Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 103. Gabrielle Bernstein, Bestselling Author & Speaker

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103. Gabrielle Bernstein, Bestselling Author & Speaker · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

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  Speaker 1: Do your best, like forgive yourself all day long. You know,
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  Speaker 1: if you mess up, it's good, it's okay. Just just
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  Speaker 1: raw and real and move to the next right action.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Do your best right now. Guys.
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  Speaker 2: Hey, Hurdler's Emily a body here with episode one hundred
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  Speaker 2: and three of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I
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  Speaker 2: sit down with inspiring individuals to talk about everything from
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  Speaker 2: their big wins to how they've gotten through.
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  Speaker 3: Some of life's toughest moments.
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  Speaker 2: On the show, you can expect vulnerability, motivation, and candid
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  Speaker 2: discussions with everyone from top athletes to aspiring entrepreneurs on
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  Speaker 2: what it really takes to follow your passions.
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  Speaker 3: My mission is simple, to.
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  Speaker 2: Inspire you to be your best self, move with intention,
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  Speaker 2: and have some fun along the way. Today I am
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  Speaker 2: bringing you my really, really special conversation with Gabrielle Bernstein.
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  Speaker 2: Talking with her was something that I have been looking
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  Speaker 2: forward to for a really long time, and it was
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  Speaker 2: refreshing and inspiring.
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  Speaker 3: And just great in so many ways.
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  Speaker 2: She is the number one New York Times best selling
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  Speaker 2: author of the Universe Has Your Back and has written
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  Speaker 2: a slew of other bestsellers, including a book called Super
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  Speaker 2: Attractor released last year.
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  Speaker 3: Which we talked about in today's episode. She's also an
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  Speaker 3: international speaker.
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  Speaker 2: She's lectured everywhere from Oprah's Super Soul Sessions to Google.
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  Speaker 2: She's a certified Kundalini Yoga meditation teacher, so many things now.
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  Speaker 2: In today's episode, Bernstein talks to me about coming of age,
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  Speaker 2: living in New York City, working as a nightlife publicist,
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  Speaker 2: and a two thousand and five Kurdle moment that involved
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  Speaker 2: her sitting on the floor of her West Village apartment,
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  Speaker 2: still under the influence from the night before.
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  Speaker 3: She calls this her rock bottom. At age twenty five,
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  Speaker 3: she knew she needed to make a drastic change, and
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  Speaker 3: she has been sober ever since. Gabby talks to me
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  Speaker 3: about what it was like to follow her calling in
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  Speaker 3: her purpose and start talking to others about spirituality. We
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  Speaker 3: chat about her path to becoming a speaker and an author,
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  Speaker 3: and also she's super open about how she dealt with
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  Speaker 3: postpartum depression and offers up some really great honest advice
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  Speaker 3: for moms everywhere who might be going through the same thing.
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  Speaker 3: To be completely real with you, guys, this is an
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  Speaker 3: interview I chased for a little while, and I'm just again,
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  Speaker 3: so excited to bring it to you today and to
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  Speaker 3: introduce you to this inspiring woman if you have not
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  Speaker 3: come across her stuff yet. I'd also like to highlight
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  Speaker 3: that in the show notes there is a super super
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  Speaker 3: helpful anxiety relief workshop that she shared with the Hurdle
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  Speaker 3: listeners as well as a positive energy meditation. Is something
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  Speaker 3: that I am really amped to dive in to this week.
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  Speaker 2: I love connecting with all of you, so please, if
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: you are listening to this week's episode, last week's episode,
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: any episode, give me a shout out over on social
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: media at Hurdle Podcast and at Emily a Body. As always,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: if you have a hurdle moment of your own to share,
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: or you just want to say.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Hi, reach out to me over email. It's Emily at
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Hurdle dot us. I am sending so many good vibes
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: to you wherever you might be listening to this. With that,
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  Speaker 3: let's get to hurdling today. I am sitting down with
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  Speaker 3: Gabby Bernstein. She's a number one New York Times best
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  Speaker 3: selling author. She's a motivational speaker. Gabby, how else do
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  Speaker 3: you like to describe yourself? I'm a spiritual activist. I'm
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  Speaker 3: a mom and then you yeah, you nailed it. I'm
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  Speaker 3: a can opener in a sense I like to like
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  Speaker 3: crack people open to their spiritual connection. Open up that
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  Speaker 3: can to their spiritual connection. I dig that. I dig that.
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  Speaker 3: I do want to start our conversation by talking about
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  Speaker 3: the Choose Again method from your book Super Attractor. So
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  Speaker 3: would you mind looking me through that and how that's
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  Speaker 3: kind of relevant to what's going on.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, Supertractor's method, the choose Again method, is one of
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  Speaker 1: the greatest methods we could be using right now and
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  Speaker 1: throughout our entire life. So if you're going to learn
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  Speaker 1: it right now because you're hitting a bottom, then great,
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  Speaker 1: master it and then take it with you wherever you
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  Speaker 1: go for the rest of your life. So here we
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  Speaker 1: go the first step. It's a three step process. The
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  Speaker 1: first step is to notice the fearful thought that you
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  Speaker 1: have on repeat. There may be many, but just notice
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  Speaker 1: when they show up. So notice that fearful thought and
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  Speaker 1: then ask yourself, how does this make me feel? How
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  Speaker 1: does this make me feel? And so it may make
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  Speaker 1: you feel anxious or nauseous, or it may make your
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  Speaker 1: shoulders tense. Just identify how it makes you feel. The
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  Speaker 1: second step is to forgive yourself for having that thought.
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  Speaker 1: And why this is so profound is that Abraham Hicks
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  Speaker 1: is a spiritual teacher that at physical teachers they say
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  Speaker 1: that a belief is just a thought that you keep thinking.
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  Speaker 1: So once you have that repetitive thought, you start to
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  Speaker 1: believe it's who you are. But when you practice step two,
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  Speaker 1: and you forgive yourself for having that thought. What happens
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  Speaker 1: is is that you see that that thought isn't who
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  Speaker 1: I am. That thought isn't my reality. That's just a
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  Speaker 1: thought that I keep thinking. That's step two. Forgive yourself
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  Speaker 1: for having that thought. The third step is the most
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  Speaker 1: profound part, which is to choose again. And this is
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  Speaker 1: where you start to reach for the next best feeling thought. So,
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  Speaker 1: for instance, you know, I'm a I'm a mama, and
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  Speaker 1: I'm a business owner, and I have a team of
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  Speaker 1: twenty that I'm you know, keeping going and keep keeping
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  Speaker 1: keeping it all moving and flowing, and we don't have
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  Speaker 1: any childcare at the moment, so my husband are both
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  Speaker 1: running our business. And you know, everybody's got their own story, right,
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  Speaker 1: So I was in this story of like, it's exhausting
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  Speaker 1: to be a mom and do this work and you know,
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  Speaker 1: whatever it was. And then I forgave myself for having
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  Speaker 1: that thought, because if I hadn't forgiven myself, I would
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  Speaker 1: have judged myself right, like, oh, there's people have it
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  Speaker 1: way worse than you, Gadby, how dare you say that?
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 3: You know?
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  Speaker 1: But I forgive myself, let myself off the hook for that.
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  Speaker 1: And then the third step was to reach for the
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  Speaker 1: next best feeling thought. And so I started reaching for
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  Speaker 1: this amazing thought, which is that this is this beautiful
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  Speaker 1: time where I'm spending hours and hours a day intimately
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  Speaker 1: connected with my son in ways like you know, walking
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  Speaker 1: in the snow or cooking together. I have a fifteen
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  Speaker 1: month old, so this is like serious and just really
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  Speaker 1: really devoting my life to him at this time in
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  Speaker 1: a way that I never would have been able to
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  Speaker 1: if I had that childcare all day while I was working.
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  Speaker 1: And then this bond that I have with my husband
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  Speaker 1: and that I can be creative with both of them,
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  Speaker 1: and that I have someone supporting me to create a
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  Speaker 1: schedule throughout the day so he and I can go
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  Speaker 1: back and forth, and just reaching and reaching and reaching
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  Speaker 1: for the next best feeling thought. So that's the practice,
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  Speaker 1: those three steps. That was just my example of today.
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  Speaker 3: It's super it's super super powerful, and I thought it
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  Speaker 3: would be a good way for us to kind of
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  Speaker 3: ease in and to get to know, you know, a
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  Speaker 3: little bit about who you are and what kinds of
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  Speaker 3: topics and you're talking about, and how you are working
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  Speaker 3: with the people that keep up with you. I would
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  Speaker 3: love to dial it back a little bit. Obviously, you
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  Speaker 3: don't have a team of twenty that just pops up overnight.
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  Speaker 3: You've done a lot of work to get to where
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  Speaker 3: you are, So tell me a little bit about where
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  Speaker 3: you grow up.
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  Speaker 1: I was always, I think I was always on this
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  Speaker 1: mission to be a spiritual teacher. When I was fourteen
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  Speaker 1: years old, I was the president of the regional Jewish
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  Speaker 1: youth group and like leading these spiritual weekends and temples,
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  Speaker 1: and I was just really committed and devoted to being
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  Speaker 1: a leader. And then when I was in my early twenties,
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  Speaker 1: I was I started a PR company and I represented clubs,
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  Speaker 1: and I was really looking for that happiness outside of myself,
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  Speaker 1: and it was very addicted to outside sources of feeling
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  Speaker 1: good enough, and.
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  Speaker 3: That led me down a dark road where I became
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  Speaker 3: a drug addict. And at that time, by the time
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  Speaker 3: I was twenty five, I hit a really big bottom
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  Speaker 3: with my drug addiction. And the beauty.
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  Speaker 1: The beauty was I was always still on my spiritual paths,
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  Speaker 1: seeking and seeking and seeking, and so when I was
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  Speaker 1: twenty five, I made a commitment to myself to get
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  Speaker 1: clean and I've been clean now for fifteen years. Congratulations
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  Speaker 1: that my sobriety was really the catalyst for reconnecting to
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  Speaker 1: my spiritual faith in a way that was really really
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  Speaker 1: major for me. And at that point I started speaking
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  Speaker 1: publicly I'm on spiritual topics, and a few years later
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  Speaker 1: wrote my first book, and I've written eight books since then.
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  Speaker 3: Did it feel really nerve wracking or really natural at
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  Speaker 3: first to speak out and share your story.
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  Speaker 1: No, it's natural. So my teaching style is a full transparency,
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  Speaker 1: authentic truth. So for me, I feel like it's this
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  Speaker 1: you go first thing where I share a story that's
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  Speaker 1: genuinely true and authentic and honest, and I only share
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  Speaker 1: that story when I feel I have moved through it
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  Speaker 1: completely to a point where I'm healthy with it, and
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  Speaker 1: I share all the tools and the methods of what
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  Speaker 1: it is and I have used to resurrect myself from
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  Speaker 1: that bottom or that suffering or that addiction, or that
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  Speaker 1: pain or that trauma. And in the truth of my story,
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  Speaker 1: I think when you go first, people recognize their stories
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  Speaker 1: in you, and it gives them permission to really show
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  Speaker 1: up for themselves and admit to themselves what's going on.
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  Speaker 3: Truly. So my whole life and career have been devoted
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  Speaker 3: to telling the truth and being real. When you made
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  Speaker 3: the conscious choice to get sober and to make a
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  Speaker 3: big life pivot, did you abandon the pr life? Well?
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  Speaker 3: I did. I did. A year I had where I was,
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  Speaker 3: I was like a publicist by day and a motivational
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  Speaker 3: speaker by night.
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  Speaker 1: And then in a year's time, my coaching really picked up,
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  Speaker 1: My group coaching really picked up. My talks went from
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  Speaker 1: fifty people to one hundred people to two hundred people,
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  Speaker 1: and it was just a real fast momentum. And this
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  Speaker 1: was a time before wellness was such a trend. It
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: was a time before anyone was gluten free, no one
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  Speaker 1: was drinking green juice. You know, you were you were
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  Speaker 1: hippie if you went to you know, the health food store,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: so which I really was at the time, and so
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: you know, it was this is fifteen years ago, So
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  Speaker 1: this is way way, you know, before this new zeitgeist
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  Speaker 1: of wellness. And I just, you know, I just saw
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  Speaker 1: the momentum and I witnessed it, and I just had
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  Speaker 1: such fond memories of that time, and sometimes I wish
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  Speaker 1: I could just like go back in time and sit
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  Speaker 1: in those rooms with my group coaching workshops with like
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  Speaker 1: ten women and just go deep and channeling with them
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  Speaker 1: and all the stuff that we did.
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  Speaker 3: But it's not where we are at anymore, not anymore.
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  Speaker 3: I think when you're starting to build something great as
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: you have, it can be pretty standard to at one
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  Speaker 3: point or another experience a little bit of imposter syndrome.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: And I can only imagine as you were talking to
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  Speaker 3: more and more people at times it could have felt
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: a little overwhelming. So how did you stay on track
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  Speaker 3: with that? How did you keep motivated and kind of
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  Speaker 3: keep on the path. I've never had any My career
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  Speaker 3: has been an area of my life that has been
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  Speaker 3: really clean. There's been no disbelief. Doesn't mean that there
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  Speaker 3: haven't been other areas where there's been a lot of
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  Speaker 3: suffering and disbelief that I've worked through tremendously with my career.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: I think I've always lived with this quote in the
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  Speaker 3: back of my mind. Is this Joan of Arc quote,
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  Speaker 3: which is I am not afraid. I was born to
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  Speaker 3: do this, And that's my mantra. I love mantra like that.
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  Speaker 3: I love when you have like a guiding principle that
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  Speaker 3: kind of keeps you to your true north. Mmmm, totally.
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  Speaker 3: So okay, you are doing more and more speaking, you're
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: growing this new career path of yours. And then do
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: you remember the moment where you kind of came to
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  Speaker 3: the realization that this was the way and that you
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: could leave all that pr behind and really just make
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  Speaker 3: this full pivot. I knew it right when I got clean.
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  Speaker 3: I just was willing to take my time so that
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  Speaker 3: I wouldn't overwhelm my nervous system. Right.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: So, if you're in a transition with your career, the
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: best thing to do is, you know, have a side
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: hustle for a while, because you don't want to just
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: pull the trigger and then be financially insecure, because then
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  Speaker 1: that makes it puts in a place where you resent
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: the passion project because it's too scary. So I don't
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: think there's anything wrong with having a side gig and
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: a side hustle for a while.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, So you are living in New York as this
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: is all picking up, correct, And what else about your
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: life is starting to change? Because it's not like on
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: one side totally shifts and then everything else says as is.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sure you started to develop other interests,
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  Speaker 3: other hobbies. Yeah, as soon as I got sober, I
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  Speaker 3: started changing my patterns. I started rollerblading all over New
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: York City and going to yoga classes and drinking and
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: going to like raw food parties and things that were
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: totally bizarre at the time. But that's a food party.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like no one was into this stuff, and there
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: was just like people like in the East Village throwing
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: parties that are like all about raw food. And this
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: new trends occurring around me. And I really devoted my
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: life to leading talks. So I spent six like five
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: or six years doing the talk every single month on
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: different topics. And this was all even leading up to
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: my first book launching. So the top topics would be
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: fearless relationships or forgiveness or body love or whatever the
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: topic was. And then I started doing these really large
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: group coaching workshops and yoga studies, become like a few
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: hundred people and then be like busting out of the space,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: and I don't know, just everything changed for me. It
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: was just really really really empowering to be in the
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: light and the inspiration of this fucking awesome message that
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I was so devoted to in my own life. And
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: then to have the privilege of being able to share
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: it with others, and that privilege just gets stronger and
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: stronger for me every single day, and I'm just I
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: feel so deeply blessed to be able to do this
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: work and to be this type of messenger in this
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: way at this time, particularly right now, when people are
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: losing their minds, and I'm so glad that I can
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: help people come back to safety. And that's my help.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: That's my primary intention at this time as we go
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: through this pandemic. I just want to bring people back
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: to safety.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: And what a beautiful mission. As you further along in
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: your career, you also further along in your personal life.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: And I know that. I mean, aside from the hurdle
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: of addiction and then getting sober, you also went through
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: hurdles when it came to having your baby boy. So
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: talk to me a little bit about becoming a mom.
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  Speaker 3: So it took me three years to conceive my son,
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  Speaker 3: and in that time, I actually remembered a childhood traumatic
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: event which was a huge part of the reason why
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: my body wasn't able to conceive because I was in
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: a constant state of hyper arousal as a result of
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: being having PCSD that I was unaware of. So in
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: the three years, I really did a tremendous, tremendous amount
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: of trauma therapy and healing work that really helped me
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: restore my nervous system, heal my gut, you get back
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: into a parasympathetic state, and really change who I was
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: as a human. And all of that hard work is
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: what allowed my body to be receptive enough to create life.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: And I gave birth to my son fifteen months ago
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  Speaker 3: and then had the great privilege of having debilitating suicidal
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: postpartum depression and anxiety. And I actually am not being sarcastic.
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: I'm being completely serious when I share that that was
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: a privilege because what it gave me was this deep,
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: true understanding of mental illness. And it gave me an
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: understanding of the power of medication when it's deeply needed,
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: and how it saved my life. And I can speak
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: to people who are deeply suffering with mental illness now
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: from a place of genuine understanding and compassion and authority
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: because I've survived it, and you know, I and I
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: did things, and I you know, I had to go
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: get medicated, which was something that was never on my
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: agenda right here. I was like probably part of the
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: stigma telling people to meditate when they were depressed, and
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: they would be you know, when you have a biochemical condition,
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: meditation isn't going to work until you get to a
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: place where you have enough serotonin to function, you know.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: So that was an interesting period of my life that
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: I really am grateful for, and I'm particularly grateful to
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: be out of it now. Talk to me about I mean,
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: how did you feel when you first started to have
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: these thoughts, because I think, especially as a new mom,
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: you're in this place where you want to be this
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: small humans caretaker, you want to show up for them fully,
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: and then you're feeling debilitated. Yeah, it's dark, you know.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: I think that for me, it showed up about four
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: months in, and I think it's important to share that
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: because they only really track you. Doctors and everyone are
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: only really tracking you up until six weeks because that's
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: typically when it shows up. But for me, it came
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: at four months.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I started really with panic attacks and agoraphobia and insomnia,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: which then led to depression and suicidal thoughts because if
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: you know, if I wasn't sleeping for weeks, that will
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: make anyone want to kill themselves. So you know, I
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: just I just had enough. It took me two months
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: to really pin it down and just accept that it
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: was really also the great the grace of God moving
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: through my therapist who had an intervention with me and
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: my husband and says she has to get medica or
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: she'll die. You know, she was like, it's time get
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: her medicated. And that's when I called it excellent postpartum
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: psychiatrist who guided my medicated path and saved my life.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: So one of your biggest pieces of advice for new
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: moms who may be feeling the same way as you
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: would be.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Go to the Motherhood Center on Instagram or Motherhoodcenter dot
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: org and they're based in New York City. But they
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: also do tele a support obviously right now they are
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: and they can guide you. If you don't feel that
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: you have access to a psychiatrist or you don't have
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: access to an obgyn that can help you diagnose your symptoms,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: they can help you. Postpartum International is a great place
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: to go to. But the number one thing I would say,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: would we do not ignore your symptoms.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: I think it's really beautiful how open you are and
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: how your mission has become to just help in whatever
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: way you can when it comes to how you kind
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: of go about your day to day, how you handle
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: your practices. Give me some insight into what that looks
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: like for you. I have a really devoted meditation practice.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: Try I practice trends and dental meditation, so I do
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: twenty minutes twice a day. I am practicing my principles
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: like a full time job. I recorded this really fucking
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: awesome meditation yesterday just because I've set up this whole
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: recording studio in my house right now and I'm doing
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: a training, a whole anxiety relief hour long training.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I'll give you the link. You can give it to everybody.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: It's totally free, so I could recorded in meditation as
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: another additional giveaway for that. And it's like this affirmation meditation.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: And then I've had my team put music behind it,
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: and within an hour I had this like unbelievably epic
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: of affirmation meditation. And I got to be honest with you, I'm.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Listening to it all day long. I've got it on repeat.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: This I don't.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: I'm just I'm drinking my own juice here, honey. I
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: am like really really practicing what I preach and following
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: all my methods and using emotional freedom technique. And I'm
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: doing many therapy sessions a week with different healers. I
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: have an energy healer that cuts chords for me every
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: single week. I have amdr therapists that helped me with
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: my nervous system. I'm doing EFT on my own. I'm
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: just in it to win it. I do not This
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: is not a time for me to lose my center.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: I am feeling extremely called to rise up and be
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: of service. And the way that I can be an
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: activist in the world is to help spiritual help people
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: find a spiritual solution at this time and help people
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: regulate their nervous system and heal their mental condition through
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: these meditative practices and CPT practices and everything that I'm offering.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: So I just I just have to show up. And
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: with that desire to show up, I have to show
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: up for myself first.
• 22:53
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• 24:30
  Speaker 2: check out for twenty percent off today. And I think
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  Speaker 2: a lot of people are leaning into meditation, perhaps uh
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: for the first time right now, as we're all trying
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: to figure out the best way to deal with what's happening.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: For those that are a little hesitant to something like
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: that but are willing to make some shifts. I love
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: what I think I read unless I listen to it
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: about your sleep hygiene and your sleep practice. So why
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: don't you talk me through the importance of having a
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: good quality sleep hygiene and what that means for you.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you run the risk right now, and we're you know,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: at any time in life, but particularly right now with
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: this pandemic and even after if you're listening to this,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: because you may have some PTSD from it. So you
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: want to really make your sleep hygiene a high priority.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: And here are some strong suggestions. So turn off your phone,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: in your computer, and all your devices an hour at
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: least an hour before bed, put them in a different room,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: completely shut down. Then you'll want to have a wind
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: down routine where maybe you take a bath, maybe you shower,
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: maybe do a little yoga, maybe you listen to meditation,
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: maybe you read a soothing self help book, whatever it
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: is that can help you wind down, and don't get
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: in bed until you're ready to actually fall asleep. So
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: it's really important in the sleep hygiene folks say that
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: you know the only thing you want to do in
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: your bed is have sex or sleep, So wind it
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: down and then get in bed and be ready to sleep.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: And there's some sleep hypnosis techniques that I've been doing.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: My hypnosis teacher, Melissa Tears, she taught me something where
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: you can do a heart breath where you breathe energy
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: into your heart and then you extend it out and
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: you keep breathing deeply in and out of your heart,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: so breathing into your heart and then exhaling through your heart,
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: and breathing into your heart and exhaling through your heart
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: and letting that just expand. And there's a lot of
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I have a million hypnosis things that I've been doing,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: but taking it super seriously.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: Of course. You know my husband, I've got a rule
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: with him. You can't we run a business together?
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: And sometimes right before I was about to go to bed,
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: he'd run in the room and be like, we need
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: to change this, and I was like, no work talk
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: after six and no big talk in the bedroom.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: I definitely think that's something that a lot of people
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: are probably struggling with right now. To the max is
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: when there's very little separation between your work space and
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: your sleep space. I mean, I live in a one
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: bedroom apartment. I'm so thankful to have at least different
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: areas to do both in. But for these people that
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: their work computer is so close to where they can
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: finally relax and kick back and not having that separation,
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: it's so important to have that separation.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I have some advice on that. So
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I were from home for the past. I had an
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: office when I ran my PR business, but for maybe
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: the past sixteen years, okay. And when I first started
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: working from home, I was in like a one room
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: studio apartment, and so I had to create s a
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: desk space that was even in that one room, so
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: it's still my bedroom. Then I moved upstairs to a
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: studio apartment that had a little kitchen that was separate
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: so it was like everything was my bedroom or there
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: was a kitchen, and I put a desk in that
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: kitchen and I wrote two books in that kitchen. Two
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: of my first two books I wrote in that kitchen.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: And it was like my back was like up against
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: the fridge and I had this window right there, and
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: you know, I was just I was just doing the.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: Best I could.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: So I think, just where, however, you can create a
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: space that's devoted to where you work and set up
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: a desk, and if it happens to be in the
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: same room that your bed is in, then light some
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: sage before you go to bed. I don't mean to
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: sound like a total hippie, but like light some sage
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: because you want to clear the energy of that work
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: day before you go to bed.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: I love what you said about just doing your best.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: I think right now that's really important, don't you. Just
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: this idea of doing the best you can with what
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: you have and not judging the things that you don't
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: or a circumstance that isn't and instead of being angry
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: about what is. Yeah, this is I've had so many
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: interviews today and this is like the theme is just
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: do your best, do your best, Do your best. And
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: I just did an interview on a mom mom podcast
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: and I was just like, moms, do your best, like
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: forgive yourself all day long.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: You know, if you mess up, it's good, it's okay.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Just just raw and real and move to the next
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: right action. Do your best right now, guys, do your best.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: What would you say has been one of the biggest
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: lessons that being a mom has taught you over these
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: past fifteen months so far?
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: Presence? Get off that phone and be present really valuable.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: Do you have any thing in terms of your career
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: that you have yet to do that you've got your
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: sight set on. No, but I know there is more
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: in what sense.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: I just know that there is more that God is
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: asking of me, and I know it's coming psychically, and
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to say yes to it because it's
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: what I'm being called to do. But if you were
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: to say there are more you want or think you
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: need to do, the answers, no. I feel so on
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: mission and I feel so on purpose, and I feel
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: like everything I've done to date is far beyond my
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: wildest dreams. And I do anticipate more, but I'm not
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: going to need it or want it, I'm just going
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: to let it come to me.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: I know we could record a separate podcast on this,
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: so I won't have you go too deep on it.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: But I think what could be really helpful for the
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: audience is if you had to offer about two I
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: would say suggestions on how to break addictive behavior, and
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: maybe these are tricks or tips that worked for you.
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: For anyone that feels like they're struggling and they don't
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: really know where to start, what would you offer to them? First?
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: You could use that shoes again method, because what it
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: is is it's a thought interruption, and an addictive pattern
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: starts with a thought. You know, I don't want to
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: feel that I'm going to do this instead, so you
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: could use that shoes again method that I taught at
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: the top of this and continue to reprogram your thinking.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: But the most important thing to recognize about addiction is
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: that addiction comes from trauma. So we act out with
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: addictive patterns because we have and we have an impermissible
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: feeling of discomfort, rage, anger, uncertainty or shame and so
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: or there's other emotions, but shame is the biggest one.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: So we act out to try to control our circumstances
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: so we don't have to feel that pain. The best
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: thing you could do to really heal an addictive pattern
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: would be to do some type of therapeutic work, whether
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: it be a twelve step program, whether it be a
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: therapy with a one on one therapist, whether it be
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: going into a treatment center, whether it be doing you know,
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: Russell Brant wrote a beautiful book on the twelve Steps,
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: like just whatever it may be that can help you
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: recognize and identify your addictive patterns and heal the core wounds.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: In my book Judgment Detox, I really I think it's
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: an excellent book for addicts, as is my book Spirit Junkie.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: But the goal would be to be willing and brave
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: enough to go to the places that scare you, because
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: it's those places that scare you that keep you in
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: your addiction. People come to your page and they might
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: see a woman who is rooted in her convictions of
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: spirituality and wants to help as much as she can.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: When you look in the mirror, what is it that
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: you see staring back at you. I see a woman
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: who has done a shitload of transformational work, who is
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: standing grounded in a very, very very empowered place, and
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: I see someone who has a lot to share and
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: a lot to give, and I feel proud of her.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I love her, I'm proud of her. Do you have
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: any goals over this time that we're in the shift
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: to stay centered? Isn't that a beautiful goal though, instead
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: of saying I want to conquer everest or so many
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: of the other things that we feel so much pressure
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: to be just so overproductive in this time. Yeah, I
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: think that all of us have to make our primary
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: intention to stay centered.
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: You have an opportunity right now to offer yourself one
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: piece of advice looking back on that twenty five year
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: old girl who is struggling and coming back late hours
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: of the night into the morning. You an opportunity right
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: now to offer her one piece of advice looking back
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: on that.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Now, what do you tell her? I would tell her,
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: don't be afraid. The universe has your back.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much for your time, Gabby, I really
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: really appreciate it. You're awesome. Thank you, mama. This was fun.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: Where can they keep up with you? How do they
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: keep up with you? Give me the dats just Gabbyburnstein
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: dot com or at Gabby Bernstein on Facebook. Instagram, Twitter, Yeah,
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: that's me all the stuff. Well, thank you for all
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: that you do, and that's it. Another hurdle conquered. Catch
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: you guys next time.