Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What Emotions Do Narcissists Experience After You Cut Them Off?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful folks?
- 0:02Today we're going to be talking about what emotions do
- 0:05narcissists experience when you decide to cut ties with them,
- 0:10When you decide it's over, what emotions do narcissistic people
- 0:14go through? If you're new here, my name is
- 0:17Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
- 0:19welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:38So, Blam, welcome back, folks. Welcome back.
- 0:41Welcome back. Yes, question of the day,
- 0:43question of the year, question of the century, question of the
- 0:47that's going to take you to the rest of 2024.
- 0:50What emotions, if any, do narcissist experience?
- 0:55When you finally decide that you're done, when you finally
- 0:58decide that you had enough and you decide to cut ties with
- 1:01them. When the the final discard from
- 1:05your perspective, from the from the perspective of their
- 1:09survivor slash thriver before we happen today's episode y'all
- 1:13find everything about me at mentalillness.net.
- 1:16Hit that subscribe button if you haven't already as well coaching
- 1:19courses everything mental illness.net.
- 1:23But yes, y'all. So I think a lot of people and I
- 1:27feel like I'm going I'm going to get some of these comments.
- 1:29I already know it. I already know I'm going to get
- 1:31some of these comments. Well, Lee, they don't experience
- 1:34any emotions at all. They're devils.
- 1:35Devils don't have emotions. Sorry Lee, not you, but also
- 1:39you. You're devil, you're devilish.
- 1:40You're not a devil anymore. You're devilish because you've
- 1:43had to personality. Hey, hey.
- 1:45I don't make the rules, right. But narcissists do have
- 1:49emotions. Yeah, most narcissists do.
- 1:51There are some narcissistic people when you slide up the
- 1:53scale, when you get to that sociopathy and there's
- 1:55psychopathy, psychopathy, you might be less and less.
- 1:59And you go higher up the scale. You go less the the less
- 2:02emotions experience, I feel like.
- 2:05But yeah, yeah. So narcissistic people, right,
- 2:08are going to experience all the emotions.
- 2:10But of course, they're going to like the first emotion that a
- 2:13lot of narcissists are going to experience is anger.
- 2:18And this is going every single narcissist is going to get
- 2:20angry. I feel like every single
- 2:21narcissist, there could be some narcissist.
- 2:23I can't, I can't speak to every but every narcissist.
- 2:25Yeah, I know. I don't like to speak in
- 2:26absolute. This is not my thing.
- 2:28But I feel like most narcissists are going to feel angry when
- 2:32you're done for good, regardless of whatever they have done.
- 2:35I feel like that's big right there.
- 2:36That's a big thing. Regardless of whatever they have
- 2:39done, they are going to get angry that you decided that you
- 2:43are done with them. They're going to get angry that
- 2:45you, you have decided to cut ties with them and be done with
- 2:48them and be finished with them for good.
- 2:50They're going to get pissed off. They just are.
- 2:53This is the truth a lot of people are going to experience
- 2:56with narcissistic people, right? There's a truth to it right
- 2:59there. Like they're going to get mad as
- 3:01hell. And the anger can make them do a
- 3:03lot of different things. The anger can make them not,
- 3:05it's going to sound crazy, but the anger could actually make
- 3:09them not reach out to you. Lee, what the hell are you
- 3:12talking about? They get so angry and so upset
- 3:15with how things have went, how things are going, that they
- 3:17don't reach out to you at all. Like they get they, they are
- 3:20done with you. They, they are cooked.
- 3:22They are cooked with you. They're finished with you.
- 3:24They're so angry and pissed off at you.
- 3:26They, they don't reach out at all.
- 3:27They're, they're finished with you, right?
- 3:29That happens. That could happen.
- 3:30That happens to a lot of people, right?
- 3:32It happens to a lot of people in these circumstances.
- 3:34They get so pissed off at you, they don't reach out to you.
- 3:36The ego is so huge. The ego is so big.
- 3:39The ego is so massive that they don't reach out to you.
- 3:42But others could get so angry that they do reach out to you
- 3:44and they don't stop. They don't.
- 3:46They come and stalk you. They hunt you down, right?
- 3:48They hunt you down. They'll stop.
- 3:50They'll come to your work, they'll come to your job,
- 3:52they'll come to your house. They'll come to your parents
- 3:53house. They'll come to your friend's
- 3:54house, to the gym, to the post office, to your favorite cafe,
- 3:58to your favorite kombucha spot. You see what I'm saying?
- 4:01They'll come to whoever they feel like they need to come to
- 4:03disrupt your life, to disrupt your peace, to disrupt just
- 4:07become just, to become a disruptor, just in general.
- 4:11They will come to wherever they feel like they need to come to
- 4:14disrupt your life because they're angry as hell at you.
- 4:16This is the truth. When they get if some of them
- 4:19get angry enough. So most narcissists, if not all,
- 4:22are going to be pissed off at the fact that you decided to
- 4:25leave that you that you are done with them.
- 4:29They're going to be furious that you are done with them, that
- 4:31you're, that you're pissed off or whatever the situation may
- 4:34be, whatever the case may be, that's going to happen to so
- 4:36many people, right? I will also say this as well,
- 4:40the anger is a lot of people say that anger is a secondary
- 4:44emotion. So the anger could be just a
- 4:47cover up for what they're actually feeling.
- 4:49Because I feel like, and this is going to be true for most, if
- 4:53not all narcissists, that they're angry, but there's going
- 4:57to be a lot of shame associated with it, right?
- 5:01There's a lot of shame that is going to be associated with you
- 5:04leaving them like a lot of shame associated with damn, damn.
- 5:09You rejected me, right? You rejected me.
- 5:13You broke over me. So that means you're in charge.
- 5:16That means you. I mean, that means you win,
- 5:20quote, UN quote. They'll go through that and go
- 5:23through that situation right there.
- 5:24They feel like you are somehow the victor because you are the
- 5:29one that left them. You are the one that dipped out
- 5:31on them. So they're going to be mad as
- 5:33hell at you. They would be ashamed of it.
- 5:37So shame can also make motivate narcissists to do this exact
- 5:41same thing that anger and rage can.
- 5:43Because again, I feel like the anger and the rage could be
- 5:46covering up the shame that they feel because of what they have
- 5:50done and what has transpired, right?
- 5:53That is absolutely a truth right there.
- 5:55This is what happens. The shame could be covering up
- 5:59the anger, the rage, but they they can actually provoke them
- 6:03to do the same things that anger and rage should do through a lot
- 6:06of narcissists, if not all are going to feel shame.
- 6:08Yeah, and some of them like, yeah, on a rare occasion and
- 6:11this is going to be true right here.
- 6:12Y'all don't do not let this right.
- 6:14Let me do not let what I'm about to say hurt your feelings,
- 6:19right? Don't let what I'm about to say
- 6:21hurt your feelings. I know some people like, well,
- 6:23how the hell are we supposed to not let that hurt our feelings?
- 6:25That's horrible. I get it, right?
- 6:28I truly understand it. But I will say this,
- 6:31narcissistic people in these situations, some of them could
- 6:36be happy that you discarded them.
- 6:38They could be happy that you broke up with them.
- 6:41They could be happy that it's over and done with because they
- 6:45are the ones that intentionally pushed you away.
- 6:49Do not let your feelings be hurt because I said that.
- 6:51But like they push us away because we don't mean much to
- 6:54them. I did not say that.
- 6:58The story that you tell yourself when you're trying to heal and
- 7:01get over these relationships is extremely important.
- 7:05It just is. I tell you every day I come in
- 7:06here, every day I come in here, the is the police or the fire
- 7:09department every single day. Every day that's the ambulance,
- 7:15ambulance, ambulance. But this happens like just
- 7:22because they want you to be the one that leaves, like literally,
- 7:26it does not mean that you're worthless.
- 7:28It is. It just means that they
- 7:30themselves could. It could mean that they
- 7:32themselves are cowards and just couldn't be the one that leads
- 7:35themselves because they want to somehow play the victim to their
- 7:38friends and family members, to other people around them.
- 7:41That's what they could mean. There's so many people in this
- 7:44space right here. Just decided you're like, well,
- 7:45Lee, I just wish that this made sense right here, Now I'm
- 7:50telling you right here, this is the mentality.
- 7:54Don't let because don't let the fact that they want to be you
- 7:57don't want to be the lead make you feel like less of a person,
- 7:59like make you feel less worthy because it doesn't mean that
- 8:03you're less worthy. It just could mean that they are
- 8:05cowards and just afraid to do it and want to play the victim.
- 8:08That's what they could mean. Don't let it go.
- 8:10Don't let it go past that, because if you let it go past
- 8:12that, you're going to be sitting and you're going to be stewing
- 8:14and you're going to be mad as hell.
- 8:17You've been mad at yourself because some of them will be
- 8:18happy that you left. They won't reach out to you.
- 8:20They'll rub it in. They have a new supply already.
- 8:23Don't let you out. Try your hardest not to let that
- 8:26be there. Just make you feel bad.
- 8:28Well, they didn't have the courage to break over me to my
- 8:30face. Would they have made you feel
- 8:31any better? No, you know what I'm saying?
- 8:36They're just like, just see how cowardly, cowardly that they
- 8:38are. See the cowardice that they're
- 8:40experiencing right there, right? And just make it make sure that
- 8:43you don't let that be the destruction, the destructive
- 8:46force in your life because they're happy that you left,
- 8:49right? I'll say this as well, y'all,
- 8:51I'll say this as well mindset wise, that some narcissists
- 8:55could be confused that you left. Like there are the actual
- 8:58narcissistic people out there, right, that are confused that
- 9:02you cut ties with them, that you went no contact with them
- 9:05because they don't understand what they've done wrong.
- 9:07Well, Leah, why don't they understand what they've done
- 9:09wrong? But we told them over and over
- 9:12again, you see what I'm saying? They, they told them over and
- 9:15over again, blah, blah. I was like, because some of them
- 9:18don't want to ever admit that they were wrong about anything
- 9:22because admitting that they were wrong doesn't help benefit them
- 9:25in any way. How does admitting that I'm
- 9:27wrong benefit benefit me? But it isn't.
- 9:30It brings up the shame, it brings up the anger, it brings
- 9:32up all of those other emotions. So some of them could absolutely
- 9:35be confused why you founded a side of catalog with them,
- 9:38especially if you've forgiven them before for the same thing
- 9:41that you're leaving them for, right?
- 9:43Wow, you really left me for having another baby outside the
- 9:48relationship. I thought you were OK.
- 9:50This is number three. I thought you were fine with it.
- 9:54I thought you were fine. I wrote it in my notebook.
- 9:56Veronica told me a very funny joke.
- 9:58I thought you were joking. Anchorman, the Anchorman 2, The
- 10:02Anchorman 1 is one of the Anchorman's.
- 10:04But you see right there, they don't take you seriously because
- 10:08a lot of them don't ever think that you're going to be the one
- 10:10to leave them. They always think that you're
- 10:12going to be around them. They always think that you're
- 10:14going to be there for them. They always think that you're
- 10:16going to be just you're going to be like, did you always going to
- 10:20be around to be their emotional and sometimes physical, physical
- 10:24punching bag. They always think that.
- 10:27So you yourself have to prepare for that.
- 10:30I'm just telling you, this is all about preparation and
- 10:32readiness. And also when you have you, even
- 10:35if you've already left the relationship, this also can help
- 10:39you just get to that point where you're healing, you're growing
- 10:42and like you understand what you've been through, what you
- 10:44experienced after it already has happened.
- 10:47Because that's why a lot of people do the coaching college
- 10:48with me. They've already left their
- 10:49relationship. They're just still confused
- 10:51about certain things that have happened and certain things that
- 10:53have transpired. And they want the perspective of
- 10:55a diagnosed narcissist who has done and said some of these
- 10:57things that they've experienced. I get that.
- 11:00So some of them could absolutely be confused that you absolutely
- 11:04left them like they were like, what the hell, huh?
- 11:09Confused and shocked. So let's ask shocked into that
- 11:12cause shocked. They can shocked like, wait,
- 11:13what? You actually left.
- 11:15I posted a story. I posted a video on my other
- 11:17channel. It's called Lee dot action.
- 11:19It's my Lee action channel is like literally a reaction
- 11:21channel. I posted a video where a woman
- 11:23literally moved, sold her mobile home and moo had it moved while
- 11:28her husband was at work. He came home mad.
- 11:29He probably came home mad as hell in shock that his wife
- 11:33finally decided to leave him after he he had been having a 20
- 11:36plus year affair and two kids outside of the marriage.
- 11:40He was probably shocked and she's like, what the hell, you
- 11:42left. I thought we were OK.
- 11:44You see what I'm saying? They could be shocked and
- 11:46confused that you left. They absolutely can.
- 11:50I like, I'll end it with this. Y'all here y'all.
- 11:53I don't think there's any narcissist.
- 11:54They ever feel like gracious, grateful right emotions.
- 11:59They're like, I noticed some of them could be happy.
- 12:01I don't think a lot of them would feel grateful that you
- 12:03finally decided to leave because there's this fear because like
- 12:07there's fear in it, in it, because they, they think you
- 12:10might tell everybody what they've done.
- 12:12They're a fear of exposure. There's a fear of losing money.
- 12:14There's a fear, fear of losing access to you and whatnot.
- 12:18So they, a lot of them are crippled by this fear.
- 12:21They don't know how to act. They don't know how to behave.
- 12:23They don't know how to how to treat you.
- 12:24They don't know what to do. That fear can absolutely cripple
- 12:28them. So they're afraid that you left.
- 12:31Their fear is eating them, eating away at them.
- 12:35They don't know what the hell to do.
- 12:36They was like, oh shit, they left.
- 12:37What am I going to do here? How can I survive?
- 12:40What am I supposed to do now? You know me And then they do
- 12:42this type of stuff and they just drown you out.
- 12:44You know, you have to be prepared for this.
- 12:46This is the type of stuff you have to be prepared for.
- 12:48Or you just, they're just going to take you down this road and
- 12:50they're going to physically, mentally, emotionally abuse the
- 12:52hell out of you for until they get tired of it, right?
- 12:56Anyway, y'all thank y'all for vibing with me to the end of
- 12:59this video. If you made it this far, hit
- 13:00that subscribe button. You made it this far.
- 13:02If you only follow me on TikTok, make sure to follow me over here
- 13:05as well because you never know what happened to TikTok.
- 13:07I have the other channel called Lee Actions as well.
- 13:10My Lee Actions channel is just about my reaction channel.
- 13:13It would not. Anyways, y'all think I'm tuning
- 13:14in. And as always, y'all mental
- 13:16illness is out. Peace.
- 13:18What's going on? Beautiful folks.
- 13:19Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 13:22I truly appreciate it. You have no idea.
- 13:24If you haven't already, hit that subscribe button.
- 13:26You made it this far, you might as well subscribe.
- 13:30It really does help the channel y'all y'all?
- 13:31It helps me reach more people as well.
- 13:33Also, I have coaching my courses and my support group available
- 13:36at www.mentalillness.net. Thank you so much.
- 13:40Make sure you stick around, watch another video or two.
- 13:42I appreciate it. I'm out.