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Grandma's Ghost Told Me to Leave… So I Moved to Cambodia and Started a Hair Empire · Babes, how did you get here

• 0:00
  I was scared. I was very scared. People know me, like most people that know me are like,
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  all you're so brave, you're so courageous, you're so confident, but I'm always, I'm not always,
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  but I was scared, but I just was like, well, I'm here now. So this was my first time on this
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  side of the world in South America, but I had never crossed the park right away. So, and then I was
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  on the other side of the world. So it was like, not only am I far as possible from anybody that I
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  know I've been sitting here before. I don't know what life's going to be like, I don't
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  officially have a job. So everything was just kind of up in the air when I got here.
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  Manisha is an American entrepreneur and educator who found an opportunity by sourcing raw hair here
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  in the villages of Cambodia. She is going to talk to us about how to thrive abroad, managing grief,
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  but also finding inner peace. Manisha is amazing at sharing stories, sharing wisdom, and a little
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  bit of laughter. So I know this is going to be a good conversation. But first, babes, you have to
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  tell me how did you get here? Honestly, I don't know. I was supposed to move this polling first.
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  Okay. And about six months before I was supposed to move, I got a call for Cambodia and Costa Rica.
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  Okay. So I looked into both locations including polling and with polling, I was going to be able
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  to save, but I wasn't going to be balling. Costa Rica was like the salary that they were offering me
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  the rent to live, what I'm comfortable with, the same price. So Cambodia offered the best cost
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  of living with the best salary, and then also the potential to make additional money with the
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  hair industry. So that's how I ended up here. Where did you move from? Virginia. Richmond,
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  originally from the 757 is the city called Portsmouth, but it's a small city. Okay. Like a little
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  coastal town. Babes, let's talk about food real quick, because feeding kids should not feel like
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  a burden, even though some days I'm told it does. My course, feed like a CEO teaches you how to
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  simplify meals and raise kids who actually ate real food without refined sugars, without ultra
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  processed foods and without the drama. We will cover changing how you think about food, routines
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  and how to raise kids that love food and will eat everything. I'm sharing exactly how I feed my
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  twins because I know it can help you bring peace to your meal times. So if you're ready to feed
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  your kids and yourself with less stress and more joy, check out feed like a CEO because when you
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  eat well, everything runs smoother, including you. And tell me what was your life before you were
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  moving? Before I moved, I worked, where did I worked? I would do like different jobs. I've had a million
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  jobs, honestly. I don't like to work for other people. Okay. So when I would apply for a job,
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  I already had an exit plan on the day that I applied. Okay. I'm going to work here. I'm going to
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  save up this amount of money, do this. And then this is going to get me to the next point so
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  that I can do this. But my goal was always to get right here where I am. Okay. So it was more so
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  me trying out things, trying to see what could I do to make money that I could make this money
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  from anywhere. Okay. If it would tie me down to one spot, you weren't feeling it. I would stop.
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  I would be like, no, this isn't going to get me where I want to go. And what were the jobs that you
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  are applying for in Poland, Costa Rica and Cambodia? A Tefl teacher. Same job. Yeah. All three countries
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  I was doing. Tefl, it was through a company, a shell company that offered all over the world.
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  They could place you in any country, Dubai, Bali. But I don't have a degree. Okay. So Puerto Rico,
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  I'm sorry, Costa Rica, Poland and Cambodia were the three that were like, okay, no, the
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  degree that's fine. You know, she has all her recommendations because I was working in the
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  school in America. So it's not like I didn't have any experience. Yeah. And I came with a
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  lot of recommendation letters from like the principals and my prior teachers. So I guess I kind
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  of slipped. And when you applied for these jobs, because you said that as soon as you apply,
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  you have the exit strategy, how long were you expecting to be here in Cambodia? I told, I'm
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  my only child. Okay. And I told my mom I was going to come for six months. Okay. I never
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  planned to stay for six months. I actually never planned to go back home. I never planned to go
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  back home. But I didn't know I would be here this long. Okay. I thought that I was going to do a
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  travel vlog like you see online. Right. And I was just going to travel around and I was going to do
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  this for about a year because I do enjoy kids. Okay. So I was like, I'm going to teach for about a
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  year and then I'm going to start my travel vlog. Why did you lie to your model? I didn't lie. It's
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  just she has very bad anxiety. Okay. So it's like I really didn't know what I wanted to do. And I
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  didn't have the capacity to make room for her anxiety as well. So I just told her what I needed.
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  Was she needed to hear and to like figure out what I wanted. But she ended up visiting and she
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  became very comfortable with Cambodia. So then once I told her like, hey, I don't think I'm coming
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  home. She was cool. She was fine with it. She was like, okay, well, I got your location and I know
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  where you are. I can like she would watch my location move on the phone. So that just made her
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  more comfortable. And I just been here ever since. How long have you been here now? Two years.
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  Okay. Two years. That's of June. That's of June. That came June, 19, 20, 20. Tell me when you first
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  land in Penampin. I landed in some reap. Okay. So you landed some reap. Tell me that first
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  experience. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What are you smelling? How are you feeling?
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  I was scared. Yeah. I was very scared. People know me like most people that know me are like all
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  you're so brave. So courageous. So confident. But I'm always, I'm not always. But I was scared. But
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  I just was like, well, I'm here now. So I got to be worried out. This was my first time on this
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  out of the world. Okay. So as we talked about like Americans, we usually do like the Caribbean.
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  I had done like Jamaica. I've been to Jamaica. I went to Jamaica a few months before I moved here.
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  Okay. Yeah. So Jamaica, all across the Caribbean and South America. But I had never
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  crossed the pond. Right. So and then I was on the other side of the world. So it was like not only
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  bar as far as possible from anybody that I know I've been here before. I don't know what life's
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  going to be like. I don't officially have a job. I'm going through a program and then they're like
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  placing you at a job. So everything was just kind of up in the air when I got here. I just was like
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  well, I know that I could be a teacher. And I know that I could sell here. Right. And I started
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  looking for hair when I got here before I even started my teaching program. I was like, well, okay,
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  let me try to figure this out. Like just in case this doesn't go well. And I met a woman and she
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  took me to all the hair vendors around. She sold hair in Namibia. Okay. And from there, it just kind
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  of took off. So when you came for the teaching program, you always knew that the long game was the
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  hair game. I knew that the hair game was a possibility. Okay. So it wasn't like I was like,
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  oh, I'm going to get in here. This is my dream. My dream is on a hotel. Okay. But I knew hair was
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  here. I knew it was possible. And I'm the type of person. I'm always thinking about how can I make
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  money off of something? Like, oh, my mom's a really good cook. So I was like, oh my, you can make
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  this sauce. You can sell it. Sure. And she'll be like, I don't, I don't want to sell it.
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  I just want to cook. So I knew that, like I said, if something went wrong, I know I'm not a
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  job person. I know I'm not the person that's going to sit and be committed to your company for 30
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  years. But so I just looked for what can I do to sustain myself? Because people come with this
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  dream that I'm going to be a travel creator, but you need money to travel and create.
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  So I was like, I don't want to go that route. And then spend all of my money. And now I have to go
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  home. Right. So I looked for ways to make money before I looked for ways to spend. So hair was
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  going to be the security. Hair was going to be the backup plan. Okay. Yeah. Just in case
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  teacher day and workout. And what did you want to do with hair? Were you planning on having your
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  own brand of hair that people bought? Tell me what part of the business because hair is big
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  business. So originally, I wanted to sell hair. I was trying to sell hair. And I got some
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  sales like selling bundles. Yes. And closures. And I got some traction back in my hometown. But
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  it's also a hassle to sell to individual people. So I switched over to sourcing, which there's
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  not a lot of vendors in Cambodia. But there's quite a lot of hair collectors that are small. They're
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  not online. They may just go, you know, into their village and cut the hair. Then they may sell it
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  locally. They don't ship it outside of Cambodia. Okay. So I started finding those little companies
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  because you can get this hairs through me. Okay. So now that's what I do. I go and you have to order
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  at least 10 bundles of war. And I ship it out and bulk instead of like trying to keep track of
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  this customer got three bundles, this customer got four bundles. It just makes it easier
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  on me to deal with from a customer service standpoint. So I'm trying to understand, you're teaching
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  and then you're going out into these villages. You don't speak kamae. No. You don't speak kamae.
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  Presumably they don't speak English. They didn't speak kamae. I can speak a little bit now.
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  Check your babies. I'm learning. I'm learning. But in terms of negotiating like business, because
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  another thing like it's one thing to be like, hi, good morning, hi, like basic talk. And then it's
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  another thing to be able to have like business type of conversations. So how are you navigating
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  cross-cultural like business? So when I named my company immersive because I have really immersed
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  myself into Cambodian culture. My friends are Cambodian like my best friend is Cambodian. She
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  speaks to my, she lives in America now. Okay. Yeah. She moved to America. But she moved to America.
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  But she would help me like go to different places and negotiate. Okay. And now I have an assistant
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  and she is kamae as well. Okay. They both went to Canadian schools. Okay. So they're able to speak
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  to my customer without an accent with clear understanding of what's going on. And my customer can
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  understand them. But then they can also flip and speak to their own, their own native language. Sure.
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  Yeah. And then I just want to understand the vision. Is the vision because you seem to always have
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  something else in your mind? Is the vision to stay in Cambodia for the foreseeable and continue
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  to grow this business? Or do you have another plan? I'm actually trying to go to college, right?
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  Man, really? Yes. I'm trying to, I really want to just understand, I'm really into marketing. I
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  love marketing. But I want to understand the science behind it. Okay. And just get more technical.
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  So when I'm usually my marketing is based off of this vision that I have in my head,
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  but I want to be able to fine tune those visions to make sure that I can get to my hotel status.
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  So the hotel is still the plan? The hotel is like my life goal.
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  Really? Once I get a hotel, I feel like I made it in life. Why do you want a hotel?
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  I actually want to resort. Okay. I want to resort. And I want to, uh, basically cater to women.
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  It's a haven in my vision. It's a haven for women. And I will incorporate the hair into that
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  where you come and you just be pampered. It's, it's nothing but women. And there's community
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  bags and spots and salons where you can get if you want the hair installed, you can get the hair
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  installed, you can get it maintenance. But just somewhere that we can be women and we, you don't
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  have to be a mom here. You're not a daughter here. You're not a girlfriend here. You are just you.
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  And I wanted to bring in like spiritual people where you can figure out like, you know,
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  if you have some blockages, you come here and you figure that out, you get pampered,
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  you get a massage, you go get some water, you go to sleep. Sure. Just somewhere that, you know,
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  will it be here in Cambodia? That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm thinking Cambodia,
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  I don't see why not. I feel like a lot of people don't come here. It's not on their travel list.
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  But there's so much to see. There's so much to do that isn't advertised online.
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  That's another reason why I did the hair tour because you'll see like the floating village and
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  stuff like that. So you take people on hair towards? Yes. Right. And then would you take them to your
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  villages that you go to to source hair? How does the hair tour work? So first hair tour, I first
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  took them to all of the collectors and vendors that I knew in the city. Okay. Then we flew to
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  Simreep and I took them to some collectors and vendors there. We went out into the province
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  and they cut the hair themselves. And then you're not started going to steal your business.
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  You can't, I feel like my business model is largely based on my personality. Okay. So you can start
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  selling hair. It's not like I'm the only person that does it. Like I told you that the lady,
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  she started running hair tours. Sure. But if you're coming and you want to see Cambodia,
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  I've been here for two years. So you really can't steal it. You can sell hair. Right.
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  You get source hair. You can do whatever you want to do. But you, I've built a business to wear.
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  Like I said, I'm not going to show you the people who won't ship it outside of America. Sure.
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  So the only people that you're going to get are the people that, I mean, you could find it online
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  if you look hard enough. Right. That's not to say that these vendors are widespread because a lot
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  of them just started. Some of them are small family businesses and they can't handle a large capacity
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  of insurance. But I'm never going to give you opportunity to ex-me out.
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  I don't think of Cambodia and hair. To be honest, I'm not like knowledgeable. I'm not a hair
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  person. I wish I was, but I'm not. But I don't think, when I think of hair, I do think of
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  Indian hair. And so I don't think of the Cambodian market. Do you think that that helped
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  to our business or is there within the industry a perception of Cambodia and hair?
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  I think what really helped me is that it's highly sought-after, but it's hard to find.
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  Okay. So it's like even, like I said, even if these women come here and they do whatever they do,
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  and it's not favorable to me. At the end of the day, America isn't even my biggest audience
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  because people all over the world want this hair. Okay. So if I could say like, now I don't do
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  business in Atlanta, Georgia. Okay. At all. So what do you mean? Too many scams. Literally.
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  Every customer I've ever worked with from Atlanta, Georgia has scammed me in some way.
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  So if I connect with you, I'm like, hi, babe, from Atlanta, you're just like, by Felicia.
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  I won't say by Felicia, but I may recommend you or I may say, hey, just about a vendor instead.
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  Okay. So you can work directly with the vendor. Okay. But I don't want to be the man for you
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  if you live in Atlanta, Georgia. Like it's just way too much. Have you blacklisted anyone else?
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  No, just right now. Just Atlanta. Just because it's I've had too many experiences, like at least
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  seven experiences with seven different women. Then it all resulted in some sort of like me having to
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  scramble or me looking for them or me going through the banks and trying to do charge bags. It's
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  just like it's a hassle that I told you I'm a woman of leisure. I don't like to be hassled. I don't
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  want to be stressed out. So if you're stressing me, I don't have time. And I feel like people in
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  America are so used to it being like as long as you have money, then I'll do whatever for the money.
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  Right. But in Cambodia, it's not like that because I feel like I became this way from living in
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  Cambodia. Really? Whereas if they don't want to do it, they don't care how much money you're offering
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  them. They're not going to do it. Okay. They're just going to say, no, they're not going to
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  recommend you to anybody else either. They're just going to be like, no, I can't do it. What else
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  culturally do you think that you have gained since you've been there? Yeah. I definitely think patience.
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  Okay. I think I'm more patient and I'm less aggressive. Oh, in America, I was very like aggressive.
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  Just like, you always in your, I was in danger. Okay. So you need and I'm small. I'm 14.
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  Are you only 14? Yes, I'm 14. Oh, baby, look who?
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  So I need to look scary in some way. Like I need to look like. Don't play with me. Yeah.
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  So I couldn't, I could never just be my bubbly self because I'm always on guard trying to make
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  sure like safe. But now I don't have to do that. Like I feel very safe in Cambodia. I live a slow,
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  easy life. And I feel like a lot of people look at Cambodia and they think like everybody here's
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  poor. Like I get that online and like, like, oh, you moved there? They're poor, but they're not poor.
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  They enjoy their rural life. They enjoy the slow life. They enjoy a simple life. And if you tell
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  them, like, oh, why don't you move to America? They have, I don't know, dishwasher. They're not
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  moved by that. They enjoy their life. They every chance they get, they go back to the province.
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  Okay. They live in the city to work. But a lot of these people live in the province and they enjoy
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  being out in the province and just being around their family and the chickens running around. And
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  you know, just that country life. Sure. Yeah. So I think now I always wanted to live in a big city.
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  But now I'm like, no, I want to move to the country. Do you feel that Penang Pen is big city vibes
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  and you'd move out? Or do you think that Penang Pen is a balance of big city, but still
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  contributes? I live on an outskirts. Okay. So in the city, I feel like you definitely can have
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  that city feel. If you live smack that in the city and you don't really venture out to the outskirts,
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  then it will feel like a big city. However, once you go out to a round A on three,
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  that's when it starts to boil. Like I was riding down the street the other day and there were cows
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  running down the street. So we were like ducking the cows and the tick tick. And those, you can't
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  have both of those experiences here. Did you teach in Simreep? No, my program was in Simreep.
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  And then you moved to Penang Pen. Yeah. Can you tell, I've never been to Simreep. Can you tell me how
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  they they default? Simreep is the country. Okay. Yeah. It's the country. It's just more cultural
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  experiences in Simreep. Whereas here, this is more modernized. Right. You can tell that there's
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  been Western influence here and influences from other places where Simreep is like stepping back
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  into time. Okay. And you are in rural Cambodia. I feel like when I'm looking at the old
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  pictures of Penang Pen, that's probably how it is now in Simreep. Sure. It's a lot of sacred
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  places in Simreep, a lot of places where people go for spiritual healing and a lot of opportunities
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  to do art like they have pottery classes or you could visit like their ancient waterfalls,
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  their museums. I do think if you're coming here just to learn about Cambodia, I would start
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  in Simreep because a lot of their history can be found like even to this day, things that they
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  reference in the National Museum. You could find them. You could still go there today. Sure.
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  But it's in Simreep. When you came, did you feel that it was an easy adjustment?
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  Yes. I think it was pretty easy. I think because I'm trying to think of like everything that I've
• 20:08
  been through since I've been here. And of course, there's been some differences. It's not like,
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  um, back home and it's fine. But the differences weren't anything that made me consider leaving.
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  Okay. It was small things like the Bade. Oh, yes. Like we don't have Bade's in America. So
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  trying to learn how to use the Bade would be something and you're out and there's no tissue in
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  here. Yeah. But now my whole tie outfit is wet because I don't know how to use the Bade.
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  So it was small things like that or like they don't use washcloths here. So the washcloths are
• 20:39
  expensive. The towels and washcloths are expensive. Okay. And things that you are typically cheap in
• 20:44
  America like kitchen utensils are expensive. But then some things that are, I don't know the,
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  yeah. So that's why when I'm looking into these Arabian bees, there's no utensils. No,
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  I just thought those people weren't cooking. The, the, what's it called? The eating utensils,
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  like forks and spoons. Yeah. Those are cheap. No, no, no, I'm talking like to cook with. So
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  your spatulas, the pots, the pans. Yeah. The pots and pans are usually expensive if you want
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  something that'll last. You can get the cheap ones, but your food probably gone burnt.
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  It probably burned with food. But in terms of culturally, because let's be honest, the average
• 21:28
  American doesn't have a password. I can't remember what the percentage is, but a lot of Americans
• 21:32
  don't have a password. Yeah. Because when I went to college in the States for so many people
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  seeing universities was the first time they were leaving their state to go and see what was
• 21:41
  out there. Yeah. And so the idea that you didn't just have the password to do the Caribbean thing,
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  but then came to Cambodia, I think it's such a huge move. And I understand that because you've
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  done it, you might not see it as, as a big deal. But I'm trying to understand what your mentality
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  was. Did you ever feel that America was home? No. Okay. My mom said in a third grade, I came home
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  and told her that I was leaving. I want to start grade like nine. No, maybe seven probably
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  about seven or eight. I knew told your mother. Yeah. Like I had learned about slavery. And I was like,
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  I don't think I want to be here and I kind of held on to it for the rest of my life.
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  It wasn't, once I made the move, it wasn't necessarily about slavery or per se. My dad would
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  always travel with me as a kid. So I wasn't new to travel. And traveling the state
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  wasn't appealing to me anymore. It was when I was 18, I called my mom one night and I was like,
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  mom on the way to Atlanta. I had got on the bus like it and it became constant where I would just
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  call my mom. Ham on my way to Canada. Ham on my way to Jamaica. I'm going here on Friday.
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  Until I like traveling is cool, but I didn't want to come home. Okay. I didn't want to go
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  back to America. I'll get sad when my trip was over. But when I, I knew that Cambodia was a good
• 23:05
  place because when I leave Cambodia and I go on vacation, I can't wait to get back to Cambodia.
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  Really? I'm like, uh, when am I going home? Hey, if I'm here too long, I'm excited for the first
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  few days. Sure. And then I'm like, um, when you go back home, what is it about Cambodia that feels
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  like home? I think it is nobody cares. Like nobody, I, I felt this way about Philadelphia too.
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  Okay. Um, where nobody cares, nobody's in your face, in your business trying to figure out who you
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  are, what you're doing. Whereas when I'm in Thailand, it still feels like America. It's still,
• 23:43
  when I'm in Singapore, it still feels like America versus Cambodia is just like they are,
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  they're not wrapped up in American politics. Whereas everywhere else, like, you know, they're looking
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  at us, they're looking at our president, our issues, what's trending with this. I don't see a lot of
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  people in Cambodia worried about that. They're just living their lives. They, you know, they like
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  their K-pop, they like their hip-hop, you know, they like it, but it's not to where they have now
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  lost their own culture. Okay. Because they're so wrapped up in American culture. And I see that a lot
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  in other countries that I go to. So I guess I just like the fact that they, they themselves, they,
• 24:26
  they don't allow certain things to be legal because they want to preserve their culture. Like what?
• 24:32
  I don't know if I can say it. Oh, no. Okay. Yeah.
• 24:37
  A little more like that. Like certain stuff, but other stuff is will. But stuff like that,
• 24:43
  like that Thailand has legalized in other surrounding countries. They really want to maintain
• 24:49
  their culture. It's really important to them. And I just admire that. And the people where the
• 24:53
  option is to either make crazy money or to preserve your culture and your people and you value
• 25:00
  your culture and your people in your history over the dollar, the US dollar at that because that's
• 25:05
  what they use here. Right. Yeah. Why do they use the US dollar here? It's a dual currency system.
• 25:10
  Okay. So they use real, but it's not really worth anything. Okay. So they use the US dollar.
• 25:17
  I'm not sure why though. I didn't know until I got here. And then I saw like menus and everything
• 25:22
  in US. And I was like, Oh, I don't have no US money. Where your money goes further if you have
• 25:28
  your own. But it's interesting that they're not wrapped up in American like politics. And yet,
• 25:33
  they still have a dual policy where they're using using the US dollar. Do you think that Cambodia
• 25:40
  will remain home? I'm not sure if I'll stay. Okay. But I want to castle. So I probably won't stay.
• 25:49
  I really want to castle. I'm going to owe cast and I want to renovate it. So I probably won't stay
• 25:55
  unless I do the hotel here. Okay. If I do the hotel here, then I'll probably stay and just
• 26:01
  stay in the countryside. So do you think that because you grew up on only child, you're
• 26:07
  cool with being in spaces that not necessarily that you're isolated, but this idea that no one's
• 26:13
  in your business. Right. Yes. Do you think that that came from growing up as an only child?
• 26:18
  I definitely think so. And my mom was always adamant about, you don't need to let everybody know
• 26:25
  everything about you. Okay. Yeah. So I've always been like, we're cool. But don't ask me. Yeah.
• 26:32
  Like I don't like when people ask me about your personal questions. Okay. And you're sitting
• 26:38
  across from me and I'm going to be asking you lots of personal questions. But it's not too personal.
• 26:43
  Like, oh, are you still in a relationship? Like it's not like, yeah, like God to be like something
• 26:49
  that I feel like it's not something that I would outright tell you. Okay. If I don't outright tell
• 26:53
  you, I don't want you to ask you. Sure. It's more so that thing. But I also, I'm also very close with
• 26:59
  my cousins because my first cousins, and I grew up with them. So if I need a companionship,
• 27:06
  if I feel like I'm missing that, then I'll go to family first. Okay. I have friends and I have
• 27:12
  friends that have been my friends so long that I don't know how we became friends. But I'm just more
• 27:17
  so wrapped up in my family, I guess. And they're all wrapped up in their families too. How do you
• 27:22
  manage being wrapped up in family and being so far away from them? Face time. Okay. I face them all day.
• 27:29
  I don't care what's going on. I don't care what time of the day it is. Answer the phone.
• 27:34
  Especially my mom. Like it'll be two o'clock in the morning. I don't care. I'm gonna follow.
• 27:37
  You don't have anything else to do, but be my mom. And then I have a brother in my dad's side.
• 27:44
  Okay. So I call him a man's time today. What are you doing? He got a baby on the way. So I never
• 27:50
  thought I was gonna be an aunt. Okay. And now I'm about to be an aunt. So I'm excited about that.
• 27:55
  And I'm just constantly in their business. And they never leave me alone either. Like if I don't
• 27:59
  call anybody, then they'll start calling me. So you don't ever feel that you're missing out?
• 28:04
  Yeah. Even in our region, crabs is a big thing like blue crabs. Okay. So I'll just go to the
• 28:09
  market and get crabs and cook my own crabs. And I'll sit on FaceTime while they all eat crabs and
• 28:14
  I eat crabs and get money. So it's been a cool experience as far as like managing being over here alone
• 28:23
  because before I left, I moved like an hour and a half away from home. Okay. So I was already not
• 28:29
  there. Sure. And then I was always the family member that you know how they say like the cousin
• 28:35
  that doesn't show up. I'm probably not gonna come. Okay. Like I'm probably not. My mom always had
• 28:42
  gatherings as kids. And as a young adult, I felt like I don't need to come to anymore cookouts.
• 28:49
  Like you guys have been in my house every day since I was born. I don't need anymore cookouts.
• 28:54
  But now that I'm older, I definitely see the value in, you know, having that time. Sure.
• 29:01
  Versus when I was early 20s, I was like, please, please kill the noise.
• 29:06
  I know you said that you were diagnosed with ADHD. Yes. What does that mean?
• 29:13
  So it means different things for different people. My ADHD is me being inattentive. Okay.
• 29:19
  So if I'm not interested in it, it's basically like I can't do it. Okay. So I have to find ways to
• 29:26
  make things interesting to myself. But it also means that I'm interested in everything. Okay.
• 29:32
  So it's like I'm interested in everything. But the things that I'm not interested in, I want
• 29:36
  nothing to do with. Right. And it would be, I may want to start this business, but there may be a
• 29:42
  specific part of this business that I don't want anything to do with. Right. So then I don't do it.
• 29:46
  Okay. And it was me, the depression from the, under, I undiagnosed ADHD came from me,
• 29:53
  having these big dreams and having these big ideas, but not being able to follow through,
• 29:57
  because once I hit a point that I was no longer interested, you couldn't get over that hurdle.
• 30:02
  Yeah, I couldn't get over that hurdle. Okay. But now, me being conscious of the fact,
• 30:07
  I can push myself because I'm more intentional about it now. Whereas at first,
• 30:12
  I was just kind of, it was kind of controlling me. What age did you feel that you were in this
• 30:18
  depressive space? I started being a person I was like 15. And also, what does depression mean for
• 30:25
  you? Because I feel like a lot of times in this world, people throw around like buzzwords. Yeah.
• 30:31
  And it's such a unique experience. I'd love to understand what it means for you. For me,
• 30:35
  I just felt like I didn't feel like myself. I felt like I felt mean. I was very mean. Oh,
• 30:43
  really? Yeah. Very mean. Like I don't want to engage. Okay. Very overstimulated at all times.
• 30:50
  I couldn't handle too much conversation. I would sit in my room for hours and hours. And my
• 30:55
  mom would come in and say, are you depressed? And I was to her no. But now that I'm adult,
• 31:00
  we laugh about the fact that she asked me was I depressed because she was, she would be like,
• 31:04
  you were 15. How would you know if you were depressed? How would you know what depression is?
• 31:09
  Yes. But at that time, you know, we were both young. So we're just like, okay. But also on top
• 31:16
  of that, just not being able to show up not only for myself, but for other people. Like it felt
• 31:23
  like a hassle to be social. It felt like a hassle to go outside to attend birthday parties.
• 31:30
  Even my own birthday party. I had a birthday party one year and I was upset because I did not
• 31:35
  want to be bothered. It was just like, I'm just in the house and I'm sad. And I don't know why
• 31:41
  I'm just sitting here in the dark. What age were you diagnosed with ADHD?
• 31:47
  25 or really? Yeah. So I went a long time without knowing. Wow. And then when you were diagnosed,
• 31:56
  did you feel a sense of relief because it gave words and meaning to the feelings that you
• 32:01
  didn't necessarily understand? Yes and no. Okay. I felt relief, but I also felt like
• 32:07
  something's wrong. I had that urge of like, I'm a complete child. You know, I don't know.
• 32:13
  Everybody feels this way, but I always felt the pressure to be perfect. Okay. Like growing up,
• 32:18
  I always got good grades and I was just a good kid. So my parents thought I was a good kid.
• 32:23
  I was a good kid. So I was just used to always be looked at as, you know, say, perfect. Right.
• 32:34
  But then it started to be like, okay, there's something wrong. You know, and I had that whole
• 32:39
  insecurity for about a month or two. And then I was just like, well, ADHD has given me all these
• 32:45
  ideas. It's given me, it gives me the spark. It gives me the, the personality that I'm not,
• 32:54
  people always say, you're so calm. And the time of Christ is you're so calm. I'm calm,
• 32:58
  because I don't care. I'm calm because I've already started thinking about something else. Like if
• 33:04
  I'm sad, ADHD swoops in and I think about something else. Okay. And the channels keep flipping.
• 33:10
  So it works now that I know I kind of can make myself feel better. I can make myself get things
• 33:17
  done. I could just work with my brain now that I know how my brain works versus at first,
• 33:23
  me not knowing and just taking everybody's advice, but these people don't have ADHD. So whatever
• 33:27
  they're giving me is not going to work for me. Okay. Yeah. So just I can listen to myself now. I
• 33:34
  didn't trust myself before I knew. Okay. So now I can go after my goals because I trust myself. I
• 33:40
  know what I'm capable of and what I'm not capable of. And I have no problem outsourcing. So outsourcing
• 33:46
  has very been a blessing in my life. Because now when you hit that point where you know that you're
• 33:52
  not going to engage instead of shutting on the whole plan, you're like, oh, I need to give that
• 33:56
  to someone. Yeah. Okay. It's funny when people talk to me about outsourcing, especially in a
• 34:01
  business context. I'm always like, but outsourcing is a privilege, right? Because coming from a
• 34:06
  business background where you have to wear so many hats because you don't necessarily have all
• 34:10
  of the disposable income to immediately like outsource. I'm always like, but what about the
• 34:15
  people who can't afford yet to outsource because their business hasn't got to a stage where
• 34:20
  they have the cash flow. Yeah. Because outsourcing takes money. How do you how do you then get over
• 34:27
  the hump? The money hump? Yeah. Because you can't outsource if you can't afford to pay somebody.
• 34:33
  I don't have a money hump. But in the beginning, you never had a money hump. So when you started
• 34:39
  your business in the beginning, in hair. Yeah. No. Since I started my first month, I made like a
• 34:47
  thousand dollars. Okay. And right here's two. It's like the money. I also feel like life is so easy
• 34:55
  here because I'm making US dollars. Okay. And the money isn't a factor anymore. Right. I feel like
• 35:01
  life in America is hard because the money is there. Right. You need money to breathe in America.
• 35:08
  Literally, they're choosing charging you. But here, I could make a thousand dollars a month.
• 35:16
  And I'll be fine. I live like a queen. Okay. So before I came here, though, I didn't have,
• 35:23
  I worked. Sure. Yeah. I worked. I worked in the school. But it was all in preparation for me to be
• 35:30
  here. So I just channeled all of my energy into making this happen. And I didn't outsource at that
• 35:37
  point. Okay. Because a lot of it was manual. It was just me like, okay, I know to go over there,
• 35:43
  I need money. So let me just do what I need to do to get this money so I can go. And then once I got
• 35:48
  here, I started with digital products. So the only money that I needed was $9.99 and pay for
• 35:54
  my camera. Okay. And $20 to pay for my website. Right. And I like that. Do people really make money
• 36:01
  off of digital products? I feel like everybody is just like digital products. Digital products.
• 36:07
  They do. They do. I started this girl. Her name was young CEO on Instagram. Okay. I think her name
• 36:15
  is like Lakia or something like that. But I started following her. Okay. And she was selling vendors.
• 36:21
  And I took a bootcamp course with her. And then I started selling my own hair vendors. Okay. And
• 36:26
  that's what I said. I made a thousand dollars my first month. And then I took, I want to go into
• 36:30
  hair tours because nobody's here. So when you say you're selling vendors a list? Yeah. Okay. I just
• 36:37
  put a like all of the hair vendors that I found here and make it pretty. Put it on a list. Okay.
• 36:43
  Download it as a PDF. And people just buy the list. People just buy the list. Okay. And it's
• 36:48
  just information just because the only other option is to scoundrel the internet. Right. And
• 36:53
  Cambodians don't really use the internet. They are a really, really established company. If you can go
• 36:59
  to www.whatevertherebusiness.com. They are a super established business. Right. That's not normal here.
• 37:07
  Okay. So even I feel justified in charging this because I've done the work to get them
• 37:12
  through. I've done the work. I've moved here because I didn't just find them either. The lady
• 37:18
  from Namibia, she showed me a few, but it still took me having to pay people to get the information,
• 37:24
  driving around to provinces, sleeping outside. What did you mean sleeping outside? I slept at a camp
• 37:32
  to meet these people for hair. That's something that I have coming though. Hold on. Explain. Yeah.
• 37:39
  Rewind. So you get a tip that there is a family or some people in a village with hair. Yes.
• 37:50
  And then you're like, I need to sleep outside? No. So they'll be far. Sometimes it's far. I've
• 37:56
  traveled like six, seven hours to go here to go and inspect the hair because I have to make sure
• 38:02
  that this is the hair that I'm looking for. Okay. Because they have raw hair here, but it's not
• 38:06
  single donor. Okay. Meaning the gone person. Yeah. They come from lots of people and then they
• 38:13
  strip the length and then make one bundle. Okay. But it's still raw. They didn't do anything to it. It's
• 38:18
  just not one person's hair. And you want one person's hair. One person's hair. Okay. It depends too,
• 38:23
  though, because I have some customers that are just like as long as I can diet is fine. Okay. Yeah.
• 38:28
  So just trying to make sure that I have all of the resources that I can find. I'm really at this
• 38:33
  point. I'm just gathering a bunch of resources. And whenever I need them, I pull from this toolbox
• 38:39
  that I've created, but I have to travel around the country in order to create this to do us. Yeah.
• 38:44
  Yeah. Why are people donating their hair? Is it just for money? Yeah. Money. I've had a girl come
• 38:51
  to me and she said it's hot outside. Okay. And I do find that that's common as well. Okay.
• 38:56
  Where it's hot and they're working outside. So in you're here, you know how it feels. Yeah.
• 39:02
  This is it's actually been cool. Oh really? This is cool. This is cool. Yeah. This is cool.
• 39:07
  Like the most days when I'm outside and the sun is beaming, it's hot. It's dangerous skin.
• 39:13
  That's how hot it is. And a lot of them are just like, it's just too hot for me to work outside
• 39:18
  with your hair to your butt. Sure. And they don't have thin hair. They have very thick hair. So it's
• 39:24
  like you have a lot of thick long hair on you. I seen a lady. She said that she was about to
• 39:29
  give birth and her hair irritated her doing that process. So she cut it. I'm pretty sure it's
• 39:34
  for money for the baby as well. But also it does cause some of them discomfort. Okay.
• 39:39
  But I'm not going to lie like a lot of them aren't doing it for money. Sure. Yeah. Do you think that
• 39:44
  you get some bad presses in the world? But you get some heat because essentially you are,
• 39:52
  could we say a woman of privilege is going out into villages. People who need money are
• 39:56
  chopping their hair off to give it to you to make some money. And for some people, they might not
• 40:01
  like that dynamic. Or is that not that have I described that incorrectly? Yeah. You're right.
• 40:08
  The people do be mad. But my thing is a lot of the comments that I've gotten are so they come
• 40:16
  from a place of ignorance. Okay. Like you don't really know what's going on. You don't really know
• 40:22
  the climate of Cambodia. You don't know these people lives. You just see
• 40:26
  rural Cambodia and you think poor. Right. And they don't realize that you're offended by me. They're
• 40:33
  calling me. I have text messages. They're calling me. I'm not going out and saying, hey,
• 40:38
  you know, if you want to donate your hair, I got some money for it. They are saying, hey,
• 40:42
  I got your number from somebody else. But I want to sell my hair. So you can be mad from
• 40:48
  whatever country that you're in. That's not really my business. I don't really, I might banter
• 40:54
  with you in the comments to push the video. But I don't really care if you're upset, especially
• 41:01
  if the people that I'm here with their expressing gratitude, they because at the end of the day,
• 41:08
  they will sell those kids. Right. So do you want them to sell the hair or do you want them to
• 41:14
  sell the kids? Like literally, they're not literally going to sell them picnic. Really? You know
• 41:19
  thing. Like my friend, she told me some kids, and this isn't even even Cambodia specific. Sure.
• 41:25
  Some children are born already into sex trafficking. Like their life is already spoken for
• 41:30
  by the time they reach life. You know, so it's just sometimes you're giving a young mom a chance.
• 41:37
  Like I've seen moms come out her hair to her ankles and she got a new baby and she's like,
• 41:42
  this the only thing I can't give her a job. Sure. I can't give her, you know what I'm saying?
• 41:47
  It's the only way that she has to make this money is to sell her hair. My hair was a pixie cut.
• 41:53
  Okay. My hair has grown longer than it's been and forever from in Cambodia, from the products
• 42:01
  that I've been using. I don't know what it is to hear the water makes my hair grow. Okay.
• 42:06
  But their hair grows fast. So when I'm talking to Cambodians or they see my comments and then I
• 42:12
  see them in person, they're laughing at the comments because they're like, well, we want money.
• 42:18
  It's not like you just stole our hair. You're giving us money. And I feel like I never wanted to go
• 42:24
  to work on no day, but I needed to do it for money. Sure. So people, I just feel like it's unrealistic to
• 42:31
  think that nothing everybody around the world is doing what they have to do for money because that's
• 42:38
  what they want to be doing. And it's not like I came into their villages to, like I said, this
• 42:43
  wasn't even really my plan. This was a black plan. I knew it was possible. But it wasn't like I came
• 42:48
  over here with this privilege with the intention to exploit these people. It's just was I saw that
• 42:55
  you guys needed to help in Cambodia because it's not like they don't get scammed as well. Right.
• 43:00
  So I'm just a middle man. I'm the person that you can hold accountable before accepting Atlanta.
• 43:05
  I don't do business in Atlanta. But yeah. But like in other places, you know, they, I had a
• 43:13
  I have a collected artwork with he was able to buy a new house. And it's like you guys don't see
• 43:18
  that it's helping them. The village that I went to the last time they have built a few houses.
• 43:23
  They have cars now, which cars have a hundred percent tax on them in Cambodia. So that means for
• 43:29
  you to have a car, you've made some money for you to be able to afford like a Ford Tahoe or even a
• 43:35
  Prius. Right. So I just feel like people are always mad on the internet about everything. Happy
• 43:41
  videos of babies. They're mad in the comments. A little girl. They're mad in the comments. Like it's
• 43:47
  just internet. They're always going to be mad. How do you find your customers? Or how do you
• 43:52
  find them? They find me. I've had a lot of word of mouth. Okay. And yeah, Instagram really. My
• 44:01
  mom does a good job of marketing for me too. She will share everything on her social media page.
• 44:08
  And then it kind of just like spreads like white fire. So I joined a lot of Facebook groups as well.
• 44:15
  And just talking about me living in Cambodia, that'll usually spark the conversation.
• 44:19
  Me living in Cambodia has done more for my business than anything.
• 44:26
  After they found out I live in Cambodia, even if I say nothing about here, it comes up.
• 44:31
  They're going to ask me about here. Okay. So then I'm going to be like, oh yeah, well, I can get
• 44:35
  that for you. Do you think that your business would have developed to hide you just visited? So
• 44:39
  let's say like you still lived in America, but you visited. Or do you think that for you to
• 44:44
  experience the growth and the success, it's because you were based here. I think I could have had
• 44:51
  success if I did it in America because I've seen women have to sex with it in America or other
• 44:58
  countries. However, I built the audience already because I live in Cambodia because at first my
• 45:05
  concept was just about living in Cambodia. It was just like, hey, I moved. You know, this is my
• 45:10
  friends. This is my life. This is the food that I'm eating. But I'm a black girl. And it was still
• 45:17
  a factor of what is, what am I going to do with my hair? Right. And that more so sparked it.
• 45:23
  I feel like me living in Cambodia and just trying to figure out what am I going to do with my hair.
• 45:27
  I cut it all off when I moved here because I didn't know what to do. Okay. So now it's like
• 45:34
  people just started saying, well, where is the hair? What are you going to do with your hair?
• 45:38
  And that's how I started selling the products because I just started getting so many
• 45:42
  inquiries just from talking about my hair. Okay. I'm talking about how to keep my own hair looking
• 45:46
  cute. How do you find hair products here in Cambodia? You're just in a grocery store. Really? Yeah,
• 45:53
  super duper. Um, there are, there's a, I guess it's a braided shop. Okay. Azeke. And they have a lot
• 46:02
  of products for our hair. Like if you want to relax or you can relax. I thought you would be
• 46:06
  hard. It's not hard. I don't know black people. Why are you having hair products? There's a lot of
• 46:12
  black people here. Really? You want to know something? We thought when I first moved here, I saw
• 46:17
  that there weren't a lot of black people. I was like, oh, maybe they're starting at me because
• 46:20
  there's not a lot of black people. Right. But there's a lot of black people. I actually just
• 46:23
  moved from a black neighborhood. Really? Yeah. So I don't know why they're staring honestly. I don't
• 46:29
  think they were staring because there weren't many. No, after I learned that there were a lot of
• 46:33
  black people here, I became less tolerant of the state because I'm like, no, you guys, y'all know
• 46:38
  we look like, like, no. But there's quite a lot of black people here. And super duper is a
• 46:45
  Western grocery store. Okay. So you can find a lot of gels and like curly hair products and stuff
• 46:52
  like that. Um, and also Facebook. Facebook is really how can body runs? Okay. So in terms of your
• 47:00
  life in general, beyond hair, just overall health. You spoke a little bit about the food that you're
• 47:04
  eating. Could you tell me how that compares between your life in America to here?
• 47:10
  Oh, I feel like here I'm way more open to what I'll eat. Okay. Like I said, my friends are from here.
• 47:17
  So when I lived in America, I'm from the South. Um, and so food is a big thing. So food is a big
• 47:24
  thing. To make it food is a big thing. Um, and more so like Chinese food, but not the Chinese food
• 47:34
  that I eat here. Okay. Um, like here, it's a totally different, I feel like I have a different
• 47:41
  palette now. Okay. Where there's a lot of stuff that I would have never eaten at home. Like,
• 47:46
  fun. Okay. You wouldn't need phone. No, I didn't eat soup at all when I moved here. I would be
• 47:54
  like, I don't want that. That's old people food. I don't want it. Soup is old people food.
• 48:00
  I would never eat it. I'm like, it's water and meat. I don't want that. I thought you were going
• 48:05
  to say something more exotic. More migrants. It's soup. I would not eat soup. You were not
• 48:10
  pushing boundaries by eating soup out of it in my life. I was. Um, but also like different kinds of
• 48:18
  fruits, um, meat, like beef. I ate beef, but I didn't eat it the way I do now. Okay. It would be
• 48:28
  rare thing where like it had to be like a burger. Right. That would be the best I have for you
• 48:33
  honestly. Maybe a steak, but hot pot. That's something totally different that I did not eat at home.
• 48:39
  Okay. Um, tofu, all different times of tofu. Maybe you have given me nothing that is interesting.
• 48:46
  You have given me normal food. I'm like, I mean, I was eating like chicken. Okay. Um, like
• 48:54
  is that so food? So so food is, uh, it's a set food. Um, and even then I wasn't eating like
• 49:01
  cabbage. Like I would still pick through the food, the soul food that I wanted. But now I feel
• 49:07
  like I, I try more things now. Okay. Um, have you tried anything that would be objectively
• 49:14
  adventurous? Not adventurous by your definition, but by just the general public. So for example,
• 49:19
  I took my girls, um, to dinner a couple nights ago, and it was the first time that they had snails.
• 49:23
  And I feel like the average American that would be considered quite adventurous. I'm not sure if
• 49:29
  eating soup. No, that's not adventurous for the average American. Have you pushed any, any
• 49:34
  boundaries that we might be like, oh, that's interesting. No. No. I haven't. I cook a lot. I'm
• 49:41
  trying to cook it. Okay. So if anything, I went more into a meat and vegetable diet. Okay.
• 49:49
  Versus I used to eat a lot of cheese, a lot, a lot of cheese and dairy. That was more so my
• 49:55
  thing. Like I would, if you could, if you cooked a whole meal in macaroni and cheese or was
• 49:59
  with that meal, I would just eat the macaroni and cheese. Okay. And then the other stuff you
• 50:03
  guys can have. Right. Um, and now I think I'm just eating more vegetables. So my mom,
• 50:11
  it's a big deal to her. Yeah. Yeah. She's really excited. Have you had any moments living here
• 50:18
  where you're like, nobody would believe this unless they were standing right beside me?
• 50:23
  I feel like a lot of the views that I've seen. Okay. Um, but one thing that was shocking to me is
• 50:30
  I went out to the mountains and they had cleared the whole mountain. What do you mean? Like they
• 50:36
  deforested the entire, like the trees were burnt down. It was for miles and miles and miles.
• 50:43
  And they were saying that this was all forced. And it was just burnt down trees. Why? I guess
• 50:50
  because they're going to start developing there. Okay. Um, but it was, it was something to see
• 50:58
  just because when they were like, all of that was trees. This was the whole forest. And it went,
• 51:02
  it stretched so far that I'm like, did you guys clear the whole forest? Like it's,
• 51:06
  are the trees okay? Where are they? Um, and that's something that I really felt like people wouldn't
• 51:13
  wouldn't grasp what they wouldn't think about the fact that, you know, you're going to these
• 51:17
  resorts, but this used to be a jungle. This used to be, you know, somebody's home. And there's
• 51:22
  actually a tribe that just made human contact not too long ago out in those mountains.
• 51:28
  And I got to like spend some time with them while I was there and they're trying to learn.
• 51:34
  I don't want to say civilized, but a different way of life that is no longer living off the land
• 51:40
  because now they've burnt the land down. So now they're wearing like coats and they're trying to
• 51:44
  learn how to work a job and they're learning about money. And we were teaching them like, okay,
• 51:50
  you know, when you have money, you have to make informed decisions, which are money, don't just
• 51:53
  spend all your money because they had no knowledge of how money worked. They were just bartering
• 51:59
  before they deforested the forest. Wow. Yeah. I can't imagine what it feels like to have to
• 52:06
  completely relearn life. Yeah. In that way. They seem like they seem, they would talk about like
• 52:16
  the fact that their life was simpler. Okay. Um, but it's still pretty simple in that area
• 52:23
  compared to Pnom Penh. Okay. Um, where there's not really too many stores, there's just markets and
• 52:29
  a few hotels. Um, but I do feel for them in the upcoming years just because that spot is a good spot
• 52:37
  to have a resort or have a hotel and I know that yeah, I think more it has to based on the way
• 52:44
  that they cleared that forest like that was my blown like I could not see any more trees. It was
• 52:50
  just burnt land. I think the person that moves to Cambodia is a different kind of expat if you will
• 53:00
  to to Thailand. Do you think that's fair? I agree. In what way? I feel like I don't mean this in a
• 53:08
  bad way, but people that move to Thailand typically want to be seen. Okay. They want to
• 53:16
  make the content. Usually it's going to be a content creator. Um, or somebody who is
• 53:22
  very outgoing socially because you do have those social circles in Thailand versus in Cambodia.
• 53:29
  I feel like people that move here from America, I should say. People that move here. We typically,
• 53:37
  everyone that I've met are loners. Okay. We're all like, I don't really need too many people around me
• 53:44
  because I visit Thailand often, but I like to have that control where you can dip in. Yeah.
• 53:50
  And when I feel like being bothered, I can come be bothered with you guys, but when I'm here,
• 53:55
  it's kind of like a fort because not too many people are coming here. It's expensive to fly here.
• 54:00
  You can fly to Bangkok for about $400 leaving America. Okay. But you can't fly here for $400. That's
• 54:07
  not happening. So it kind of gives you like a sense of like a shield. Like I be bothered with the
• 54:15
  outside world. And I want to be bothered with the outside world because the outside world isn't
• 54:18
  really a factor in Cambodia. Um, even in their media and their food and their culture in a day-to-day
• 54:24
  life, Instagram has nothing to do with that. Right. You do see the younger generation starting
• 54:30
  to get online and starting to become influencers, but they're young and I get it. But as far as,
• 54:37
  I feel like in America, you have 40-year-olds following Jay DeWayde and she's like 24. Sure.
• 54:44
  So I feel like it's not that imbalance. Like the elders are still elders. Right. And then you
• 54:49
  have the parents that are still parents and you have the kids that are still kids. So it kind of
• 54:53
  gives you a sense of normalcy here. Um, whereas if you like the life where if you have a nostalgia
• 55:00
  towards seeing kids outside, like I love when I go outside my neighborhood, there's kids outside
• 55:05
  riding their bikes, they're flying their kites. I'm like, come on. Let's go to the candy lady.
• 55:09
  Like I want to buy everybody a sucker because I'm like that because I'm not used to seeing kids
• 55:13
  outside anymore. Right. Um, so I think people here are looking for a more slower life. Okay.
• 55:18
  Whereas Thailand, you can basically live the same life in America as you do in Thailand.
• 55:25
  I would 100% especially for Bangkok. I noticed people live, some people, not everybody,
• 55:32
  but some people live the same life in terms of their bubble, their comfort zone, the types of people
• 55:38
  they would speak to and they've just moved it from one place to another, but they haven't actually
• 55:45
  surrendered themselves to their new environment. Yeah. And I would agree with that 100%
• 55:52
  I think that people in Cambodia, it's a real different energy because you don't have a choice,
• 55:57
  but to embrace yourself and to their culture. They're not bending to you because you're American
• 56:02
  or you're British or whatever the case may be. Now you will have some privileges you may get
• 56:07
  paid more than the average local. Okay. You may like one of my apartments, I told them I don't want
• 56:12
  to pay a deposit. Okay. I want to pay this first month rate and move in, but and they were like,
• 56:17
  well, let me see your passport. Okay. And I did. And they said, okay. Okay. I moved in. So you do
• 56:23
  have like small privileges, but on the grand scheme of things, nobody cares. Nobody cares. And
• 56:29
  they favor their own people over you. Okay. Do you think Americans have a good reputation here in
• 56:34
  Cambodia? I haven't heard anything bad about them. Americans, I haven't heard that we've done
• 56:38
  anything here. We haven't beat up any locals or anything. No pit pockets or anything. So I
• 56:44
  would say, yeah, I get a pretty good reaction to it. If anything, I get people surprised because
• 56:53
  I'm black. Okay. Like they don't think that as if they've been communicating with you prior to
• 56:57
  meeting. No. Like the first, I met a man in the market and he was like, where are you from?
• 57:01
  And I said, America. He said, but you okay. I said, yeah, we over there too. Not just in Africa.
• 57:08
  We all over the world. So I do feel like a lot of them think that white people live in America.
• 57:13
  So if anything, that's the only the thing that they are like, oh, okay. Or I've had people
• 57:20
  be like, you sure you're not Nigerian. But I also have had people from the constant of Africa
• 57:26
  all over say, oh, you look like you're from this country. You look like you're from that country.
• 57:30
  I get gone a lot. You look like you're from Ghana. So I guess I can't blame the Cambodia is if the
• 57:35
  actual African people think I'm African. Do you think that you've had any experiences specifically
• 57:42
  for being with Ritz? People love a box in the West, right? They love to put somebody in some box
• 57:48
  whether it is the single child box, the ADHD box, the black box, the female box, the business box.
• 57:53
  Do you think that culturally here in Cambodia, people have tried to place you?
• 57:58
  No, not any locals. Okay. Is that a part of what you like living here?
• 58:06
  I do. I like living in a place where I feel like nobody cares about me. You don't care what I'm doing.
• 58:10
  You're not in my face. You're not trying to figure out what I have going on in Cambodia is definitely
• 58:16
  that type of place where everybody is kind of wrapped up in their own lives to the point where they're
• 58:21
  not actively seeking anyone else's business. But I think Cambodians also are very family oriented.
• 58:31
  Okay. So I like being able to observe that. Like I've seen families have no electricity,
• 58:39
  but they have a kitchen table outside. So even though there's no electricity in that house,
• 58:44
  they're eating dinner together every night outside of the house at the same table and they're
• 58:49
  using the street lights. And it's it's like you could look at it like all they don't have lights.
• 58:55
  But I know people in America that don't have lights. So I'm not like oh you know I don't like
• 59:01
  to think of people with pity. I just look at the fact that hey you don't have lights and at the
• 59:06
  end of the day you still made it a priority to eat dinner with your family every single night.
• 59:10
  Whereas I feel like in America they would just shift their focus to money. Okay. And I feel like
• 59:15
  money breaks down a society and I don't think Cambodia cares that much about it and I really admired it.
• 59:23
  How have you changed other than the patients and you know if you had stayed in America not
• 59:31
  traveled at all do you think that you would have been able to find an inner peace? You talk a lot
• 59:36
  about like pouring into yourself not doing things that are hassled even if they could be financially
• 59:42
  beneficial. And I'm just wondering do you think that you would have got to that destination just
• 59:47
  with age and time and wisdom? Not without money now. Okay. And America I feel like you you need a lot
• 59:57
  of money. And even if like you have money or date somebody with money or whatever the case may be
• 1:00:04
  it's really not enough. It's never enough. There's always something and then once you have money
• 1:00:09
  in America now because so many people is like one of the top ways to get rich in America. Okay.
• 1:00:15
  So now you're facing that where it never feels safe. And I feel like I was missing that safety that
• 1:00:22
  I would have never involved into this person because I never would have felt safe. Okay. I never
• 1:00:26
  would have felt safe physically emotionally financially. And I feel like that security
• 1:00:33
  comes down your fight of light. So now I don't have like if I hear a loud noise in America I'm
• 1:00:40
  ducking. Really? Am I? Really? Do you know the gun laws? Do you know I walked in a gun shop with no
• 1:00:49
  permit and got a gun? What do you mean? I walked in there. It was pink. It was pretty. I pointed it
• 1:00:56
  out. I paid for it and I took it home. Literally. No permit. No license. I don't even know if they
• 1:01:03
  did the background check on me. I mean I didn't have to feel something out. But I don't even it
• 1:01:09
  didn't take long. It's crazy because the recent case in Mrs. Minneapolis sorry there was a church.
• 1:01:15
  I don't know if you know because Cambodia don't have no news but America but there was a church. It
• 1:01:20
  was a Wednesday. Two children died. I can't remember how many were injured and it was a shooting.
• 1:01:27
  And I posted a video because I saw an image of a lady running towards the scene and the caption
• 1:01:35
  was that this lady is running to see if her child is okay. And there was something about the
• 1:01:41
  image that really struck me right and it reminded me of an interview that I had heard where
• 1:01:48
  a lady said her daughter wanted light up shoes. You know the little shoes and you have the
• 1:01:52
  lights in the soles and her daughter would have been like 46 in terms of age range and the mother
• 1:01:58
  was explaining that she couldn't buy the shoes for her daughter because the first thing that came
• 1:02:04
  to her mind was if there was a shooting at school and her daughter had to hide then her having
• 1:02:11
  these shoes that light up would make her a target. And I was sitting there and I was like
• 1:02:18
  I can't my head cannot get around what that real fear must be like to experience. Like I can't
• 1:02:29
  imagine me trying to send my kids to school and being like yo you need a bullet. I didn't even know
• 1:02:36
  there were bulletproof backpacks until somebody else said that oh yeah I had to buy a bulletproof
• 1:02:41
  backpack and people are speaking about it as if it's normal and I'm like it is normal in America
• 1:02:48
  like really though yeah like I don't but then someone else replied to this post and said I don't
• 1:02:55
  think it has anything to do with the gun laws I own a gun I'm not okay and I'm by the way just
• 1:03:00
  of clear I'm not anti individuals owning guns right in Jamaica we have the right to owner
• 1:03:06
  gun it's not something that I worry about and I don't think it is just the right to have a gun
• 1:03:14
  that causes these things from happening because there are many countries in the world where you can
• 1:03:18
  own a gun yeah this particular shootout mass issue is a very American issue yes it has happened
• 1:03:26
  in a handful of places elsewhere but it's a very culturally an American issue and for you to
• 1:03:32
  describe being able to like get a gun easily I think that that has to come into play I guess
• 1:03:38
  the thing I'm confused about and you don't necessarily have the answer to this by the way because
• 1:03:41
  it's not for you to answer but I don't understand what it would ever take for Americans to want a
• 1:03:49
  change because it seems like even with all of the shootings even with all of these children
• 1:03:54
  who are losing their lives there still seems to be well it's those people's children it's not my
• 1:04:00
  children so I'm fine with the law and I'm just confused I feel like people in America is included
• 1:04:07
  miss the fact that we live in a country that is built on hate okay like people don't want to
• 1:04:14
  acknowledge the fact that this could the foundation of this country it's built on hate so we're
• 1:04:20
  never gonna I don't see us ever I mean Martin the King had a dream and he it was a nice dream
• 1:04:27
  but I don't see America coming to a point where we make laws for everyone because since the
• 1:04:36
  inception of America we have never done that okay we've never been a country that's for everybody
• 1:04:41
  we've never been a country that cares about the entire country we've always cared about our little
• 1:04:48
  sect sure we have a very individualistic society where my friend from Cambodia is now there and
• 1:04:56
  she's going through culture shock and I'm and I prepared her as best as I could what are some of the
• 1:05:01
  things that she's telling you she's struggling with I guess just just not feeling that like when I
• 1:05:09
  go to her house her whole entire family is downstairs okay like they all live in the same house
• 1:05:15
  that's not normal in America we don't live in the same house when you turn 18 you gotta get out but
• 1:05:20
  but she was what 25 and her grown siblings her mom her cousins like to get all in the house
• 1:05:27
  together and they would do things together they would go like I was call her hey what you doing oh
• 1:05:31
  I'm at the park with my family we were having a picnic I'm not going to the picnic like in America
• 1:05:37
  me my family we would have outing so give me wrong like every week me every month we would go
• 1:05:43
  and do something or every summer we might go to Disney we're on stuff like that but it will be a
• 1:05:47
  random Wednesday if you're good outside so we're all gonna go to Konaria and put a blanket out
• 1:05:53
  and eat food right I think she just is surprised by the individualism in America where she's like
• 1:06:01
  she's not she's used to family bands in a way and now she's observing other families and she's
• 1:06:06
  like oh that's not that's not the same that's different and I guess just she works at a school so
• 1:06:13
  I'm pretty sure she's seeing a difference in the kids because the kids here they're kids so they
• 1:06:19
  curse they they do what they do but it's way more respectful okay whereas I'm telling her in
• 1:06:26
  America kids will fight you as an adult they don't have no they'll fight their mom so they
• 1:06:32
  definitely will fight you as a teacher and she's adjusting so there's not that same level of
• 1:06:37
  respect for the teacher student dynamic for the adults really really I feel like in America that's
• 1:06:44
  not to say that all of our children are just normal but I definitely feel like America has a
• 1:06:50
  teaching shortage because of the students the students are the issue and the management I feel
• 1:06:57
  like a lot of people in and that was why I stopped teaching here in in America because I had
• 1:07:04
  American balls here okay yeah like my first year my boss was combined and my second year it was
• 1:07:10
  American person that came and they bought that American mentality to the school and it's like when
• 1:07:15
  you're dealing with kids you kind of have to okay like they need to learn but you still need to
• 1:07:22
  understand this as a child and they don't have the full understanding of the situation or the full
• 1:07:28
  awareness to make decisions with a sound mind okay so when you are just having them or discipline
• 1:07:39
  and then you still need to do it from a spot of understanding that they don't understand right
• 1:07:45
  and I think that's the difference like here in Cambodia I think they're already raised
• 1:07:51
  because I'm not gonna say they're more understanding they're not they I experienced a lot of
• 1:07:56
  child abuse here from parents but I guess I don't know they you know how in America they be like my
• 1:08:03
  mom with me and I turned out fine I mean they know how to act that school they get whipped at home
• 1:08:09
  but they they know how to act that school so I think she's just like seeing just like all the
• 1:08:15
  differences um and like traffic you know cars and yeah do you think she'll say no you don't think so
• 1:08:25
  no she'll say she's dying to get ready can we really yeah and that's another thing I feel like
• 1:08:30
  Americans think that everybody's dying to get to America yes um and they are until they get there
• 1:08:36
  and then they get there and they're like this is it yeah like this is this is it um and I love
• 1:08:43
  home like I definitely feel like visit America because there's some cool stuff to see in America
• 1:08:48
  some cool experiences um you know we have fun in America fun things to do but at the same time
• 1:08:55
  there's things that you're gonna have to consider as a mom as a woman even as a man um like as a
• 1:09:02
  Jamaican man to go to America means now you're just a black man that's how I was telling my friend
• 1:09:08
  she's Cambodian she's black but she looks like a black woman okay so I'm telling her when you
• 1:09:13
  get there you're black now right you're no longer Cambodian and black you're not mixed because
• 1:09:19
  they can't look at you and tell that right you have forcey hair well not forcey like 4b3c something
• 1:09:25
  like that yeah like she she got king um it's not like you know the hair that I'm selling sure so
• 1:09:32
  when you look at her you're not thinking she's Cambodian at best you'll think she just like skin
• 1:09:38
  right so now she's pushed into black America she's pushed into that position of you do need to be
• 1:09:46
  scared when you see the police right because the police not gonna know you Cambodian and black
• 1:09:51
  they just gonna know you black or like I said as a Jamaican man when you come over there
• 1:09:56
  you're now in that black man talking on your back that same target they have you now have it too
• 1:10:02
  and what our immigration situation now like you could be shipped to a country that you you'll
• 1:10:08
  never enter this country so I just feel like it's more it's more things to consider in America
• 1:10:15
  and back to what you said about like how it's changed me and maybe more safe over here
• 1:10:20
  I feel like like I said when I hear a loud sound over here I'm not ducking I'm not scared
• 1:10:28
  um when I'm walking at night by myself it could be through a clock in the morning and I see a
• 1:10:33
  man I'm not scared I don't have that fear of like oh my god he dragged me into alley and do something
• 1:10:40
  to me and Cambodian men are strong they are small in statue but these are strong men like they're
• 1:10:47
  living up refrigerators on their backs right because they don't have you know a lot of the tools
• 1:10:52
  that we have in America so a lot of things that I feel like when people are online and just
• 1:10:58
  tie in like they're comments and how I feel when people are online they're looking at the situation
• 1:11:04
  what an American mindset but you only can grasp it based on what you've seen but if you're not
• 1:11:10
  here and you don't know that I'm in the province and these people love living in the province
• 1:11:14
  then you're gonna say oh you're gonna exploit them they're poor right they're not poor babe they
• 1:11:19
  paid more for their car then you pay for anything you don't have a house they have a house right
• 1:11:25
  you'll probably never see a house you'll probably never own a house they built the house they bought
• 1:11:30
  the materials they don't have a mortgage they might pay a utility bill but you as an American will
• 1:11:35
  never see that life so you're worried about w to be worried about yourself and I think people
• 1:11:40
  get offended when I say that like you can't come and say oh they're poor and you're on section 8
• 1:11:49
  you're a poor yeah you're a fool stance you're a poor if they took it away you will be living in
• 1:11:55
  the same conditions as these people sure people think they have more privilege and they actually do but
• 1:12:00
  it's like these people over here aren't that's not to say there there isn't poverty because
• 1:12:05
  there is poverty I don't want to take that away there is poverty there is things that I've seen that
• 1:12:10
  I'd be like oh my god I want to help them so bad or even like seeing a woman on the side of the
• 1:12:14
  street she's sleep with her kids I'm not gonna let you sleep on the side of the street when I can
• 1:12:18
  get your room for $10 so yeah I'll go get your room for $10 it would be when I give you the $10
• 1:12:23
  I don't care what you do with it but I know that you know I'm saying I did what I could to help but
• 1:12:29
  yeah I think because a lot of us is just judging the situation based off what you see online
• 1:12:33
  I've heard people say they were commenting under my post saying that I was holding Cambodia's hostage
• 1:12:38
  in a concentration camp and shaving their heads and that's how I was getting here yeah
• 1:12:44
  people are really creative people are crazy that's why you can't pay the comments any mind
• 1:12:50
  you can't a lot of some people are getting paid for engagement okay some people are in a
• 1:12:55
  psych ward and they are literally just one here to exercise their brains for the day sure so a lot of
• 1:13:02
  times I just be like whatever I've always been a type of person that people talked about I've
• 1:13:08
  been talking about my whole life so now on the internet scale it's just like I don't understand
• 1:13:14
  internet bullying because you can log out you can log out I can block you and the worst case
• 1:13:20
  scenario we can get your app you tried and you go to jail for talking but we not I'm not going
• 1:13:26
  back and forth with the internet about what I think is wrong what I think is right because as long as
• 1:13:32
  I feel like I'm not doing anything wrong there's no concrete evidence like now if you come to me
• 1:13:38
  and say this happened and this is because of you then I'm gonna accept the evidence and I'm gonna
• 1:13:42
  adjust but as for right now I haven't done anything wrong I'm only seeing my business help people
• 1:13:48
  I haven't seen my business exploit anybody I haven't exploited anybody myself and everything I do
• 1:13:53
  is through Cambodian companies so even on the hair tour every move that we make a local Cambodian
• 1:13:59
  is profiting off of this okay it's not like I'm just I'm really just your tour guide and I'm taking
• 1:14:04
  you to these local businesses for you to patronize their business because it's hard for them to
• 1:14:10
  advertise the literacy rate is low here in America so they can't write it you can't read it you
• 1:14:17
  need something very simple like a video which I'm gonna provide in a tour which I'm gonna provide
• 1:14:23
  what have been if any challenges with with living abroad
• 1:14:29
  definitely the deaths okay um my grandma has died my great-grandma died so I lived over here
• 1:14:35
  as dies as I live over here and I had two friends passed away within the last like two or three weeks
• 1:14:40
  okay um and I don't go home okay and uh I feel like I don't go home because
• 1:14:50
  I wanted those people to intellectualize as my friend list okay so instead of me just feeling a
• 1:14:54
  grief I will try to make it logical um make grief logical in a way of like with my grandma
• 1:15:03
  my grandma was oh okay so I knew eventually she was gonna go right the last time I seen my grandma
• 1:15:12
  she was so full of life she was torquing she was like in her 80s so I just like to think of her
• 1:15:20
  in that like okay versus thinking of the fact that because I wasn't gonna see her anyway I was
• 1:15:25
  gonna be here right so I kind of like it's like logic and delusion okay mixed together whereas I can
• 1:15:31
  kind of act like I just haven't seen you in a long time right um and I don't have to think about
• 1:15:35
  it but at the same time I feel like it's different when it's family and friends because when my
• 1:15:41
  family dies it feels like a power up okay it feels like I don't know what it is but I feel like I
• 1:15:50
  knew my grandma more than I ever knew her once she passed away okay as if I could understand her more
• 1:15:57
  or I don't know she was telling me something I don't know but I felt her more in her death than I
• 1:16:03
  did in her present okay um but with my friends I'm just kind of like that because we all young um
• 1:16:10
  we're all young and it was also sudden both of them were studying one girl I was just talking to
• 1:16:14
  her and then she got in the car sitting at night she passed away yeah and then um the other girl
• 1:16:20
  she beat the cancer the cancer was done and I'm guessing she had to have a surgery and she didn't
• 1:16:26
  make out of the surgery um they both have kids so I feel like on that end I can't tell myself I
• 1:16:33
  haven't seen you in a long time but it'll still creep up okay it'll still be like well you you
• 1:16:41
  got to deal with it somehow um and by that I go to the island okay I go to the island and I just
• 1:16:50
  sit I lay on the beach if I need to cry cry on the beach or but that's where I go to grieve on that
• 1:16:56
  island but going home does it feel like it'll do me any good because everybody said so then it just
• 1:17:03
  makes me feel like I'm just coming around y'all to be sad and I don't necessarily like to think
• 1:17:10
  of death in a satellite okay um just because especially with family because like I said I feel like
• 1:17:15
  I get a power up like I feel like your ancestor now now I have somebody else under my bells like I
• 1:17:21
  have more people to like lean on and and then not even like I'm asking you for stuff but sometimes
• 1:17:29
  like after that stuff happened when those ladies came me that I talked about I woke up the next
• 1:17:33
  morning and it was a song playing that says when I woke up early this morning I don't have any doubt
• 1:17:39
  I didn't have any doubt my grandma sent that song when I was a kid I haven't heard my grandma say
• 1:17:45
  and acquired over 20 years but I could hear her clearly singing this song and I feel like I get
• 1:17:51
  that from when people pass away makes me feel closer okay both my friends I feel like you have your
• 1:17:58
  own family to worry about so I'm kind of just looking at your pictures and you know trying to
• 1:18:03
  understand why this will happen to you but except the fact that it has happened at this point you
• 1:18:09
  know and it's nothing I can do but do you think it's easier to grieve your friends and family after
• 1:18:16
  distance as a physical distance yes you do I do I do I know a lot of people like to have community
• 1:18:23
  around them yeah but I think I only need community like when my parents go because at that point
• 1:18:29
  I'm alone on earth but now have you thought about that all the time I feel like it's a key like
• 1:18:37
  that's the child of only child that's the life of only child you don't have a choice because it's
• 1:18:41
  inevitable it's gonna happen someday so you are I think we want my dad dying sometimes and
• 1:18:49
  are you on the show all you guys said no I'm the favorite I'm the youngest of three
• 1:19:00
  but yeah I'm very close to my dad and I think like you say it's inevitable and I do like to think
• 1:19:08
  about it because I want to be as best prepared yes I agree I have that same reaction like I'm
• 1:19:20
  literally hearing it how do we start making each other I don't know but I'm trying to articulate
• 1:19:26
  and actually say some words but I feel like you think about it because you want to like
• 1:19:32
  be ready yeah but you're not gonna be ready yeah and even in like our travels and stuff
• 1:19:44
  I don't know where we'll settle and like you say you know with your friends it can be anything
• 1:19:49
  can be anytime anything and I don't know if I want to be close if I want to be far to be honest I
• 1:19:58
  think it's probably mash up either way yeah you know I don't know if it's as you said in terms of
• 1:20:05
  your processing being further has helped and I guess I just got a bit emotional because I don't
• 1:20:12
  know I don't know if anything can help you know I know I feel discomfort now okay and it's
• 1:20:21
  conversation but this is something that I've done since childhood where I am picturing the fact
• 1:20:25
  that one day I am gonna be here by myself I did eventually find out my dad had another child okay
• 1:20:30
  so I do have my brother now for my dad but it's just me and my mom sure and I would rather I consider
• 1:20:38
  should I go home like should I go and live close to my mom because it is me and her but I would
• 1:20:43
  rather you see me go be all I can be in your lifetime versus me sitting up under you and you don't
• 1:20:51
  really know what I can do sure and also it's still my life so I always get my mom option like you
• 1:20:58
  can come live here you don't have to pay no bills but she's so she's been working for so long
• 1:21:05
  that she's like I need a job but what am I gonna do when I'm there I'm just gonna be bored
• 1:21:09
  and I'm like be bored sitting that boredom that's how I got to the point where I don't want to do
• 1:21:16
  anything that makes me feel aggressive or I have to be aggressive or I have to be rowdy because
• 1:21:23
  life slow is just so great and I like that I think she likes that she gets to see me live this life
• 1:21:32
  and I but before now when I lived at home I wasn't really I felt like I was stressing her out okay
• 1:21:41
  like she didn't know what I was gonna do and she knew she always say like her goal is to make sure
• 1:21:47
  that I can survive without her and she knew that I'd be fine but she didn't really know what I was
• 1:21:55
  able to do because I'm just working jobs and we both know I hate these jobs I'm very
• 1:22:01
  vocal like my family they're like you can't keep a job I've never tried to keep a job it's not my
• 1:22:08
  thing it's not my ministry but that's all she knows right so I feel like she was nervous she was
• 1:22:15
  trying to figure out what is this girl gonna do like if I go she by herself like and I think now
• 1:22:22
  she can go peacefully okay so I I make peace with that the fact that I had to go do all that I
• 1:22:29
  could do or you never were gonna you never was gonna go and you know be comfortable be happy be
• 1:22:38
  confident in the fact that you can go on to your next version of life or your next version of you
• 1:22:42
  or whatever the case may be and I'll be fine wherever you leave me so I try to feel confident in that
• 1:22:48
  or even my grandma my grandma nobody else I'm the first person to move out of the country okay
• 1:22:57
  and nobody else really even moved out of the state so and my grandma was proud
• 1:23:04
  my great grandma sure um and I found comfort in that like you passed away I haven't seen you in
• 1:23:09
  about a year but I would face time her um and I would talk to her you know as much as I could
• 1:23:18
  but I do think that she enjoyed seeing me go be all I could be versus me being up under her
• 1:23:24
  so I that kind of quiet that conflict like should I go home and be with family because people
• 1:23:29
  are dying right or should I just keep being me doing what I gotta do and I do this a lot of it for
• 1:23:35
  my family like I want to be the one to pass down generational wealth even if I don't have no kids
• 1:23:41
  if I don't have any kids I still have so many little cousins that I'm fine with you know if I
• 1:23:47
  accumulate a million but trillion dollars then I'm fine with dispersing it through all my little
• 1:23:52
  cousins and you know my niece or my nephew we trying to figure out which one is it but um at that
• 1:23:59
  you know it's fine I don't it's not like I'm really doing it for me sure I'm doing it for my family
• 1:24:06
  so if I got to sacrifice me being at this birthday party or this graduation so maybe 10 years down
• 1:24:12
  the line those kids don't have student loans right then I'm I'm cool with that I feel like I'm not
• 1:24:18
  missing nothing y'all y'all might be missing me but I don't think I'm missing anything and I'll
• 1:24:24
  fix time yeah well thank you I don't think my emotions can take me any further in this in this
• 1:24:32
  conversation um is there anything that you would have wanted to to share that we didn't touch up on
• 1:24:37
  um oh my grandma okay woke up um so when we first talked you were like well how did you move like
• 1:24:49
  what what was your deciding factor and I was in a relationship for seven years and we lived
• 1:24:55
  together for about six or seven years we were young we started out life together um but
• 1:25:04
  people have different pathways of life um some people are called to take care of their families
• 1:25:10
  in their hometown and some people are called to go out and do whatever you do and I woke up one
• 1:25:16
  morning it was after my 25th birthday uh and I just heard my grandma say is either this man or it's
• 1:25:23
  your dream life like you have to choose right now are you gonna be with this man and you're gonna
• 1:25:29
  live in this local life and you're gonna have kids and you're gonna are you gonna do that or are
• 1:25:34
  you gonna go be the person that you always thought you were gonna be um and I might be that I chose
• 1:25:40
  me I feel like that was my first time choosing me it was my first time making a decision that was
• 1:25:48
  I didn't think of anybody else but me okay like it was just how am I gonna get to because I'm also
• 1:25:54
  depressed because I haven't got to this point to be me so it's like not only would I be taking on
• 1:26:00
  depression because of ADHD you would be taking on depression for this relationship and it was like
• 1:26:07
  it wasn't him he wasn't about dude it wasn't about relationship but it just didn't align with where
• 1:26:12
  I was supposed to go um and so I fought with that idea for a good little minute because everything
• 1:26:20
  was going fine like it was like I said it wasn't a bad relationship and then I just wake up
• 1:26:24
  in a ghost is like you gotta leave and I'm comfortable I'm spoiled I'm only child so I'm in
• 1:26:30
  this relationship I'm super spoiled I'm getting cars and everything and I'm like what do you mean
• 1:26:36
  like what do you mean I need to go what do you but she was right my grandma was right and it was
• 1:26:42
  it was either I was going to be distracted but I what I was getting at that point right or I was
• 1:26:49
  gonna go and make a life for myself how long before waking up and hearing this really strong message
• 1:26:57
  to actually finishing the relationship and leaving um it was all like within the same year
• 1:27:03
  I least was almost up so I did finish at least right and now I gotta finish at least that was it
• 1:27:10
  yeah I told him like the next day like I don't think we're gonna be together um and from there like
• 1:27:17
  it was a cordial we were cordial and the house together we had a two bedroom already so it was
• 1:27:20
  kind of easy to like separate a lot um but then yeah after that we just moved out and I lived with
• 1:27:28
  my friend for about three months because I was moving an hour and a half to away so I would go back
• 1:27:33
  and forth to like look for apartments and then within three months I got a apartment I moved away
• 1:27:38
  and that was my test run to see how would I react being so far from my mom sure me like anybody that
• 1:27:44
  I knew and I called my aunt and I told her that I was like I'm gonna move here and then I'm gonna
• 1:27:50
  move away and she was like I don't think you should move there I think you should just go and I said
• 1:27:56
  well when I go I'm gonna be leaving the country right so I do want to take this step and she was like
• 1:28:01
  yeah well if you're gonna move to leave the country then maybe you should right and I did and after
• 1:28:06
  my leash she called me and she was like do you remember when you said that you were gonna go
• 1:28:10
  and then you were gonna leave and I was like yeah I really I like it made me more confident because
• 1:28:17
  I got the message I was obedient to the message right I did whatever I had to do because there were
• 1:28:22
  things that tripped me up about moving here like the fact that nobody says no which mean like nobody
• 1:28:29
  says no here if you like you said when you're looking for apartments and they're like this is
• 1:28:34
  available and they know it's not available before they they say yes but they don't want to say no
• 1:28:40
  okay um and it happens a lot to where I've been in a car with strangers because the company
• 1:28:46
  didn't want to tell me no or so like there has been things that I have to maneuver here but
• 1:28:53
  I definitely feel like I don't regret giving up what I gave up because like my life now is so much
• 1:29:00
  better if you left Cambodia tomorrow for the next adventure what are you gonna miss the most
• 1:29:06
  in the mornings when I wake up no matter what apartment I live in there's music playing but it's
• 1:29:10
  like a it's a specific instrument that they're using I don't know what it's called it kind of
• 1:29:14
  looks like a piano but they're I mean it kind of looks like a xylophone okay but it's wooden
• 1:29:20
  and it's I don't know it makes a really cool sound and I always hear it and I love that sound I love
• 1:29:27
  the the instrumental music that I hear here um it's like for me and Jamaica it's the sound of
• 1:29:33
  crickets at nighttime really yeah like if I even if I speak to someone on the phone I can hear it
• 1:29:38
  in the background and like that is the overwhelming like oh yeah yeah I think it's that definitely
• 1:29:45
  that music for me and you can hear it right around the street like there will be people on the side
• 1:29:49
  of the street playing that instrument so everywhere I go I'm hearing if I go to a spa a restaurant
• 1:29:55
  like I said outside of my house if I wake up at four o'clock in the morning they're they're playing
• 1:30:00
  and I really love that sound I can listen to like instrumentals that is of it at that point but
• 1:30:06
  I have an experience in other Asian countries just Cambodia if your life was a postcard what would
• 1:30:12
  the picture look like hmm I would be my life was a postcard I would look real cute and I would have
• 1:30:26
  some cute sunshades and I would be sitting on earth and they would say welcome to my world
• 1:30:35
  amazing yeah I think that's really what I think of life at this point we call like all of my friends
• 1:30:42
  we call this Mobodia this is Mobodia I love that I love that thank you very much no problem thank you
• 1:30:52
  for having me thank you