Latest / Business Roundtable / Mastering Crucial Conversations in Business: A Guide for Leaders
Transcript
- 0:00Hi, everybody, Welcome back to the Business Roundtable podcast. So glad to
- 0:06have you here. Well we have another great conversation. Uh. For those
- 0:10of you that are tuning in for the first time, my name is David
- 0:13Carr of Stewart Your Business, where I focus on organizational help, help helping
- 0:19team leaders business owners build a team that they're proud of working together accomplishing great
- 0:25things. I'm super excited to have back Bill Hatch. Bill welcome. Oh
- 0:32and Bill's frozen there, he goes, Bill, are you there? We
- 0:37got are you watching here? He is, Welcome back, Bill h So
- 0:47and then we have thank you Bill, Yeah, go ahead, Bill,
- 0:59Ye, yes, Yes I do. I do a couple of podcasts under
- 1:03the banner of Bald Spots Productions. I produce a show roundtable show called not
- 1:08Quite After Midnight that has a variety of guests as opposed to a strictly business
- 1:18podcast and uh. And then I also do a couple of Christian broadcasts.
- 1:26You're all over it, all over it Bill so uh. And then we've
- 1:32got a special guest that I've known for a long time, Adam Pulling.
- 1:37Welcome Adam, if you wou don't mind, just kind of introducing yourself to
- 1:40the team, to the audience because you're new and we're so glad to have
- 1:42you here. Thank you so much. David. Yeah, Hi, I
- 1:46am Adam Pulling and I have known David for goodness quite a few decades now,
- 1:53so it's such a pleasure to be on here. I've had a multitude
- 1:57of business opportunities because I've been involved with during my life and it's currently I
- 2:01have been doing a business development coaching for the past three to four years,
- 2:06so and I'm located here in Texas, Austin, Texas to be specific.
- 2:10We're glad to have you, Adam. I'm super excited to have your contributions
- 2:15here on our topic tonight, which is critical the business is really crucial conversations
- 2:23having constructive conflict in the workplace, and so I know all of you,
- 2:30both of you have had those, I've had them, and so our goal
- 2:32here in this podcast episode is to really help you that are listening make sure
- 2:37that when you have those conversations or conflicts or collisions if you will, that
- 2:43it can be the most productive that they can be and a beneficial to your
- 2:47organization and not not a liability. So we'll just start there. And you
- 2:55know, I'll just start with a question and maybe I'll come to you.
- 2:58I'll come to you first, Adam, on this about sure? Why why
- 3:02crucial conversations? Why is it? Why do we need to embrace that?
- 3:07Because there's there's a we can embrace it or avoid it. And you know,
- 3:12when we're thinking about this concept of crucial conversations and collisions and all of
- 3:16that, you know what, you know, why why is that important?
- 3:20Because some people are avoids and some people run right into it and and you
- 3:23know, why do what in your opinion, why do you think these are
- 3:25so important? Oh? My goodness, yes, really here it comes down
- 3:30to this. Main point is you can't run away from it. I would
- 3:36love to say that, yes you can, and there's a great escape mechanism
- 3:39and you'll get away with it, but you won't. And the biggest reason
- 3:44is is we don't actually go against this conflict that's facing you. It could
- 3:47be very small, it could be petty, it could be something that she's
- 3:50very minor. It'll get larger and larger and larger until it becomes something so
- 3:53big you can't outrun it anyways. And I have done that from experience where
- 3:59I've tried to outrun something in the past and he has come back and has
- 4:02blown up in my face. And so I'm speaking from experiencing. It is
- 4:08much much better for your psyche, for the people you're with, the people
- 4:13that count on you, including your family, your friends, your coworkers,
- 4:17and also the person that you need to have this crucial conversation with if you
- 4:21just confront the issue and you can find that it just becomes minimized, you
- 4:28know, and I'll talk about the Bible slide for a second. Is He's
- 4:31you know, God wants us to confront our fears, you know, and
- 4:36he gives us all the strength and the power to do so. You know,
- 4:39if there's fear in our life, so he wants us to conquer,
- 4:42if it's a conversation, if it's an opportunity to overcome something that is causing
- 4:46fear to us. You know, being out there and just accomplishing this opens
- 4:49up a wide range of opportunities and as you can then move forward in your
- 4:54life with you back up. You hide from these opportunities I'm going to call
- 4:58them that in conference opportunity of these, then you become weaker as the opportunity
- 5:02as a person as a leader, as a partner, and also as someone
- 5:06who is you know, speaking of God's power with them as a Christian as
- 5:11which I am. God's won't work through you to accomplish these goals. So
- 5:14let God work through you to accomplish these He wants you to be successful.
- 5:16So work towards them, accomplish them, and you can afford Oh man,
- 5:20great, great, some great thoughts there. One of the things you triggered
- 5:24me in my mind at Adam is when you bring in the God conversation,
- 5:29whether you believe in God or not. There's a story of Adam and Eve.
- 5:32Right, Adam and Eve they have they didn't have the crucial conversation.
- 5:39They went and hid. They said, I'm hiding, a hiding, I'm
- 5:43trying to run it. But like you said, Adam, to your point,
- 5:45they couldn't hide from it, like God knew where they were, and
- 5:48and so we can't hide from it. You can't hide from God, right.
- 5:54I mean you could even try to hide from co workers or other things.
- 5:58But ultimately it's good to come up some come somewhere along the line.
- 6:02So Bill for you, when you you hear this conversation about colliding and collision
- 6:09and and having these crucial conversations. What what what what does that mean for
- 6:13you? Let's see, all right, Bill, you're with us technical see
- 6:24and you thought Adam is in in the tornado alley right now? The flashing
- 6:30vine my window here, and we're gonna see if Bill doesn't. And Bill's
- 6:34in Missouri, so we're we've got the central United States cover tonight. I'm
- 6:40here on the west coast where it's really nice and calm, thankfully. But
- 6:44if Bill comes back, we'll see if we get them. Bill phil for
- 6:47to chime in. Once you hear us he's back. Can you see me
- 6:55now we could see you. You're good? Sorry about that? Yay,
- 7:03okay, yeah. You know something that that Adam was saying reminded me of
- 7:12a story. There's a bunch of animals living in the forest and a tiger
- 7:18comes along and asks if he can live in the forest with the animals and
- 7:23the and the animals so it's fine, you know, you can, you
- 7:28can live here, no problem, and and the sheep just kind of says
- 7:32okay. And as time goes by, the tiger starts growling at the sheep
- 7:40and and really making the sheep very uncomfortable, and I'll tell the sheep finally
- 7:46is so, so it says, forget it, I'm leaving the forest.
- 7:51Forest, and she goes to the other animals and says, listen, I
- 7:55kiss tiger anymore. I'm leaving. And the other animals say, wait,
- 7:59wait, you know, maybe we just need to promote some communication or or
- 8:03you know, or or you know, do something about about the tiger's attitude.
- 8:09And and the sheep say no, no, I'm done. It's too
- 8:15late, and uh, you know, like, yeah, well you can't.
- 8:22Yeah, yeah, but the problem, Yeah, if you if you
- 8:28try running from the running from the problem or burying it or burying your head
- 8:33in the sand, then it's just the problem is gonna get too big and
- 8:37you're gonna have to have that uncomfortable conversation sooner or later, and sooner the
- 8:41problem is smaller. So uh yes, so you know, just yeah,
- 8:50just suck it up and get it over with. Yeah, right, Well,
- 8:54I think about I like that idea, Bill, what you said,
- 8:56start smaller and understanding these crucial conversations. They don't start off usually, these
- 9:01big blow ups. It's it's right, it's starting off. I'll think of
- 9:05like a pinhole, leak and a pipe or something. You know, it's
- 9:09a little bit, it gets worse over time, has more destruction, and
- 9:11the longer you let it go right where the gap gap gets bigger and bigger.
- 9:16To your point, you're what you're saying, Adam, So I think
- 9:20it's important to be recognize, be on the lookout for what constitutes a crucial
- 9:28conversation. Why is it essential to be able to identify when it's necessary to
- 9:33have that conversation, what's contributing? What are the elements that are kind of
- 9:37building up there? And so then you know what do we need to look
- 9:43for. So I'll come back to you, Adam for a second if you
- 9:45and I give us an example or two of like where where have you like
- 9:48said? Okay? And I know you've even shared with me previously critical conversations
- 9:52that had to happen right and some of them that maybe went on the way
- 9:56waited too long and I should have had that critical conversation earlier. But what
- 10:00are the things that we try to do on this podcast and those that are
- 10:03listening, is we want to bring value and insights so you can apply this
- 10:07in your own life and where you're looking at so particularly for those people that
- 10:09are maybe up and coming leaders or managers and they're like, I don't know,
- 10:13is this a big issue or not a big issue? What should I
- 10:16could be considering? So what would that look like for you, Adam?
- 10:20One of the things like, hey, this is this is leading as an
- 10:22indicator. We might need to have a collision in a positive way, address
- 10:28this in a constructive way. Yeah, that's a great question, and it's
- 10:33a little different for everybody. I think what I may think is a very
- 10:39important topic to be discussed. Now it may not affect anybody else, but
- 10:43as a leader, you really need to be able to take a look at
- 10:45the environment you're creating, the culture you're creating, and really making sure that
- 10:48everybody is on the same page. A good leader doesn't just drive the business,
- 10:54but they drive the culture and the business right. And so when you're
- 10:58looking at like this culture I'm trying to present here is maybe I want someplace
- 11:03that people can come, they can feel relaxed, and their the ability to
- 11:05communicate each other, they feel that they're welcome, they want they enjoy being
- 11:09where they are. I always try to carry a place that when it was
- 11:11five o'clock, people don't run out the dogs. They hate it so much.
- 11:15It was like five five fifteen. Now it's five thirty, and I
- 11:18was like, not trying to push them. I'm like, hey, guys,
- 11:18go home to your family, you know. So things that may affect
- 11:22me may not be them. But the important things they start talking about is
- 11:26when it doesn't just affect me personally, because I look and go, hey,
- 11:31this might affect me, but it's also affecting the business. It is
- 11:35affecting the business culture. Is it affecting their ability to do their job effectively?
- 11:39Is it affecting my other team players' ability to do their job effectively?
- 11:45Is it changing their quality of work life? And I like to always bring
- 11:50that into balance because just because I am passionate and I want to get this
- 11:54job done by last week, you know, and I just gave them to
- 11:56it today. You know, I'm really excited. I want this going going
- 12:00going, But you do realistic. I try to bring us into mind and
- 12:01say, okay, what realistically should this conversation be about. Is just me?
- 12:05Is it affecting everybody? And so I bring down these key areas and
- 12:09I look over them all and I say, okay, taking into consideration here
- 12:13is with a realistic leader, with a realistic manager, and my position also
- 12:18have a similar kind of issue with what's going on here with with anybody likewise
- 12:24want to accomplish the same kind of goal I'm trying to accomplish. If so,
- 12:26yes, great, I move forward and then I start addressing these making
- 12:31a list. I always try to go prepared, right you want to,
- 12:33You really want to have a defined list of what you're looking at before you're
- 12:37going to them, with real life examples. Nothing worse than going in there
- 12:41and going every day I see, Yeah, it's just not right, you
- 12:45know, and it's at first you're talking in absolutes. They're going to shoot
- 12:48you down immediately going what do you mean every day as the other days?
- 12:50You know, you try to have real examples, you know, Hi,
- 12:52John Susan, whoever. The past couple of times I've seen you come in,
- 12:58you did such and such and such on this time, and I really
- 13:01like to be able to accomplish this, this and this is right that's getting
- 13:03in your way? Is there anything that you want to discuss with me?
- 13:05Is the reason why you can't achieve or the reason why you're seeing this different
- 13:09balance and what we're trying to accomplish here. Do you have a different take
- 13:13on that I'm not seeing? Share with me, open up to me.
- 13:15How can I help you accomplish it at the end of the day. And
- 13:18that's made a big difference for me and kind of just breaking down these few
- 13:20rules before jumping in deeper and really trying to attack anything too crazy, because
- 13:26sometimes it's just like, you know what, Actually, I've had to flew
- 13:28the past two three days and I still came to work. Anyways. I'm
- 13:31like, oh my goodness, you still came into work. Thank you so
- 13:33much. You're you're you're doing amazing stuff for us, but please go home
- 13:35and get better. Right right, I want to I want to throw it
- 13:41to Bill here for a minute, Bill, because on previous episodes we've talked
- 13:45about core values, right, and one of the things is that related to
- 13:52what you're talking about, Adam, is if somebody is not you know,
- 13:56one of the things I use I would love to get your thoughts here on
- 13:58this bill is if your company hopefully has core values something a mission or a
- 14:03vision, all of those things. But we talked about core values quite a
- 14:07bit on a past episode, and if somebody is not living up to those
- 14:11values of the company. What would you say, you know, in that
- 14:16in the reign of a crucial conversation, Bill, how would you address that
- 14:20or you know, pick up on that. Well, the first thing to
- 14:28remember is that no one sees themselves as the villain of the story, and
- 14:37so you have to speak to them in a way that understands that. You
- 14:45know, the bad guy is not the bad guy in his or her own
- 14:48story. And you know so so when you approach them about whatever issue it
- 14:56is someone else is having, you have to help them to understand the other
- 15:01position. And uh, you know so, uh so empathy is definitely an
- 15:11important core value to to be promoting. In the light of that, you
- 15:16know, cut it off, you know, cut it off before it becomes
- 15:22a problem. Mhm. And uh you know, by creating, by creating
- 15:26things in the in the environment, like empathy, seeing failure as an opportunity
- 15:35for for learning or improvement. We talked about that last week. If you
- 15:39missed the last episode, you missed a lot. But and uh, you
- 15:46know you need to yeh like and subscribe. That's right. So so that's
- 15:54the That's the big thing that I would say is that you need to we
- 16:00need to go into this already already prepared, Like, yeah, like what
- 16:08Adam was saying with with you know, write down what it is you want
- 16:14to discuss, have at least talking points over it as to the whys and
- 16:21wherefore and how somebody else could see the behavior as being unpleasant or worse.
- 16:30Yeah, And I liked how you started Adam earlier about you know, looking
- 16:34at this is this is this a me problem? Or is this something bigger?
- 16:38And I like the model it's been talked about, giving copy of talking
- 16:42about the circle influence or how how do we start with ourselves and radiate out?
- 16:48Right? So looking at that and then and then and looking at that,
- 16:52we're looking at problems directly, indirectly and things we don't have any control
- 16:55over. Right, So if we could start with ourselves, that may may
- 17:00just be a crucial conversation with ourselves. Right, It's a hard one sometimes
- 17:06too. We better like collide with ourselves and be real, you know,
- 17:11stop lying to ourselves, really realize what's going on. But then but but
- 17:15then radiating out from that, uh, you know, looking at Okay,
- 17:21what what does that framework look like for having the conversation? I never like
- 17:26to have a gotcha conversation in any kind of bess. And I was literally
- 17:32Lily just talking to a client today because we were talking about like performance reviews,
- 17:34things like that, right where sometimes those were crucial conversations. However,
- 17:41I was telling her, and I advise anybody that's listening here, if you're
- 17:45annual or you know performance for you, let's just say it's annual and you're
- 17:49having a crucial conversation, not that you can't have one there. My hope
- 17:53would be that wouldn't be that you would have had conversations leading up to that,
- 17:56right, like what you were saying, so that you're having so it's
- 18:00not a surprise, you're not. It's not a gadya. You're like,
- 18:06oh, I'm I'm aware and I know what's going on. And again,
- 18:11like you were saying, Adam, if we catch this or Bill catching this
- 18:15earlier on, he doesn't need to get blown up. But the reality is
- 18:18paying attention. And I'll give you an example for me of different people raise
- 18:26up issues. And I had a conversation at one point with a gentleman I
- 18:30worked with, and he had said something to me in past. It seemed
- 18:33to me in passing. I didn't realize the gravity of his comment and what
- 18:38he was bringing up to me at the time, and it should have been
- 18:42a crucial conversation. I didn't recognize it at the time the way he presented
- 18:48it. I just didn't pick it up that way. He is a very
- 18:51calm, very just very you know. There just wasn't a lot of emotion
- 18:55or anything tied to it, so I missed it. And then we had
- 19:00to learn a communications style to understand each other. So it's like knowing who
- 19:04you are and knowing your other team too, about your talked about culture Adam
- 19:07earlier of like, Okay, maybe it isn't affecting me, but it's affecting
- 19:12this other person, and I do need to have that crucial conversation. So
- 19:15again identifying that what we ended up doing. We kind of laughed about it,
- 19:18but I would. I would when he would talk with me, and
- 19:21we would because everything sounded the same to me when he talked. I just
- 19:25couldn't differentiate if this was like really really important or is this low. So
- 19:29it's literally say hey, David, my hair is on fire, because that
- 19:30was like our keyword. Now my hair is on fire. This is the
- 19:33issue. So I learned to adapt to be able to identify and recognize these
- 19:40issues. But I also recognized thankful he was willing to tell me that.
- 19:47But here's the thing I think, as leaders need to know, you have
- 19:49to be tuned in this because sometimes people aren't as tune in themselves and they
- 19:55really want to have a crucial conversation with you, but they they have their
- 20:00own limitations on themselves, and so sometimes they don't bring the conversation. I
- 20:03mean, say I have an open door policy, come see me so again,
- 20:07as leaders yourselves and don't come back to you, Adam, How again,
- 20:12have you recognized that or have you learned techniques or tools in which you
- 20:15can then clue in on that? Absolutely? Yeah, So I'm not sure
- 20:21if you guys are familiar with strengths finders at all. Oh yeah, great.
- 20:23So in my top five, my number one is empathy. So some
- 20:29days it's really painful and you can walk into a room and I'm able to
- 20:33really kind of sense the feeling there. Sometimes you are like, hey,
- 20:37I can cut that tensu with a knife. Like I'm the guy going here's
- 20:38the knife. I already felt it, you know, I get it on
- 20:41there with you, and so I spent a lot of time actually just having
- 20:45conversations with my team members. I got to know them on a deeper level,
- 20:52know their passions, their dreams, what they really want to accomplish inside
- 20:56of work, outside of work, having a better quality of life for them
- 21:00planned in my head, so I can have a vision with what they want
- 21:03to do and what makes your life better. I can kind of sense at
- 21:06that point when things aren't going well. Like you, if anybody else you
- 21:10spend a lot of time with, you know when they're feeling good, when
- 21:12they're feeling bad. And I understand that it'll be difficult for a leader that
- 21:15may have ten twenty fifty one hundred employees or more under them than know every
- 21:19single person individually. But I believe they should least know them well enough that
- 21:23they could just know their name. And you can kind of sense some people
- 21:26aren't doing well. They're not making eye contact with you, they're looking down
- 21:30when they're having conversation with you. They're feeling uncomfortable because they're fidgeting a lot,
- 21:33they're changing their head, they're copying they You know, you can take
- 21:37on these normal mannerisms that we can get out of individuals when you can say
- 21:41this person feels very uncomfortable to me, and I try to just maybe share
- 21:45something about myself with them, like, Hey, I have gone through this.
- 21:49Do you experience something like that? Maybe like you know what, Hi,
- 21:52We're getting ready to the holiday season. I know it's gonna be busy
- 21:56in the retail sector and you may be like, wow, this hollay season
- 21:59is common on film, tired of myself? How are you doing? And
- 22:02just ask these open ended questions for them. Let them not just say yes
- 22:04or no, because that's what they want to do. Properly. Bosses right
- 22:07here, I want to seyes know and go away, you know, but
- 22:10really kind of dig down and say, hey, how are you doing,
- 22:12and what has work been like for you? What do you see this holiday
- 22:18season? Get them involved in it, and you can kind of hear them.
- 22:21They will start having deeper conversation with you as they trust you. So
- 22:23building that trust mechanism, opening that environment where they feel that they can communicate
- 22:29with you, we'll get to that next level where you can help them accomplish
- 22:33more and have this better trust and understanding, and so you can help them
- 22:37solve their their problems more and they'll be willing to come to you and have
- 22:41that deeper level conversation where they feel like, Okay, I'm secure, I'm
- 22:45safe here, I want to go forward. Can you help me? And
- 22:48as a leader, your plan was like, yes, I want to help
- 22:49you because your successful in my success and our success, and we want to
- 22:52want to do those things. And so that' stuff's kind of noticed. That's
- 22:56a great I mean everybody has that, So that's wonderful. You have that
- 22:59gift adam of empathy. Bill. I want to ask you a question here
- 23:06when because I know one of your one are your focus is ethics, right,
- 23:10business ethics, So how do you approach somebody when they're, like you
- 23:14said, maybe they don't see themselves as the villain, they don't see themselves
- 23:18but ethically they're not in alignment with what the business is. Maybe they don't
- 23:23know it, But how do you number one, identify it? You can,
- 23:27I think you can identify that. But what do you do to approach
- 23:30that person, especially when they don't think they're being a villain, Like,
- 23:33Hey, I'm getting the job done, I'm working it right, I'm getting
- 23:37thing covered, I'm being productive. You're like, well, maybe not in
- 23:40the way that we would want to be doing that, right. Yeah,
- 23:48Yeah, that's a that's a tough one because if you haven't already set up
- 23:52the culture where such behaviors are discouraged, unwelcome. However however you wanna you
- 24:03want to put it, however strongly you want to put it, then you're
- 24:07you're really starting from behind. You're you've got an uphill battle ahead of you,
- 24:11because like all this see doesn't know the people. People see them as
- 24:22as a viking with a battle axe, and uh, you know, but
- 24:27I have door policy. My door's always open, and you know, and
- 24:32they and they just don't see it. You you need to go in there
- 24:37with the prepared with this is what these other people are feeling. You have
- 24:44to teach them how to be empathetic too to others. You know, so
- 24:49and so is introverted. You. You know, it's like we we need
- 24:56you to understand how how that feels when you come in to them, like
- 25:02a like like a bull in a china shop, you know, covet edge
- 25:07just running in and you know it's like, hey, I'm really so excited
- 25:10about such and such. They really don't understand that, and things like uh,
- 25:15well you you've had Maurice on the show, and uh, what's what's
- 25:21most uh uh personality? Uh? Profiling product program? What's a colonality?
- 25:33Yea, but yeah, to figure out these these kinds of powerality, there
- 25:38we go. Powerality. Oh that's terrible. I'm sorry mom that I forgot
- 25:42that powerality. You know. Using systems like powernality to help people understand the
- 25:49emotional status, the the processes that are internal to two people, that are
- 25:57native to people, you know, it can be so such important tools,
- 26:04you know, and and I highly recommend getting getting one in place so that
- 26:11you can help your people understand how to work with one another, especially especially
- 26:18in the top down side of things, because the people at the bottom are
- 26:23afraid of the people at the top because they don't want to be looking for
- 26:26another job. Yeah. Well to your point, Bill, And one of
- 26:33the reasons why we're all on here tonight too is those that that those that
- 26:36do want to reach out to us and get more information please do. All
- 26:38of us will respond happily to you. I found tip to this, what
- 26:44you're saying I hear you saying, Bill, is that if you're going to
- 26:47have a crucial conversation, sometimes it doesn't mean, like you said, either
- 26:51be prepared going into it. I would also argue, just make the point
- 26:53because this has been helpful for me where I've had difficult h R discussions human
- 26:59resources where I actually either had a second person in the room talking with the
- 27:03person. Don't always go it alone. Sometimes it's fine to be one on
- 27:07one. I'm not saying that's not appropriate, but there may be a point
- 27:11where you want to bring another person in to the conversation to help, you
- 27:15know, again, address the issues and make sure that it's and that patient.
- 27:22Yeah, go ahead, right, And who that person is could be
- 27:30different depending on what the situation is, depending on what your nightmare scenario is.
- 27:37I have a nightmare scenario back. This was back in the nineties when
- 27:42when it's entirely possible we first met, but I was still going to school
- 27:48at cal Poling and I was chair of the chair of the Road Slow Committee,
- 27:55and uh, being new to leadership and not really understanding a lot of
- 28:00the things that went on, I learned a really really hard lesson. One
- 28:07of the one of the guys on my team recommended his sister for our committee
- 28:17internal HR position. All she was going to do was make sure people were
- 28:22put into the right positions, that that things ran smoothly, that we didn't
- 28:26have any problems. And it turned out she was she had mental issues,
- 28:34She had a record with the campus police. They had had to remove her
- 28:40from from locations on campus before. I was surprised when I found out all
- 28:47this. I'm like, and she's still allowed to be on campus after doing
- 28:49these things we tried to she she was she was not the kind of person
- 28:56who could work with anyone under any circums dances. And I let her in
- 29:03a solely on her brother's recommendation, instead of interviewing, instead of checking on
- 29:10records or or anything like that. It was inconceivable to me that someone might
- 29:17have a police record. Who was who? Who would you know be going
- 29:19to cal POLYA you know, go figure. I really didn't know anything.
- 29:23And you know, we had our advisor go to her and try to get
- 29:30her to step down from the position. And she started calling foul on on
- 29:38on race and UH and gender and age and all these kinds of every ism
- 29:47you could you could you could come up with. And so thankfully one of
- 29:56the other ladies on the committee happened to be in her demographic very closely related
- 30:04in her demographic and so we had her make the motion to kick her out
- 30:11and we act, but we literally had to call pd to to get her
- 30:18out of the of the facility. We had to escort this the poor lady
- 30:22home who moved to have her be dismissed from the committee. We had to
- 30:27escort her home. We had we had her in one person's car driving the
- 30:33opposite direction, and the and somebody else drove her car home just in case
- 30:40she was followed. Just it was just a nightmare of nightmare scenarios. And
- 30:47you know, you really have to be careful about these things. You have
- 30:51to go in. Sometimes you have to go in what was a charm really
- 30:56said last we higher cut you know, so that you can manage easy and
- 31:06uh, you know, sometimes you have to do that. You have to
- 31:08imagine that the night mayor scenario is going to happen with this person. So
- 31:12you have to root it out. You have to find it what what is
- 31:17the problem going to be? And it's a terrible thing to have to think,
- 31:22but they can happen, and uh and when they do, you need
- 31:26to be prepared. Yeah, that's a good lead in then uh, you
- 31:33know, the Sarian and again, you know you didn't have the crucial conversation
- 31:40with this gentleman beforehand of like, hey, what would that look like?
- 31:42Like you said, so on you and then that there's a consequences that you
- 31:47had to deal without them all out there. So sometimes we don't. Sometimes
- 31:52it doesn't. Maybe it's not like, yeah, we're seeing past beaver.
- 31:56This is like a being proactive front end crucial conversation that needs to be had
- 32:00too. It doesn't have to wait till things are bad. That would have
- 32:04avoided it. So as we look at this, we kind of understand,
- 32:07we've kind of you know, we've gone through identified why crucial conversations need to
- 32:12be had. These these I call constructive conflicts or collisions, if you will.
- 32:16And we started to talk a little bit about how to construct that,
- 32:21how to set up that conversation, how to prepare. But I'll come back
- 32:24to you, Adam again, as we're looking at tools or techniques, and
- 32:30again it could be based on some specific scenario. I've mentioned performance reviews earlier,
- 32:36But what are either We've talked a little of preparing or and or and
- 32:44feel free to try me either one of these at them ways when you're actually
- 32:49in ways of communicating. So you've mentioned a little bit about empathy, what
- 32:53would you say for somebody, for example, that maybe doesn't have the empathy
- 32:58card in their front pocket. You know, sure if you kind of go
- 33:02the exact opposite of empathy and really is going to go data driven numbers.
- 33:07I believe everybody should have like KPIs or a scorecard kind of created for them
- 33:12before they start the position. They should really know what they're getting into,
- 33:15what they need to accomplish, if anything, smart goals. Sure, I'm
- 33:19sure you guys discussed smart goals as well. And so when you have these
- 33:23time based measurable goals that they're sitting in front of and the understand what's being
- 33:28expected of them along with hopefully processes and procedures SOPs and so they can understand
- 33:34fully what they should be accomplishing, the time frame and the goals involved with
- 33:37it, it becomes very very natural and very easy to have conversations with them.
- 33:43And what I like to use is actually something called a communication log.
- 33:46And I would use a communication log is very simple as the employee's name,
- 33:52and then it goes to what's being discussed and then at the very end it
- 33:57is was this a safety topic, was this a business topic? Or was
- 34:00just a general conversation you had? And I use these quite often. It
- 34:06couldn't. It could be against something less a concern that we want them to
- 34:08improve on. And I also would use them proactively for successes. I would
- 34:13make it both. I say, hey, you had you know, some
- 34:15rough times this past week. I would love to see these things that we
- 34:17could work on changing and improving. I give them opportunity to discuss into it.
- 34:22They can run on that log with me. We can make a plan
- 34:24together to see how we can accomplish these and we'd both sign it at the
- 34:27end and the same way, we would have a conversation about, Hey,
- 34:31you nailed it. You knocked it out of the park last week. I
- 34:35think I gave you some things any deliverables on and you also delivered X,
- 34:38Y and Z. You made things much better for the entire team because of
- 34:43this, and knowing that this, I wouldn't want to put this down on
- 34:45the log, So next time we have a deeper conversation, I'm going back
- 34:50to this log again. It's not hey, you're always failing hear what's going
- 34:52on? Why am I always having a conversation. I'm like, oh,
- 34:55because I may have thirty employees fifty one hundred employees like, wait, you
- 34:59know what, I may have had two conversations this person in the past six
- 35:01months because they're dated, but I also had one of these was a really
- 35:05good conversation. Now they really were successful also, and this is also a
- 35:08wonderful tool when you're having those maybe bi annual or annual reviews. You go
- 35:15back into that conversation, that communication log, and you kind of get down
- 35:17this communication lot and say, okay, great, I see here that there's
- 35:21some things we discussed. Let's review this did Was there improvements? Was there
- 35:24not improvements? Was there a backslide? Did we succeed on here? And
- 35:29again, just kind of how you guys were reviewing the same before. Bi
- 35:32annual or annual review should never be a surprise. There's everything that's on that
- 35:37should just be a recap of what they already known, what you already know.
- 35:40No one should go in there with any kind of worries. And that
- 35:44always made it very easy for me. In fact, my employees already know
- 35:46exactly what we're going to talk about. Me getting there, it didn't become
- 35:49a two hour conversation in the battle. It was like, hey, thanks,
- 35:52we already know where we're at, we know what we accomplished. Let's
- 35:55go and just focus on these goals we really want to achieve to move the
- 35:59needle forward. It wasn't like, okay, now let's talk about you and
- 36:04I don't want to do this is awkward because what's the number one thing that
- 36:07every leader in the company is always saying, and it goes in every single
- 36:09book, every written thing, is always like I hate reviews, I hate
- 36:13telling people if they're bad or you know, everyone like saying yeah, you're
- 36:15good, and no one likes saying hey, what you're accomplished on. But
- 36:19these tools you can do is get your KPIs, get your SOPs, get
- 36:22your processes in place, know what you want them to accomplish with their with
- 36:27their scorecards, and you know, making sure it's small smart goals that they
- 36:30can and make sure in these smart goals that they're working on is that they
- 36:34can actually affect it. Don't put somebody's on the engineering team in charge of
- 36:37accounting numbers. You know, say hey, I want higher profits. I
- 36:42don't care if you're on the engineering team. That's what you're in charge.
- 36:44If they can't control it, they can, why are you putting that on
- 36:46there? It's not fair for them. Right, Make sure there's things that
- 36:49they can control, and then you have these conversations, hey, you could
- 36:52controls. We agreed on these goals, and we make these goals. Always
- 36:55make try and make them with them, right, don't just throw them.
- 36:58Be logical, make them with them, write them down together, and make
- 37:01some timelines for some smartles, and when they achieve them or not, you
- 37:05need to make some notes and you try and make some corrections and hopefully everythink
- 37:07keeps going in the same direction, no surprises, and Arabe kind of understands
- 37:10and becomes actually a very productive conversation. They're typically excited to be a part
- 37:15of. Yeah. I like that what they can affect, because sometimes I
- 37:20feel like there's some conversations that are being had and you've given people certain things
- 37:23to work on which they either haven't But I found some challenging things with clients
- 37:30is they have a signed and things they've given an assignment, but the person
- 37:34hasn't fully bought in or or or acknowledged it. It's like it's like just
- 37:37giving to them, but it's not like a clean handoff, and then the
- 37:42person that did it gave it to them as frustrated and they're like, oh
- 37:44man, I got to talk with them whatever, But did you did they
- 37:45have body, did they understand? Were they all in? Were they committed
- 37:50or was there or was it you know? And so you have to own
- 37:53your side of it, and you know, I identify that. So that's
- 37:58a really good point, Adam, being careful about what you're giving to them,
- 38:02because if you're saying, well, like you said at the beginning of
- 38:05the episode, the crucial conversation maybe myself, I I is it really me?
- 38:08Or is how's affecting the greater you know company here? Right? How
- 38:15about you? How about you? Bill? What are some things that you
- 38:17have found helpful in either preparing for either preparing for a conversation or a way
- 38:27of communicating that conversation. Well, I love like I like Adams communications logs.
- 38:37That's that's really a good a good thing. I'm always reminded of private
- 38:44support back in school. You know, Uh Bill's doing great, but he
- 38:49could blah blah blah, you know, or you know, he could pay
- 38:52attention more or you know, uh oh, Bill's uh Bill Bill did this.
- 38:59That was really good because if you until the final grade comes out,
- 39:05it's too late. Sorry, did you guys lose me for a second?
- 39:09You're still there? I was like, if we lost there went dark?
- 39:15Yeah, still there. Lightning is sitting pretty close here, steady, Adam
- 39:22just worried about you. Thank you. I've seen lightning and that we're seeing
- 39:29lightning out of his back window. Yeah, and then you're gonna have to
- 39:32go and watch the YouTube or catch us on there if you're listening online,
- 39:36So go ahead. Sorry, I apologize, Bill, Thank you. Oh
- 39:43and Bell's now frozen? Are you back Bell? No problem? No.
- 39:46What I was saying is, oh, yeah, I'm think I'm here is
- 39:54what was that? There should be something to do as a as a progress
- 40:00report throughout the throughout the period of the performance review, because if you are
- 40:07waiting and till the perforation, it's already too late. You know, it's
- 40:15it's whatever, it is becoming trend. There's nothing you can do about it
- 40:22now and uh and then and then the other bonuses is having thing like a
- 40:28communication log enables you to be able to work on improving communication. Because we've
- 40:35talked about it before that the Communication is something that's so critical to to business,
- 40:43but it's so difficult to improve because there are no direct measurements to communication.
- 40:50You can't have more communications, you know. You can't just say,
- 40:52oh, we're going to communicate more. You have to be able to say
- 40:55we're going to do three more of these and four more of this and uh.
- 41:00You know, so having having logs that showed what was communicated and when
- 41:06and uh and some kind of rating scale as to how well it went,
- 41:09how well it was received, you know, that can be marked on the
- 41:14communication log as well to h to know what you're going to be dealing with
- 41:17when that performance review comes up. Yeah, I have a couple of thoughts.
- 41:22I wanted to run you went by you guys before we wrap up our
- 41:25episodes, because these are some things I've done and and and again open.
- 41:29I like that we have We don't always have to agree on this podcast.
- 41:31That's one thing I like is having different minds and thoughts on how we do
- 41:35these things. One thing I did from time to time. Depending again,
- 41:40if this is catching the crucial, I would say catching the crucial conversation very
- 41:44early on, or we're seeing something start to percolate. If you will pop
- 41:49up and where I've seen it in an individual or individuals and it's like kind
- 41:57of nipping in the bud where rather well, I can still talk them individually.
- 42:00I have no problem with that, but sometimes I found it to be
- 42:02more effective to do a group conversation, meaning kind of not singling out somebody,
- 42:08but just saying I've noticed a trend, I've noticed things going on in
- 42:12the company, and this is how we're addressing and if it gets worse,
- 42:16of course I can have that conversation, but it kind of opens up the
- 42:19conversation. It doesn't need to listen. I don't at that point need to
- 42:22single out anybody because it's probably a couple of different people are or are doing
- 42:25this or have adopted a certain way of being, and it's like, well,
- 42:30that's not quite an alignment with what we want to be doing. And
- 42:32so having that either group conversation or at least getting information out to the team,
- 42:40like you were talking about earlier, Adam, kind of this is who
- 42:43we are. This is again we've got maybe reset, like you said,
- 42:46Bill, some expectations. So maybe we look we internally as lead us cleaning
- 42:52too. It's like, you know what that policy or procedure, like you
- 42:54said, Adam, isn't quite clear, So I probably need to republish or
- 42:59reset that out so then I can recalibrate, get realignment, because I really
- 43:04can't call anybody at this point because it is fuzzy, it's a little messy,
- 43:07and so I want to I want to clean it up and look at
- 43:12that policy procedure before I have that conversation, right thoughts Adam or or I'll
- 43:16go to you Adam or Bill as we're kind of wrapping it up for sure.
- 43:21No, I agree, you know, sometimes I always like to attack
- 43:24the policy before the person. Sometimes we're just not clearing what we want.
- 43:29We're so excited, we're driving ten different things and they're thinking that they understand
- 43:32what we're saying, but we are saying something completely different than what they are
- 43:37trying to achieve themselves. And so look at the policy of the procedure,
- 43:39making sure we're all on the same page first, if they've already read over
- 43:44it, we all agree on where we're going, what we're supposed to be
- 43:45doing, how we're trying to achieve it, and they're just not able to
- 43:49follow it. Then it goes down to does this policy perscedure need to be
- 43:52adjusted. You know, is everyone having the same kind of problem that you
- 43:55are having. If not, we find out, okay, is it cultural
- 44:00difference? Is it a business difference? And then we say, if it's
- 44:02a cultural difference and we're not looking to change the culture of the company,
- 44:07well maybe we need to help them find a place in the company where or
- 44:08a different division where it will work, or help them find a new home
- 44:13for themselves outside of the business where they can be more successful, because it's
- 44:16just as not it's also just not as fair to hold on to them when
- 44:19they can be more successful somewhere where they can move forward in a culture that
- 44:22makes sense to them, in the style of a business that they like to
- 44:25perform it at mm hmm, yeah. Built any other thoughts there? Well,
- 44:35one way to uh to do that to get well, to get the
- 44:39buying is is important when you're when you're changing or introducing new new tactics,
- 44:47techniques, protocols, what have you. And the best one of the best
- 44:53ways to do that is to get the people, the employees, the organization
- 45:00to create it. You know, go to the go to them. This
- 45:05is an issue we're having. What do you all think and guide them toward
- 45:12an appropriate solution. That that way they can say, you know, in
- 45:16the future. You know, it's like when the problem comes up again,
- 45:21Hey we came up with this, We need to make this work and uh,
- 45:27and it gives it gives people a little pride ownership. Yeah, like
- 45:30I mean, you let them run free and wild as far as as far
- 45:35as coming up with the solution. You know, you are the leader.
- 45:38You you need to guide them. But but yeah, there's definitely a place
- 45:46for that, Bill, and I think inviting uh, feedback, whether it
- 45:52be a group conversation, a poll survey, something like that, that which
- 45:55they can provide input for for further consideration. So as we're as we're coming
- 46:02to an end end of the podcast, here is this to go around.
- 46:06I really appreciate you both being here. I want to come back to you
- 46:08Bill for final thoughts and takeaways and Adam here in a moment just but just
- 46:13you know, we've covered a lot. Just to go back, we've kind
- 46:15of you know, identified here the need for crucial conversations, constructive conflict,
- 46:21don't hide from it, you know, need to run into it, face
- 46:24it. And we've come up with some ways of identifying them and tools and
- 46:29tachingques in which way we can address them, prepare and have better conversations.
- 46:32So, out of all these things we've covered tonight, Bill, what's kind
- 46:36of your key takeaways and things that you know you want to leave here in
- 46:40insights that you've taken and share with our listeners. Well, I think I
- 46:45think a great idea was Adam's communication lags. I think that's something that can
- 46:52be adapted to to most multi employee companies and could be very useful and developing,
- 47:00developing all sorts of productive things. You know, your your your s
- 47:07o p S, your TTPs, your your KPIs all of those great initial
- 47:13things and uh yeah, and a great way to to build up to to
- 47:22that all important performance review. Great, thanks Bell, Adam, We're so
- 47:29glad to have you here. You've added a lot to the conversation. What
- 47:31are what our final thoughts and takeaways you have And the biggest one to say
- 47:36is it's okay to be afraid, but it's even better to conquer those fears,
- 47:43you know, and if the fear is just having those important conversations,
- 47:46you know, welcome those conversations. Welcome those fears, and then as you
- 47:51conquer them, they will no longer control you, and you'll find these conversations
- 47:54not just easier, but even more productive and sometimes fun to have these deeper
- 48:00and siations with your employees because they will appreciate the fact that you were coming
- 48:02to them earnestly, give them opportunity also to improve, which will help them
- 48:07become better employees and hopefully better leaders as they're growing through your organization as well.
- 48:13Yeah, well, that's that's so powerful. Yeah, and we don't
- 48:15want any of me living living with fear, doubt, worry, anxiety.
- 48:17That is not a productive state of being. Well, have it like it's
- 48:22not. It's all part of our human condition, just a matter. Let's
- 48:23let's face it and overcome that together. So I really appreciate those thoughts,
- 48:27Adam. I hope all of those those that are listening and watching can take
- 48:30some of that with you tonight and incorporate that in your next conversation. Look
- 48:36for those and have those crucial conversations. And if you're struggling with this or
- 48:40something like you're like, well I just not quite know how to do this,
- 48:44or I want more support, reach out to Adam Bill myself. We're
- 48:47happy to connect with you, drop a comment in here. We do appreciate
- 48:51all of your feedback as you've listened in and share your insights. We always
- 48:55appreciate that, like we said earlier, like subscribe all of those fun things,
- 49:00follow us along. We're on YouTube and love to have you listen or
- 49:04listen to us on any of your favorite pop podcast platforms. So again,
- 49:07Adam and Bill, thank you so much for joining me back here on the
- 49:12Business Roundtable podcast. The next time, have a great evening. Thanks for
- 49:17having me again, you too,