Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / BREAK FREE From What's Been CONTROLLING Your LIFE! (S5) S42:E3 Monday

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BREAK FREE From What's Been CONTROLLING Your LIFE! (S5) S42:E3 Monday · Inspirations for Your Life

• 0:23
  Well there, hello everyone and welcome to the
• 0:26
  ever-popular Inspirations for Your Life show.
• 0:30
  It is so great to be with you
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  here today.
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  If this is the very first time that
• 0:35
  you are joining me, I'd like to take
• 0:37
  the opportunity to say thank you and I'd
• 0:40
  like to say the words welcome to you.
• 0:42
  Yes, I do definitely want to say welcome
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  to you.
• 0:45
  If you've been here one time, five times,
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  a hundred or maybe even more, I'd like
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  to say welcome and I'd also like to
• 0:52
  say thank you and I want to say
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  the words welcome back.
• 0:57
  It's always great to have people that enjoy
• 0:59
  the quality and content of the show that
• 1:02
  I produce here on the show.
• 1:04
  So very great to have everyone here.
• 1:07
  I thank you so much for choosing to
• 1:09
  be here with me.
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  It is an exciting time and we have
• 1:14
  another excellent, excellent master topic that I know
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  you are just going to love so very,
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  very much.
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  But before I do that, ladies and gentlemen,
• 1:22
  I want to invite you to check out
• 1:24
  BelieveMeAchieved.com.
• 1:25
  That is after this show is over, you
• 1:29
  can visit BelieveMeAchieved.com and you can get
• 1:32
  so much great insights of everything that I
• 1:37
  do from short form content to long form
• 1:39
  content.
• 1:41
  And I think that's something that's really, really
• 1:43
  cool.
• 1:44
  So you're definitely going to want to check
• 1:46
  that out as soon as you can.
• 1:48
  And let's go ahead, ladies, gentlemen, and kick
• 1:51
  this show off.
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  All right.
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  So we'll do that in just a minute.
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  And I want to let you know that
• 1:58
  if you're thirsty, if you're hungry, feel free
• 2:00
  to grab some RO water.
• 2:01
  I have RO water here with lemon and
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  it is very, very good.
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  Fresh with the fresh lemon, it's a great
• 2:09
  refreshing thing.
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  You don't have to do it just on
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  a hot day, you can do it on
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  a cool day.
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  Lemon is good for the body.
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  I know it refreshes you in a lot
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  of different ways.
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  So this topic this week is a very
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  interesting one, I think one that a lot
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  of us don't realize, but it's one that's
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  very, very important to us.
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  And we're definitely going to dive very, very
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  deep into this topic, because I think this
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  topic is something that a lot of us,
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  you know, we hear about, but then we
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  say, oh, you know, I'm not going to
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  bother with it.
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  I'm not going to deal with it.
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  So let's go ahead, guys.
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  If you're ready, I know I am.
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  Let's kick this show off.
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  So break free from what's been controlling your
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  life.
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  Series 5, show 42, episode number 3.
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  Yes, guys, it is a Monday, it is
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  October 12th, 2026.
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  And welcome to the ever-popular inspirations for
• 3:01
  your life show.
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  I'm John Seymour, serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist,
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  video producer, podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, passionate
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  lifelong learner, graduate student at Montclair State University,
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  and so grateful now to be a published
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  author.
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  Our weekly journey is Stop Waiting for a
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  Sign.
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  Your freedom starts with action.
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  Saturday, we learn to recognize what holds us
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  back.
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  Sunday, we learn to choose our own direction.
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  Today, we break free.
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  We break free.
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  We raise a powerful question.
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  If freedom is available, why do we keep
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  returning to what restricts us?
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  Here are 30 ways to turn the questions
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  that we often have in life into serious
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  action.
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  Are you ready?
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  All right.
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  Number one, freedom begins when you recognize what
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  has power over you.
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  Maybe it's fear, it's the need for approval,
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  or an old routine.
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  Name the influence before you try to change
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  it, and I think you'll get a different
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  perspective.
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  You might decide that you don't want to
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  change it.
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  You might decide that you're happy with it
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  and have learned that it could be a
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  big help to you in your life.
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  So I think that's a very important one.
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  Number two, guys, not every restriction comes from
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  someone else.
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  Sometimes the rules holding us back are rules
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  we've quietly imposed on ourselves without even us
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  being aware of it.
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  Number three, old habits can become invisible chains.
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  Repeating a behavior for years doesn't make it
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  helpful.
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  Familiarity can disguise its coat.
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  And I think we don't pay attention to
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  this unless we're actually in it.
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  You know, like we're in the rain, we're
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  in the storm.
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  That's when it becomes apparent to us.
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  Understanding these things is key, okay?
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  And it's key, it's really key.
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  Number four, stop confusing your history with your
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  identity.
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  What happened before may shape your experience, but
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  it doesn't have to dictate who you become
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  in life.
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  I think a lot of people said, well,
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  you know, this is the only way you're
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  going to do something.
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  No, guys, it's not the only way.
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  It's just one way you could do something.
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  I think that's an important piece that a
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  lot of people don't really understand.
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  And they realize that, well, wait a minute,
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  maybe there is more to this than I
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  actually thought.
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  Just maybe there's more to it, right?
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  Maybe.
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  And that maybe might just be what leads
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  you to success.
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  Number five, recognize the beliefs that keep you
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  feeling powerless.
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  Challenge statements like, I never succeed with evidence.
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  Not automatic agreement, okay?
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  Under the freedom includes responsibility.
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  We have to know that.
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  Choosing your direction also means owning your actions
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  and their consequences so you can celebrate the
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  good and the bad.
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  So if you do something good, great, celebrate
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  it.
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  But if you do something that causes harm,
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  either intentionally or not intentionally, you need to
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  also be accountable for that.
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  I know most people may do it, of
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  course, unintentionally, which is what I hope, not
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  intentionally, but you still got to be responsible
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  for that, right?
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  Number seven, guys, release the need to control
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  every outcome.
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  You can prepare, act thoughtfully, and respond well
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  without controlling everything that follows it.
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  Number eight, stop returning to patterns simply because,
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  well, they're comfortable, they're familiar.
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  The comfortable choice may not help you grow.
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  And I said this before.
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  Success does not begin where it's comfy, where
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  it's warm, where it's cool.
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  No, it starts where it's a little hard,
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  where it's a little confusing, where it might
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  be rough, where it is a little uncomfortable.
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  I didn't say painful.
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  I just said the word uncomfortable.
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  So stop returning to those patterns.
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  Number nine, identify one unhealthy habit you're ready
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  to challenge.
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  Be specific about it.
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  A clearly named habit is easier to address
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  than a vague wish to improve one.
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  So when we get specific about something and
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  we talk about it, it's like, oh, wait
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  a minute.
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  And now it's not just something that's a
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  verb or a noun.
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  It actually has a place in our life,
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  and I think that's very, very important.
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  Number 10, replace automatic reactions with intentional responses.
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  Give yourself a moment to decide how you
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  want to respond instead of repeating yesterday's reflex.
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  And reflex is happy, like, oh, I guess
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  I don't need to think.
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  Wrong.
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  But if you keep doing that, your mind's
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  going to be like, I'm not thinking.
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  You're right.
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  So you got to break that pattern.
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  Number 11, guys, recognize when guilt is keeping
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  you stuck.
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  Healthy remorse can guide repair, but endless guilt
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  can keep you from the next constructive step,
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  okay?
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  Learn from mistakes without living inside them.
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  Take the lesson.
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  Make amends when needed.
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  And refuse to play the same moment forever.
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  That's key, guys.
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  You don't need to be a martyr, guys.
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  You need to live life, and you need
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  to make changes that can make a big
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  difference for you and others, okay?
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  I think that's a key piece, right?
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  And if we understand that, we can make
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  a lot of changes.
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  And hopefully, that means that you know what's
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  going on in your life, and you know
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  that you can make changes, right?
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  You know that you can make those changes
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  in your life every single day.
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  So learn from mistakes without living inside them.
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  Take the lesson.
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  Make amends where needed.
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  And refuse to replay the same moment, as
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  I said, forever.
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  I want to repeat that for you.
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  Number 13, stop allowing embarrassment to prevent growth.
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  Learning often requires being seen before you're polished.
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  Don't let that stop you from going on
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  stage or getting out in the world.
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  I think that's an important one, guys.
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  Number 14, understand the personal freedom of you
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  requires healthy boundaries.
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  Protect your time, your values, and well-being
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  with clear expectations.
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  Say no when saying yes would violate your
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  priorities.
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  A respectful no can create room for the
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  commitments that truly matter to you.
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  But I know when you start, you'll be
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  like, oh, John, you know, I don't know
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  what I want to do.
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  I have no idea what I really want
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  to do, right?
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  You have no idea.
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  But what would the idea be if you
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  did?
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  Number 16, stop carrying responsibilities that don't belong
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  to you.
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  You can care about people without owning every
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  problem they face.
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  That's a key, guys.
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  Number 17, recognize that independence does not mean
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  isolation.
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  Freedom doesn't require doing everything alone or refusing
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  every helping hand.
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  That's key, guys.
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  Very, very key.
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  Number 18, seek support without surrendering your choices.
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  Ask for perspective, consider good advice, and remain
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  accountable for your own decisions.
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  Not because you're trying to put a show
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  on, but because you're trying to do the
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  right thing in life.
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  I think sometimes when we try to do
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  the right thing, it causes some challenges.
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  It does cause some challenges.
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  And those challenges will sometimes get us to
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  walk away from the fire instead of to
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  walk through it or to use it to
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  our best advantage.
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  Number 19, guys, permit yourself to develop new
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  beliefs.
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  New knowledge can change how you see yourself
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  and what's really possible in our world.
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  I think sometimes we get scared because we've
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  seen someone else have a challenge.
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  And we're not that person, OK?
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  We're not that person.
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  We're somebody else.
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  Invest in yourself.
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  I don't just mean financially.
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  I mean in your beliefs, guys.
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  You don't believe that can be a big
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  problem, right?
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  Believe, believe, believe, believe, believe.
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  Number 20, guys, please stop defining yourself by
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  someone else's expectations.
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  Listen with respect, yes.
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  OK?
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  But don't you dare let another person's preferences
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  become your entire identity.
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  I see this happen so much.
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  It happens a lot in grammar school.
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  It happens in high school.
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  It even happens in college.
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  People say, well, you know, if you do
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  this, then that's how you're going to be.
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  You're going to have to change if you
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  want to be someone.
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  That's very clever, a very bad manipulation.
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  And the sad part is people fall for
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  it.
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  And then you're saying, well, what else do
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  I have to do?
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  I don't have any choices.
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  You have a choice to not choose.
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  What do I mean by that?
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  You have a choice to not act.
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  And not just waiting around for something else.
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  See, people prey on innocent victims.
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  It's not nice, but they do it.
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  And the reason they do it is because
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  they're hoping to cash in on you.
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  Really bad, really terrible.
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  Number 21, recognize that breaking free may feel
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  uncomfortable.
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  New boundaries and behaviors can feel unfamiliar, even
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  when they're healthy, guys.
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  They're healthy.
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  So number 22, create distance from influences that
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  reinforce harmful patterns.
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  That might mean simply adjusting your environment, routines,
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  or access to distractions.
• 14:09
  That might be limiting or making sure someone
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  else stays out of your energy or your
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  life.
• 14:18
  You don't have to be rude about it,
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  but you can make this choice.
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  And no one can stop you from making
• 14:24
  that choice, guys.
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  No one.
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  So don't think that just because you're starting,
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  you don't have a chance.
• 14:34
  Everyone who's ever been someone, ever did something,
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  ever achieved something, they had to start somewhere.
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  Before people take a step, you have to
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  take the first one.
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  And I know the first one is extremely,
• 14:49
  extremely scary.
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  It's extremely scary.
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  But I think it's one that a lot
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  of people don't realize in life.
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  But we've got to take that step, that
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  step that's going to say, wait a minute.
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  I have more power than I thought was
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  possible.
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  And then you start to build this wall
• 15:10
  of real confidence that you can achieve anything.
• 15:14
  And it's that energy, it's that spirit, it's
• 15:17
  that drive that gets you to be in
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  alignment with the things you need, whether that's
• 15:21
  energy, whether that's people, whether it's knowledge.
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  It comes to you.
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  Number 22, create what you need and replace
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  the one limiting routine with a constructive action.
• 15:42
  Don't only remove the old behaviors.
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  Decide what useful action will be taken as
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  place, number 23.
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  Number 24, understand that lasting change takes repetition.
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  One good decision matters.
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  But repeated decisions build a new pattern you
• 16:02
  can rely upon also.
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  So that can change your whole trajectory.
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  That could change your belief in life.
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  That could change whether you believe you could
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  do something or not.
• 16:19
  And we've said before, like Henry Ford has
• 16:21
  said, if you believe you can, you're right.
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  If you believe you're wrong, you're also right.
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  That's key, guys.
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  It's very key.
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  And we know, ladies and gentlemen, that this
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  is so powerful.
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  Number 25, don't confuse one setback with losing
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  your freedom.
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  An interruption is a moment, like a bump
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  in the road.
• 16:54
  It's not a life sentence.
• 16:55
  So choose your next response.
• 17:00
  And be aware of the environment.
• 17:06
  Be aware of the environment.
• 17:10
  Be aware of the environment.
• 17:13
  Protect the progress you've already made.
• 17:16
  And notice what helps you stay on course.
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  And make those supports part of everyday lives.
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  Number 27, guys, celebrate decisions that reflect your
• 17:28
  own inner core values.
• 17:31
  Recognize the quiet wins, especially when doing the
• 17:35
  right thing wasn't easy.
• 17:37
  I've said this before.
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  You build character in private.
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  And that develops into your reputation in public.
• 17:50
  Number 28, recognize freedom as something you practice
• 17:53
  daily.
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  It lives in your schedule, your boundaries, responses,
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  and the choices you make each day.
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  Not just in the dramatic declarations that you
• 18:04
  make when you think you need to.
• 18:06
  Number 29, choose one action that demonstrates greater
• 18:12
  independence.
• 18:14
  Make the call.
• 18:15
  Set the boundary.
• 18:16
  Or take the first responsible step yourself.
• 18:20
  Don't wait for somebody else.
• 18:25
  Don't wait for somebody else.
• 18:27
  Because when you take the steps yourself, it's
• 18:29
  like, oh, wait a minute.
• 18:31
  I get this.
• 18:32
  I understand this.
• 18:34
  But I know that it can get a
• 18:36
  lot of people to be frustrated.
• 18:41
  It can get people to feel very, very
• 18:43
  frustrated.
• 18:46
  Frustrated because you don't necessarily know where you're
• 18:50
  going, what you're doing.
• 18:54
  That's important, guys.
• 18:58
  Very, very, very important.
• 19:03
  And that little difference can make, well, the
• 19:08
  difference between you being a success and you
• 19:12
  sitting on the bench.
• 19:15
  Nobody wants to sit on the bench.
• 19:17
  But people only sit on the bench because
• 19:19
  they feel they're not worthy enough to get
• 19:21
  into the game.
• 19:22
  You're worthy.
• 19:22
  Everyone's worthy to play the game of life.
• 19:26
  Number 30, guys, stand firm in the freedom
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  you're working to create.
• 19:32
  Don't return automatically to what you worked so
• 19:36
  hard to leave behind.
• 19:39
  I mean, you might say, well, John, it's
• 19:41
  difficult today.
• 19:43
  It's hard.
• 19:45
  I don't know if I can go on.
• 19:51
  I can relate to that.
• 19:52
  I broke my TIB and FIB 10 years
• 19:54
  ago.
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  And breaking a TIB and FIB and having
• 19:59
  no one around.
• 20:01
  Now, no one close.
• 20:02
  Not that no one cared.
• 20:04
  But there was no one close.
• 20:05
  They were out of state.
• 20:08
  It was lonely.
• 20:09
  And it was also a moment where I
• 20:11
  was like, what's happening?
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  It was very surreal.
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  So stand firm.
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  You deserve that.
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  Don't just fall into the process.
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  Because when you do, you lose your intentionality,
• 20:34
  which won't operate on core values.
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  Which will block the potential of you becoming
• 20:42
  the next success.
• 20:45
  Ladies and gentlemen, I hope that's been very
• 20:47
  clear.
• 20:48
  But here's your Monday challenge.
• 20:50
  Are you ready for it?
• 20:52
  I know you are.
• 20:54
  Identify one pattern.
• 20:57
  You're ready to release.
• 20:58
  Then choose one healthier behavior to practice in
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  its place.
• 21:03
  Make their placement specific enough to try tomorrow.
• 21:06
  For example, maybe your challenge that you want
• 21:12
  to release is the fact that you always
• 21:15
  say yes to people.
• 21:17
  One thing you could do is think about
• 21:21
  the situation.
• 21:22
  Decide if you really want to do it.
• 21:24
  Or let them know that, hey, I need
• 21:26
  to think about it.
• 21:28
  Oh, we got to know.
• 21:29
  I'll let you know.
• 21:32
  Take back that power.
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  All right.
• 21:36
  Then choose that one healthy behavior to practice
• 21:40
  in its place.
• 21:41
  Make their placement specific enough to try tomorrow.
• 21:44
  Guess what, guys?
• 21:45
  Once you try this once, I guarantee you,
• 21:48
  you're going to want to try it again
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  and again and again and again.
• 21:52
  That behavior will become autonomous.
• 21:55
  But be intentional about the behaviors you wish
• 22:03
  to become automatic.
• 22:06
  This week, Saturday was we recognize.
• 22:09
  Sunday was choosing.
• 22:11
  Today, we broke free.
• 22:15
  Tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to stand
• 22:17
  firm together.
• 22:20
  Wednesday, we're going to trust.
• 22:24
  Thursday, we're going to rise again.
• 22:27
  And Friday, we are going to live free.
• 22:32
  A lot of you are probably saying, oh
• 22:33
  my gosh, John.
• 22:34
  This is a lot for one day.
• 22:40
  Nobody said you have to do all this
• 22:42
  at night or do all this in one
• 22:44
  day.
• 22:45
  Nobody said that.
• 22:47
  What I did say is you're going to
• 22:49
  take one consistent step at a time.
• 22:54
  Not five steps tomorrow, not 10 steps, two
• 22:58
  steps or three steps.
• 22:59
  You should take three steps every single day.
• 23:01
  That's probably the most important thing that I
• 23:03
  can share with you is to be consistent
• 23:06
  in everything you do.
• 23:09
  A wise person once said to me, John,
• 23:12
  I said, I didn't do anything.
• 23:14
  Yes, you did.
• 23:15
  You showed up.
• 23:17
  Showing up is 80% of success.
• 23:21
  Got to have a good attitude, which I
• 23:22
  do.
• 23:23
  So show up with an attitude, and you're
• 23:24
  already at 80%.
• 23:26
  The other 20% is just skill and
• 23:29
  opportunities and the environment.
• 23:33
  That's powerful, guys.
• 23:36
  And I know as you ponder this, you
• 23:39
  say, well, how do I break free from
• 23:40
  this change?
• 23:41
  How do I get my life back?
• 23:47
  How do I get off the merry-go
• 23:49
  -round that keeps spinning faster and faster and
• 23:52
  faster?
• 23:54
  How do I make my days go slower?
• 23:59
  The answer to that is become more intentional
• 24:01
  in everything you do.
• 24:04
  Savor the flavor of life.
• 24:06
  Savor the flavor of life.
• 24:08
  Because when you do, you can then choose
• 24:11
  to be in life, as opposed to just
• 24:14
  watching it.
• 24:15
  When we watch it, it goes by very,
• 24:17
  very fast.
• 24:18
  When we're in it and we're enjoying it,
• 24:21
  we can take our time.
• 24:23
  And we can make differences that people on
• 24:26
  the sidelines would be like, how did you
• 24:28
  do that?
• 24:31
  When you're intentional and that aligns with your
• 24:34
  core values, you're operating on a completely different
• 24:40
  level.
• 24:41
  One that is aware of the things around
• 24:47
  him or her.
• 24:50
  One that notices, is aware, and is able
• 24:54
  to just be ready to seize opportunity.
• 24:59
  The same opportunities out there exist for you
• 25:01
  and for me.
• 25:03
  There's a difference.
• 25:05
  Are you looking for the opportunities?
• 25:07
  Because they're there for you.
• 25:09
  They're knocking on your door.
• 25:11
  Are you going to answer the door?
• 25:13
  Or are you going to say, oh, I'm
• 25:14
  in the shower.
• 25:15
  Or no, I'm having dinner.
• 25:17
  Or oh, I'm with a friend.
• 25:21
  That knock may come once.
• 25:25
  Now, you might say, the door will show
• 25:28
  up twice.
• 25:32
  But here's the catch.
• 25:34
  If the door should show up a second
• 25:36
  time, don't expect to get in because you
• 25:40
  probably won't.
• 25:41
  The door, if it shows up a second
• 25:42
  time, will be locked.
• 25:46
  Will be locked.
• 25:47
  So the door is here.
• 25:49
  It's right in front of you.
• 25:50
  And it is open right now.
• 25:53
  Go in.
• 25:55
  If you wait, the door will be gone.
• 25:59
  And then it might turn up again.
• 26:01
  And what it does, you're going to be
• 26:02
  like, oh, I can't get in.
• 26:08
  Opportunity knocks once.
• 26:11
  Will you be the victim saying, why didn't
• 26:17
  I open that door?
• 26:19
  I was too busy.
• 26:20
  I was too preoccupied.
• 26:24
  Everybody does this.
• 26:25
  And then they wonder what's going to happen
• 26:27
  or what's going to go on.
• 26:28
  And it's like, I don't know.
• 26:31
  I figured opportunity would knock twice.
• 26:34
  It doesn't always.
• 26:37
  And when it knocks a second time, even
• 26:39
  if that door gets open, it'll become 10
• 26:44
  times or 100 times harder to walk through
• 26:48
  it.
• 26:51
  I think that's something I want you to
• 26:52
  ponder today.
• 26:55
  So tomorrow, you can hopefully take these steps
• 26:58
  that I've shared with you.
• 26:59
  You could choose to implement them in your
• 27:01
  own personal and business life.
• 27:02
  Tomorrow, yes, when the sun comes out.
• 27:07
  But the sun only comes out, regardless of
• 27:11
  the weather, when we choose to be intentional
• 27:15
  and to act from our core values, not
• 27:20
  from the Joneses, not from the Marksons, not
• 27:22
  from the Wagners, not from the bandwagon techniques.
• 27:29
  Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John C.
• 27:32
  Morley.
• 27:32
  I thank you so much for choosing to
• 27:34
  join me on another empowering episode of Inspirations
• 27:37
  for Your Life.
• 27:38
  Remember, ladies and gentlemen, freedom isn't only a
• 27:42
  feeling or a wish.
• 27:44
  It's a choice that you keep practicing.
• 27:51
  As my book, Drained and Driven says, stay
• 27:55
  driven, keep growing.
• 27:57
  And you know what, ladies and gentlemen, I'm
• 27:58
  gonna see you on another episode real soon.
• 28:01
  Be sure to check out BelieveMeAchieved.com for
• 28:02
  more of my amazing, inspiring creations.
• 28:04
  Be well, everyone.