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He Married Another Woman After 7 Years Relationship · DidiLawren

• 0:09
  Hello and welcome back to another episode of Once
• 0:11
  Laurencia. How are you all doing?
• 0:13
  Hope you're doing great. Now for today's episode we're
• 0:16
  going to be talking about different relationship,
• 0:17
  marriages, situationship. Like this.
• 0:20
  January has been a lot, we've been through a lot and we're
• 0:23
  just in the middle of January now.
• 0:25
  I will start with this lady who went on X formally Twitter to
• 0:31
  say that she used to she just got married and she was pregnant
• 0:35
  at the time working. And then she said that her
• 0:38
  husband came back home and told her that he shared lunch with a
• 0:45
  female coworker. Basically she said that the the
• 0:48
  husband told her that the female coworker gave him spoon, like
• 0:53
  brought an extra spoon for him to share her food because he
• 0:56
  doesn't come to work with lunch. And she said that was the day
• 1:00
  she decided she was going to wake up at 4:00 in the morning.
• 1:03
  Was it 4:30 in the morning to pack lunch for her husband.
• 1:08
  Now this generated a whole lot of how wow wow wow, social media
• 1:13
  Nigerians literally started donating for this lady.
• 1:16
  She got a whole lot of gifts, honeymoon tickets and a whole
• 1:21
  lot of people were happy. According to them, in the 21st
• 1:24
  century, this is what, you know, your wife material should be.
• 1:27
  Yeah. Your wife waking up, you know,
• 1:30
  4:30 in the morning to prepare lunch for her husband never got
• 1:34
  me thinking I was like, you know, I I don't know.
• 1:38
  I'm not waking up 4:30 in the morning to prepare lunch for
• 1:40
  nobody because I can pack lunch maybe the previous night.
• 1:46
  Like I think some people like fresh food, which for her to
• 1:50
  wake up 4:30 in the morning to prepare food, probably the
• 1:52
  husband like fresh food and she has to do that.
• 1:57
  Not in this area. So that generated a whole lot of
• 2:00
  relationship conversations online.
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  Before you could say Jack, people started breaking up left,
• 2:05
  right and centre. People started comparing their
• 2:07
  relationship telling their girlfriends.
• 2:09
  You know, look at this woman, look at what she's doing for her
• 2:12
  husband. Waking up in the morning to do
• 2:14
  this. Do that.
• 2:15
  I used to wake up 3:30 in the morning to go to work and I
• 2:19
  understand the impact of that, like your whole day is literally
• 2:24
  ruined because you didn't get enough sleep.
• 2:27
  So 33430, I don't see the difference but I used to do
• 2:32
  that. I I think I did that for like 2
• 2:34
  years and you cannot pay me to wake up at 4:30 in the morning
• 2:40
  right now. No, no, no, no.
• 2:41
  My mental health, my like, I, I my sanity is very important to
• 2:50
  me. But at the end of the day, do
• 2:52
  what works for you, you know, if that is what works for you.
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  Some people like cooking, some people like caregiving, some
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  people like their love language is making sure that the other
• 3:03
  person feel loved, feel taken care of.
• 3:06
  So whatever works for you, please go and do that and then
• 3:12
  everybody should be happy. However, other people comparing
• 3:15
  their partners to this lady saying that.
• 3:18
  So look at what this lady is doing.
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  Look at what you know. She she she was waking up
• 3:24
  getting the money to prepare lunch for me.
• 3:25
  Why can't you do the same thing? Or why people started comparing?
• 3:29
  I think that is where people are getting it wrong.
• 3:32
  Because let's say I'm in a relationship and my partner is
• 3:35
  telling me this lady is waking up 4:30 in the morning.
• 3:39
  The next thing I will compare you to is you know Dangote is is
• 3:42
  buying houses for for his wives is listen we can compare we
• 3:50
  gotta start comparing. But I just think people should
• 3:54
  do what works for them. Don't start comparing.
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  You know what you got yourself into.
• 3:58
  So for my next story regarding relationship and marriage
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  there's this guy. So there was a twist I Gary
• 4:04
  reacted to and the tweet was broke.
• 4:06
  Babes are so annoying dislike them so much.
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  Now another guy reacted saying avoid broke babes, avoid boob
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  babes. I don't go this rich babe.
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  Now she urgently needs 2.5 million naira.
• 4:20
  She didn't mind. Miss you.
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  I don't know what came over me. So basically this guy is saying
• 4:27
  that he somebody saying avoid broke babes and he is saying
• 4:32
  that he listened to that tweet, he went and dated the rich or a
• 4:36
  comfortable lady and now she's asking for 2.5 million.
• 4:40
  Now he's asking Chidimma to forgive him, which maybe is his
• 4:44
  ex-girlfriend who he left for this richer babe.
• 4:48
  So that got a whole lot of people talking because they said
• 4:52
  are you going to date within your PAX bracket or are you
• 4:56
  going to date above your tax bracket?
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  Because everything comes with an advantage and disadvantage.
• 5:02
  If you're going to date above your tax bracket, basically that
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  girl, she is going to want to hang out, she's going to want to
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  travel, she's going to want, and these are the things that she
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  does normally for herself. So if you're in a relationship
• 5:16
  with that person, that person is expecting you to either match
• 5:19
  their energy or at least contribute to certain things.
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  Maybe she wants you to take her to Maldives and she's going to
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  need maybe 2.5 million for the tickets.
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  And she's asking you as her boyfriend, buy me the ticket.
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  You already. You're thinking this is too
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  much. She's a gold digger.
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  Why she asking me for that money?
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  Cheating. I would never want to go to the
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  Maldives. Chidinma only want to go to
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  maybe sweetheart joints and all that.
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  So he is now going back to Chidinma.
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  Now this took me back to I used to know a couple who were
• 5:55
  dating. This was like over 10 years ago.
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  The lady came from an average, you know, comfortable family.
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  They were all business minded people doing businesses.
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  The guy, the dad, you know they are civil servants and nothing
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  much was coming in. So we were friends and this lady
• 6:15
  used to take us out like whatever way now she's going to
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  pay because she always had money.
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  Basically one day he came to see us and he said the accent, OK,
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  how is this girl? And he said no, there are no
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  longer any relationship. We're like I no longer any
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  relationship. What happened?
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  He said she she she's just asking for too much.
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  She's asking for too much. Can you imagine?
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  She was telling him to go and learn a trade with the the
• 6:42
  brothers and the dad and go and work with them basically so that
• 6:48
  he could be getting money. The way he presented it was like
• 6:52
  she was trying to force him to do things that he doesn't want
• 6:55
  to do. And I was sitting down there
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  thinking, OK, this girl, obviously she's from a family
• 7:03
  where she's seen their men take care of them, though she has her
• 7:07
  own money, but she's trying to put you through to one, you
• 7:11
  know, place or the other to help you with the life.
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  Generally because the parents are civil servants.
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  They're not earning much. We're in school.
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  So, like, I don't even know the course he was studying at that
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  point was not even a professional course.
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  Like, don't get me wrong, you can go study whatever you want
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  to study in school and still come out to do amazing things,
• 7:32
  be rich, be wealthy and all that.
• 7:35
  But I think she was just trying to guide her man to, you know,
• 7:39
  look into trying to do what the others are doing, which they
• 7:44
  were making money. So he saw it as disrespect.
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  You know this girl is trying to put me where the brother would
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  disrespect me. The people they are really would
• 7:53
  disrespect me. And he was banging on about ohh
• 7:56
  let's say somebody I go with them and then get work hard get
• 8:01
  my own money. They'll think well we made you.
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  I was like why are you even thinking negative into the
• 8:06
  future. Why not think OK, they will help
• 8:09
  me. I'll be grateful.
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  Even if the relationship doesn't work out you can always find a
• 8:14
  balance where you guys who separate amicably that was the
• 8:19
  end of that relationship. He started dating somebody else
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  who was like, you know, cheating My she didn't want more, she
• 8:29
  didn't ask for much and soon enough they got married.
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  Then we're all friends on Facebook.
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  So I could see their post. I could see the ladies post.
• 8:37
  Shit, it's, you know, it took her some time for her to finish
• 8:41
  school, get a job. She also got married.
• 8:44
  But he if you see this girl now the person she got married to, I
• 8:49
  don't know if the person came from a rich home, but because of
• 8:52
  that, you know if that person listened to her and joined her
• 8:57
  family, the guy, the guy, they look so good.
• 9:01
  And this my friend, him and his wife and kids and you're looking
• 9:05
  at them and you're thinking what is why did you do this to
• 9:09
  yourself. But at the end of the day he is
• 9:11
  happy. You know he he doesn't look sad.
• 9:16
  So I think at the end of the day this in within your tax bracket
• 9:22
  is very important because you can try to elevate somebody
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  especially as a woman you're trying to tell somebody, OK this
• 9:29
  is not where I want to be or this is where we can be.
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  Sometimes you see yourself, you know how you want to live your
• 9:37
  life, where you want to go to, how you want your future self to
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  be. And then you're telling somebody
• 9:43
  who you're dating or you're in a relationship with telling them,
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  OK, let's do this. I think the other lady, this guy
• 9:51
  on Twitter, maybe this girl was asking for 2.5 million for a
• 9:55
  business venture, maybe not even for spending.
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  Maybe she was like, OK, we can put this together, do this
• 10:01
  business, grow this business, and we will be OK.
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  But he's looking at it like, OK, she asked me for 2.5 million,
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  let me go back to Chidimma at the end of the day.
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  One thing I've realised is that people are comfortable with they
• 10:17
  are. If you meet somebody, especially
• 10:19
  in relationship or if you're about to date somebody, ensure
• 10:22
  that you see talk about finances.
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  Sometimes people think, oh, there are women who talk about
• 10:27
  finances. They are gold diggers or they're
• 10:30
  talking about finances because you're dating somebody who or
• 10:33
  you're trying to you're talking to somebody who you think you
• 10:35
  are better than. That is not the case because
• 10:38
  regardless of what I have today, I know you know what I want to
• 10:42
  do tomorrow. I know how my future wants to
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  be. So it is important to have that
• 10:46
  conversation with you. It is important that we talk
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  about this so that, you know, wake up one day and come and
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  call me out on Twitter to say that ohh 2.5 there you are.
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  You asking for 2.5 million Because regardless of how you
• 10:59
  want to look at it, they are right.
• 11:01
  This guy is right. The other lady is right for
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  asking for 2.5 billion. It's just about perception.
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  He might think ohh she's asking for too much, but it might be
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  the fact that she wants them to build something.
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  That brings me to my next topic of dating with purpose.
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  There's this lady, this other lady on TikTok who called out
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  her ex-boyfriend. She dated him for seven years
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  and this guy just woke up one morning, went to the village
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  this Christmas and paid somebody else's buy price.
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  So she got to find out and she came on to TikTok and called him
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  out. A lot of people that I bashing
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  my life. How can you be in a relationship
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  for for seven years? I mean she is 27 years so
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  probably she started dating him when she was, you know 1920 That
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  relationship started at that point.
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  I understand that some people get married 19, even 18 even
• 11:53
  earlier than that, but not everybody is prepared to get
• 11:58
  married at that point. Maybe she was thinking, OK,
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  maybe when I get to 30 I'll be serious about this relationship.
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  And if you look at the both of them, they are struggling.
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  They don't look, it's not like they the guy has all the money
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  and the girl has all the money. But they may be trying to get
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  their finances together before they get married, which there's
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  nothing wrong with that. A lot of people said, well, why
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  don't you just marry and then build things up?
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  You cannot build with somebody. This is why I gave the example
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  of this other girl, because she wanted to build it a man, which
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  was actually wanted him to get into the family business so that
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  she could make money, you know, so that they could build
• 12:39
  together and start something, start working on something
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  together. We were all young at that point,
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  but he didn't see that. But she was dating with a
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  purpose. She was not just dating him
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  because she loved him. Yeah, She was providing for him
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  by extension. We're getting treats from that
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  relationship. But she wanted more for him.
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  Today you look at him and you're like, you know, so when people
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  talk about dating for a long period of time and saying, ohh,
• 13:09
  it is better, you get married six months and then seven years.
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  Some people marriages don't even last up to seven years, which is
• 13:17
  better. Is it better for you to get
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  married, date somebody six months, get married to them and
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  then separate after seven years. At that point kids are involved,
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  families are involved, is like I don't think there's any break up
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  that or break up of a marriage that everybody would just be
• 13:36
  like yes, we are happy. You know, everybody go your way.
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  I don't think so. There has to be somebody who too
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  hot. There has to be somebody who the
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  family feel ohh you did our child wrong.
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  There's nothing wrong with people dating for a very long
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  time and then realising that this is not going to work and
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  then separating maybe because everybody they were in school
• 13:59
  chasing career. I for one have been in a long
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  term relationship and I didn't know you know end up in
• 14:04
  marriage. And I can tell you I wouldn't
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  change that for anything because let's say I had gotten married
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  earlier when we started dating. I can guarantee you that today
• 14:14
  will be will be separated that is for sure.
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  But which would have been better?
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  The long term relationship And then moving on, order.
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  Long shot them marriage and then ending the whole thing.
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  Maybe at that point kids are involved.
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  Resentment comes in. Like today I I I don't even feel
• 14:34
  any resentment for this person. Like it did not work out.
• 14:37
  You move on. I move on.
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  I'm living my best life. I am very sure that he is living
• 14:42
  his best life. At the end of the day, do what
• 14:45
  works for you. If you can wake up five, 4:30 in
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  the morning to go for your husband, my sister.
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  Do it too with your full chest. Only with your full chest if
• 14:56
  that is not what you can do. And then your husband is trying
• 14:59
  to compare you to that person. Sit down, have a conversation,
• 15:03
  Remind him why you're not able to do that.
• 15:06
  Remind him who he married. Remind him that before he got
• 15:10
  married to you, you were he was he was going to work.
• 15:13
  If that was happening, if that coworker was already bringing
• 15:17
  spoon to work, like you are not adults.
• 15:20
  I don't understand. Yeah, you were eating before you
• 15:23
  got married to to to that person.
• 15:25
  So once that person start comparing you with other people,
• 15:28
  I am very sure you can compare him with somebody else and he
• 15:32
  will understand how that feels. When I look at marriages or
• 15:35
  finding the right partner or relationship, I just think it
• 15:39
  boils down to luck. Because you can go to church,
• 15:42
  you meet the devil and you can go to church and you meet a very
• 15:46
  genuinely nice person. You can go to a party and you
• 15:50
  meet, you know, a Yoruba demon, or you can go to a party and you
• 15:55
  meet your life partner. You can stay at home like people
• 15:59
  miss online. People meet on the Internet and
• 16:01
  they have amazing, fantastic relationship.
• 16:04
  People meet online and listen. They are scarred for life.
• 16:07
  So you know, some people would say, well, position yourself
• 16:11
  here, position yourself. You cannot.
• 16:14
  You, the universe have to align you to certain place and you
• 16:17
  have to be able to receive that person.
• 16:19
  Because at the end of the day, emotions is not your meat.
• 16:22
  You can meet God, can even send your husband to you, and then
• 16:25
  you're looking at the person like, oh, there's no chemistry,
• 16:30
  what can you do at that point? So it's it's all about luck.
• 16:34
  It's all about alignment. If you are in a relationship
• 16:38
  where you realise that this is not working for me, don't feel,
• 16:42
  don't feel ashamed, don't think we'll have spent seven years
• 16:44
  here. People are going to laugh at me.
• 16:47
  My sister was later going to move on.
• 16:49
  This is 2024. Nobody should shame anybody for
• 16:53
  relationship partners. Relationship choices, How you
• 16:57
  choose to live your life. Whether you're waking up for 30
• 16:59
  in the morning, Whether you choose to demand 2.5 million for
• 17:03
  your boyfriend. Whether your boyfriend said he
• 17:06
  wants cheating my back, like everybody do what you want do.
• 17:10
  We're in 2024, you know, January.
• 17:12
  We're just in the middle of January.
• 17:14
  Boats boy. Hey, we've learnt lessons.
• 17:17
  Enough lessons. Thank you very much for watching
• 17:19
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• 17:21
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• 17:44
  today's episode. Please, like, like, like and
• 17:46
  share. Thank you very much.
• 17:47
  Bye. Bye.