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Bonus IMPROV - I Don't Want a Meal On Me! · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  all right let's do some improv joe can we get a suggestion
• 0:17
  your suggestion is sluts
• 0:22
  okay art imitating life that is such a fun word to say do you ever say it like this
• 0:32
  no like sean connery oh yeah uh no i don't usually when i say it i say it like sluts
• 0:40
  i said it three times on the way here really yeah so either when i'm in traffic it's either like sir
• 0:47
  or sluts.
• 0:51
  Sometimes the sir is me.
• 0:53
  You say sir to yourself
• 0:54
  when you're driving?
• 0:55
  If I cut it a little close,
• 0:57
  I'm like, hit the brake,
• 0:57
  I'm like, sir!
• 0:58
  But I'm talking to myself.
• 1:00
  You afford yourself
• 1:02
  a certain amount of respect
• 1:03
  that you don't afford
• 1:04
  the other drivers on the road.
• 1:05
  Yes.
• 1:07
  Thank you.
• 1:08
  Yeah.
• 1:08
  They're sluts.
• 1:09
  Yeah.
• 1:10
  I am sir.
• 1:14
  I'm going to get a t-shirt made with that.
• 1:16
  They're sluts.
• 1:17
  I am sir. Or like
• 1:19
  you're my slut, I'm your sir.
• 1:22
  Slut sir.
• 1:23
  Big sir slut. California.
• 1:27
  Yeah, how come there isn't a city named Big
• 1:29
  Sir Slut?
• 1:31
  We could buy a town.
• 1:33
  Okay.
• 1:35
  I've always wanted to name a bunch of streets.
• 1:37
  Bumper Boulevard being one of the names?
• 1:39
  Yes, of course. Bumper Boulevard.
• 1:42
  Do you have any other street without giving
• 1:45
  too much away? Although this is for subscribers
• 1:47
  only so uh they'll keep it in the family they won't steal your street name ideas maybe something
• 1:53
  like i don't know like mm-hmm just just like noises yeah
• 2:00
  avenue whoa circle yeah yeah um yeah i think that would be a fun place to live
• 2:13
  You would invest in that?
• 2:15
  In that town?
• 2:16
  Yeah.
• 2:16
  In buying that town?
• 2:17
  Yeah.
• 2:18
  Yeah, sure.
• 2:19
  Okay.
• 2:21
  We'll do it.
• 2:22
  Then we be neighbors and our wall will have a door Oh nice Like a hotel Yeah Oh like directly Not just like a gate in between the two of our places It house to house Yeah Okay
• 2:34
  I want to hear you go meow at the door and maybe like, kitty wants to come in.
• 2:42
  How did you know I do that at my door?
• 2:44
  I know things about you.
• 2:47
  There's no secrets between us.
• 2:49
  No.
• 2:50
  And now, improv.
• 2:54
  Hey, Becky.
• 2:59
  Yeah?
• 3:00
  I got a new tattoo.
• 3:02
  Oh my god.
• 3:03
  Yeah.
• 3:03
  Show me.
• 3:04
  Okay, hold on.
• 3:05
  I gotta take my pants off.
• 3:06
  Oh.
• 3:07
  Oh.
• 3:08
  There it is.
• 3:10
  Says slap.
• 3:14
  Oh my god.
• 3:16
  Kirsten.
• 3:17
  Yeah?
• 3:18
  You love it?
• 3:19
  Have you actually looked at it?
• 3:22
  No.
• 3:22
  Have you seen it?
• 3:23
  Hold on, I'm trying right now. I'm turning.
• 3:26
  My neck just doesn't go.
• 3:29
  It doesn't say sluts.
• 3:33
  What?
• 3:34
  No.
• 3:35
  What does it say?
• 3:38
  It says slots.
• 3:43
  Slots?
• 3:43
  Like the machines?
• 3:46
  Like the machines.
• 3:49
  and not only that
• 3:51
  around your sweet sweet ass
• 3:55
  there's a
• 4:02
  tattoo of a slot machine
• 4:06
  what
• 4:07
  no
• 4:09
  is that what you told the guy
• 4:12
  no I said slots
• 4:14
  and I said I'm a machine
• 4:16
  oh my god kirsten what do i do what do i do i don't know i don't know if this is fixable
• 4:25
  rub it off will it come off it's so new no it doesn't work i'm rubbing
• 4:30
  i'm rubbing so hard oh oh by the way your ass is amazing thank you
• 4:41
  with my sweet, sweet ass.
• 4:43
  What do I do?
• 4:44
  I have a date later.
• 4:46
  And if he comes over and finds out I'm a gambler.
• 4:50
  Are you a gambler?
• 4:51
  He gonna think so And he not gonna believe but I a slut He just I know He just be putting quarters down your ass
• 5:05
  Run your sweet, sweet ass.
• 5:07
  Yeah.
• 5:08
  What do I do?
• 5:11
  Maybe the tattoo artist
• 5:13
  can fix it.
• 5:14
  He's gone. He went to Jamaica.
• 5:16
  Well, let's get to Jamaica then.
• 5:19
  Can't you?
• 5:20
  Can't I do it?
• 5:21
  Can you do it?
• 5:22
  Okay, I can try.
• 5:24
  Okay, hold on.
• 5:25
  Let me assume the pizzazz.
• 5:26
  Okay, hold on.
• 5:27
  Let me get my...
• 5:30
  Thank God you got me that homemade tattoo artist kit for Christmas.
• 5:34
  Saw it on Etsy.
• 5:36
  I know.
• 5:36
  Etsy's the best.
• 5:38
  It's the besties for Esty's.
• 5:40
  Etsy's.
• 5:42
  Okay, Kirsten, are you ready?
• 5:44
  Yeah, what are you going to do?
• 5:45
  Well, I'm going to somehow try to make this machine look like a slut.
• 5:50
  thank you i'm gonna try to make that oh look like a you i knew you'd get it okay okay
• 5:56
  three hours later
• 6:05
  oh my my oh my hand's about to fall off no hold it with the other one i think i i think i did it
• 6:14
  Oh no.
• 6:20
  What?
• 6:20
  What?
• 6:21
  No, nothing.
• 6:22
  What do you mean no?
• 6:23
  I don't have time to survey my work.
• 6:25
  Your date's here.
• 6:26
  Oh, okay.
• 6:28
  Let me comb my hairs.
• 6:32
  Come in.
• 6:34
  Me.
• 6:37
  Yo.
• 6:38
  Kirsten.
• 6:40
  Yes?
• 6:41
  Me?
• 6:42
  Do you just say, come in, me?
• 6:46
  As a slut would do, yes.
• 6:49
  Whoa, well, that sounds like something a slut would say,
• 6:53
  but I'm afraid you're going to have to prove in another way that you're really a slut.
• 6:57
  Oh, okay. Hold on.
• 7:00
  I only accept validation in the form of tattoos.
• 7:04
  Oh, this is for todas, Billy.
• 7:07
  Hold on, I'm a zipper fly.
• 7:09
  They're going down from my ankles.
• 7:14
  Wait, sorry.
• 7:16
  Did you just say you have a zipper fly?
• 7:18
  Yeah, it's not a zipper.
• 7:19
  Oh.
• 7:20
  Oh.
• 7:21
  And then I heard a bunch of button noises Don slut You such a slut you don even know what kind of pants you got on Yeah I love that I love that in my sluts Oh wow Can wait to be
• 7:35
  thrown away.
• 7:37
  Okay, um...
• 7:39
  There I am.
• 7:42
  What?
• 7:43
  Let me turn for you.
• 7:46
  Oh.
• 7:46
  Kirsten.
• 7:48
  What?
• 7:49
  Kirsten, why do you have
• 7:51
  an exact
• 7:53
  replica of
• 7:55
  Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper
• 7:57
  on your butt. What the hell?
• 7:59
  Hold on. Becky!
• 8:02
  Yeah?
• 8:03
  I'm hiding in the other room. I don't want to ruin
• 8:05
  your date. Becky said I've got a, like,
• 8:07
  some sort of da Vinci.
• 8:10
  I'm sorry.
• 8:11
  I don't know what I'm doing.
• 8:13
  They're not sluts. They're not?
• 8:15
  No, they're fuggos. They're just dudes with long hair?
• 8:17
  They're ugly dudes.
• 8:19
  Oh, I'm so sorry.
• 8:21
  I don't want to be, have a meal
• 8:23
  on me uh hello yeah becky what what's the deal like why did you put this on your friend's ass
• 8:33
  i i i don't know i i was just trying to fix there was a horrible horrible mistake don't tell me
• 8:38
  about it no no listen kirsten it's okay you can be honest with me just tell me what happened
• 8:46
  have you ever like
• 8:48
  been to Las Vegas
• 8:51
  have I ever
• 8:53
  Nevada
• 8:54
  and then what
• 8:55
  I was saying it's in Nevada
• 8:57
  oh that Las Vegas
• 9:00
  yeah there's actually one in New Mexico
• 9:02
  I've been to that one
• 9:03
  I've not been to the Vegas one
• 9:05
  or the Nevada one
• 9:07
  you're missing much
• 9:09
  I am missing much
• 9:11
  yeah you bring your coins
• 9:13
  and you put the coins in
• 9:14
  and sometimes you get something.
• 9:18
  Well, I got a coin right here.
• 9:21
  I can just maybe insert this
• 9:26
  into that slot in your sweet, sweet ass.
• 9:30
  One second. Becky, you can go.
• 9:31
  Just know that the house always wins.
• 9:40
  Alright, end scene.
• 9:44
  We'll see you next time.