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The Most Cruel Disease with Sarah Trott · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everyone, welcome to the Almost Famous podcast. It's great
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: to be back. I'm here with my wonderful co host,
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Benjamin Higgins.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: We teased last week actually that you're on a special
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: project that I cannot wait to tell the world about. Uh,
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: very you know, within the next couple.
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: Of months, within soon, Yeah, within soon.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: I'm glad you're back.
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: I am glad to be back too.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that I would be back so soon,
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: but I'm glad to be back to my little docinator
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: and with her Mother's day, even though my mother's day
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: had Jared working, so we just had a nice dinner.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: It's fine, you know, That's what what comes to it
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: when new own a restaurant.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let me tease this. I'm upset that you're back
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: this soon.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: Guys, did you did you tell them last week?
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: No? No, I don't think we can.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: Even tell them. I'll say this, okay, Well can say this.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: Ben was.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Supposed to be involved in this pot.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Ben was asked to be involved with this project, and
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: he said it too much of a time dedication. And
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: then we realized that the time dedication. Part was flexible,
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: and that's all we can say.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: A week later, you're back. Yeah, Hey, we have a
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: big episode today, Ashley. We're gonna bring Sarah Trout in
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: right now to the episode. If you remember right, she
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: was on Matt James this season. She left on her
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: own accord in week three. Sarah's involved in a lot
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: of things that have become very personal to me and
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: also also you, Ashley, because obviously we're friends. We sit
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: on this podcast, you've got to hear a lot about it.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: And so today's a big episode talking to Sarah, and
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: then we have a lot of headlines this week as well,
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: a couple of marriages, a couple of babies, a couple
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: couple things about drama. So it's gonna be a great
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: off season episode. Welcome Sarah to Almost Famous.
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: Hey guys, thanks for having me.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: Hello Sarah, thanks for joining us. It's so nice to
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: meet you.
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: It's nice to meet you too.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I feel like I know you, Ashley from Instagram or something.
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: That's so sweet. I honestly feel like i've met you
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: before too.
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: Maybe briefly actually on Matt season.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: But you weren't on that date.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: You were like watching Yes, yeah, okay you were so
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: you were still around at that point.
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: I was, yeah, that was like the beginning of the end.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: I have met you in your life.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Well, Sarah, really excited to have you on today. I
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: have a lot to talk to you about. I know
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: you have a lot going on in your life. You're
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: involved in some very important things. Something's very personal to me.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: I don't know if you know this, but my best friend,
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: who moved out here to Denver, Colorado with me, thirty
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: eight years old, was diagnosed with ALS two and a
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: half years ago in this weekend, just a few days ago,
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: we actually moved him and his wife out of their house.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: They're moving back to Indiana, where we're from, to get
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: some more specific care and support around them. We started
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: an organization kind of to support families going through ALS.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: There's a lot I want to educate and break down
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: here on this episode, because you're somebody that has lived
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: through it, became an expert in a lot of ways
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: and a massive advocate. So, Sarah, I want to start
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: with asking you the general question. Can you give us
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: a background just in case people are unfamiliar with your
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: relationship with ALS.
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: Well, first, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Thirty eight is so young, and ALS is just the
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: most cruel disease because it seems like it takes the
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: people that have the most going on, the most athletic,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: you know, people that just are thriving in life, and
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: it really will just come out of nowhere. And unfortunately,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: with ALS, there's not a lot of knowledge and there's
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: not a lot of cure about you know, how to
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  Speaker 1: how to cure the disease. But for those who don't know,
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: you might have heard about it from the Ice Bucket
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Challenge back in twenty fourteen, that viral movement, the Ice
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  Speaker 1: Bucket Challenge. ALS is amotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: lou Grigg's disease. It's a neurological degenerative disease, so that
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: means your body and brain stop communicating with each other.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: So over time you lose the ability to speak, to walk,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: to talk, but cognitively, mentally you are still with it,
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  Speaker 1: unlike something like dementia or Parkinson's where you may lose
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: your mental ability. ALS. It's just like your body is
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: completely failing you. And unfortunately, the life expectancy is two
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: to five years after diagnosis. There are ways to make
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: ALS a livable disease to prolong your life, but it's
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: extremely difficult for the person that's going through it, and
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: then also the caregivers and the support system around them.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: So I really feel for your friend. I'm so sorry
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: to hear that.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Now. You do have a personal experience with ALS. Right,
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: your father was diagnosed. I don't know how many years ago.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: Can you walk us and tell us that story?
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, thank you for asking. My dad had ALS
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: for six years. I was in college when he was diagnosed.
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  Speaker 1: He passed away after an incredibly courageous battle in October
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, and that was just a really life
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: changing experience for our whole family.
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: And did the whole.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Thing of like googling what is ALS when we heard
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: about the diagnosis. He was having some symptoms where he
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: was super athletic. He was on a men's baseball league
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: and felt like he had a knee injury that was
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: kind of resurfacing, and then he had difficulty speaking and
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: enunciating his words, and so they're like, hey, I think
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: we should check this out. So they did a whole
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: laundry list of tests to go through what could this be?
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: And they figured out it was ALS, and that was
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: just devastating. Our family was like, are you sure this
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: is ALS? I mean, this is so intense, are you
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: kidding me? Two to five years? There's no cure?
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  Speaker 5: How could this be?
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  Speaker 1: And so it was like our whole world was crashing
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  Speaker 1: down that, you know, my dad, this awesome guy, full
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: of life, just got basically a death sentence. And so
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: during that time that was really hard to navigate. All
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: the ups and downs watching him decline and just fight
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: the disease and just experiencing that was extremely difficult, and
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: coming out of it, and then the silver lining of
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: it being able to talk about my experience caring for him,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: kind of rerouting life plans, embarking on my early twenties,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: not knowing how this disease would affect him and our family,
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: pausing my career in broadcast television, coming home to help
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: him and spend really quality time with him in his
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: last couple of years of his life were all.
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: Really important things.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: And yeah, and then having the opportunity to talk about
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: it on the Bachelor, and hearing so many other women
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: message me and send me dms like, oh my gosh,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you're talking about this my dad or
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: my mom is going through this, or I didn't know
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I was a caregiver per se, because I'm just doing
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: what any daughter, you know, someone would do for their
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: parents that they love. But putting a name to it
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: and recognizing that the work that you're doing to care
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  Speaker 1: for a loved one is real and it's valuable and
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: it matters, and building a community around that was the
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: silver lining through it all.
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  Speaker 3: So my buddy Brandon had gone through divorce and he's
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: living in my basement at the time, and I was
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: on a work trip and I came back home and
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: we were sitting on the couch watching a basketball game,
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: and we cracked open a beer and we were talking
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  Speaker 3: and he was slurring his words, not terribly, just enough
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: where I was like, man, if you're drinking because you're
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: sad alone, let me know, like I live here with you.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: I can ride this wave with you. And he goes, no, man,
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  Speaker 3: it's not that he's like, I don't know what it is.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: He's like, when I get tired, my tongue just doesn't
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: work right now, like it's been this way for two weeks.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: And that was the start of the bulber on set,
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: and I say this to say, Brandon hiked fourteen ers.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: I think he had almost twenty under his belt. He
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: was my golfing buddy, He did triathlons. It was unexpected,
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: it was shocking, and it still is to this day.
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  Speaker 3: His wife Sam has been incredible through it all. More
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: and more people though, you know, this is something that
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: maybe people were unfamiliar with and it was relatable for
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: the people who have been through it when you're on
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  Speaker 3: The Bachelor, because you were talking about it and putting
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: a name to it. But we were unfamiliar with it
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: for so long. But it's rapidly growing and rapidly increasing
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: with the amount of people that are being diagnosed with ALS, right,
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: I think.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: There's a lot more awareness, a lot more people are
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: there's early detection, there's you know, new advancements in detection
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: and understanding that hey, this is ALS. And I just
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: think there's also been a really big social movement behind
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: it that you know, kickstarted with the ice Bucket Challenge.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: But you know, there's still a lot more that needs
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: to be done to spread the word about ALS. It's
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: a rare disease. It's you know, the percent of Americans
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: it impacts is pretty low compared to dementia or Parkinson's
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: or other diseases. But there is a community, seems to
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: be a growing community of people that are impacted by it.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: And once you meet someone or you have someone in
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: your life that is touched by ALS and you see
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: just how devastating and difficult it is, it seems like
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: then you meet another person who has ALS, and you're like, hey,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: like this person's also going through this, and just sharing
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: resources and just being there and knowing how to be
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: a friend to someone who is going through ALS or
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: someone whose parent is going through because it really is
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: such a unique disease. It's not like something where you
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: can say, oh, like hang in there, I hope you
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: get better, I hope you know you're there's going to
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: be a cure. There truly isn't a cure right now.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: And I remember that just being the most frustrating frustrating thing,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: like how could there not be a cure? How could
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: there not be people who know about this? And it
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: feels like it's your whole world, And so that part
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: has felt really frustrating. But since the show, I feel
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: like I've kind of fallen into this accidental advocate role
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: where I never knew about ALS. I never meant to
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: be a spoke woman for this. I never wanted to be.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I never wanted my dad to.
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: Go through this.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: But since then, just seeing how it has impacted people,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: and just using the platform that I've had from the
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: show to talk about it, to raise awareness, to raise funds.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Last week there was a San Diego Greater San Diego
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: eighth annual gala and auction, and really dialed into that
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: community and we raised over one hundred and fifty thousand
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: dollars last week for hair services and support in San Diego.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: And that's just a drop in the bucket. There's still
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: so much more that needs to happen across the country.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: But that's where I'm at right now. We're just talking
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: about ALS and caregiving and doing whatever I can to
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: help people out.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Like you said, I just think it's like the scariest
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: disease just because it basically is a death sentence.
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: There's just no way you could be like, oh, you're
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: going to get better.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: How did you and your family, your dad and your
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: mom and the.
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: Kids, how did you deal with it?
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Like emotionally and mentally for the initial diagnosis and the years,
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: the years going forward.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Honestly, at first, not well, it was Yeah, it was
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: just shocking. It was like, I think I was in
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: college and I was watching wedding crashers with my friends,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: just like my roommates on the couch, and there's you know,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: the wedding scene and the dad is walking the daughter
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: down the aisle, and I just like completely lost it.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: I was like, I felt like my whole world was
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: shattering of all of these ideas that I had that,
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: you know, my dad would be around to walk me
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: down the aisle to meet my kids one day, to
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: see his grandkids. And just when you're so young and
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: you have this idea of what your life is going
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: to look like and something like als comes in and
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: it's just, hey, I'm here to just f up all
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: these plans. It's just like so frustrating and heartbreaking and awful, honestly,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: And I think at the time I didn't reach out
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: to people, you know, I felt really isolated. I didn't
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: really take the initiative to see what resources were out there,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: and just kind of was like, I'm going to deal
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: with this. This is something my family is dealing with
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: And it wasn't until later in the disease where we
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: got over the shock and the first kind of hurdles
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: of my dad and his decline where we felt like,
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: all right, this is our new reality. What are we
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: going to do about it? And really leaned on my
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: dad's strength and resilience just being super positive and optimistic
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: even in the face of this, Like he could have
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: gone two ways. He could have been bitter and angry
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: and awful and you know, been in misery, which is
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: what I feel like the default would be when you
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: have something like this, But he was really optimistic and
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: encouraging and just truly believed his purpose in life was
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: to be an inspiration to others and to show you know,
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: this is something that's really difficult.
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: Als is so difficult. So whatever you're.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Going through in your day to day, you know, it's
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: not that bad, Like you can get through it. And
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: so that's when I started talking more about my experience
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: and opening up and being really vulnerable on social media.
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: Which is hard.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: And then the opportunity to come on the show happened
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: in twenty twenty, and had a lot of conversations with
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: my family of like, should I do this.
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: You know, we have a lot going on at home.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: But my dad was always my biggest cheerleader and supporter,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: and he was like, this is an awesome thing, like
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: you know, I want go do this, like you know,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: support you one hundred percent. And then obviously it was
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: really difficult and at the time wasn't the right decision
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: for me. But the good thing about it was that
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: in my brief time being on the show, I was
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: able to talk about ALS, and now that's just spun
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: into something even bigger than I could have ever imagined
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: that I'm now being able to advocate for it and
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: bring other caregivers together and stuff like that.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: One of the frustrating things has been, you know, there
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: isn't a cure. People don't know a lot about ALS
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: from the medical side. Drugs and test trials take forever
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: to get pushed through and to have any research behind them.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: It's happening faster than maybe it even was three years
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: ago when I first kind of dove into this world.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: You know, people now I just read a study yesterday
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: where it says lime disease seems to be a common
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: thread for people that are diagnosed with ALS. So if
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: you're somebody, and I know a lot of Bachelor Nation
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: has been diagnosed with lime disease. Make sure you take
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: care of yourself and make sure you get the help
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: because it isn't just a come and go disease. It
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: can cause great issues. And that's actually what they believe
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: happened to my buddy. He got bit by a tick.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: The tick was infected in it, and it turned his
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: body against himself. One of the things I want to
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: highlight here is we then move on to what you're
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: up to today, and is how expensive ALS is. And
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: I think that's one of the reasons why people who
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: have been affected by it really become great advocates for
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: it too. Is not only does the disease suck, and
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: it does. There's no there's nothing good about ALS there.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: You know, sometimes people get sick and they talk about
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: all the great things about ALS. Sucks, nothing good about it.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: It's awful, but it's also really expensive. I think recent
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: numbers have reported that for somebody at later stage ALS,
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: it can cost up to one hundred and fifty thousand
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: dollars a year to care for that person. Is that
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: something that you can that you know in your experience
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: as well kind of the cost later on down the
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: road for people.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: With als completely, the cost for caregiving, specifically with als,
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: which has its own very unique needs and demands, is
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: just astronomical. And you know, my family, you know, we
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: luckily were able to pull it together somehow and get by,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: but it's extremely costly to be caring for someone, and
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: the cost of health care. If you're bringing in a
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: professional caregiver, somebody who is credentialed, and you know it's
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: from a home care agency, sometimes it's sixty to eighty
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: dollars an hour. And if you think about how many
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: hours of care your loved one might need, especially if
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: it's overnight care or specialized care where you need to
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: have certain credentials in order to do a whiyre lift,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: a transfer in and out of bed, or into like
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: a bathing situation. All of those more intense needs of
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: care are extremely costly, so family members end up just
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: quitting their own jobs and jumping into help to save
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: money because you can't afford to do that. And sometimes
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: the best person who can provide the best care is
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: a spouse or a son or a daughter who just
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: know that person so well. So you know, a caregiver
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: isn't someone that just like sits next to that person
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: and turns on the TV remote. It's somebody who is
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: really putting in hands on work and nursing level care.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: And so there are just tons of stats out there
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: about the value of unpaid family caregivers. That there are
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: fifty three million unpaid family caregivers in the US, people
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: who aren't credentialed and doing this as a career, people
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: that are just stepping aside from maybe their own careers
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: to help a loved one. And that specifically it's disproportionately
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: affects women and women of color, and that if a
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: woman chooses to step away from the workforce, the average
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: lost wages and social Security benefits are more than three
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars over her lifetime.
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: So making.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Basically a really big decision to step back away from
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: a career, away from other things, it's it's a difficult
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: choice a lot of families have to make, and then
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: also incurring all of the financial shocks and going into
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: debt just because your loved one has a chronic or
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: terminal illness. It's a lot of things. It's a thing
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: that people don't really expect or plan or say, for
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: no one is anticipating, oh I might get ALS at
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: you know, thirty eight or something like that. It's just
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: never really in anyone's plan.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: So well, I want to take a second and just
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: recognize all the people too that are out there doing
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: this for their loved ones or for somebody they care about. Yeah,
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: if anything, you know, this time with Sarah is a
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: moment and a tribute to you and say, hey, you're
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: not alone. People recognize how hard it is and how
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: much you've given up and how much you've lost to
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: do this, and your work does not go unnoticed and
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: it is incredible work for the people and for yourself.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: So just take a second recognize all those people, Sarah.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Can we talk about how with als, how the person's
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: brain is all there right and then it's just their
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: body that is falling apart. How was that with communicating
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: with your dad and how like just I don't even
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: know what the word is. It's like not sad, It's
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: just like it's almost like debilitating pain on your part
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: to know that like he just knows everything that's going on,
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: but he just can't.
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: Live his life.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: How is how is that like how is the communication
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: and and.
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: Just feeling like your dad is present.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: It was the most gut wrenching feeling ever because for
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: a long time he was trying to still speak, and
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: it got to a point.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: Where his vocal cords.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: You know, he's losing that muscle, which is a muscle
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: in order to speak, you know, your tongue and your
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: vocal cords. You don't even think about it. It's an
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: involuntary muscle. And all of those involuntary muscles begin to die.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: He was slurring his words, and so I would just
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: remember looking at him, and you know, for a long time,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: I know him so well. I know what he needs,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: if he needs to be adjusted, or like the sleeve
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: on his sweater needs to be pulled down, or what
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: he wants or something like that. Just innately know what
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: he wants. But then it would get to a time
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: where he's just looking at me and he can't speak anymore,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: and I'm just like, I wish I could just read
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: your mind. I wish I could help you. Because he
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: can't move himself to adjust himself in bed or adjust
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: himself in his wheelchair. He was frozen. And so luckily,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: though there are adaptive technologies, and a lot of the
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: ALS funding goes toward making ALS a livable disease. So
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: there's one avenue of finding a cure, which through gene
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: therapy or other ways, hopefully will happen in our lifetimes.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: But what's the more immediate fix is making ALS livable
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: with adaptive technology geez, like an I gaze device. So
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: that was a life saving device for us because he
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: would he was able to calibrate his eyes his pupils
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: to this iPad essentially in front of him, and he
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: could stare at these letters and phrases and be able
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: to write words, sentences, have his saved phrases, Like he would.
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: Have some jokes.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: People would come to our house and it would be
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: like you know, ten am, and he would just love
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: to make people laugh. He would say the bar is open,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: please help yourself, and it would be like ten am,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: or he would he would just be cracking jokes until
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: like until he really couldn't anymore. And so he was
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: able to keep a sense of his personality and his
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: like I guess positivity until for many many more years
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: because of adaptive technologies like that.
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: That's an amazing technology and.
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: Communicate with us what he needed. Yeah, yeah, well.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: You have became a great advocate for this, and you know,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: there's many people myself that are very appreciative for you
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: using your voice and using your time on the show
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: and your time after the show. So before we jump
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: into you know, kind of your life today, and I
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: know still that has a lot to do with ALS
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: advocacy for anybody listening that's saying, hey, I've always wanted
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: to know how to help. I've just never known how.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: What are some recommendations that you have? And I will
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: say this in the same breath. I just posted on
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Instagram yesterday or two days ago about the move of
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: my buddy, kind of highlighting their story and their desire
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: to help families who maybe don't have the financial means
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: they have to care for themselves. And so that's one
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: avenue that I would like to highlight. Please go look
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: at that post, you can follow along. But also for you,
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: Sarah and your experience, what are some great ways for
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: people to support?
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's there's so many different ways in
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: ALS is unique as well, as we talked about, and
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: it's not always donating, you know, that's not always in
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: the cards for everyone. It's maybe doing some research and
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: understanding the nuances of ALS. If you have someone a
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: loved one in your life that is dealing with it,
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: or a good friend or a friend of a friend,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: just knowing a little bit more about the disease and
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: educating yourself so when you are talking with them, you
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: know you're coming in with a little bit more knowledge
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: about it. And then you know, if a friend or
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: someone that you love is going through this as a
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: caregiver or with ALS, you know, ask them how you
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: can help. And a lot of times somebody that's in
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: the thick of it isn't going to exactly say what
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: they need, or they might not even know what they need.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: But something like inviting them to go for a walk,
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: or to call them and check in on them regularly,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: or just to drop off food or flowers on their
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: doorstep is just a way that you can show support
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: without having to like come in the home and make
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: it a big ordeal of like checking in and just
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: small gestures like.
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: That go a really long way.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: But yeah, just recognizing too that you know, May is
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: ALS Awareness month, so you know, sharing your own ALS
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: story if you feel inclined, if you're going through it,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: or you know, making sure that you know you have
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: the permission of friends or whatever to talk about it,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: but to just open up and be vulnerable. You never
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: know who else might be going through something similar. But yeah,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: those are just some ideas, and yeah, and don't be
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: afraid to ask for help as well. You know, May
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: is also Mental Health Awareness Month, and so people that
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: are going through ALS themselves and then also the family
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: members and the support system around them really probably struggle
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: with mental health.
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: It's it's really intense.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: So just checking in on your friends and not being
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: afraid to ask for help or get help is really
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: important too.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: One of the things that I also because you mentioned it,
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: that I've seen that's so helpful. So many people have
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: done this and this is i mean, ALS is our
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: specific topic of today and we really want to highlight that,
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: but this is for anybody who you know has a
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: friend that they know is going through it. One of
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: the best things anybody's done for Sam Brandon's wife, she's
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: been his primary caregiver and been taking care of him
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: and the house and dogs, is to call her and say, Sam,
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: I'm going to come over or I'm going to be there,
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: and you just get away for a day, like you
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: go sleep somewhere, or you go to a spa or
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: go for a walk on your own. Because you've been
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: so in it, I want to relieve you of having
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: any responsibility today. I'm just here to do everything that
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: you would typically do for you if you let me.
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: That's been an incredible way to help because it's helped
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: keep Sam you know, out into the world and being
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: able to see friends and being able to be on
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: our own. So that's for it. That's just good advice
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: for anybody. Yeah, for anybody that knows somebody that's hurting,
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: it's like, hey, you know, lay down a little bit
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: and give up a day for them. I think it
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: would be important. I think it's very valuable.
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: That's amazing.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, let's take a quick break and then
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: we'll get into your bachelor journey and where you are
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: today a little bit. So, Sarah, your dad was a
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: proponent of you going on the show.
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: He thought it was cool, which is nice and supportive.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: How difficult was the decision to say, okay, let's do it,
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: and knowing that you'd be away from your dad from
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: anywhere for well, you guys had that quarantine COVID that
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: the COVID quarantine for the show was like way more
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: intensive than the normal bachelor quarantine in there just like
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: four or five days. So how was that decision knowing
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: that you'd be gone anywhere from like I don't know,
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: ten days to two months.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely wasn't something I took lightly. It was
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: a lot of conversations back and forth with my family,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: my mom, my sister, my dad, and just kind of
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: weighing all of the options and having really candidate conversations
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: with them, and you know, even talking to the producers like, hey,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: my situation is pretty unique. You know, my dad has
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: a terminal illness. He's stable right now, so you know,
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: being away for a few weeks isn't It's going to
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: be difficult, But you know, I feel like we could
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: handle this. Would it be possible to make an exception
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: where I could FaceTime or maybe you know, with a
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: producer in the room of course, like during the journey,
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: if it's were to be longer than I don't know,
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: night one, would I have that ability? And so the
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: producers that I spoke with assured me I would be
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: able to talk with them and stay in touch with them,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: and when I got there though, that really wasn't the case,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: which really the bummer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: I because normally when people have kids, they're really good
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: with the FaceTime at least every other day.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: But you felt like, no, no, not once. So that
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: was really frustrating, and I just felt like being there
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: wasn't exactly what I had thought it would be. And
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: so just weighing the options, I'm like, nothing compares to
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: my family and being with family time, and especially during
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: this situation. So it was a difficult process to leave
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: and leave the show, especially because I had just come
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: off of a great one on one with Mat, But
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: just weighing the options and my own mental health, it
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: just wasn't worth it for me to stick it out.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, do you have any idea why they didn't allow
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: you to speak as much as you thought you were
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: or at all?
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: Was?
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sure you asked. What was the typical response.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they you know, just kind of like pushing
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: it off or being like, oh maybe like let me
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: ask someone else who who has the authority let me
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: just like kind of like diffusing who the decision maker
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: was on that. And you know, I had a one
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: on producer who was with me pretty frequently, and it
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: was weird to see how like even my trust with
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: that person shifted when these basic needs like communicating with
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: my family were kind of shuffled around, and so my
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: perception of reality felt like it was flipped upside down.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: I'm like, who can I trust here? Like I felt
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: like I was trapped. I felt like it was just
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: a really intense time of course, like with the filming
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: and being in a new situation like that plus the
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: family stuff. I felt like it was fight or flight.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: I need to get out of here. I need to
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: be with my family.
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: It was really hard.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: I would think that they'd want you around, and because
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: you you just seemed like a great You're great on TV,
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: you seem to have a good rapport with Matt. Did
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: you just felt like someoney who stood out to us
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: really early on? I thought, like, I think we probably
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: put you in our top four when we do our
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: guesses at the top of the season. So I would
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: think that they'd want you to FaceTime so you could
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: stick around. But I wonder if their initial thought, which
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: is not good, was that not letting you FaceTime would
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: make you more emotional, or that I.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: Would my parents would be worried about me, and they'd
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: see me stressed contemplating everything and be like, yeah, just
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: come home and kind.
• 31:37
  Speaker 5: Of oh, but it could be that what I was
• 31:40
  Speaker 5: already feeling.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, I remember there was like a point
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: when I was in the room and I was looking
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: at there's like no radios, no TV, no clocks, you know,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: and I just felt so trapped. I couldn't talk to
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: my family. And we were in Nema Colan and there
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: was this little farmhouse like across the way, and I
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: literally was like maybe I had this thought, like maybe
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: I could run to that farmhouse and like then I
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: could find like a phone and call my family.
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: Like I was losing my mind.
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: You guys, that's the sign you got to go home.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: So how much pushback was there when you made the
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: decision to go home?
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: It was it was like a five day process. You know.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: It wasn't just like Okay, pack your bags, you can
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: walk out. You know. It was a really lengthy process.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: And just having to wrap up some conversations of course
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: with Matt and like telling him that was really hard
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: with Katie and then found out Katie had also gone
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: through a similar situation losing her dad, and so, you know,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: I'm glad that, you know, I had that conversation with Katie,
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: and since after the show we have become friends, and
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: you know, I just looked back and it was just
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: such a difficult time and for that place I was
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: in life, not the right time or place at that moment.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: So I guess that gives us our reason as to
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: why you haven't done Paradise and probably won't.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: They It's funny they asked if I would be interested
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: in Bachelorette after, you know, and I just thought it
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: was kind of funny because I'm like, you know, I
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: have all this family stuff going on, and as amazing
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: as that would be, as much as I'm a hopeless
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: romantic and I want to find my person, it just
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: wasn't the right time. Even when they asked after that,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: when they were kind of chatting with like Katie and Michelle.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, your your dad was still around, So I would
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: imagine that at that point you were definitely like, I'm
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: not going to leave my dad again. Now that your
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: dad has passed, would you contemplate doing the show again?
• 33:36
  Speaker 5: I don't know, I don't know, honestly.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, so there's hope for us to see you on
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: TV again.
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: There is hope. There is hope.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: You know, there are some great people in Bachelor Nation,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: So I don't know. I definitely want.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: To keep an open mind because I am in such
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: a different place in life.
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: You're totally about to leave for Paradise, aren't you.
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: I don't know. I can't say anything.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we got about two weeks before you'd go fly
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: out there, so I can't wait.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: It's not too late. Honestly, I don't know if I
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: can say this or not. But I'm not going to
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: be on it. But should I just call them up
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: and be like, hey, guys, actually changed my mind.
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let's let's make the push right now. Some of
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: them listen to this. Hey, if you're out there and
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: you're a producer for Bachelor in Paradise, Sarah is open
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: to a conversation about going to the beach.
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: I'll let you know, like, you won't regret it.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: You won't regret it because even the kids, and I
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: call them kids because they're like a decade younger than
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: me at this point, they think it's miserable while they're there,
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: and then a couple months later, they look back on it,
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: and there's like this golden glow of those memories that
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: they have from there.
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: So I think that you'll.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Get a lot from out You'll get a lot from it,
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: even if it's just like growing involving the.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Thing is, though I haven't kept up with it, Honestly,
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: I haven't watched an episode since the one I left.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I didn't even finish watching that season. So I think
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: I would go in there and I would be just
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: a fish out of water.
• 35:09
  Speaker 5: I'd be like, who are you? What season were you onon?
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: Like, I wouldn't know all the drama behind the scenes,
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: which might help me or it might hurt me.
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: So I think you could just find that tuition. Well,
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: let us know if we should push for you.
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: People find success through that, they find their person.
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: But I don't know.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe I should just stick with I don't know, I
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: don't know other ways. I'm not sure. I haven't had
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: much luck, so maybe I gotta go back.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: I never had luck and then and then I had
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: a great luck there after quite some time. Yeah, all right, Well,
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: I guess that means that you're single now and you're
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: still did you have you had anything significant of a
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: relationship since we've last saw you on TV.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: So when I was on the Help I Suck At
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Dating podcast with Jared and we were talking about my
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: current relationship at the time, and so I think that
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: would be the most serious relationship I had since the show.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: And we're no longer together, but wish him well And yeah,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: so I'm single. It's but I think I feel like
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: everyone my age are in the dating pool who was
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: single can agree that dating these days is very different.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: It's really hard, and I don't know. I don't want
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: to like give out.
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: I don't want to lose hope.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: But I'm feeling a little bit jaded about dating life
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: in general at the moment.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: That's exactly when I found Jessica. I got so frustrated.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: I told my family, I don't think I'm going to
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: get married. I think I'm good.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, Ben, you were like twenty eight or
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: twenty nine?
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: Were you twenty nine when you met him her?
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: Oh? Yes, twenty nine. I was like, I'm done, I'm
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: just giving up. And then all of a sudden she
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: popped into my life. Well, obviously we're talking about dating.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: We've talked about your last few years of life. We
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: talked about your time on the show, so obviously today
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: you are a different person than you were on Matt
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: James's season of The Bachelor. You've been through it, You've
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: learned a lot. If you could look back and maybe
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: compare and contrast who you were then and who you
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: are now, and what you're looking for and what you're
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: excited about in life and what you're dreaming towards, what
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: would those things be.
• 37:26
  Speaker 5: That's a good question. Wow, thank you.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: I look back and I would say now I'm a
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: lot more confident and self assured, and I feel like
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: I've found my voice in my late twenties. I think
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: this is kind of a common thread with women. You know,
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: you don't tolerate as much bs with guys and dating.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: You know, you hopefully are a little bit more financially stable,
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: more secure in yourself and just who you are and
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: what you like and don't like. And I think early
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: twenties it's a lot of people pleasing, it's a lot.
• 37:59
  Speaker 5: Of I don't know sure I do this or that.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: And I feel like in the past couple years, I've
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: really found myself of just knowing myself better, which is
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: awesome and exciting and really empowering. But I think the
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: same things that I were looking for, or things I
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: was looking for on the show with Matt still are true.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: I want to be married, I want to have kids.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: I want to find my person that I want I
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: can do life with. I can travel with them, we
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: can literally have fun at the grocery store or just
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: sitting on the couch on a Friday night. Doesn't have
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: to be like amazing trips and travels and romantic all
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: the time, but just somebody who you can do life
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: with in the ups and downs. And maybe what's hard
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: for me is that I feel like I've been through
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: some traumatic and really painful life experiences and so to
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: find somebody who maybe has been through something hard themselves,
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: or at least can empathize and understand just what I've
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: been through is really important for me. So, yeah, that's
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: kind of where I'm at.
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: Those are good goals.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: And as far as career, you know, you were in
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: the starts of a broadcasting career and it just seems
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: like you would really excel at that. Just getting to
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: know you over the past forty five minutes and seeing
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: you on TV or just a natural Where are you
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: and that.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I'm kind of I'm doing a
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: lot of stuff on social media. The advocacy work, the
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: ALS nonprofit work really brings me so much joy and happiness. Yeah,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: but that's something I want to explore of kind of
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: what is my next move. I feel like I finally
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: have come up for air after this crazy past couple
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: of years with the show and with family stuff, losing
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: my dad, you know. So I just feel like now
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: I'm ready to kind of explore other career options and
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: what that would be. And so, I don't know, I'm
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: maybe restarting my pot podcast or doing something back on camera,
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: going on paradise.
• 40:04
  Speaker 5: Who knows? You know, the world is my oyster.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: We don't know, all right, Well, Sarah, it's been a
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: pleasure having you on. Thank you for telling us so
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: much about you know, ALS and where your life is now,
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: and you are your great advocate. Like I think a
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: lot of people are going to leave this podcast knowing
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: a lot more about ALS and being in reaching out
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: to anybody who's affected.
• 40:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you. I really appreciate that.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: I appreciate having the real conversation because it's it's not
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: always easy, but a lot of people are going through it,
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: and you know, of course, if anyone's listening to this,
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: please reach out to me.
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: Join my caregiver community.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: I have a Facebook group of now more than a thousand,
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: mostly young women who are caregivers, mostly for people with als,
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: but other terminal illnesses. We went on a retreat last
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: year to Charleston. We all got in Airbnb and hung
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: out well. So you need like a grief circle, a
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: caregiving circle, you know, just reach out to me. I
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: want to plug people in and support them.
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: What's the name of the Facebook group.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: It's called Sarah's Caregiver Community. Or you could just DM
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: me and we can add you to our WhatsApp channel.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: My phone is always blowing up with like, you know,
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: friends talking on this WhatsApp channel, all caregivers.
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: So it's pretty cool.
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: You're doing amazing work.
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: I hope somebody's I hope you're feeling supported and cared
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: for as well. I hope that as much as you're
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: doing for so many other people, I hope you recognize
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: that your impact and that your sacrifice to them is
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: also coming back on you in some way, and that
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: you're feeling hey, like not only are doing great work,
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: and you're you're making people's lives better, but that you
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: are somebody that needs to know how valued you are
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: as well. And so Sarah, again, to mirror what Ashley said,
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: thank you, thanks for coming on, Thanks for the worth
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: that you're doing, Thanks for the work that you will
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: continue to do. And if there is a producer of
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: Bachelor in Paradise, you are crazy. If you don't give
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: Sarah a call. You have her number, you should do it.
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: Give her the last minute call.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Sarah, thanks for coming on.
• 42:15
  Speaker 5: Thank you guys, thanks for having me.
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: Bye.
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: Thanks to Sarah for coming on. You know, it's one
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: of the beautiful difficulties of life when your new passions
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: and your new purpose comes from your past pain. And
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: when when you talk to somebody like Sarah who has
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: been through something unimaginable, something that, as we said, sucks,
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: there's no good to als, and then decides to use
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: her voice and her life and her presence here in
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: this world to care for others who are going through
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: difficult things. It's not only inspiring tumbling, and it's also beautiful.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: And so Sarah, thanks for coming on here, thanks for
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: sharing your story, thanks for being an advocate for people
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: like my buddy Brandon, and people out there who I
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: don't know the name of, but people that it will
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: be listening and have been affected by this terrible disease. Now,
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: this was an interview with Sarah to talk about her
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: experiences and also advocate for ALS. Because this is ALS
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: Awareness Month, we will still be doing headlines. That episode
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: is out now, so make sure you close out of
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: this episode, take some time to process all the things
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: you've learned about ALS and maybe ways that you can
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: care that doesn't have to be financial, but as Sarah
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: is saying, just with your time and your effort for
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: other people who are hurting, and then tune in because
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: we got some crazy headlines this week. Someone's to celebrate.
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: So we'll be back. It's posted now with the Almost
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: Famous podcast. Until then, I've Been Ben, I've Been Ashley Bay.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: Followed the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.