Latest / The Hypnotist / Hypnosis to Let Go of a Past Relationship and to Invite Self Love, Reflection and Empowerment

Transcript

Hypnosis to Let Go of a Past Relationship and to Invite Self Love, Reflection and Empowerment · The Hypnotist

• 0:05
  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
• 0:09
  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
• 0:12
  genuine. Issues.
• 0:13
  Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
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  celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox.
• 0:20
  These recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's
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  world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
• 0:31
  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  Hi, it's. Adam here.
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  Now, if you've ever felt still emotionally attached to a
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  relationship. Even after.
• 0:47
  The relationship has finished, you might get some value.
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  From this session. And I was working with a.
• 0:53
  Client. That the relationship had
• 0:56
  physically ended more than a year before.
• 0:59
  But they spend a lot of time ruminating, wondering what if?
• 1:03
  What if they did something different?
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  What if they handled situations in a different way and that was
• 1:09
  emotionally training. They would also see certain
• 1:13
  things that would remind them of them and that might be a name of
• 1:16
  someone in ATV show. That was their name and it would
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  constantly trigger them into thinking of the past now.
• 1:25
  There is. A useful function of thinking
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  about a past relationship and it isn't to punish you, and it
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  isn't to blame you or shame you for any mistakes that you may
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  have made in that relationship. The purpose is for you.
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  To extract wisdom and insight from that relationship so that.
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  You're able to. Change something in yourself so
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  that you can invite possible better relationships that are
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  more suited for you in the future.
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  This client in particular felt that it wasn't even the most
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  desirable relationship for them. They kind of entered it
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  reluctantly and when they were in it, they then kind of felt,
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  is this even right? They had doubts even in the
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  relationship. It's only when it ended, they
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  found that they were missing something.
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  And that tells me and them that actually it wasn't this
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  relationship that was such an important thing, just a
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  relationship. All humans need intimacy,
• 2:29
  connection and love and that's what this client really needed.
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  But if there is a feeling that you had something and lost it,
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  it can feel like the one that got away, and that's where the
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  rumination really starts from. So if you feel like that
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  sometimes that you keep dwelling on a previous relationship and
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  you're not in that relationship anymore, you might get some
• 2:51
  value from this. But be aware that this uses
• 2:55
  timeline and disassociation to dissect and observe a
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  relationship and certain key moments.
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  From this perspective of the client that I was working with,
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  it is unlikely that this client's timeline of their
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  relationship will match your relationship, and therefore I
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  would invite you to utilize any broad themes of acceptance,
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  detachment, moving on, and wisdom and discernment.
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  These are broad themes. The actual specific details
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  probably won't match your situation, so you can disregard
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  those, but if you do like the idea of having a bespoke session
• 3:34
  with me, there'll be a link in the description and you can also
• 3:37
  find it on my website, adamcox.co.uk.
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  And then you can book a free consultation call over Zoom.
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  We'll have a chat and we might end up working together.
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  For now though, in order to get the best from this session, I
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  would encourage you to find a quiet, comfortable place, the
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  kind of place that you're not going to be distracted or
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  disturbed to relax and enjoy the session.
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  Take a deep. Breath in, and as you breathe
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  in, breathe in a feeling of relaxation.
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  And as you exhale, allow your eyelids to close.
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  And as they close, give yourself permission to relax.
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  Breathing in relaxation and exhaling tension.
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  Each breath takes you deeper and deeper.
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  Relaxed. Your nervous system has been
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  high alert, vigilant, on guard, a good reason to keep you safe.
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  But what if the best way for you to become safe is to become
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  wiser and more resourceful? So breathe in that resourceful
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  relaxation and start to release any regrets, any sadness, any
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  resentment, any frustration, breathing in optimism and
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  exhaling any of those things that have been keeping you
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  attached to the past. Breathing in what you need and
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  exhaling those dark, heavy shadows that don't belong to you
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  anymore. That's it.
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  The deeper you breathe, the more relaxed you feel.
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  And the more relaxed you feel, the deeper you breathe.
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  That's it. Eyelids getting heavier,
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  breathing getting slower and deeper, arms and legs just
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  feeling limp, loose and heavy. That's it.
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  You're relaxing, loosening. Now give permission to let go.
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  And sometimes when you let go, it feels like all of that
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  pressure built up inside can be released, maybe slowly,
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  gradually, like slowly letting the air out of a balloon.
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  Or sometimes the balloon just pops and all of that emotion
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  comes flooding out. There's no right or wrong way.
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  I want you to get a feeling that humans are not robots, and
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  that's OK. What makes us different is
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  emotion. It's real authentic to feel real
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  emotions and what can feel like a good idea to make those
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  emotions not feel so intense is to build a barrier to protect
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  you. And what can feel like a
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  fortress can end up being a prison.
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  And I want you to get a feeling, the feeling that you don't need
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  to hide yourself away, hide behind a shell of analysis,
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  professionalism. That it's OK to feel emotions,
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  to feel sad if something didn't work out, to feel angry about a
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  betrayal, to feel frustrated about a mistake.
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  It's all real and natural. And what if what really protects
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  you is not a shell and not a wall, but wisdom and
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  discernment? I want you to imagine a
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  staircase, the grand staircase, perhaps made of marble, going
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  down down towards a corridor that leads to A room.
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  Standing at the top of the staircase, I will count
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  downwards from 12:50 and with each descending number you will
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  feel deeper and deeper, relaxed, connecting to that place where
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  change happens more easily. People think it takes years to
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  change, but you've had a moment where just one idea changed your
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  life. One thought led to a decision,
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  and beyond that decision, your life was on a different
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  trajectory. As you accept the idea that
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  change can happen fast. 10 Take a first step down the staircase.
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  Feeling more relaxed? 9 Another step down the
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  staircase. Breathing deeper. 8 Feeling
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  drowsy or perhaps sleepy now? Seven, Another step down the
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  staircase, arms and legs feeling limp, loose and heavy as Seven
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  becomes 6. Just drain any tension around
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  your jaw, your neck and your shoulders.
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  Feel it leave your body in your outward breath.
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  There's Five halfway down the staircase now. 4 Feeling light,
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  feeling deeper, drifting to that place deep within where change
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  happens quickly. Four becomes 3 and you're
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  getting to the end of that opulent, elegant staircase. 2
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  Breathing in and breathing out, feeling that wonderful feeling
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  of relaxation, feeling resourceful. 2 becomes one as
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  you now leave the staircase and find yourself in that corridor.
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  And in that corridor are doors that represent the past.
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  These are distractions. Each door can lead you to
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  ruminate, overthink, overanalyze.
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  I should have done this. I could have done that.
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  It's just an energy drain. So as you walk past those doors,
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  just lock each one. There's a better way to extract
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  value from the past than ruminating.
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  And at the end of that corridor is a door that leads to your own
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  private cinema. I will countdown from 5 to 1.
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  You will imagine opening that door to your cinema, walking
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  through and closing the door behind you, 5 putting your hand
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  on the handle, 4 turning the handle, 3 opening the door, 2
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  walking through the door and one closing the door behind you.
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  As you're now in your own private cinema, no one else is
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  there. Find the most comfortable chair
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  and see a big screen. Imagine the curtains open and
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  you get to see yourself like an actor on the screen.
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  This is a movie about a relationship, not because that
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  relationship was meant to be, but anytime your brain takes you
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  back to a memory, it's because there is more value to extract.
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  Most people don't extract the value.
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  They dwell, they replay, and this time is different.
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  I want you to imagine seeing the opening scene, and the opening
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  scene is a relationship from way back that instead of just
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  fizzling out, I want you to see that version of you, perhaps
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  from six years ago, or more clearly ending a relationship
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  that just wasn't working. Maybe it's an unambiguous text
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  message, maybe it's one final phone call, maybe it's something
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  else. But the scene opens with you
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  drawing a line in the sand where you end an unfulfilling,
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  ambiguous relationship. And if you can see yourself
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  doing that, let me know by nodding your head.
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  That's it. And then just imagine seeing
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  yourself in summer in a workplace, seeing someone,
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  someone you worked with. Maybe there was a few encounters
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  that then led to social encounters.
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  You're not in your body, you're just observing that character on
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  a screen. And I want you to notice that
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  there wasn't any love at first sight, no instant attraction.
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  There was just noticing. And noticing led to spending
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  time and over a few months there was a a few meetings and then I
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  want you to see see yourself perhaps looking surprised, maybe
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  even shocked when they initiated something to turn getting to
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  know each other into a relationship.
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  Just observe it and notice how that version of you wasn't
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  immediately thrilled with what happened.
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  Consider this evidence. Evidence perhaps, that this
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  wasn't the relationship. This wasn't the person.
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  It was just a relationship and a person.
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  But what you can observe in yourself is that you valued
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  something in this interaction. Maybe companionship, maybe
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  connection, maybe closeness, even intimacy.
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  You valued something, but not necessarily because it was that
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  person. It's the thing you valued, not
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  the individual. I want you to see that there was
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  a point, perhaps weeks and months after that looks like you
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  gave in. You succumbed to advances, you
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  accepted the interest, and maybe it felt like you were giving
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  your permission to yourself to let your guard down.
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  And maybe that guard was up because you've been hurt in the
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  past. You were cautious and noticed
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  that when you finally let that guard down, when you accepted,
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  there was more connection. Maybe daily messages, regular
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  conversations, time spent together.
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  And as you observe yourself on screen, maybe you're smiling
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  more, maybe happier, maybe there's a spring in your step.
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  But the wisdom to extract is that these things, connection,
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  closeness, companionship, are important to you.
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  Not necessarily the person they were coming from, but the things
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  themself are things you value. I want you to see how it
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  evolved. Maybe that version of you gone
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  cautious, protective, had heard stories, heard about adventures,
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  and at some point thought that you may be just one in a long
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  line and notice that the guard went up again.
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  There was a period of time without vulnerability and
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  acceptance led to connection, but then something within you
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  tried to keep you safe and maybe it LED you to being more
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  cautious. Maybe fears and insecurities
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  became more prevalent. Maybe.
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  Maybe what you heard from other people was changing your own
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  perceptions. But just see it on screen like
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  you're seeing a character change.
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  I want you to imagine observing something that felt like it
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  could be evidence of your fears. And whether it was or it wasn't,
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  it gave you a narrative, a role, and maybe, maybe trust had
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  become diluted in you. And when someone's defensive,
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  it's difficult to be open and vulnerable.
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  See the thing that made it change?
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  Take a different course. Not as good or bad, not as right
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  or wrong, not as you did something wrong, but just as a
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  way of extracting wisdom from that moment.
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  Some people find people guilty until they prove themselves to
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  be innocent, whereas others assume that there is innocence
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  until irrefutable evidence of their guilt.
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  No right or wrong, just different strategies.
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  And figure out, knowing what you now know, what might be a more
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  useful strategy for you. You're becoming wiser as the
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  observer. I want you to see how not long
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  after, things started to fizzle out and that version of you
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  accepted that. But let's introduce a new
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  version of you. A version of you that doesn't
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  play that game is not waiting for someone else to take the
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  initiative to be proactive. I want you to see a version of
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  you that if a relationship isn't as you want it to be, and if you
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  can't get it to that level, then you see yourself ending that
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  relationship. You might see yourself doing
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  that in a face to face interaction, maybe a phone call,
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  maybe a message, maybe even an e-mail.
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  But see yourself clearly communicating your needs,
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  expressing what you need in a relationship.
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  And if that can't be met, then you don't want it.
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  No ambiguity, no fizzling out. It's either exactly what you
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  want or you don't want it anymore.
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  And at that point, I want you to see that version of you letting
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  go. Sometimes people become
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  attached, not to an attack, an actual relationship, but the
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  idea of 1. And I want you to get a sense
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  that to be empowered is to see it for what it actually is and
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  act in accordance with that. And if you can see yourself
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  valuing some of what you had in that relationship without it
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  needing to be that individual that meets those needs, if you
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  can imagine yourself ending it on your terms, let me know by
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  nodding your head. That's it.
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  I want you to feel that. Perhaps for months or even years
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  now, you've not been attached to a relationship.
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  You've been attached to an idea of a relationship, of what could
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  have been, may have been, if many things were different,
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  without any guarantee that that was real or true or possible.
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  That's all you're letting go of. The relationship ended all of
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  that time ago. The only thing you haven't let
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  go of yet is what it could have been, without any guarantee that
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  that was true. And if your unconscious is now
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  willing to let go of the idea, not just the reality.
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  And I want you to feel a weight being lifted from your
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  shoulders, any kind of physical pressure around your chest, your
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  gut expanding. And when you notice the physical
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  changes, let me know by nodding your head, because that is
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  evidence of letting go. I want you to allow your
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  unconscious to do it in its own time.
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  And the reason why your unconscious doesn't want to let
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  go is because you value those things in the ideal relationship
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  in your future. There is a fear that if you let
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  go of this idea, you'll never get it back, but that's not
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  true. When you let go of the idea, the
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  wishful thinking, the fantasy, it opens the door to all of
• 27:32
  those things you really value in your future.
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  If someone was to offer you a trade, you can trade your
• 27:43
  drawing of a car for a real car, a picture of a house for a real
• 27:51
  house. Would you be willing to trade
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  something imaginary for something real?
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  And if your unconscious agrees that something real is worth
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  more than something that is just an idea, let me know by nodding
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  your head. That's it.
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  And now something changes on that screen.
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  I want you to see that version of you working on yourself,
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  giving the love that you're willing to give to someone else
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  to yourself. Taking yourself to nice places,
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  buying yourself nice things, even eating well.
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  Exercising is a gift from yourself to yourself.
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  I want you to see a period of self love.
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  You are treating yourself the way you would want to be treated
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  in the ideal relationship. Compliments, affection, acts of
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  thoughtfulness, consideration. I want you to see that version
• 29:23
  of you blossoming, developing, evolving positively.
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  See yourself smiling more. See yourself with a spring in
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  your step, enthusiasm, open to a relationship without needing
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  one, and all of those things you really value, you are open to if
• 30:00
  if they fit with what really connects with you.
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  I want you to see yourself in the future, perhaps going on
• 30:12
  dates. See yourself responding, but
• 30:20
  only positively, to those that are interested in you and you
• 30:26
  have a shared interest in them. I want you to see yourself with
• 30:34
  more trust, optimism. I want you to see that version
• 30:43
  of you applying all the lessons you learned in that previous
• 30:49
  relationship into a possible new one.
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  Being open to something just means you're giving permission
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  to give happiness to your future self.
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  And if you could imagine that future version of you, it seems
• 31:14
  to have been enhanced, progressed, evolved because of
• 31:21
  your past and not hindered by it.
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  Let me know by nodding your head.
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  That's it. Maybe that was the whole point.
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  Why would your unconscious have you replay and notice something
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  again and again? You thought it was because it
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  was that person and it never was.
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  It's a good relationship, Connection, intimacy, love,
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  That's what your unconscious has been trying to steer you
• 31:59
  towards. And not by looking backwards,
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  but by first giving it to yourself and then being open to
• 32:11
  giving it to someone else as they reciprocate with you.
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  This has always been about your future, You only thought it was
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  about your past. I want you to see yourself as
• 32:30
  someone that you would want today, you would want to spend
• 32:36
  time with. You would want to have moments
• 32:44
  with them because the more you like, love and connect with
• 32:55
  yourself, the more you're training your brain as to what
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  is that threshold of which you can value it from someone else.
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  But if you've been starving yourself of love and affection,
• 33:15
  you will settle for scraps from someone else, knowing deep down
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  you deserve so much more. And the end of this movie?
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  Perhaps see yourself 234 years from now in a happy
• 33:35
  relationship. See yourself smiling and looking
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  loved and loving. Because it has to be both.
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  It's not just what you receive, it's what you give to see that
• 33:54
  loving and loved version of you and connect with that wonderful
• 34:03
  knowledge that that is what you deserve.
• 34:07
  That's it. It's not time to leave this
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  cinema, but you leave with a sense of the past is the past
• 34:15
  and any further thoughts about the past is not to ruminate,
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  it's just to extract more wisdom and to prompt you to do
• 34:25
  something nice for yourself. As soon as you leave the cinema
• 34:31
  and walk through your door and see all those locked doors in
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  the corridor and you start to walk up that staircase made of
• 34:44
  marble, yourself reaching back into your conscious mind as very
• 34:49
  soon I count from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you, take a deep
• 34:55
  breath in through your nose and out through your nose.
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  Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, connect and calibrate into
• 35:09
  the here and the now as I now count from 1:00 to 10:00 to
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  awaken you. Starting to count 123.
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  Waking up 456 more alert 7-8. Open your eyes, open your eyes,
• 35:27
  910. Wide awake, wide awake, wide
• 35:31
  awake. Thank you so much for joining me
• 35:46
  on today's episode of the Hypnotist.
• 35:49
  If you've enjoyed this episode or got some value from it,
• 35:53
  please give it a five star rating and review.
• 35:56
  And maybe you know someone that would also benefit from this
• 36:00
  particular episode, in which case share the episode with them
• 36:04
  so they can also get the benefit too.
• 36:07
  And if you would like to listen to this episode where it's just
• 36:11
  the hypnosis, so no intro, no outro, no explanation, just the
• 36:16
  hypnosis and completely ad free, there will be a link in the
• 36:20
  description where you can subscribe at a very low cost and
• 36:24
  only get access to the hypnosis. So if that's of interest, please
• 36:28
  check that out. Thank you again for being a
• 36:32
  regular listener of The Hypnotist and I'll see you again
• 36:35
  soon for more.