Latest / Harder Than Life / 1: Welcome to Harder than Life w/ Special Guest Craig Siegel

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1: Welcome to Harder than Life w/ Special Guest Craig Siegel · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living
• 0:15
  All right, welcome to the Heart of the Life podcast. I'm your host, Kelly Siegel. I don't have a human on today. He is a rocket ship headed straight for stardom. He is a mythical creature with his accomplishments. Since entering the personal development space a short two years ago, he's amassed nearly 4 million downloads on his podcast, has over 120,000 followers on Instagram, and is keynoted worldwide and, oh, and got engaged to the woman of his dreams.
• 0:41
  He is performance coach, global keynote speaker by day, but a real super fly guy. And I'm honored to call him my friend, Craig the Game Siegel.
• 0:54
  Now that's an introduction. My goodness. You just set the bar. Wow. It feels great to be on the receiving end of one of those. I'm usually the one dishing them out. And I've never heard it articulated quite like that. The mythical creature, the rocket ship, I appreciate it. I receive it all. And most importantly, a friend. I love you, buddy. I'm glad to be here. Let's rock. I love you too. It's funny. My beard hit the microphone, so I hope it recorded correctly. But it is what it is. We'll figure it out. This is the first time, but it won't be the last time.
• 1:24
  Craig, everyone knows about your accomplishments, what you do and how you did it. If not, just head over to any podcast, especially the CLS podcast. So we're going to go down a different path, which I'm sure you expected with me. So my very first question is someone you're going to be very familiar with. And I just we've had many conversations and I want to ask you, what's your superpower? Yeah.
• 1:53
  I think I have a couple. I say very humbly. One of them is consistency. I'm absolutely consistent because I revert back to the standards. And when I have a big goal or vision, I reverse engineer it. And then I talk about what's required to get there. And as I always say, I marry the process and that's just not negotiable.
• 2:14
  Period. And it sounds a little like not the sexy Santa, but so many people come to me, they want to do the work, they want the rocket ship, all the success. I say, that's great, but do you want to do what I did? Right? And I see a lot of people not do that straight up. And also I'm just a bit obsessed. And it's interesting, depending upon who you ask, people might think that's unhealthy or healthy. I think having healthy obsessions is a great thing.
• 2:42
  And when I finally found myself and really started to put this stuff together, I became obsessed with it. So you combine the obsession with the consistency. And I believe those are my superpowers, Kelly. That's a great answer. But, you know, we're already going to deviate from what I've planned because you said something that I know the listeners are going to understand. This is why you and I are such good friends. Reverse engineer the process. That is...
• 3:12
  I don't know if it's a seagullism or not, but I do the same thing. I start deconstructing it backwards. Begin with the end in mind. I said a lot. Talk to the average neophyte about what that really means. So pick something in the day-to-day life and reverse engineer it for the listeners. So many people become paralyzed by what it's going to take to get somewhere that they stop before they even begin. In order for me to break it down and simplify it,
• 3:40
  I set the intention. I have a really big goal. I'm a really big thinker. I visualize what that might look like. Okay, great. Put that on the whiteboard, slap that in the journal. And then we reverse engineer it. Literally from all the way out there to step one. Okay, that's all great.
• 3:57
  but how do we actually get there? What's the first thing that I need to do? What first down do I need to get today? Do I need to start a brand? Take out a website name, start to build some branding, put content out there, speak to people, shake hands. What's the first step? So I have the intention, but then I break it down and organize it from reverse backwards so I could begin with the first step. And that's how I marry the process and divorce the outcome.
• 4:24
  Love it. And then be obsessed with it. It's, it's, I get it. It's, it's being all in. I, I, dude, that's, this is why I met you. So you self-proclaim that you're weird and strange.
• 4:37
  I don't think so. And I think it's it sounds a lot like a defense mechanism for being genuine and authentic to yourself. Elaborate on my thoughts and what you think. First of all, that was beautifully articulated. I received that. Thank you. And I don't necessarily disagree. I think what I mean by weird and strange is.
• 4:56
  I have a weird vocabulary. I get these catchphrases, right? I'll refer to my haircut as a hairpiece. And my mom will be like, why do you say that? Everyone's going to think you're wearing a toupee. And I just say all these what I think to be weird things, but apparently they're very catchy. But you're right. It is authentic. It's genuine. It's not a facade. This is me. And this is the stuff that I used to try to hide. And.
• 5:18
  Ironically enough, and when I first started CLS, I said there's no guarantee, but I'm going to make myself one promise. No matter what happens, I'm going to show the world my hand. I'm going to be 100% authentic. I think it's weird. You may say genuine. Pick your poison. But I'm going to show up as the real version of myself. And ironically enough, the more vulnerable or weird, as I like to say, I am, the thicker the connection with the audience and community.
• 5:43
  Well, now you just said something that speaks to my soul. Vulnerability. You'll hear me say this on our calls and all the time. Vulnerability is the new cool. I say it. What was your response to that about why as men can we not be vulnerable? That's why I always seem to gravitate towards the feminine because I think vulnerability is really being a man.
• 6:08
  Yeah, same. And I think maybe from society or upbringing, depending upon how you were brought up, maybe you were taught or it seemed like if you talked about your feelings as a man, that was looked upon as being weak or fragile or frail. But I think now, especially, you know, a lot of people talk about –
• 6:28
  the results, I shouldn't say results, like the consequences from the pandemic from a business standpoint. Now we're dealing with inflation and stuff like that. But I think what a lot of people don't talk about, and I'm really glad that you just created space for this, is what about the mental component from the pandemic, being locked inside and not being social for so long. And I think that the more people talk about that and be vulnerable and express how they're feeling, it gives others the opportunity to do so as well.
• 6:56
  Clearly, if you look at the news, we're seeing a lot of people take their own life, people that you would never expect to. My guess is because they thought it was frowned upon or perceived to be weak if they talked about their feelings or if they were struggling with something when the truth is it couldn't be farther from the truth. You know that. I'm starting to learn that, and I really want the world, specifically men, to understand that.
• 7:21
  that vulnerability is sexy and it's powerful. And if you are struggling with something, talk about it because it creates an opportunity for others to come forward as well. Well, I like to say this, you're not alone. And you matter and people care. And the big thing about you're not alone, everybody thinks that their feelings are unique to them. They're not. And we're all feeling the same things. So we're all here for you. We talked about that with our dear mutual friend, Matt Hedden. He talked a lot about that. It was pretty interesting.
• 7:51
  All the research I've done on you after I met you, I don't hear anything about your childhood. I see some of the things of your parents that look like you have beautiful, nice Jewish parents. And talk about your upbringing a little bit. I just, you shy away from it. You always started at the pandemic in 2020 and being on Wall Street. Tell me about what it was like being, you know, you're the little seagull now, but let's talk about little seagull.
• 8:21
  Yeah. You know, I was never really 100% motivated. I knew I was here for a bigger reason. I was never able to put it together. I like to play sports. I wasn't the most athletic. I always loved movies. I was considered a popular kid in school. Although the friends that I gravitated towards, I look back now and nothing personal. It just is what it is. I don't have anything really in common with them. But at the time,
• 8:45
  I think maybe I was trying to fit in. I never got in that much trouble, you know, and I've got arrested or anything like that. Suspended from school once or twice, but no big deal. But ultimately, just unfulfilled. And then I went to college and I had fun. And the thing about college was it's interesting because I just wrote a chapter in my book about education and does education mean college? Not necessarily.
• 9:13
  I think college was great for me because of what I learned as a man, right? Responsibility, being on your own, independence and all that stuff. But I didn't learn a whole lot about what I want to do with my life. So after I graduated and I got to Wall Street and I found personal development, that's like when I was really born, I feel like.
• 9:33
  And also, I had all those trials and tribulations throughout that season until I put it all together in the pandemic. But up until that, it's pretty standard. I come from a very close family. My brother, my only sibling, is my best friend in the world. My parents are the cutest couple ever. They just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. They must be doing something right. I'd love to know the secret. And that's pretty much just it. Nothing too exciting until they left the college. Everything changed.
• 10:00
  Wow, I just gotta take a second out and say, I'm sure that your mom listens to your podcasts and whatnot, Mr. and Mrs. Segal, 50 years, congratulations. Whoa, wait, muzzle top. Unbelievable. That's an accomplishment. I love to hear about love. As a matter of fact, I think I just, I put a post on this that my word for this year is love. I just, you know, it's from our mutual, other mutual friend, Danielle, her book was phenomenal. Just everything is better with love.
• 10:30
  So the other thing that we, that we've never talked about, what was your specific job on wall street? What were you doing? So at first I was a stockbroker.
• 10:42
  And it was fun until it wasn't very unpredictable, a lot of stress, a lot of things out of your control. And then that stopped becoming fun and I was really stressed out. And so I pivoted from being a stockbroker and I started my own company. Essentially, we're providing capital, high interest loans to business all across the country. And although that one was a lot less stressful, I was definitely not exactly making a major contribution to society.
• 11:06
  And that's when I really got into a dark place and I just felt really unhappy and really like I was underachieving. So to answer your question in a nutshell, first thing was stocks and the second was working capital, both in the finance sectors. So talking about a pivot, so you almost had to switch into something new when the pandemic hit. It just stopped. I mean, it's like everything happens for you, not to you. Thank God it happened because the world has Craig Siegel now.
• 11:36
  Well, thank you for saying that, brother. And look, that industry is back up and running. So it's not like I could have just waited out. But for me, I had been so unhappy for so long. I didn't love myself for a very long time, which is really deep. I don't think I ever publicly said that.
• 11:52
  And I was always searching for something more. I just didn't know what it was. I couldn't, I felt stuck. And I say felt because I don't like to say I was stuck because the truth is, is I could have made a tough choice to reevaluate. But then I found running or did running find me? Not sure. Tune into the book, The Remed Your Woman to find out. But anyway, I loved running because it gave me an opportunity to prove to myself
• 12:17
  that I wasn't a fraud, that I am ballsy, that I am courageous, that I can do something pretty epic, and that I started to gain my confidence back, and running was great for me. I think all that led to starting CLS in the pandemic. But ultimately, when that lockdown happened,
• 12:35
  I saw everybody doing the same thing, Netflix and Daydrink. And I just said, I don't know when I'm gonna ever have this choice again. As you can imagine, being in Manhattan, being a business owner, it's go, go, go. And so I made the most of that opportunity. And when I became available and I had that spiritual moment,
• 12:51
  ideas began to percolate pretty quickly. And then ultimately I took uncomfortable action and I ran with it and I never looked back. So I want to talk about, uh, I want to say that one more time, the name of the books, reinvention formulas. So congratulations on that. And of course, like you, like everything you do, you do it fast and you do it right. So I'm excited to read that. It'll be, um,
• 13:15
  It'll be a eye catcher, a turn, a real page turner. And I'm, I'm stoked, man. I'm happy for you. I love to see good things happen to good people. I like to see good things happen to everybody. Sometimes people don't make themselves available for it. So I should have asked this question when we were talking about love, but I'm going to, I want to really deep dive into love. Uh, and this is what we were talking about in our meeting earlier was describe love to me and what it means to you.
• 13:43
  Wow, now we're getting real deep. For me, how do I know that I love my fiancee? Is the support, the respect,
• 14:02
  the way she cares for me, the way that she has my back, if and when I need it. Obviously being physically attracted to someone is very important because sex, let's not make it taboo, it's a big part of life, but it's certainly not everything. It's the way our souls connect, it's the way we giggle and we laugh. And literally, like we miss each, this is really corny, so spoiler, and I never said this, like when we're,
• 14:28
  We're not together and we come back after a day. We missed each other. I hope that that never goes away. And I'll do everything in my power to date my fiance and to keep it fresh. And I love her. But I love other things too. Obviously, I love my family. I love CLS. I love the community that we're building, the family.
• 14:50
  I genuinely like it has a piece of my heart and my soul. So what does love mean to me? Something that I would do anything for and I absolutely care about. And I know people say I love you like very often. So it's hard to believe like when it's honest and not, especially on social media, you might just comment, I love you.
• 15:09
  these are things that are very important to me and things that I would never want to live without and that I respect and I'm behind. And for me, I think that's how I articulate love. How about you? First of all, I think that the reason why Alessia loves you is your fresh hair piece and you love her for her amazing dance moves. But I love,
• 15:37
  I love, no pun intended, how you just read my mind. My next question was, it was specifically about how you love yourself. And then the next question was, how did Alessia change that view? So for those of you who haven't seen this, Craig,
• 15:51
  literally was an open book and put his heart on his sleeve and showed the, had his parents and her parents in on the proposal. It is the sweetest thing I've ever seen. And honestly, I'm going to throw this out there again. I'm ordained. I want to marry you guys. I think it's the, you would die laughing. I put that, I said that on Sandy's podcast, uh,
• 16:16
  I've done it before. There's no higher honor. And I think that you guys exude love. I think you're following in good footsteps of your parents and her parents. And it would be no higher honor. No pressure. I am Jewish, so I can take care of it any which way you want. Just putting that out there. Wow. Yeah, right? Dude, you're not getting rid of me. We're married now. It's sequel, sequel. I would never want to. You're stuck with me for life. And both of us are just getting warmed up.
• 16:46
  Yeah, you know, it's funny. We do have to say how we met each other. There is no real relation. I think we're brothers from another mother. I can't wait to meet your mother. I'm sure she's one of those amazing Jewish ladies that just feed you food and laugh. And it reminds me of my grandmother who's...
• 17:07
  one of the best ladies I've ever, ever seen. And you couldn't just show up and, and say, hi, you had to sit down and have a meal and tell about life. And there were no one word answers, which is something I teach my daughter to this day. When you meet her, she has to, she'll carry a full conversation when she's 13 years old, carry a full conversation with you. Like, no, most adults won't do. So Ram Dass said, love everyone. And.
• 17:35
  tell the truth. I have that quote on my wall, uh, on the, in my bathroom. So I look at it every morning. And if you read any of these Buddhist monk or any Buddhist things, they talk about how you should love everything. Are you looking, you love the fact that we're on the internet right now. And you love that we have this microphone. You love that we go around in that we're able to connect, you know, three months ago, we didn't know each other. And, and,
• 18:02
  Every month I get to see you. I love that there's an airplane that's going to take me to see you. I love that I have a beautiful suite at Times Square. I love it. It's just about loving everything. When I wake up in the morning, I say gratitude for the things that I love. And it's simple things. So love to me is you nailed it. It's something you die for. Do I do it? I would die to live the way I live now.
• 18:30
  and loving yourself. And you know that because you have contrast. Contrast, I've been saying that a lot lately that
• 18:40
  You know, I don't drink. I don't have a good story other than I just quit. And people that say, oh, I don't have a problem drinking, they don't know the contrast. They don't know what life is like without drinking. And I don't think anybody that has a glass of wine here and there that's an issue. But, you know, I like to indulge in the naughty water. And I didn't know anything else. My parents taught me to drink. So that's what I thought was normal. And then when I contrasted, I went, oh, my goodness.
• 19:08
  There's a whole other life out here. So when you're dealt hard times, it makes you appreciate the good times. So contrast is very huge. And I would say we need to look through at the world through other people's eyes more often than not. Maybe the Republicans and the Democrats would learn something if they would just do that instead of being so narrow minded. There's a lot to learn. I don't fill my social media feed with.
• 19:38
  you know, people that just agree with me. I want to see what everybody knows about because you can learn from everybody. So I love life so much right now. And like you said, we've only just begun. I mean, I see us, Siegel and Siegel on stage doing something, giving back to the world. You know me, I'm not doing this for the money. I don't, I've made zero dollars. My company, National Technology Management provides a comfortable living. I'm doing this because this is what I'm called to do. This is what I'm meant to do. This is fun.
• 20:07
  But I love to be loved, man. I love to be loved. I didn't have love. My parents did not...
• 20:17
  It's cliche to say they don't love me. Did you hear me just catch myself right in the thing? It's cliche to say, my parents didn't love me. My parents loved me. They showed love the best way they knew how. It wasn't what I needed, it wasn't what I wanted, but they did their best and I've forgiven them for their shortcomings and it's time to move on because the things that they did give me gave me that
• 20:39
  ridiculous grit to succeed. And what did you call it? The consistency and obsession to succeed. Yeah, I combine those and I call it the maniacal drive, but I wasn't sure if I should use the word maniacal, but yes, the consistency and the obsession. I call it
• 20:56
  evil intention. And when I say evil, I mean good. It's the same thing, maniacal evil. You and I, like seriously separated at birth, but I love it. And we're gonna feed off each other for years to come. So what is your biggest fear? So my, great question. My biggest fear in 2020 was that at my hypothetical funeral,
• 21:26
  and people were gathering around, whoever was doing my eulogy, there wouldn't be much of an impact, contribution, or legacy that I left behind. And I had that realization right when I started CLS, like maybe right before, I said if this was it for me, it's a eulogy exercise. I didn't make it up, but it's very productive for anyone listening here today to make it real. What would people say about you after you were gone? If this was it for you. And for me, I was like, wow, that's...
• 21:55
  It hits raw because the truth of the matter is, is I didn't leave much of a legacy. Yeah, I had some good relationships, but I made a little bit of money, but the case may be. But I wanted to make a difference in the world. I genuinely want to make a massive impact on the grandest scale. I want to help people. I want all of your listeners to hear this conversation between me and you and then breathe different oxygen because you and I showed up as our true authentic selves and had unbelievable dialogue. That's what I want.
• 22:25
  So that was my biggest fear. Now, having said that, over the last two plus years, I can honestly say I've given this thing everything I got. Whereas if it was for me, I can actually live with that and hold my head up high with pride. Now, the truth of the matter is we're just getting warmed up.
• 22:44
  Right. We've only just begun. But my biggest fear a couple of years ago was also my biggest motivation. And I never put that together until just now. So thank you for creating that space. So many people think that like in regards to CLS, I was just so driven, like shy of a cannon. And I think this is going to hit home for a lot of people that know that they're here for more than they're currently doing.
• 23:05
  Sometimes it's not so much about what you want to do Maybe it's enough that you just don't want to go back And you don't want to just exist anymore You want to be alive, whatever that looks like for you And so that was it for me And so now that I'm on that path I really don't fear anything I mean, even when I got hit by a car When I looked to the right and I saw the thing about to hit me I knew I wasn't getting out of it For some reason, I wasn't scared
• 23:31
  It was more just like strategy, like how do we minimize this? So I'm not really sure. I don't have an answer to be right now what my biggest fear is because I think I solved it when I finally found my calling and fulfilled my assignment. So I don't really fear much right now if I'm being honest. Literally, I had to take notes on that answer because it would – I just got to tell you, you're amazing. Yeah.
• 23:57
  I love you, man. So many things are hit home. I've got to deviate again from my questions. I hate it. It bothers me that we only say nice things about people when they're funeral. Why can't we say it every day?
• 24:11
  So I used to say to people, and I'd tell everybody when I was a partier and life of the party and a drinker, I used to say, hey, don't eulogize me. I want everybody to come up and say, remember the stupid shit that Kelly said or did? Because I've done some crazy things in my day. And now what you just said is exactly what I want to leave a legacy.
• 24:34
  where people say, wow, Siegel lives on, or Kelly Siegel lives on, sorry, I forget, we're both the same name, but it's Kelly Siegel lives on and that he did this and that. And, you know, I don't wanna go back. That's funny, you just hit my soul. Like, I don't have any fears either, but I am scared to death to go back. And it's why it's not even an option for me.
• 25:00
  And I'll give you one, and I don't know if I've ever said this, but you brought it out of me. I grew up my whole life in fear. Fear of death from my parents. I feared that they would kill me because they were drinkers and drunks. And that's why I'm such a big dude now. Ain't nobody going to hurt me.
• 25:23
  Nobody. So those are things that drive me, that create my consistency and my obsession to wins, to never want to go back and be the alcoholic drinker, party animal that I was. The fact that I want my funeral to be what I accomplished and not what stupid shit I did. So that was really deep. Much more, and right on that,
• 25:50
  Go ahead. I was just saying, when you love yourself, like you do now, like I do now, right? Because we're actually our real selves and we're connected to source.
• 26:00
  It's something that scares you either, I imagine. Obviously, you want your family to be protected and safe, of course, but nothing can really happen that will cripple you anymore because you're living so true, authentically, connected, divine, and you love yourself and you don't fear anything because right now, today, as you and I are speaking, you are putting your best foot forward to make a contribution and make an impact, and that's something we can both live with.
• 26:29
  Well, I've been through hell and back again, so I'm very confident in my ability to maneuver through troubled waters. And that's why it makes me nervous about today's culture where we're trying to shield everybody from tough times, man. It's just – it builds character. Smooth seas never made a sailor. You learn through tough times. Tough times make tough people. Yeah, you need those storms.
• 27:00
  I don't have any fear whatsoever. But having said that, we talked about going backwards, and that's fear. What's your biggest regret? I really don't have any. This is crazy because you asked me all these awesome, deep, thought-provoking questions, and I have these weird answers for you. But the truth of the matter is I believe everything happens for us, not to us. I believe it happens when it's supposed to.
• 27:25
  or we have to do our best to be available for them. And I don't regret anything. The easy answer for me would be starting CLS 10 years ago because look where we'd be now. But I wasn't ready, Kelly. I wasn't available, brother. I needed to go through those dark seasons of toxic relationships, all the stuff, the negativity, the fear, the guilt, all that stuff, the shame, whatever the case may be, to get to where I'm at now.
• 27:53
  And that's probably one of the reasons why you mentioned a rocket ship. I know people think it's a meteoric rise. Obviously, they don't see the work I'm putting in. You do. But one of the reasons why it's happened so quickly is it's not an overnight success. This has been 15 years in the making, journaling, sharpening, going through some stuff. So it all had to happen the way that it did for us to make the impact that we've made now in a relatively what the world would consider a short amount of time.
• 28:18
  So I don't regret anything. Now, if I had lost someone really close to me, maybe I might give you an answer. Like, I wish I spent more time with that person.
• 28:28
  My family's alive. I'm happily engaged. I don't regret anything, brother. I'm just so blessed right now. I'm so grateful. I'm so excited. I've never been more both alive and aligned. And I don't regret anything because I know that everything that I've been through has shaped me and created this version of me, which is now the guy that's able to make the impact that he's making.
• 28:55
  Yeah, a lot of people don't realize that the universe is conspiring to make you happy. And a lot of times they ignore the true red flags or the alignment that the universe is trying to give you. And I love it when you talk about source because you don't talk about it much. There's some bigger energy at work on us somewhere, somehow. I don't care if it's...
• 29:15
  if it's God, if it's Moses, or whatever you call it. No doubt. I'm gonna deviate because we talked about that. All of the other people in personal development, many of them talk about faith. And when they talk about faith, they talk about religion. You know, most of them are Christian. I don't know of very many Jewish guys like us that are doing this. And you don't hear us talking about, not that's a bad thing, that's a good thing, but talk to me about the difference, your difference between faith and religion.
• 29:45
  I think that religion, similar to politics, is a little divisive. Organized religion. Right? Like if you can't... If you believe in one thing, then it's almost like you're against the person who believes in something else. And that's not where I'm at. I personally...
• 30:04
  believe in God, and I've quadrupled down on my relationship with Him, specifically over the last few years, probably not a coincidence to the blessings that I have in my life, and I communicate with Him directly. And I never said that out loud. That sounds a little weird, but I do. And that's what's most important to me. Now, whether you're Jewish, Buddhist, Catholic, it doesn't matter to me. My thing is God. I also like the universe, the quantum, all that stuff. I believe they're intertwined to an extent. But for me, having faith...
• 30:34
  is having a belief in something a little bit bigger than just this five foot seven and a half sexy vessel that you're speaking to, right? Something bigger that can protect me from getting hit by a speeding car.
• 30:46
  Something that can get you out of the road that you were going down to where you're at today. And I think if you can tap into that, you'll never be crippled. You'll never be totally out of the fight if you're just maintaining faith. Now, some people might call it hope, whatever the case may be. But just to believe in something much bigger than us that we can always reach out to, I would suggest doing it every single day, specifically when times are great, not only when times are troubling. Right?
• 31:15
  When it comes to religion, I just think that depending upon what you practice, it's a little bit more divisive. So for me, I believe in God, and that's my thing. Not only are you a beautiful vessel, you're a beautiful mind. And you've only just tapped the source, man. You're well in your stride, but man, you've got big things coming your way. And I'm not just saying that because I love you, but it just—
• 31:40
  There's untapped potential, and I'm going to challenge you for as long as I know you to keep pushing harder. This is going to be a funny question, and I think I know the answer, but I've got to ask it. What gets you down? Negativity.
• 31:57
  bad vibes. I'm so selective now with my energy. Someone called me a week ago, someone that I grew up with that I would probably consider best friends with. And I just stopped talking to him a couple of years back when I started CLS because for some reason, whenever I'd be around this particular cat, I found myself in a lowered frequency and I didn't like the way I felt.
• 32:20
  So he just called me. I don't even know what he wants, but I didn't take the call. I imagine if it was super important, he would have left a voicemail or shot me a text. I'm just not available for that. What gets me down is anything negative. And I'm a little bit delusionally optimistic. I live in this bubble of serenity, the CLS bubble. And it's funny, sometimes my brother will ask me something that's going on in the world. And I think, to be honest with you, I don't even know that. He's like, what the hell's wrong with you?
• 32:45
  I'm like, I am in a bubble of serenity inside the CLS thing, and that's my choice. I'm delusionally optimistic. I'm all in. I don't even know some of the things that are going on. Oftentimes, I would say 9 out of 10. You turn on the news, it's usually negative. So I just try to ground myself and stay in this state, this frequency, be a vibrational match of abundance and so forth. What brings me down is anyone or anything that's negative.
• 33:14
  I'm just not available for it. And I know it's difficult because it means severing relationships and so forth. That's okay with me. I don't believe anyone has a whole past unless they're your direct family. Your daughter ain't getting rid of you. Not that you would ever want to. But people are in your life for a season and a reason. And I finally accepted that.
• 33:37
  about a year or two ago, and not only have I accepted it, but I've embraced it and I've doubled down on it. And so if you're not on my frequency, that's okay. I'm not right, you're not wrong. We're just growing apart. And so to circle back and land the plane with, what gets me down is anybody that's not positive. And that's that. How many times
• 34:00
  Walk me through, because that happens all the time, and we can't just take your ball, prefer your ball, and run and go home. How, what do you do, walk me through, let's just say I call you and I'm, Craig.
• 34:12
  This, and I'm all victim and negative and an energy vampire on you. How many times, walk me through what, how does Craig respond? Cause you don't just, oh, I'm not available, I walk away. Because all too often, I just had this conversation with my daughter about it. She said, how am I, how do I know? So if someone is sucking the life out of you, do you have a conversation with them?
• 34:38
  And at what point do you realize that it's worth trying to continue or do you cut base? Now, I say this having said – I don't talk to my mother. It's been 25 years maybe and I've forgiven her. But it's also –
• 34:55
  I'm at peace with the next time I see her is we'll be at her funeral. And that may be controversial. I've been through lots and lots of therapy and I'm good with that. I've made peace with it. She got me here. I just, she, she, they're the type of people, my mother, my stepfather, that every single time you're around them, they're energy vampires and they suck the life out of you. And just because they're my family, my parents, my mother, my stepfather,
• 35:21
  I don't need them around me. I've tried. I've had many conversations. This is what I'm comfortable with. This is what I'm not comfortable with. And then I've reached a point where it's like, okay, I'm done. And I just don't reach out to them. And they didn't reach out to me, which they're missing out on a beautiful young lady, my daughter. And it's this travesty. But even if they did reach out, I'm done. So talk to me about...
• 35:45
  your process when negativity comes to your knocking on the door. I don't face reality. I create reality. And what I mean by that is like, if I'm on a coaching call with one of my clients or in the community or a friend that's in my life and they're having a bad day, I'm not going to be like, all right, you know, goodbye. Let me know when you're positive because that's not right. You know, we all have our moments. I lean on people too. Um, but if there's someone that has a.
• 36:13
  a reputation in my mind of somehow being able to lower my state often more than I would like, then I have to make some difficult decisions if I want to maintain relations with that cat. And I'm just very selective, right?
• 36:30
  is having an off day or an off moment, then that's okay. That's part of life, right? But I don't want to be around someone that's a complete downer either, even if they are close to me. It's just soul-sucking and it's draining, right? Even worse than being physically tired after a marathon is being emotionally drained. Now, there are certain situations where you have to make –
• 36:54
  sacrifices right like I speak to my dad almost every day he's my best friend in the world he's battling cancer sometimes he's not positive but he calls me for me to elevate him and I love that job and that's my responsibility and I own that and I hope I can do it forever right I know that's not the case
• 37:19
  Because no one lives forever. At least in this physical experience. But that's different. That's my choice. Love my dad so much. And that's just what it is. But if it's a friend. Or someone that like. When I speak to them Kelly. Like I just don't.
• 37:35
  just the very senior caller ID on my phone, like makes me feel some type of way, then I have to ask myself, is it me? Did I make some sort of perception about this person? Or have I given this person a lot of attempts and when I speak to them, I just feel drained after? And if I'm honest with myself, that's the case, then I'm separating myself from them. So I don't think there's a formula. I think it's a case by case for that.
• 38:03
  I love how you started that. What did you say? Face reality? You create reality. That's beautiful. I send a lot of people that suck the line. I put them in the end of my meditation. I send them positive vibes daily. It's amazing how really hitting adversity with love and positivity, how it changes your outlook on it. And you just...
• 38:32
  You have a lot more compassion for him. Having said that, I heard that your dad has cancer, and I'm going to add him to my positivity meditation. And I hope he – cancer sucks, man. I hate cancer, and sorry to hear that. I will add him into my – what's your dad's first name? Donald. Love it.
• 38:57
  I will add him to my positivity vibrations. I send him out every morning. He'll feel it. Thank you, brother. What makes you get out of bed in the morning, my friend? This. At 4.30 in the morning, by the way.
• 39:11
  This right here, what we're doing right now, this isn't work to me. I love this stuff. People ask me all the time, what the hell are you on? I get it. It's crazy. But I also spent a very good portion of my life, maybe 35 years to be exact, of trying to find what that is. My calling, feeling alive, feeling aligned. Or as you would say, being alive for the party without having to have a cocktail. I love this stuff, Kelly.
• 39:40
  I can't imagine, I'm not saying it's impossible, but I can't imagine getting burned out by doing something that you love.
• 39:47
  I genuinely love this, whether it's a podcast, a membership call, a speaking engagement, a partnership call, writing a book, connecting, all this stuff. I just love helping people. I love talking about personal development. I love building a life with my fiance. I love joking around with her. I love working out in the mornings. I love life. And I'm really passionate about life now.
• 40:15
  because of a word that we used a little bit earlier, and that's contrast. And because I remember what it feels like to be essentially suffering mentally.
• 40:26
  And now that I was able to find something that fills my cup but also makes a difference, I just feel extremely grateful. And I would never want to disrespect Source by not giving this thing called life everything that I got. So that's why I'm shot of a cannon every single day. Love it.
• 40:51
  I'm going to ask this again, but you kind of answered earlier. If you were offered a mulligan in life, what would you do over? We kind of talked a little bit about regret, but is there one thing that you would do over? My uncle said to me, don't you wish you would have quit drinking earlier? I'm like, no, everything happened the way it was supposed to. Is there anything that you would do over? No.
• 41:13
  No. And you know what? No is a complete sentence. And I know you're looking for something juicy and I get that. And I imagine most people would have a different answer. I just know that everything that I've been through, the dark seasons, all the stuff has brought me to this where I can understand and be able to resonate with people. And also like...
• 41:38
  I never settled and I found Alessia when I was in my mid to late 30s. So I just everything is happening for me right now. Exactly as it should. I couldn't be happier.
• 41:53
  I'm so excited for what's to come. But because I'm so happy and so fulfilled now, I couldn't imagine changing anything that would have changed course. So I'm grateful and I love all the stuff that's been on my journey, even the not so pretty stuff. I wouldn't. I didn't expect another answer. I everything has shaped you into who you are. If you go back and change one thing. I had to feel the same.
• 42:20
  I absolutely I would you know you know I went to jail for selling drugs in college so I you know it's easy to go back go I wouldn't want to know you know what I learned I met some amazing people in there I knew there's some good lessons and know that I never want to go back now I've had it expunged so if anybody looks me up it's gone it's I have a clean record but I wouldn't take it back man I I'll tell you what I got thrown out of my fraternity thrown out of college um
• 42:49
  My family turned, everybody turned their back on me. And what do I do? Sat there and said, I'll take it all. Because I did it. I had a newsflash. I took accountability for it. Hey, I was selling drugs. I did. I didn't, I got caught up. It's silly, stupid, but no, I wouldn't take anything back. That experience, I was facing 60 years. I ended up doing, I got sentenced to a year. I was facing 60. That's stress.
• 43:18
  Um, so, uh, no, I wouldn't do anything over. All right. We were, we're nearing the end and I got a couple of questions that just absolutely have to ask you that are just fantastic ones that I want to know the answer. Harder than life, baby. Love it. Love it. Yeah, that's right. True. That's why it's all named harder life. Tell us something that you believe that almost nobody agrees with you on. Wow. Wow. We're all individually here for a specific reason.
• 43:46
  And the purpose of life is to find out and identify what that is and then step into that. And I mean everybody is here for a specific reason. I think most people probably don't identify it. And then you find the people that are extraordinary, right? Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, Kelly Siegel. Craig Siegel. They make it look so effortlessly.
• 44:09
  And I think that we're all here for a reason. And I think we should never, ever stop trying to find what that is, even if it takes us to a nine years old and, and keep searching for what really our, our assignment is and then raise our hand and take that call to action. I love it. I love it. If you could have dinner with one person alive or dead, who would it be and why? Besides you? We were going to, we're having dinner. Okay. We'll be there. Um,
• 44:41
  Arnold Schwarzenegger. Why? You didn't see that coming. No. Yeah, why? Yeah, why? I know he's probably a controversial cat and I don't agree with everything he's done, but he was a big inspiration for me when I was growing up. First of all, I used to love the working out, the bodybuilding stuff. I was never a bodybuilder, but I just loved the guy's vision.
• 45:08
  He came from Austria. He had a huge chess plan, 10 moves ahead. He wanted to become the most well-known bodybuilder so he can then leverage that, become the highest paid actor, and then go into politics and real estate and all that stuff, step by step by step. And he was the best in everything that he did. And also, I just gravitated towards him. I liked him. He didn't have it easy, but he made no excuses.
• 45:36
  And when I was growing up in the 80s, well, I guess 90s, but Arnold was the guy, you know, he was the guy in all the movies and stuff. And he's still going. And that's the person. Remember, he couldn't speak very well either. He couldn't speak very well either. So he overcame a lot. They told him that he would never get movie roles because of his accent. And then he got the movie roles because of his accent. Talk about a paradigm shift.
• 46:04
  Well, he, I read an article in Muscle and Fitness, or one of these magazines years ago, where whatever he didn't like about his body, he would show, like, if he didn't like his calves, he would make sure that he would cut his shorts short enough so that his calves would show, or his legs, or whatever he would do, he would just lean into it. So, but I would imagine one of the questions I'd have to ask him was, how do you end up hooking up with the housekeeper, man? Come on!
• 46:31
  Dude, you're smart. You know, we're men. We're going to slip up. It happens. I get it. All right, we're getting close to the end. I don't agree with everything he does, but that's the first thing that came to mind, just being honest. But we're humans, and we're flawed. So I love that we can laugh about it. Hopefully he would laugh about it. I mean, it's probably caused a lot of headache in his life. But, hey, if he's like who we think he is, he would own it fully like winners do.
• 46:59
  If you could create one law, what would it be and why? It's a great question, Scott. You know, a couple of things come to mind. Teach personal development in school. And when I say school, I don't mean college. I mean like elementary school. Like start shaping mindsets when we were a kid. How cool would that be? Right? Imaginary border. Yeah.
• 47:22
  in elementary school learning about mindset. She's got me, dude. She hears your podcast. She hears the CLS experience. I say to her, I apologize to her every day. I'm so sorry. I'm your dad. It's like the bar is high. We left Florida and she's like, dad, why are you so mad at me? I said, honey, the bar is high. I'm creating a savage. She's going to be a trained killer.
• 47:46
  You know what? I want to stand behind that one because if we did that at an early age, I imagine a lot of the sadness and tragedies that happen later on may be prevented if we learned personal development at an earlier age and it was mandatory. It was by law. So I've never been asked that and I never really give it too much time to think about. But that's the first thing that comes to mind.
• 48:12
  That's really good. I like that. And because I'll say this and we, it's not, I know what I mean is happiness is an inside out job. And nowadays these children are, everything is how many likes, how many comments, who says what about me. And I literally spend my entire existence. If I walked my daughter who had just got home from school, she would tell you, man, dad is hard on her. And I explained to her that it doesn't matter what these people think. Um, you gotta be you and you gotta love yourself. So. I'm just that.
• 48:42
  We're nearing the end. What's the worst piece of advice anybody ever gave you? Be realistic. Expound for the average joke. I know what you mean. Why would you ever want to be realistic? Do you think Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Jeff Bezos, Kelly Siegel was realistic? No, you got to be a bit delusional. Who defines realistic? Society.
• 49:11
  Ooh, I almost just swore on my own podcast. Dude, that's limitations on ourselves. Realistic is being pessimistic. And sorry to cut you off, but I think you were just about to say limitations. When I think of being realistic, I think of putting a ceiling on what's possible.
• 49:29
  that you saw, people that could see their things, that's what I did too. You can't fall off the floor. So why not let's just keep ascending and going high? So then that's what, it's a race to mediocrity in this microwave mindset of these children nowadays. And when I say they can't fall off the floor, you can't fall any lower than some of these things they're doing and people are just giving up. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no. Craig Siegel, Kelly Siegel are here to inspire, motivate and educate on how to live a better life. We,
• 50:00
  you know, four years ago, neither, neither one of us were living the best. Like now we are, if we can do it, anybody can do it. So I want to end it with, and, and it's going to be reiterated what you said over and over and over again, but I want to end it with this because it just does you a justice. What Craig Siegel do you want your legacy to be?
• 50:19
  I want when anybody runs anything back, whether it be a piece of content, a quote, a conversation I had with them, a podcast, a speaking engagement, anything, an interaction, an interaction,
• 50:32
  that they immediately feel elevated and feel some type of hope or faith or belief that they could be a little bit better, that they could make a difference, they could do something special. That's what my assignment is, is to showcase that. And long after I'm gone, I want somebody to be able to listen to this podcast and say, you know what? I felt stuck. I heard those two nutjobs speaking, and now I want to...
• 50:58
  get inside the arena. I wanna try something out. I wanna take uncomfortable action. If they can do it, I can do it. I want people to breathe different oxygen because I showed up, specifically you and me in this conversation. That's what I want. I love it, I love it.
• 51:14
  Tony Robbins and Ed Milet always say that the person on your deathbed, if you're aligned with the person you wanted to be and the person who you are, it's the least amount of regret. And that's literally what I want to be. And that's who I am nowadays. And I imagine that's how you're feeling. You're complete alignment. There's zero skeletons in my closet. You're not going to see me surfing porn. You're not going to catch me freaking drunk. You're not going to catch you sneaking freaking cannabis. As you see,
• 51:40
  I consistency is literally excellence. I aim for permit perfection. I end on excellence and life gets good. Craig, I love you. I want to be respectful of your time. You have a hard stop. I look forward to meeting you next month. I love you. You're
• 51:58
  Keep doing what you're doing. I'm so excited. One more thing, too. I know the whole world knows who you are, but you got your book out. Run through the socials. Say the book, and it'll be in the show notes because there will be people that know me that don't know you, and the world just has to have more Segal in it.
• 52:18
  The Reinvention Formula, coming to a bookstore near you, probably spring or summer 2023. You can find me on social media, at Craig Siegel underscore CLS. Anywhere you listen to podcasts, the CLS experience. If you like daily inspirational nuggets, you can join our free texting community. Text 917-634-3796.
• 52:40
  Text me the word Kelly Siegels so I know it came from this conversation. Bottom line, come say hello. I love to interact. I love to connect. I love to spread positivity. I love to elevate. And I love to learn about you guys. So please come say hello. And if you want to join the community or anything like that, if you're looking for ways on how you could potentially get in our world, CultivateLastingSymphony.com. You dig?
• 53:09
  Thank you for listening. Please rate and subscribe to Harder Than Life, and let's take this to the next level. Get connected at the links below.