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What Does It Mean to Create a Sacred Space for Children in Play Therapy? · Next Level Play Therapy: A Podcast for Play Therapy Excellence

• 0:02
  Welcome to Next Level Play Therapy.
• 0:04
  A weekly podcast dedicated to supporting the next generation of child and adolescent therapists to provide exceptional play therapy services.
• 0:14
  We'll explore all things play therapy to elevate your work with children and adolescents using the therapeutic powers of play.
• 0:23
  I'll discuss practical tips and ideas so you can provide a transformative experience for your young clients and make a real difference in their lives.
• 0:33
  So get ready to take your play therapy skills to the next level and make a lasting impact in the lives of children, adolescents, and families.
• 0:47
  Good morning everyone.
• 0:49
  Welcome to this week's episode of Next Level Play Therapy, where we talk about all things play therapy and helping you to take your skills to the next level.
• 1:01
  And this topic that I wanna talk about today is one that I have been pondering lately as I, so I took this course on IFS, internal family systems.
• 1:17
  And then, you know, as therapists, we, we do these courses and we, we do our own work.
• 1:22
  And it was actually, I, I've taken a couple of versions of, um, kind of introductory experiences with internal family systems and I'm kind of hooked on it now.
• 1:38
  It's really awesome.
• 1:40
  What, what came outta that for me was, so I, I've been kind of working on healing for, I'm gonna, I'm gonna guess it's like 40 years now.
• 1:54
  Like how many layers of healing can you actually do?
• 1:59
  And uh, apparently you can do a lot because as I was going through this experience and learning new things, what struck me was the depth of the experience and level more layers of healing, um, that I didn't even realize was back there.
• 2:27
  Right?
• 2:28
  Like, I kind of knew, but I was like, oh, okay.
• 2:29
  You know, we, we worked on that.
• 2:31
  And then going through these experiences, I was shocked how much more there was and grateful for the experiences that I've had and kind of reminded me, you know, that healing process and why we do what we do as play therapists and how we help our clients and the role of spirituality.
• 3:04
  So.
• 3:05
  For clarification, internal family systems is not a spiritual, uh, it's not a religious, um, modality.
• 3:14
  That being said, I feel like healing is a spiritual experience and I have heard so many play therapists, my and myself included, who refer to the work that we're doing really as a calling and not just a profession.
• 3:39
  Which again, to me brings up that whole concept and that of spirituality.
• 3:47
  And so I thought pondered that a little bit more and I thought, you know what?
• 3:52
  We talk about creating a sacred space in play therapy.
• 3:58
  I, uh, in the mental health field in general, I think we talk about creating a sacred space for healing and what exactly does that mean and what does that mean in play therapy?
• 4:13
  And so I thought, well, let's have a conversation about it.
• 4:17
  And I consulted Dr. Google to explore.
• 4:22
  Dr. Google has this AI feature, I know you have to be careful with it for sure, but holy cow, can you get some good things with Dr. Google?
• 4:31
  Um, so, and, and then, then I go down the, the rabbit hole for research and see what research and the mental health field says about spirituality and all of those kinds of things.
• 4:47
  And so today I thought, well, let's focus on sacred space and what does that mean and what does that look like in the playroom?
• 4:58
  And when we're talking about sacred space, there is that, that kind of underlying lying notion of spirituality and, and what does that mean?
• 5:12
  And I look at spirituality and religion is two separate and connected things, and today I wanna do more of a broad spirituality and look at sacred space within the, within that idea of spirituality, not necessarily a specific religious tradition.
• 5:39
  I think though, as play therapists, we have to take that into consideration.
• 5:45
  What are our own religious beliefs or spiritual beliefs?
• 5:49
  What are our beliefs about that?
• 5:51
  Because it influences the way that we engage in the process play therapy process and healing, where you know that authentic use of self.
• 6:02
  And what happens when we bring our authentic use of self into, into the playroom and interact with parents and interact with clients?
• 6:14
  So that's what I wanna talk about today.
• 6:17
  What does it mean to create a sacred space in play therapy for healing?
• 6:23
  And some tips around what does that mean and how do we do that?
• 6:29
  So if you're joining me on the live stream today, I would love to know who's here.
• 6:35
  Post your name in the comments.
• 6:37
  What population do you work with?
• 6:42
  Are you using a specific play therapy model?
• 6:46
  And what are your, what are your thoughts about the topic?
• 6:51
  How do you, I. How do you go about facilitating a sacred space for healing and what does that mean about your own spiritual beliefs and practices, and how do we use our authentic self while also respecting client's right to self-determination, right?
• 7:12
  A classic social work foundational principle.
• 7:18
  So first let's define what is, what does it mean to be, uh, create a sacred space in play therapy?
• 7:29
  And so I think the way that I kind of define sacred space in play therapy is really thinking about the change process, the play therapy process as a deeply personal and transformative experience for children and their families.
• 7:53
  And while it's not considered a, a spiritual journey in the idea of a specific religious practice.
• 8:03
  I think by engaging in the healing process through exploration of emotions and meaning and relationships and my purpose in life, and what does that mean about me.
• 8:20
  I think all of those are kind of a spiritual journey in the healing process to become, become that higher version of ourselves and helping children learn who they are and develop that positive sense of themselves and find their way in the world and, and learn to connect and develop secure attachments with their caregivers and healthy relationships with others, and how that influences my beliefs about myself, others, and relationships.
• 9:06
  So I think we can kind of look at the, the notion of creating that sacred space as a place where children and we invite parents in as well to the change process as a way of self-discovery and exploration and healing at a deeper level using the therapeutic powers of play for children.
• 9:36
  And so I, I don't know about you, but some, I've had some experiences in the play therapy process and the healing process.
• 9:47
  I've been in the mental health field for almost 35 years.
• 9:51
  Um, if you count pre, pre-graduate school, probably 35 years easily.
• 9:59
  And I remember times even being just profoundly impacted by the change process that unfolds in play therapy and what a what a kind of honor it is to be part of witnessing deep and profound change with children and their parents or caregivers, and seeing that healing unfold with children and their families.
• 10:31
  And there have also been times where I, I've had very young children, like seven year olds integrate their faith, like it was their, um, their personal beliefs, not just what parents are telling them, but they have fully integrated.
• 10:52
  Like a, like a 7-year-old working through some of their struggles with emotion regulation and how that impacts self and how do we navigate the world just pick up a sword, kneel on, oh, I get tearful thinking about it.
• 11:09
  Even pick up a sword kneel and put their head down and say, that's how you, that's how you win the battle prayer.
• 11:22
  And I just remember myself, manage your face.
• 11:26
  Don't be shocked.
• 11:27
  Like, wow, seven year olds get it at a at a deep level, his faith was his own personal faith.
• 11:37
  And so as a play therapist leaving, providing that free and protected space in the playroom that would allow healing for that to happen for that child to explore that.
• 11:56
  And work use the play therapist to uh, use the play therapy process to figure some of those out things out.
• 12:06
  What are, what are my beliefs?
• 12:07
  How do I do this?
• 12:08
  How do I navigate the world?
• 12:10
  I'm overwhelmed on a regular basis.
• 12:13
  I do things I don't really mean to do, and my, my parents look at me with a concern face and, and wonder, what does that mean about me?
• 12:23
  You know, 70 year olds kids always wonder if their behavior is gonna push their parents away and make them not love them anymore.
• 12:33
  Right.
• 12:33
  And that, that.
• 12:35
  That's usually not the truth, and that's one of the things that they use the play therapy process to work through.
• 12:44
  Or, or working with adolescents struggling with deep, deep, deep depression using art and their faith to work through and, and grab hold of some light in the darkness, which that's what it felt like for this particular teenager.
• 13:04
  And have that, have that permission to bring their beliefs without judgment or without play therapist influence, like it's their journey.
• 13:18
  We hold the space for them to do that.
• 13:23
  And so defining that sacred space, I think means that we, we provide that free and protected space, that space where the child is experiencing unconditional positive regard in here is a place where you can work things through.
• 13:46
  And I will be present with you providing safety and security walking alongside you on the journey to be able to explore things that maybe I don't feel comfortable exploring with other grownups present because I don't know what the grownups are gonna do.
• 14:08
  Our grownups get triggered and they get worried and they say things and they're not trained therapists, right?
• 14:15
  They're not trained in how to respond or use a play therapy model in order to create that space for healing and guide children and parents I would say along in that journey.
• 14:33
  So let me know what your thoughts are about sacred space.
• 14:38
  How would you define sacred space?
• 14:42
  Post those in the comments.
• 14:43
  So if you're watching on the live stream, I.
• 14:47
  Feel free to post those in the comments.
• 14:50
  I'd love to know your thoughts on it.
• 14:52
  Join the conversation For those of you watching on the replay, then post in the comments.
• 14:59
  I love reading the comments and still engaging and having the conversation.
• 15:04
  I, I'm kind of a play therapy nerd.
• 15:07
  I could probably talk about play therapy all day long.
• 15:09
  Um.
• 15:11
  And I have to make myself do to think about other things.
• 15:16
  So yeah, join the conversation post in the comments.
• 15:21
  If you are listening on the podcast episode, pop over to my Instagram channel at Renewing Hearts Training and Post.
• 15:32
  Send me a message post on the post in the comments.
• 15:37
  When, so we'll usually post, uh, put a post up when the episodes are available.
• 15:42
  I put that up in Instagram as well, but send me a dm. So healing, how are we defining healing as a spiritual journey in play therapy?
• 15:56
  And so the, the, the role of play therapy is to help children work through difficult experiences, develop coping mechanisms, improve emotion regulation through the play, but not necessarily to explore spiritual concepts.
• 16:18
  So if we're thinking of play therapy and spiritual journey, creating that sacred space, then, then what are we talking about?
• 16:29
  And I think, I think one of the ways we can look at the play therapy process as a spiritual journey is really that idea of, um, we create deep connection.
• 16:45
  I mean.
• 16:46
  In the play therapy space, it's that therapeutic use of self with children, I would say also therapeutic use of self with parents and caregivers.
• 16:57
  And so to do that, we're inviting them in to that, that sacred space for healing by tapping into unconditional positive regard and empathy.
• 17:15
  Using congruence to be fully present with unconditional positive regard and empathy.
• 17:23
  We're tapping into, um, my internal experience of that.
• 17:29
  So that can be expressed externally.
• 17:32
  Which means as play therapists, we have to recognize our own biases, our own triggers.
• 17:41
  When that happens, when we're out of congruence, and maybe we're maybe distracted, or maybe a parent has said something that doesn't align with our spiritual beliefs, what does that mean?
• 17:56
  Because sometimes we're also assessing what's healthy and what's not healthy, and.
• 18:00
  And you can have clients who have gone through some really unhealthy spiritual experiences, maybe in their religious community, and then they've, they left their religious community with some deep wounds.
• 18:18
  Or maybe as the play therapist, you've had some deeply wounding experiences with religious communities and religious practice that have, that have influenced you in a way that created some wounds.
• 18:35
  And so having to work through those and so, so all of that, we bring all of ourselves into the playroom, into that therapeutic relationship.
• 18:48
  And then we're still managing.
• 18:51
  Um, our own, our own biases, while also engaging, what, what maybe is, I'm, I am kind of tapping into my resonance circuits and using intuition, picking up on something that's there, and, and.
• 19:09
  Um, maybe it's unhealthy, but now I'm like, is this me?
• 19:13
  I had this conversation last night and um, Play Therapy Elevation Circle, which is my new membership.
• 19:20
  It's not open right now.
• 19:23
  The membership is gonna open soon, so if you're interested in that, you wanna keep in touch with me.
• 19:29
  Um, but we were having a consultation call last night, and that's one of the things that we explore as play therapists is, is this me?
• 19:43
  Is this my bias?
• 19:45
  Or maybe it is me and my bias and I'm still right, that there's some something not right here that's not helping the child and maybe it's hurting the child, and it's part of some of the roots of what's going on causing distress for the child.
• 20:07
  And so that's part of, what we are as play therapists, we are looking at our own internal biases.
• 20:17
  Checking with that while also being fully present in the playroom, demonstrating unconditional positive regard and showing up authentically in a professional way, but still authentically being real.
• 20:37
  And developing these, these relationships.
• 20:41
  Um, which means as play therapists, we are continually engaging in our own healing journey.
• 20:51
  And I think as we are constantly on our journey of healing, uh, somebody asked me once, like, do you ever feel like you've gotten there?
• 21:05
  And I'm.
• 21:05
  I don't know.
• 21:06
  I, I feel like you never stop evolving as a, as a human and that, you know, it's a journey through life.
• 21:17
  And I always say my goal is to be become the next Gandalf.
• 21:22
  Like, I'm gonna be so wise, like a wise wizard that knows just how to guide you to where you need to be.
• 21:31
  Like, like, like Gandalf guided the the Hobbit and Frodo and helped them along the way in their journey to be the hero in their journey.
• 21:41
  And to do that as play therapists, we have to be at a place where we're, um, experiencing our own spiritual journey and seeing this as a calling and being, how do we show up in a way that is healing just in, just that in and of itself, I think that therapeutic presence of unconditional positive regard and empathy and compassion and wisdom and co-regulation where we're able to be the anchor in their storm emotionally while they work through that.
• 22:22
  And exper that corrective experience of that therapeutic relationship, I think is really important.
• 22:31
  And to me that's, that's kind of where I think we experience healing as a spiritual journey.
• 22:39
  And I think our clients experience that as well.
• 22:44
  And, um.
• 22:46
  Then the, the other thing with that is as we're showing up in the play therapy space, um, we're also making sure to honor the uniqueness of each child and family.
• 23:05
  So.
• 23:07
  A lot of play therapists consider play therapy to be a calling, myself including right included, and being able to hold that space for healing.
• 23:17
  So we, we look at it as a calling.
• 23:19
  We want to be part of healing for others that help others to become the best versions of themselves and create strong communities.
• 23:34
  I always say, communities are as, as strong as the, as the families that live in the communities.
• 23:42
  And so looking at families within the community, and, and I think for me it's a, it's kind of a calling to help families heal and change generational patterns of trauma, addiction, and poverty.
• 24:03
  And just sadness and unhealthy relationships.
• 24:09
  If, if we can change one family at a time in a community, then that makes it all worth it.
• 24:17
  Like, how many times have you had a rough day and you've had a rough client, and you're like, oh, why am I doing this?
• 24:24
  I, I'm failing miserably.
• 24:28
  Why am I doing this?
• 24:30
  I, uh, there was a point in time, this was a long, long, long time ago.
• 24:35
  Um, I thought, you know what?
• 24:36
  I'm just gonna go into computers.
• 24:38
  This is, this is like 40 years ago.
• 24:40
  I. Not quite 40, maybe 35.
• 24:43
  So, um, at the time I was thinking computers were big.
• 24:47
  I'm gonna, computers don't have problems.
• 24:50
  I'm so crispy, fried, and burned out.
• 24:52
  I just, I'm not gonna do it.
• 24:54
  I just can't do this.
• 24:56
  It's too hard.
• 24:57
  I'm burnt up and, and crispy and, and, um.
• 25:03
  And then finding my way back and feeling, yeah, this is my calling and here's what needs to happen in order to not get crispy fried in this profession.
• 25:13
  And so it is a calling, wanting to help the next generation of children and families heal.
• 25:24
  And then now as, as somebody who's been in the field, wanna, and you know, I do these live streams, I do trainings.
• 25:31
  I have my Play Therapy Academy program, which is an online program with play therapists who wanna learn how to confidently go from the self-doubting play therapist where they second guess themselves and think they're doing everything wrong and can't figure out how to help their clients and feel like they're making things worse rather than better.
• 25:57
  Helping self-doubting play therapists move to becoming confident play therapy experts.
• 26:05
  That is a cool process to watch as well.
• 26:09
  And to me and, and also play therapy Elevation Circle, which is my.
• 26:14
  Membership program.
• 26:16
  Not quite, um, at the level of play Therapy Academy.
• 26:20
  Just like even having the conversation last night with a, with a play therapist helping to figure out all the scattered things and figure out how do all these fit together and things aren't making sense.
• 26:33
  Putting all the puzzle pieces together to help this play therapist, get a, a solid plan, know what to do, and have.
• 26:42
  A better sense of how to help their client.
• 26:45
  And so the way that I look at it now, doing the trainings, Play Therapy Academy, Play Therapy Elevation circle, all of these are my way of helping play therapists, seasoned play therapist as well as new play therapist, make a difference in your communities.
• 27:07
  And I feel like for me with this as a calling, it, it really does have a much larger impact to help children and parents heal in their communities and create stronger communities.
• 27:25
  And um, I. To do that, you know, one of the things that we have to do is we have to recognize as play therapist, what's my role?
• 27:34
  My role as to play therapist is to be fully present to respect and honor the beliefs and values of each family.
• 27:47
  And help them figure out what the healthy version of that looks like and how to create strong connections between children and their families to help children heal.
• 28:00
  And my personal beliefs, I can, while I can tap into the authentic presence, unconditional positive regard.
• 28:13
  It's also important to make sure that as play therapists, we're not putting our own spiritual beliefs or religious beliefs into, um, how we interact and the suggestions and guidance that we give.
• 28:34
  While also allowing family members to explore areas of maybe some woundedness within some of their religious communities and, um, and help guide them through that process.
• 28:50
  So I think holding space for healing means that we are fully present in the session providing that free and protected space for the individuality of each child and family, that, that as a play therapist, I trust that they can tap into their innate desire for healing and wholeness and move in that direction.
• 29:18
  And I am the, I am the anchor to help them through that process, respecting their, their uniqueness and what is that gonna look like through each stage of the play therapy process to help them get all the way through to healing.
• 29:42
  So that is it for today.
• 29:46
  Um, for today's topic, we have been discussing what does it mean to create a sacred space and play therapy for healing.
• 29:55
  Just a little recap of the discussion today, which, uh, children and.
• 30:02
  As play therapists, we invite children and their parents on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and authenticity.
• 30:12
  So that means that we are, we, it will require our authentic and professional presence in the, in the, and the change process is kind of like that safe anchor in the, in their storm while they're working through challenging and difficult things and then allowing that healing and deep connection to unfold.
• 30:41
  And when you're witness to it, it is so amazing.
• 30:46
  I have seen families where parents are convinced that their child is the next serial murderer because their child is behaviorally out of control.
• 31:02
  They're dysregulated, angry, saying really mean things.
• 31:06
  Nothing they feel like works, nothing.
• 31:09
  They feel like they do works and they're just really worried about their child and not sure what to do.
• 31:17
  And, and in that change process, as we develop trust and we create that safe space for healing, watching that healing unfold.
• 31:30
  The key is though, I think part of that sacred space is respecting the innate desire for healing and wholeness in all of us and in the child's innate desire for healing and wholeness and reins.
• 31:48
  Reassuring parents that children want connection with their parents.
• 31:56
  They really don't want to make their lives miserable because they need their parents and they love their parents.
• 32:04
  And so helping parents and children to reconnect and develop healthy and secure attachments.
• 32:13
  I believe is, um, is a spiritual journey that is amazing to witness and observe and honoring the uniqueness of each, each family as they do that.
• 32:31
  And so, um, healing as a spirit, there is a sacredness about the experience for clients as they navigate through this change process and healing that requires the, the play therapist to separate my own beliefs about spirituality, even though I show up and, and for me, there is a spiritual aspect in, in that it feels like a calling, to help children and families heal.
• 33:06
  I also have to recognize that I have to leave space for the uniqueness of each child and family, their, their spiritual beliefs, or not having spiritual beliefs and maybe having experienced some deep wounding in different religious communities or trauma can impact.
• 33:32
  Um, our beliefs about maybe a higher power and other, the universe, God, whatever, whatever we call that, but, but trauma can negatively impact that.
• 33:50
  And so allow holding space for our clients to work through that in a way that's meaningful for them, and that is the key, that it is meaningful for them as they explore their own spiritual beliefs.
• 34:02
  Or maybe children have parents who have a specific religious tradition and practice and belief, um, beliefs, but maybe the child or the adolescent or the child is not so sure about that.
• 34:15
  Maybe there have been things that have happened in the family that, for the child, seem to contradict what parents are telling them or what they're hearing from their spiritual practice.
• 34:26
  And so allowing that space for the child to work that through in the playroom, giving them that, that free and protected space to do that.
• 34:38
  Um, and then finally, I think as play therapists, we do tap into our own spiritual beliefs to ground us and guide us through that play therapy process.
• 34:52
  How we show up with our clients with unconditional positive regard and empathy.
• 35:00
  Um, and then how we are fully present.
• 35:04
  In the moment with our clients holding that sacred space for them, while we also have to recognize that families and children need to have that, um, space to work through their own beliefs about that.
• 35:23
  So we kind of show up authentically with, and we're grounded through our own spiritual beliefs.
• 35:31
  This is a calling.
• 35:33
  This is a mission.
• 35:34
  We wanna help families heal while also allowing space for children and families to do that in a way that's meaningful for them without imposing our own beliefs on them.
• 35:47
  So that is it for today.
• 35:51
  If you're interested in, um, some courses, I do have some courses available on the website.
• 36:01
  Also, I do have two spaces left in Play Therapy Academy, so if you're interested in joining Play Therapy Academy, which is my online consultation program.
• 36:15
  It's limited space.
• 36:17
  We do small group, so it's limited space.
• 36:21
  We meet twice a month to do consultation calls and you get the benefit of not necess, uh, my 35, almost 35 years experience plus, plus all of the wisdom of the group members, which is, that in and of itself, I feel like is a spiritual journey.
• 36:41
  Just witnessing that.
• 36:44
  Um, support and connection in Play Therapy Academy as we help each other, kind of take all our scattered, oh, we don't know what's going on, or, oh, this is really overwhelming.
• 36:56
  And then, figure out all the pieces to the puzzle and how to put those puzzle pieces together to know exactly what to do in session, getting directions and moving forward in there.
• 37:09
  There are some courses in Play Therapy Academy program as well, and we do a group chat and tons and tons of support so you don't have to do it alone.
• 37:19
  So that, that I do have availability in Play Therapy Academy.
• 37:23
  Now if you're interested.
• 37:25
  Definitely wanna schedule a free 30 minute video call with me to see if Play Therapy Academy is a good fit for you.
• 37:35
  Um, if you don't need that level of care.
• 37:37
  Rest assured coming up, I am gonna be opening up Play Therapy Elevation Circle my membership, um, um, again, so in the membership, lots of support, consultation, just not to the extent we do in play Therapy Academy.
• 37:54
  So that is it for today.
• 37:58
  If you're interested in courses, pop over to my website at rh play therapy training.com.
• 38:08
  On the courses page, you'll find the courses that I have available at this point in time.
• 38:14
  If you're interested in Play Therapy Academy.
• 38:17
  Then pop over to my website at rh play therapy training.com, and then click on the supervision page.
• 38:26
  You can learn more about Play Therapy Academy, scheduling a video call and seeing if Play Therapy Academy is a good fit for you.
• 38:36
  So that is it for today, and I'll see you next week.
• 38:45
  Thank you for joining me on this episode of Next Level Play Therapy.
• 38:50
  I hope you found the discussion valuable and gain new insights and ideas to support your work helping children, adolescents, and families heal.
• 38:59
  If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review.
• 39:05
  Your feedback helps to improve and reach more people who can benefit from this information.
• 39:11
  Remember.
• 39:12
  Play therapy is a powerful tool for healing and growth.
• 39:15
  Whether you're a new play therapist or experienced, I encourage you to continue your learning journey to unlock the potential of play in your own work in relationships.
• 39:26
  If you have any questions or topics, suggestions for future episodes.
• 39:32
  I'd love to hear from you.
• 39:33
  Connect with me on social media and visit my website at renewing Heart Play Therapy Training to stay updated on upcoming episodes, trainings, and resources.
• 39:46
  Thank you once again for listening to Next Level Play Therapy.
• 39:50
  Until next time, keep playing, learning and growing.