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The Poop Episode · MidThoughtCrisis

• Midthought Eric: Come on. Jason: Right at the top. Midthought Eric: Come on, Chris, get it together, middle Chris. Boomer. Jason: Look up at the top, boomer. Live. Thirty seconds. Mid Thought Chris: Let's get a theme song. What is Jason: Yes. Mid Thought Chris: up everybody? Midthought Eric: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Welcome to the Midthought Crisis. My name Jason: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: is Chris. He's Eric. Midthought Eric: I'm Eric. Mid Thought Chris: And you've got a third person there that is Mid Thought Jason. Jason, what is good? Midthought Eric: Yay Jason: Jason. Midthought Eric: Woo Woo Jason: Thank you. Happy to be here. Happy to be here, folks. Happy to be here. Honored. Midthought Eric: Hey producer Mike, where are those cheering cheering noises? Applause. We have expanded. We have grown so much. we have producers Mid Thought Chris: Cheering noises. Producer Mike! Where are you, producer Mike? Where are you? Jason: Yeah. What the heck? I'm ready. I'm ready. Midthought Eric: and guests. Yes. Yep. Mid Thought Chris: Producers and guests. Producers and guests. Jason, my good man, how are you this evening? Midthought Eric: Good man. Jason: I'm doing fantastic. How are you, gentlemen? Mid Thought Chris: where where Midthought Eric: Yeah. Jason: Thank you. It's too much. It's too much, you gotta stop. It's too much. S shut it off. Thank you. Mid Thought Chris: It's pretty wild. Midthought Eric: Wow. I didn't know we had so many guests. Where where are they all hiding? I see nobody. Nobody is watching. Mid Thought Chris: we don't know that. You don't know that. Where Midthought Eric: yeah, I see a I see a count that says zero. Jason: Yeah. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: do you see that? Up there? by the thing. Come on. Midthought Eric: it's up there, you know. The thing. Yeah the thing. Get these guys. Jason: I see that I see that and I think room to grow. That's all I see. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Room to grow. It it's it can only go up from here. Midthought Eric: Improvement. Yeah. Jason: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: well welcome. Eric and Jason, how how are you guys doing? What what's going on? Midthought Eric: I'll tell you what, Chris, you truly outdid yourself earlier today. Well, Mid Thought Chris: What did I do earlier today? Little boy. Midthought Eric: there were a few options. but Mid Thought Chris: What Midthought Eric: but your little teaser you sent out, the thumbnail with the teaser, f featuring special guest Jason Daly, exclamation point. I Mid Thought Chris: I will spit. Midthought Eric: I shared that with my my wonderful wife, my best girl, and she said Mid Thought Chris: And what'd she say? You're Chris is a moron. Midthought Eric: She said, she said, who the heck is Jason Daly? I was like Jason: Excuse me? Midthought Eric: I was like I was like, we have a very special guest tonight. Like I don't want to miss this. Like you can't miss this. I Mid Thought Chris: No. Midthought Eric: don't know. Maybe maybe we let her down already. I don't know. I surely, surely, surely everybody else out there has heard of you and is well familiar with your work. Jason: well it's something that that I've heard many times. I've disappointed many women before. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Jason: so it's another day of the office for me. But yeah. Yep. Midthought Eric: So add my wife to one of the women, huh? Mid Thought Chris: Shees. Jason: One thousand one. There we go. Onward we go. Midthought Eric: man. Mid Thought Chris: Jason, our w huge audience would love to know a little bit more about you. Let's Midthought Eric: They're clamoring. Mid Thought Chris: let's go let's let's see here, Eric. Some of the questions we have asked our many guests in the past. but yeah, Midthought Eric: Mm yes. All of them. Mid Thought Chris: like where are you from? How do you know how did you come to the Myththaw Crisis? let's see. Midthought Eric: What was your first impression of me? Mid Thought Chris: First impression of Eric Jason: Gotcha. Mid Thought Chris: and favorite movie. And go. Jason: wow, okay. Favorite movie. Okay. I know. Yeah, Midthought Eric: favorite movie. That's like six. Six at once. Mid Thought Chris: how original. How original, right? Jason: nobody ever asks that. favorite movie. you know, I'm probably gonna have to say dumb and dumber. Midthought Eric: Hmm. Mid Thought Chris: Mm, solid. Jason: I feel like it has a little bit of everything in it. It's got your comedy, Midthought Eric: What we're saying. Mid Thought Chris: Hm. Jason: it's got your drama, it has a little bit of action. I mean a little bit of action. Mid Thought Chris: Well, see you later. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Jason: yeah. So that would be that'd be up there for me. Mid Thought Chris: Perfect. Jason: came across mid thought crisis because my cousin in law, that guy, to your top left, he asked me and I'm like, sure, just quit asking. I'll do it. I'll do it already. Midthought Eric: so he had he had to beg. Like it wasn't one of those organic processes where you're like, Dude, this is awesome. Can I please be on the show? And he was like and he was like, Well, Jason: No. No. No. He's been asking for about ten years. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Midthought Eric: we have a lottery system, and it's really competitive and you just drew the lucky number, right? Jason: Yeah. Yep. Yep. Midthought Eric: Okay, that's usually how it goes. Jason: yeah. Just been kind of an idiot most of my life doing Mid Thought Chris: Hm. Midthought Eric: Welcome to the show. Jason: you know yeah, huh. figured that was a good a good resume stuffer right from the get go. you know Midthought Eric: What about a gecko? Jason: you t wow. Mid Thought Chris: I've got two. I've got two. Midthought Eric: Ha ha. Jason: I just thought just it'd help you save money on your Midthought Eric: Time out. Jason: car insurance. Midthought Eric: Time out. Jason, Mid Thought Chris: Timing out. Midthought Eric: I I believe that mid thought Chris has something to share to the audience. I don't I don't know that this has been publicly broadcast. Or maybe it has. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: What? the geckos Jason: Whew, I'll get my apology ready for my wife. Go. Mid Thought Chris: Why were you apologizing to your wife? What do you mean? Midthought Eric: Do tell. Jason: For whatever might might follow. I don't know. Mid Thought Chris: were you talking about the geckos, Eric? Is that what you're talking about? Midthought Eric: Yeah, you well you bought it in and said I have two geckos, so let's hear it. Come on. Put your Mid Thought Chris: w Midthought Eric: money where your mouth is. Mid Thought Chris: I have two crested geckos. Yeah, yeah, they're fun. Crested. Midthought Eric: Crusty, crusty geckos. Mid Thought Chris: Crested. Yeah. yeah, they're Jason: They're heavily neglected. That's why they're crusty. Mid Thought Chris: That's why they're crusting. Exactly. Exactly. I might have to I'll have to share them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have that for action. All right, continue. Midthought Eric: We wanna see pictures or it didn't count. didn't happen. Take that fraction. I have that fraction. Okay. Mid Thought Chris: I'm so sorry that Eric interrupted you, Jason. yeah. Jason: No, that's th there's really not much to say about me. I I'm really not that special. you know, then Mid Thought Chris: I disagree personally. Midthought Eric: I I do think you're special. The question is what kind of special? Jason: garish. Mid Thought Chris: Mm, mm, mm. Jason: so many ways. yeah. Midthought Eric: How can I count them? Jason: Show you some report cards. No, you know, yeah, I'm Midthought Eric: Good teaser. Jason: bit kinda getting into the getting into the improv thing. so I'll be doing that. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah, we were chatting about that the other day. That was I we've known each other for I how long have I been married? I've been married for twenty-one years. I think tw yeah, twenty-one years. where's the c hang on, hang on, clapping, clapping. Twenty-one Midthought Eric: Good job Chris. We had flashcards, we were studying. We were studying. Jason: Yeah, man. Mid Thought Chris: years. Jason: Get up. Witch up. Mid Thought Chris: Couldn't have done it without her. so yeah, so Midthought Eric: All those flashcards work. Mid Thought Chris: I think we met shortly before shortly before Jason: Yes. Mid Thought Chris: we got married, right? So yes. Yes. Jason: You came to KU, visited me at the dorms. I was completely naked. And you know Mid Thought Chris: PAH Midthought Eric: Chris Chris has only been to Christian dorms, he's not familiar with that. Mid Thought Chris: I it was very it was very interesting. I did not no Leanne had to guide me through 'cause I was so confused and I didn't know where what I was doing. Midthought Eric: He's not allowed to look at another woman while on campus. Jason: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, many. Mid Thought Chris: So yeah, so we we went out to meet you guys before before Leanne and I got yeah, so rewind the tape a little bit. So Jason is Leanne, my wife's cousin. And so yeah, over the years Jason has become more like my cousin, like great friend, and I adore this man and think he's one of the funniest humans alive. So I am Jason: Same deal. Mid Thought Chris: I am ashamed that it took Midthought Eric: I feel Mid Thought Chris: That it Eric stay out of this I am ashamed that it took Stay out of this stop getting so jealous so I'm ashamed Midthought Eric: I feel a little bit left out. I could not allow this to happen. Jason: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: that it took so long you know to to really I really just wanted to prove ourselves and make Midthought Eric: Hm. Mid Thought Chris: you know the mid-thought crisis worthy of somebody like yourself, but and here we are. Still not worthy, still got a ways to go, guys. Midthought Eric: And here we are. Still not worthy. Jason: you are too kind, sir. Too kind too kind. Midthought Eric: We're out of time, let's just do it. Jason: Yeah. Yeah, I'm still kinda thinking about it, but you know, I'll get back to you guys. I'll have my secretary get back to you guys. Yeah. It's it's looking promising though. Mid Thought Chris: But yeah, we met, you know, a long yeah, twenty-two years a golly. Midthought Eric: Sheesh. Jason: Frickin' old. Fricking old. Mid Thought Chris: buddy, we got old. Yeah, think of yeah, y'all Jason: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: are far cry from cousin-in-law more like my you know own family. So I didn't mean to go I didn't mean Jason: More like kissing cousins. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: minus Jason: Mm-hmm. Midthought Eric: You might as well be Mormon at this point. Jason: Ha ha Mid Thought Chris: Jeez, we're going all the way there. All right, here we go. All right. yeah, so Midthought Eric: What is your biggest fear in life? Mid Thought Chris: Cheese. Jason: Ooh, my pick is fear. Midthought Eric: sorry. You already passed the interview. I was looking at the interview questions. I'm sorry. you already told us about your five-year Jason: That's okay. Mid Thought Chris: Okay. Midthought Eric: plan. we're good. You we Jason: Yes, yes. Midthought Eric: you're hired. you went straight to the top of all the the heap of candidates. Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: so we don't sorry, I was looking at the wrong the wrong cheat sheet. Producer Mike, give me a updated stuff. All right. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Jason: What kind of Ricky Dick operation are we are Midthought Eric: Yeah. Jason: we running here? Mid Thought Chris: so Jason, go back to the impro lights went out. Lights went out Jason: there goes my light. Mid Thought Chris: there it's the lights went out Midthought Eric: Look! There are these lights. Jason: I'm back. Mid Thought Chris: So Jason, tell me about the improv. What is how long you been doing that? Jason: I've been doing that for almost a year. had a a friend of mine who's kind of been doing it for just about twenty some years, something like that. it's kinda like a family business deal. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Jason: And we just kinda hit it off at a at an all friends trip in good old Cancun, Mexico, Mid Thought Chris: Mm, mm. Jason: last year and he's like, Hey, you should give it a try. And so with with that I kinda had my little audition and Midthought Eric: In Spanish, huh? Mid Thought Chris: Was which audition was tougher? The one for us or that one? Jason: Yeah. See senor, I ought to be muy comico. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Jason: thank you. Thank Midthought Eric: Jueves Wancheros. Jason: you. yes. Huevos rancheros, cuesadillas. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Jason: Which is not that far from this guy's mother in law. Midthought Eric: Mm. You Mid Thought Chris: Wait, which way did I don't I don't know which way you're pointing Midthought Eric: he pointed toward not toward any of us. Jason: I'm pointing to you, Chris. I'm pointing to you. Let's just say Grand Island, New York, is not the most culturally d culturally diverse place Midthought Eric: Like who's in the corner? Jason: in the US. so yes you do. Yes, you do. so yeah. From there it was born. So yeah, we got another Mid Thought Chris: I don't know what you're talking about. Jason: we got another show coming up November nineteenth. you know, I don't Midthought Eric: will that be live streamed? Like Hassan's execution? Mid Thought Chris: Ooh, can we watch it somewhere? Jason: know. Mid Thought Chris: That's not gonna get live streamed. Golly Jeez. We're Jason: That would be great if we did that. No, I wish it was. Midthought Eric: Yeah. There's still a there's there's still a thirteen percent chance on Calci right now. Yes. Thirteen percent. Seriously. Cause Mid Thought Chris: I can't mark clip on a live show. Then it will. my gosh. Jason: Yeah, yeah. Midthought Eric: it Trump could change his mind at any time, so it it's Mid Thought Chris: E clearly. Jason: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. to be honest, if we even did do a live stream, it's at a winery, so I don't even think it would be done. I think it the the camera would be pointing the wrong direction and and so it none of it usable. It Midthought Eric: Mm. Kinda like this. Mid Thought Chris: The box wine. Midthought Eric: Mm. Jason: it w none of it would be usable. Yep, no. Yeah, pretty much. So it would be familiar to me. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Also like this, maybe? Midthought Eric: We know a thing or two about that. Nothing usable. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Midthought Eric: All right, well Jason: But yeah. Midthought Eric: hey, I would be remiss if I did not I Mid Thought Chris: Ooh. Midthought Eric: if I did not request of you, I give you permission, please speak Mid Thought Chris: boy. Midthought Eric: in your native tongue, to give us to give us a s to give us a sample of Jason: Bursky Burski Bursky Bursky Sorry. Yep, that's a Swedish. Mid Thought Chris: Was this a Swedish F. I think Midthought Eric: your stand-up. Mid Thought Chris: Oof. Midthought Eric: Maybe one or two good ones, you know, just just throw out there. See what see what sticks. Right off the cuff. Jason: S stand up. Okay. Mid Thought Chris: Stand up. Improv hey Jason: Right off the Mid Thought Chris: Eric, you know what stand up doesn't mean improv? Midthought Eric: wait, hold on, time out. Jason: Yeah. It it is not, yeah. Mid Thought Chris: So impro Eric Eric Midthought Eric: wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I know so you're like whose line is it anyway? Jason: Yes. Mid Thought Chris: He's like in Ted where they're yelling out Sag suggestions suggestions Night eleven The office is the Charlie Hebdo Midthought Eric: All right. And now now I know yes, I'm sorry. Jason: Exactly. Yeah. So Charlie Hebdo Midthought Eric: I think somebody said Starbucks. Mid Thought Chris: No one said Starbucks Jason: Yeah. No. Yeah. Midthought Eric: All right. Swing and a Miss by me. Jason: So if you're ever up here, you know, by all means give me give me the challenge. Mid Thought Chris: I am one thousand percent going to s yell out sad suggestions. Jason: Yeah. Yeah. Midthought Eric: So do you like do you like do you like that show? Jason: yeah, yeah, yeah, grew up grew up watching that. Yeah, which one? Ted or or or whose license anyway? Okay. Yes. Yep. Yep. Yep. Mid Thought Chris: Movie. whose line is it anyway? Sorry guys. Yes. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Chris Chris, follow along. Whose nice anyway? yeah. Jason: Grew up watching that. and yeah, so it's just it's fun. It's fun. I you know. Midthought Eric: Who's your favorite character in that? Jason: Ooh man. I probably have to go Colin Mockery. I feel like he was Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Midthought Eric: Mm. I know what you're saying. Jason: he was kind of the kind of the king. Just quick witted. Right on I mean, I just loved all his stuff. Yeah. Yeah, of course then you got Wayne Brady. You know, he kinda could do a little bit of everything. Yeah. Is Wayne Is Wayne Brady Midthought Eric: I'm Wayne Brady. I won't say the rest of it, 'cause you're not gonna mark the clip. So I'm Wayne Brady. All Mid Thought Chris: I can't it's live, you can't mark live. Midthought Eric: right, so I'm Wayne Brady. Jason: Yeah. Yeah. Is Wayne Brady gonna have to cut a Yeah, that was Dave Chappelle, yeah. Midthought Eric: That was Dave Chappelle. Yes. Mid Thought Chris: Hey, Jason Jason, what would you say is one of the more challenged challenging things about doing improvs? Cause like you are naturally a really funny dude, but like I like how is it like Midthought Eric: We haven't thrown them off yet, that's for sure. Mid Thought Chris: like how is that challenging? How did it like what are some what what is what are some things that surprised you about doing improv? Or is it challenging at all for you? Is it just like, yeah, this is Jason: it definitely is. yeah, I mean th just the amount of g of of games that there are in improv is ridiculous. And so, you know, I've only done three shows that this would be my fourth coming up. so they'll just Midthought Eric: Scenes from a hat. Jason: they'll just like yeah, they'll just like rattle off, Hey, we should do you know, Johnny Appleseed tripped or whatever game Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Jason: and I'm like, What what's that? And so they have to like explain it. Hey, we should do blah blah blah. And so you it's just a matter of getting to learn all the games. But inter interestingly enough, it really is dependent upon the suggestions you get from the audience. If you're if you're getting crappy suggestions, it's gonna be a crappy show, man. Super crappy. So it it it does pay to have Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. S like Starbucks, I feel like Starbucks would be a crappy suggestion. Jason: Exactly. And we've had those. so y it does pay to have like a couple of people that are somewhat humorous in the audience. Yeah, yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Planted. If you will. Jason: Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I like it 'cause the th things that make me more nervous would be like acting and remembering lines, but obviously improv there's nothing to memorize, you're just doing it. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jason: So that's Mid Thought Chris: That's awesome. Jason: Yeah. For some people that's more nerve wracking, for me it's not. So Mid Thought Chris: Kinda like yeah, kinda like jumping onto a podcast with this amount of plants. Jason: Yeah good. Yeah, you're g you got it. Midthought Eric: this is This is nothing. This is just a warm up for him. For mid thought Mid Thought Chris: This is nothing. Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: Jason. Mm-hmm. Jason: yeah. So happy to be Mid Thought Chris: Hey Eric. Jason: here and Midthought Eric: Mm-hmm. Jason: you know, lend my services, whatever those are. Mid Thought Chris: Eric Eric, Midthought Eric: Yes. Please Mid Thought Chris: I've got a question for you. Jason Jason and I had a little confession time the other day. Er Jason, I'm not sure how I feel about asking this on on Midthought Eric: He he thought I was handsome. Mid Thought Chris: live TV, but that too. but Jason, Jason: Could go for it. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: do you remember our conversation the other day about the most embarrassing Midthought Eric: Was it my hair? Mid Thought Chris: No. Do you remember that? Like the Jason: most so this wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the bathroom, would it? Mid Thought Chris: It might. Jason: Hm. Well, you know Mid Thought Chris: What do you think? You think he could handle this right now? Do you think if I asked him right now? What do you think? Jason: I'll I'll do it. Mid Thought Chris: No, no, I'm not talking about you, because we shared with each other. you might be Eric. all right, so Eric, Midthought Eric: I feel like I'm being conspired against. I feel attacked. My chicken was cold. Jason: Okay. Midthought Eric: I'm oppressed. Mid Thought Chris: Eric, you ever Jason: Speak your truth. Midthought Eric: No. Mid Thought Chris: speak your truth. Eric, What would you say is your most embarrassing poop story? Yeah. Cause Jason: Mm. Yeah. I have a pen and paper. Can you go slow? Midthought Eric: Poop story? That looks like a marker. Jason: It might be a purple pen. I have I have two daughters. Give me a break. That's all I'm that's all I'm working with, man. It was either this or markers, so Mid Thought Chris: Your most embarrassing poop story. So Eric, I'll go first. Should Midthought Eric: Hm. Mid Thought Chris: I go first? I don't know if I want to go first. Jason: Sure. I d if you want, I will. Mid Thought Chris: Go ahead. Go Jason: Okay. All right. So here we go. It was it was a cold and lonely early morning. No, I won't go that far. so I do like to walk in the mornings before work. Yeah, sorry. It's hard to turn off. Midthought Eric: He's still trying to improv on us. Mid Thought Chris: No, he's doing great. Jason: so I do like to walk in the mornings Midthought Eric: That's what she said. Jason: before I go to work and just I'm with d just myself and my thoughts. And Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Midthought Eric: He's a he is a PTO at work, which is like a what did you say, Chris? Wha what was that? A p No, it was f Mid Thought Chris: I'm not gonna repeat what I said. I'm not gonna Jason: I am not a paid time off. I take I Midthought Eric: it was Jason: I take paid time off, but I'm not a don't call me a PTO. I'm not paid time off. Midthought Eric: No, that's not what Chris said. Chris said something else. Proceed, please. Jason: so I take a work I take a little walk before work, kind of get the get the juices flowing. a bit foreshadowing there. And more so I Mid Thought Chris: Juices flowing hmm. Jason: kinda go up on this walk, I'll go about 15 minutes away from the house and then just turn right back and come in. So it's a nice 30 minute walk. We're all good. you know. And lately, about so just about when I'm farthest away. from the house is Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Mm. Jason: where the poop's rapping at the door, so to speak. Midthought Eric: Hmm. The sphincter relaxes. Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Jason: Yeah, and for that last 15 minutes I am I mean it it is D-Day. you know, it is I'm on the beach in Normandy. I'm trying Midthought Eric: Strength strength training. Jason: to hold back the Germans that is my my my Midthought Eric: We're gonna blow. Jason: poop. We want to come out and Mid Thought Chris: Yeah, yeah. Jason: And so needless to say, fast forward, I didn't make it. I there was a I would equate it to a turtle head amount of excrement Midthought Eric: An an accident. A mut a muddy turtle head. Mid Thought Chris: Hm. Jason: that breached the dams. And Midthought Eric: Hmm. That's rough. Jason: so it's early in the morning, nobody's awake. I can't go in and take a shower, I'll wake everybody up. So what I had to Mid Thought Chris: Mm, mm. Jason: do Like you wash your dog outside, I had to drop trow and hose myself off outside in the backyard. Midthought Eric: Was it daylight time or still dark? Jason: It was still dark, thankfully, because everything was out there, baby. So Mid Thought Chris: that's good. That is But if you were walking Midthought Eric: You cut a break. Mid Thought Chris: in if like let's say I was in the backyard Midthought Eric: You cut a break. Mid Thought Chris: letting the dog out, you know, and I was your neighbor, you would have been like, Jason: If anybody was outside if Yeah. If either of my neighbors Midthought Eric: It's a full moon tonight. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah, yeah. Jason: went out went out to their backyard at any point they would have had free show of me just Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Midthought Eric: Maybe they did. Maybe there's a video out there somewhere on OnlyFans and they've made a lot of money off of you. Mid Thought Chris: Look. I think I got it. Jason: I think I got it. Maybe they Midthought Eric: Yeah. Jason: could at least give give me a cut of that. Jeez. so yeah. Mid Thought Chris: So Eric, I perce Midthought Eric: I promise you we'll give you a cut of this episode. Mid Thought Chris: whatever we take in, you'll get a little bit of it. Jason: Yes. Midthought Eric: I can't. Mid Thought Chris: A cut. Jason: Yes. Yeah. Midthought Eric: What's a cut of zero? Okay, Jason: I think I owe Midthought Eric: you Jason: money on that. Mid Thought Chris: Hmm. so Eric I proceeded Midthought Eric: Poof. Mid Thought Chris: to I did not see this cut going this way, but you know here we are. Midthought Eric: Well you brought it up. Mid Thought Chris: I did, but I I I think Midthought Eric: How many people are watching right now? Mid Thought Chris: I don't think there's any. I think you would see it up on the top there, right? Jason: Are we up to one now? Mid Thought Chris: Where's the one? Midthought Eric: We don't have any. Mid Thought Chris: Would it be like Jason: Daddy wants one. Midthought Eric: Not even your steady brother. Mid Thought Chris: My brother? No, my brother's hanging on a beach. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Not even producer Mike. Mid Thought Chris: Which one? What do you mean? Midthought Eric: What? he's here, never mind. See while we go live, Jason, it it's so much better we have all these people with us. Mid Thought Chris: No, 'cause th Jason: Yeah, yeah. Mid Thought Chris: the good thing about going live is that you know, you c there's like you don't have to like go through and edit. Ooh. Look. easier, never mind. It Midthought Eric: You get what you get. Mid Thought Chris: is live right now. Does it say one up top or anything? Does it say one up top? Midthought Eric: no. Jason: I I don't have my readers on. I can't see. Mid Thought Chris: It doesn't say one up there. No. I don't know. good thing about going live is that Midthought Eric: It doesn't because you're already logged in, dummy. Mid Thought Chris: I think there's like you don't have to like it's a little bit behind. Okay, cool. Anyway, So Eric. I Midthought Eric: Yes. Mid Thought Chris: shared my story following Jason's Midthought Eric: Okay. Mid Thought Chris: and I expect you to follow in turn. Okay. Midthought Eric: Ooh, I have a worser I have a worser one. Mid Thought Chris: A worser one. Okay, so let me Jason: Hmm. Lovely. Mid Thought Chris: can I finish? Can I finish? Midthought Eric: If let's let's be honest. Jason: Can finish. Can Mid Thought Chris: let's be honest, let's be honest. so Midthought Eric: Phew. Mine's real bad. Mid Thought Chris: Prior to moving to Pennsylvania, Eric, so this would have been a long time ago. Midthought Eric: Before you met me. Mid Thought Chris: before we met, this is B E before Eric. so before Eric, I drove around in a commercial truck, and I won't tell you what kind of truck, because that would narrow down and you know determine, you know I'll text you later. Midthought Eric: Text me later. Call me maybe. Mid Thought Chris: so I drove around a commercial truck and Midthought Eric: Look, there are these did it transform? Mid Thought Chris: I it was there were these trucks Jason: Jim Palmer trucking. It's Jim Palmer. Midthought Eric: Did it transform? Mid Thought Chris: It's Shin Baller. Wasn't he a pitcher? so anyway, I was driving Jason: Just. Mid Thought Chris: this commercial truck and I you know some of the times it was like a longer a longer drive, you know what I'm saying? And so Midthought Eric: I know what you're saying. You gotta keep asking. Mid Thought Chris: I pulled up to like a really a Jason: Trucks drive a long way, so I hear. Mid Thought Chris: really n it was like a sixty like a twenty-six foot, you know, box truck, if you will. If you will. I pulled up you know, backed into like a like a really nice industrial park or not industrial park, but industrial park. Midthought Eric: So your backup skills were real good at the time, right? Mid Thought Chris: Not industrial park, but like office, you know, kind of office space. And as soon as I hit that back like the the dock, I was like, I don't think I'm going to make it. And so I hit park and I I knew that problems were afoot. And so Midthought Eric: A foot, very nice, said Jason: Mm, Mid Thought Chris: And so Jason: yes. Mid Thought Chris: I you know quickly put it in park, got out of the truck and had I felt Midthought Eric: So you didn't feel any grumblings before this, like it just hit? Mid Thought Chris: a lot of grumblings. There was a lot of grumblings. Jason: okay. Midthought Eric: Was Taco Bell involved at all? Mid Thought Chris: Taco Bell was not, but that time in my life, I think there was so I was younger, I was on the younger side, I was you know early twenties, and so it was probably coffee and donuts and all sorts of like nonsense, but I was like probably a hundred and fifty pounds. because it was jumping in and out of this truck all day. But Midthought Eric: Jump it in and out. Mid Thought Chris: so stuff was rumbling and you Midthought Eric: Hmm. Mid Thought Chris: know got out of the truck and you know it it it had already it had already gone down. And so I had to walk into this office park and Midthought Eric: It's going down. Mid Thought Chris: you know found my way to the bathroom and of course, you know the box of shorts are toast. You know they're they're immediately you know you're like you assess the situation, you're like Midthought Eric: Were they sharded upon? Mid Thought Chris: you assess this situation you're like these are not these are I these Jason: I think more than that, I think we're yeah, that ship had sailed. Mid Thought Chris: are no longer you know viable options right now so these are going to go instead instead instead Midthought Eric: It's like when you're potty training a two or three year old, right? Like, that pair of underwear's gone. Mid Thought Chris: your early twenties and you're pulling into a really nice office park and you have to somehow Midthought Eric: Mm-hmm. Mid Thought Chris: figure out how to you know go about the rest of your day with Midthought Eric: You have to shimmy your way in. Mid Thought Chris: emphasis on the shimmy. so yeah you you i it It ended up being you know, boxers are gone and I I really do think we were talking about this, Jason and I were talking about this, my wife and I were talking about this. I really do think the one and only thing that the West really needs to kind of you know, figure out is the bidet. 'Cause I think I think I think Jason: Yes. The bidet. Think about it. Mid Thought Chris: think about it, Eric. Eric, Midthought Eric: I'm gonna take that for action. Mid Thought Chris: I want you to think about this. Midthought Eric: Okay. I'm thinking. Mid Thought Chris: What do we how do we think that some like super thin paper Midthought Eric: I know what you're gonna say. I know this is going. Mid Thought Chris: is going to clean you better than, you know, a good like twice over like Jason: Just sp spastically just wiping over that area with some with some paper? No. Mid Thought Chris: Right. With some frickin' sandpaper. Midthought Eric: Mm-hmm. Mid Thought Chris: How do we think that it's going to like clean you? And why Midthought Eric: Yeah, yeah. Mid Thought Chris: would you not you know why would you not shoot a jet up there so that you actually get some torque on, you know, Midthought Eric: Yes. Mid Thought Chris: on cleaning you out, right? Get some Jason: PSI PSI in the pooper. Mid Thought Chris: PSI Not too much there, Jason. It is it is it is very much exit only, but I would like to suggest that the area could be cleaned you know a heck of a lot better than you know, some rough sandpaper. And golly, if you go into some of these places, like you know, some theme parks that I've been to recently, they won't be named. Disney. you know, some of the toilet paper is so thin. Like, can we invest? I know that you're running through like, you know, Midthought Eric: Well that's one good thing I'll say about Hershey Park. They are sponsored by Scott's toilet paper and there's a s there's a spot on. Toilet paper's the best. Mid Thought Chris: Hershey Parks Hershey Parks toilet paper is also dog crap, no pun intended, so I don't I don't even want to Midthought Eric: No no Mid Thought Chris: hear it. Same same thin nonsense. Midthought Eric: I'd put their toilet paper up against anybody's. Mid Thought Chris: I I I will see. Midthought Eric: Even six flags over Georgia. Mid Thought Chris: too soon, buddy. Jason: Whoa whoa Whoa Okay let's let's just calm down We're we're only 29 minutes into this Dang Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Jason: Them's fightin' words. Them's fighting words, son So Midthought Eric: I'm sorry, I just say what comes to mind, it gets me in trouble every time. Jason: So they must be using not just the not just the bare level general Scott. They must be using that comfort plus Scott. Mid Thought Chris: Hershey is not don't listen to him, he's lying. Midthought Eric: It's it's spot on. Like our toilet paper is the best. I'd I'd put that up against anybody. Any theme park. Mid Thought Chris: He's lying. But anyway, get in there, boxers go away, and somehow Midthought Eric: And our chocolate. Mid Thought Chris: like have to figure out because I my day wasn't done. Like I still had to finish out the day. And it Midthought Eric: What colour were the boxers? Mid Thought Chris: Brown most definitely like Midthought Eric: Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Mid Thought Chris: that one Jason: You don't say. Midthought Eric: It was cow cowhide pattern. Jason: Little bit of red slotches. Mid Thought Chris: hurt Jason: We'll d well we'll talk about that later, but you know. Mid Thought Chris: but yeah, so definitely had to be Midthought Eric: Hmm. Mid Thought Chris: creative and you know puts Jason: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: I cause you don't want your as we deter as we've already discussed, like you can't get, you know, completely cleaned with just, you know, a piece of sandpaper. So you gotta you gotta, Jason: No, you can't. Mid Thought Chris: you know, throw in some, you know, sandpaper that, you know, so that your pants aren't directly in contact with your nastiness. And Midthought Eric: Nassias. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Jason, did I leave out any details? I shared, you know, that with the other day, like what Jason: No, that's pretty much the meat and potatoes of it. Yeah, I would say. so for the rest of the work day No. So so for the rest of the day you're you're going sans Mid Thought Chris: Meat and potatoes. Not corn that day. I don't think corn that day. Otherwise I would have seen it. can we talk c real quick? Jason: boxers. You're just going straight up pants. You're going commando. Mid Thought Chris: Jerry, I'm out there and loving every minute not loving every minute of it, but yeah. Midthought Eric: And I'm free Free Ballin. Mid Thought Chris: yeah, so the rest of the day, sandsboxers just out there not loving it, definitely self-conscious. Like every now and again you're like no. And you know, no one said anything, so I mean Midthought Eric: Where'd the boxers go? What'd you do with those? Mid Thought Chris: garbage. wrapped them up in the Jason: Mail mailbox. Midthought Eric: Mm-hmm. Jason: Outgoing mail. Midthought Eric: Curb curb of the seven eleven. Mid Thought Chris: outgoing mail. Straight straight to Taco Bell Jason: Come on in. don't mind those. Midthought Eric: Taco Bell Taca Bell. Okay. Mid Thought Chris: yeah, so that is our most embarrassing stories. Eric, what say you? Midthought Eric: Whew. Mm. Ha, brah. Jason: New crap in a bra? Midthought Eric: Mm, yes. But that's not the worst one. Yes. Mid Thought Chris: Did it look like that? Jason: Kuda. Kuda. Kudos to you. That's some s talk about P S I. How do you get it up there that that that that high? Pew Okay. Midthought Eric: Well, I didn't think I'd be asked this question ever. but this is a this is a safe place, right? Like we're in the tree, the tree of trust. Jason: Yeah. Speak your truth, hon. Speak your truth. Okay? Mid Thought Chris: Yeah, Tree of Trust. S certainly don't have eight million people watching right now. Midthought Eric: so I can talk about the the waitress at Olive Garden? Mid Thought Chris: boy. okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Jason: That's up to you, my friend. Midthought Eric: Come on, it's old school. All right. Most of my references, most of my references are old school or Tropic Thunder or the Hangover. Or the office. Usually the office. Mid Thought Chris: Very well. I that's fair, that's fair. Jason: Okay, okay. I gotcha. Midthought Eric: anyways, I had a really bad poopy accident. not too long ago, like two or three years ago. And I've never told anybody Mid Thought Chris: Hmm. When was this? Okay. Midthought Eric: this. Jason: Mm-hmm. Midthought Eric: Nobody knows this. Mid Thought Chris: I'm leaning in. Midthought Eric: not even my dear wife. only me and the Lord. This is between me and the Lord. Mid Thought Chris: Actually that was the first time I had ever shared that the other day with Jason as well. So I'm I'm right there with you. Midthought Eric: it's listen, I'm just Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: I'm gonna be vulnerable, okay, because I feel like I feel like I leave my privilege at the door and I'm gonna be vulnerable right now. and I'm just gonna be honest with everybody. Okay, so for the what do we have? 1200 1200 viewers right now. for the 1200 1200 something. Well it's it's up there. I had Mid Thought Chris: I don't know. Where do you see that number? I don't see a number. Okay, cool. boy. Midthought Eric: this is a true story. Look, not a joke, not a joke. Mid Thought Chris: Not a joke. Midthought Eric: I went to an airport two or three years ago on a Saturday evening. Mid Thought Chris: Is this when you came down here? This when you came down here? Okay, okay. Cause I didn't smell anything when you came down here. I feel like I would have been Midthought Eric: Maybe Friday evening. No, no, no. this was about Mid Thought Chris: I feel like I would have been able to know. Midthought Eric: I went to this airport about mm ten o'clock AM when I was actually at the airport. And, Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Okay. Midthought Eric: you know, it was one of those like sometimes you get a lot of warning signs, sometimes you get one or two warning signs. Okay. Depending on depending on how fast things are moving. Mid Thought Chris: It's just go time. But yeah. Midthought Eric: apparently I was moving pretty quickly that day. And there's nothing I can like put my finger on it no pun intended. to like that like what made me feel this way, okay. I don't know what I don't know what happened. but yeah, I was driving to the airport and I will not say the airport because I think it's still fresh enough, no pun intended, that they could still look back on their security cams and find me. Okay. So I'm not gonna Mid Thought Chris: Might be able to do a DNA test. Okay. Midthought Eric: identify the airport, but Mid Thought Chris: But does it rhyme Midthought Eric: I was I was up Mid Thought Chris: with does it rhyme with Schmagerstown? Okay. Okay, so that means it rhymes with that means it rhymes with Schmaltimore. Continue, sorry. Midthought Eric: No, it's not that. well maybe it is. Maybe it is. It it could be. Look, I was on the way to this airport and on the way there I was like, mm, that was a that was a cramp. That was a that was a cramp. ooh, Mid Thought Chris: I feel something gurgling. Midthought Eric: ooh, yeah. I mean it's bubbling, right? Jason: Yeah, bubble cuts. Midthought Eric: I'll just skip to the climax, right? That's what you always want. I Jason: Please. Midthought Eric: I pull into the parking I pull into the parking garage and I'm like I'm thinking to myself, you know, your mind starts wondering and you're like, there's no public bathroom anywhere around here. Mid Thought Chris: This is not gonna work out in my favor. Midthought Eric: I have to go from this garage to a shuttle into the airport and then wherever the closest one is. so I'm I'm going in Mid Thought Chris: He was at Baltimore. Midthought Eric: and I'm like on my way. And I'm going up the going up this the spirally Mid Thought Chris: Hmm. Midthought Eric: garage stuff, you know? And and I'm like I'm like Mid Thought Chris: I know what you're saying. Jason: Waddling. Waddling, most likely. Mid Thought Chris: Waddling. Midthought Eric: I'm like, mm, no. at this point I'm still driving. I'm like, mm. Yeah, Mid Thought Chris: Whoa, you're still driving. Midthought Eric: there's nowhere to park. Mid Thought Chris: I thought you were already in the shuttle. Midthought Eric: N no. Jason: I thought you were driving one of those card around old people thing in in the in the airport. okay. Midthought Eric: I was still in my car. I was driving I was driving Mid Thought Chris: it's like five. Midthought Eric: to the driving to the parking garage. And I'm like, well, Mid Thought Chris: Mm, trying to find a spot. Midthought Eric: right now the only place that's available is on the roof. I'm still like, there's a Jason: I know. Midthought Eric: chance, there's a small chance I might make it, or I'll put myself on the tram. Like, there's nothing in between. Right? So I I'm going I'm going all the way up to the roof. That's the only place they put me. And Jason: man. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: I know where this is going. I don't know how I feel about it. no. no. Jason: To the roof. Midthought Eric: It's when I put that thing in park that I realize it's now or never, baby. so I'm looking around, looking around like a like a James Mid Thought Chris: my gosh. Midthought Eric: Bond, right? Like double O seven. I'm like, where am I gonna go? and I try to find the most the most obscure spot I can find, which is a corner on the roof, and you know, did do what I have to do. You can imagine, you can visualize on your own. Jason: Nice. So unless unless Midthought Eric: But Jason: you carry toilet paper in your in your pocket, Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Jason: what are you wiping with? You're not wiping. Midthought Eric: Well, actually, that's a good Mid Thought Chris: You're Midthought Eric: point. so I did I did I I realized Mid Thought Chris: Point counterpoint. Midthought Eric: I realized okay, this is coming out before I got out of car. So I did grab some napkins out of the glove box. And well, n Mid Thought Chris: That is fortuitous that you had napkins in the glove box. Midthought Eric: yeah, I'm always well prepared. I got a three year old, you know. Jason: The Lord Mid Thought Chris: I mean I've got I've got I've Jason: provides, the Lord provides. Mid Thought Chris: got daughters and so often like the the the to the the napkins that I had in the glove compartment are gone. You know what I mean? So fortuitous that you had some, you know what I'm saying? Midthought Eric: Yeah. Yeah. I know what you're saying. Yeah, I had some and I grabbed them and I went and I was like, I don't know where this is gonna go, but I know what's gonna happen. Mid Thought Chris: You went in the corner of a of a parking lot. Is that what you're telling me right now? Is that what I'm hearing from you? Midthought Eric: At the very top on the roof of a parking garage. Mid Thought Chris: of this parking garage that shall not be named. I mean, Midthought Eric: In broad daylight Mid Thought Chris: in broad daylight. Jason: I was gonna say this is yeah, yeah. Midthought Eric: at like ten or eleven o'clock in the morning. And I Mid Thought Chris: Hmm. Midthought Eric: just dropped him. And luckily it was pretty cold, so, you know. 'cause it was like January or something. And Mid Thought Chris: What what is the cold reference? I'm not I'm not I'm not I don't know what you mean. Midthought Eric: Well, that that means they didn't have to see my downstairs or anything. and then also it didn't smell that bad because like, you know, if if if if you're if you're Yeah, but I'm I'm Jason: It was pretty well shrunk in the cold weather. Mid Thought Chris: okay. so they were hiding. They were up in the stomach region. I got you. Okay, cool. Midthought Eric: also talking about the excrement, okay? Because if if you're pooping if you're pooping in July, it's gonna it's gonna be rank. Okay. If you're pooping in the freezing, it's like mm, that smells, but it's it's frozen now. Mid Thought Chris: it's yeah, it's it's gonna it's I don't really know, so it's frozen. Midthought Eric: well you you Jason: It's just like a popsicle, it's fun. Yeah. Midthought Eric: You were in Buffalo for a while, so you know how it goes. but yeah, I I look, I Mid Thought Chris: I do. I've never yeah. That's Midthought Eric: I never thought I'd have to answer this question, but I'm just being vulnerable right now. I'm reaching out and showing everybody that you can you can be a you can be your own person. I pooped right Mid Thought Chris: I I I I am so grateful that you've shared your truth today. Midthought Eric: on the right on the roof, right in the parking lot between two cars. and it was a lot. So whenever they came back to their car, it was a lot, dude. Mid Thought Chris: It was a lot? That was actually a good that's a good follow up question. So what did Midthought Eric: Yeah, yeah. Mid Thought Chris: you end up doing? Did you just kind of was there a Midthought Eric: I threw the toilet paper on and and left as soon as I could. Mid Thought Chris: So was there like a pla did you have a Jason: Yeah. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: plastic bag in the car, maybe, that you could have like Midthought Eric: No. Nope. It was just it was like, you know, like at that point you're you're basically a squirrel or a raccoon or something. Like you're just pooping. Mid Thought Chris: So you didn't Jason: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: have a plastic bag in the car? Midthought Eric: No, and if I did I wouldn't pick it up anyways. What am I gonna do with it? Mid Thought Chris: I mean I have a dog and that's what I do every day. Midthought Eric: Okay, well mine was way worse than a dog, okay? Like mine was a like a shot out mud pie. Mid Thought Chris: Your dog weighs three pounds. My dog weighs seventy, so Midthought Eric: No. Jackson weighs thirty eight. Jason: Let's be honest, this was Baltimore. Nobody noticed the smell. That's how it smells there. Midthought Eric: Let's be honest. Mid Thought Chris: Let's be honest, it is Baltimore and no one cares. It's there's another one. Who's gonna turn away? Jason: It was another day. They're like, well, there's another pile of crap. All right, who's going to terminal A? Midthought Eric: Yes. It was Baltimore. All the cameras all the cameras focus Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: on Baltimore. That's where it was. Mid Thought Chris: Interesting. Midthought Eric: but yeah, that that stuff, I mean, it was it was pretty loose. I mean, it was it was cramped, right? So some of it just ran down, right, into the sewer drain or whatever, and some of it Mid Thought Chris: it travelled. Midthought Eric: some of it just sat there. so Jason: So we're talking Mid Thought Chris: Huh. Jason: hybrid diarrhea or this is foreign? Midthought Eric: It was a complete blowout, man. Just a little bit of everything. Like a volcano. Jason: Blowout. Okay. Mid Thought Chris: Do you think there do you think there was shrapnel on any of your pants? Like did you Okay, so was this splash Jason: Splash backsplash. Mid Thought Chris: zone? Midthought Eric: yeah. Every everybody got it. Mid Thought Chris: No no no. Did you splash it on any of your clothes? Midthought Eric: I don't think. I mean Mid Thought Chris: Did you have to jump onto a plane after this or was this Midthought Eric: We could never be sure. Mid Thought Chris: or was this coming home? Midthought Eric: No, that was going, that was the first thing, man. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: so then you gotta go you gotta go roll up to the bar and pretend like you didn't just crap out in the parking lot. Like yeah, give me a Jason: Yeah, so where's everybody going? Midthought Eric: I don't go to the bar at eleven thirty in the morning, Chris. What do you think I am? Mid Thought Chris: I mean Yeah, me neither. Jason: Baltimore. I mean I don't know. It's Baltimore. People do it. Mid Thought Chris: I Midthought Eric: listen, I I will say this. dude. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: airport rules. Airports have different ru Eric, airports have different rules. You know you know this clearly. You pooped in the the top floor of a of a of a parking garage. So I mean there's there is different rules. So I think you can I think Midthought Eric: parking garage. It was an open open lot all the way in the top in the corner. Mid Thought Chris: you can go have a beverage at eleven thirty. Midthought Eric: Yeah, dude, the airport is the only place you can like actually normally drink a mimosa and a vodka or whatever you want at like seven at at seven in the morning. And they're like Yeah, Mid Thought Chris: Yeah, any time of day. Any time of day. No rules whatsoever. Midthought Eric: they're like, yeah, do you want a double? You do you want an extra splash on that? Mid Thought Chris: Y just s straight up debauchery, yes. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Jason: I feel like at that point Midthought Eric: no that was Jason: you would have earned it. I mean, your day didn't start the way that you thought it was going to. And it started pretty pretty stressful, so I I feel like you earned it. Midthought Eric: Thank you. Thank you, Jason. Thank you. If I had done that, I would Mid Thought Chris: A thousand percent. You earned you earned Midthought Eric: have deserved it, but I did not. Mid Thought Chris: whatever you drank that day. A hundred percent. And we are here for you. We we support you. We stand with you in solidarity. And we are Midthought Eric: Thank you. Thank you. And that night and the next week. Thank you. We are fellow survivors. Jason: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: we are fellow survivors. I Midthought Eric: Yeah, dude, I I'm telling you what, man, it was between two cars and if if any of them ever went near that, they would be like, that's a really bad animal poop. what kind of animal was that? Mid Thought Chris: Whoa, what I'm in Baltimore, I guess. Jason: Somebody got a really crappy welcome to Baltimore when they came back. Hit that applause, Mike. Midthought Eric: Yep, there were some there were some napkin there were some Chick-fil-A napkins on top. Jason: Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Midthought Eric: Yeah, there Mid Thought Chris: All Midthought Eric: were some napkins on top, it was a little pile. Yeah. So Mid Thought Chris: right. It was some napkins. Okay, so littering was in play as well, but you know we again again we stand with you, we support you. We stand with you, we support you, Midthought Eric: Yeah. Well it was right next to the syringes that were already there, so we're fine. And the empty bottles. Jason: You organize it. You And the passed out guy next to it. Yeah. whoa hey man. Mid Thought Chris: we're with you. Yes. That's a good one. I give it out an eight point two. Midthought Eric: There was a tent camp on the other side. We're good. They're like, what you got over there? That smells good. Is there any menthol in there? Jason: Nice job, man Saw the whole thing, good work. Yeah. Midthought Eric: Yes. But thank you for that. It was a chance for me to to get that off my chest because I've been repressing that memory. and I've only talked to that with my counselor. And now it's now it's public. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. I know you've been holding that for so long, Eric, and I notes out for everyone to hear. Jason: We listen and we don't judge. That's that should be our motto. We listen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: We Yes. Midthought Eric: Thank you. You whisper later, but you you don't judge right now. All right. Mid Thought Chris: so good. So good. All right. Midthought Eric: So so good. So stunning. So terrific. Mid Thought Chris: Jason, Jason: Yes. Mid Thought Chris: I think the guest of honor you get to s Midthought Eric: You were the guest of honor. What's that shirt say? Jason: Thank you. Mid Thought Chris: ooh Jason: this is my Jayhawks. My Jayhawks hire Midthought Eric: Champions of something. must have been basketball. That's the only thing I can play, 'cause they're all Mid Thought Chris: Higher high higher higher higher Midthought Eric: they're all white. That's the only thing I can play. Mid Thought Chris: What what did you just say? Jason: Yeah, well no, there was actually a a fair amount of people that aren't white that were on the team. People of color. People of people of rich color. Mid Thought Chris: I don't I I can't do it. I have I'm not gonna hit the button right now. I staring me right at the face, but I'm not gonna hit the button. The self-control that I am showing right now can't do it. Alright, there it is. Jason: It's very Midthought Eric: Good job, Chris. So Kansas won a a championship. Jason: Back in twenty twenty two, yes, yes. Hoping No. Mid Thought Chris: Back in eighty two, I used to be able to throw a pig skin a quarter mile. Jason: Quarter mile, yeah. Midthought Eric: Four years ago. Jason: These people throw a pigskin over their mountains. yeah. Midthought Eric: Four years. Good job. Mid Thought Chris: Alright, so Jason, you had some things that you're the guest of honor. You had some Jason: Okay. Yes. Mid Thought Chris: observations on life, some things that I think you wanted get off your chest. not not the poop not Midthought Eric: I see it on your chest. Get it off of there. Mid Thought Chris: the poop story. that was Jason: Same with your chest. sorry. Midthought Eric: Come at me, bro. Hold me back. Hold me back. Jason: Sorry. That was that was the Kans City, Missouri part of me. Sorry about that. Mid Thought Chris: Just happens. It's it's just Jason: well I've yet again, I think the yeah. Okay. Midthought Eric: Time out, time out, time out, time out. Before we get too far into this. Sorry. I don't mean to I don't mean to be a buzzkill. Jason: Okay. Midthought Eric: and I don't mean to get too far into this be but I know there's a live audience right now. I know that there are a lot a lot of people listening. And for Mid Thought Chris: Live. A lot of people. Jason: Yes. Yes. Midthought Eric: all those who are sacrificing other activities to listen to us, I'm gonna give a game update. The the Tampa Bay Rays are leading Mid Thought Chris: Ooh, Tampa. Tampa Bay Race. Yes. Midthought Eric: the Cleveland Guardians, whatever that means. three to nothing off of a stellar pitching performance Jason: Wardianess. Midthought Eric: from Phenom Freddie Peralta, whoever that is. Jason: Parrata. Midthought Eric: Apparently Apparently this Freddie Peralta guy got got traded from s hold on, he got he used to be a Met, apparently. He sucked with the Mets. but he's awesome right now. And Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Midthought Eric: so anyways, he's pitching a two a two a two hitter right now. Two hitter. so I just wanted to before he got too involved there, Jason, I I wanted to update the audience because I know I know they're Jason: Most people suck with the Mets. Sorry, Chris. Sorry, Chris. Mid Thought Chris: True. It's very true. A two hitter. Dude, I a Jason every bit of that deserved Midthought Eric: I know that they are sacrificing their time to listen to us and and tune into us. And so I just Mid Thought Chris: Mm. They're totally not watching that game. Midthought Eric: I wanted to let them know that the the razor up three nothing. they're they're twelve outs away from a World Series trip. Thank you. Please proceed. Mid Thought Chris: s thank you for thank you for that. Jason: Well and I make fun of the Mets and my it's not like my Braves are in it either, so you know, it is what it is. So kudos. Midthought Eric: So like in Kansas, who's the team in Kansas? Mid Thought Chris: Jason Midthought Eric: Like no nobody plays around Kansas. What is it like Oklahoma City? No, there's no Oklahoma City team. Kansas City Royals. You did. I remember that. Jason: The the Royals we did win in twenty fifteen. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Hmm. That wouldn't hurt. That wouldn't hurt. Was that was that Aaron Heilman, the pitcher who gave up that bomb to was that Hosmer? Was that was that was that the Mets? Yeah, yeah. That was Jason: Hm. Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right. Mid Thought Chris: I followed a I followed the Mets a little bit more closely than I do now. Midthought Eric: That was a great story. Mid Thought Chris: So like I don't follow at all right now, but back then definitely followed a little bit more closely. Midthought Eric: You're just so jaded. Mid Thought Chris: Eric, I am. I'm a jaded, broken old man. Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: Well, they had the second highest payroll in baseball and they had That was me in the airport parking lot. Mid Thought Chris: And did a whole lot of that. Jason: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, really. Mid Thought Chris: That was incredible. Midthought Eric: All right. Sorry, Mid Thought Chris: All right, Jason. Midthought Eric: please, you have the floor. Jason: Yeah. Well, I feel like Mid Thought Chris: You have the floor. Jason: as I guess the word of the day is fortuitous, I Mid Thought Chris: Mm, mm. Jason: did have I wanna get your guys' take. Are you public poopers or do you gotta go home to do your business? Are you gonna w are you gonna be one of those Mid Thought Chris: That's a great question. Jason: people to wait all day and then do it at home in the comfort and tranquility of your own toilet, or are you gonna just gonna do it anywhere? Mid Thought Chris: Jason, did you have this do you have this on the schedule without even, you know, what we talked about earlier? Jason: I had this on the schedule. It is divine intervention. That can be Mid Thought Chris: It's amazing. Praise be. Jason: the only it can be the the only way. Midthought Eric: He did say he did say fortuitous. Yeah. All right. Mid Thought Chris: Praise be. Praise be. Eric you first. I know my answer, but you first. Jason: I did say fortuitous, yeah, if you were listening. Midthought Eric: I would prefer to do it at home. I always have the classic like on your way home from a big trip and when you're like ten miles from home, it's just cramping up and ready to go. and Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Midthought Eric: there have been there have been many a long trip home with Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Midthought Eric: with the kids that are fussy and the dogs that need Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Midthought Eric: out and all this other stuff that needs to be done. Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Mm-hmm. Midthought Eric: And I l I look at my I look at my main girl and I'm like, hey, Mid Thought Chris: It's code time. Midthought Eric: I'm not gonna be any help for the next twenty minutes. And I will I will Jason: Daddy's dad Daddy's gonna need all the focus he can muster. Midthought Eric: I will s I will speed home, hope a cop doesn't catch me. I will literally start unbuckle Chris, contain yourself. I will loosen my belt Mid Thought Chris: H Midthought Eric: and get my pants ready. All right. Mid Thought Chris: Tell me more. Keep going. Midthought Eric: I will just I will do whatever I can to get out of that car and just sprint and hope it makes it. so that's that's the preferred that's the preferred method. Jason: Waddle Waddle Sprint. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Waddle. Mm-hmm. Jason: boy. Midthought Eric: and that's usually what happens. But Mid Thought Chris: Do you have a place that you won't go? Jason: Mm. Midthought Eric: no I have not I have not noticed that. Mid Thought Chris: Okay. Jason: I am of the Midthought Eric: I've I'm a pretty fair I'm pretty fair sp I spread it out pretty good. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Just open. I Jason: You don't you don't discriminate. Mid Thought Chris: mean, yeah, parking lot and then on to actual bathrooms. Desperate times call for deaf desperate measures. You gotta get these guys. Midthought Eric: Well, that was a that was an emergency. That's the the only time that's ever happened. Yeah. I mean you gotta go. I mean, actually so Chris, I think I told you this before and so I'll I'll just reiterate to the audience because I know some of them are new listeners, so everybody out there who hasn't tuned in before, Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Hundred percent. Midthought Eric: one of my problems, one of my main weaknesses with hunting deer in the woods is that I just I had to poop. and I I Mid Thought Chris: Ooh. Yep. I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. Midthought Eric: can't help it. Right around Usually right around eight, nine, eight or nine, maybe ten o'clock at the latest, I gotta go. Mid Thought Chris: Hm. Yeah. Midthought Eric: so that usually involves Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: getting down from the tree stand or wherever I am and just completely scaring off whatever chance I have a deer for the next day. and I I can't do it. I Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. S Yep, yep, yep. Jason: That's the worst. You screwed up your hunt. It's done. It's done. Midthought Eric: can't do it. I've tried, man. I've tried not drinking coffee, I've tried not eating, I've tried all this different stuff so I can just stay Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Midthought Eric: in my stand for till like ten o'clock. Just ten o'clock. Mid Thought Chris: Mm-hmm. Midthought Eric: and every time I'm like, there's that little feeling, I'm gonna deny that. I'm gonna reject that in the name of Christ. I'm gonna reject that th that feeling, Mid Thought Chris: Ha ha ha ha. Midthought Eric: right? And I'm like, Nope, Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: that's another one, it's getting tighter. And then literally maybe three minutes later, I'm I'm climbing down real quick from the tree stand. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Midthought Eric: and I'm just I'm just Jason: I had to stop drinking coffee too, in the morning. That that has I would say that that has worked. but man, Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Jason: yeah, it's a real it's a real problem. It is. Midthought Eric: Thank you, Jason. there are other there Mid Thought Chris: I c I cannot, I cannot. I I I I I don't think I think this Midthought Eric: are the other survivors out there. I didn't I there should be a group for us. Jason: Yeah. I'm with you. I'm with you, bro. Stay strong. Mid Thought Chris: is this might be where I dissent, you know, from the from I I'm I dissent. Midthought Eric: Dissent. I dissent Mid Thought Chris: because I don't think there's a world in which I would give up coffee. I just don't think I don't I don't think I can do it. Hunting or not, Midthought Eric: So I've I've tried it Mid Thought Chris: like I'll go I I I don't think I could do it ever. Midthought Eric: I've I've tried a few different things. So there was there was a point in my life, and and again, I'm being very vulnerable. nobody's known this stuff about me. Mid Thought Chris: I appreciate you sharing your truth. Midthought Eric: when I do like the fresh bean coffee, like that's the first thing that runs through me. Okay. I Jason: Mm, mm. Mid Thought Chris: Like the real coffee. Midthought Eric: can slow it yeah. I can slow it down a little bit if I use a K cup or something, you know, like the cheap stuff. Mid Thought Chris: What is going on with your stomach? Midthought Eric: and then I was like, Well, this is this is a a huge problem between my my hunting style and my Mid Thought Chris: Hmm. Midthought Eric: pooping, you know. Mid Thought Chris: Hmm. Midthought Eric: so I tried the you know like the Duncan iced things in the can and that that helps a lot it still gives me the Mid Thought Chris: boy. boy. Midthought Eric: caffeine right and I I I'm not like falling asleep drop dead but I'm also not pooping myself at eight o'clock. so that's been really good. Twice I've tried tried to just go cold turkey And that didn't help either. So I I think the sweet spot is probably just knowing that's gonna happen and try the try the cold brew things, you know, from Duncan and just just do what you can. Just accept it. It is. Thank you. Yes. Jason: Yep. Cause that that's a lot of layers to take off to go to the bathroom as well. You're not Mid Thought Chris: Unbelievable. I Yes. Jason: there's no way you're you're you're tearing off all that stuff in time. Midthought Eric: Yeah. And you s I think you can see the steam pile, like you can see the steam for miles. Jason: I can tell you you you can from from experience. Yes. yeah. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Thank you. Well, let's let's Mid Thought Chris: Ha ha ha. Midthought Eric: talk offline after this. let's follow up. I'll put a pin in that and we'll we'll talk offline because I it's it's hard to find willing survivors out there. Everybody represses their truth. and this is my truth and I we we need to get this is yeah. All all hunting bowels matter, okay. Jason: They do, they do. HBM. Mid Thought Chris: Jason, back to your original question. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Back to your original question. Jason: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: I I I think there's it depends on the severity of the need, right? So if it's Jason: Mm-hmm. Mid Thought Chris: a severe need, by all means, I'm running into any gas station I can. but there's typically some some amount of standards, right? so not the, you know, I'm about to get you know, murdered in in this gas station, but you know, I'll go into like a Midthought Eric: Not the Waynesboro McDonald's. Mid Thought Chris: I'll go into like a like a sheets or like what do you have up there in Kansas? what's your gas station that y do you have a wawa or anything like? Yeah, I'll go into a quick trip, Jason: we got a lot of quick trips. Mid Thought Chris: no pun intended. but yeah. Ooh. Bucky's a f Bucky's a fine place Jason: We're getting some buckies, actually. They're making their way here. Yeah. Midthought Eric: Buckeys. Mid Thought Chris: to poop. That is a great that is that is Midthought Eric: Yeah. I will clinch Jason: Yeah, yeah. Midthought Eric: I will clinch that extra mile for Buckeys. Mid Thought Chris: A hundred percent. I will wait. Jason: Heck yeah. Heck yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. So yeah, to answer your question, prefer to go at home, but I'm not about to, you know, risk, you know, you know, incidents. yeah. So how about you? Jason: I'm kind of the same as you. it's gotta be the level of need, the necessity. Mid Thought Chris: Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah. Jason: so yeah, that was kind of a way that I would prank people back in the day is going number two in unusual places. And so I'm so I'm yeah, Midthought Eric: Ooh. That's a different different layer of improv right there. Mid Thought Chris: Tell me more. Jason: yeah. but definitely by the severity of need. and according to my research, Mid Thought Chris: Hmm. Jason: sixty one percent of Americans are completely uncomfortable with pooping in public. Midthought Eric: In public or like in a public bathroom? Jason: In any in any public place. They gotta go home. They gotta go home. Midthought Eric: So not like in like with people watching them. Right. Mid Thought Chris: I I Jason: That Mid Thought Chris: wouldn't Jason: that would yes, that as well. eighties eighties Mid Thought Chris: I mean if that if that earns if that earned me s if that earned me some money, I mean joking. Joking. Midthought Eric: Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. That's all I know. Jason: Yeah, yeah. sixty one per sixty one percent. Mid Thought Chris: Sixty what did you say? Sixty two percent? Sixty one Jason: And eighty seven percent would do it if it was a more private, like one of those, you know, everybody has their own stall, no matter what kind of thing. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Midthought Eric: So they a they may make it seem like it's a choice, like like I can just control this, right? Sometimes you can't control it. You gotta you gotta do it. Gotta get these guys. Gotta gotta Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. As we as the as the three of us have demonstrated. Jason: That's true. Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow, baby. Midthought Eric: get these guys. Jason: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: That's a Jason, that's a great question. Did you have what do you have a do you have another question for us? That was perfect. Midthought Eric: As you can see, I'm quite an open book. Jason: Yeah, yeah. have you ever blamed a fart on an old person that that was that was around? Midthought Eric: Nope. Never. Mid Thought Chris: That is great. Yeah. Yeah. Jason: Yes. Many times. given where I work. I work at a nursing home. And so when I'm working with patients, you know, there's been many a many a times, well, whoa Mid Thought Chris: perfect. Mildred, that's the fifth time today. Jason: somebody needs to go to the bathroom, I think. Well, Midthought Eric: Urrow, you keep you keep doing the Ural. Jason: Grandma Jane, let's head that way, okay? Geez. and then I, you know, bolted for the bathroom. But yeah, yeah, done it many times. Not ashamed. I do. Midthought Eric: That's crazy. Jason: There's one of my offspring. I actually don't know who that is. Excuse me, who are you? Midthought Eric: That poor thing. Mid Thought Chris: How'd she get in there? Jason: I thought I put you in the crate. Mid Thought Chris: Perfect. Midthought Eric: How'd she get out? Jason: Get back in the crate! Midthought Eric: Did we Yeah. Didn't we l didn't we lock you in the d stuff you in the locker one time? Jason: Sorry about that guys. Sorry. Sorry about that. Midthought Eric: I got out. Mid Thought Chris: I got it out. Midthought Eric: Cheese. Mid Thought Chris: All right. Midthought Eric: Old school. Hello, we have a we are our first guest. We have a guest on the show. Jason: What? You're loud. I can hear you talking from in my room, closed, my door closed. Yeah. Well we're we're impassioned about what we're what we're talking about. Mid Thought Chris: It's very important very important topics. Midthought Eric: We don't front. We don't front. Jason: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Very important there, Georgie. Midthought Eric: Did she really hear it though? Like did she really hear my story? Jason: No. No. Yeah. Just me talking. Midthought Eric: Okay. That's good. Don't watch this later. Mid Thought Chris: Just him talking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jason: Just me talking. Midthought Eric: My story Mid Thought Chris: Awesome. Midthought Eric: is yeah. That's good. Mid Thought Chris: Well Jason Jason: It looks like it's gone off but it's not. What? This. Yes. Midthought Eric: Hey, that was pretty mild. Like if if she heard that stuff, that's that's Jason: Bye. Midthought Eric: pretty good. I'll take that anytime. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah hundred percent get out get them get them Jason: Good. Now I'll feed you tomorrow. All right. Midthought Eric: Get them, get them At least Oriol fans. Jason: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Jason might or might not know what you're referring to All right Midthought Eric: I hope he does. I always try to lead with my best trick first. Jason: Hmm. Midthought Eric: Red Sox Forever. Can I can I show a few Facebook marketplace things? Mid Thought Chris: I would love to. Did you blur out the names by chance? Jason: Please do. Midthought Eric: What names were you talking about? I Mid Thought Chris: On the marketplace, names? And I just roll with it, who cares? Go. Midthought Eric: wait, I have something else in the queue. Mid Thought Chris: boy. Jason, how you looking on time? I wanna be respectful of your time. Midthought Eric: Yes. Jason: I probably have a good fifteen minutes of Facebook Marketplace Antics. Bring it on. Bring it on. Mid Thought Chris: Fantastic. I'm so excited. Did you did you have other notes or quips or you had some you had some creative names. Jason: You're yeah. Midthought Eric: Names. Mid Thought Chris: what it Jason: For that for that segment of the Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: He the little segment observations of life Midthought Eric: okay. Yeah, let's do that. Get them. Jason: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Go ahead, Jace. Jason: we can do a do a quick vote. So first one is observational obscenities. Second one is twisted thoughts. third one is Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Like the Twizzler. Midthought Eric: this is our this is the thing. Jason: yeah. Third one is mid midlife manifestos. And then we have MTC. I think we all know what that stands for. Musings and midlife musings. Mid Thought Chris: Love it. Jason: But open, open for other options. That's not the Midthought Eric: Let's let's let it up to the audience. I know we have a lot of people out there. let's see what they think. Mid Thought Chris: That are watching. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Jason: Yeah, you in the back. You in the back? Yeah. No, no, no. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Midthought Eric: Yes you. Nine eleven. Mid Thought Chris: The opposite of Charlie Hapto Lammy Tigers Midthought Eric: Ha ha. Mid Thought Chris: All right, Eric. You're up. Midthought Eric: All right. Jason: What do you Midthought Eric: This is just random stuff on Facebook Marketplace. Okay, and you can make Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Midthought Eric: make with this what you will. Jason, you're due to the show. all of the all the people what names? Mid Thought Chris: Are the names blacked out on any of these? Okay, cool. Midthought Eric: all the people listening and watching, they're well familiar with this. And this is just this is what they come here for. They're clamoring for it. so Jason: of course. Midthought Eric: anyways, these are real Facebook listings. I do not make this up. I try my best to protect identities. And also we are not judging. We are laughing with you, not at you. And just remember this is on a Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: a public place, okay? So that's all I have to say about that. So our first thing Jason: Yeah. Where you poop on the roof. Midthought Eric: that we have here, this is this is what Chris offered to buy. Jason: What a crazy fad. Mid Thought Chris: What the heck? I there's no name on there. That's Midthought Eric: It's just a squ squishy toy. Mid Thought Chris: perfect. I can I can un we can annihilate this. Jason: Are we making salads or tossing salads? Mid Thought Chris: Ha ha ha. Midthought Eric: No, we don't we don't know we don't know how far left that goes. I mean we don't know how big it is, honestly. But it's a pickle squishy toy, okay? Mid Thought Chris: How Jason: Now is this candy? Mid Thought Chris: SHA Jason: Is this is this candy at the very tip Midthought Eric: Ex Jason: of said cucumber? Mid Thought Chris: Yeah, what is at the tip? Midthought Eric: that's a that it looks like a just a a label, a tag, but Jason: I wanna know what's at the tip. Mid Thought Chris: Eric z Eric Eric zoom in on the tip. Midthought Eric: I can't I don't know how to do that. Jason: Smash Smash Mart. it's just it's just the s it's the tag. It's the tag for Smash Mart. So apparently they're we're tagging Midthought Eric: I don't know how to zoom in from my current screen. I think it's just a tag. Don't Mid Thought Chris: S what is a smooshmart? Midthought Eric: don't read into it too much. Look, this can be whatever you want it to be. If you want it to be candy, make it candy. I'm sure it tastes great inside. Mid Thought Chris: That's supposed to be candy? Jason: If you wanted to this is a great a great thing to have it if you have yeah. Or if you have Mid Thought Chris: Inside. No cheese. Midthought Eric: No, squishy toys like yeah. Squishy toys are like the big thing. Mid Thought Chris: You guys but okay Jason: if Mid Thought Chris: four times you guys both like paused started talking at the same time Midthought Eric: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: paused started talking at the same time and and Eric and Jason you go first Midthought Eric: We do that. We are st we are made for each other. Jason: There's so much to say. There's so much to say. Mid Thought Chris: Jason what were you gonna say Eric shut up Shut up Eric Jason: If you have if you have let me tell you something! Let me l let me tell you something. If you have Midthought Eric: Well wait wait wait Ta Jason: unwanted cats, if you have unwanted cats, just keep these on your floor. Cats are deathly afraid of cucumbers. They look at them and they think they're a snake or something. They just Mid Thought Chris: That's true, that's true. I know what you're saying. All Midthought Eric: Okay. So it's for cats. I was wondering what that was for. Thank you. I don't remember. can I speak my native tongue? All right. Here we go. Halaria. What what is the title of this Mid Thought Chris: right, Eric, what were you going to say? You have the floor. Perfect. Moving on. You can speak in your native tongue. I give you permission to speak. Go. boom. Jason: Ho Midthought Eric: item for sale? Go. Look at the bottom. Mid Thought Chris: Whoa! Jason: Chin reduction surgery. Mid Thought Chris: Jason Jason Go is Jason: A log? Midthought Eric: Please opine. Jason: He could split some logs. Mid Thought Chris: What is that? No names. I appreciate Jason: That's for sure. Midthought Eric: There are no names. Mid Thought Chris: that, Eric. Midthought Eric: here we have for sale for seven hundred fifty dollars in Hagerstown, Maryland, a Mid Thought Chris: Seven hundred and fifty dollars. Midthought Eric: It's a county line twenty five ton log splitter. Mid Thought Chris: What about Jason: He is about twenty five tons, yeah. Mid Thought Chris: what about that strapping man is a log splitter? Midthought Eric: I wait, what do you see? I see a th this is really helping the description. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Jason: Does the log splitter turn on if you pull on both ends of the goat of the goatee? Midthought Eric: Mm. I don't know. Mid Thought Chris: Is the logs is the log splitter in the room with us right now? Midthought Eric: I think that I don't know, look how it ended. It just says safety change period and it ends with up. What does that mean? But it's powerful. It's a twenty five ton log splitter. Mid Thought Chris: I don't know. Eric, read that in ri Eric, read that entire Jason: no d no doubt. Mid Thought Chris: description. Midthought Eric: Alright, here we have a powerful 25-ton cut county line log splitter, Mid Thought Chris: Mm-hmm. Midthought Eric: has vertical and horizontal operation modes. That's what she said. This Jason: As only I'll take. Midthought Eric: this yellow and black machine, so it's like a B, is powered by a gas engine and includes a towing hitch with safety chains up. Mid Thought Chris: Mm. Midthought Eric: Up Jason: Well. Midthought Eric: I don't know how to end that. Like is it a a a question mark or a period? Just up. Alright, Mid Thought Chris: Just up. Just up. Midthought Eric: so do you want that? Do you wanna buy that? My Mid Thought Chris: Seven hundred and fifty dollars. Jason: I don't. Midthought Eric: only my only problem right now is here's my big regret. My big regret in life Mid Thought Chris: Only problem. Only problem. Midthought Eric: is that this had twenty two comments and it did not capture them. I don't know what they said. I can imagine what they said, but yeah. Jason: Seems like it might be a good snuggler. I don't know. Mid Thought Chris: mm. Midthought Eric: It's a tickler, not a s a snuggler. Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: All right, so next up we have a rare Mid Thought Chris: anyway, next up. Jason: Love it. my gosh. Midthought Eric: The Yellow Kid doll Jason: Lord Jesus. Midthought Eric: from Hogan's Alley's circa nineteen hundred. All right, look at the price of that thing. Jason: The yellow kid? All right. Mid Thought Chris: That looks like s what's his nuts? what's the guy's name? Not Fester. Jason: Gollum? Mid Thought Chris: G not Fester, but the other one. They were calling somebody that. crap. I don't know. It's gone. Not Fester. It was somebody else. Anyway, continue. Look. Midthought Eric: All right. But listen, this is a reduced price, okay? For this doll. The for this doll, you can get it on sale. It was two thousand one hundred dollars. Now it's only being offered for two thousand dollars. Spot on. Jason: Woohoo Take my money Mid Thought Chris: That's a steal. That's like Jason: Take my money Midthought Eric: And they have two teeth. It has two teeth. Mid Thought Chris: here you go. Go no, I didn't need to see the feet. Jason: Yeah. Ow, whoa. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: What did I tell you about the feet, Maurice? Cah Midthought Eric: What is Hogan's Alley? I don't even know what Hogan's Alley is. Mid Thought Chris: I feel like I should know that. Jason: Nop not where we want to go. Mid Thought Chris: No no Midthought Eric: That's not even a foot. That's like all blended together. It's like a web. Jason: You could this be one of those things they've they've they've actually seen like a lot of these mummies, they have actual dead people in them. Like the like the a lot of the statues have actual dead people in them. This is a dead person. Midthought Eric: That looks like it could be dead. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: There's dead person. The yellow kid doll. Jason: We're looking at a dead person. We need to solve this crime. We need to solve this Midthought Eric: But it's it's been reduced. Jason: crime. This poor yellow kid was taken back in nineteen hundred. This is a cold case. This is a cold case. Myth dog crisis is gonna solve this crime, damn it. Sorry. Midthought Eric: From Scarlet Fever. Mid Thought Chris: This been a it's a cold case. This is definitely a cold case. Mm We Midthought Eric: From Scarlet Fever. And then we're gonna Mid Thought Chris: are Midthought Eric: get our money and our sponsors. Jason: Yes. Mid Thought Chris: We are now going into the world w We are the phone lights. Midthought Eric: Hoganzaley is already calling the phone lines. producer Mike, do you have all eight lines full by Hogan Zalley right now? Mid Thought Chris: Yes, we have all the Jason: Bring your hundred and twenty old dead children to us. We will find their murderer. We will. Mid Thought Chris: way in school, Eric. Midthought Eric: We'll give you two thousand for that. Jason: That'll really that'll really tie the room together. Yeah. Midthought Eric: Alright, so Mid Thought Chris: That is dumb boy. Midthought Eric: so the description here, somebody's making somebody's somebody's Mid Thought Chris: We got a name on there. We got a name on there. just a first name. Okay, okay, okay. Midthought Eric: yeah, so somebody's Nikki six from Motley Crew. but somebody's making their description that's basically says, hey, everybody says Xuritam is real rare, but this tiny doll truly is rare, okay? It's fragile but impressive. And Jason: Yes it is. Mid Thought Chris: Huh. Midthought Eric: it's made of creep paper. Creep, I love creeps. Say it. Jason: it's no yeah. Creepy. Mid Thought Chris: W I love creeps, say it. I won't do it, Peppy Le Pew he really break Jason: It's definitely Clip Clip Clip Pip Bell. Midthought Eric: Say it Say it, Ricky Bobby. Mid Thought Chris: my arm Midthought Eric: It may have been made in Germany. We don't know. Could have been anywhere. Mm-hmm. Jason: We love sent all sorry. Midthought Eric: Wait, was that German? Allegedly. Mid Thought Chris: this it's a fun land. Jason: Yeah, yes it was. Mid Thought Chris: Yes. Midthought Eric: You get on your boots and you start marching. Jason: I love these dolls. I love all dead dead children dolls. Midthought Eric: We don't waste Mid Thought Chris: Continue. C continue. S sorry. Midthought Eric: them on okay, all right. It's a Germantown if you ever want it. Germantown, Maryland. All right, and lastly, here we have huh? Mid Thought Chris: I get it. No, wait, go back. You were you weren't done. Midthought Eric: I wasn't. No, I'm not gonna read the whole thing. Make Mid Thought Chris: Were you gonna read the whole thing or no? Mickey Dugan of Hogan's Alley. Midthought Eric: make make the audience look it up themselves. Yeah. But here we go. no, the Mid Thought Chris: Okay, they should look it up themselves. All right, cool, continue. Jason: I don't wanna buy it. Let's move yeah. Midthought Eric: best part is at the bottom. It says if you're not interested in this, please do not respond. Just to tell me you think he's ugly or haunted. Jason: Be happy to oblige. It definitely is. Def Midthought Eric: L O L, if it's listed, it's available. And you Mid Thought Chris: He Why are you showing dead people? Midthought Eric: can message Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: me if you want to schedule a time to meet. Thank you. Mid Thought Chris: I would like to meet just to see the thing and to and to take a DNA sample. Jason: And become the next yellow kid? No. I don't think so. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Well, here we have competition between publications of the cartoon led to the term yellow journalism. I don't know what that means. Mid Thought Chris: Yup is this a is that a Jason: They're about the our Eastern Asian folks. Mid Thought Chris: I was just gonna say, is that a racist kind of Jason: It's a touch, but we are talking circa Midthought Eric: Well it was Jason: nineteen hundred. I mean anything goes back then. Mid Thought Chris: Circa ninety two hundred, anything goes. Anything goes. Midthought Eric: Look, they have a here Jason: yeah. Midthought Eric: you have you can see it in person in our DNA booth at thirteen six twenty five Pennsylvania Avenue of Hagerstown. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah, DNA. That's what I need to be swiping for to figure out who you murdered. Midthought Eric: Yeah. So they have a booth of DNA. Jason: That sounds yeah. Okay. I think I'm gonna parse Mid Thought Chris: Alright. Not haunted. No. Alright. Midthought Eric: But it's not haunted though. All right. Jason: that's gonna be a hard pass for me. Midthought Eric: All right, so this next one. Mid Thought Chris: I th we're on the case. We are on the case. Midthought Eric: This next one, listen, I know rent is l rent is high. all of all of the real estate investments are high, interest is high, everything's really high right now. So I have a really good deal for everybody. I found this this nice apartment in Hayerstown. it's actually a basement for rent. It's only four fifty a month. Jason: Ooh. Excuse me. Midthought Eric: It has everything included. Okay. You must provide your own food and clean behind themselves. Mid Thought Chris: Wait. Ooh Jason: And lighting, apparently. Mid Thought Chris: time out. Timeout. What did that just say? Midthought Eric: Must provide own food and clean behind themselves. Mid Thought Chris: Clean behind themselves. Jason: Harkening back hearkening back to earlier. Midthought Eric: So basically I was pooping in the the top garage and they caught me. Also, Jason: You crapped on these nice people's roof. Midthought Eric: here we go. Dogs are not allowed unless trained to not bark. Good luck with that. And kept in room for, and in addition to the rent of $75 added a month, must Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Midthought Eric: clean after pet and pay for any damaged Jason: Run on sentence much? What's going on? Midthought Eric: of soil par property belonging to the owner. Also, pets must be fixed. Mid Thought Chris: The yelling, the yelling, Jason: Not broken. Midthought Eric: It was all capitalized Mid Thought Chris: the yelling. Midthought Eric: with proof of flea and warm treatments. We will Mid Thought Chris: it's important. Midthought Eric: be bomb before any tenant moves in. Jason: This has been an issue. This has been an issue in the past. Mid Thought Chris: We will be bomb? Midthought Eric: As well as have bug boys come in Jason: We will be bum. Midthought Eric: for their routine repairs inspection to ensure there are not any fleas here before moving in. Whew, that was a lot. Mid Thought Chris: That was a lot. Jason: That was a failure Midthought Eric: But Jason: in English class. Every year they had English. Midthought Eric: Here go. So the description is one bed. Okay, I see one bed, technically, I guess. Mid Thought Chris: It's the ground. Midthought Eric: it also says one bath. I don't know where that is. We do have two more pictures coming up, plus two. and a house, I guess. Mid Thought Chris: Where's the ba ooh, more pictures, I'm excited. Is that it that's in a basement, right? Is that what we said? Midthought Eric: It says basement for rent for one for four fifty a month, everything included. Mid Thought Chris: So is there like a private entrance to said basement or do you gotta go through these people's house? Where did you Midthought Eric: This is Jason: Gotta crawl through the window, probably. Midthought Eric: this is the description. Mid Thought Chris: I think so. Midthought Eric: Do you get that rock do you get that creeping rocking chair with it? Mid Thought Chris: that one in the bottom right. Yeah, I see it. Midthought Eric: Yeah. Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: Whew. the the beauty of this one here is the comments. Okay. Mid Thought Chris: yes. Hundred percent. Eric, I am so Jason: Good gr good grief. Mid Thought Chris: proud of you. Good job. Midthought Eric: I did miss Jack Lewis, sorry. But he's not the original poster, so Jason: Does it Are we gonna be sharing? Ha ha Mid Thought Chris: you missed a couple of them. Jason: Who doesn't like a little sharing with their most intimate time? Midthought Eric: Hey. I'm getting better, okay? I'm getting there. I'm getting there. Mid Thought Chris: You missed like four names. It puts the lotion on. Midthought Eric: Just three. Two. I missed two. Mid Thought Chris: my gosh, it's so good. Jason: That about sums Midthought Eric: All right, Jason: it up. Midthought Eric: so Jason: Where's the hole in the center of the room where they let everything down? Mid Thought Chris: There's a litter box in the corner of the one picture, all your own. Midthought Eric: Four fifty to live in a dungeon. This is what kidnappers give their victims. Jason: Yeah. Midthought Eric: For free. Jason: For free. Yeah, you don't technically have to pay for this. You could be a house guest. Mid Thought Chris: my gosh. Midthought Eric: That's pretty good, right? Sometimes the the comments are better than the post, but look, I'm still working on Mid Thought Chris: my gosh. Midthought Eric: editing. I'll get there. I'm close. I'm very close. I've improved. I missed two names, thank you. And that's Mid Thought Chris: We only missed like four names. Midthought Eric: like five percent of all of them. Way better than Jason: Your math checks out. Midthought Eric: Matt's. Jason: I think. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Your math might be a little Jason: Mm. Midthought Eric: I've never been accused of being good at math. but yeah, Mid Thought Chris: Mm-hmm. Jason: that's great though. Midthought Eric: who's in on this? Who wants to live there for for fifty a month? Mid Thought Chris: I Jason, I will if you will, let's go. Jason: You gotta pull there for entertainment. I say rock on. Let's go. Mood lighting. Mood lighting Midthought Eric: I mean and honestly, can you imagine? Jason: included. Midthought Eric: Like clearly that's not a finished that's not a finished basement. That's concrete on the bottom Mid Thought Chris: Is that concrete? That might be concrete. Midthought Eric: with a few carpet, like a little like ten by eight carpet things. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah, I mean it's okay, here's the thing, Eric. It's only four fifty. Midthought Eric: It's better than homeless? That's a deal. Fifty dollar Jason: Split three ways? Mid Thought Chris: It's only fift Jason: That's a steal. Mid Thought Chris: It's only four fifty. Like if that were I I don't know. I I feel like you're not Terrible. Midthought Eric: I just want to know where the bath the bath is. Mid Thought Chris: I kinda don't though. I don't really think I wanna know. Midthought Eric: And house like it list it literally lists a house. It says one bed, one bath, house. Jason: House. Mid Thought Chris: House. Midthought Eric: So I don't know. What's that mean? But they will bomb Jason: I don't know. Mid Thought Chris: I don't know. Midthought Eric: it. They will bomb it before any tenant moves in. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. boy. Jason: Bug Bug Boys is gonna be your neighbor, yeah. Every day. man. Midthought Eric: All right. No fleas. Mid Thought Chris: Eric, those are priceless. I appreciate that. That was great. Thank you. That w that other one is next time? Alright, fantastic. Midthought Eric: Was that good? Alright. That's good. We'll do that next we'll do that next time. Alright. Yeah. Jason: That's that's very good. Yeah. Yeah. Ha ha. Mid Thought Chris: Thank goodness. Midthought Eric: What do you guys think? Was that good? Mid Thought Chris: It was great, buddy. Jason: That was great. Yeah. That was fantastic. Midthought Eric: Jason, what do you think of Facebook and marketplace segments? Do you have anything to share? Jason: I love it. I love it. as it case Mid Thought Chris: You got a name for it? You got a name for it? What do you think? Jason: Yeah. hm. Yeah, that's a good one. Midthought Eric: Everything's available. Mid Thought Chris: Everything's on the table. You know what I'm saying? Jason: Yeah. That could be good. Yeah, yeah. Midthought Eric: That'll work, right? Actually, hold on. I have a I have a name for it. Hold on. I forget I forget what happened here. No, I'm going straight Mid Thought Chris: Ooh. He's got a name. Are you typing it in the studio chat? Jason: nice. Midthought Eric: for the kill. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Mid Thought Chris: Ooh. Midthought Eric: I had it on here. Hold on, here we go. I got it. All right. Mid Thought Chris: You had it on there. Midthought Eric: This th I think this is what we should name, all of our Facebook marketplace stuff. Mid Thought Chris: Are you texting us? Is this in the group chat? Midthought Eric: Yes, no. Mid Thought Chris: Hmm. No. What are we doing here? boy. he's sharing it. Midthought Eric: Okay, here we go. This is it's gonna be called it's gonna be called the Amish Secret Wish. Right there. Jason: The almost secret wish Midthought Eric: That's what we're gonna call it. Okay. This is our f this is our segment. Jason: I can meet you in Thermont or I can ship it to you. Please message me to purchase. Midthought Eric: So from now on we're gonna say, now it's time for the Amor's secret wish. What do you think sh what do you think she's secretly wishing? Jason: I feel like that that is intriguing enough. People are gonna want to be like, hey, you know what? Tell me more about that Amish Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Jason: secret wish. Yeah. Midthought Eric: Right. It's also from a smoke free home. Mid Thought Chris: That's the part I'm laughing at. Jason: Which is important nowadays. You know, smoking's bad for you and vaping's even worse, everybody. Midthought Eric: What is she holding? Does anybody know? Mid Thought Chris: It looks like a child. Jason: Her it could be a dead child. Midthought Eric: To me it looks like a plastic bag of some sort. Mid Thought Chris: I don't it doesn't Jason: They don't have modern medicine, so it's probably a dead kid. Mid Thought Chris: It's the Amish, so yes. Midthought Eric: What's funny for me is like it's Jason: Or her favorite piece of wood from their recent build. More than likely. Midthought Eric: Eli really g this is Eli's best work. Jason: Ha ha ha. Midthought Eric: Eli did really good this time. yeah, so it's it's Mid Thought Chris: Eline's Elon's flying a car, but meanwhile we've got frickin' Jason: Yeah. How are we messaging you? Isn't that isn't that off limits? Isn't that Midthought Eric: But it's a secret it's a secret wish. Jason: a no no? Are we talking like messenger Mid Thought Chris: W what are you talking about? yeah. How? Jason: messenger pigeon send you a message? Or are we talking Midthought Eric: Well, it doesn't say that she's Mid Thought Chris: Yeah, it's that's a Midthought Eric: the owner. Mid Thought Chris: good point. It's a good point. Midthought Eric: Maybe she's selling it for Laura V Hilton because it's a best selling author, Lara V. Hilton. Mid Thought Chris: It is also from my smoke free home. That kind of makes me think that maybe it's not so smoke free if you feel the need to say that it's smoke free. Cause I don't know if I like a good like Jason: Me, I like a g I like a good smoky page turner. Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. I like to know that Jason: I wanna smell that. Midthought Eric: I just Mid Thought Chris: you know my book has been places, you know what I mean? That it's seen the struggle. All right. Midthought Eric: It's been places, all right. Yours has been places, Chris. Yeah, Jason: Yeah. Character. Yeah. Midthought Eric: I like how there's four pictures of the same thing, and it says plus two, more pictures of the same thing. But anyways, yeah. Well, you have to read it to find out. All right. Here we go. Mid Thought Chris: Plus two. Jason: I hope it's the epilogue. I hope they show the epilogue. Or at least the back the back cover. Ho ho ho! I know what I'm doing. Mid Thought Chris: The Amish secret wish. Yeah. Jason: Library this weekend. Mid Thought Chris: Amish secret wish non sponsoring sponsor or on your way there. Midthought Eric: S Barnes and Noble, where you at? Do you have those in Kansas? No it's sometimes you don't make it to get the book out. But I did get Jason: Whoo hoo hoo I'll read that on the crapper. Yeah. Yeah. boy. Midthought Eric: that those napkins out. Mid Thought Chris: boy. Well this has been fun. Midthought Eric: All right. Mid Thought Chris: Jason, did you have a good time? Jason: I did. I had a blast. I had a blast. Midthought Eric: Jason, Mid Thought Chris: Yeah. Midthought Eric: I could go I could go all night long and that's that w also Mid Thought Chris: Would you I you've always left me satisfied Jason: I know you could. I know you could go I know you could, buddy boy. Midthought Eric: Thank you, Jim. Mid Thought Chris: so Midthought Eric: Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: Jason would you consider coming back next week? What what are what Yeah? Okay. Yeah. Jason: I would love to. I would be honored and Midthought Eric: We're gonna name that part two, Jason: yes. Midthought Eric: the unfinished parts. Jason: Okay. I like that. That's it's very very direct. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: I don't know why I haven't Why am I laugh Midthought Eric: Ha ha ha Mid Thought Chris: why am I laughing about that? The unfinished parts. Alright. Midthought Eric: 'Cause it was crazy. Yes. Jason: Yeah. Unfinished parts. Mid Thought Chris: Eric Jason. I think that's all the brain cells I've got. Midthought Eric: Cool. Jason: That's definitely all I have. Yeah. Mid Thought Chris: yeah. he's Eric, he's Jason. I'm Chris. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great week, y'all. See ya. Midthought Eric: Peace. Thanks everybody for watching, all of you. Go to sleep. Mid Thought Chris: Farewell. Jason: Thank you. Sweet dreams.