Latest / Linen Suit & Plastic Tie / How Do You Auction A Story? ft. a Christie's Auctioneer (Lydia Fenet)

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How Do You Auction A Story? ft. a Christie's Auctioneer (Lydia Fenet) · Linen Suit & Plastic Tie

0:00
Welcome back to the No Welcome Welcome to the Linen Suit and
0:05
Plastic type. No, I want to enunciate more.
0:14
Welcome Welcome to the Linen Suit and Plastic Type Podcast.
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This is the podcast where we work to disset and analyze the
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epic and the amazing, the suspended, the cool power of
0:28
storytelling. And learn how to harness that
0:31
power to supercharge our everyday lives.
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I'm Gorev. And I'm Kevin.
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You know, Kev. Something I'm very proud of
0:42
myself on is that I consume a very diverse set of
0:48
storytelling. The podcast, of course, because
0:50
we've meet so many cool storytellers and I watched so
0:54
much TV. I watch everything cartoons.
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I watch is every TV show. I watch a lot of TV.
1:01
I watch a lot of movies in my house right now.
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I have comic books, I have graphic novels, I have scripts,
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I have records, novels, fiction and nonfiction.
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I think it's something I work hard at and something that it's
1:20
important to me, like. I know we've talked about before
1:23
whenever I feel like there's a gap in my diversity of
1:26
storytelling, like games. So I started using the Oculus
1:30
for or like. One thing we talked a lot is
1:33
that I didn't read a lot of non fiction books.
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So no, sorry, I didn't. I always confused us.
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I don't read a lot of fiction books.
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And then through the podcast I started and even out of the
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podcast I'm reading more fiction.
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And now two places I'm trying to expand in is 1 Web Tunes.
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I've read a few, but Web Tunes is this version of web online
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comic books that I'm trying to do more of and horror.
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I've never done a lot of that, and I'm trying to do more of
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that too. The reason I say this, the
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reason I think diversity of storytelling is so important, is
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because one thing that bothers me sometimes is when people
2:08
blanketly hate things for one bad experience.
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So it's like when people say, oh, I hate seafood and I'm like,
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well, seafood's a huge amount of food.
2:20
Like that's salmon, which I'm alluded to, but that's a weird
2:24
first example. But it's like, that's fish,
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that's shrimp, that's oysters, that's lobster, that's.
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I mean, there's so many different aspects of seafood,
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right? And this people listen, well, I
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hate seafood. I'm like, that's fine, that's
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fine. But that's just an example.
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And so when people are like. Oh, I don't read comic books.
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Comic books are for children. I'm like, well, I can name to
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you sick comic books that are full of stuff children should
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not be reading. Or a bunch of comics that get
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into philosophy and make me think twice.
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I mean, and the same thing with cartoons like Rick and Morty and
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like Bojack Horseman. So I think.
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Diversity of storytelling, diversity of stories you consume
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is so important to allow you to experience more of the world and
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allow you to connect with people you notify you connect to and
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allow you to experience elements the world that you wouldn't in
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your day-to-day life. So this is my PSA and my goal
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for everyone listening is ask yourselves, is there any types
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of storytelling? Is there any genres or any?
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Types of books, whether it be comic books or games or graphic
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novels. And say, maybe I'll give that
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another chance. Because what you'll find more
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often is that, especially these, some of these genres, there's so
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many different artists in them, more often than not, you're more
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likely to find something you love within it.
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It's important to have an open mind.
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It allows you to experience things you never thought you'd
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experience. Because it's a.
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Form of the world you shut off. Yeah, and try more seafood
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people. There's a great variety.
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It's great. If you didn't like one type of
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seafood, you might like another. Anyways, we're gonna talk about
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a really cool and unique storyteller today and a version
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of storytelling that we have never talked about before.
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Kev, who are we talking to today?
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Oh yes, today we are talking to Lydia Fannette.
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Lydia. Is a global thought leader and
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ambassador of Christie's auction House.
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Throughout her career as Christie's lead charity
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auctioneer, Lydia has led auctions for over 600
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organizations, raising over half a billion dollars of nonprofit
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globally. Huge.
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And we're going to talk to Lydia about, you know, how
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storytelling is impactful for auctioning.
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Which is a a really cool profession that neither of us
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really knew much about. So this is a fun conversation,
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and we also get to talk to a lady about her new book, claim
5:09
her confidence, unlock your superpower and create the life
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you want. So let's get into it.
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Let's find out what story turn skills we can learn from an
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auctioneer. All right, Lydia, to start us
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off, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
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What is the story? Absolutely.
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So my name is, as you said, Lydia Fannette.
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I grew up in the Deep South in Louisiana and I have lived in
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New York City for 21 years. So I'm kind of a hybrid of all
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of America, I like to think or at least the East side of
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America. I became an auctioneer for
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Christie's auction house when I was 24 years old, and that
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really has been. The base of my story, especially
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as it pertains to my career, it has given me a launching pad for
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so many more things because of the lessons that I've learned as
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an auctioneer. So I have added many titles to
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that sense. I'm an auctioneer, I'm an
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author. My second book is coming out
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next week, and I have a podcast called Claim Your Confidence,
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which is the same name as the book.
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And I'm also a professional speaker.
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So all of the things tangentially touch auctioneering
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because they are all things that I've learned from being.
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On stage, night after night, since I was 24.
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But that's really that's my adult story.
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We love asking a question cuz we like letting everyone frame
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their own story and hearing the things they use, the words they
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use to describe themselves, the labels, the the touch points,
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the people. I find it very interesting that
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you kind of pivot your career off this auctioneer title, this,
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this level of auctioneering and this idea of you as an
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auctioneer and how that's kind of framed your life and I think.
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Through the writings and recordings you've seen of you,
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it's really interesting how that experience shaped everything
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you've done since. So can you tell us a little bit
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more about how that happened and overall kind of define what
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auctioneer means to you? Absolutely.
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I read an article when I was in college, my junior year in
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college, about an auction house in New York City called
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Christie's. The article was about.
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Princess Diana's dresses being sold at a place called
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Christie's, and I didn't know anything about the auction world
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at the time. I really thought that art was
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something that was in a museum. I had never given any thought to
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the business side of art, and this article just captivated me.
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You know, there's something about the auction world, and I
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can say this having worked in it for over 20 years, there is
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something captivating about it. It's a very glamorous world on
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the outside. On the inside, it's a lot of
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hard work. It's a lot of late hours, but
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it's also. We were surrounded by people who
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have a deep love and learning, so I started interning there in
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college after stalking the internship coordinator because
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again, I didn't have any connections to get in, so it was
7:57
just straight up cold calling. And she finally relented after
8:01
about two straight weeks of me calling because there was no
8:03
caller ID at that point so she did not know who was calling
8:06
every morning, but it was me asking the same question.
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She told me no to for almost two straight weeks and it was such
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an amazing. Moment walking in those doors
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because I fell in love with it. And I was at that point
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literally wiping tables and shredding paper and, you know,
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basically recoding departments that have been renamed on
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endless reams of paper, you know?
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And so there was really nothing glamorous about my job at all,
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but it seemed very glamorous. The world seemed glamorous and I
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really fell in love with it. And.
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Because I started in events when I went back after my my first
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internship to get a job there, I started in the events department
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and we used to accompany the auctioneers to all of the big
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charity galas in New York City. And charity auctioneering is
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very different than art auctioneering.
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Art auctioneering is standing on stage when people are coming in
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to buy art. Charity auctioneering is getting
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up on stage when nobody but wants to buy what you're
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selling, and trying to convince them to sell it, and hoping that
9:00
the alcohol that they've had is going to push them a little bit
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further than they would have otherwise.
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And that was really where it started.
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I saw the auctioneers on stage about three years in.
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They changed the tryout rules so you didn't have to be an officer
9:13
in the company. And I went to tryouts with about
9:15
20 people and there ended up being four of us at the end of
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it. And I was still standing.
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I was the only woman and I was suddenly probably 10 years
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younger than the guys I trained with that day.
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And it just became this really amazing opportunity for growth
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that I've always found. I talk a lot about confidence.
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My second book is about confidence that.
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It's by testing ourselves that we get confident.
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It's not that we're born with confidence, it's that you have
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to get outside of the box of what you think is normal or easy
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time and time again, because then you learn how much you're
9:47
capable of. And that's what auctioneering
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really became for me. You know, it was just getting on
9:52
stage night after night and really not doing a great job.
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I don't, I don't think anybody who saw me the first year I was
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an auctioneer would say I did a great job.
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But I learned over many, many years and many, many auctions.
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How to control a crowd, how to captivate a room, when to throw
10:08
in the jokes, like when to let it go, you know?
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And all of those things over time have made my career into
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this just incredible, incredible ride.
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You know, I've, I've been all over the world in this job.
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I've seen so many things. But again, kind of going back to
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that point of growth and always wanting to grow, I also had
10:27
gotten to the point where I feel like I hadn't mastered it,
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because I don't think you ever really master any skill.
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You can always improve, but. I feel like I can get on any
10:35
stage anywhere in the world, and I don't get nervous anymore.
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And so to me, there was time for a new challenge.
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And that came when I told the New York Times that I was
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writing a book that I wasn't writing.
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But then I ended up selling the book based on a chapter that I
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threw together to make sure that I had something.
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When the New York Times article spurred all these publishing
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houses reaching out. And then all of a sudden there
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was that fear, right? Like, Oh my God, I'm not going
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to be able to do this. And then fighting through the
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fear and getting it done. And that ultimately became my
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first book. So I feel like that's been my
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life of just throwing myself into situations where I'm like,
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Oh my God, why did I do this? Why did I do this?
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And then on the other side, being like that was incredible,
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even if I bombed. Like, at least I tried.
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I want to put it back a little bit to charity auctioneer, cuz
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that's fascinating. And when I'm picturing
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auctioneer I am picturing pawn stars and like Storage Wars and
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the person like rattling out fast words.
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Tell me why that's on, and tell me if you have an auctioneer
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voice. Well, first and foremost, that
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is not the only type of auctioneering.
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It can be done in a more elegant fashion.
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Just so you know, that is definitely.
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And by the way, when I say that I will also give huge shout out
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to anybody who knows how to chant because I have no idea.
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That's not the type of auctioneering that I've ever
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done. But it is an unbelievable skill
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and I became the principal auctioneer for a car company
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last August and. When I went in to do one of my
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first, actually, I guess it was my second sale with them.
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They had another auctioneer and there was a big memorabilia
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section, which you have to get through really quickly.
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So they said we're going to put Brent up first.
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And I had just arrived and he got up and he went into the
12:15
street like, mom, we're running around.
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And I turned to the team and I was like, yeah, I just want to
12:19
be really clear. I cannot do that.
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They were like, no, no, no, no, it's fine, It's.
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So, no, I do have an auctioneering voice.
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Mine is more like. Good evening, ladies and
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gentlemen. My name is Lydia Finetta and I
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am so delighted to be here with you today.
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Thank you so much for attending this event.
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We are going to have a fabulous time.
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If you bid otherwise, we will be here all night.
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So let's get started. Dive in, lot #1.
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So I speed it up, but it's not a Chan for sure.
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OK, OK. It's fair.
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I just want to table states that because I'm sure many people are
12:48
upon doing that so with with charity auctioneering.
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I think the difference you described is really interesting
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because you're like, well, no one wants to buy a charity
12:58
auction. I have to get up there to
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commence at the sell. You have to tell stories like
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that's the storytelling element itself.
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You're up there, you're selling the, you're selling on the spot,
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and so much of sales is storytelling.
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Can you talk to us about that connection a little bit more?
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How? How do you approach that?
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How do you build that skill? Talk to us about that
13:15
connection. Yeah.
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I mean, it was probably the most important part of the shift that
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I had between. Being in, being trained as an
13:23
art auctioneer and then taking charity auctions, because I
13:26
would, I would always apply the rules of art auctioneering when
13:29
people were sitting quietly and you were using increments and
13:33
everything was very orderly. And because I kept doing that
13:36
during charity auctions where people were not paying
13:38
attention, they were drinking and it was a loud room, people
13:40
just didn't pay attention. And I what I learned about
13:44
halfway into my charity auction career was the storytelling is
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the piece that keeps people paying attention, even if
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they're not going to bid. So if you have a good story
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that's going to make them think like, oh, well, maybe I could
13:55
get that. It's also about the power of
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suggestion. So last night I was on stage.
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I took Savannah Guthrie from the Today Show and trained her to be
14:02
an auctioneer. And then last night we were on
14:04
stage together at the Plaza, and she was sort of doing all of the
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things that I had taught her to do.
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And one of them was in fact. Telling the lot as a story.
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So we were talking about this dream dinner party in New York
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and Brooklyn Heights at this place called Clover Hill that
14:19
Charlie Mitchell, who's the first black American Michelin
14:23
star chef, has, and apparently I have not been.
14:25
But it is an unbelievable place. You cannot get in and all of
14:29
those things. So we are given the lots as a
14:32
series of bullet points. Four people can go to dinner
14:35
Brooklyn Heights restaurant. Clover Hill, you know all of the
14:38
salient points. What you need to do in New York
14:41
City or on any stage of the world is make that into a story.
14:44
So, for instance, what I suggested to her is, look, let's
14:47
start this out as ladies and gentlemen, we live in New York
14:50
City. What is the one thing that
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everybody loves more than anything else?
14:55
A place you can to get into, right.
14:57
So you're sort of turning it on their head.
14:59
And everyone in the audience is like, Oh yeah, I like a place I
15:01
can into. Right.
15:02
So then you're sort of like, well, I have a reservation you
15:04
will never be able to get except for here tonight.
15:07
And then you can go into the details.
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But. So that's what I always try to
15:10
do with try to do with the lots on stage.
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And again, going back to what I said about the power of
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suggestion that can pertain to anything.
15:16
You know, it might be someone donates a ski house and they'll
15:19
say one week at our ski house, you know, let's call it in
15:21
Vermont. And I will call them immediately
15:24
and say, OK, is it a ski house or is it just a house in Vermont
15:27
that you they could use year round?
15:28
And if they say year round, I'm like grand.
15:30
I'm never going to skate. I'm never going to say a ski
15:32
house because that will immediately isolate anyone who
15:35
doesn't ski. So you OfferUp all the
15:37
suggestions, like a romantic getaway, a ski vacation, a place
15:41
to go, leaf peeping. You see what I'm saying?
15:43
So that's what I mean by story. Small home is cozy.
15:47
That type of sales. Exactly.
15:49
Exactly. Like you want to go to.
15:50
I'll say something about, you know, if I'm selling a beach
15:52
trip right in the middle of winter in New York, I'm like,
15:55
hey guys, remember last year when there was 100 feet of snow?
15:59
Do you want to be here in February?
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No, you don't. So here's the trip to Mexico.
16:03
You know, you're just sort of been giving them ideas of things
16:05
they might do. Paint the picture, bring them
16:07
along. Yeah.
16:09
And you did talk about the rough start that you had as an
16:14
auctioneer. You entered this?
16:15
Career very early on, and a lot of the people you know already
16:20
working or training with you even are much, much older and
16:24
more experienced. So I want to get into that a
16:27
little bit as well. What does you know the imposter
16:30
syndrome? Or what did the imposter
16:33
syndrome look like for someone whose job is to command A room?
16:38
I know, right? You know, it was funny.
16:40
I feel like at the beginning, the imposter syndrome was always
16:43
for me. On The Walking into the room
16:47
with people not necessarily on the stage, I again, I think a
16:50
lot of that's learned over time, but the impostor syndrome really
16:54
hit at the beginning because I would get so many comments about
16:58
being a woman or being young. Those were sort of the two.
17:02
Like, I remember being moved to the kids table more than once or
17:05
not having a seat or people saying to me, no, but I'm
17:08
looking for the real auctioneer, not you.
17:10
Like they're not the person who stands on stage next to the
17:12
auctioneer. And I was like, no, they I am
17:15
still the auctioneer. You can say that as many ways as
17:17
you want. But the bottom line is it's
17:18
still going to be me. And I think that that just fed
17:22
into it, you know, and add to that anytime I got off stage, I
17:26
mean people always say it's a comment you will hear every
17:28
single time. It doesn't matter how well an
17:29
auction goes. Oof.
17:31
That was a tough crowd. And I would internalize that to
17:33
think like, oh, I didn't do a good job, when in fact they just
17:36
meant like it was a tough crowd because it is a tough crowd.
17:39
You're a charity auctioneer. There are 1000 people and
17:41
they're all talking. So inherently there's always a
17:43
tough crowd. I think I just sort of took all
17:46
of that on and it just became part of this thing that I would
17:49
try to please everyone. You know, I was always overly
17:52
prepared. You know, a lot of my
17:54
colleagues, my male colleagues, would get absolutely hammered
17:57
before they got on stage to the. Onstage or a charity auctioneer
18:00
because it wasn't an art auction.
18:01
So they were like, oh, you know, whatever.
18:03
I'll have 5 glasses of wine to get on stage.
18:04
I've never touched a glass of wine before I got on stage
18:07
because all I could think of it was like, what would someone say
18:11
if I got up on stage and I was drunk?
18:12
Like, there's something about like a young drunk woman being
18:14
on stage that's not acceptable. But any of my guy friends, I
18:17
mean like one of the, like, lead auctioneers from Christie's, you
18:20
have a Tumblr of whiskey, like as he was walking into the sale
18:23
room to call it with his nerves. But I never felt like I could do
18:26
that because I just felt like the optics on that were
18:28
completely different. So I think all of those things
18:31
just fed into my impostor syndrome, some of it definitely
18:34
in my head, some of it said out loud.
18:36
So I knew that I wasn't the only one thinking it.
18:38
But ultimately what's happened over the past two decades is I'm
18:42
confident in what I do. I know I'm one of the best at
18:46
what I do, and therefore I don't really think anymore about
18:49
anyone else or what they think about my performance.
18:51
If I get off stage and it didn't go well, I already know it.
18:54
I know exactly what went wrong. I know exactly what I can
18:57
correct the next time, and I think to myself like.
18:59
OK, so next time if I lose the crowd, what should I do?
19:02
Like what? For my toolbox of 20 years of,
19:04
you know, 20,000 hours being on stage?
19:07
Should I pull out? But it's like anything you know,
19:11
you practice and you practice and keep improving, and over
19:14
time you learn the shortcuts and you get better.
19:18
I didn't realize there's such an underlying gender discrimination
19:22
and gap in the auctioneering world, but I think that makes
19:25
sense. If you really think about it,
19:29
because I think something you've been talking about in this
19:32
conversation is such an interesting theme, is that
19:35
auctioneers really make all the difference in charity auctions,
19:37
right. This is something where you need
19:39
to push above the value. This is not necessarily, this
19:41
can be reselled to appreciate over the years, this
19:43
experiences, whatnot. You're pushing up the value and
19:46
with the story of, oh, well, it's going to charity.
19:49
So that's one really, really key point here, is that auctioneers
19:52
make that value difference. So that's where you see the
19:56
value of a good versus. New or not so good an
19:59
auctioneer, but any. Going back to the gender
20:01
discrimination point was that because of how this works at the
20:05
highest levels and because of how heritage based these
20:08
organizations are and how the money and wealth is distributed
20:12
in certain types and demographics of people, you can
20:16
see how that can lead to gender discrimination.
20:20
I think that's so. Fascinating.
20:23
I mean, obviously. Think about the words that you
20:26
use to describe an auctioneer. You know, I say all the time
20:29
like I am not what people think of when they think of an
20:31
auctioneer. You know, commanding in charge,
20:35
like on state all of these words as I use them.
20:38
And even in my own mind, when I got to Christie's, there were
20:42
very few female auctioneers and they never took the top sales.
20:45
They were always sort of. You know, there was one amazing
20:47
auctioneer in LA named Andrea Fujinski, but I was based in New
20:50
York and so I rarely saw her and there was no social media at
20:53
that point. So you weren't watching other
20:54
people do what they do. You know, I think in the past
20:58
five years there have been real strides to get females on the
21:01
podium in the art auctioneering world.
21:04
And I will say without a doubt, the charity auctioneering world
21:08
I taught the class at Christie's for.
21:09
I mean, probably. 1012 years. And when I first started it was
21:14
all guys coming in and then by the end it was just as many
21:16
women, if not sometimes all women.
21:18
And I can say without any question that was because they
21:21
saw me going out to take charity auctions.
21:24
Like when as soon as social media started, I would get these
21:26
young women being like, Oh my God, I want to be an auction.
21:29
They would just text me or DM me, you know from internally at
21:32
Christie's or even externally there would be women who come up
21:34
and be like how do I do what you do?
21:37
Because again, I mean we all know this.
21:38
We talked about this endlessly that.
21:40
You you see something and you think you can do it, you know.
21:44
And whether or not you have the skills, just being able to see
21:46
someone do it makes you think that there's a chance that you
21:48
could be able to do it. And that has been an incredible
21:52
part of my job is is sort of blazing that path and seeing
21:55
young women and hearing them say like I could do this too.
21:59
But I mean as as recently as 2018 I was told that after and I
22:04
I was a year, it's got to be like 1819 at Christie as I'd
22:07
been the lead charity auction for.
22:09
Over a decade at that point. And I had this museum in in
22:14
Munich. They called Christie's in the
22:16
head of the Munich office to try to get an auctioneer.
22:19
And they called me from the Munich office to say, like, we
22:21
would love for you to come. You know, we know you're the top
22:23
auctioneer, especially for charities.
22:25
And so I was like, oh, yeah, that would be great.
22:28
And then I didn't hear from them for for a while.
22:30
And then she finally called me. It was like, I'm really sorry to
22:32
tell you this, but they, they told us they're worried you're
22:36
not going to be able to handle the crowd.
22:38
And I was sort of like, what? I mean, I take auctions every
22:42
single night in New York. And let me just tell you, no one
22:45
in New York cares if you're on stage.
22:48
They will talk the whole time. They have no, you know,
22:51
everybody here goes to galas a lot.
22:53
They don't think anything of talking right over the
22:55
auctioneer. I was like, I was trained in a
22:56
place with no mercy. Like, if anyone can command a
22:59
crowd, it is me. And I think I earlier that week
23:02
been on stage with Bruce Springsteen at Madison Square
23:04
Garden in front of 7000 people. And I was like.
23:07
Explain to me what I can't do. I am confused.
23:11
And, you know, they ended up coming to meet me.
23:13
They flew over from Munich to meet me and we had a great
23:16
meeting. And they were like, oh, okay, we
23:18
we feel good about this now. And I was like, this is crazy.
23:21
I can't believe what I can't believe.
23:23
You're articulating this to me, #1 but through that we're having
23:26
this conversation. And, you know, I got over there
23:28
and I'll never forget. The auction went so well.
23:31
And I finished, I was getting off stage and the head of the
23:33
museum said, Lydia, the only thing we can ask.
23:36
Is will you come back next year? And I smiled and I said, Yep,
23:40
we'll see. That is not a hard yes.
23:43
After this we will see. But I did go back next year and
23:47
I loved their team at the end of it.
23:49
But I still in 2018 I had I'd finished writing the most
23:53
powerful woman in the room as you.
23:54
It hadn't been launched yet but I will never forget that as long
23:56
as I live. Because just hearing somebody
23:58
say that out loud, I'm like if you don't even see concern that
24:00
you've just said that. You bring up so many really good
24:03
points here about one of the things kind of in story time to
24:06
touch upon here is the words you were using like commanding in
24:09
charge and I think you referenced it but just to fully
24:12
say it, it's those are very gendered words for some reason
24:18
history they are related to men with commanding in charge things
24:22
like that and. When we look at.
24:24
Language and we work at the ways we use words.
24:27
Very often did these words, when you even try to apply them to
24:31
women, can come off negatively, like commanding in charge and
24:35
things like that. And it's not just the stories we
24:38
tell ourselves, but when we phrase job descriptions, when we
24:39
talk about jobs, when we talk and when we we have to be very
24:42
deliberate in the words we use so that we are not perpetuating
24:46
this. So like even the words
24:48
commanding in charge, it's it's tough because part of me wants
24:52
to be like what's replace them, but a part of me wants to say,
24:54
oh, let's just talk about the more positively with women.
24:57
Do you find that in job descriptions and when you're
24:59
talking about auctioneering, trying to use your words in a
25:02
way that makes it more inclusive?
25:04
And how have you struggled with that?
25:06
That's such an interesting question.
25:08
You know, I when I wrote my book, my first book, the most
25:10
powerful woman in the room is you.
25:12
The tagline underneath is command an audience and sell
25:15
your way to success. And when I sold my second book
25:18
which is called Claim your Confidence, I told a friend of
25:21
mine the title and she said. Oh, I love that title.
25:25
She's like, I loved the most powerful woman in the room is
25:27
you. She's like, to be honest, not
25:29
everybody wants to be powerful, but everybody wants to be
25:32
confident. I always thought that comment
25:34
was really interesting because as if a woman couldn't take the
25:37
mantle of powerful or command. And I think you're right, it is,
25:41
it is a puzzle. As my my friend Genevieve often
25:43
says, it's a puzzle to be a woman because the word
25:46
confidence can be good or bad depending on how someone's using
25:50
it. Like, oh, she's very confident,
25:51
isn't she or. She's very confident, right?
25:55
You know, confidence in a guy is just confidence in a woman.
25:57
It can be, it can be used in a very negative way, you know.
26:02
Yeah. And I mean, I think, and I think
26:04
it's just be, it's about being more intentional, like how we
26:06
use words, how we talk about words de gender in words, trying
26:09
to use words that are less gendered.
26:11
And and I know how political and weird this can get, but I think
26:15
it's just about understanding that we are limiting ourselves
26:18
in these stories, like if we are telling stories about a job.
26:21
And we're limiting to one group of people You are.
26:25
There's so much talent that gets lost and so much growth that
26:27
gets lost. So I think the stories we tell
26:30
when we're recruiting and the stories we tell about certain
26:32
roles and the stories we tell about potential are so important
26:35
that we take the time to be intentional about it.
26:38
Yeah. And I think in addition to that,
26:41
you know, the other thing that we should all always think about
26:44
whenever we're describing something or thinking about
26:48
something is that. The same job can be done
26:51
differently. And it's not bad or good.
26:54
It's just different. You know, things in life don't
26:56
have to be black or white. They can just be completely
27:00
different. And I do think that that's
27:02
something that my mother has said ever since I was little.
27:05
She's British. And, you know, she would say
27:07
such a word. And we don't be like, that's so
27:08
weird that you say, you know, Jelly instead of jam.
27:12
And she would always say. It's not good or bad.
27:15
It's just different. And that's what I've always
27:17
said. Even as an auctioneer, I don't
27:19
take auctions like the guy auctioneers that I trained with
27:21
at all. We have a very different style.
27:23
I grew up in the South. It's all about you know you
27:26
catch more bees with honey. You will never hear me say
27:28
anything negative about anyone from stage I I use charm like a
27:33
shield and a sword in equal measure and.
27:37
The guys can't do that in the same way.
27:38
And they will admit that they're like they go after head to head
27:41
with a lot of the other guys in the audience.
27:42
I would never do that. You know what my approach is so
27:45
much more soft sell and just as effective.
27:47
So as I always say, it's not good or bad, it's just
27:49
different. And that can be done however you
27:52
want, in whatever language you want to do that.
27:54
And I think you can use those adjectives for good or for bad,
27:57
but I wish we would use them for good to describe people and not
28:01
be like she's commanding and have that be a negative, rather
28:05
like she's commanding. And have that be a.
28:08
Positive. Absolutely.
28:09
And I think claim your confidence, the title of your
28:13
book and your podcast itself is such a very interesting word
28:18
play in that sense. Because you know, so often when
28:21
we talk about confidence, we talk about how to become more
28:26
confident, how to gain confidence, I wondering, you
28:30
know, for you. How did you came up with this
28:33
title? What does it mean to claim or
28:36
confidence? What's the difference there?
28:38
Well, I believe that we are all born with confidence, but we
28:43
have to claim it like we all are born.
28:45
Some people tap into it earlier in their life.
28:47
They push themselves out of that box time and time again, and as
28:51
a result, they live a confident life.
28:53
And other people just have it sitting inside of them and
28:55
they're waiting. It's like waiting for you to
28:57
claim it, but you have to do it and no one else can do it.
29:01
And ultimately, I believe once you've claimed your confidence,
29:04
you'd never go back because you realize what life is like when
29:07
you're living in your truth and you're living the life you want
29:09
to live. Claim your confidence as a title
29:12
came about. Naming a book is one of the
29:15
hardest things you will ever do in your life.
29:17
I mean, it really is such a difficult thing to name a book.
29:20
I knew I wanted it to be confidence.
29:22
We had discussed the most confident woman in the room as
29:25
you and Simon Schuster was really worried about
29:27
Marketplace. Duplicity, where they'd be like,
29:30
wait, have I read that book? It sounds so much like a book
29:32
I've read. And as a result of that, I was
29:34
sort of left to the very last sort of week before it was due.
29:38
I was like, it has to be confidence.
29:40
I mean, we were all over the map.
29:41
I was asking every single person I knew, like something about
29:44
confidence. And I was sitting next to a
29:46
friend of mine at the beach, and I said, she's a lawyer and she's
29:50
just sharp as attack. My name's Jennifer Justice and
29:52
she's worked with like every major movie star you can
29:55
imagine. She's just like, so sharp.
29:57
And I said. It's a book on confidence.
30:00
I need a great title. She's like, it's Claim your
30:03
confidence. That's it.
30:06
You're right. It is it.
30:07
I love the alliteration. I love everything about it.
30:09
And that was really how it came to be.
30:11
So it's all Jennifer. But it's so funny how you know
30:15
when you finally hear it, you're like, that is the name of your.
30:17
That is the name of my book and when I do believe it.
30:21
When you hear it it it's something like the name of this
30:25
podcast was a very similar feeling for me.
30:28
And I was coming up with these titles and they're all pretty
30:30
terrible. And then Kevin turns to me and
30:32
says the linen student plastics high.
30:34
And that was it. It was done.
30:36
Like we would debate. I was debating titles like I had
30:39
ranks. I had, I don't even remember
30:40
half of them. They were all terrible.
30:41
And Kevin just said in it's done.
30:43
It wasn't the debate was done. I was curious about, you were
30:47
talking about how continuing doing the job while you're
30:49
pregnant, having kids. Your stories are obviously
30:52
changing a lot. And as an auctioneer.
30:54
You're playing this character that you've created that's so
30:57
personal to you, unlike if you're an actress or you're
30:59
playing a totally new character. It's nothing like you are
31:02
written by someone else. You're writing this character.
31:04
So did your storytelling style change?
31:07
Did your character change as you change?
31:09
How did? How did your kind of
31:11
auctioneering profile change? As you or it was it like, this
31:15
is me, It doesn't matter what's going on, this is where I am on
31:17
stage. No, my story totally changed
31:21
along with me. I mean, I'm such an open book,
31:23
which since I write books about my life, I guess is a good
31:26
thing. But certainly being on stage,
31:29
you know, as I said at the beginning, I was sort of going
31:31
out there. I didn't look like anyone else
31:32
out there at that point. I was so young and I had this
31:36
turning point about I was in my late 20s and I got up on stage
31:41
one night and I was really sick. I've been sick the whole day.
31:44
And I got up on stage and I got. Up to the podium.
31:47
And usually when you get to the podium, you get a big adrenaline
31:49
rush right before you go on, and that gives you the energy you
31:52
need, even if you're tired. And frankly, when I was
31:54
pregnant, it kind of brought me back to normal, but I felt so
31:56
horrible to stay. It kind of brought me back into
31:58
my normal personality. I have a really dry sense of
32:01
humor. I always have, and I love
32:03
cracking jokes because I just like to make people laugh and I
32:07
was about to start the first lot.
32:09
Which is the first item, which was a dinner at the home of one
32:13
of Christie's top clients. And it was a woman.
32:15
They have this beautiful art collection.
32:16
It was going to be a cocktail party and a dinner at her home.
32:19
You get to see her art collection.
32:20
And I remember looking down and realizing it was the same woman
32:24
I had been seated next to five years earlier when the guy I
32:27
thought I was going to marry dumped me out of left field.
32:30
And, you know, it was like one of those conversations.
32:31
So I was kind of like. But I love you.
32:33
And he was like, I have strong feelings for you too.
32:35
And I was like, oh, my, my heart is broken.
32:37
It was like my first big heartbreak and I had to go to
32:41
work the next morning. This had happened that night,
32:42
like late in the evening. And the next morning I went to
32:46
work and I was running the events department by that point
32:48
at Christie's. I think I was 26 at the time
32:51
and. And I sat down at lunch and I
32:54
just started sobbing. Like, we started talking.
32:56
And I was like, I don't know, I'm so sorry my boyfriend broke.
32:59
But, you know, it was just like such an early 20s, like, I just
33:01
can't even handle my life right now.
33:03
And she was so sweet. I mean, she dried my tears.
33:07
She gave me wine. She gave me chocolate.
33:08
I mean, she, I was in charge of the lunch.
33:10
And I was a disaster. And that's not my personality at
33:13
all, that she could not have been sweeter.
33:14
And so I stood on that stage and instead of standing up there in
33:18
my formal British art auctioneering persona, saying
33:21
something like, you know, good evening.
33:22
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a cocktail party and a dinner, and
33:25
there are 10 people, you know, bullet point, bullet point,
33:27
bullet point, bullet point. I went through the bullet points
33:29
and I said, you know, you're going to have a cocktail party,
33:32
a dinner for 10 people, a worldclass art collection.
33:34
But more importantly, I sat next to Jennifer when the man I
33:37
thought I was going to marry dumped me and she nursed me back
33:39
to health over the course of a meal.
33:41
So if you were seeing a therapist.
33:43
Skip going to see that therapist.
33:45
Give your money to the charity. Head over to Jennifer's house to
33:47
be patched up in no time. And the interesting thing about
33:50
being on stage when you make people laugh is it becomes
33:54
really addictive. And if you have a sense of humor
33:57
and you realize you can make people laugh, it is like.
34:00
All you want is that next, next laugh.
34:01
It's like a drug. You're just like, Oh my God, the
34:04
audience is paying attention for the first time in like 8 years
34:07
or six years or what? I mean, I had taken hundreds of
34:09
really mediocre auctions, and so to elicit that reaction was just
34:14
so amazing. And then I threw in another joke
34:16
and they kept the people. There was a man who literally
34:18
turned his chair around to me, which up until that point,
34:21
everyone would just turn their chairs away from me and so.
34:24
That was kind of when I realized that there was something funny
34:27
about a young 20 year old, 27 year old woman being on stage in
34:30
a job that was not meant for her.
34:32
And I really leaned into it. You know, it's like stories of
34:35
things that I had done the night before and why that was the
34:37
reason you shouldn't do this. Or like, you know, definitely do
34:40
not hit the senior frog slide in Mexico because that doesn't go
34:44
well. But that won't be your
34:45
experience because you're going to be staying at a luxury home
34:48
and the more obscure and kind of funny and related to me.
34:51
The more people laughed. And so I realized that that was
34:55
just for me going to be my style moving forward.
34:57
And, you know, you talk about the pregnancies.
34:59
I mean, I would get on stage and say to the people sitting in the
35:01
audience, ladies and gentlemen, who is more uncomfortable right
35:04
now? Is it you or is it me?
35:07
Because I think I'm going to the hospital pretty soon, so you
35:09
might as well give me all your money so I can get off the
35:11
stage. I mean, you've never seen
35:13
results like I got after those auctions.
35:15
It was unbelievable. But again, you know, even to
35:18
this day, I mean, I have three kids and half the time I'll be
35:20
like, OK, ladies and gentlemen. This is going to be over really
35:23
quickly, except if you don't bid, in which case I'll stay
35:25
here all night because my kids are all up right now and I do
35:28
not want to go home and put them to bed.
35:29
So I have nothing mid time, you know.
35:32
So I'll have people who come up to me year after year and be
35:35
like, Oh my God, how's your baby?
35:36
You were up here pregnant last year.
35:37
Like, Oh my gosh, how was your five year old?
35:39
You mentioned last year she like, had an accident.
35:41
And you know, and I'm like, did I?
35:43
I don't remember. But I don't know.
35:45
People like being part of the journey, you know, they like
35:47
then honestly, people just like to laugh, especially at a part
35:49
of the evening, which they usually.
35:51
Dread, right? So when I come out there and
35:54
it's like meant to be fun, they are there for the ride.
35:59
I love the juxtaposition of like this is a really fancy arch and
36:03
house. This is a well known historic
36:05
brand. But I'm going to tell you this
36:06
kind of fun little weekend story for my life and I love that,
36:09
especially in the early years of your career where you were a
36:12
young woman. Working in this field of a lot
36:15
of like older people with money and history and heritage and
36:19
like this is the stories of from my 20s and you created that
36:22
brand and that connection. That's sales.
36:24
You know, it's about the human connection.
36:27
People always miss that in sales.
36:28
You know, I teach all these classes and do all these
36:30
speeches on sales. And what I always say to people
36:32
is like, people love funny, interesting people.
36:37
And if you are funny and interesting, then sales should
36:40
be your job. Because at the end of the day,
36:42
if you can find a human connection with anyone like
36:45
that, you can sell something to them.
36:47
Because going back to what you said at the beginning of this
36:49
podcast, it's about trust, right?
36:57
To be mindful every time we have this closing segment called
37:01
suspenders. It works like this.
37:03
We ask you a fun, random question that's unrelated to
37:06
anything whatsoever, and you can give us any answer you feel
37:09
like. Okay.
37:12
Question of the day is what is the most unique or meaningful
37:16
gift you've ever received? That's a really good one.
37:23
Well, I'm going to offend about 1000 people right now because I
37:26
feel like all of my friends are really good gift gifts.
37:30
But. I just spent an entire hour with
37:33
one of my best friends, Mary Giuliani, who's an amazing gift
37:35
giver. And when I was writing my first
37:37
book, she came in and gave me a notebook and said to me she had
37:42
read somewhere that this famous author always carried a notebook
37:46
around so that if something came to her mind, she would
37:49
immediately scribble it down. So she bought a notebook.
37:52
And I still have that notebook from my first book where half of
37:55
the things, including the entire introduction, which I wrote
37:58
after a spin class in my friend's car, I was like, don't
38:02
talk to me, inspiration to the struck, and I just wrote the
38:05
whole thing in one sitting. And it ended up being the
38:07
introduction to my book, and it is almost word for word as to
38:11
what I wrote in that notebook. So things like that.
38:14
You can't put a price on that kind of gift giving.
38:16
And that ability to do it is it's something that I do not, I
38:20
do not have that skill set. So I am such an admirer of
38:22
people who are good gift givers. Awesome.
38:26
No, I love that. I love.
38:27
I love weird. And a meaningful gift.
38:29
That's such a meaningful gift for me.
38:31
I'm gonna go with a weird one. Most unique one.
38:35
Kevin knows the story, but for a Secret Santa a few years back
38:38
Kevin and I were in. I got a 1 foot tall doll version
38:43
of one of my women's. Yeah, so.
38:48
It's so weird. It's somewhere around here.
38:51
It's like this big. It's like a complete version of
38:54
him in the outfit he always wears.
38:57
To this day, we have no idea why.
39:00
Give me like 30 seconds. I don't know who that person is,
39:06
but I would like their number because that's the kind of gift
39:08
giving icon to find. Yeah, it is.
39:11
Yeah, I haven't 2 feet. I don't think that's one, but it
39:17
looks like a child. Creepy.
39:19
It's super creepy. And just for people, let's stay
39:22
at home. The reason I was able to find it
39:24
so fast is my apartment's very small.
39:26
It's not just I had it on hand, but I saw it in my closet.
39:29
It's in the top of my apartment, but yeah.
39:32
Yeah, it's very weird. Very weird.
39:35
But anyways, thank you so much for joining us.
39:39
That was a little fun way to end it.
39:41
Really, really appreciate your time.
39:43
This was so interesting. No, I loved it.
39:46
Thank you so much for having me. I've really enjoyed being on
39:48
your podcast. I enjoyed listening to your
39:50
podcast. So looking forward to your
39:52
continued success. Thank you.
39:55
Yeah. Claim your confidence Out
39:57
everywhere. March 21st.
40:00
The book. The podcast.
40:02
Yeah, you'll love it. Go buy it.
40:03
Listen. Welcome back to Top Hat.
40:15
This is the part of the episode where we worked to dissect some
40:19
of the epic learnings we got from this week's Expert
40:22
Storyteller. And this week we had the amazing
40:25
auctioneer Lydia Finnette. You know what I loved about
40:29
Lydia? Was.
40:31
She personified authenticity and curiosity, which is 2 huge parts
40:37
of story time we've explored in this show.
40:40
Curiosity especially recently. We've really that's been coming
40:43
up a lot for us, a lot of different guests when talking
40:45
about the power of curiosity and authenticity has come up since
40:49
like our very first episodes and it talks about this idea of you
40:55
can have role models, you can admire fans and other people
40:58
but. Trying to copy that exactly, and
41:01
like, use their mannerisms and use their stance and trying to
41:06
be them. You will always be a discount
41:08
version. Because authenticity is the key
41:11
to storytelling. It's the key to connecting.
41:13
There's something innate about humans where if you're
41:16
authentic, you can unlock a lot of amazing things.
41:20
And one of those things you unlocked is confidence, right?
41:24
She would get up there and she wouldn't be.
41:27
Like every other man or every other person who was the
41:31
auctioneer before her, she would be authentically her.
41:35
She would provide her unique opinion because that's what she
41:37
could be best in the world in, right?
41:39
And that would allow her to be unique, That would allow her to
41:42
connect with the audience members and create a story and
41:46
create a brand around herself. So now when she's up there,
41:49
she's telling her stories and people recognize and people see
41:52
her brand and people connect with her stories.
41:54
This is who I am right now. I'm pregnant.
41:58
I'm uncomfortable. I went drinking with the girls
42:01
last weekend. Any of these stories that a lot
42:04
of people say, oh, I would never say that.
42:06
Of course you wouldn't. You're not her.
42:08
But she was out to worth them into her brand and build a lot
42:11
of authenticity and a lot of confidence in that storytelling.
42:16
Yeah, I think Lydia's career journey, especially the process
42:21
of her. Finding her own kind of persona
42:26
as an auctioneer really embodies, of course,
42:29
authenticity, and it shows the power of stories, right?
42:33
We talked about how the night that everything clicked for her
42:39
as an auctioneer, the night where she stopped trying to act
42:44
like all the other auctioneers and show up as herself, is when
42:48
she let off the auction with a story with a very relatable.
42:53
Very personal story that was totally off the rails from like
42:57
a more conventional point of view, but that that worked for
43:02
that auction and that has been working for Lydia's career ever
43:06
since. Of course, we've talked
43:09
extensively about how storytelling is in fact
43:13
impactful or auctions, charity auctions in particular, and
43:19
Lydia's story. Is another great example of the
43:23
power of storytelling. Yeah.
43:25
And I mean, this is sales, right?
43:27
And we've talked to people in sales before and how important
43:30
storytelling is. And when she's talking about
43:32
charity auctions and selling things that people necessarily
43:35
don't want to buy at that price, right, And pinning bidders
43:38
against each other and connecting with them and telling
43:40
them this story. It's not just a house in the
43:43
mountains. It's a weekend getaway.
43:46
It's this grandiose moment. It's something you.
43:49
It's something you want, you want to be a part of.
43:51
She is telling the story of this experience.
43:53
Sales is not about selling a product, it's about making you
43:56
want the experience. And that can connect to so many
44:00
different storytelling elements. So.
44:01
I also really love that part of the.
44:03
Conversation where she's like they don't want to pay this
44:05
price for this item. Yes, it's for charity.
44:07
But they don't inherently want to pay this price for this item.
44:10
So you have to build an experience.
44:12
You have to get them excited about it.
44:14
It's not the product that they get excited about.
44:16
It's the power of the storytelling of the auctioneer.
44:19
And that applies to so many things, whether you are in an
44:23
interview, when you're trying to get them excited about you, any
44:26
sort of pitch at work or any sort of presentation.
44:28
You're not just telling them the idea, you're selling them on it,
44:31
you're convincing them that they need it, right.
44:34
So I think. Her being authentic on one hand,
44:37
and being like this is who I am. Connecting with the person,
44:40
making them trust you and then using that to create an
44:43
experience, to create a story around the products.
44:47
It's just so many different types of storytelling and it
44:49
goes so hand in hand. So it's about being authentic,
44:52
creating that trust, creating that connection, being confident
44:56
in who you are, and then using that to create a story around
45:00
something around the product and convince someone that they want
45:03
to be a part of it, right. It's it's quite beautiful if you
45:07
really think about it and it's really exciting to see to hear
45:10
Lydia and how she's used that to sell all these.
45:14
Really interesting things through her career.
45:17
To humanize and make these things more relatable and
45:22
personal. That's what story telling is all
45:25
about. This has been another great
45:28
episode of the Linux Student Plastic Tie Podcast.
45:31
If you like our content, make sure to subscribe and follow us
45:35
wherever you listen. Leave us a comment and review to
45:38
let us know what you're thinking.
45:40
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Lsptpod, LinkedIn
45:46
Linux Student, Plastic Tie. Thanks so much for listening
45:49
guys. We.
45:50
There's so much amazing content out there, so many different
45:53
types of storytelling, that every minute you spend listening
45:56
to us is a gift and we really appreciate it and we're here
45:59
working to make it worthwhile. You dedicated some time to
46:03
become a better storyteller today, and that's amazing and
46:06
that's awesome and good for you. We love you.
46:09
Have a good one.