Latest / Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul / Ep 17 | Building Physical Resilience as a Sensitive Woman: An Invitation for Women in Their 20s | Highly Sensitive Series

Transcript

Ep 17 | Building Physical Resilience as a Sensitive Woman: An Invitation for Women in Their 20s | Highly Sensitive Series · Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul

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Welcome to Rise and Realign, conversations for
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the sensitive soul. I'm Melissa, and this space
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is for those of us who feel deeply, love fiercely,
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and sense the world in ways that are hard to
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explain, but impossible to ignore. Here, we honor
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your sensitivity as a strength, not something
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to fix. So in today's episode, I'm referencing,
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again, the Highly Sensitive Series blog articles
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that I had written. And there's nine parts, three
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that cover the mind, three that... address the
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body and then the last three address the spirit
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and so today is part six so it's the third in
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that body series it's called building physical
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resilience as a sensitive woman and again you're
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always invited to read the blog in its entirety
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you can find it on my website realignwithmelissa
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.com slash blog and you can even search the categories
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for highly sensitive series. So it brings up
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all nine parts for you right there. But really,
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you know, talking about building physical resilience
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as a sensitive woman, it's really important to
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understand that traditional approaches to building
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physical resilience often involve pushing limits,
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right? Powering through, you know, and there's
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lots of, again, coaches trainers you know we'll
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just say individuals who don't have the understanding
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and awareness of you know that roughly 20 to
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30 percent of the population have this um high
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sensitivity trait and that it's understanding
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that this sensitivity is a survival strategy,
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right? And it's innate, it's normal, and it's
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invisible. But it also explains why this pushing
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through, you know, approach often backfires for
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highly sensitive people. So again, it's so important
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to understand what makes you unique and different
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as a sensitive woman, and why your path to resilience
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it calls for an honoring of your natural way
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that that depth of processing for your experiences
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and really think of resilience as a river It's
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not a wall that we're trying to climb. A river
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has tremendous strength. It flows around obstacles
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instead of crashing through them. And it knows
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when to rush and when to pool. So it knows when
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to deepen. It knows when to spread wide. And
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this is the kind of resilience that best suits.
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you know, your sensitive system. And, you know,
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again, you're always invited to read the blog,
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and you can see the research that's cited there.
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And in this particular one, I actually, you know,
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talk about the brain imaging studies by Dr. Bianca
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Acevedo that demonstrate highly sensitive people
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show increased activations in areas responsible
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for deep processing and awareness right so again
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just pointing to how sensitivity itself is a
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form of strength right like you've heard me call
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it um a sensory intelligence right and so again
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i'm here continually speaking about the sensory
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processing sensitivity trait because it is normal
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yet invisible right you do have a more finely
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tuned nervous system your neuroanatomy is just
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a little bit different and again we're still
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all unique even though um 20 to 30 percent of
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us have this trait really understanding it helps
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you understand your own journey, you know, your
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own challenges and how to listen and trust yourself
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more easily, more readily, more deeply, right?
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Because again, this depth of processing, it's
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a depth of caring. It's a depth of, you know,
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what you feel, what you think about, right? So
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again, your your natural rhythm is just different
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than the roughly 70 to 80 percent of the population
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who do not have this innate survival strategy
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right so it's important to understand that when
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we're in healthy environments when we're supported
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when we're listened to right then as a sensitive
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individual you have the ability to really excel
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you have great capacity, right? High functioning,
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you know, maybe you have big dreams, big aspirations,
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right? Just a lot of generosity of heart, I certainly
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see in all of the women that I have the privilege
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of supporting. But you need to understand that
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your, the emotional intensities that you feel,
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the, you know, the emotional processing, the
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mental processing, all of that is using, you
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know, energy from the body. And that's not always
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talked about. And again, that's why I just return
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here each week to continue to raise awareness
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so that you can tune into your unique needs and
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honor yourself because you matter. Your needs
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matter. And again, I'm so grateful that Elaine
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Aron and others like Dr. Bianca Acevedo have
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been researching this high sensitivity trait.
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And if you're not already aware, there are documentaries
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as well. And of course, Dr. Elaine Aron has written
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several books for the highly sensitive person.
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So today, though, I really wanted to touch on
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something that has been coming up for me. And,
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you know, I don't know if I've talked about my
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professional roles much on this podcast, but
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I have been a licensed independent clinical social
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worker since the I guess, mid to late 90s. And
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my career began, you know, providing individual
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therapy and play therapy for individuals who
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have experienced trauma history with substance
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abuse and with adolescence as well. And After
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providing family therapy, couples therapy, and
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individual, I always come back to, you know,
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when I work one -on -one with someone, there's,
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again, so much depth that gets revealed through
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highly sensitive individuals that I work with.
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And so my career over the past 30 years has really
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evolved. to see the importance of supporting
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highly sensitive women specifically. I would
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say the last couple years that just became really
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clear to me. And you've heard me talk that this
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trait is equal between males and females. And
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I absolutely have highly sensitive males in my
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life. And I really appreciate those experiences
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and what they bring into my life as well. But
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again, as a woman, as a woman who didn't always
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know about this trait, it came out, the research
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came out in the, I think it was the early 90s.
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And so, you know, I navigated my 20s and my 30s
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without any knowledge of this trait. and learned
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about it once I was in my forties. So what I
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really, really love and feel so privileged is
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that the women that have come to work with me,
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and again, I have a very holistic approach. So,
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you know, one psychotherapist is, is, you know,
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We're not all the same, obviously. Even within
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that title, we have our own training or our own,
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you know, ways of offering that type of service.
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And I've certainly referred to myself as a holistic
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psychotherapist so that it's really clear that
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I'm going to, you know. look at somebody's wholeness,
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right? How their mind is operating, how their
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body is being cared for and, you know, what's
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the communication from the body, right? And also
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that spirit, that fire within them, that, you
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know, that which lights them up, that which moves
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them forward towards what they feel most interested,
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you know, and called to do. And I've also had
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the wonderful opportunity of hosting different
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types of groups throughout my, really my whole
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career. I mean, at 19, I was hosting groups in
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locked psychiatric hospitals, supporting individuals
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who, you know, were really navigating some very
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difficult challenges. So I... Just wanted to
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talk today about the power of highly sensitive
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individuals coming together with other highly
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sensitive individuals, whether that's through
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your own personal network, right? You have friends
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or colleagues who get you, you know, and who
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you can talk about, you know, these deeper nuances
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of your experience. And if you don't have that,
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I just want you to know that I am someone who's
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here with a very specific focus to support other
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highly sensitive women. And I've actually been
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receiving some ideas that I immediately felt
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clear about. have initiated. So I wanted to really,
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if you are in your early to mid twenties, um,
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or just anywhere in your twenties and you're
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listening to this, I really want to speak directly
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to you for a moment because, you know, I've,
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I've reflected on my own journey in my twenties
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and not knowing about being a highly sensitive
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individual and just how I felt. Um, and I didn't
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meet another sensitive friend until I was uh
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25 and she has become my my lifetime best friend
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um but I know that in our 20s right this is this
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is where many sensitive women you know are trying
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to prove that they can keep up right like whether
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you have graduated um from a bachelor's degree
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or you're you know in or graduating from right
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a master's program whether you're building a
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career navigating relationships you know questioning
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your body um just finding what suits you right
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your direction like where you feel most alive
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and authentically you, I know that can be challenging
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when we don't understand, you know, say the emotional
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ups and downs or why people may say, oh, just
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go to the gym and work out if you don't feel
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good, you know, that'll get your juices flowing.
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And it's just like, you know, that can work for
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some of us. And it can work for some time, but
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it's not the go -to fix as a highly sensitive
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individual. It really is about getting to know
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your sensitivity and your strength and honoring
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your rhythm. And I have to say, too, for the
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beautiful, highly sensitive women who I've had
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the opportunity to support in your 20s, I just...
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your curiosities, you know, your openness, you
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know, your ability to question, right? Like how
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you were raised and how that aligns with who
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you are and what you want, right? And that depth,
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again, of caring. So how much you... appreciate,
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you know, what you did receive from your parents
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and your awareness of what you didn't receive
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that you really needed, right? And so I just,
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you know, want to remind you, I mean, whatever
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age you are, there's nothing wrong with you having
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a more finely tuned nervous system. It's about
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understanding that you have a different rhythm
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and it's important to be true to you, right?
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Because trust me, I've been there. You know,
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when I just pushed through and added more onto
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my plate, it just made it so much more difficult,
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you know? So again, I'm really wanting to support
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women in their 20s. sensitive and strong women
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in their 20s, so that you have a safe space,
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you know, a space that you can come to once a
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month for some support, for some safety, for
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some slowing down, connecting with yourself,
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with your heart. with, you know, what's being
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called from within you, you know, a space that,
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you know, you get some, I'll say distance from.
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the chaos of the external world and expectations
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so that you have a place to come and connect
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with other highly sensitive women in their twenties,
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you know, and with a highly sensitive guide,
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um, myself who has walked the path of being,
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you know, a highly sensitive woman in her 20s
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and and navigated relationships and career and
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you know um colleges and professors expectations
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you know um and just not feeling understood or
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heard right it's so important that as highly
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sensitive women we come together to share the
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space, right? Share the depth that you have with
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other sensitive women who will appreciate it
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so deeply, again, because of that depth, right?
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And to just create a space that you can feel
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yourself, you know, you can express. your emotions
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without apologies you know where you can feel
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what you need to feel and know that you're in
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a safe space so it's really been an honor to
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see how many um women in their 20s have already
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been resonating with um this podcast and the
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universe has brought me, um, synchronistic experiences
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that helps me to know that, um, this is the time
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to offer it. Um, and so I want you to know I'm
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introducing, well, I have, I just introduced
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it over the weekend. It's called sensitive and
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strong, the realigned circle for women in their
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twenties. So it's small. It's an intimate monthly
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gathering. It's the first Tuesday of the month.
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So the first one begins Tuesday, March 3rd, and
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that's 5 .30 p .m. Pacific. And I currently have
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one beautiful, sensitive woman who has signed
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up. And again, you're invited. 30 -day window
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that you can experience and see how it resonates
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for you. There is a community space as well,
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which is off social media. And that's open for
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how you want to use that to get to know each
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other, you know, the other 20 -year -old sensitive
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women in there. It's really something that It's
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a space to understand your nervous system. It's
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a space to build resilience, a space to practice
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breath, boundaries, rhythm. It's a space to be
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strong without hardening, without pushing through,
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without trying to live up to what you might see
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others doing. It's really a way for you to return
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to you. And I want to be clear, this is not therapy,
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right? It's not a performance space, right? It's
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a rhythm restoring circle. And especially, you
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know, if you've ever felt like you're too much
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or not enough at the same time, like this is
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for you. I know it's coming up quickly, but if
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it resonates for you, you know, trust that. And
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again, you can join and get a feel for it. You
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can ask questions. This really is a living space.
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I bring a lot of love and compassion because
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again i've walked the path and i have supported
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countless individuals in my 30 years and this
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is something i'm really passionate about and
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really appreciate again the strength and the
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resiliency and the capacity within sensitive
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women and when they come together it's just beautiful
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it's so loving and supportive and it's just an
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extension right we're each bringing that depth
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of caring that love and light that is within
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us all we get to bring it together to support
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and and just know that you know i'm there as
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a mentor not as a therapist, you know, diagnosing
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or, you know, trying to treat symptoms. No, this
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is a space for you to keep returning to you and,
21:34
and to receive the education around what it means
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to be a highly sensitive person. And you know,
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my integrative mental health and my quantum biology
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health approach is just part of who I am at this
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point in time. I feel it's very, it's very much
21:56
like the ancestral wisdom that I've been living
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and navigating. And I've just been so blessed
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to connect with mentors who have specialized
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in the integrative mental health and the quantum
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biology health arenas. And so, because believe
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me, I know as highly sensitive women, right?
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Like there's curiosity, there's definitely this
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high awareness, high intelligence, right? So
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I know there's a lot of topics that can come
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up in a circle. right, with other 20 -year -old
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sensitive and strong women. So yeah, I'm just
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excited to invite you to join, invite you to
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bring your unique gifts and talents and curiosities.
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And again, the inner world of sensitive individuals
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is so complex and nuanced. And, you know, there's
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infinite possibilities of where our conversations
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could go, you know, how I can support and being
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present with what's coming up for you and also
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empowering you to see what else is possible,
23:28
to believe in yourself, to believe in your dreams,
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to believe in that spark within you, right? We
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want to nurture that. We want to be nurturing
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to ourselves and to each other. Again, you're
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invited to visit my website, realignwithmelissa
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.com and you can click on the offerings page
24:02
and that's where you'll see sensitive and strong,
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the realign circle for women in their twenties.
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And again, one of you has said yes and it will
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just continue to grow at the perfect right timing
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and pace as more and more hear this invitation
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and know that this space is is created for you
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um i have to say you know i am so honored to
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not only have a daughter in her 20s who I learned
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so much from um mother and daughter relationships
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can bring their own complexities and we can certainly
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talk about that in this circle as well um and
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I have a daughter -in -law in her 20s and again
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it's just knowing that I didn't understand this
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high sensitivity trait when I was in my 20s and
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how helpful that would have been and to now be
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right like 20 to 30 years later and the environments
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that you as 20 year olds are now navigating has
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even more things you know we're talking um, wifi,
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right? Electromagnetic fields. Like remember
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as highly sensitive individuals, we're not only
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taking in the external, right? You're not just
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taking in more visual stimuli, more auditory
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stimuli, right? Like you're also taking in the
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invisible, right? The frequencies that are coming.
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And that's when we talk about, um, you know,
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some call it being an empath, right? But again,
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there's different languages that mean different
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things. So I'll just stay with... your generation
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is exposed to even more than mine was. And that's
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why it is so essential that if you are a highly
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sensitive woman, that you understand how to care
26:35
for your nervous system and how to understand
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why some things may feel more difficult or challenging
26:43
for you than others. You know, you are in a minority,
26:48
but again, It's not to say there's something
26:52
wrong, right? This is not an identity or a label
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that needs to say doom, right? That doesn't feel
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good to me. To me, this is a sensory intelligence
27:06
that I'm tuning into, that I'm learning to understand
27:11
the communication so that I best take care of
27:15
me because it's so important that we understand.
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The relationship that we have with ourself is
27:22
the number one relationship to focus on. So that
27:27
relationship with your inner dynamics, right?
27:30
How your mind is operating, how your body is
27:34
communicating, right? What your spirit is calling
27:38
you forward towards. This is all the inner communication
27:43
that we're not necessarily raised to tune into.
27:48
It's often let's look outward. Let's do all these
27:51
things, X, Y, Z, right? I mean, I certainly felt
27:55
like I had achieved the American dream, but I
27:59
didn't have the relationship that I have with
28:03
myself. I was so much looking outward and, you
28:09
know, reaching the milestones that I needed to
28:11
reach. And it was just. constant bracing right
28:18
of what's next and um just trying trying so hard
28:22
right to do everything correct because that sensory
28:27
processing allows you to think about what you
28:30
just experienced and how you can use that information
28:33
to make another um not necessarily another decision
28:38
but to make a decision in the future That sets
28:42
you up for even more success, right? So again,
28:46
this depth of processing can get, we can get
28:50
burned out if we don't understand it and reel
28:53
it back in. So again, this is my invitation to
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you if you're in your twenties and if you are.
29:03
someone who knows another highly sensitive woman
29:07
in her 20s and you think she would benefit, please
29:10
do share this episode with her. Or if you go
29:16
to my website and you have the link to sign up,
29:19
again, there is a 30 -day period for you just
29:25
to get a feel, to see, you know, does it resonate
29:29
for you? if it's the right timing or the right
29:33
place. So, as a reminder, we are here together
29:40
to rise, reclaim, remember. Where the heart leads,
29:47
the body remembers, and the soul awakens. Before
29:54
we close, I invite you to return to your breath.
30:00
Nice, slow inhale through your nose. Nice, slow
30:08
exhale out your mouth. Just piercing your lips
30:12
like you're blowing out a candle. Nice and slow.
30:16
That signals to your nervous system. You're safe.
30:21
You can relax. And again, continue at your own
30:28
pace and rhythm. Just remember, as you're inhaling
30:33
through your nose, you are hydrating your body.
30:38
So essential for there to be flow. And exhaling
30:44
out your mouth, releasing, relaxing, letting
30:49
go. So continue to return to your breath, your
30:59
body. to what feels true for you right now. There's
31:06
nothing you need to fix. Just notice what's here
31:11
for you. So take good care of you. Much love
31:20
and light.