Latest / Dear Son, / The Label Is the First to Leave | Navigating Identity | Ep 159 | The Dear Son, Show

Transcript

The Label Is the First to Leave | Navigating Identity | Ep 159 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And we live.
0:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the this on show where we have real life, meaningful conversations to help young men and boys.
0:09
[SPEAKER_00]: No, now what we wish we knew then, I don't want to use J-Black.
0:15
[SPEAKER_00]: DJs are the host.
0:16
[SPEAKER_01]: DJs, what's up, what's up, that's up?
0:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Great start.
0:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
0:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Great start.
0:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I was going to go somewhere else with it, but I was like, no, I'm saving it.
0:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you might see if I work a bad, good day man, sunny out.
0:26
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a little chilly.
0:27
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I guess it's the winter time or almost the winter.
0:30
[SPEAKER_01]: It's good.
0:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's a good Texas.
0:31
[SPEAKER_01]: How do they go, man?
0:32
[SPEAKER_01]: It went well, man.
0:34
[SPEAKER_01]: We are family, you know, I'm saying that it's, um,
0:39
[SPEAKER_01]: It was, taught me a lesson, you know I'd be getting a lesson because I'd be getting, I'd be getting a set about nothing.
0:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'd even know seven and know it about nothing.
0:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I didn't, I was out of the mix in terms of the plans.
0:52
[SPEAKER_01]: It was really Keesha and her family, her brother, and his family came in and they kind of wanted to handle it.
0:58
[SPEAKER_01]: So I, I, I, I, I,
0:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I found out what the assignment was for our house, right?
1:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Our house is responsible for this.
1:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And there was something that Keesha made last year.
1:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, you know, I'm cool.
1:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Chilling could normally, normally I'd be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, to Thursday, morning, I'm doing something.
1:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I like to cook in stages.
1:17
[SPEAKER_01]: But it worked out because the lesson that it told me was,
1:27
[SPEAKER_01]: that like I was looking for a schedule of like so I mean because game coming on and you have maybe everything worked out smooth everything when we probably ate around four o'clock was fine
1:40
[SPEAKER_01]: But for whatever reason in my mind, I just needed to know it was going to be four o'clock for it to be fine.
1:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, before I actually worked out, right?
1:47
[SPEAKER_01]: So it, you know, it was one of the late take of beat, right?
1:49
[SPEAKER_01]: It just brought it, it really wasn't that serious.
1:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything, everything was good.
1:53
[SPEAKER_01]: We didn't have a whole bunch of stuff sit.
1:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Like when I had not sitting in the fridge now, molding and getting furry.
1:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because we overcooked.
2:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
2:01
[SPEAKER_01]: It was just a smooth chill time.
2:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, about choice.
2:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, pretty much the same.
2:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I really enjoyed it.
2:06
[SPEAKER_00]: It was, uh,
2:07
[SPEAKER_00]: It was far more laid back.
2:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you say, it's normally a production and I feel like this year it was less of a production and I needed that break and didn't know I needed that break till I got that break just like you said so
2:33
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not a production, it relax.
2:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So it worked out.
2:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and we had a, we called it two super bowls last week.
2:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you saw that.
2:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Two super bowls and one.
2:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Two super bowls and one week.
2:43
[SPEAKER_01]: What you gonna do this?
2:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, y'all didn't lose Sunday.
2:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, when y'all play?
2:47
[SPEAKER_01]: We play Sunday.
2:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, y'all didn't lose.
2:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And we won.
2:50
[SPEAKER_01]: y'all didn't move on, I guess we won't.
2:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I hear what you say.
2:55
[SPEAKER_01]: What I'm gonna do to it.
2:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Y'all did not lose that game.
2:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Mind you, y'all find that one y'all be in the Dallas Cowboys y'all.
3:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Y'all, y'all, they finally win two games in a row.
3:04
[SPEAKER_01]: You was about to have a worse record in us for all you talking.
3:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, for all the other tile on your record, and that would have made that would have gave us a better record.
3:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I would have lost six games, even though I don't want to talk about it.
3:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to talk about it.
3:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.
3:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to talk about it.
3:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.
3:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I don't want to talk.
3:20
[SPEAKER_00]: So, top of the top of the show.
3:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Get to like, share, subscribe.
3:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, I know y'all thought y'all's gonna get away from this.
3:28
[SPEAKER_01]: That way.
3:28
[SPEAKER_00]: This pops up in the bottom.
3:31
[SPEAKER_00]: But, however, I don't know if y'all know this, but my co-host isn't author.
3:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Y'all have seen this enough by now to where you shouldn't be surprised if you're new to the show.
3:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's your chance, this is your sign.
3:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, we even ran a special, where if you were a paid subscribe, remember, you could get access to the book.
3:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I was still doing that, is that still in the middle?
3:53
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll let it rock.
3:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So listen, we'll let it rock.
3:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Just to get you some insight, there's life prompts in here to help you to be a better father, better mother, better parent.
4:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And short and sweet, you know, some people, you know, you, there's novel readers and there's excerpt readers.
4:12
[SPEAKER_00]: This covers both.
4:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So you can, you can take it in chance.
4:15
[SPEAKER_00]: There's worksheets in the back to where you can actually apply some of the lessons being shared in this.
4:20
[SPEAKER_00]: That we've learned.
4:22
[SPEAKER_00]: You have a little bit in a slide.
4:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So as a little bit.
4:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Just wanted to put that out there.
4:26
[SPEAKER_01]: So why we're here?
4:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me button that up.
4:30
[SPEAKER_01]: The right way because I said we can let it right.
4:33
[SPEAKER_01]: 25, 25, hold five, thank you for the last time, the cowboys, we, I see what you did there.
4:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think it was even a no-five, but we're not gonna do that.
4:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I see what you did there.
4:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Anywho, yeah, I mean, go ahead.
4:50
[SPEAKER_01]: If you need me to drive, I know it's tough with you.
4:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I know it's true.
4:52
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
5:13
[SPEAKER_03]: It's the first to leave.
5:16
[SPEAKER_00]: The label is the first to leave.
5:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not gonna lead you on that.
5:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanna know exactly how you feel about it.
5:25
[SPEAKER_00]: He has no idea.
5:26
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not even what I'm talking about.
5:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's not even from the bank.
5:28
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's not.
5:29
[SPEAKER_00]: The label is the first to leave.
5:30
[SPEAKER_01]: The label is the first to leave.
5:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.
5:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.
5:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, first impression for me is who I've identified as improperly.
5:42
[SPEAKER_01]: has been the first thing to leave.
5:44
[SPEAKER_01]: It has well, should have been the first thing to leave.
5:47
[SPEAKER_01]: But in this transition where I am coming out of court for those that don't know coming out of court, not coming out of court, but now it's been three years.
5:53
[SPEAKER_01]: But being completely out of that and having to identify as a corporate leader, I was living by my labor.
6:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And I thought it impressed people.
6:06
[SPEAKER_01]: So the label is the first thing to leave when I'm seeing now,
6:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Circulate resumes is that because of my time out of office, I don't think they care about the label no more.
6:23
[SPEAKER_01]: So, so in that regard, the label...
6:29
[SPEAKER_01]: left because it doesn't seem to be in consideration and all of it could be that I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing and I just need to stay the course which this course is not going to change but you know I have moments where it's like am I with like brain labels who am I who am I today not to rehash the identity episode we have
6:53
[SPEAKER_00]: me, because there's going to be multiple layers and approaches to this topic today.
6:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Me, it's more of a action speak louder than words, meaning you can call yourself whatever you want.
7:08
[SPEAKER_00]: That part.
7:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But as I sit and watch your actions and what you're doing, is either going to reinforce that thing that you're calling yourself,
7:17
[SPEAKER_00]: or it's gonna let me know you're not that thing at all.
7:20
[SPEAKER_00]: It was only a label.
7:21
[SPEAKER_00]: It was only a label.
7:22
[SPEAKER_00]: So the label is the first to leave.
7:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So meaning, dig below the surface.
7:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Dig below the surface.
7:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And typically, we try to,
7:34
[SPEAKER_00]: maintain, we do, we do maintain, consistency with the platform.
7:39
[SPEAKER_00]: But we don't spill out into some other areas today as well because again, this is the help of our children.
7:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Excuse me.
7:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Our children are our children's.
7:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Our children are at multiple crossroads, man, like they're they're transitioning into real life, day by day as we speak.
7:57
[SPEAKER_01]: So from side note, please, the brain might be a star before he knows the brain is running on social media.
8:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't know if he's going to like that label.
8:10
[SPEAKER_00]: It charged me up yesterday, but I've been on the show.
8:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I got charged up yesterday, mobile kicked it off.
8:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, another label, so you keep saying we're going to be on the show.
8:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, Christmas break, whatever, I got a buffered at thing, we'll see, the label leaves first from a fatherly standpoint because we're gonna do the
8:36
[SPEAKER_00]: relationship approach the parenting approach and then I want to I want to speak on friendships and relationship in that that realm is very important and I had a couple of instances over the holiday of some some some friendship moments if you will you'll understand what I mean at a moment.
8:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So from a fatherless standpoint,
9:01
[SPEAKER_00]: We push, and this feeds off some comments next change I had with one of the viewers in the comment section.
9:10
[SPEAKER_00]: We were raised a certain way as children.
9:14
[SPEAKER_00]: So, whether you agree with the parenting style that you were exposed to or you disagreed with it, it either motivated you to be that type of parent, I'm gonna be the exact opposite of what the parenting style that I receive, I'm gonna be the opposite of that.
9:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
9:29
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the two options.
9:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So with that, we're striving to push our children to say, hey, go accomplish this, go be this, right?
9:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Are we focusing too much in your opinion?
9:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Are we focusing too much on a label, a career stamp label, to go be this, or are we actually inserting and implanting
10:01
[SPEAKER_00]: of who you are as a person, and your equality of work, be it entrepreneurship, be it in the work industry, you corporate, you white collar blue collar, are we focused on the labels, go be a doctor, go be an attorney, go be an electrician, go be a plumber, whatever those things are, do you feel we as parents are focusing more on the label of what you're going
10:30
[SPEAKER_00]: be mindful of your quality of work.
10:33
[SPEAKER_01]: That's good, man.
10:34
[SPEAKER_01]: That's, that's, I let him use me.
10:37
[SPEAKER_01]: You own one of me.
10:38
[SPEAKER_01]: You definitely own one of the day.
10:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And for me, I can say without much thought, without much, without much new thought, mm-hmm.
10:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't because I messed up other episodes before the several hundred go check them out.
10:56
[SPEAKER_01]: How my college journey went, like I took a recommendation from my father, which made sense because of what he saw, but we weren't necessarily having conversations about, like son of what are you passionate about, what are you, what do you want to be in life?
11:09
[SPEAKER_01]: He saw how I was doing a math and science and so engineering made sense and I'm like,
11:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, since I'm pretty good at it, let's capitalize on it.
11:17
[SPEAKER_01]: So it wasn't a fault of my father's.
11:21
[SPEAKER_01]: It was it was guidance based on what he understood and it wasn't like he was trying to tell me to be something that that he was or do something because he did it.
11:30
[SPEAKER_01]: It was he felt like that was the best I reached for me given my skill set.
11:36
[SPEAKER_01]: When I changed my major, he wasn't upset.
11:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, it was, it all the lungs want me at that point because, you know, my, my first semester was a, was a, was a curve fuffle point one for a GPA who don't tell me what and uh,
11:50
[SPEAKER_01]: My dad agreed that I should come on about that thing because I suggested he wasn't yanking me out I tried to play him and he was like nah, you you right, right if you don't want to do the work Go to work Go do some physical labor.
12:04
[SPEAKER_01]: So I've never pressured my kids to be that book But as you were saying it what I was thinking about when you when you use the analogy of the label
12:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I gotta be mindful to not slap the wrong label on an even in my, not making them be a thing.
12:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
12:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Like bread and cookies have similar ingredients.
12:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Boy.
12:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey.
12:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey.
12:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Basing ingredients.
12:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
12:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
12:31
[SPEAKER_01]: But if you mix the labels up, somebody's gonna be upset because that's not exactly what they were trying to get if that makes sense.
12:38
[SPEAKER_01]: That does.
12:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So, so, well, my mind went was, okay, what are the actual ingredients?
12:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, what are the ingredients where they're strong in this?
12:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, because cookies might need more sugar, then bring it, certainly.
12:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Both make sense, right?
12:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Both can be staples in a household.
12:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't come to me with that.
12:56
[SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, like, both of them have a place in the diet.
12:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
13:00
[SPEAKER_01]: But when you need one or one, you don't want the other one such the two to four.
13:04
[SPEAKER_01]: So I need to be more mindful of what they're pretty good at this.
13:11
[SPEAKER_01]: But how does that rank in terms of all the things that they're good at?
13:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And how do any of these things work together?
13:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Are they good at this one thing, good at this other thing?
13:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there a marriage between those two things?
13:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Would they still feel accomplished and still feel some sense of achieving or having a life that they want, you know, tapping into their creativity and their
13:36
[SPEAKER_01]: and their intelligence, like, what does that look like?
13:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And that that's what's going through my mind right now is like, man, I know what I see and sometimes certain things that I see, I get more excited about.
13:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And then that may start to me shifting the shape and hey, you should go do that.
13:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Was like, well, I just like this thing right now.
13:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I said, as you said, I like this thing right now.
14:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, because that the thought I'm having as I'm listening to you is, and I think I'm even guilty of it, I've done it.
14:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I know I've done it with my son, that's would be.
14:12
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have to be mindful and careful as parents
14:20
[SPEAKER_00]: and perhaps that's not your child's thing.
14:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
14:23
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's say for instance, you have an artistic child.
14:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be able to create, I want to paint, I want to do music, I want to do the arts.
14:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm very, very good at it.
14:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gifted and I can make an absolute wonderful life for myself and my family.
14:40
[SPEAKER_00]: There's highly successful artists in the world that do far better than perhaps some of the best physicians you could name, it's debatable with what you call successful.
14:52
[SPEAKER_00]: So, let's say for instance, you have an artistic child or artistic artist, you're not all artistic artists a musician, a painter, a sculptor, and they're very, very good at exceptionally well, give it even, but because they always hear the parents say,
15:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Dr. Lawyer, you need to be an attorney, you need to be a doctor, you need to be an electrician, you need to be an engineer.
15:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So because they hear that reverence that the parent has for these other things that are outside of their gifts, their talents, now they feel, possibly,
15:30
[SPEAKER_00]: undervalued.
15:31
[SPEAKER_00]: This thing that I'm interested in is more of a hobby.
15:34
[SPEAKER_00]: My parents say that's not going to put food on the table.
15:38
[SPEAKER_00]: That's always the focus.
15:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that going to sustain you in your family?
15:41
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a label.
15:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Even that is a label.
15:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Sustainability.
15:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
15:48
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a very viable thing.
15:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I've even had the conversation with mine.
15:52
[SPEAKER_00]: If you love something and perhaps it's
15:59
[SPEAKER_00]: use the other field to fund this other thing until it takes off, and then you fire this thing and hire this thing.
16:07
[SPEAKER_00]: So hey, perhaps you do want to be a musician and music isn't taken off for you right now, and you have an opportunity to be an engineer.
16:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Knock it out.
16:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And now you live off of that.
16:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying that, I don't want you to feel like I'm, tell you, can you just throw everything away and move in a van and go make it, right?
16:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Stop what I'm suggesting at all.
16:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to make us as parents be more mindful of the conversations we're having that when we do present this, careful not to shun their gifts, their abilities and their interests for trying to steer them to these other quote-unquote money-making industries.
16:42
[SPEAKER_00]: See what I mean?
16:43
[SPEAKER_00]: So now it's okay.
16:47
[SPEAKER_00]: that you love that and you're great at that.
16:48
[SPEAKER_00]: It's more than okay.
16:49
[SPEAKER_00]: That's wonderful.
16:50
[SPEAKER_00]: That's exceptional.
16:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Create a plan, but in the creation of that plan, we sometimes feel like they can only do one thing.
16:58
[SPEAKER_00]: There's this or that.
17:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
17:00
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not of this or that.
17:02
[SPEAKER_00]: It's these.
17:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And you just have to be mindful of how you explain the importance of sustainability.
17:08
[SPEAKER_00]: What you think about that?
17:10
[SPEAKER_01]: One thing that jumped out of me was that the be careful not to suggest that what they love is not going to provide a life for them or challenging that I think it is important to challenge even even the thing that you're talking about as a parent you should be able to defend it right because you can't just say it will be a doctor and you know like you
17:35
[SPEAKER_01]: positions and career fields aren't necessarily making as much as one may think right so it's not it's never all about that but as you challenge the child be prepared to actually say hey this is this is what I believe it looks like this would look like the day his way may be trending why I'm suggesting this but the other important thing is be careful which are not saying.
17:56
[SPEAKER_01]: right and be careful with your not giving attention because you might not say hey man put that violin down hey man that guitar ain't going that guitar you know which is going to struggle in the club like you might not be that that that forward with with the disdain or or suggesting that it's not a viable way of life
18:15
[SPEAKER_01]: But maybe you only talk about their math and science tests and you never show up or you never poke your head and they run when they, when they strumming on that guitar or when they pain or when they draw it up.
18:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And they come short to you and they're happy, you're like, okay, but when they show you the math test, right?
18:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Now you're excited that you want to look at, why, but you got that 98, what was the other two?
18:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Talk about me, because why get that close to 100?
18:40
[SPEAKER_01]: But uh, but like it is those those signs, those cues where they may not necessarily stop doing what they love, but they may recognize that you don't care about it, right?
18:52
[SPEAKER_01]: That you don't find it important.
18:54
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't care that it's important to them.
18:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
18:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Because again, it's not about you picking up the guitar on to and learn how to play it.
18:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
19:00
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, hi, it's like, like, like Donovan that I'm talking to me right now because
19:05
[SPEAKER_01]: when he's not at work of school because he's got to get there and break it.
19:09
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what people are going to want to be there every time the door is open.
19:12
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
19:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And like he was playing his guitar the other day and I'm recognizing the song.
19:19
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like I.
19:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's something that I would like I would do that on the keyboard.
19:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I used to play around with sequins.
19:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me make this beat.
19:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me do this thing like that was my thing, yes.
19:29
[SPEAKER_01]: But it was never like telling my parent, oh, look at this.
19:33
[SPEAKER_01]: It was just my thing.
19:34
[SPEAKER_01]: That I did with my headphones.
19:36
[SPEAKER_01]: But he has the allow sit down at the piano and pick stuff out.
19:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, man, but with the guitar is to me as exceptional because it's not plucking keys.
19:45
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like core progression.
19:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And I played the guitar.
19:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't great at it.
19:49
[SPEAKER_01]: But I said, lessons.
19:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, wait, hold on.
19:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know that song.
19:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what's all that is and he's just figuring it out So it is like again talking to me like I need to be more as much as I am What did you learn the school today?
20:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, how do you figure that out right?
20:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that something like is that your outlet right now?
20:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Because it could be that it could just be an outlet and even if it's an outlet It's important because I ran through my career
20:19
[SPEAKER_01]: to end the formal career that I was in and not knowing what I like to do.
20:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I wish a thing, Matt, Burt, figure stuff out, solution.
20:28
[SPEAKER_01]: This was a solution.
20:29
[SPEAKER_01]: So, solution review other people work.
20:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm gonna get it.
20:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Damn.
20:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, what do you, what do you do?
20:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know.
20:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't want my children to ever lose the the importance of an outlet, even if it doesn't turn into a lifestyle.
20:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Transitions right into to portion two if you will.
20:52
[SPEAKER_00]: That's enough.
20:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Try to and I'm talking to me try to Not be so focused on label to where my sons they don't know themselves like if I walk up to you and say What's your favorite blank?
21:13
[SPEAKER_00]: If your child has to say um
21:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm having conversations right now with my children about know yourself.
21:25
[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard for a person to tell you who you are, if you know who you are.
21:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you don't know that you like something or don't like something, someone could possibly convince you into liking something you do not like.
21:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And now you three times in figuring out, I don't really like this at all.
21:40
[SPEAKER_00]: This is not me.
21:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So whatever that is,
21:44
[SPEAKER_00]: focus on that now, and backfired of not asking me, and imagine if I don't have an answer to a question.
21:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Sabor.
21:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I just had to throw that out there.
21:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, I was really going with it, he is label at a very, very, very intriguing conversation with a brother recently, man.
22:07
[SPEAKER_00]: What he revealed to me is a common thread, not to betray any trust about the discussion or anything like that.
22:14
[SPEAKER_00]: But I felt like it was such a hard, felt conversation that it's worthy of mentioned and because who knows who's dealing with the same, right?
22:24
[SPEAKER_00]: People, and I'm a man, so I'm gonna speak from a male perspective, not to leave women out, they deal with the same thing, and you'll know what I mean in a second.
22:36
[SPEAKER_00]: If we are trained or coming to the realization of, I'm a provider, this is what I do.
22:44
[SPEAKER_00]: If anything happens to where I'm no longer the provider,
22:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Imagine now what happens if that was my existence.
22:51
[SPEAKER_00]: My label.
22:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel worthless.
22:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel attacked.
22:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel what no But but see but you see what I mean That's we info and it's not even the conversation you and I had this.
23:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know another you know what I mean So because if this is what's what the expectation is for my role my label And it's removed for whatever reason.
23:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm in a transitional period.
23:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing something else Just time for me to
23:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Retire from this and do this.
23:16
[SPEAKER_00]: It's time for me to invest in this business because this business is folding or this one I sold it now Whatever the case is of the scenario is Perhaps there's a window of Transition to where I'm no longer that label so if I built my entire life and existence of this label and that's no longer it I run the risk of feeling worthless or feeling like a monon contributor so
23:45
[SPEAKER_00]: the dangers that's yet again how if a if an ice cube melts the surfaces the first to go the label is the first to leave the outside layer once peeled away onions I don't care anything you think about with layers the outer layer goes first and a label is just that it's an outer label our outer layer so if we're focused on the core what's at the core of that thing
24:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna forget or get distracted from what's in my core.
24:21
[SPEAKER_00]: My core got me to that label.
24:23
[SPEAKER_00]: My core got me selected for that position that role that I thrive in for this amount of time.
24:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So if I lose sight of the value of that core, it's not so easy to melt that core.
24:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You can shave these layers off all day long.
24:37
[SPEAKER_00]: But when you, when you start to get to that core, that core still solid, which means I can rebuild my layers, I can make my layer look like whatever I need and I want it to look like in order to thrive in whatever situation I so choose.
24:51
[SPEAKER_00]: But if I forget that, then I don't focus on that.
24:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, my core is just as flimsy and weak and vulnerable as my outer layers are only because I lost focus of my core.
25:04
[SPEAKER_00]: You hear me?
25:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So now, with this conversation, that's what this brother is dealing with.
25:12
[SPEAKER_00]: He's terrified of his next chapter because his previous chapter is all he's known
25:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm capable of doing more or something different.
25:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I just don't know what that looks like.
25:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have a roadmap, so I took that opportunity to remind this brother.
25:35
[SPEAKER_00]: You didn't have a roadmap for that one.
25:37
[SPEAKER_00]: You just jumped out there because of a phase in life you were in.
25:42
[SPEAKER_00]: See that's the other thing.
25:43
[SPEAKER_00]: We get caught up in numbers.
25:45
[SPEAKER_00]: With at 40 something years old, man, I feel like I live the whole lifetime.
25:50
[SPEAKER_00]: If I knew then what I know now, but you do know now, and you're 40, and I'm using 40, I'm not 40.
25:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm older than 40.
25:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So at 40, if I feel like I live the lifetime, then I've made all these mistakes, you have to understand that zero through 18 doesn't really count.
26:10
[SPEAKER_00]: That was childhood and not a lesson.
26:12
[SPEAKER_00]: 18 to 30.
26:16
[SPEAKER_00]: That was your mistake, period.
26:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Typically.
26:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Typically.
26:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
26:20
[SPEAKER_00]: So now 30 to 40, find it in my way 40.
26:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what I want to do in life, but I'm 40.
26:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say you make another 40 though.
26:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And you make it to 80.
26:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So now you have 40 more, you feel like you've lived an entire lifetime at 40.
26:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Imagine another 40, and you do know now what you didn't know then, and you applied today, and your next 20 sets you up for the second 20.
26:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So 40 to 60, 40 to 50, 40 to 55.
26:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you imagine 15 years of what you know right now that you claim you lost in your first 40 years?
26:58
[SPEAKER_00]: That was just you learning yourself.
27:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, scratch that, you at Ground Zero.
27:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So now because you're at Ground Zero, and you do know what you know now, these next 15,
27:09
[SPEAKER_00]: you set for the rest of your life and you can apply that and you win.
27:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had to, I tried to remind the brother of that and he kind of was like me.
27:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think about it like that.
27:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't either until I was forced to.
27:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
27:23
[SPEAKER_01]: So when we were, yeah, I was a couple of responses to that.
27:28
[SPEAKER_01]: story in my life number one.
27:30
[SPEAKER_01]: You met me at the tail end of the high point.
27:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Now you rock with me through the valley as we as it starts the upswing and up to.
27:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And number one, what I will offer him, anybody like that, is probably not as bad as you're telling yourself it is.
27:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
27:52
[SPEAKER_01]: However, if you keep telling yourself it is that bad, it will absolutely be that bad.
27:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
28:00
[SPEAKER_01]: So while it's new and fresh, take that for a perspective of, I feel like this right now.
28:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
28:07
[SPEAKER_01]: If you make a whole lot of nouns for the next year, your every noun is feeling like this.
28:13
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it'll be harder to let go of, man.
28:15
[SPEAKER_01]: So I would offer that.
28:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Go go to your pair of mates.
28:19
[SPEAKER_01]: run through the range of emotions, but ultimately understand that it's not as bad as you're making it, and sometimes we try to do that as a safety mechanism because if we make it the worst when it actually happens, we think we'll be prepared for you, you're not.
28:33
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not.
28:35
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not.
28:36
[SPEAKER_01]: When you came in this morning, and I was sitting here,
28:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Not saying nothing, yeah.
28:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I was putting up a post that hit my, hit my spirit this morning about why I was this time last year.
28:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And what I was saying was, December came, my son's, my youngest son to be 11 Saturday.
28:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, December six, right?
28:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
28:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Christmas, emojis birthday, like all of that same month.
29:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was stressed out about what am I going to buy then that's going to wild them.
29:09
[SPEAKER_01]: literally some days and tears because I'm like, man, I have to fail, bro.
29:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, now on some, where it was weak, but I should even use that word.
29:18
[SPEAKER_01]: But like, just extreme disappointment in me.
29:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know that it was really tied to it.
29:24
[SPEAKER_01]: But I was like, extremely disappointed in me.
29:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm riding down the street.
29:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Just like, leak leak leak leak leak leak.
29:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:32
[SPEAKER_01]: frustrated.
29:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Then I get angry.
29:34
[SPEAKER_01]: But the post is morning was,
29:38
[SPEAKER_01]: What I missed in all of that was that, to tie to this conversation, I had given myself a label from my children that wasn't accurate.
29:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I was upset or feeling less than because I didn't think I would be able to provide my children a gift that was on par with what they know me is.
30:00
[SPEAKER_01]: My children don't give a gut during the podcast that ain't they thing, ever that ain't
30:06
[SPEAKER_01]: at it at ever like the the only expectation has increased is me out doing me because of what I thought I didn't get when I was younger and to be fully transparent I wanted to have a story at school because that reflects me.
30:22
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you uncover from this house and they talking about their gifts for two minutes and you well I got it.
30:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm lit and I believe I'm not the only one that has ever felt like that.
30:33
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm maybe, maybe something like that now.
30:34
[SPEAKER_01]: So I was, it hit me to put it out this morning because like you, you start thinking about all of the insane.
30:43
[SPEAKER_01]: With clarity, they're not the smartest things to do.
30:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Going to get that payday loan, going to find ass some stuff.
30:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I suppose it's typically fine ass and the thing means you can't afford the thing.
30:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, typically.
30:55
[SPEAKER_01]: That's their exception.
30:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, get it, the 1% I get.
30:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm investing.
30:58
[SPEAKER_01]: You all get an 18% of your 2% loan.
31:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I get, I'm sure.
31:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, miss me with all of that.
31:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm talking about people that don't have it figured out.
31:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Every day life, that think they do.
31:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
31:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And think this is the way because this is what they've seen or what they've been used to.
31:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Ultimately, I'm saying,
31:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Take the stress off yourself now, you're gonna crash the rest of the month out.
31:17
[SPEAKER_01]: for what typically amounts to a 30 minute period or 15 minute period, whenever they come downstairs, a comment to the room where the gifts are, when they feel like it, to open it and be just as thankful as they were before and over it, January 1.
31:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And if they're not check yourself for some other parenting misses because that's probably more of a you thing than actual gifts.
31:42
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's like it's it's really easy.
31:45
[SPEAKER_01]: So attach yourself to who you were, knowing you need to become somebody else.
31:50
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a fact.
31:51
[SPEAKER_01]: But who you were is more recognizable.
31:54
[SPEAKER_01]: It's it, uh, it, you believe it has more value because you fall asleep, play so much value on that thing.
32:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Did it?
32:02
[SPEAKER_00]: It, it, it,
32:03
[SPEAKER_00]: The things we convince ourselves of that has nothing to do with anybody else, but we base it on everybody else is my unblorn.
32:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And I say, we, I'm in the number, right?
32:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm certain there's plenty of things I do that have nothing, if I removed every person on the planet, what I still do that thing, no, some things I'm certain I would not do.
32:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, what I care about the thing, what I care, what I even care, right?
32:30
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
32:32
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
32:33
[SPEAKER_00]: that, we self create these prisons for us here.
32:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And before we know what we're serving sentences that has nothing to do with nobody else, the people that we're trying to impress or convince or provide for, or the main ones trying to let us off to look like.
32:52
[SPEAKER_00]: You good?
32:53
[SPEAKER_00]: What's wrong with you?
32:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you doing that?
32:55
[SPEAKER_00]: The key is inside with you, and then it unlocks from the inside.
32:57
[SPEAKER_00]: From the inside, open the door.
32:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Open the door.
33:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
33:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So, leading that into the, the friendship portion.
33:06
[SPEAKER_00]: There was a, I told you, man, I'm the crash-out king, twin-extend.
33:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't blow that out of it.
33:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a white-ing, you know, that crash-out.
33:15
[SPEAKER_00]: It don't matter.
33:15
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
33:16
[SPEAKER_00]: They really don't.
33:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I am a,
33:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a certain type of friend to a fault.
33:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a certain type of an infill in that blank friend, husband, brother, uncle, dad.
33:33
[SPEAKER_00]: If I love you, care about you.
33:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm, you can't, people can't play with you in front of me.
33:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Mind you, what I perceive to be playing played with.
33:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So, context doesn't matter.
33:48
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it does not.
33:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Only mine.
33:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you can't, you can't come to me.
33:53
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're in a spot like a niece, a niece can't come to me in a spot with her boyfriend.
33:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And tell me, he wronged her really, really badly.
34:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And now, I know that.
34:07
[SPEAKER_00]: This show boo again.
34:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Not here.
34:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like him right now.
34:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not, I'm not Jewish man.
34:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just being honest here.
34:14
[SPEAKER_00]: You just messed it up for cause.
34:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like this boy.
34:16
[SPEAKER_00]: No more money.
34:17
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't come over.
34:18
[SPEAKER_00]: You deal with.
34:19
[SPEAKER_03]: I got that call.
34:23
[SPEAKER_03]: Think.
34:24
[SPEAKER_03]: They have to Thanksgiving.
34:26
[SPEAKER_03]: Sometime sometime last.
34:28
[SPEAKER_03]: It might have been Saturday.
34:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Within the last couple of weeks, one of my partners who share a main name this, but if you go back to my episode Call me and say hey, how far are you from so or so does a city?
34:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was like I put out like 30 miles you can be an area He's like nah my my little cousin I did was I'm not going to hit instantly.
34:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like cat well
34:56
[SPEAKER_01]: That's gold.
34:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, let's go with it.
34:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you know what I'm saying?
35:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's go to it.
35:02
[SPEAKER_01]: He was like, stand by and I'm like, you're dead.
35:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I mean, yeah.
35:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you can't, you can't like, ultimately, like, ultimately, I guess it worked itself out because it never pulled out.
35:15
[SPEAKER_01]: about to say something.
35:16
[SPEAKER_01]: You never said anything else about it, but he was, but he was trying to figure out proximity because he, like, he thought that was, and the same thing with him, like, you can't call him.
35:24
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't, because now, but that's another point.
35:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, the way my circle worked.
35:30
[SPEAKER_01]: At this point, if you're calling me, you've already thought, do everything.
35:35
[SPEAKER_01]: You're better that that has to do with me.
35:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right, you better.
35:38
[SPEAKER_01]: You better definitely final chance,
35:45
[SPEAKER_01]: the dominoes that it creates might mean I have to tap somebody else, but that's how the certain like we have that level of like if you call me and say, you know, we got it right, which that's not even the nature of anything, right?
36:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Because it's so not the nature of anything like are you outside of you?
36:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I need to I got where are we getting in the car together?
36:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Like is that kind of thing?
36:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's not promoting anything or trying to be tough guys, but that's just to the you can't like it's
36:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I know my circle well enough to know that.
36:19
[SPEAKER_01]: If I say, Jay, I got a problem.
36:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I know what other problem it could cause for you.
36:24
[SPEAKER_01]: So for me to say that it's absolutely.
36:27
[SPEAKER_01]: At the very least, I'm saying, I'm giving a reference to the last person I talked to.
36:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Because here we go.
36:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that.
36:35
[SPEAKER_01]: So what we got, yeah, you see what I mean, don't want this people.
36:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't, don't miss on the stage.
36:41
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no.
36:41
[SPEAKER_01]: We're not going.
36:42
[SPEAKER_01]: No, say, what's playing with somebody in the family, you can't.
36:46
[SPEAKER_00]: That's an indictment.
36:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I, now look at you.
36:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
36:49
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
36:51
[SPEAKER_00]: So two,
36:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to say this, I know a lot of, they're going to be in a feeling as in the comments, but I don't care, women are typically, they are women that exist, they are women typically are better at communicating their feelings and emotions about a situation.
37:16
[SPEAKER_01]: your experience with the women that you know and is that they are better experienced.
37:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
37:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for that that because you know how that my verb is he John's translate.
37:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey John.
37:27
[SPEAKER_00]: So with that being said, two women I care about a lot.
37:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I like like I I know a lot is childish, but I don't care.
37:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I like to talk to with an entire audience can understand what I'm saying.
37:40
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot I love these two women.
37:47
[SPEAKER_03]: a situation developed that was worthy of conversation, outside looking in, men saw pieces
38:13
[SPEAKER_00]: about it tracking you know you're feeling yeah so it became defensive about it um... because you know you're finding yourself in a yeah my love one could perhaps misstep yeah but not too much on my love one you can't you know that we so it could it could that could go either way to where now because men are made how men are made
38:41
[SPEAKER_00]: It don't just get swept onto the rug immediately, like there's literally a conversation has to be had in the men's mind, whereas the women, it turns more into, that's on pause.
38:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, is everybody good?
38:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what's going on here?
38:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody good.
38:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, y'all good, you know what I mean?
39:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So now, and I'm trying to be ambiguous intentionally about it.
39:12
[SPEAKER_00]: stay out of the way, offer your support to your loved one, and sometimes just be a listening ear.
39:22
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't always need, and this is man to woman woman to man now.
39:30
[SPEAKER_00]: they don't always need our feedback, they don't always need our interjection, they don't need our reaction.
39:37
[SPEAKER_00]: So because of that, you don't want to discourage your loved ones from, I can't take this to Uncle James because if I go say something to him, it's on gomo, even a burn the barn down.
39:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Be careful of that being your image with your loved ones because you will absolutely be the
39:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm saying it's about me.
39:59
[SPEAKER_00]: This was my energy recently about something that hindsight, I don't want to say I'll overreact it.
40:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I should have practiced what I've been saying on the platform because it's a daily exercise to try to get better and do better.
40:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I should have been slower to react.
40:21
[SPEAKER_00]: It flamed me up immediately and I was, nah, nah, nah, nah, well, hold on, nah.
40:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So, then another transgression took place, and it was really, nah.
40:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't amazing, it wasn't great, but it wasn't, it wasn't worthy, because of the reverence I have for the people involved.
40:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And the love that I have for the people involved,
40:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I should have just, it should have been an SMH.
40:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Just shake my head and let it roll.
40:52
[SPEAKER_00]: But because I made how I made, I allowed that to make me more boisterous and more active, and I was more vocal.
41:05
[SPEAKER_00]: then I'm proud of and should have not been as vocal about the situation as I was, I'm working on that.
41:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to get better at that.
41:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm too ready to defend those I love when sometimes they don't need my defense.
41:21
[SPEAKER_00]: They just need my moral support.
41:23
[SPEAKER_00]: so that they can continue to communicate with me and share things with me and bounce ideas off me.
41:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I can give you my insight of my opinion and it's just that they're not obligated to go react how I say it they should or even match my energy of reaction.
41:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to tone that down.
41:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sitting here thinking about what stories I'm not getting in my house because because of that a little off.
41:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember the conversation with my oldest that has learned me the most about myself as a dog.
42:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
42:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm thankful for it.
42:06
[SPEAKER_01]: But like be careful how you, number one, be careful what you contribute to the situation.
42:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
42:15
[SPEAKER_01]: If a man puts his hands on you,
42:19
[SPEAKER_01]: is under the jail for me, period, right?
42:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you can tell me that, right?
42:24
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
42:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I would hate to be under the jail and find out that you provoked it.
42:29
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not that it's ever right.
42:33
[SPEAKER_01]: But if you, if you hide headed and provoking a situation and that you big and bad and you swinging, people swinging back nationally, right?
42:50
[SPEAKER_01]: No, that's bad.
42:50
[SPEAKER_01]: It's never the right option.
42:53
[SPEAKER_01]: No, for either person.
42:55
[SPEAKER_01]: It's never the right option.
42:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Be clear about that.
42:58
[SPEAKER_01]: My point is be responsible for your contributions to it.
43:05
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
43:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Also be mindful of how you tell me the story.
43:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Emotionally in anger mode so diverse and think right and I'm not saying you you can't have emotions But I'm like and this is as an adult.
43:23
[SPEAKER_01]: This is not 14 15 with you still we're talking.
43:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm still maturing the day Don't set up the conversation for me to feel how you feel Just because you want some support in that energy.
43:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
43:37
[SPEAKER_00]: That's important And even double back after I know Chris out
43:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a craze out because you built me on the craze.
43:46
[SPEAKER_00]: My lack of intelligence and emotional maturity in the situation.
43:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Trying to work on it.
43:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm working on it to this day.
43:52
[SPEAKER_00]: In 2025, won in 2006.
43:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Valet.
43:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, extremely valet.
43:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Not that you need my validation.
43:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but just as a father period that wants to protect.
44:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
44:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you.
44:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care, I don't care what you were built like or what your lens of, well, I don't know people that differ in that opinion, right?
44:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure they exist, right?
44:13
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's just like, yeah, be, be, just be, be careful how you, how you energize the story when it comes to me.
44:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Cause I'm gonna do my best to understand what part you play in it?
44:29
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're so worked up about what happened that you can't eat like it, there's not many options.
44:36
[SPEAKER_01]: No, don't fire me up.
44:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't fire me up.
44:40
[SPEAKER_00]: There's not many options.
44:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause I'm gonna try to talk sensibly like, yeah, what happened?
44:44
[SPEAKER_00]: How did y'all get here?
44:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna try to get a quick little background.
44:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, don't look, yeah, be carefully.
44:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, what you got on the wrap up with the people, man, as we're in this season, if you choose to celebrate,
45:01
[SPEAKER_01]: take the burden out of it.
45:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
45:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
45:03
[SPEAKER_01]: This is this is not a competition for you against your childhood.
45:09
[SPEAKER_01]: It is not a competition for you against other parents or even people in your circle.
45:14
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, a circle doesn't mean everybody's doing as well as everybody else.
45:19
[SPEAKER_01]: So don't get
45:25
[SPEAKER_01]: or if you don't even believe that that's the thing to do.
45:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm learning that I'm like, but I really haven't had a handle on Christmas outside of it and not being an actual birthday, I cool.
45:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm talking about whatever value that I can control in terms of how my family looks at it.
45:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I've sucked at it.
45:46
[SPEAKER_01]: It's been a big excuse for me to go crazy.
45:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, they were, I know they didn't play with they are.
45:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm about to say, say, a genesis.
45:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to go that way.
45:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Down back when the cowboys won't see how I did that.
46:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Go ahead, I don't want to know.
46:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you really making this a thing.
46:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you really being not told me all of my game.
46:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Get me completely all my square with that brown coopie.
46:13
[SPEAKER_01]: People film the people film me.
46:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Go on, go on and your little show.
46:23
[SPEAKER_00]: The guy, the cowboy was one when the second genesis was out guys, but listen, valet point, valet work, pay attention to the high notes, all of them.
46:36
[SPEAKER_00]: She took her.
46:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
46:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So watch the edit.
46:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Watch the God.
46:44
[SPEAKER_00]: So listen continue to support listen I do want to say that though like thank you Thank you.
46:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
46:48
[SPEAKER_00]: This the support that we have coming in.
46:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey milestone.
46:52
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not going to blow past this
46:55
[SPEAKER_00]: We hit our first reel that had a million views.
47:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
47:02
[SPEAKER_00]: We had a million, it's up to like 1.1.2 now, but one million views on the reel.
47:07
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a milestone over here, people.
47:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And especially because none of it is intended to do that and the type of content that we put out, no, anything that you see me put out with anybody on the platform,
47:19
[SPEAKER_01]: doesn't typically go on at that type of, they don't allow it, like it, it doesn't get sure, like I should say that.
47:26
[SPEAKER_01]: What else?
47:27
[SPEAKER_01]: It typically doesn't get traction like that.
47:28
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're not already a large platform, so it has something that was done with the right intent, yeah, connect, that's what I see because I tell you what, I don't know the recipe.
47:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Because there's 1.1 million if you go to the left, you'll see 800.
47:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's, I mean, it's like generally get more views.
47:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
47:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's the importance of it.
47:53
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's, you know, that's, I didn't, we're not labeled, we're not labeled by virality.
48:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not even that that's not the intent.
48:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
48:03
[SPEAKER_00]: We are living how loud on camera learning how loud.
48:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Continue to support, continue to like, share, subscribe, follow.
48:13
[SPEAKER_00]: We're on multiple multiple platforms.
48:15
[SPEAKER_00]: All of all of them.
48:17
[SPEAKER_00]: You name it.
48:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever you use as a podcast or a show or streaming.
48:22
[SPEAKER_00]: We there.
48:23
[SPEAKER_00]: There we go.
48:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Just on network.
48:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Did there's something to show?
48:29
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a podcast.
48:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't find this.
48:33
[SPEAKER_00]: We appreciate the support and the love piece.
48:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna say something about the love.
48:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, cause I know you all have been looking the whole time.
48:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Just want to get your love.
48:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, poor.
48:42
[SPEAKER_01]: The black on black.
48:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Black on black.