Latest / Looking Into / Episode 10: Pdx Pride, Parenting, and the Pandemic

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Episode 10: Pdx Pride, Parenting, and the Pandemic · Looking Into

0:12
But Caleb, I'm not mad at him cleaning the studio because the
0:16
studio, I mean, you saw it in the background.
0:19
It's been. I saw nothing.
0:20
OK, It's been a very well utilized space and it's been a
0:25
little chaotic. So Brandon when he hyper focuses
0:29
on something you know he locks in so it it is clean ish right
0:36
now. But the fact that he changed the
0:38
angles on everything is really throwing me.
0:40
I don't know what to do with my face.
0:41
This is not what my face usually looks like when we talk.
0:45
But it's a beautiful face, all right, and a beautiful studio.
0:49
OK, well, obsessed. I'm obsessed.
0:51
I am more beautiful than the studio, though.
0:53
You have to be like, of course, OK.
0:55
Yeah, Yeah. Well, hierarchy, I said.
0:57
Beautiful face first, most important.
1:00
OK, and then beautiful. Studio.
1:01
All right, I'll allow it. I'll allow it.
1:03
Yeah. Well, on that note, let's get
1:04
started. This beautiful face is gonna
1:07
introduce this beautiful podcast, ladies and gentlemen.
1:13
I don't know what I was going to say there, ladies and gentlemen,
1:15
girls and gays, listeners everywhere.
1:19
You are listening to Looking Into, which is the podcast where
1:22
two good friends talk about pop culture, queer culture, and the
1:25
lived human experience. We are committed to bringing
1:28
curiosity and passion to the subjects that interest us in the
1:31
hopes that they might also interest you.
1:33
But Subhead, we're going to talk what we're going to talk about,
1:36
and we're gonna say what we wanna play.
1:38
And then? Period.
1:39
That period with AT period. OK, My name is Heidi and I'm one
1:43
of your hosts. And I am Caleb, and I am another
1:48
host. You are you are you just gonna
1:53
commit to that? You're never gonna get off of
1:55
the another. Commit to the bit, baby.
1:58
I don't. Commit to the bit all.
1:59
Right. I'm gonna commit to that about
2:01
the same way that I commit to romantic relationships,
2:05
professional partnerships, you know, until I'm over them.
2:08
And then, you know, we'll see. OK, well I know my face got
2:15
really scrunchy because this professional partnership does
2:18
not like such an open handed commitment, you polyamorous
2:21
slut. Right now I say that with
2:24
affection. No degradation, unless you're
2:27
into that. Unless you're into it.
2:28
Yeah. Yeah, my influence.
2:35
I mean, you are in lots of professional partnerships, so I
2:37
guess I am part of your polycule, right?
2:39
Yeah, absolutely. And it's a beautiful polycule.
2:42
And honestly, probably my professional partnerships are
2:45
the safest, unless unless they're toxic, in which case
2:50
I'll cut them off. And I do that.
2:52
And I did that this year to a few people.
2:54
But you know. Who you are?
2:55
Me, but not me. They're probably watching.
2:59
Cheers to my haters. I know.
3:00
Well, gosh, the eye contact that Caleb just made at the camera
3:03
when he said you know who you are, like gave me chills down my
3:06
spine. And I'm really committed to not
3:08
ever being on the receiving end of that look because damn, it is
3:12
like, whoa. Frigid cold.
3:14
Yeah. Nothing.
3:16
Fireworks, baby. Burning that shit away.
3:17
Let's go. Let's go.
3:20
OK, my love, what have you been looking into this week?
3:22
And it's OK if it's not anything that's new content.
3:25
I know you've been busy. Portland Pride is this weekend.
3:27
Let's go. Oh my goodness, yes, it's been
3:29
Portland pride. I don't know, I, I really
3:31
haven't looked into, I've been doing the work, you know, so I,
3:36
I haven't taken the time to step and look into anything
3:42
necessarily, but I have been doing the work of Portland
3:44
Pride. We're getting ready for the big
3:46
weekend. I hear all about it.
3:49
It's nice. It feels like, you know, as a
3:53
man, a male bodied man individual.
3:56
I don't have children, you know, I don't labor to have children,
4:03
but I do produce events and sometimes.
4:06
Where are you going with this? I feel it's this weird thing
4:11
like I've been pregnant with twins for for months 9 perhaps I
4:19
don't know, 6 maybe who knows when I start.
4:23
I don't, I couldn't tell you. I don't remember, but and then
4:27
Portland pride and Seattle Pride happen, you know, about a month
4:30
apart from each other, a little less than a month apart.
4:32
So it's like I had my first twin and the other one has just been
4:35
maybe in there. Yeah.
4:37
But most of the work is done by the time I get to Seattle Pride,
4:42
Like for Portland Pride, most of the work is done.
4:44
So we're really in the home stretch.
4:45
So it's a little bit of like this calm before the storm.
4:48
OK. We had, you know, a couple
4:54
scheduling things pop up. Sometimes people have to drop
4:56
out. Sometimes people have to drop
5:01
out and you know, things happen and so there's little things
5:07
like that and we're getting travel, accommodations and
5:09
whatever. Working with artists is such a
5:14
lovely, beautiful job that I do, and it can be.
5:22
Does it provide growth opportunities?
5:25
Oh baby, growth opportunities at all times.
5:28
I love a growth opportunity. They said that they talk about
5:30
that at Nordstrom. I learned about growth
5:33
opportunities from Nordstrom. Anyway, yeah, I've been working
5:38
on Portland Pride and it's we're almost there.
5:41
I'm excited to. We've got Deja Sky coming back.
5:44
We had her in Seattle and I just love that bitch.
5:47
She's so cool. What kind of an artist is Deja
5:50
Sky? She was on RuPaul's Drag Race,
5:55
RuPaul's Drag Race season 14 and All Stars 10.
5:59
And we met her last year. She came up for Portland Pride
6:03
and we just like hit it off. Just really hit her off.
6:07
Hit it off. Matthew and I hung out with her.
6:10
So then she's come back to Seattle a couple of times and
6:13
just like hung out with us and I just, she's like a great friend
6:17
now. Deja kicks ass so.
6:20
I love that. Is that common to have overlaps
6:22
between the artists from the two festivals or is there like I'm?
6:25
I'm so curious how they're similar and how they're
6:28
different. Yeah, I think there's a lot of
6:31
similarities and I, I think that's something that was in
6:35
like when Kendall and I came in to our joint roles.
6:42
She's been working on Seattle Pride for 20 years and she
6:49
brought me into Seattle Pride and then the Portland, the
6:52
organization for Portland Pride came to me.
6:56
Henry, a really close friend of mine, came to me and invited me
7:01
to work on booking the entertainment for Portland
7:03
Pride. So when I brought Kendall into
7:05
that and we just kind of created this like vision of a regional
7:11
community, which I'm like, it's not like it's a concept that has
7:14
never happened before, but it's really important to me that we
7:19
create this like pipeline and exchange of like artistry
7:24
between Portland and Seattle. It's two cities that I am in
7:26
love with. I love the Pacific Northwest.
7:29
I'm really passionate about this region and the art in this
7:33
region. And I think we have so much to
7:36
offer across the region. So getting an opportunity to
7:40
kind of share the artistry between the two cities I think
7:44
is really fucking cool. And yeah, there's a, there's a
7:48
lot of similarities in just like, you know, artistry and
7:53
these like cities that are really close to each other, but
7:55
there's some, there's some pretty big differences.
7:59
Like you had done block parties in Seattle, is that going to
8:02
feature heavily in the Portland Pride as well?
8:03
Or is that something that was unique to your SET Seattle
8:06
events this year? That's more unique to Seattle as
8:09
far as what I'm working on. Like they've got block parties
8:12
in Portland for sure, like across around the city, but I'm
8:16
just not working on any of them. I work specifically on the
8:19
Portland Pride Waterfront Festival, so I'll be done with
8:22
the waterfront all weekend. OK, OK.
8:25
It's a good weekend for that. The weather is fantastic.
8:28
Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun, yeah.
8:30
For your front screen though, I will be wearing my sunscreen and
8:34
I have a team of, I have a a sunscreen team and they just
8:37
follow me around and they make sure that I have sunscreen at
8:40
all times. Stop it.
8:41
I'm actually serious. Ohh my gosh.
8:44
Do they have other jobs or they groupies?
8:48
They have other jobs, but most of.
8:50
My water they have. I need to be hydrated in
8:54
sunscreen at all times. Oh my gosh.
8:57
Yeah, man. That is next level.
8:59
I have never. I can't imagine being in a spot
9:02
in my life where I have a sunscreen team.
9:03
But you're so fancy. I love that.
9:06
That's good. You got to look out for that,
9:07
though. That's important for your
9:08
health. You were in.
9:10
The waterfront for hours and hours and days and days.
9:12
Come on. Yeah, absolutely.
9:15
Well, and thank you shout out to the Pride Northwest team who
9:18
made sure that we have covered stages and covered and like air
9:23
conditioned trailers. By the way, Hello like hello
9:26
very. Fierce.
9:28
Very fierce. They really care about their
9:30
artists and, and not just their artists because there's a lot
9:34
more people like other than the people who are performing on
9:39
stage, there's a lot of people that are working their ass off
9:41
to make sure that a festival goes down.
9:44
You don't really think about the people behind the scenes and off
9:48
the stage. You, you know, those, those
9:50
stars that are on stage performing.
9:52
That's what people are generally coming to see.
9:54
But none of that happens without the sound tech off to the side
9:58
or the the liaison. That's like walking the artist,
10:02
you know, keeping an eye on the schedule, making sure the artist
10:05
has their granola bar and their, their Red Bull beforehand, you
10:09
know, or the transport team that's getting them from the
10:12
hotel to the to the stage. The person who's like, sweeping
10:17
the stage off because some, you know, some drag queen just
10:20
decided to RIP her her necklace and a dramatic reveal and now
10:25
there's beads everywhere. We can't have the dance crew go
10:29
on and Oh my. Gosh, yeah.
10:31
I mean it. Makes so much of the difference
10:32
between like the faces that go on a movie poster and then the
10:37
10 minutes of credits that roll by at the end of the film.
10:39
Yes. Yeah, exactly that.
10:41
Yeah, exactly. That the people that you see
10:43
performing are one part, but there's a whole team behind.
10:46
OK, I. Have two questions?
10:48
Yes, if you want. If somebody had never been to a
10:52
Pride festival before and they were going to go to Portland
10:55
Pride and this was their first experience with the Pride
10:58
Festival, what would you want them to know?
11:02
Like what? Would you say I would tell them
11:06
to come prepared to I would tell them to come curious, be
11:14
curious, be excited, be open to just experiencing queerness.
11:24
And it's like in its most beautiful and safe space, like
11:31
we, we spend so much time and effort and so many people come
11:36
together to create something. It actually has nothing to do
11:39
with the production. All the stages could go away,
11:42
all of the lights and the fences and all of the stuff, right,
11:46
could go away and there would still be thousands of people who
11:50
come together in one space. It this, you know, at a certain
11:55
time during pride on this weekend to come together and
11:58
celebrate what it is that makes us all really special and
12:03
beautiful. And I think that is the thing
12:05
that's most important about pride.
12:07
Come and find your community, find your people wherever they
12:11
are in there because there's so many different sub communities.
12:15
Find that. And just like soak up the love
12:19
that would be, that would be the number one thing that pride is
12:22
about for me. I love that.
12:25
I love that. Gosh, and I'm just thinking of
12:27
how, you know, there's lots of conversations about why do you
12:31
need a whole month? And you know, you can tell how
12:33
much I respect that point of view by the voice.
12:37
But I'm just thinking of how it's come up so frequently in
12:39
the conversations that you and I have had in this space about
12:43
how, how how difficult it is to find spaces that are safe for
12:50
queer people that aren't seedy or like risky.
12:57
Like you've talked about how like underground spaces where
13:02
there's lots of substance use and like that there's just a lot
13:04
of inherent risk with a lot of the spaces that have been
13:07
claimed by queer communities. And I think as I'm hearing you
13:10
talk about thousands of people on the waterfront, I just think
13:14
how beautiful it is. Everybody deserves a chance to
13:17
stand in the light and be seen and to be safe and to celebrate
13:21
exactly who they are. And I'm just so grateful that
13:25
these gatherings exist with the intention of providing just
13:29
that. So yeah.
13:31
Yeah, I don't. Know if I got that, if my
13:33
summary of what you said was accurate or not, but that's what
13:35
I'm hearing from what you're saying.
13:37
No, I think it is. And I, as you were saying it, I
13:39
was like, it is about like that opportunity for us to be in the
13:45
light because so often, like you said, queer spaces, like
13:49
queerness is part of a subculture.
13:51
Like we, we as queer people are told all of our lives that
13:55
we're, we're different. We're we're less than, we're not
13:58
the we're not the norm right at at best, we're not.
14:02
Something to hide? Yeah.
14:04
And so a lot of our culture is built around being in the
14:09
underground spaces, the secret spaces, the And that's our safe
14:13
space. We found safe space in there,
14:15
but to be out on the streets, in a parade, on the waterfront and
14:22
really getting to just out loud celebrate exactly who we are and
14:26
the beauty of what we're building in those secret spaces
14:29
as well, I think is is so important and so beautiful.
14:34
And that was something that always draw.
14:36
And it does. It draws young people to these
14:39
celebrations every year. It drew me there every year and
14:43
I remember coming there 151617 and feeling finally like I'd
14:52
found a place where I could belong.
14:55
And that is what kept me coming back year after year after year,
14:59
and has made it so important for me to be someone who's holding
15:03
the torch now and trying to make sure that the people who are
15:08
coming now, the kids who are coming now are getting to have a
15:10
moment of like really getting that same experience.
15:16
It's so beautiful. It like makes me feel so many
15:19
things that actually segued perfectly into my follow up
15:23
question, which was, you know, on the other end of the, the
15:27
flip side of that coin from somebody who might be coming to
15:29
pride for the first time, where you're encouraging, you know,
15:32
come with curiosity, come to see, come to learn.
15:35
I am curious what you would say to somebody who's been coming to
15:37
pride festivals for year after year after year after year.
15:40
It's been a long, I mean, no, I'm saying this without anything
15:44
negative at all, but it's been a long time since you were 15, so
15:47
it's. Been a long time.
15:48
Yeah, thank God. For real.
15:51
My gosh, none of us need to go back there.
15:54
Bless you teens, we love you so much, but you shouldn't be
15:56
listening to this podcast. Right.
15:58
Turn it off. Get out of here.
15:59
That he is on there for a reason and it's not because of the
16:02
letter that your name starts with.
16:03
You know who I'm talking to in me, You don't who has been like
16:09
this is a staple of their calendar year.
16:11
Is there anything that those attendees would need to know
16:13
about Portland Pride or something that's going to be
16:17
unique about this festival or just I don't know.
16:19
What would you say to that group?
16:23
Well, I would say same thing. Come and enjoy it live, live it
16:30
up, get in there, donate a donate at the gate because the
16:36
funding helps make it happen every year.
16:38
Like do what you can to get involved as well.
16:41
If you're continuing to come and you love what you see, get
16:45
involved in more than just comments online and whatever.
16:51
Like we, we love to see your comments, how you think a
16:53
comment is fierce, but getting involved in getting your hands
16:57
dirty is also really, really fierce.
17:00
And yeah, just go, take some time, go to the stages, enjoy
17:05
it, live it, live it up. And Beauty Boys will be putting
17:11
on a very special show at six PMI think.
17:19
Who knows when we're doing it at 6:00 PM on Saturday at the South
17:24
Stage under the Morrison Bridge. So there will be some very
17:29
exciting performances happening then.
17:31
But all day long, Saturday and Sunday, there will be
17:34
performances like music, drag dance, some ballroom showcases.
17:42
There's a clown in there somewhere.
17:45
No, thank you. Comedy show.
17:48
There's a comedy show at the North Stage, which I'm really
17:50
excited about. Yes, yes, I saw that and I
17:54
thought of you. Oh my heart.
17:56
And yeah. Thank you for thinking of me.
17:59
Of course. OK.
17:59
Is there a spot where people should go if they wanted to find
18:02
like where all the different events are?
18:03
Or like like is there a resource that you would point people to?
18:07
Yeah, I would go. That's such a good question.
18:11
I. Would he's gonna stall Only
18:13
googles right now. Why?
18:14
Don't you just go to portlandpride.org and maybe
18:17
it'll be there? Yeah, we're looking it up right
18:22
now. We're.
18:23
Hoping. Yeah, I think, I think I see
18:26
Portland pride.org as a beautiful place for you to go
18:29
and they may post the schedule. I don't typically have anything
18:35
to do with the marketing. And I'm putting you on the spot
18:39
with all of the. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:40
No, it's OK. Portland pride.org.
18:42
Yeah, I'll do that. Follow Pride Northwest on
18:46
Instagram. Yeah.
18:48
And on the socials, yeah, yeah. And you can also just show up on
18:50
the Portland waterfront, right? Period.
18:52
Yep. Saturday and Sunday.
18:53
Saturday and Sunday, Mama. So let's go.
18:57
And and be loud and queer every day of your life because that's
19:05
great. I love that.
19:07
OK, wait, though, because that makes me think of Hannah Gatsby.
19:09
And you have not watched her special yet, Nanette.
19:12
But in that special, she says, where did the quiet gaze go?
19:16
As far as her first experience with Pride, she was like, oh,
19:19
it's a bit shouty. These are my people.
19:21
Like I don't, it's like, I don't.
19:23
Where did the quiet gaze go? They have places.
19:28
Not on the Portland waterfront this weekend.
19:30
Honey, they have bookstores what are you talking about?
19:35
They have the library. The the lesbians own all the
19:38
libraries. Like I know that to be the fact.
19:41
So you can be quiet and queer. That's allowed to.
19:43
You don't. You absolutely can be quiet and
19:46
queer, but but when I say be loud and queer, I'm not talking
19:50
about volume. I'm just talking about presence.
19:54
Be present, be out there, be boldly who you are, and if that
20:00
means you're silent, that's OK too.
20:04
I won't be that, but that's OK too.
20:06
Well, that's not who you are. And I think the point of what
20:09
I'm hearing from you is that take up space unapologetically.
20:13
However, you are authentically and uniquely made to take up.
20:17
Space period. Exactly.
20:20
Amen. I love that.
20:21
How about you, Heidi? What have you been in looking
20:24
into on this fine, lovely week? Yeah.
20:29
Tell us. It's not, it's not a normal
20:31
looking into. I just, I have a story that I
20:32
need to share with you and I've been really, really looking
20:35
forward to telling you about it ever since, OK, Three AM, 4:00
20:39
AM Sunday to Monday when it happened, OK.
20:43
Wow. OK, so were you at a rave?
20:47
No, no, I'm going to start by giving you some good background
20:51
context. And that is one thing you need
20:54
to know about me is that I am a I'm an excellent vomiter, OK?
21:02
Me too, actually. And and I should just probably
21:07
give a disclaimer if anybody's going to listen to this and they
21:09
don't like stories about vomit, the next like 15 minutes is
21:12
definitely going to that's, that is the theme of my conversation.
21:15
OK. Great.
21:17
We are in my family, like super pukers is usually how I refer to
21:23
us. And it's, you know, that comes,
21:29
there's a lot that comes with that.
21:30
My younger brother Paul has this theory that at shout out point
21:33
in our yes, shout out Paul in our ancestral lineage, we were
21:37
part of a community that participated in like ritual and
21:41
regular poisonings and that we developed our ability to regurge
21:46
as like an adaptive survival strategy.
21:49
And that that's where it comes from because.
21:51
I love Paul his. Brain.
21:53
His brain is a beautiful, brilliant.
21:55
Yeah, what a beautiful, brilliant brain.
21:58
Yeah, he is truly the greatest we'll have to get.
22:00
We're gonna. Have to interview him, show it.
22:02
Something yes, Oh my gosh, great mind thinking like Paul, we love
22:06
you, we need you up in this space.
22:08
Anyway, so Paul's theory is that we have, you know, there's a
22:11
couple evolutionary adaptive strategies that my family has.
22:15
On one hand, we're vertically challenged.
22:17
Like in the event of a nuclear situation when we all have to go
22:20
underground, like, we're gonna be fine.
22:22
We don't even have to duck. We are close to the ground
22:24
already. But also, yeah, you can't poison
22:26
us because if we have an inkling of stress, we vomit, We have too
22:32
much alcohol. But it's like you experience a
22:36
lot of grief at a funeral front lawn, but you get headaches.
22:41
The pain's too bad. But like, we're just like, it's
22:44
it's just how we respond to life.
22:45
OK, this is years. OK.
22:47
And it's a family thing. This is like a family.
22:50
My mom doesn't do this, but the rest of us absolutely do.
22:52
OK. It's just, it's a situation.
22:55
Now shout out Dad. OK, Yeah.
22:57
Yeah, yeah, 2 drinks when my brother was in like, college and
23:03
he went for father's weekend and it was like, done, done.
23:06
OK, so funny. Now it's not just the frequency,
23:09
and this is important because this is like context you need to
23:12
know is that this is a frequent topic of conversation in my
23:15
household. OK, OK.
23:17
I did not realize like how excellent and enthusiastic are
23:23
the actual act was Intel COVID times when I got this text from
23:27
my beloved friend Megan Shout out to Megan Love.
23:31
And it was this group text where it was like she she had gotten
23:34
COVID and was like, I did not ask her permission to share the
23:37
story. I'm so sorry.
23:40
I had this friend. We're we're gonna beep her name
23:42
out. Well, just for kicks and
23:44
giggles, call that again. That's not her real name, My
23:48
bad. Anyway, she.
23:50
Was. Like, I have COVID.
23:52
I'm so sick. I've never been this sick
23:53
before. I'm so sick that I threw up and
23:55
it came out my nose and I was like, yeah, obviously that's
23:59
what happens when you throw up. And everybody in the group chat
24:02
had a very different response than I did.
24:04
They were all like, Oh my gosh, that's the worst.
24:06
I can't believe it. And I was like, wait, I'm sorry,
24:09
do you not throw up and have it come out your nose?
24:11
Because that's Riggs. That's like hole in front of my
24:14
face is spot for like it's a spout that's we throw up.
24:18
I'm going to blow my nose and like a lettuce leaf is coming
24:20
out of my sinus cavity. Like that's it's just part of
24:22
the experience. OK.
24:24
Yeah, absolutely. So then I was, I was so shocked
24:27
by this reality that I was like, I'm sorry, that's not
24:29
everybody's experience that now it's actually I'm like maybe an
24:35
intro question for me when I meet new people.
24:37
It's like, Caleb, when you throw up, does it come out your nose?
24:41
It does. That is actually, I mean, we're
24:44
not gonna get too sidetracked here, but that is the biggest
24:47
when I'm dreading, when I know I'm gonna throw up and I'm like
24:50
waiting for usually it's like an hour where I'm like, oh, it's
24:54
coming. And then I I'm like, it's the
24:57
coming out the nose part. It's the sign is burned, Yeah.
24:59
That's the part that I'm like, I can't do this.
25:01
The worst. The worst, OK, right.
25:04
So my, I'm not scared of vomit. It's just like, you know what,
25:09
this one of those things that when your body's like, hey, this
25:12
is what we're doing. You just got to receive it.
25:13
You can't find it. And you're like, OK, apparently
25:15
this is what we're doing right now.
25:17
I mean, maybe hypothetically in your late 30s, you do a lot of
25:21
therapy to figure out why you're stressed puking all the time.
25:23
But that's just, you know, besides the point.
25:26
Anyway, my family has had a couple bad runs with norovirus.
25:31
Oh OK and my my daughter in particular is terrified of
25:38
vomit. OK does not serve her well with
25:41
her genetic material. No.
25:43
Yes, and like my oh, I didn't mention this.
25:46
My son, if he doesn't have protein early enough in the
25:48
morning then he vomits like we give him.
25:53
We throw peanut. OK, Diva, we throw peanut.
25:55
Butter pretzels at him as soon as he wakes up.
25:57
We're like eaten protein. Good for him, he knows what he
26:00
wants and he's going to get it. He does his bodies, we our
26:03
bodies communicate so clearly, but he also gets car sick.
26:08
And so if he starts to feel like an inkling of illness and he's
26:11
like, uh oh, I'm not feeling well.
26:14
My daughter has a full on panic attack because she she can't him
26:20
getting sick because she has she when we had Noro, like it hit
26:25
her the hardest. It was the worst experience for
26:28
her. So something has now like
26:29
programmed. She has this like programmed
26:31
response in her nervous system where if there's a threat of
26:34
illness, she's shaking, crying, screaming.
26:39
Why not? I mean, yes, you can be very
26:41
empathetic, but you're not the one who's managing the meltdown
26:45
while the other one is vomiting on the side of the road.
26:47
So, like, give her all the empathy you want.
26:49
I would like it to go away. Yeah.
26:51
Anyway, OK. So Q Sunday night.
26:55
OK. Sunday night, I wake up at like
26:57
3:00 AM and I'm like, uh oh, something's off.
27:00
And then seconds later, my daughter runs into her room and
27:04
is like, mom, my stomach does not feel good.
27:06
And I was like, yeah, babe, mine either.
27:08
Like you get the front bathroom, I get the bath bathroom.
27:11
Let's go. We're in this.
27:12
And so we like had to divide and conquer.
27:16
And we were at 3:00 AM, three AM, middle of the night.
27:19
Boys were fine, but the girls in our house, like something was
27:22
off. And I'm like.
27:24
Well, misogyny's alive. That's.
27:25
I know whatever situation decided, come on.
27:29
Thank you. Thank you for being on my.
27:31
Listen. Whatever, it worked.
27:33
OK, here's what happened. So I had to take, I took care
27:36
of, you know, my business in the back bathroom.
27:39
And then I was like, after you, like after you expunge.
27:45
I don't know. I'm trying to make this
27:46
conversation less disgusting. I think I just need to commit to
27:48
it. OK, Now you that then it's like
27:53
there's usually a reprieve where you've got like a solid 30
27:56
minutes to an hour where there's like a refractory period before
27:59
your body and we're going again. OK.
28:01
Oh yeah, OK. Yeah, OK, so I'm like feeling
28:04
good now. Now it was, it was, it was
28:07
horrible. Like, as far as like the scale
28:09
of, you know, like pleasant experiences.
28:12
It was up there on the end of like, maybe one of the worst
28:15
like. OK. 2nd dinners I've ever had.
28:20
OK got it. OK, but anyway I'm dinners I
28:23
went to the. What was the dinner, can we ask?
28:25
Oh, it was homemade Mac and cheese and I was like so pissed.
28:29
I was like, this better not put me off my Mac and cheese.
28:31
I'm going to be so mad if I have a yeah and taste a version as a
28:34
result of this. So anyway I finished that and I
28:38
go to the front bathroom and Brandon's like hovering over
28:41
core who's shaking like like I mean shaking cuz she can feel it
28:47
coming her. Anxiety.
28:48
Like she's like convulsing, sitting in front of the toilet.
28:53
And I'm like, this is an opportunity because I can't
28:56
remember. We've never been sick at the
28:58
same time. Like it's always like I'm taking
29:01
care of her and trying to talk her down and she's the only one
29:04
experiencing it. But this was a unique
29:06
opportunity and I am so proud of my parenting in this instance.
29:11
And this is like a toot, toot my own horn.
29:13
I'm so proud of how this unfolded.
29:15
Cause yeah, in me at 3:00 AM was like, this is an opportunity for
29:18
me to model a different way to move through this and and to
29:22
maybe try to provide a different opportunity for her nervous
29:27
system response other than panic freak out.
29:30
Yeah. So I'm like, Brandon, I got
29:31
this. Go to bed.
29:33
So he goes back to bed. And I just was like, girl, we're
29:36
in this, let's go. And lay down on the floor next
29:40
to her and turned it into a game.
29:47
I mean, I just approached. I was so chill.
29:50
And she was like, mom, are you sick?
29:51
And I was like, yeah, it's real bad.
29:53
Like, don't worry, you and me, babe, we're in this.
29:56
We're gonna make this happen. But I started narrating the
30:00
experience as if we were like, we were sportscasters 'cause I
30:04
was like, honey, if this was the Olympics, like, you and me would
30:09
be pretty epic. Like, we would be an epic duo in
30:11
this activity. And she's like hovering over the
30:14
toilet bowl and she's like, there's a cat hair floating in
30:17
the toilet. Oh yeah.
30:20
And so I launched and did well, see if you can hit it when you.
30:23
I was like in tonight's in tonight's version of precision
30:29
puking, we have defending champion, a mother daughter duo
30:34
from Portland, OR stepping up to the plate.
30:36
Let's see what they can do. And she's like, well, it's
30:37
moving around the pool. And I was like, in an advanced
30:39
precision puking. She got into it too, Caleb, But
30:46
she was like. She's like, oh, that's so sweet.
30:50
So good. She was like, my hand is in.
30:52
She'd fallen off her bike earlier that day.
30:54
And she's like, oh, my hand hurts.
30:55
And I was like, and you know, this young lady, this competitor
30:58
is competing with an injury tonight.
30:59
We'll have to see how that impacts her technique.
31:02
And then at some point through the middle of it, a fucking
31:05
spider ran across me on the floor.
31:10
And I don't swear in front of my children in dire circumstances
31:13
like. Well this would count.
31:16
Shit. Like what is this this spider?
31:18
And Corbin goes, his name is Todd with 2D's and I was like,
31:23
he is our mascot. And then we just claimed the
31:26
spider as. Our mascot for.
31:27
A precision puking event. And we narrated it and we made
31:30
it through. And then we eventually kicked.
31:33
I was like, we're done here. Let's go to let's go to my
31:36
bedroom. We can lay down not on the floor
31:38
with Todd the spider and have access to our bathroom and
31:43
kicked Brandon to the couch. And then she and I settled in.
31:45
And you know what? When she woke up in the morning,
31:47
she was like, mom, that was really fun last night.
31:50
Oh, that's so that is so wholesome.
31:54
I what good parenting so. Freaking stoked.
31:57
I was like, this is maybe one of the best things I've ever done
31:59
as a yeah, yeah, she's freaking out, Loki having a panic attack.
32:03
And I'm like, it's disgusting, This is awful.
32:06
Let's go. And we made it so fun that and I
32:10
don't know, I'm just really pleased with how it turned out.
32:12
And especially because with her genetic legacy, man, like she's
32:17
got to get over this whole situation because it's.
32:20
Going to happen again. It's going to happen again and
32:22
it's going to be a ride for a long time and you can't fight
32:25
it. You have to receive it.
32:26
So you got to figure out how to do it in a way that's like not
32:29
going to break you. Wow, so I live.
32:32
That's crazy. What a what a thoughtful and
32:35
original way to make it through. Absolutely.
32:42
And let's just like let our ego and pride join the table because
32:46
like, I don't have very many skills, my friend, but like, if
32:49
I have them, I'm a Flexim. And let me tell you again,
32:52
genetically, evolutionarily, that's a new word.
32:55
I am excellent at this. So damn it, Like I'm gonna own
33:00
it. And we did.
33:01
We did. We defended our championship.
33:04
Did she hit the cat hair? She didn't actually end up
33:07
throwing up, Yeah. That's usually a tragedy.
33:13
I know man, cuz we were primed and ready to go.
33:15
But yeah, she was like, mom, do you think it's going to be a one
33:18
and done? And I was like, I sure freaking
33:20
hope so like yeah, let's go. But she just felt really ill and
33:25
she felt really funky all the next day too.
33:28
But she never ended up actually. Wow.
33:31
Needing to hit that cat here so that's.
33:33
Incredible. Did you puke again?
33:35
No, I was 1 and done babe. That's amazing.
33:38
Yeah, that's so good. Yeah, it was we handled it and
33:42
it I don't it was the most random thing, like I don't know
33:45
what it was, but but the fear is the mind killer, right?
33:49
That really is. We learned that from Dune and
33:52
that's man, when it comes to anxiety and it comes to worry
33:56
and it comes to our fight flight, freeze, fond response.
33:59
Logic does not often have a place at the table.
34:02
No honey. So we just had to invite, you
34:05
know, another guest to that adventure.
34:07
And our guest was fun and it happened and it worked.
34:10
That is really so fun. Yeah.
34:14
And it it is the the brain will do funny things to you.
34:17
So I bet that had a a a lot to do with being able to move
34:23
through it and not have the the pukeys.
34:25
That's that's what I thought. And if you know, she didn't, she
34:28
didn't continue shaking either. She was like, mom, I'm
34:32
distracted and I'm not shaking. And I was like, I didn't say
34:35
this, but I'm like, no shit. That's what I'm doing here,
34:38
girl. Let's go.
34:40
That's because your mother knows what she's doing.
34:42
Great. I'm crushing the game.
34:45
I love it. I love it 10 out of 10.
34:48
Thank you. Yeah, yeah.
34:51
And I didn't kill Todd, so you know what?
34:54
And, you know, and that's a throwback to last week.
34:56
Yeah. And previous weeks.
34:58
We you know, here at the Looking Into podcast, we don't kill
35:02
spiders. We don't.
35:03
Most of the time, no. We make them our mascots.
35:06
We make them our mascots. Yeah, Yeah.
35:10
So that's that. That's what I've been looking to
35:12
do is retraining my child's nervous system.
35:15
I. Love that and it's all better.
35:19
Yeah, well, we'll have to see the I mean, it'll be the rubber
35:22
will hit the road when it comes to like the next adventure.
35:24
The next time it happens, you should make Mac and cheese next
35:27
week. Gosh, no, I was no.
35:31
Me, I would I would make a great parent, but I am a horrible
35:35
person. Say more Why would you?
35:37
Why would you go back to the scene of the crime?
35:39
Why would you do that? Just just.
35:41
For I can giggles to. See, well, it's, you know,
35:43
market research. It's important to like, know,
35:47
you know, like get back into it, dig into those wounds, wow, See
35:52
if we're really healed, you know?
35:54
Wow, Yeah, wow. You know, I think I, I hear that
35:57
and I'm going to go ahead and take that and put it in the
36:02
recycling bin of my mind and make a different choice for
36:04
myself moving forward. And I love it.
36:07
And that's called autonomy. That's called agency.
36:11
That's called I'm. I'm driving this car, honey.
36:15
Yeah, I live. You would make a great parent.
36:20
I would one of the. One of the areas where I'm a
36:22
terrible parent is when I know my kids are safe but they're
36:29
scared. I think it's hilarious.
36:31
Oh, it's fucking great. It is like, like we went to
36:35
Disneyland and they were like almost pissing themselves when
36:38
they went through the Haunted Mansion.
36:39
They were oh really? And Brandon had to like
36:42
physically hold me back. Like we had to put them in the
36:46
cars with their grandmas because I was like, I was I wanted to
36:50
jump scare them because I was having so much fun.
36:52
I was like, this is amazing. He was like, what is wrong with
36:56
you? I was like, I legitimately don't
36:57
know. I don't know.
36:59
I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you.
37:01
Oh. My gosh, Caleb, when we when the
37:03
kids were babies, we were camping in the redwoods and they
37:07
were scared of bears because you know, bears.
37:11
And my daughter was, I don't know, maybe 5.
37:15
And we were like walking back through the campground and I
37:19
kept like pretending I was hearing a bear.
37:22
And I was like, oh, what is that?
37:24
What is that? And cackling.
37:27
I thought I was. So it was I was delighted by her
37:30
fear. And this five year old, this
37:32
kindergartner looks at me and says, mom, if you're the only
37:35
one laughing, it's not funny. It's not actually a joke.
37:40
And I was like, dude, I'm put in my place.
37:42
Yeah, I've got you together. How do you?
37:45
Yeah, she's a smart kid, man. Yeah.
37:48
That's funny. But I still have the hilarious.
37:53
That is so good, yeah. Yeah.
37:55
So that's that's, that's that on that.
37:57
That's my story of the week. All right, 10 out of 10
38:00
parenting. The antagonization of fears is
38:06
also fierce, so I'm going to keep it with the 10 out of.
38:08
It's not great. That's why we have Brandon
38:10
because it's like we know. It's like one of those things
38:12
that we know about me. Like one, I'm not allowed to
38:14
play board games with people we've known for less than a
38:16
year. OK, that's it.
38:18
Right, Right, because it could jeopardize the relationship.
38:22
It not could it will. I mean, it jeopardizes it when
38:24
they're already like really established because 0 Fucking
38:27
chill. I'm a nightmare, OK?
38:29
Sound off in the comments if you've played board games with
38:31
Heidi, we want to. Know don't actually you can keep
38:33
those stories to your. Tag us in your memories.
38:36
You can now follow us on Instagram looking into podcast
38:40
and if you have a story about playing a board game with Heidi,
38:44
feel free to tell us about. It they're honestly probably no
38:48
longer in my social circle and that's why.
38:51
We're gonna find them. The Looking into investigation
38:55
unit is gonna find. Yeah, no, the areas where I'm
38:58
broken is when it comes to board games.
39:01
And then yeah, when my kids are safe but they're scared and we
39:04
just have to like, physically remove me from the situation
39:06
because I'm a nightmare. Yeah, yeah.
39:11
I think that my struggle would be I'm a very like generous
39:15
person. I just love to do things for
39:17
people. Like I like to spend money on
39:19
people until the moment that I don't want to and I have to and
39:25
I I would have to get rid of them.
39:27
I'm like, I don't want to spend money on you if I don't want to.
39:30
So that is the thing. I'm like selfless, a reminder
39:35
for the class. I'm a Gemini okay, so I am very
39:40
selfless and giving until I'm not and then it's the opposite.
39:47
I contain multitudes. Practically, though, how does
39:51
that play out? Like, hey, I want to get you all
39:54
the fun things, but you need to eat, so I'm gonna not like how.
39:57
Where. Yeah.
39:57
Probably something like that. Like what?
39:59
Yeah, probably. Like I'm buying you here.
40:02
I bought you this like $300 fragrance here.
40:06
That is why am I paying for dinner right now?
40:09
Like what are you talking about? You know what I mean?
40:14
I don't, but I love it. So yeah, imagine.
40:19
You'll make sure they have all the liboo boos that they want.
40:22
Hello. But I'm sorry, you want me to
40:25
pay for your soccer cleats. Yeah, well, if they're cute
40:29
soccer cleats, I have found a way to find good deals.
40:33
That is something that I've gotten better at in my age, in
40:40
my older age. As I age, I've gotten better at
40:44
finding a good deal. Yeah.
40:47
But you'd make it work. I'd make it work.
40:49
I'd be a great parent, let's just be honest.
40:52
Yeah, and I know that you're an amazing uncle.
40:54
Yeah, I am. Yeah.
40:57
I looked into it a couple years ago cuz I was like, and maybe,
41:00
maybe I'll look into this again for the world.
41:03
I looked into what it would cost for me as like a gay man to have
41:09
a child. It's like $100,000 at the just
41:12
off the from like good job. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:17
For like a surrogate, adoption surrogate, anything like that.
41:21
And I don't really want to Dang. It I wish that my uterus was
41:24
younger, I was made to breed baby.
41:26
I could have carried your kid. Hello.
41:28
Yeah, that's my bummer. No, we missed that window.
41:31
Missed the window. We can't.
41:33
Not happening. No, that that that hotel is
41:37
closed. You know we are not kidding
41:38
anymore. No more occupants like be out.
41:41
Yeah. Yeah, I would have done that for
41:45
you though. But well anyway, God bless, it
41:48
would have been a beautiful child.
41:50
Yeah. Yeah.
41:52
Oh my gosh, wait, would we be using our genetic material if I
41:57
were your surrogate? I think so.
41:59
You would pick a different egg donor and then implant you would
42:02
want, you would want to use Yeah, My genetic material.
42:08
Yeah, yeah, our child, our child.
42:10
What would our what would our child be like?
42:16
I mean, brilliant, gorgeous, humble.
42:22
Yeah, absolutely. I guess some a better quote.
42:36
Yeah, all those things and and maybe humble.
42:39
I'm honestly humble is at the very bottom of the list of
42:42
things I give a fuck about with. Joe and I was being very
42:44
sarcastic. About yes.
42:46
We like spoke over each other saying gorgeous and brilliant at
42:49
the same time. So good.
42:53
Oh, I love it. Yeah, all of the things.
42:56
Our kid would take no shits from anyone.
42:59
No. Not even us.
43:01
No, not even probably. No, they would, yeah.
43:04
They would be listening to Father, Yes.
43:07
OK. Yeah.
43:08
OK, man, I'm sad we missed that opportunity.
43:11
Well, I. Know Dang.
43:13
Maybe in another life, you know, I bet there's another dimension
43:15
where the two of us have a kid together.
43:17
Absolutely. There's got to be Oh my gosh,
43:20
one day I'm going to find this other dimension we're.
43:23
Going to find the Caleb's in the hiding and say see what choices
43:26
they made. Absolutely, yeah.
43:30
I love interdimensional eyes. Yeah.
43:33
And our fictional So sweet. Oh.
43:36
Hey listeners, if you're good with AI you shouldn't do a mash
43:38
up of our faces and show us what our cool kid looks like.
43:41
Please thank. You.
43:41
Yeah, actually we don't. Like AI, So don't we don't like
43:43
AI, Just draw it. Yourself.
43:45
Draw it yourself. We need original artwork and
43:50
original creation. I'll take it, I'll take it.
43:52
I love it. I love it.
43:54
Hey, should we move on and try to give ourselves some
43:55
structure? Should we spin the wheel on
43:57
this? Let's spin.
43:58
Yeah, let's spin a wheel. Let's.
44:00
Spin a wheel. What other things do we do on
44:02
this show? Are there other segments that we
44:04
ever. You know what we love recapping
44:06
a show, but we don't have a show we're watching right now.
44:09
And we asked our listeners to send us ideas.
44:11
And maybe I've checked the inbox and I've checked our comments
44:15
and like, hey, listeners, if you're here, like we are showing
44:20
up for you and we hello. And we really like community and
44:24
think everybody has a place in community.
44:26
And what you bring to the table as a listener is so valuable.
44:30
You can give us some fucking engagement.
44:32
I mean you. Can like.
44:33
Maybe send us some ideas? Send us an idea.
44:37
Where can they send us? Where can they send their ideas?
44:41
To my gosh, well, you know, on every post we include the link
44:45
to our e-mail, which is looking into podcast@gmail.com and then
44:49
you can also find us on Instagram at looking into
44:51
podcast and that Instagram is now active, active.
44:55
Officially. Officially active and so you can
44:58
DMS on that and, you know, let us know how it goes.
45:02
Yeah, So you got options, Yeah. Or if you're one of the, you
45:06
know, two dozen listeners, you probably have our personal phone
45:09
numbers and you can send us your shit that way too.
45:11
Don't do that. Send us an e-mail.
45:15
Gauge on the platforms we. Provide people.
45:18
Anyway, so yes, that is one of the things we do, we do.
45:22
And also we have incorporated some recurring segments into our
45:26
spin the wheel. So depending on how it spins out
45:29
for us today, we might be seeing a Caleb rant, you might see a
45:33
book recommendation, a product shout out, or a listener
45:38
question. So those are the Korean segments
45:40
that come up and spin the wheel. I hope this Caleb guy's ready
45:42
with any of those things. You know, if I know anything
45:46
about this Caleb guy, he's really good at shooting from the
45:48
hip. Yeah, we'll figure it out.
45:50
I'm sure he's. Kind of a spur of the moment
45:53
kind of person. And it always works out OK.
45:56
Yeah. And if it doesn't, it doesn't.
45:58
OK. The rest of our wheel if you are
46:00
new here. Oh shoot.
46:02
Hey, Brandon, play us in. Oh yeah, spin the.
46:06
Wheel. All right, so if you are new to
46:08
us, welcome. We love you.
46:10
We spin the wheel, which means we keep track of topics that
46:13
interest us throughout the week. We put them on a randomizer and
46:16
then we spin it and when it comes up, whoever's topic it is
46:19
has one minute to share their thoughts.
46:21
Here we go. That's the sound of the wheel,
46:25
by the way. OK first topic is get in the
46:33
pictures and this is my topic. OK, that's.
46:35
Heidi's topic. OK this came up because Caleb
46:39
and I were looking for pictures of us to introduce us to all
46:43
y'all on Instagram. And you know what?
46:46
I do not exist in my life outside of selfies.
46:50
And so that just made me think of this thing that my beautiful
46:53
friend Ellie said to me once. Now, when I met Ellie, Ellie
46:57
knew she was terminal. She had a terminal diagnosis of
47:00
cancer and she just really lived her life with a lot of intention
47:03
and purpose. But one of the things that she
47:05
did is she went on a girls weekend with her best friends to
47:09
plan her memorial service. And as she was doing that, she
47:12
went through all these photos to put together a photo montage and
47:16
slideshow of her life for her memorial service and realized
47:19
she was not in most of the photos in her life because she
47:23
didn't like her hair. She wasn't happy with her
47:24
weight. She was the one taking the
47:25
picture. And she was like, I have photos
47:28
of my children, but not me with them.
47:30
And so one of the things that Ellie said in her in her final
47:34
days on earth was she said, get in the pictures.
47:38
She said to moms out there and anybody who's inclined to hide
47:42
behind the camera, get in the pictures, like live your life,
47:46
but also make sure that you like you, you see yourself living
47:49
your life as well. And so the fact that I couldn't
47:52
find photos of me for our Instagram reminded me that like,
47:56
you know what? I need to have evidence of me in
47:58
my life as well beyond a selfie. Cuz also selfies feel kinda
48:00
lame. But so I had that conversation
48:03
with my hubs and I was like, Brandon, you need to take more
48:05
photos of me. But I.
48:07
Love not. Get in the photos.
48:08
Get in the photos, get in the pictures.
48:11
Don't let live in the present. Yeah.
48:14
Yeah, I love that. That's a beautiful story.
48:17
I love that. I'm gonna keep that in mind.
48:19
Thank you. Well, and Moira Rose says
48:21
something. She does.
48:23
You. Catherine O'Hara.
48:24
Yeah. What the Where?
48:25
She says you will look at yourself with kinder eyes.
48:28
Yeah. Yeah.
48:29
Yeah, take 1000 naked pictures of yourself and trust me, I
48:34
have. So actually it's a problem for
48:38
me because I scroll through my phone.
48:39
I was scrolling through my phone to send you pictures of me and I
48:41
was like, well I gotta make sure.
48:43
I gotta make sure that I don't accidentally throw 1.
48:46
Of these photos of them, you had a very different challenge with
48:48
your photo roll than I had with mine.
48:51
Like so many naked pictures. Well, thank you for editing, and
48:53
I'm so glad I didn't get an unsolicited Kila pic.
48:57
Next topic Boo we I love you. I love you.
49:03
All right, this is book recommendation.
49:06
Do you have a book recommendation or you want me to
49:08
go? You go OK, please.
49:11
I'm just going to recommend because I reread it this last
49:14
week. How can I say this quickly?
49:19
I had a horrible dentist experience where I was like
49:21
curled up in the fetal position, like tears streaming and like
49:24
white knuckling through the pain at the dentist's office.
49:27
And I was trying to disassociate by thinking of my favorite book
49:30
characters and the way that they disassociate through pain.
49:33
And the one that came to mind was Alexis Hurt, who is the lead
49:36
character in Blood of Hercules by Jasmine Moss.
49:39
And so I went back and I reread Blood of Hercules and Bonds of
49:41
Hercules. Gosh, that's such a good series.
49:43
And the third one is due to come out next year in 27.
49:47
But if you have not read Blood of Hercules and Bonds of
49:49
Hercules, it's like a great morally Gray like Greek
49:55
mythology overlapped with the apocalyptic like Hunger Games
49:59
bad ass incredible female main character who's just like top
50:05
top top. So that's my book, correct?
50:07
That's exciting. I love that.
50:09
Yeah, it's a good one. Amber Moss.
50:12
Jasmine Moss is the name of the author.
50:14
Yes. MAS.
50:17
OK. And on a gear shift, we have
50:21
health transparency in Congress. Honey, honey, honey.
50:32
Well, Lindsey Graham's dead and you know, I have seen a few
50:37
things about this. First of all, I just want to
50:39
preface by saying I don't wish death on anyone, that everyone
50:46
is a human with a family, and I don't relish in anyone's death.
50:56
And yet you have an ellipsis at the end of that.
50:59
Didn't he just wait for one last pride before he kicked the
51:04
bucket? So fierce of him?
51:07
Lindsey Graham, famously a closeted homosexual who has put
51:15
lots of money in the pockets of sex workers in Washington, DC,
51:19
allegedly. And God bless him.
51:24
So he's dead, he's gone. I, it made me think of Mitch
51:28
McConnell, who is currently in a state, a questionable state, who
51:33
has been in a questionable health space for a while.
51:37
But look, I'm not just here to talk about Republicans and their
51:42
issues because the Democrats are not really divulging or share.
51:49
It was sharing their health issues either.
51:53
And as these Congress people get up into their 80s, their 70s,
51:59
their 80s and whatever, and they don't have the physical or
52:04
mental or emotional capacity to even walk their happy asses into
52:09
Congress to lead our country, I have to ask the question, what
52:15
are we doing? What?
52:16
Why are you here? What are we doing?
52:18
What? Are we doing?
52:19
Why? Why are can we advocate, maybe
52:22
hypothetically, for term limits A.
52:25
Term limits. Or like an age out process,
52:28
because I kind of feel like if you're not going to be alive to
52:31
reap the results of the decisions you're making, you
52:34
maybe shouldn't be making those decisions.
52:35
Yeah. I'm just going to throw it out
52:38
there that I think for the people who lead our country and
52:43
make decisions about our country, I think that the age
52:46
range of 35 to 65 is a perfectly healthy age range for people to
52:53
be doing that. And I think that if people get
52:56
to 65, they should be thanked for their service.
53:00
I'm not saying you need to die at 65.
53:03
I'm saying just retire from Congress.
53:06
Go live out the rest of your life with your lifelong salary.
53:11
Yeah, and just enjoy it. Thank you for taking the time to
53:14
step into the houses of government and lay your little
53:18
votes down and negotiate for the American people.
53:21
I love that whatever side you're on, don't even care about that.
53:26
But like, I think it's 65. That's a good time to hang up
53:30
the. You know, that's kind of a
53:31
universal, like it's kind of a, an accepted age for retirement.
53:37
Yeah, yeah. Call me crazy.
53:40
Well, I guess if you were letting your pockets with things
53:42
and you can make your own rules, but anyway.
53:44
Hello. Hello.
53:46
So we would advocate for health transparency and good long lives
53:49
for people, but also. Yeah, I just want to, and I
53:53
don't mean I, it's like transparency.
53:56
I put transparency because I don't know what I'm talking
53:58
about really, but I'm like, I just want to know why.
54:02
Like, you don't have to tell me what's wrong with you if you are
54:05
65 and no longer in Congress. Like, that's fine.
54:10
We don't need to get to the point where it's like dementia
54:13
and, you know, your body's naturally failing.
54:15
Why don't you just go out and enjoy life?
54:19
Don't be stressed anyway. No, I also, I think you said
54:23
something important there where you were like, I don't know what
54:25
I'm talking about. I think none of us know.
54:29
None of us have all the information.
54:31
That's why we have to work as a community and work collectively.
54:34
But you're allowed to have an opinion as somebody who's
54:37
impacted by the decisions that are made, as somebody who lives
54:39
in this democratic country. By democratic, I mean democracy,
54:43
like, don't come at, well, come at me if you want to.
54:45
I'm not going to give a fuck. Don't do it.
54:46
Don't do it. Don't do it.
54:52
Anyway, there was a deal spin and I skipped it because I
54:54
already mentioned the dentist. I don't want to talk about them
54:56
again. So we're going to shift gears
54:57
and move on. We passed our minute timeline on
55:00
that one. Caleb, this is a product shout
55:05
out. OK, so the whole reason I put
55:08
this look. At you.
55:09
You are ready. You are ready.
55:11
What is? It's so silly and I have to go
55:16
back and find the picture because what was this like 3
55:17
weeks ago that I took this picture?
55:22
Oh my God. Oh, I found it already.
55:24
I take back the fact that I said that you were ready, cuz then
55:26
you just. I am ready.
55:27
I'm ready. OK, we'll just click that little
55:31
a couple seconds anyway. So I am a lover of hot sauce.
55:35
I love hot sauce, all the hot sauces but not like don't try to
55:39
put me on hot ones unless unless you want to put me on hot ones
55:44
cuz. Yeah, unless you want to.
55:45
Put them on. I'm down for the fame.
55:46
I would make great television. I keep telling people this, this
55:51
hot sauce is at probably every grocery store.
55:55
It is called It's not gonna yellow bird, yellow bird hot
55:59
sauce and the Serrano pepper hot sauce.
56:04
It's the green 1 yellow bird. Go get it.
56:07
It's so good. It's like, I don't know, it's
56:11
green sauce, Mama. It's so good.
56:14
Where did you originally find it?
56:15
Do you remember? QFC is it?
56:17
Q. No, yeah, the bag.
56:19
You know I don't like QFC. Not their deli.
56:21
I probably didn't pay for it, but no, it's good and I keep
56:29
buying it. I keep going through the bottle
56:31
and I'm like, damn, this is really good hot sauce.
56:32
It's not that hot. So if you're not like a spicy
56:35
girly, it's OK. It's just a yeah, it's
56:38
delicious. Yellow bird Serrano hot sauce.
56:41
That is good to know. I'm not a hot sauce girl, but
56:43
Brandon is a hot sauce girl and so.
56:46
We'll get girly girly pop. Get this yellow bird hot sauce,
56:50
Mama. Fantastic, I love that.
56:54
Yeah. OK, like 2 more.
56:57
OK. Damn, it's a Caleb Brant is.
57:01
It a Caleb Brant. OK, I have something to say.
57:08
You have something to say. I'm so excited.
57:12
OK, OK. So you know when you want to go
57:14
to a show, you want to go, you buy tickets to a show, You're
57:18
like, I'm excited to go see this show.
57:20
So you buy your tickets. What?
57:27
As someone who manages A venue and knows that we have a lot of
57:31
people buying tickets to our venue to come see shows we send
57:35
out to every show we send a no before you go e-mail.
57:38
Oh, so good. Most venues do this, most places
57:43
do this, so let's just assume that they're going out.
57:46
If if you bought a ticket to a show and they didn't send you a
57:49
no before you go, then I have a different rant for that
57:51
situation later and it's not towards you.
57:54
But this is for the people who receive the note before you go.
57:58
e-mail and do not open it and read it.
58:01
And then they show up at the club or the concert venue or
58:06
whatever it is. They don't have the information
58:09
that was sent to them. And it's OK to ask questions.
58:12
Nothing wrong with asking questions.
58:14
Show up, ask questions, be curious, be courteous.
58:18
That's all great. But when you show up after we've
58:21
sent you the information and you act a fool and you have an
58:25
attitude and you're entitled and you're a little bitch, I'm not
58:30
about it, baby. You should have read that.
58:32
No, before you go e-mail. And the worst thing to do is to
58:35
come up in the club with a bad attitude because everyone there
58:38
is working hard, trying to just put on a :), we all want to have
58:42
a good time. We want to curate a lovely
58:44
atmosphere. And you come in here with a bad
58:46
attitude. You can keep that back at home.
58:49
You can have your bad attitude on your couch watching your TV.
58:52
That's it. Well, and also you look a fool
58:55
because. You look a fool.
58:56
You have the information and you chose not to listen.
58:58
You're like the kid in class who listens to the directions and
59:01
says, teacher, what are we doing?
59:02
And it's like you, you, I just fucking told you.
59:05
You had the information. Yeah.
59:07
We gave you that information. We gave you that information.
59:10
Sat down and spent there Monday morning, yeah, Typing up a whole
59:15
e-mail, putting pictures in there, putting little tunes in
59:20
there, doing all sorts of stuff. So you you would read it
59:23
experience. Hello.
59:25
Speak on it, sister Heidi it. Is your own handful if people
59:28
provide you with the information and you disregard the
59:31
information baby, which I'm sure I've done many times and then
59:34
show everyone think about it. Listen, none of us are perfect,
59:38
OK? None of us are perfect.
59:40
Did I show up to a concert at the the zoo and then go hungry
59:42
because I wasn't allowed to bring food inside?
59:44
Yes. Was Randy Carlisle worth it?
59:46
Yes. Yeah.
59:47
Did I get mad at my mom, who was really upset about her pizza and
59:49
she had to go eat it? And I was like a whole
59:51
situation? Yeah.
59:51
You gotta read the directions ahead of time.
59:53
And if you don't, it's just gonna be not as good of an
59:55
experience, and that's on you. That's good, yeah.
59:58
It's on you, yeah. I went and stopped.
1:00:00
Randy Carlisle at the venue? Yeah.
1:00:03
You wanna go one more? Let's do one more.
1:00:04
Let's do. One more.
1:00:10
Oh my gosh. OK.
1:00:12
The last one is a listener question.
1:00:14
I knew can I just? Tell you you wouldn't.
1:00:16
You could feel it the. Lord spoke to me.
1:00:20
What she? Said I knew.
1:00:21
I almost said it's going to be a listener question.
1:00:24
But I didn't. Should have called it ahead of
1:00:25
time. You didn't.
1:00:26
Use it to though you just felt it in your bones.
1:00:28
You manifested that shit. Let's go Yes.
1:00:31
The Goddess spoke to us. OK, OK.
1:00:34
Well, you know I am ready to deliver a listener question.
1:00:41
You just gotta locate them. I found it.
1:00:43
I already had it. You got it.
1:00:45
Just had to go to the right tab. Got it, Got it, got it.
1:00:48
OK, I'm sorry for doubting you. My gosh, that's on me.
1:00:52
That's egg on my face. It's OK, It's OK.
1:00:54
I'm proving myself OK. Hey, looking into a couple
1:01:02
episodes ago, you both gave us a peek into what pandemic life was
1:01:05
like for each of you, and it really resonated with me.
1:01:08
It made me realize I'm still carrying around a lot of a lot
1:01:11
from that time. Maybe it's because it was all so
1:01:14
weird. The world basically turned
1:01:16
upside down overnight. We all adapted to things that
1:01:19
would have sounded completely insane a month earlier.
1:01:21
And then one day, everyone sort of agreed to stop talking about
1:01:24
it. It feels like we never really
1:01:26
processed it as a society. Maybe that's impossible.
1:01:30
Maybe all anyone has left are dark memories.
1:01:33
But I'd rather hear people talk about what happened then pretend
1:01:36
it was just another once in a lifetime collective trauma we
1:01:38
all breeze past on our way to the next one.
1:01:42
So my question is, what was the best thing that happened to each
1:01:45
of you during the pandemic? And what was the worst that you
1:01:50
can share on the air? Of course, sincerely.
1:01:53
Long in COVID, short in answers, damn fierce.
1:02:01
OK, what was the best? And what was the worst?
1:02:04
Take us out on a good no. OK, I'm gonna get my head on
1:02:07
this, OK? I already know my best.
1:02:12
You do, then you start please. I wanna end with my best.
1:02:17
OK, Yeah, such a tease. My gosh.
1:02:22
OK. Well, let me then I'll I'll
1:02:25
follow suit. Let me start with.
1:02:30
Well, you think I want to talk about my lighting?
1:02:32
Is this lighting not gorgeous? It is great.
1:02:36
It's like very, like I was going to say demonic, but it's not
1:02:39
like bad. It's like it's just like good.
1:02:42
It's a good vibe. I just said demonic was a good
1:02:45
vibe. I'd like to take it back his
1:02:46
life. This lady is red and he looks
1:02:50
gorgeous. Yeah.
1:02:51
Yeah. And I don't know why.
1:02:52
It's youthful and I'm wearing white.
1:02:55
We do look like an Angel and a devil right now, baby.
1:02:58
Good. For us, and that is, I mean,
1:03:00
hello, the duality. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
1:03:03
no, no, no, no. I make my children scared of
1:03:06
bears in the woods. It's fine.
1:03:07
And then I laugh. OK, I'm I'm not gonna sit here
1:03:10
and dig through the trenches of the worst, but I will talk about
1:03:13
negative. Yeah, yeah, because the the
1:03:16
worst I don't none of us need to relive the worst Wah for me
1:03:25
personally or like the worst pandemic wise.
1:03:28
I think for you personally during personally.
1:03:37
I don't know, man, I found some depths of mental health stuff
1:03:41
that I'd never experienced before The, the, I think the
1:03:46
lack of routine was so much harder than I thought, You know,
1:03:54
I mean, we talked about the isolation and we, we
1:03:57
collectively, internationally talked about the challenges of
1:04:01
the isolation and not being able to gather in spaces or to see
1:04:04
our loved ones. But the fact that everything was
1:04:10
unstructured and like, I was stuck in the home with the kids
1:04:15
while working, trying to do school counseling through a
1:04:18
computer screen and Brandon was trying to teach band through a
1:04:22
computer screen. I didn't realize how much my
1:04:29
life and health had like really kind of slowed down into this
1:04:32
like swamp of a doldrums of a Gray, endless like wasteland
1:04:39
until things opened back up and I got back in the school
1:04:43
building and started having some semblance of routine again.
1:04:46
And I was like immediate. It was like somebody had
1:04:49
switched a light switch on. And so I didn't realize because
1:04:51
it was a slow descent, you know, it was like there were so many
1:04:55
other things that we were worried about.
1:04:57
I mean, I guarantee one of the reasons my daughter still has
1:05:00
massive responses to illness stuff is because of of the
1:05:04
heightened awareness that my kids had of illness at such a
1:05:07
young age. There were so many other
1:05:09
impacts. But for me personally, like,
1:05:12
yeah, the mental health swamp was, it felt really, really
1:05:16
endless. And it, and it wasn't like dark
1:05:19
and twisty, like I didn't ever struggle with ideation, but
1:05:22
there was just, it was like everything turned Gray and, and
1:05:27
I didn't realize how bad it was until I started coming out of
1:05:29
it. So that was, I think probably
1:05:31
the hardest for me personally. Yeah, yeah, I mean, that makes a
1:05:34
lot of sense. I think that it's really
1:05:36
relatable what you said, that they're like the Gray wasteland
1:05:41
kind of feeling of just thing like life in a lot of ways felt
1:05:47
that like it lost its vibrancy for me.
1:05:53
Disclaimer, I loved the pandemic.
1:05:56
I it was an incredible time for me, but the darkest part for me
1:06:03
and it was dark is my substance use definitely skyrocket
1:06:09
skyrocketed my drinking, my other illicit substances.
1:06:15
I just, you know, we smoked a lot of weed.
1:06:18
We I drank a lot and that caused tension, you know, you know,
1:06:23
obviously also like we had this tiny little apartment and both
1:06:28
of us stopped working essentially like stopped going
1:06:32
to work. I still was able to like, work
1:06:34
remotely a little bit. But yeah, the I, I would say the
1:06:40
substance use for me was like the darkest.
1:06:42
That was the most difficult part of the pandemic for me.
1:06:46
Gosh, and Kayla, you're so not alone in that.
1:06:49
Like, thank you for sharing that.
1:06:50
But also I'm thinking like getting back in the schools when
1:06:53
things reopened, one of the things that was so challenging
1:06:55
for the students that I worked with was that the primary adults
1:06:58
in their lives were not OK. And like, the substance use for
1:07:03
the adults was so, so much and what had been normative
1:07:07
beforehand. And you really saw that impact
1:07:09
on the kids who, yeah, cuz they were so close to it.
1:07:12
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when your parents.
1:07:14
Are self medicating at A at a really high level, like
1:07:17
obviously that's gonna impact you as a kid.
1:07:19
Yeah, yeah, it was that was tough across the board for sure.
1:07:23
Yeah, yeah. How about the best?
1:07:26
OK, well, I will say with so many things that.
1:07:28
This is gonna be really silly. There were good things.
1:07:30
I mean, I could wax poetic about loving my introvert self for the
1:07:34
fact that I started baking bread and all I did all the things
1:07:38
that all those basic bitches did.
1:07:39
Yeah. Which was actually returned to
1:07:41
form because I used to bake bread with my mom when I was a
1:07:43
little baby. So anyway, feeling, you know,
1:07:46
one of the things that I did. To take care of.
1:07:48
Myself was, that was like the first time I actually got into
1:07:53
skin care in any way, shape or form.
1:07:56
Like, yeah, I cuz I couldn't do really anything to take care of
1:08:00
myself other than I could wash my face.
1:08:02
And so I got kind of into a bit of a bougie face routine.
1:08:06
Well, bougie for me, which was like more than bar soap, you
1:08:10
know, and water. But I really did establish some
1:08:14
sort of like routine and norm that I have continued.
1:08:19
And I do, I do thank the pandemic for that.
1:08:21
Whenever I'm putting my sunscreen on in the morning and
1:08:24
my retinol at night, I'm like, you know what?
1:08:27
This is the in the depths of my Gray as I was like floundering
1:08:31
for some sort of lifeline. I was like, I can wash my face.
1:08:34
That's the one thing I can do to take care of myself.
1:08:36
And yeah, it's stuck. It stayed with me.
1:08:38
So thank you, pandemic, for teaching me about skin care.
1:08:41
Yes, absolutely. Matthew is a skin care like
1:08:46
guru. He just knows everything about
1:08:48
skin care. So if ever if everyone talked to
1:08:50
someone about skin care, he's the one.
1:08:52
I don't even fucking touch it. Like he does everything and
1:08:56
whatever he says, I just put it on my face.
1:08:59
Easy peasy. Yeah, for me, the best part
1:09:04
about the pandemic is I got to take a break.
1:09:06
I it was like, I can't think of pre pandemic, a time since
1:09:13
leaving my home when I was a kid.
1:09:18
I cannot think of a time that I wasn't hustling and living
1:09:22
paycheck to paycheck and surviving in survival mode.
1:09:26
Yeah, and the pandemic happened and I started getting
1:09:33
unemployment, like getting money and not working.
1:09:36
I stopped paying rent because I had worked my whole life
1:09:42
hustling and surviving and knew a couple things about, you know,
1:09:48
when they say this, then that means this.
1:09:51
And I was like, I don't have to pay rent because I'm not going
1:09:53
to have to pay rent. And so we just collected the
1:09:57
money that the government was giving us.
1:09:59
We stopped paying rent. We did it all through the
1:10:02
correct channels, Sure. And for the first time in my
1:10:07
life, I got to take a break and, and really rest.
1:10:12
And, you know, there, of course there was like the substance
1:10:15
stuff going on. But also like Matthew and I went
1:10:16
on a vacation and we met new friends and we we started
1:10:21
ourselves on a new trajectory as a couple that I think was really
1:10:25
important, informative for like who we are today.
1:10:28
Yeah, I'm really strengthening in our bond.
1:10:31
And I came out of the pandemic, we had all of our rent that
1:10:35
forgiven. And I came out of the pandemic
1:10:39
for the first time in my life with a savings account.
1:10:42
And that has really shaped who I am today and set me up who I am
1:10:47
today as someone who is not in survival mode.
1:10:52
And that is really cool. So I'm very thankful not
1:10:57
everyone had this experience. I'm very thankful for the
1:10:59
experience that I had in the pandemic.
1:11:01
I think it was really good for me.
1:11:06
Yeah. And that's that does beautiful
1:11:09
note for us to end on. Yeah.
1:11:12
I mean it. Here's.
1:11:13
The thing is that. I I mean this life is.
1:11:17
So messy. Yeah, and it's really, really
1:11:20
hard. And whether it's puking at 3:00
1:11:26
AM with your child who's having panic attacks or really
1:11:30
struggling with substance use in the middle of the pandemic,
1:11:32
there are always opportunities to connect, to learn, to grow,
1:11:35
to dig in and to move forward. And gosh, I'm just grateful.
1:11:41
I just feel really grateful in this moment.
1:11:44
Well, thanks for being on this beautiful.
1:11:45
Messy journey with me, my love. Yeah, yeah.
1:11:48
Thank you. Fabulous time at Pride.
1:11:50
This weekend, everybody should go.
1:11:51
See you at Portland Waterfront. Come see us at the Portland
1:11:54
Waterfront, Mama. On that note.
1:11:55
Brandon, play us out. Wow.
1:11:57
Another week, another. Week another.
1:12:01
Time, yes.