Latest / The Starfish Storytellers / Episode 2: Stories of Courage and Authenticity: LGBTQ+ Pride 2023 with Leslie Baker

Transcript

Episode 2: Stories of Courage and Authenticity: LGBTQ+ Pride 2023 with Leslie Baker · The Starfish Storytellers

• 0:00
  Welcome to the Starfish Storytellers, the podcast that makes a difference one story
• 0:04
  at a time by bringing storytelling to life.
• 0:12
  I think one of the stories that I wanted to share in terms of, I came out at a very early
• 0:19
  age and at the time where it wasn't as socially accepted as it is now, although it seems like
• 0:27
  to be edging back that way.
• 0:30
  And I think that during those times of trying to find out who I was and what I was and knowing
• 0:42
  that in school, you know, in middle school even, knowing that I was more interested in
• 0:50
  the school sports and playing sports than I was, you know, in terms of some of the childhood
• 0:57
  girls that were looking at, you know, how to impress the boys and talking about, you
• 1:03
  know, just growing pains, right, in terms of what they were experiencing.
• 1:11
  And, you know, I just, I didn't feel like I fit in and I knew at that age that, you
• 1:17
  know, I needed to figure out and find my own way.
• 1:21
  I'm very thankful that nowadays that there's a lot of resources out there for kids and
• 1:26
  children that are coming to terms with their lifestyle.
• 1:29
  And there's a lot of great organizations we've been recently reviewing.
• 1:34
  The number of organizations that there are to support transgender and gay, lesbian, all
• 1:42
  of the different organizations and they're all good.
• 1:47
  It's hard to choose just one because there are so many and there's a lot of resources
• 1:51
  and I'm thankful for that.
• 1:54
  But coming to term at a very young age, knowing that there wasn't a lot of resources, I didn't
• 1:58
  have a lot of people or mentors to go to at that age, but I strive to be a mentor for
• 2:06
  children that are dealing with that and as well as, you know, encouraging people to be
• 2:12
  who they want to be.
• 2:14
  And certainly, you know, in my involvement, trying to make sure that there are opportunities
• 2:21
  for children and people to find the resources that they may need.
• 2:27
  And I dealt with it in terms of the fact that by dealing with it and being strong, I realized
• 2:36
  that I needed to be very independent.
• 2:40
  And it was a way that I dealt with it and knowing that if people didn't accept me for
• 2:45
  who I was, it was their issue, not mine.
• 2:49
  And I didn't choose to internalize it, but I choose to take on the challenges and the
• 2:55
  fights and work through the issues and the legislation and support wherever I could in
• 3:01
  terms of making sure that, you know, if people look at me, they know pretty well, you know,
• 3:07
  who I am because I don't choose to hide who I am.
• 3:12
  And I just encourage people to be strong and it's not always easy.
• 3:18
  And especially now where it can be difficult and people struggle with the pronouns and
• 3:25
  using the right pronouns and just being, you know, empathetic to understanding and knowing
• 3:33
  why pronouns are important and the fact that there are many different reasons why people
• 3:40
  emphasize us on the pronouns.
• 3:42
  Sometimes people don't do the right things all the time.
• 3:46
  And sometimes we have to, you know, forgive in that nature, but there are sometimes where
• 3:50
  we need to choose our battles and know in terms of when things, we just can't turn a
• 3:57
  blind eye.
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  There are people that need help and need support.
• 4:01
  So I think we need to be open and, you know, be willing to help those that need to be helped.
• 4:10
  Hello, my name is Liana Henry and welcome to the Starfish Storytellers.
• 4:30
  I'm the CEO of the Black Dog Group, a MarCom and project management firm headquartered
• 4:35
  on the East Coast of the U.S. in quaint colonial Bedford, Massachusetts.
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  I'm your host and passionate about storytelling.
• 4:42
  I'm actually on a mission to raise up the next generation of storytellers.
• 4:47
  We named ourselves the Starfish Storytellers after the Starfish Story.
• 4:51
  The moral of the Starfish Story is based on the power of one.
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  No matter how big the challenge, each action we take makes a difference and has an impact.
• 5:00
  One step, one starfish, one story at a time.
• 5:05
  Every episode, we welcome a new storyteller who will share their story meant to inspire
• 5:09
  and connect with you.
• 5:11
  Then we'll break it down, offer some tips for any listeners who are ready to tell their
• 5:15
  own stories.
• 5:17
  So thanks for tuning in.
• 5:18
  Now let's get started.
• 5:21
  Today's episode is about stories of courage and authenticity, and I'm excited to welcome
• 5:25
  our guest and my friend Leslie Baker.
• 5:28
  During Pride Month, we especially focus on these themes as we are members of Allies2
• 5:34
  and supporters of the LGBTQ plus community.
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  Leslie leads an employee resource group that welcomes and supports members of the LGBTQ
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  plus community as they seek to get more involved in volunteering, navigating the workplace
• 5:48
  and providing education and advocacy.
• 5:51
  Welcome to the podcast, Leslie.
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  We're happy to have you.
• 5:54
  Happy to be here.
• 5:55
  Thanks for inviting me.
• 5:57
  So I'm going to start with a little bit of history, pride and LGBTQ plus history, and
• 6:04
  feel free to jump in and add anything as I go along.
• 6:08
  So for listeners who aren't up to speed on the history, LGBTQ plus history dates back
• 6:13
  to ancient civilization.
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  It's typically written out as LGBTQIA plus, and it's an abbreviation for a lesbian, gay,
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  bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, asexual and more.
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  What has survived after many centuries of persecution has been interwoven into mainstream
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  society.
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  In 1969, the Stonewall riots was the famous event that catalyzed the gay rights movement
• 6:42
  in America.
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  It was in New York City and the police had raided the Stonewall Inn yet one more time.
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  The Stonewall Inn was a clandestine gay club in Greenwich Village that was large, inexpensive,
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  allowed dancing and welcomed drag queens and homeless youth.
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  Fed up with the years of police harassment, patrons and neighborhood residents began throwing
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  objects as the police as they were loading them into vans.
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  The scene eventually exploded into a full blown riot with subsequent protests that lasted
• 7:12
  for five more days.
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  The Christopher Street Liberation Day on June 28th, 1970 marked the first anniversary of
• 7:20
  the Stonewall riots with the march, which was the first gay pride march in US history
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  and it covered 51 blocks to Central Park.
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  In 1994, the annual observance of LGBTQ plus history month began in the US and has extended
• 7:35
  into other countries.
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  This observance involves highlighting the history of the people, LGBTQ plus rights and
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  related civil rights movements, including National Coming Out Day on October 11th.
• 7:47
  The availability of legally recognized same sex marriage in the United States expanded
• 7:51
  from one state, Massachusetts in 2004 to all 50 states in 2015 through various court rulings,
• 7:59
  state legislation and direct popular votes.
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  However, LGBTQ plus people still struggle to have their rights recognized and they face
• 8:07
  threats of violence around the globe.
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  So as you know, Leslie, we still have a way to go.
• 8:12
  Absolutely.
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  And as of recently, I'm sure everybody has heard in the news in terms of states that
• 8:18
  have put bills in place against the trans community, as well as, you know, families
• 8:24
  of trans youth and even book bannings and don't say gay, you know, the LGBT community
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  is under attack.
• 8:33
  Yeah.
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  I mean, it's, it's really good.
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  And the drag community as well.
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  Absolutely.
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  And it's going after all of the performers and the performances as well.
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  And it's interesting because I was reading about the legislation that's being passed.
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  It's it's it's absolutely aimed at the at the LGBTQ plus community, but other communities,
• 9:00
  other parts of society are looking at it as well.
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  You know, is there going to be people being arrested and other venues and other events
• 9:09
  as well?
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  And, you know, I just think there's just so much hate being spread across state and federal
• 9:16
  government right now.
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  It's just the fight just is still very much ongoing.
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  And I, I know that I've had conversations with people in my family, like, you know,
• 9:25
  will we see it in our lifetime?
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  I don't know.
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  I don't know.
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  What are your thoughts?
• 9:31
  Yeah.
• 9:32
  I try to focus on the positive and in terms of looking at some of the areas that we've
• 9:36
  made positive improvements.
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  And I look at the education as an opportunity to, you know, educate people against that.
• 9:46
  Yeah.
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  The hate that is occurring.
• 9:48
  Yeah.
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  And it just it's mind blowing in terms of how it's justified.
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  I just I have a very difficult time understanding it.
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  And I try to take a step back and look at it from their view and try to understand it.
• 10:03
  And I just can't.
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  It's pure and simple.
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  It's ignorance and a way to justify hate and using religion to support their cause.
• 10:19
  I've often felt that, you know, that religion in a positive state of love and love thy neighbor
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  and things of that nature and, you know, not throwing stones and just trying to be empathetic
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  and accepting.
• 10:40
  And of kind of building on your sort of position on let's take the positive and build on that
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  and how do we sort of demonstrate and show all the good.
• 10:52
  You know, as storytellers, you know, we see the power of stories as a conduit for change
• 10:57
  and a conduit for understanding, you know, and I guess as you are thinking about the
• 11:03
  power of stories, I mean, can you think about maybe a moment when a story of courage or
• 11:09
  authenticity maybe broke a barrier for you that you physically saw that you experienced
• 11:14
  that, you know, I know that it's really important to tell these stories, but I mean, can you
• 11:19
  think about a time when you saw some actual change come from, you know, the goodness of
• 11:24
  the stories that come?
• 11:25
  Yeah, I think that the, you know, gay marriage act with the amount of money that went behind
• 11:32
  the defense of marriage act and trying to prevent same sex couples from getting married.
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  I mean, it was a positive thing that to be honest, I never thought that I would see in
• 11:44
  my lifetime.
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  But certainly, you know, a lot of good came from that and there was a lot of, you know,
• 11:51
  discussion about the world was going to end and nothing bad came from that.
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  You know, just good in terms of showing that, you know, relationships can be long term and
• 12:03
  you know, those relationships can endure, you know, and same sex couples being married
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  doesn't cause any bad in the world or bad to any other people.
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  It's just a matter of solidifying a relationship in terms of making that more accepting and
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  providing benefits and equal equal rights for people.
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  You know, you work for a company that has been, and I'm sure it's from a lot of the
• 12:30
  fight and a lot of the, you know, really working with leadership, but you work for a company
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  that is currently welcoming to the LGBTQ plus community and its employees.
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  As you have worked in this employee resource group, have you found that it's become easier
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  for the employees to be open?
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  How long would you say or has it been years, months that it seems like it's been, you know,
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  very accepting?
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  I've been involved in ERGs for many companies and through many years to advocate and promote
• 13:07
  in terms of equal rights for employees.
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  And it's I've been very fortunate for the companies that I've worked for that have been
• 13:16
  supporting of the LGBT community.
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  And you know, certainly have heard of companies that are not as accepting and certainly feel
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  fortunate that I've worked for companies that are accepting and accept people for who they
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  are and want people to be authentic in who they bring to work.
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  I mean, unless you've been in the shoes of somebody in terms of, you know, I spoke earlier
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  about the fact that, you know, when I was young and not feeling like I fit in in school
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  because of the conversations and discussions that were taking place, you know, also in
• 13:50
  the workplace, you think about when you're talking about, you know, just coming back
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  from a weekend.
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  So what did you do this weekend?
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  How was your weekend?
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  And, you know, thinking about every word that you say because you may out yourself for not
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  being able to explain the weekend that you had because of, you know, not sharing everything
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  about your lifestyle or what you did because you have to be careful and tread lightly in
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  discussing your personal time.
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  I can't imagine what that must be like because I've always been fortunate that, you know,
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  I have been in situations where I've had to be careful in terms of those conversations.
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  But, you know, certainly, you know, in terms of feeling fortunate in the companies that
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  I have worked at, that I have been able to be my true authentic self.
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  And when you travel, you need to be careful.
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  You know, you talked about other areas where it's not safe.
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  And sometimes it's it's I can't say it's an instinct.
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  It's more of a survival, right, in terms of knowing who you can share and what you can
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  share with whom is important.
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  And, you know, it's something that you always have to think about in terms of, you know,
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  there have been times that, you know, my wife and I have been traveling and, you know, you
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  get an elevator and somebody says, are you two sisters?
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  You know, and rather than go through the long explanation of saying, no, this is my wife.
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  We've been together for so many years.
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  And, you know, sharing that story, it's easy to say, yep, we're sisters.
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  We're just out for a weekend away from the husbands.
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  And who wants to live that way?
• 15:31
  You know, you're not able to, you know, if you're in a part of the country or even in
• 15:35
  the part of the world where you can't be your true authentic self, it's unfortunate.
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  So hopefully we'll get to a point where educating and teaching people that, you know, we're
• 15:46
  not affecting other people.
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  We're not impacting other people.
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  We're just trying to live our lives and, you know, live and let live and love who you want
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  to love and not cause any ill effect to anyone.
• 15:59
  You know, as an ally, I'm always trying to be the best ally I can be.
• 16:04
  But I think, you know, maybe you could give a little advice to those, our listeners who,
• 16:10
  you know, want to also be good allies and, you know, what are, what are things that they
• 16:14
  should be thinking about or doing in order to be supportive and understanding to their
• 16:19
  LGBTQIA plus, you know, friends or relatives or coworkers.
• 16:24
  I know you had spoken earlier about understanding the importance of pronouns.
• 16:30
  But, you know, what are, what are some things that, that allies can do?
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  Being aware and understanding in terms of if somebody chooses to use a specific pronoun,
• 16:44
  sometimes you have to understand whether or not how close you are in that relationship,
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  whether or not you want to pry.
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  Sometimes people want to share and educate.
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  Sometimes people want to be more personal and it's more for, you know, just for your
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  awareness, you know, I mean, I have in my signature, she, her, hers pronouns and always
• 17:07
  try to use that, you know, in zoom meetings, you know, I'll go in and edit my profile.
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  So she, her, hers pronouns.
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  I feel like sometimes I come across as I have a deep voice and I don't like to be, you know,
• 17:23
  disassociated and called a he, him when I'm a she, her, you know, it's just using the
• 17:28
  right pronouns and just being aware of the pronouns that somebody uses.
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  And you know, I've heard a lot of people say they struggle with using they, them because
• 17:38
  there's only one person.
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  But if somebody chooses whether or not for whatever reason they're transitioning from
• 17:47
  female to male or male to female and or why they go by they, them, it's not for us to
• 17:53
  judge it's for us to be respectful and use the right pronouns that that person chooses
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  to use and understand whether or not somebody wants to be open to share why they choose
• 18:04
  to use those pronouns.
• 18:07
  Because you know, there are questions that are inappropriate and there are questions
• 18:13
  that are just most people are willing to share with you and talk with you and educate because
• 18:20
  we have to, right.
• 18:21
  In terms of, you know, in order to educate, we need to be able to share and be open and
• 18:28
  be open to questions and to be an ally, you know, sometimes when you see somebody, you
• 18:35
  know, asking inappropriate questions, sometimes you might need to step in and say, you know,
• 18:41
  I think we might be getting into an uncomfortable situation that we might not want to get into
• 18:47
  asking those type of questions.
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  Or you know, if the conversation is going well, advocate and talk about why, you know,
• 18:57
  why you think in the terms that you think and why it's important to ally for people
• 19:02
  that are, you know, in less, you know, why you feel the way that you do.
• 19:07
  I mean, I've been working with you, Leanna, and in the past, I know that you've always
• 19:11
  been a strong ally and I certainly appreciate that and all the work that you've done.
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  I know one of the things, you know, having a conversation with members of my family,
• 19:24
  you know, and I think I may have communicated this when we had, you know, been connecting
• 19:29
  to get the invite out for this podcast.
• 19:34
  You know, this is a piece of the pie.
• 19:39
  This is not the whole pie.
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  And I think that people need to understand that someone who is in is a member of the
• 19:48
  LGBTQIA plus community, they are also a worker, maybe a parent, maybe a for parent, maybe
• 19:58
  a sibling, you know, they are athletes, they, you know, they, they hate, you know, singing
• 20:09
  birds outside their window in the morning, they, you know, there's in and I think, you
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  know, that's a big part of why pride is good for awareness and education.
• 20:21
  But you know, we live this year round.
• 20:25
  So it's to look and I think that's why the some of the legislation is scary because,
• 20:32
  you know, you're, you're forgetting all the parts of these people and all the pieces of
• 20:37
  the pie.
• 20:39
  So I think that being an ally is something you do.
• 20:44
  It's something it's who you are.
• 20:45
  It's not just something you do.
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  It's part of your being, you know, it is you are going to pick up the fight, you are going
• 20:51
  to talk about it year round, you, you know, I tend to break out all of my rainbow t shirts
• 20:58
  and socks and everything come May, but I'm also wearing stuff year round, just to heighten
• 21:06
  awareness.
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  So, you know, I, but I, but it was good for me to ask the questions of my gay family members
• 21:15
  because I never ever would want them to feel like, and I hate to say it this way, I would
• 21:21
  never want them to feel like a mascot because that's a horrible thing.
• 21:24
  You know, this person, I'm just another person.
• 21:29
  So if you, you said earlier that you want to be supportive and be there for, for kids
• 21:37
  and for young people who are questioning or are scared or have no place to go, or they
• 21:42
  need a place to go to ask questions.
• 21:47
  If they came to you and they said, you know, I want to tell my story.
• 21:52
  What might you advise them?
• 21:54
  How would you advise them?
• 21:56
  You know, is because we've talked about things like safety.
• 21:59
  We've talked about openness.
• 22:00
  Like how would you advise them?
• 22:02
  Yeah, I think even in this day and age, you know, to your point per safety thinking about
• 22:08
  in terms of how they want to share this story, whether or not they want to share this story
• 22:12
  and making sure that they're in a safe place to be able to tell their story.
• 22:17
  And you know, I think it's, you know, nowadays it's a matter of, you know, knowing where
• 22:23
  they're at and you know, whether or not that they are in a safe place to be able to tell
• 22:29
  that story.
• 22:30
  I think that we're very fortunate up here in New England.
• 22:33
  I think we very live in a very liberal area.
• 22:36
  However, you know, I still think that, you know, hate still exists.
• 22:42
  I think that, you know, it's within everybody's neighborhood, within everybody's, you know,
• 22:48
  being that you can be in an unsafe situation.
• 22:53
  So I think you need to be aware of your surroundings.
• 22:56
  And I think that, you know, you need to make sure that you have a good support network,
• 23:00
  make sure that, you know, people around you support what you, you know, try to support
• 23:05
  yourself with people that support you for who you are.
• 23:09
  And you know, if people don't accept you or are putting you down or, you know, making
• 23:17
  you feel less than what you are, then you're in the wrong space and you need to find the
• 23:22
  right place to, you know, find that support.
• 23:25
  And I think that that's one of the things that there are so many different organizations
• 23:31
  locally as well as internationally, as well as nationally that support LGBT youth and
• 23:41
  trans, and, you know, whether or not it's youth or adults or seniors, you know, there
• 23:47
  are struggles in everyday life.
• 23:50
  So there are many organizations out there.
• 23:53
  I was surprised to find out the number of organizations that exist that are fighting
• 23:58
  the fight to, you know, make people safe.
• 24:02
  And you know, for both youth and young adults, you know, find a place where you can be safe
• 24:10
  and be your true self.
• 24:12
  So, yeah, so I think that makes sense.
• 24:15
  Like find your tribe, find that safety net behind underneath you.
• 24:21
  Yep.
• 24:22
  Because, I mean, I think about people in my family or people that I know and tell their
• 24:28
  stories and they know that they have people that have their back.
• 24:32
  Yeah.
• 24:33
  And certainly, you know, with somebody like you that, you know, has their back, you know,
• 24:38
  the organizations that have come up and, you know, in terms of nonprofit organizations
• 24:44
  that are looking to support, you know, there's a lot of good organizations out there that
• 24:49
  are mentored and supported by companies as well as, you know, organizations that support.
• 24:57
  It's hard to choose one.
• 24:58
  Right, right, right.
• 24:59
  Well, that's the thing.
• 25:00
  It's like, you know, you could give a list of them, but I mean, there's so many.
• 25:04
  So yeah, yeah, so Google's for.
• 25:07
  Yeah, exactly.
• 25:09
  Exactly.
• 25:10
  Yeah.
• 25:11
  Well, that's all the time that we have for today.
• 25:15
  But I really want to thank you, Leslie, for coming on and having this conversation, this
• 25:19
  very important conversation.
• 25:22
  And you know, your advice, I think I loved your advice for any young person who may want
• 25:26
  to tell their story.
• 25:28
  You know, this is a we're just in this time, this era right now where it felt like we were
• 25:34
  making, you know, it was two steps forward, three steps back.
• 25:37
  But but the, you know, stories really are the conduit for change and for understanding.
• 25:43
  And you know, they still need to be told.
• 25:45
  So you know, thank you again so much for coming on and being our guest.
• 25:51
  Well, thank you for having me and thank you for the invite and happy pride.
• 25:56
  Thank you.
• 25:57
  And to our listeners, whether you hear us locally from the BTV studios in Bedford, Massachusetts,
• 26:05
  or across the globe on such podcast channels as Spotify, Apple podcasts, or Amazon Prime.
• 26:11
  Thank you so much for listening.
• 26:12
  We hope you enjoyed this episode and we'll see you next time.