Latest / Calvary Church with Ed Taylor Podcast / #20250205 - When Love Must Confront - Matthew 18:15-20

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#20250205 - When Love Must Confront - Matthew 18:15-20 · Calvary Church with Ed Taylor Podcast

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Welcome to the study of God's Word recorded live at Calvary
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Church in Aurora, Co. To learn more about the many
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resources available through Abounding Grace Media or to tune
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into our live stream services, visit us online at Calvary Co
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dot Church or download our free Calvary Church app.
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Now let's open our Bibles and study God's Word.
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When love must confront how to resolve an offense, Matthew
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chapter 18 verses 15 through 20 is where we'll be.
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So Matthew 18 here is dealing with interpersonal relationships
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in the culture of the Kingdom of God.
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We, we are people that live in this world, but we're just
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sojourners passing through. We're pilgrims, we're part of
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another Kingdom. And the Bible calls that the
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Kingdom of God. Matthew speaks a lot about this
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Kingdom. And so here we get the privilege
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of living for that Kingdom as we travel through this world on our
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way to to be citizens of that Kingdom fully.
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And Matthew 18 is the fourth of five different discourses that
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Jesus speaks of, and they're all here in the book of Matthew.
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So the theme of Matthew 18 is child likeness and forgiveness.
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And what Jesus wants us to understand in this particular
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chapter is that God loves us. So we in turn then can love
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other people, and that looks like forgiveness.
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That's one of the things that Jesus speaks of.
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How do we forgive one another, especially when somebody has
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wronged us? And then of course, he speaks
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about getting along with one another.
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That's one of the themes here. How do we get along with people
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in the church as believers that are so different from us?
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And that that person that just drives me crazy.
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Yet I know they're a brother. I know they're a sister.
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And Jesus tackles that here. He speaks about how love is to
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be the mark of every single believer.
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And he says people will know that we're the disciples of
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Jesus by our love for one another.
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And, and I can say I, I believe, of course, we're not a perfect
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church, but I do believe we are a loving church, that we love
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one another. If people come into these back
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doors and visit us, I I hope and pray and believe that they feel
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loved by the people in this church.
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Then in verses 10 through 14 here, Jesus tells a parable, and
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we're all familiar with this parable about a man that loses a
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sheep. Really the sheep leaves all the
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other sheep. And it says that what this man
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does is he leaves the 99 sheep and the sheepfold and he goes to
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seek and save that one sheep, to return it back again to the
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flock. And so if God treats us that
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way, because that one sheep that is honoree, that does his own
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thing and leaves, that's a picture of us.
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We all like sheep have gone astray.
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So if God treats us that way, then Jesus is about ready to
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address this idea that we need to treat others the same way.
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But what about those that have offended us, those that have
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sinned against us? How do we resolve that kind of
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offence with people among us? So we're going to, again,
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according to these verses, beginning here in verse 15,
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we're going to look at tonight a process that Jesus speaks of
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when it comes to needing to speak to another person that has
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wronged us or sinned against us. How do we do that?
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And I hope tonight that the Lord speaks to our hearts on this.
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I think that I've seen many believers in the church not
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understand this. And I think one of the reasons
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is because they haven't really seen this three-step process,
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which is pretty plain. Jesus makes it very, very
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straight up for us. But but it's not practised a
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lot. We don't see it a lot in the
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church, and so when somebody has sinned against us, we don't
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often go to this three-step process that Jesus is about
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ready to give us. Usually what happens is if
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somebody hurts me, somebody offends me, somebody wrongs me
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in a sinful way, whether it was intentional or unintentional.
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Usually what happens is that person doesn't do anything about
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it. They just sort of let it go.
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But what can happen is now I'm harboring bitterness towards
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that person because now every time I see that person come in,
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there's just that little bit of like angst in me.
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Every time I see that person, I just get, I'm all bristled when
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they walk in. And what can happen,
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unfortunately, is that bitterness can, can create a
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hard heart in US. Or what happens is people will
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start to gossip with everybody else.
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They'll, they'll speak about the person that did them wrong to
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everybody but that person. And I've been guilty of that
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before. The Lord has had to speak to me
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on these things. And again, the the point is we
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don't deal with it right away. And Jesus is saying we need to
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deal with these things. There's there's things that are
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more important and and there's bigger states in all of this.
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And our relationship and our love for one another is key,
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especially as those that are citizens in the Kingdom of God.
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So when a believer wrongs another believer, that's what
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we're going to speak about tonight.
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OK, you guys ready for this? OK, three steps.
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Jesus gives us first step. If you're taking notes #1 if
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somebody sins against you, go privately.
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That's our first point. Go privately to them and don't
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go anywhere else. Go to that person.
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Verse 15 here Jesus would say this.
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If your brother sins against you and you could write next to the
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word if there and put when a brother sins against you,
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because it is going to happen. It is going to happen If you're
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a part of this church for any amount of time, somebody here is
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going to offend you. Somebody here is going to sin
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against you. So if a brother or if your
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brother sins against you, go to him and tell him his fault
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between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have
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won your brother. So the great preacher Charles
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Spurgeon, in his commentary on this verse says that this is the
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offended going to the offender. This is the offended going to
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the offender. And and to be clear, this is not
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somebody that just disagrees with you.
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This isn't somebody that maybe has a different opinion that you
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have. That's not what I mean when I
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say offense, or I'm offended because I don't like the fact
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that you have tattoos, or I'm offended because I don't like
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the style of worship you guys have here in the church or
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because everybody can be offended about everything.
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That's not what he's talking about.
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This is if somebody has wronged you.
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Again, intentionally or unintentionally, Jesus says
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here, if your brother has sinned against you.
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So it's interesting because again, back in verses 10 through
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14, Jesus gives the picture there of his Father the shepherd
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going after the one who has gone astray.
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And then Jesus takes it a step further here in these verses and
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says, if somebody has offended you, if somebody has offended
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you, go to them, go to them. If the offended person has been
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hurt, sinned against, and then Jesus says you as the offended,
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go to the offender. Or if you've been attacked or if
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you've been hurt, or if you've been wronged by another person,
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or if they've stumbled you in some way, go to them.
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Go to them. By the way, there's a flip side
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to this as well. We won't turn there, but Matthew
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chapter 523 through 24 says that there's another way that this
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works out in the church as well. There Jesus would say, so if you
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are offering your gift on the altar and there you remember
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your brother or sister has something against you.
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In other words, you've been the offender.
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Jesus says leave your gift there in front of the altar first.
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Go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come
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and offer your gift or then come and worship.
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So if you're coming to worship and the Lord lays on your heart
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and you know so and so brother so and so or sister so and so,
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you had that little interaction. Go to them as the one that got
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angry at them in the parking lot.
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You know, go to them if you said something because you were
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having a bad day and just make it right with them.
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So then you can come and worship without anything standing in the
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way. Jesus says.
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If you realize that when you come to worship you've wronged
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somebody and you're the offender, what's the point of
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coming to worship if you're not going to be obedient when you
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know that you've broken a brother or a sister's heart in
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some way? So go back, make that right if
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you're the guilty one, and then come back and offer your gift.
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Then come back and worship, Jesus says.
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But that's the flip side of Matthew 18 here in Matthew 18,
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if you are the one that has been offended, now it would be great
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if the offender would come to you and ask for forgiveness and
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apologize, but that's not what Jesus says here.
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He does say that earlier. So hopefully if the offended
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person is walking, being filled with the Spirit and reading the
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word of God, then hopefully they will come to you.
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But if not, and you're the offended one, if your brother
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sins against you, the mandate is for for you to go to them.
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It's a hard thing to do. I get it.
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It says you go to him and I love this.
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You go to him alone, Alone. That's such a beautiful word.
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I love that when Jesus needs to make a settlement, he he, he
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makes a quiet settlement. As one old preacher used to say,
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a quiet settlement. This is the way heaven does
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things, that Jesus is never wanting to embarrass any of us.
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Jesus is never wanting to publicly humiliate any of us.
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That is not his heart and I'm so thankful for that.
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Jesus says here, go tell him his fault between you and him alone,
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alone. I'm so thankful that God has no
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desire to humiliate me because there's a lot that I could be
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embarrassed about from my lifetime.
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Certainly when there are things in my heart that are wrong or if
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I have sinned, I'm so thankful that Jesus will not put it on
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the screen in front of all of you guys.
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I'm thankful that Jesus will come to me quietly.
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Jesus will come to me when I'm alone and he'll speak to me on
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these things. I'm so thankful that that is the
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heart that Jesus has. And so again it says verse 15,
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if your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault
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between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have
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won your brother. So go to him alone.
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Again, the offended with the offender.
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Don't put it on Facebook. Don't put it on Instagram.
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I see that happen a lot. Don't just unfollow the person,
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right, and kind of be passive aggressive in that way.
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I don't gossip with another person about them.
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That happens in the church a lot under the guise of being
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spiritual. We can do that in a prayer
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meeting. We can tell everybody that's
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there what that person did to wrong me.
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And it's a good reminder. If you're talking to another
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person about somebody and you're sharing what they did to you
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that that hurt you and you're not going to that person about
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it, then that is gossip. Another way of defining gossip,
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and you see this all throughout the Proverbs.
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Gossip is defined as spreading rumours or sharing private
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information about others without their consent or approval.
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It's often characterized by the intent to harm someone's
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reputation or to cause division. Now, you might be thinking,
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well, yeah, but I'm, I'm trying to go to somebody here in the
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church that has more wisdom than me, somebody that I know that
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can counsel me and kind of share with me what I'm supposed to do.
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Well, then if your friend is a wise counselor, then this is
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what's going to happen. Your friend will stop you as you
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begin to speak about that person, and they'll say, hey,
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hey, hold on a second. I appreciate you wanting to
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share with me. But have you gone to that
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person? Have you talked to that person
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yet? And if the answer is no, then
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your wise friend is going to say, well, I'll tell you what,
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go do that. Go express your hurt or your
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offense to that person and see if you can work it out with
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them. That would be the way that Jesus
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would tell us to do it. It would be the way to honor
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him. And you can be that wise friend,
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by the way, because gossip takes 2, not just the person that's
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sharing, but the person that's really enjoying listening to the
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latest gossip, right? We can, we can be guilty of that
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as well. So Jesus says this.
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No, you go to that brother, you go to that sister.
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Don't sit around and have a pity party, which we're all prone to
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do. Go to them alone.
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Again, Thank you Jesus for that. And look, when you go privately
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to this brother or when you go privately to this sister, the
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purpose isn't to vent. The purpose isn't to make them
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feel so horrible about what they've done to you.
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Like you hurt me, so I'm going to come hurt you back.
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Now, don't go with a critical spirit.
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That's not the heart. There is a way that we're
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supposed to do this as well. Ask for the filling of the Holy
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Spirit and then go in His power. Pray about it before you go to
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them, before you talk, ask that the Lord would give you His
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heart for this person. Then verse 15 continues and says
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if he listens to you, you have won your brother.
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And that is the the heart behind all of this.
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It's reconciliation. God is a God that loves to
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reconcile us first towards him and then towards one another.
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So the goal is not to win the arguments.
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The goal is to win the brother or to win the sister again.
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It's not to prove how you're right and they're wrong.
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My wife and I, when we would get in arguments, we did it once
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back 20 years ago, but we would always talk about being a right
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fighter and, and we would start arguing about stuff.
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And all of a sudden now we're arguing about the dumbest thing
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because it's spiraled into just, you said this, well, you meant
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it this way. And we realized we just, we were
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fighting to be right. That was all we, we could forget
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what the initial thing was about.
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Now we're just fighting to be right.
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And that can happen sometimes. So you're not going to this
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person to prove that you were right.
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You're going to this person in a heart of humility and just
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think, Hey, I just, I just want to let you know that that when
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you did that or when you said that, it really hurt me.
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And I just want to honor Jesus by coming to you.
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And I want to honor you by coming to you and letting you
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know that because I care for you, I love you.
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And you may not have even known this, but I don't want anything
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to stand in the way of my heart. I know how my heart can get.
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I can ruminate on this. I can think about this.
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I can stay up late at night. It can bug me.
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I can grind it. I don't want any of that.
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I just want to release it and just let you know.
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Just let you know and it says, if you do this and if this
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brother or the sister listens to you, then you have won them.
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I love that word won. It's a, it's a word from the
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marketplace, a Greek word from the marketplace, which means to
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acquire or to accumulate wealth. And so it's interesting that if
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your brother who has offended you will hear you.
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And if your brother or your sister says, you know what,
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you're right. I I did blow it.
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Yeah, you're right. I did say that.
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I I shouldn't have done that. Will you please forgive me?
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That wasn't my intention or, or I was, you know, whatever it was
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that. Yeah, please, please forgive me.
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It now says if that happens and reconciliation has been
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achieved, you have won your brother back again, even if it's
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in your own heart, and you have gained something that was lost.
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And I believe the way Jesus will look at this is you've acquired
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spiritual wealth now that will stay with you for all eternity,
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even if you were the only one that knew about it.
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So this is the way it should be done.
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And how good it would be for us if we just simply obeyed Jesus
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in this. That's all he's asking for.
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Guys, trust me, if you do it my way, Jesus says it will go well
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with you. It will, it will work out well
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and I'll and I'll bless it and I'll move in the process here.
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Sadly, what happens so often is that we are cowardly when it
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comes to these things. It's easier to talk about others
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and it's hard to go to that person.
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And this can be the case in any outside of the church as well.
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This can be the case in in our marriage.
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It can be the case at work. But there is something here that
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we need to understand that we are trying to gain that's bigger
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than me being hurt or me being offended.
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I'm trying to win a brother. That's what Jesus is saying
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here. And, and I believe that if we
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skip this step and we just go to step #2 which we're going to
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look at that we've very likely reduced our opportunity to, to
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win that brother over or to be reconciled in the way that Jesus
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would, would want us to. So again, what happens then if
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you go to that person and you share this, you've prayed over
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it, you've asked God to give you love for them when your heart is
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saying something the opposite, but you're honoring him, you
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obey him, you go to him, and that person blows you off.
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Or the person could care less that you feel the way that you
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feel or, or they are obstinate, right?
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They, they don't see that what they did was send to you.
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Then we're bound by Scripture here to take the second step.
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So after going privately, and if that doesn't work out, then the
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way that we go, our second step #2 is to get some help #2 get
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some help #1 go privately #2 get some help.
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Verse 16, it says this. But if he won't listen, if he
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refuses to listen, take one or two others with you.
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He's going to say at the the second-half of this verse, two
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or three witnesses there, but he says take one or two others with
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you so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses, every
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fact may be established. What he doesn't say is go get
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your posse together, right. He doesn't say go get all your
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homies and show up at their front door and give them a piece
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of your mind. No, that's not at all.
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You've already talked to the person, you've already shared
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your heart with them. You've already expressed that
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there's been something that is between the two of you, and the
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idea is that now you want to take one or two or three mature,
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solid, good, godly people with you.
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And the reason that's important is because you want them to be
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people that are more concerned for the cause of Christ than
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just taking sides in an argument.
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They understand what's at stake. They understand that Jesus shed
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his blood so that we can forgive one another, because we are
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forgiven people. So we don't start here at #2 we
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start by going privately, one-on-one.
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If he or she doesn't listen, then we find two or three
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witnesses, godly, mature witnesses.
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We discuss with them the situation.
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We pray with them, we get their counsel, and then we go back
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with them to the offender. And sometimes having witnesses
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can be helpful anyway. They can observe the interaction
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that you have with the person that's offended you, so it
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doesn't become a he said, she said kind of a thing.
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There's no false accusations that come out of it because now
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you've got other people there to observe the situation.
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But only do this only bring the two or three witnesses if you've
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tried to talk to the person who hurt you alone first, OK, verse
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16 so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses, every
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fact may be established. So then they can see what's
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wrong. And by the way, they can also
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see what's wrong in you too. If they're like, bro, you're,
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you know, you're just as guilty as this person is or you the way
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that you're handled that or you need to take this anger that's
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in your heart to the Lord, because this isn't going to be
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helpful at all. You're still, you're still
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holding on to this bitterness. But they can see what's wrong,
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they can understand the situation, they can examine the
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evidence, and then they can discern here how the Scripture
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would speak to this situation. Because you don't want them.
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You don't want to ask him, what's your opinion on this?
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You want them to say, well, what, how does the word of God
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instruct me to deal with this person that that I'm holding on
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to this, this bitterness over? Now, if you would really quickly
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turn to me, turn with me to Deuteronomy chapter 19.
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If you're new to the Bible and you're like Deuteronomy, that's
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the 5th book of the Bible. So right towards the beginning
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there Deuteronomy chapter 19 and I just want to read something
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here that speaks to this verses 15 through 20, Deuteronomy 1915
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through 20 and says this verse 15, one witness shall not rise
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against a man concerning any iniquity or any sin that he
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commits by the mouth of two or three witnesses.
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The matter shall be established. If a false witness rises against
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any man to testify against him of wrongdoing, then both men in
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the controversy shall stand before the Lord, before the
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priests and the judges who serve in those days.
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And if the judges shall make careful inquiry, and indeed if
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the witness is a false witness who has testified falsely
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against his brother, then you shall do to him as he thought to
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have done to his brother. So you shall put away the evil
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from among you, and those who remain shall hear and fear, and
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hereafter they shall not again commit such evil among you.
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So this would come as being part of the synagogue, as a Jew, we
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know the disciples were raised and taught in the synagogue.
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There was discipline that was understood by the people in
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Judaism in many ways, perhaps more than some of us in the
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church today understand this, and they understood that if
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there was somebody in the group that was in sin, then the group
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would have to get involved. If it was unrepentant sin,
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willful sin, in many ways like a family.
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If you ever have had a family meeting and you needed to sit
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down or an intervention, the group gets involved here.
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It's very communal, and so is the body of Christ, by the way.
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So we see this in the Old Testament.
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We just read it. We see it with Jesus in the New
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Testament. Again, if there are issues among
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brothers and sisters, Jesus would say, handle it in the
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assembly of God's people. We'll explain what that means.
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But handle these things with one another in the church, not the
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courtroom, not the courtroom. First Corinthians chapter 6
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explicitly forbids a Christian to take another Christian to
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courts or to sue another Christian.
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And we see that all the time. All the time.
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Even this week, probably two or three different things came out
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about Christians suing other, other Christians.
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And it's in the media and and it affects our testimony and the
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cause of Christ. When we do that.
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There's a watching world that sees these things.
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But just because it's happening doesn't mean it's the right
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thing to do. Again, these matters should be
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handled among God's people in the church assembly.
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It happened in the Old Testament.
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It happened in the synagogue in the New Testament, and Jesus is
23:26
saying it ought to happen in the church as well.
23:30
So you can turn back to Matthew 18.
23:33
If you've taken step #1, then you've gone privately and it
23:36
hasn't yielded any fruit. No steps were taken towards
23:39
reconciliation, no confession, and then you've taken step #2.
23:45
You get some help, you bring one or two or three godly wise
23:50
witnesses with you, and they've examined the evidence that that
23:54
brother or sister has in fact sinned against you, that they
23:57
have caused that offence. Then you go to step #3 and this
24:02
would be the last step for you to take.
24:05
Step #3 would be get the help of the church #3 get the help of
24:11
the church. And we see this in verse 17.
24:14
It says this if he doesn't pay attention to them.
24:19
The word suggests here that he's not willing because the the will
24:23
of the person is involved in this.
24:26
So if he doesn't pay attention to them, tell the church.
24:31
If he doesn't pay attention even to the church, let him be like a
24:35
Gentile and a tax collector to you.
24:39
Now, when it says the church here, I believe that what he's
24:42
talking about are the the church leaders, those that represent
24:45
the church, the elders of the church, the pastors of the
24:48
church. I don't think what Jesus is
24:50
saying is bring it before the entire congregation and air all
24:54
of this dirty laundry in the public gathering at some point.
24:57
That would be out of control if that was the case.
24:59
Plus there's visitors that are here now that that wouldn't be,
25:03
I don't think an appropriate way of, of, of determining what
25:08
Jesus is saying here. Again, if you have your two or
25:10
three witnesses, they've gone with you to help verify the
25:13
situation. Jesus says the last step you
25:16
take is you tell the church that you go to the church leaders,
25:20
you go to the church elders, you speak to them about this.
25:24
And, and if it doesn't bring reconciliation even at that
25:28
point in time, then the church has a decision to make now and
25:32
the decision is now out of your hands.
25:34
So you've done the three-step process and the elders and the
25:38
leaders of the church are now responsible to determine how do
25:41
we move forward here with this? I will say this, there are times
25:46
when if the sin has been public, the sin needs to be dealt with
25:52
publicly as well. And this is hard, For example,
25:56
when a pastor, and This is why I ask you to pray for all of us as
26:00
pastors, when a pastor has disqualified himself from
26:03
ministry. And if there's a great moral
26:06
failure in the pastor's heart, pastor's life, adultery or
26:10
other, some kind of egregious sin, misappropriation of funds,
26:15
maybe he was abusive in some way, or maybe he was dividing
26:18
the church. These are very, very difficult
26:21
situations, but they do happen. Anyone that's been around the
26:25
church long enough knows that this happens.
26:27
It's difficult for the pastors and the elders.
26:30
It's difficult for the church that's hearing this news about
26:33
one of their pastors. It's difficult for the person
26:36
that's sinned and for their families.
26:39
It's heartbreaking and we want to be as gracious as we can
26:43
possibly be, but there are times when the elders of the church
26:46
need to come to the church and just say, look, this happened.
26:49
This pastor fell in the sin and we're we're needing to let you
26:51
know about this. But I don't believe that's what
26:55
Jesus is referring to here. I think that's something
26:57
different. I think that what Jesus is
27:00
referring to here is after this process and you bring it to your
27:03
church leaders, the elders, the pastors.
27:07
And by the way, the the word church here is interesting
27:09
because because the church didn't really wasn't really
27:11
birthed until the book of Acts. But this is the second time that
27:15
Jesus uses this word church, which just simply means the
27:18
gathering of, of God's people. So he's just talking about that
27:21
as, as as God's people gather. It's not about the building,
27:23
it's about us, the people. So after bringing this to the
27:27
church leaders, if this person refuses to hear the church
27:30
leaders and the church leaders are the collective biblical
27:35
counsel of God, then Jesus says here let him be like a Gentile
27:40
or let him be like an unbeliever would be another way of putting
27:43
that. Let him be a tax collector to
27:45
you. A tax collector was considered a
27:47
traitor. So Jesus says if this person is
27:51
in willful, unrepentant sin, they don't care.
27:53
They they're just going to do that.
27:55
Then at some point you need to treat him like he's an
27:58
unbeliever and he and, and really you need to at that point
28:02
begin to evangelize the poor brother or sister because their
28:05
lack of response is concerning enough that perhaps maybe
28:07
they're not even really born again if they've gone through
28:10
all of this and they're still not willing to reconcile with a
28:14
brother or let him be like a traitor tax collector.
28:18
So this is what we call a church discipline.
28:22
This doesn't just happen overnight, by the way.
28:25
This isn't like after two or three meetings, we're ready to
28:28
kick somebody out of the church. That's not at all the heart
28:31
behind this. Usually if this does happen, and
28:34
in most cases, thankfully, we don't get to this this point.
28:38
So this isn't something that happens, not even on a yearly
28:41
basis. I think in this particular
28:43
church, Pastor Ed's talked about this.
28:44
It's only happened I think a couple of times or a small
28:46
handful of times. But when it does happen, a lot
28:50
of time is usually passed. There's been so much opportunity
28:56
given a lot of grace for this person to repent.
29:00
There's been a lot of praying by the church elders.
29:03
This is not something that any pastor enjoys.
29:05
There's a lot of tears that are shed over this.
29:08
And if it does come to this, I can tell you because I've been
29:11
on this, the other side of this as, as needing to make a
29:14
decision with the with the elders.
29:17
It is painful. It is painful.
29:20
It's, it's like removing a part of your body from you and it's
29:24
hard, but Jesus tells us that this is the process.
29:29
This is the necessary, these are the necessary steps to take when
29:34
it comes to this. Again, the entire purpose of the
29:37
three steps that Jesus gives here is to take this person that
29:44
has offended or wronged somebody and bring them to a point of
29:49
reconciliation so that there's nothing that stands in between
29:52
us. I got to, I got to share my
29:54
heart, I honoured God, I obeyed him when I did that.
29:57
And hopefully now I got to win you over as a brother or a
29:59
sister. If you're ever, by the way, in a
30:01
counselling situation with any of the pastors here at the
30:04
church and something like this comes up an issue.
30:07
I can tell you without a doubt, Matthew 18 is going to come up.
30:10
Every single pastor is going to say to you, well, first, did you
30:13
go to that person? And if they say no, that's going
30:15
to be their counsel to you. Well, why don't you go do that
30:18
first? And I can help you with how to
30:19
do that and maybe some things to say to them the right way to do
30:22
that. But the heart of Jesus is to
30:27
reconcile. I'm so thankful for that.
30:29
So let's look very quickly at an actual case study of this that
30:34
we have in Scripture here and how this played out here in
30:37
Scripture. So if you want to turn very
30:39
briefly to 1st Corinthians chapter 5, we're going to take a
30:43
look at how this looked in the early church, in particular this
30:46
church at Corinth. And they were having an issue in
30:50
the church. So they wrote Paul about this
30:52
issue. Paul wrote a letter to the
30:54
church at Corinth that we don't have that went missing.
30:58
Evidently they wrote him back again with some more issues, and
31:02
Paul wrote another letter to them, and that's the letter that
31:04
we have here, First Corinthians. And one of their questions was
31:08
about this very issue, something that was happening in the church
31:10
that required Paul to speak into the situation.
31:14
And of course, the Holy Spirit was inspiring Paul to write
31:17
these down because it becomes scripture for us and it becomes
31:21
how we now practice these things as well.
31:23
So verse one, first Corinthians 5 says this.
31:26
And Paul here is dealing with the situation where a man is in
31:29
sexual sin. And, and and that was one of the
31:33
questions, Paul, how do we, how do we deal with this?
31:35
So Paul says, verse one, it's actually reported that there is
31:39
sexual immorality among you. And such sexual immorality has
31:43
not even named among the Gentiles.
31:46
He says here that a man has his father's wife, so very likely,
31:51
by the way, this relationship was with the man's stepmother,
31:57
so it would be here the the mother by his father's marriage.
32:02
But the problem here was that the church was misunderstanding
32:06
God's grace. God's grace was a new concept,
32:10
and it was so wonderful and so good, but they were
32:12
misunderstanding it. So what they were doing is they
32:14
were accepting this man, tolerating this man, just
32:18
letting the sin go as if it was nothing.
32:20
And Paul needs to address that here.
32:22
Paul says #2 you are verse 2, you are puffed up.
32:27
And the idea is they were so proud that they were so tolerant
32:30
and affirming of this man in the sexual sin.
32:34
He says, and you are puffed up and you've not rather mourned
32:39
than he who has done this deed might be taken away from among
32:43
you. Paul's saying here, rather than
32:46
affirming you should be heartbroken for this man that
32:50
because he's an unrepentant sin, he needs to be excommunicated
32:54
from the fellowship. Paul says that should break your
32:56
heart. Rather than being proud that
32:58
you're allowing this to happen, you should be heartbroken that
33:01
that that that he's he's not willing to to turn from this
33:06
verse 3 For I indeed as absent in the body because Paul's
33:09
writing a letter here, but present in spirit have already
33:13
judged as though I were present. I've already judged him who has
33:17
so done this deed. Verse four in the name of our
33:19
Lord Jesus Christ when you are gathered together along with my
33:23
spirit with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ deliver such a
33:27
one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh.
33:30
That is a powerful word and notice this the point that his
33:34
spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
33:38
So Paul's saying here you deliver him out from the church
33:41
gathering to the realm of the world.
33:44
Let him go into the world. Let let him go into Satan's
33:47
domain there. He's the Prince of the power of
33:51
the air. He's the God of this world.
33:53
The Bible says now, of course this is something the elders and
33:57
the leaders of the church are involved in is the ones that are
33:59
tasked and and given by God, the oversight of the church.
34:04
And if you're hearing this and this seems harsh to you, if
34:07
you're thinking, man, that just that doesn't sound very loving,
34:10
that doesn't sound very grace filled, I think you you're
34:13
probably in line with what a lot of people at the Church of
34:15
Courth were feeling. They probably were responding in
34:18
many of the same ways. Paul, that doesn't sound very
34:20
nice. But the hope and the desire
34:23
behind this is that the man will come to a senses and, and when
34:26
he's out there in the world again, he's going to say, I've
34:29
sinned and I've sinned God against you.
34:31
And I'm no longer in fellowship with God's people anymore.
34:35
I need to get right with you, God.
34:37
And I want to get back into fellowship again with God's
34:39
people. I want to be back with my hands
34:41
lifted singing these songs. And I want to be back with a
34:43
word of God opened in my lap. And I want to be having a meal
34:48
with with my brothers and sisters and being prayed for
34:50
every week again, God, I miss that.
34:52
And there's nothing like that out here in the world.
34:55
And that's the hope behind us. That's the heart behind us.
34:58
So until confession and repentance is achieved, then you
35:03
treat the brother or sister, Paul would say gently, and you,
35:07
and you do this in a spirit of humility, but you treat them
35:10
firmly and directly, as Jesus said.
35:14
You treat them as a tax collector, as a heathen, as an
35:17
unbeliever, as a Gentile, because that's how they've
35:20
chosen to act. Because if you don't see the
35:24
fruit of genuine repentance in their life and they're not
35:27
seeking reconciliation and they're not seeking forgiveness,
35:31
and if that person is not willing to listen to Jesus and
35:34
they're not willing to listen to the word of God, and they're not
35:38
willing to listen to the men that teach it, it's a travesty
35:41
then for that person to continue to be a part of that church
35:44
community. It's a travesty at that point
35:47
because what that person is wanting, the church can't supply
35:52
to that person. So the church's response at this
35:56
point, again, after a period of time would be OK, brother, go
35:59
out and get at it and have your fill of whatever it is that
36:04
you're wanting out there. What whatever, whatever is
36:07
keeping you from bringing the sin to the foot of the cross, go
36:11
out. And when you're done, and when
36:13
you're broken, and when you're beat up, and when you realize
36:17
that the world can't deliver what it promises you at will,
36:21
then come back to us and we'll welcome you home with open arms
36:25
again and with hearts full of rejoicing.
36:29
All of heaven rejoices when a Sinner comes to repentance.
36:34
And meanwhile, brother or sister, we'll be here doing the
36:37
same thing we've always been doing.
36:38
We'll be telling the same story. We'll be studying the same book
36:42
as when you left. We'll be here for you.
36:44
Whenever it is that you come to your senses, we'll be here
36:50
again. This is even in in in speaking
36:53
about this. I'm just even feeling in my
36:55
heart how hard this is A pastor in particular is a man that is
37:00
called to shepherd and tend and care for the sheep.
37:04
And I can tell you the pastors of this church love you and this
37:08
would break our hearts if this had to happen with one of you.
37:12
Our our heart would be to to point you and lead you to the
37:16
love of Jesus. But we will do this if, if we
37:20
have to do this because there are other sheep in this flock.
37:24
There are other people in, in our family here and that we have
37:28
to care for as well. So you might be thinking here,
37:31
well, why bother with all of this?
37:33
Why is why this process? I think there's two reasons.
37:37
Number one, to restore, as we've talked about that that's the
37:40
heart behind all of this, would be to restore, to get to the
37:43
heart of the issue and to restore that person and #2 to
37:46
let the people in the church see the seriousness of sin in the
37:50
camp. There's a heaviness to some of
37:53
this. This is the way, in other words,
37:56
of keeping the church's immune system healthy.
38:00
That's the heart behind this. When there's cancer or when
38:03
there's disease in your body, it infects the rest of the body.
38:07
And if it's not taken care of and if it's not dealt with in
38:10
the appropriate ways, it it, it will rob the rest of the body of
38:14
health. And and that's just a good
38:17
reminder that none of us sin to ourselves, that our sin infects
38:21
one another because we're part of the same body here.
38:24
My sin in secret, in quiet, even if I think no one's looking, no
38:29
one knows. Well, the Lord knows.
38:31
And in some way, my sin is going to have an effect on you as
38:35
well. So when it comes to you and it
38:37
comes to another person, the best way for immunity to work in
38:41
the body of Christ. And if you've been wronged
38:44
again, go privately to that person.
38:46
Talk to them to work it out. If they don't listen, then go
38:49
bring two or three witnesses to help you with that.
38:52
Mature people that can listen. If that person still maintains
38:56
their unwillingness to reconcile with you, they still maintain
38:59
their unwillingness to seek forgiveness, then bring it to
39:02
the church leadership. And if that person refuses to
39:05
listen to the church, then sadly, the church has to make a
39:08
decision to say to them, well, then you need to be out of here
39:13
for a time at least. And when we're obedient to Jesus
39:17
on these things, and I just want to say this, Jesus loves these
39:21
people more than we do. Jesus is is kinder and more
39:25
generous than any of us will ever be.
39:28
He is more forgiving. And yet he is the one here that
39:32
tells us this is the process. But the heart behind this is
39:35
that if this person leaves the fellowship and they're left
39:38
alone, that they would look up to heaven at some point in their
39:42
lives and that they would realize it's there, that
39:46
everything needs to be made right again.
39:51
When they repent immediately in that moment, grace upon grace
39:55
will flow back into their lives again, just as grace has flown
39:58
into as has flown in and been a part of our story in our lives.
40:03
We we've tasted of God's grace, we've all experienced God's
40:07
forgiveness, and we want that for anybody else among us.
40:11
So if this person wants to come back to the church again and
40:14
they've repented, then we welcome them.
40:17
We tell them, come again, welcome home, sitting underneath
40:20
the teaching of God's word with us again.
40:21
Come to lunch with me, Let's have a meal together.
40:24
Restoration has happened. God will be glorified.
40:27
The gospel message will be lived out.
40:29
And how beautiful that would be. By the way, this person in First
40:33
Corinthians that we read about that needed to be kicked out.
40:36
It tells us in Second Corinthians chapter 2 that he
40:39
does end up repenting and he does end up back in fellowship
40:43
in the church again. And Paul would say he's
40:45
repented, bring him back into the church.
40:47
Paul says in 2nd Corinthians 28I urge you to reaffirm your love
40:52
for him and forgive him and bring him back into the church
40:56
so that he's not overwhelmed by Satan and lost and taken
41:00
advantage of out there in the world like our heart is.
41:03
We want you back with us. We don't want you out there.
41:07
We do want to reaffirm our love for you.
41:09
None of this has been about us not loving you.
41:11
It's in fact it's been all about us loving you.
41:15
As hard as this can be, he's been out there.
41:18
It's been effective. So now bring him back as we
41:22
close here, last two verses just in this section here, because
41:24
these are verses that if you read them by their self, they're
41:27
very, very confusing. You don't know what they mean
41:29
until you realize, oh, it's part of a context.
41:32
It's still part of what Jesus is Speaking of here.
41:34
So back here in Matthew chapter 18, he says in verse 18 here,
41:39
assuredly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound
41:43
in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in
41:47
heaven. So again, this verse is linked
41:50
to the previous verses of dealing with a brother who has
41:53
sinned against you has caused an offence.
41:56
So God is saying this here, any church that is truly submitted
42:00
to the word of God in these things.
42:02
I give that group my authority so that if they are making
42:06
binding the expulsion of somebody that is an unrepentant
42:10
believer and they've and they've they've asked them to leave the
42:13
church. He says that's good in heaven.
42:16
God agrees and God stands behind that decision.
42:20
Likewise, if somebody loosens that decision so that that
42:24
person can come back into fellowship.
42:26
Again, I stand behind that as well is what the Lord is saying
42:30
here so that when we're all submitted to the word of God
42:33
here on earth, God honors that in heaven as well.
42:36
That's that's the point of this verse.
42:38
Again, the purpose of all this reflects the heart of God to, to
42:43
restore, to redeem, to reconcile.
42:45
And then verse 19, same context here, He says, again, I say to
42:49
you that if two or three of you agree on earth concerning
42:52
anything that they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in
42:57
heaven. And I'm glad that Jesus said
42:59
this because some people might ask, well, how how big does the
43:03
church need to be or how many people need to be in the
43:05
assembly or the gathering of God's people in order for this
43:08
process to take place? 100 person church, 1000 person,
43:12
like how big? And Jesus makes the point here.
43:14
Jesus says, all you need is 2 or more in order for you to, to, to
43:19
go through this three-step process.
43:21
So if you submit to the authority of my truth, God says,
43:24
I will honor that in heaven. I will honor that in heaven.
43:28
Verse 20 for where two or three are gathered together in my
43:32
name, I am there in the midst of them.
43:36
So as the worship team comes back up and we close here, why
43:41
bother? Why bother Step one and Step 2
43:45
and Step 3? Wouldn't it be just easier if
43:48
nobody knew about it and I just blew it off And I said, look, I,
43:51
I forgive them in my heart, no big deal.
43:54
I don't like confrontation anyway.
43:55
I'm not a confrontational person.
43:57
And why can't I just move on from this and, and, and let
44:00
bygones be bygones, right? Well, here's why, because
44:05
forgiveness, in the same way that there's a a three-step
44:08
process here, forgiveness is often done in stages as well.
44:13
So here's if you want to take these last final notes here.
44:16
When somebody sins against you, there's three stages of
44:18
forgiveness #1 immediately forgive them in your hearts.
44:26
Immediately soon as they do it, forgive them right there in your
44:29
heart. Ephesians 432 tells us this.
44:32
Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another,
44:37
even as God in Christ forgave you.
44:41
Because if you can release it right there, give it to the
44:43
Lord, then we don't play it over and over again in our hearts and
44:47
our minds. Then we don't allow allow the
44:49
bitterness in our heart to to overtake our heart and harden
44:52
us. And we just say, Jesus, because
44:55
of how much you have forgiven me, I am choosing right now to
45:00
forgive my brother or to forgive my sister who has sinned against
45:04
me right here. And God, I might need your help
45:06
with this too, because I might want to not forgive them again
45:09
in 5 minutes. But I'm, I'm doing it.
45:10
I'm making this choice #2 as we just read, you have a
45:14
responsibility to approach and to confront.
45:18
It's the loving thing to do because Jesus instructed us in
45:22
these things. By the way, This is why we don't
45:25
do it. Very few of us like
45:27
confrontation. It would be easier for us to
45:30
blow it off it because when we confront somebody, we're making
45:34
ourselves vulnerable to that person because we're saying you
45:37
hurt me or there's something that you did that is weighing on
45:42
me and that's a vulnerable place to be.
45:45
But when step #1 works and you go to them and they say, I am so
45:51
sorry, please forgive me, please forgive me, then we get to
45:56
finally, our third part of forgiveness here is to tell them
46:00
they're forgiven #3 tell them they're forgiven.
46:03
You verbalize it to them, I forgive you, I forgive you.
46:08
I don't hold it against it. It's over, it's done.
46:11
The Bible says that out of the abundance of the heart, the
46:14
mouth speaks. If I've been forgiven, God's
46:16
grace has been poured out in my life.
46:18
Who am I to withhold that from you?
46:20
And by the way, that will not only deepen your relationship
46:23
with that person. God does something so special in
46:26
those moments, but it proves the message of the gospel that
46:31
forgiving people forgive. Forgiving people forgive.
46:35
Now this kind of blew Peters mind because then we don't have
46:38
time to look at it. But in verse 21, he's like, well
46:39
Jesus, how many times am I supposed to forgive somebody?
46:41
And Jesus says 70 * 7, which really just means you keep on
46:45
forgiving them until the Kingdom comes.
46:47
You keep on forgiving them, but again, the heart in all of this
46:51
is God's desire to reconcile that person to himself and to
46:55
one another. Pastor Chuck Smith used to say
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this. Grace bestowed is grace
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received. And if we realized Jesus, you've
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forgiven me of so much. God.
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I just, I don't want anything to stand in the way of my
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relationship with you, but I don't want to stand anything to
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stand in the way of my relationship with my brother
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that I sit next to and worship every week, or the person that I
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serve with, or the guys that I'm ministered in, the girls I'm
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ministered to on the team here. God.
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So I will do the hard thing that is very uncomfortable and
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doesn't come naturally to me. If love confronts God, I'll do
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that, but I'll do it humbly. I'll do it gently, but I'm going
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to do it in honor of you, Jesus, because if this is your means of
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bringing healing, and if this is your means of perhaps even
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bringing me closer to this person, because that's what
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forgiveness does. It brings us closer to one
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another as husbands and wives. It brings us closer to one
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another as brothers and sisters. It brings us closer to one
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another as God has forgiven us. It brings us closer to one
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another with God. We get to live that out among
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one another. And then hopefully we don't have
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to worry about getting to step #2 or step #3 But maybe there is
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a step number one that has to happen in your heart tonight.
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Maybe you need to call somebody. Maybe you need to text somebody
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and say, hey, can we set up a coffee date?
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Maybe there's somebody here that you can grab tonight.
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And just say, you know, the Holy Spirit spoke to me tonight and I
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don't want, I don't want this to stand in the way.
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So can I just share with you something and pray with one
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another and hug one another. And remember, God has forgiven
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us of so much. We have so much to be thankful
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for and we have so much forgiveness to give to one
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another. Amen.
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So, God, we just ask that you would take these things, Holy
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Spirit. These are very practical things,
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Lord. This is just practical Christian
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living stuff right here, Lord, and nothing super profound about
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this. You even made it easy for us.
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Three steps, Lord. I pray that we would be obedient
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to you, God, because when we obey, great blessing comes into
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our lives. And that's what we want, Lord.
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We want to walk in a way that blesses you, blesses the heart
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of our Father. It gives honor and glory to the
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name of Jesus Christ for what he accomplished for us on the
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cross. Because you are worth it, Lord.
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You're worth me getting out of my comfort zone.
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You're worth me doing something that might not come natural to
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me, Lord, You're worth it. You're worthy and you're worthy
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of it all God. And if and if a relationship
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amongst a brother and a sister in a church can be restored and
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reconciled, God, you get that much more glory and you get that
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much more honor and you get that much more praise because you're
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living, it's being lived out amongst Lord.
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The Holy Spirit of God is your life in US, Lord, it's
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accomplishing health restoration.
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So we put these things before you tonight in Jesus name, Amen.
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I pray that you've been encouraged by this Bible study
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delivered live from the sanctuary of Calvary Church for
49:58
prayer, call us at 87730 grace that's 877-304-7223.
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To listen to this message in its integrity or to join us for our
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live stream services, visit us online at Calvary Co dot Church
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or download our free Calvary Church app.
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Be blessed as you worship Jesus this week.