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Fuck You: Triggers · Let's Get Naked

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone, I'm Anne.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to another FU mini episode of The Let's Get Naked.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here with Casey today, and this episode, we're going to talk about triggers.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, triggers for me are again obviously important enough that it's a chapter in my book.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I think a lot of people don't realize that triggers are your homework.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Those are your assignments in life.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Those have nothing to do with anyone else.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: So as I'm out in the wild talking with other people and they're like, you triggered me, and then I'm the asshole for it.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, that's your homework, boss.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's your schoolwork.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's not about me.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Your triggers are about you.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: If you feel any certain type of way about anything, that's your fucking work.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I love that saying about like you're bleeding on people that didn't cut you.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm not the one that cut you, and then you're bleeding all over me.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, do your own work.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: People that get all worked up about triggers uh and don't realize that it's theirs, it's like, fuck you.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Are you are you serious?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's like I'm not the one that has an issue about whatever it is, X, Y, Z.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: And and frankly, I don't really spend a lot of time with people that have uh low EQs that don't realize that their triggers are theirs because I think we're meant to work together in this life with one another, of like, did that bring something up for you?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm I'm always happy to be part of the solution with people, but I absolutely will not be the one that just gets uh takes the heat for the shit that anything in life brings up for you that you don't know how to handle like an adult.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think emotional intelligence comes into triggers in a really savage way because I think uh again, like if if you have like this blanket defensiveness, this blanket trigger, and then you expect everybody else to walk around on eggshells, it's like what are we four?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: What about the people that don't even know that it's they're being triggered?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: They just think that's just who they are.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's literally most of the people, right?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Which is why I'm screaming at the rooftops.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: As as we all grow, think about it, as you grow, do you share that with other people?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Do you share that with your kids?
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like, you know, Casey and I have been working together in a work sense for 20 years.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Casey and I have been working together in an emotional intelligence sense for a few years.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: And being able to have someone at your table of life that can say things to you where you understand that they have your best interests at heart and that they're trying to help you kind of level up and elevate because no one taught us that stuff, right?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Same.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't realize that.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: I had a blanket trigger where I thought the world revolved around me and my ego was on a robust diet of like, you know, oh my God, I'm so amazing and all of the things.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: I had to dig into figuring out what any of that looked like because the first time I even heard emotional intelligence, I'm like, what are you talking about?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: When I ask people now what emotional intelligence means to them, most people don't know.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like, I am trying to do the PSA here of, hey, your triggers are your responsibility, your low-level emotional intelligence, not from a judgmental place.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: This is just an observation.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And also because I've been there, contribute to that.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: And if you work on that, it your life just, you know, exponentially will become more awesome with every single thing that you, you know, energy that you put into that.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: And wouldn't you want to be handing that down to your kids as well?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like I look at all of these situations and it's like you have these dads who function at like a toddler level when it comes to their emotional intelligence.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: And their whole family is like in this position of um just bracing themselves around how terrible that is to be around someone that loses their cool.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the kids spill something and they yell and all of the things.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I get it, again, no judgment, lived in that space.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: But now that I see it, I can't unsee it.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want to tell people like, hey, boss, that's your work.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: You realize that, right?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're just passing down the shitty behaviors and the shitty stuff that you got handed, and that's not doing the best for your kids.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't know better, that's okay, but get curious about it.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Let's be real.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Life doesn't come with a manual, but it does come with chaos.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: I wrote this book because I got tired of drowning and everyone else's noise and needed a way to fix my own shit.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't some sugar-coated self-help nonsense.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's rush, it's honest, and it's packed with tools that actually work in the middle of real life.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you're ready to stop playing small, take back your energy, and get unapologetically you again, this book is your playbook.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: You can pick up your copy of the Life Pack Playbook on Amazon or on our podcast website, let's get nakedpodcast.com.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if you hear that and it's like, what is emotional intelligence?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's all over the place.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone's talking about it.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're if you're sitting going, I don't know what that means, figure it out because it's it's literally the spice of life, right?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: It literally makes things so much better.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Would you agree with that?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was living with somebody who reacted on a really quick just little something went wrong, and it's like all hell breaks loose.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's terrible.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is terrible.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's an awful way to live.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: And then everyone around them is holding their breath the whole time.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're, you know, I use the contractor at my house as the example of the low EQ, right?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's a misunderstanding and he lost his fucking mind.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: He was already at an eight or a nine, blew up to a 10, like all of these things, causing his own suffering, right?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because that was his suffering, not mine.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like, I can't even imagine what you're like to your wife and your kids.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even want to because I've seen that at my front door enough already.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but what are you doing?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's like, I would do anything for my kids.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: I would die for my kids, people say.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, Bill, no one needs you to lay your life down.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: But if you could just go ahead and fix your shit a little bit so that your whole entire family isn't in survival mode every time.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you're literally the liability in your family.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: You think you're this big asset.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Boss, you're not.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: You're not.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so do something about it, right?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Get curious about it instead of feeling like, oh, I gotta do all this, I gotta do all that.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: You're putting the work into the wrong thing.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, you're demanding that the world tiptoe around you so that you don't get triggered.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck you.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck you.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Your triggers are your homework, your triggers are your responsibility.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Your triggers are things that say, ah, maybe there's something here that could use improvement.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: And instead of people understanding that, they just bleed all over all over everybody else.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like, you know, oh no excuses.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: They just do it happily.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: No excuses, right?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because they don't even realize.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: But once you understand that you're the one causing your own suffering and you're the one creating the problems because your triggers are, you know, are the problem, grow up.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: So your triggers, fuck you.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that's all we're gonna say about that.