Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #134| Why Avoiding Difficult Conversations is Keeping You Stuck in Overwhelm and People-Pleasing - And How to Find Your Voice
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: If you've ever found yourself saying yes when you really want to say no, or just staying quiet to keep the peace, this episode is for you.
- 0:08Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:20Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working woman and current life coach.
- 0:25Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
- 0:36Michelle Gauthier: Hi, friend, in today's episode I'm going to share my client, Tasha's story with her permission, of course who went from feeling overwhelmed and approval seeking to calm, clear and confident.
- 0:53Michelle Gauthier: You'll hear how she stopped avoiding hard conversations, started setting boundaries and totally transformed the way she shows up in her life and her work.
- 1:03Michelle Gauthier: Before I jump in and tell you Tasha's story, just a reminder that in April we are celebrating the second birthday of Overwhelmed Working Woman.
- 1:11Michelle Gauthier: One of the things I'm working on is putting together a podcast where I am responding to all of the voice notes that you left me with what you love about the podcast and the questions that you have for me.
- 1:21Michelle Gauthier: I've had so much fun creating those episodes, so keep your eyes open for that.
- 1:25Michelle Gauthier: Those will be out next week, about a week from today, and I'm actually going to do two episodes on that because I got so so many voice notes, which was awesome.
- 1:34Michelle Gauthier: The other thing that we're working on this month is reviews.
- 1:38Michelle Gauthier: When you just open up your podcasting app and you see the shows that you subscribe to and then it gives you suggestions for other shows that you may like.
- 1:47Michelle Gauthier: That other shows that you may like is where I want to show up for people who are not already listening to our podcast, and the way to do that, the way for the algorithm to love us and show the podcast there is to have great episodes that lots of people listen to and to have lots of reviews.
- 2:04Michelle Gauthier: So if you have not yet and you want to help me reach all the rest of the overwhelmed working women who aren't listening, I would love if you would leave a review.
- 2:13Michelle Gauthier: It would mean so much to me and I would really appreciate it.
- 2:17Michelle Gauthier: Okay, let's dive in.
- 2:19Michelle Gauthier: So Tasha came to me, like most of my one-on-one clients do, feeling overwhelmed.
- 2:24Michelle Gauthier: She was saying yes to everything at work, at home, with her friends, because she wanted to keep everyone happy, and when we investigated it, she realized that she was trying to keep everyone happy to the detriment of herself.
- 2:38Michelle Gauthier: She wasn't feeling happy, so that meant she avoided difficult conversations with her employees and friends and family.
- 2:47Michelle Gauthier: And what happened?
- 2:48Michelle Gauthier: Even if we just think about the work situation, when you avoid difficult conversations with, say this, this isn't something Tasha told me, but I'm thinking back to my working days instead of saying like this actually isn't up to speed on what I was hoping for.
- 3:11Michelle Gauthier: So if you could go back and you could add this, that and the other thing and get it back to me by tomorrow, that would be great.
- 3:17Michelle Gauthier: If you don't have those conversations and you end up being the one who takes the thing and does it yourself, then you're just setting yourself up for more overwhelm.
- 3:27Michelle Gauthier: So we decided that we were going to start small, and I think that's always the best way to start Just take one small step in the right direction.
- 3:36Michelle Gauthier: Instead of overhauling her entire approach to communication, she took some simple steps to handle difficult conversations with confidence.
- 3:44Michelle Gauthier: We created a process and she came up with this process to prepare with data.
- 3:49Michelle Gauthier: So when she was going to have a tough conversation, she prepared with data.
- 3:53Michelle Gauthier: She set a clear intention for each one of the conversations and then she used breathing techniques like square breathing, which I'll link in the show notes, to calm herself before she had the conversation.
- 4:05Michelle Gauthier: And we noticed that the way she was thinking about these conversations before was what if they don't like what I say?
- 4:17Michelle Gauthier: And we transitioned that thought over to how can I help this person by being honest.
- 4:19Michelle Gauthier: So if you see this subtle but important shift there, it's worrying about what the other person is going to think and if they're going to like it too, how can I help this other person grow.
- 4:29Michelle Gauthier: One of the biggest changes that Tasha noticed was how much more confident she felt because she was prepared for the conversations.
- 4:36Michelle Gauthier: She felt empowered and more in control and when she felt that way, she went in feeling confident and in service to try to help her employees and other people who she was communicating with get better or better understand what she was explaining.
- 4:51Michelle Gauthier: So as she kept practicing this, she got more comfortable using her voice and she stopped avoiding these tough talks and started leading them and proactively scheduling them, and she started to see that setting boundaries and having honest conversations was a great way to protect her own energy, but also they were gifts to the people around her.
- 5:12Michelle Gauthier: So sometimes I think we believe that if we set a boundary that we are going to, it's going to be to the detriment of another person, but that isn't always true.
- 5:22Michelle Gauthier: It worked for everyone, and this is a quote that she said to me.
- 5:27Michelle Gauthier: In the past.
- 5:27Michelle Gauthier: I avoided conflict and stayed quiet, but with Michelle's guidance, I feel like a completely transformed person.
- 5:33Michelle Gauthier: The tools and guidance you've provided have truly transformed how I handle challenges, both in my personal and professional life.
- 5:41Michelle Gauthier: So this is a quick, short story just to remind us, and the reason why I asked Tasha permission to tell her story is because it's not like she's the only one right?
- 5:50Michelle Gauthier: If you're listening, you might be shaking your head and saying, yes, I definitely do that sometimes or all the time, and I love how her story shows that breaking the cycle of people pleasing isn't about becoming someone you're not.
- 6:03Michelle Gauthier: It's about finding the courage and the confidence to be exactly who you are and that, even if you've been a people pleaser your whole entire life which you probably are if you're a woman I feel like we just get socialized to do that.
- 6:16Michelle Gauthier: If you take just these small intentional steps and have small conversations and grow your confidence.
- 6:24Michelle Gauthier: That way, you really can reduce your overwhelm, have, in my opinion, more fulfilling and honest relationships and then have the confidence to use your own voice and change your own life.
- 6:37Michelle Gauthier: So thank you, tasha, for letting me share your story.
- 6:40Michelle Gauthier: I'm actually going to invite her to be on the podcast and tell us more about what she learned in her coaching.
- 6:45Michelle Gauthier: So look for that episode in the future.
- 6:48Michelle Gauthier: That's a wrap for today.
- 6:50Michelle Gauthier: I hope you have a great week and if you enjoy this podcast, please do leave a rating and review.
- 6:57Michelle Gauthier: I would so appreciate it.
- 6:58Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.
- 6:59Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the overwhelmed working woman podcast.
- 7:08Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthiercom.
- 7:14Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.