Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP54] Should You Change Your Mind?

Transcript

[EP54] Should You Change Your Mind? · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

• 0:00
  If the pattern that you know of, which has been running the show for a long time, is one of, I can't make decisions, I'm always swayed by everyone else, and when I do make a decision, I always change my mind, so therefore I'm received as, I don't know, unreliable or indecisive or flaky or whatever the thing is.
• 0:30
  result of it. The other side of it, you know, a different version of that would be
• 0:36
  I'm completely decisive and I'm so decisive that
• 0:41
  once I decide I would never change my mind and
• 0:45
  you know, it's almost like the, it's like the my way or highway type
• 0:52
  variation, right? Like the difference to the first version,
• 0:55
  let's say. And I'm sure there's other variations.
• 1:00
  So it depends on, you know, what is running the show, as in your life, which pattern.
• 1:07
  If your work is, okay, I need to learn to make decisions and stick with them because that's what I struggle to do.
• 1:17
  That might be the thing that, you know, might need to be worked on.
• 1:21
  you know or my if my version is like everything's kind of ones and zeros black and white you know
• 1:29
  everything is yes and no and nothing in between i've made a decision and you know i always make
• 1:37
  a decision and i make it quickly and i'm super decisive and once i've made it that's it like
• 1:41
  there's no changing it for example as in like i'm rigid with my ways you know one is like
• 1:50
  completely, let's say, floaty and dependent on others.
• 1:54
  The other one is like, this is it, and there's no change again.
• 1:59
  And I'm sure, you know, like there's variations in between.
• 2:02
  So whatever the thing is that we're working on,
• 2:04
  generally I find that life presents opportunities, in quotes,
• 2:10
  for us to learn the thing that, you know, we are learning.
• 2:13
  so if it's decisiveness then I will normally get opportunities to learn to be decisive
• 2:22
  I'm too decisive so to speak and I need to learn to loosen up a little bit
• 2:30
  like I'm too rigid then I will get opportunities to learn that and not just learn it but
• 2:38
  obviously put it to practice that's where i think you know either
• 2:44
  when we're working you know together i get to like guides you know guys through it
• 2:49
  and or you know either at the beginning or eventually just you
• 2:53
  you know bring enough awareness to it and you have enough awareness
• 2:56
  that you can see that and you can start to realize like okay that's my pattern there it is again
• 3:01
  and here's the thing i'm learning and here's what i need to practice you know here's i need to
• 3:06
  practice decisiveness and then it's um you know i think i talked about it in inspire the other day
• 3:13
  it's like too little too much too little too much too little too much too little like you know so we
• 3:19
  go from extreme to like we start to learn how to calibrate like okay that's about a good kind of
• 3:25
  medium and you know i can actually go the range if i need but this is generally like a good you
• 3:32
  know amount to be um and that can take some time off like going like you know that experience like
• 3:38
  going too much basically on either end and then adjusting adjusting adjusting adjusting and
• 3:42
  you know that's the learning that's the growth the evolution so we become more calibrated with
• 3:47
  like okay what is too much what is too little you know and where what's my stand on this and where
• 3:52
  do i stand with it and how much flexibility is there once i've you know taken a decision and
• 3:58
  all that sort of stuff.
• 4:00
  Sometimes we're very, you know,
• 4:01
  so we're learning to make a decision.
• 4:03
  We're very good at making a decision.
• 4:04
  So then like we're so good at making a decision
• 4:05
  that once a decision is made,
• 4:07
  nothing can change.
• 4:09
  That's it.
• 4:10
  That's it.
• 4:10
  It has to be fixed and it's rigid.
• 4:13
  So like, okay,
• 4:14
  so now suddenly you're learning the opposite,
• 4:16
  you know,
• 4:18
  and therefore you keep calibrating
• 4:20
  until you find like,
• 4:22
  okay, I'm getting better.
• 4:24
  I'm getting more skilled at making these decisions
• 4:28
  more flexible once I've made a decision for example then you will start to get
• 4:35
  well different results because people obviously will respond differently because
• 4:39
  you are deciding and responding differently over time I don't know what
• 4:44
  genuine goodness means because what is the opposite like in genuine badness you
• 4:50
  know so if you're learning to make decisions you start to make decisions
• 4:54
  and then you commit I think the other side of it is like you know learning
• 4:58
  to not be too rigid.
• 5:01
  I know I can be too rigid
• 5:04
  and it doesn't work.
• 5:10
  Or like I don't like it
• 5:12
  when I've been too rigid
• 5:14
  and I'm like that's not what I wanted.
• 5:16
  That's not the result.
• 5:17
  Yeah, I think I understand what you're saying.
• 5:19
  So that's what I would say.
• 5:21
  Like you know, once I commit,
• 5:22
  so whether it's right or wrong.
• 5:23
  Sometimes it's not that simple, right?
• 5:25
  Like life's not always just this
• 5:26
  like right or wrong thing.
• 5:28
  And sometimes there's a lot between right and wrong.
• 5:32
  Sometimes what is right feels wrong, but it's actually right.
• 5:36
  Sometimes what is wrong feels very right.
• 5:40
  And who it feels right for, and when, and how.
• 5:43
  And it can feel right now, but then later it feels wrong.
• 5:46
  So that's also, there's a level of rigidity there when things are...
• 5:51
  It's again like the mind trying to put things in boxes and make it...
• 5:54
  Like compartmentalize it and box things up and make it black and white.
• 5:58
  like oh I've made decision tick done okay I've stuck with decision tick done okay I'm following
• 6:05
  through on that it's like yes and you're human too and you can adjust and you can change your
• 6:11
  mind if you need to so I keep contradicting myself because it's not like a one fixed answer
• 6:16
  because even when you learn to you know like you find yourself being really rigid and then you learn
• 6:21
  to be more flexible and then you might go the other end like again like you're now too flexible
• 6:25
  so you start to get the results of that and you're like okay that was too much so let me bring it
• 6:30
  back a little bit let me you know reel it in a bit and learn like okay this is a good you know
• 6:37
  kind of median like this range here that i can work with and then sometimes like with certain
• 6:43
  people you know like they're just the way they are maybe they need that rigidity because if
• 6:51
  there's any amount of flexibility like they would just you know there is no boundaries and or they
• 6:58
  have no sense of other like boundaries and when people set certain boundaries or say yes or no
• 7:04
  there is no such thing as no so they will just kind of they're not even trying to bulldoze it
• 7:08
  it's just that the way they operate is that it's just like a lack of borders and boundaries so
• 7:14
  they will just like it's all just like floating and meandering so then you kind of have to set
• 7:19
  certain you know with certain people like no this is the time or this is the location or this is the
• 7:26
  thing that we are you know i'm choosing or i'm doing or whatever the thing is the decision is
• 7:30
  yeah so it has i would say to be calibrated with the situation the person of people
• 7:40
  your own kind of where you're at in your journey and what you're learning
• 7:44
  you know if you're learning to make decisions or if you're learning to be more flexible because
• 7:50
  I think these are all factors that would come into it and have a play in the end kind of decision and result.
• 8:01
  And even that, it's like sometimes that's just how the mind works.
• 8:05
  You make a decision and the mind goes, oh, maybe I should have just done the other one,
• 8:11
  chose the other decision, the other choice.
• 8:14
  so you know again
• 8:16
  what do you know of
• 8:18
  your patterns like your mind
• 8:21
  like does it always do that
• 8:22
  does it always like every time you make a decision it goes
• 8:24
  oh my god shit what did I do
• 8:25
  I need to change my mind or maybe not
• 8:29
  yeah
• 8:30
  so that's something you'll have to weigh up
• 8:33
  whether it's worth
• 8:34
  messing people around and what's
• 8:36
  the repercussion of that or result of that
• 8:39
  wonder how much of this might
• 8:40
  pride if you're asking
• 8:45
  pride probably plays a part in it so maybe it needs to be looked at
• 8:49
  like some awareness brought to it i hope that helps