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How do narcissists feel about their parents? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're answering the question, how do narcissists
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  feel about their parents? Spicy, Spicy.
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  Spicy. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of the
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  Narcissist Code. So welcome back, welcome back.
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  Welcome back. The elusive question that I get
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  a lot on this channel. A lot.
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  Everywhere. I don't just on this channel.
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  Y'all if y'all don't know, I'm. I'm on YouTube.
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  TikTok, Instagram. Facebook.
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  I'm everywhere. Twitter.
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  You know man, I tweet a little bit, Not so much, but I tweet a
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  little bit here and there. But how do narcissists feel
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  about their parents or the people who raise them?
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  This is a very nuanced question because of course, of course, of
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  course everybody's situation is going to be different every
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  there's no two narcissists that are exactly the same or have the
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  exact same thoughts about their parents.
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  So let's get that out the way, 'cause I know, I know it's
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  coming. My narcissist, the current, my
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  narcissist X didn't do this, mine didn't do that.
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  Yeah, I understand that there is no two narcissists that are
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  exactly the same. So they, of course they're going
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  to feel differently about their parents.
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  Let's just be let's just get that out of the way.
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  So with that being said, narcissistic people, there are a
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  lot of, a lot of narcissists who hate.
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  It's going crazy. There are some narcissists who
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  internally don't like their parents.
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  They internally have a disdain or some contempt for their
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  parents. They really cannot stand their
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  parents, right? They can't stand it, but they
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  don't show it outwardly that that you might can tell that
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  they or they might even be telling you a bunch of negative
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  things about their parents or how their mom or dad abused them
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  growing up or abandoned them growing up, right?
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  But they'll still be talking to those parents or dealing with
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  those parents and whatnot because they just feel like they
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  owe them something. It's like I'm in debt to you.
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  The narcissistic parents sometimes, if they're abusive,
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  have conditioned that narcissistic person that was a
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  child at once. They're an adult now.
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  Maybe that they owe a debt to them.
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  Like I'm indebted to you. I might not care for you too
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  much. I might have a lack of empathy
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  towards my parents, but I feel like I'm indebted to them for
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  raising me, for bringing me into this earth or whatever.
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  Whatever it is you know, they feel like they have a debt to
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  them now. Are there some narcissists who
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  don't like their parents and will show them hourly and cut
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  their parents off? Yes, there's some narcissists
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  that will cut their parents off because their parents try to
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  hold them accountable. Their parents parent or parents.
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  Some of them, you know, everybody's household is going
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  to be different. Their parents or parents try to
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  hold them accountable or do something like that.
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  Their parents or parents try to make, you know, make things
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  right or try to get them, steer them in the right direction.
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  Some of their parents will actually do that and that
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  narcissistic person will show, Some show out, really express
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  that contempt toward their towards that that that parents
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  or parents that you know that is trying to hold them accountable
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  or something along those lines that happens so much, you know.
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  So I tell people like if you are dealing with this situation, the
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  This is why you see a lot of narcissistic parents that might
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  not be toxic to themselves, but they are enabling the narcissist
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  behaviors because they're scared to try to hold them accountable
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  because they have in their mindset.
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  Like, if I hold this person accountable, Derek, if I hold my
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  child accountable, they might cut me off.
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  If I hold my son or my daughter accountable for their actions or
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  I tell them you're doing this wrong, they might actually take
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  the steps in cutting me off. So that most a lot of
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  narcissistic people don't want to deal with, like not a parent
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  that want to deal with that, like a narcissist.
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  They want to condition those parents to fear them sometimes.
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  You know, like I said, the ones that that outwardly show that
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  contempt, they want to condition that parent to feel, to fear
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  them. Like I will cut you off.
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  You know I will do this. I'm showing you contempt.
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  I'm showing you that I outwardly am angry at you or whatever.
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  I hold grudges against you for how I was raised or my childhood
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  or how I turned out. I hold, I hold you responsible
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  for that. So that happens quite a bit in
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  toxic relationship dynamics where they will hold you
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  responsible. They will hold their parents
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  responsible for who they are, you know, especially they are
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  emotionally stunted or whatever. The narcissistic person.
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  They expect their parents to take care of them sometimes.
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  You know, they they just really never ever grow up.
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  They expect that parent to take care of them.
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  Like I I need you to take care of me.
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  But this is the space right here though.
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  So that's if the the parents are together, if the parents are
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  separated and a narcissistic person never got validation from
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  one parent but got it from another one, that is weird.
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  Y'all because a narcissist and their mothers, mothers, their
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  mothers is a very unique dynamic because you get a narcissistic
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  men that could have this emotionally incestuous
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  relationship with their mothers. It's just like son, husband,
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  son, boyfriend. They play the role of the the
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  mother's significant other in a weird and emotional way.
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  Not physical in a weird emotional way, you know?
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  And that can make the narcissistic person just have
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  this weird dynamic where they love and cherish and they
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  worship their parent, their mother.
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  You know, they might hate the mother because the father's not
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  around, some of them hate the mother because the father's not
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  around and they hate women as a result of that.
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  Like I hate my I I have this. I have a have I feel contempt
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  and hatred towards women because my mom pushed my dad away or my
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  mom picked a bad father and I got to grow up in a one parent
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  household. So I'm blaming my mom.
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  You see how that happens sometimes.
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  Even though the other parent could have just left, Could have
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  just been abandoned them. Then the father or the mother,
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  whichever 1 abandoned them. Could be a narcissist and just
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  abandoned the kids, but they hold the parent that's still
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  there responsible. You see, like you stayed, so it
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  must be your fault. You pushed them away.
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  You push my other parent away. So that happens a lot of times.
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  Right there in that space, right there, right there.
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  Y'all. So narcissist.
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  I'm not saying the narcissist hate their parents.
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  There are some, there are some out there that absolutely feel a
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  certain way about their parents, like and they just will make
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  their parents feel that they are blame.
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  And so if a narcissist grows up, right, and they don't accomplish
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  the goals that they set out to accomplish, they tend to blame
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  the parent for them not accomplishing that goal.
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  Like, I didn't accomplish my goals.
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  So my, it's my parents fault because they didn't, they didn't
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  provide me access to this. They didn't provide me access to
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  that. They treated my brother or my
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  sister better than they treated me.
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  So it's their fault I turned out the way that I, you know, So
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  it's their fault I turned out the way I turned out.
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  It can't be my fault. I turned out the way I turned
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  out because my parents, you know, as an adult, you know,
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  most people need to take. I mean, I'm not saying the
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  parents were not abusive because there are some abusive, toxic
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  parents that are responsible for how their kids turned out
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  because they lacked that emotional connectivity to their
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  kids and then neglected their kids emotionally and sometimes
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  physically. But a narcissistic person will
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  never let that grudge go. They will continuously hold on
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  to that grudge for the entirety of their life.
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  You know, the entire when I say entirety, I mean the entirety of
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  their life. They will never let it go.
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  So you hear them talking bad about their parents, you know,
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  and treating their parents horribly.
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  But that's a yeah, if they, I'm not saying everybody's situation
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  is the same, But if they are talking negatively about their
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  parents. Right.
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  And they are treating their parents horribly in front of
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  you, I feel like that might could be a red flag for you out
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  there that goes off, you know, because like, you know how
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  people say how man treats his mother is how he'll treat you if
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  they're treating their mother terribly in front of you, they
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  could be a red flag. You know what?
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  I'm just saying? This is absolute red flag
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  because everybody's situation is going to be different of course,
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  but it could be red flaggy, you know, it could be red flaggy.
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  That's why I call it red flaggy. It's not a full blown red flag,
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  but it's it's red and it's the wind is picking up, you know
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  what I mean? So there are a lot of
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  narcissistic people like, I mean y'all had like y'all know how.
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  I mean, you've dealt with narcissistic people before, but
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  if their parent is toxic and they have a toxic child and a
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  toxic child, that still may be depended upon them.
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  And I said it might not like the parent, but keep the parent
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  around. Allow the parent to have this
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  weird type of control in their life and not just, you know,
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  have no, have no boundaries with their parents, Their parent
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  still treats them like a kid. Pretty much not.
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  They don't have that narcissistic person that's grown
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  up now, has no autonomy over what they want to do or how
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  they're living their lives, you know what I mean?
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  But that happens quite a bit too.
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  So I tell people, if you're in this situation, this is what
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  laid out, this is what's going to happen.
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  They are going to hold their parents responsible for who they
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  are. And like I said, and they might
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  actually still keep looking at their parents like they're in
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  control of their life. Like you, OK, you my parent, you
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  control my like you my parent. I turn out this way, you are
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  responsible for who I am. So I just tell people this right
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  here and a lot of times, y'all I'll say this right here.
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  And this would be my my little closing note.
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  A lot of times they're going to put that parent above you.
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  If they have like a parent in their life, they're going to
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  that parent is going to be put above you consistently.
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  They're going to put their their mom or their dad in front of you
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  all the time. And they're going to do a lot of
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  different things to you because like I said, a narcissistic, you
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  know, a narcissistic woman that's competing with her
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  mother. It's going to be, it's a weird
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  dynamic as well because the narcissistic women, they compete
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  with, their moms or just always, always trying to get that
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  validation from their moms is going to be different too.
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  Or trying to get that validation from their father is going to be
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  different. Sometimes a narcissistic person
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  hates that. They need that validation from
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  their parents. And they will.
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  They will take it out on the people closer to them, like how
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  they feel about their parents is sometimes or a lot of times how
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  they end up treating their significant others.
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  So I try to tell people like, don't you know, don't, don't.
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  It's not about you. Sometimes it's how they feel
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  about their parents. So they're treating you a
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  certain type of way because they're expressing something
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  that happened. They're expressing something
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  that happened in their childhood.
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  They're taking out on their right there.
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  Y'all. So that was I have to tell
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  people y'all. So thank y'all for tuning into
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  this episode right here. Y'all, make sure you like and
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  subscribe to the channel if you haven't already.
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  Thank you. Thank you.
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  Thank you. As always.
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  Y'all, Mr. Hill is out. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
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• 11:11
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.