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A Five Generation Strategy · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:01
  Hi, welcome to the Family Teams Podcast. Our goal here is to help your family become a multi-generational team on mission by providing you with biblically rooted concepts, tools, and rhythms. Your hosts are Jeremy Pryor and Jefferson Bethke, and we can't wait to chat about all things family. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Family Teams Podcast. Back with my lovely wife, April. How are you doing today, April? Good.
• 0:25
  Hello. I'm good. Trying to stay above the gloom. It's been raining nonstop for a few days. And so it's like, Ooh, we can do this. It's spring though. So there's lots of flowers and evidence that the rain is working. So happy spring. I got my tea and yeah, keep the warm and cozy inside. And it's almost April's birthday. It is. Yes. It's my time of year.
• 0:50
  Yes, it's going to be fun. We're going to do our big birthday Shabbat on Friday. And then I'm buying tickets for, what is it called? The underground Cincinnati tour that we're doing? Yeah, I guess Cincinnati used to have a subway of some kind or something. And there's...
• 1:07
  tunnels now that you can go and they have different like i guess it was big in the um prohibition era for like eating booze and speakeasies and things like that um but i don't know i will know more after yes yeah one of those things that people from out of town get to do and then those of us who live here never actually do and never get to know the history of our city yeah
• 1:31
  Yeah, that'll be fun. Well, I wanted to talk to you today about five generations of ruling households. So this is just something I've been thinking through, and I decided to write a little piece for the introduction of my upcoming book, The Ruling Household.
• 1:52
  Because I really feel like this, the Genesis 128 mandate to be fruitful, multiply, fail, subdue, and rule, I think for a lot of people is still way too abstract. Those are really powerful words. They're action verbs. But I think that each of them, how that works in the context of a family, even when I hear theologians talk about this, they call it the cultural mandate.
• 2:16
  And they're constantly talking about fruitful, multiply, fill, subdue and rule as something almost like an institution does, or that happens, you know, through the church and the whole context, of course, of Genesis one is the creation of a family. And so I think that it's really important for us to try to increase the resolution and the, and the clarity, uh, for what a family that does these five things might look like. And so at the risk of,
• 2:46
  being a little bit too concrete, I wanted to just articulate a potential case study for how it might feel, what it might look like for a family that's very committed to this mission to do this over five generations, to think about the primary role of maybe Gen 1 is fruitful, Gen 2 is multiply, Gen 3 is fill, Gen 4 is subdue, Gen 5 is rule. Now, you could, of course, do this
• 3:12
  much faster or much slower. But I think that this kind of was the easiest way for me to illustrate the point in a case study format for what this could look like in a family. So I'm going to read this to you. I'd love to get your take on it. I'm curious if there's anything that like bounces it kind of sticks out as well as like a view, like correct or, you know, modify anything about this vision. So this is a called ruling in five generations, a case study.
• 3:38
  In order to be as practical as possible and get your imagination going, I'm going to walk through some basic steps a family can take to becoming a ruling family by the fifth generation. This is a thought experiment where we are attempting to imagine the progress five generations could make who take literally the five-step mandate of Genesis 128 to be fruitful, multiply, fill, subdue, and rule. Gen 1, a husband and wife are starting from ground zero. They are committed...
• 4:07
  followers of Jesus and believe that Genesis 1, 28 and Matthew 28, 16 through 20, that's the go and make disciples passage, provide the mission for their family. Right. So that's where we're starting. Just a husband and wife who understand the biblical mission of the family to do the Genesis 1, 28 and the Matthew 28 mandate. So they're going to, of course, be focused on one fruitful.
• 4:31
  Without much support from extended family, they are still able to have five children. With support from their church, they build a healthy household and intentionally train their kids to honor the family mission and follow the Lord. As they enter adulthood, all five of their children are excited to further the family mission and expand the family line. Multiply.
• 4:52
  The command to multiply is the command to raise your children in a way that maximizes their desire and ability to have children. Fruitfulness is having children, but multiplication is having grandchildren. This family has passed those values down successfully to their children by raising their sons,
• 5:10
  to aspire to be skilled fathers and their daughters to be skilled mothers. In addition, Genesis Gen 1 pursued a lifestyle that allowed them to support their children in having kids early and often. So this mother and father have really designed a lifestyle so that they can be available to help their kids have their grandkids.
• 5:33
  They helped with down payments on houses, were available to help with childcare and use their skills and network to help their kids start or acquire successful local businesses. So this is a lot of the intense activity of Gen 1. All right. Generation number two, the five children in this generation and their spouses are aligned with the family vision and each family had an average of five children. These 25 cousins or grandchildren,
• 5:59
  and the Gen 3 are being raised in a common family culture that is focused on the next phases of the plan. Continue multiplying, but especially the mandate to fill. So how are they multiplying? Getting to experience the love and vision from Gen 1, the grandparents, the skilled parenting of Gen 2, the parents, and the beautiful, immersive family culture of their 25 cousins. These grandchildren are even more committed to the vision of multiplying the family.
• 6:26
  The Gen 1 and Gen 2 adults in the family ensured that their children and grandchildren were immune to the family-destroying ideologies that were being virally spread within the wider culture. So part of what I just wanted to call out there is...
• 6:41
  The command to multiply is under great assault today. And we have what I think has not been properly diagnosed as multi-generational family destroying mental and religious viruses that are infecting the culture in massive amounts and are becoming saturated. We're becoming filled and subdued and ruled. Right.
• 7:08
  by family destroying viruses. So obviously one of the things that a multiplying family has to do is find a way to make their children and grandchildren immune to these viruses. So just wanna call that out specifically. All right, so this family, Gen 2, is successfully multiplying, Gen 3 is catching the vision. All right, so this fill, so we're really gonna focus on the command to fill that is given as the third command in the Genesis 128 blessing.
• 7:36
  So the fill command is given to this third generation, the cousins of Gen three with the support of their parents from Gen two and the continued wisdom and vision from their grandparents from Gen one began a local saturation strategy. They buy and build interrelated businesses. They acquire and steward land and houses in similar areas. They start or expand churches and ministries and the concentrated nature of their efforts begins to make them one of the most influential families in
• 8:04
  So imagine in your city, you started to see emerge 25 families that were all from, that are the third generation from a single descendant family from Gen 1. And they all had the same vision. I mean, this would be a very influential family in the area, especially if they're really focused on this mandate to fill, which is the saturation strategy of a particular region to fill out that area. Yeah.
• 8:31
  All right. So what's going on? Generation number three, the 25 cousins in this generation can begin to see the vision of their grandparents playing out in front of them. And so they continue to multiply by having large families that average about five kids per family or a total of 125 Gen 4 children.
• 8:47
  The Gen 1 great-grandparents get to see many of their great-grandchildren before they pass. And now the grandparents, which are Gen 2, take on the vision-casting roles within the growing clan. So what does filling look like? The 125 kids of Gen 4 grow up seeing the growing influence of the family and having...
• 9:06
  in the region are trained from a young age to purchase, acquire, supporting businesses, to especially leverage the family resources to create an export economy that brings more resources back into the local economy. So one of the things that starts to happen is you have 125 now families that are all really focused on filling and acquiring and expanding. You're going to want to begin to make sure that part of your economic strategy is not just like service-based
• 9:35
  businesses in a local economy that you really need to start to think about how to bring in resources from the more national or global economy. And I think a client of this size and at this level of skill would be really good at that as well. So in addition to servicing the local economy.
• 9:52
  All right, subdue. So now we're going to add the fourth dimension of the ruling household. The fourth thing that we're blessed to do is to subdue. The collective economy, economic efforts of the Klan have made this family the top employer in the region. Everything this family stewards creates a unique kingdom culture that is blessing hundreds of families.
• 10:14
  that they serve or employ through their businesses. Now, beginning with Gen 1, one of the elements of subdue is discipleship. So beginning with Gen 1, the patriarch and matriarch of this family modeled a disciple-making culture where every year each family member would be discipled for at least half the year and then making disciples of three others during the rest of the year.
• 10:33
  So this has been going on now in this case study for 75 plus years. So 75 plus years into this discipleship culture created by Gen 1 has resulted in thousands of new and multiplying believers in the region. The level of obedience to the Lordship of Jesus is becoming the most remarkable distinctive of this area. People are streaming to the area for conferences and training programs to learn how this region has been so impacted by the gospel.
• 10:59
  And that's not hard to imagine. You have 125 fruitful, multiplying, filling and subduing families that have all been trained in a disciple-making culture that really has trained and expects all the family members to be involved in discipleship on an annual basis. So, man, you're going to have a ton of multiplication. Yeah.
• 11:18
  You do that right. So Gen 4, the 125 members of Gen 4 along with their spouses continue to multiply, fill, and subdue, having an average of five kids per family or 600 plus children in the next generation. The influence this family is now having is beginning to receive national attention. The local economy is thriving through this family's skilled efforts. New institutions of education are being established that reflect the values and beliefs of this family.
• 11:43
  So part of what you would see in this generation, there's so many children, so much multiplying, so much ability to really see where this is headed, you would make it pretty easy and also necessary to develop these additional kind of institutions, things like publishing houses and potentially secondary education and obviously primary education efforts. So that's going to be happening for sure in major ways in Gen 4.
• 12:08
  All right, the generation five now with over 600 family members and countless thousands of disciples made by this generation of the family. Many members of this generation are being trained to take roles in governance. The family launches a coordinated campaign to win local elected positions, the judgeships, mayoral city council and representative positions are being filled by the wisest members of the family.
• 12:30
  And this really creates what is the fifth and final mandate given to the family in Genesis 128 to rule. So no family in this region has more skin in the game than this ruling household. They have so many local family members with thousands more coming in the next generations, giving them the highest incentive to ensure that policies that are enacted that are wise and will maximize justice, freedom and flourishing for the coming generations.
• 12:57
  So these are the kind of people you really want to rule your city, your region, and represent you in more national and statewide ways. So the purpose of this thought experiment is to demonstrate what is possible through a multi-generational mindset. So much momentum is wasted through a short-sighted single-generational vision.
• 13:18
  Any family that lives for future generations understands that Genesis 128 blueprint and trains their children to do the same will have an Abrahamic level impact on the future. That's really what I want to kind of get people's imaginations going. What could this look like? Because I think oftentimes we're pitched other visions and we don't realize what we're giving up.
• 13:38
  when we ignore the Genesis 128 blueprint. Not only are we building households in a way that isn't the way God originally designed them in scripture, but man, we're missing a lot of fruit, I think. Yeah, curious, April, what does that stir up for you?
• 13:56
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• 14:13
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• 14:33
  Yeah. Wow. It's, that is quite a vision. When you start putting numbers to it like that, which I don't think I, I have done that. It's really becomes really personal, really quick. Like, wait, I could have 125 great grandchildren, 25 grandchildren seems possible. That's my, my mom has 24. So I'm like, okay, I can kind of feel what that feels like, but like,
• 14:58
  125 great grandchildren. That's crazy. Um, so, um, kind of wrapping my mind around that. And so it kind of, you know, makes me tear up a little bit because it's like, wow, that's, that's a lot of people. And you're right, it can really impact like a region. Um,
• 15:17
  And I think what it's reminding me of is I remember our journey, our journey on having more children and what that did to me like mentally. And for you and I, this was not...
• 15:35
  I feel like so much, we were just taking one step at a time, trying to obey the Lord and daily trying, trying to surrender in such a way that we were like, Jesus is Lord. What's next today? That it wasn't like we have this big idea and this big vision and we're like making it happen every day. So much of it was like discovery as we went. And so for my mind, when we had our third child is when I started to realize like, oh,
• 16:03
  Oh, we're bigger than some other families. Like the average American has two kids, two point something. And now we have three whole children. And then of course having a fourth and then having a fifth. And the way it started to change my mentality from a lot of really practical things was,
• 16:22
  is evidence to me that like, if we start thinking about our fourth and fifth generation, how I think it would change some really practical ways of how we do things. So like, for example, for me, when I, a big, like what's the word? Motivator for me to discipline my children was because I remember thinking like, um,
• 16:45
  if we just had one or two kids, we could maybe let them get away with this kind of behavior. But if we want to have a big family, we're going to have to, like, that's not going to be okay. This behavior is not going to be okay. Or this level of noise is not going to be okay. Or, um, uh,
• 17:00
  even just like buying plates and cups and stuff like that. Like if this is going to have to make it through, um, four plus kids, like I didn't know how many kids we were going to have or when we were going to stop. Um, then I'm going to need to buy, maybe buy the ones that are a step nicer than these ones that are super cute, but are going to last like maybe a year or something. So I had this mentality of like, I want to get something that's going to last a lot longer, make it through more kids. Um, um,
• 17:28
  everything from clothes and toys and things like that, that you can like, that will last that you can pass on. And that's just like for your own children. That's like gen two in your example. But I think the advantage of having these thoughts is really start to play, playing stuff out like, okay, vehicles or, you know,
• 17:47
  Like if we just want to, I think the traditional American story for, for people in our stage of life, we're just starting to become grandparents. That story is like, everything's downsizing. You know, you move from your big house that you raise your kids in into a condo and then you, you know, you.
• 18:04
  If you had like a minivan or something like that, then you get a sports car. Like that's the typical thing. But if you're thinking like, oh, I want to be able to tote around the grandkids. I want to be able to throw in some car seats in the car. Then you're probably going to shift that mentality a little bit. And so I think that and that's just very, very practical. And if you're talking about like generation five where you're like possibly running for office and establishing. Yeah.
• 18:32
  you know, businesses that are bringing in exports. And if you're talking about possible political involvement and things like that, then that's like, okay, let's wrap our mind around that and see what steps we could be taking now to at least open that door up or walk down that path a little bit or something.
• 18:53
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• 19:23
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• 19:37
  Yeah. And this is why I'm very, I'm very interested in the whole begin with the end in mind, because it is important to understand that we have been handed a blueprint culturally, which is what you described, downsize, go retire, live your golden years, cut your kids off at 18 or 21 if you're a little more generous or something. Totally different blueprint than I think the Genesis blueprint of the multi-generational family team.
• 20:02
  And so that's why I like to create some images. And one of the images, I'm really curious what your thoughts are, April. The one that I've wrestled with a lot lately is the command to fill. And I'm sort of in the thought experiment taking that very literally. Yeah.
• 20:22
  do you want your kids to live in the same area that you're living? And as they're multiplying for you to have a saturation strategy instead of a, you know, a sort of a more typical sending strategy, right? So, so we, we, we have in our culture such a value for, you know, just follow the career path, wherever that is. And likely it's going to be in a different city. And, you know, so you're going to go and raise your kids, uh,
• 20:48
  thousand miles away from your parents and then, you know, every generation does that and where you know it, you know, there's, there's really, everyone's always hitting the reset button. There's no, there's no saturation happening. There's no filling and subduing as a multi-generational family. How can you subdue?
• 21:04
  or fill when you're living thousands of miles apart and partnering with others or becoming increasingly isolated, which is really what happens to so many people in our culture. And so I'm not, and I've told our kids, especially when they're in their single years, we've been really encouraging our kids to experience lots of cultures. And a lot of our kids have already spent seasons living overseas and we're planning to do more of that. Mm-hmm.
• 21:30
  Um, but we have created an expectation that you guys have to understand that when you start having kids and if you're not going to be into birth control, the kids are going to come in numbers and in frequency in a way that you probably can't predict that that starts to happen. Or if that's your, your, your, um, mode of operation, if you're like, that's, that's really what I want. Cause I, the kids are a blessing and we just want to have as many as possible. And all of our kids really have that, you know, arts desire. Um, well that's going to be hard to do a thousand times.
• 22:00
  miles away from family when you're pursuing your career paths. These are such different stories. And all of a sudden, filling and subduing together make a lot of sense because we've obviously developed a lifestyle that we're preparing to help our kids in every way that they may need help.
• 22:18
  given the fact that they're taking on this enormous challenge of having kids early and often. Um, and, but all of a sudden this idea of filling, saturating an entire region with your grandchildren and the impact that could mean for your family and your kingdom and the kingdom, it's like, it's amazing. So yeah. What are your thoughts there? Cause I know this creates so much tension for people in our culture.
• 22:42
  Well, I think what I'd like to hear you speak to is, because if we're following the typical American story for a second, and you say, help your kids, what I hear in my American ears is like, enabling, enabling, they're going to live in your basement and not have a job. Yeah, bill you to lunch. Yeah, they're going to eat the food out of your fridge and not ask for it, not say thank you, and they're 25 or whatever. So what do you think would be different?
• 23:10
  from, um, in, in this mindset where we're like planning for the fifth generation, where we're setting ourselves up to, um, help our kids. What is, what does that look like? How is it different? Yeah.
• 23:25
  Well, I think that, first of all, we recognize that the idea that a husband and a wife can come together and have kids early and often and thrive is sort of a myth from the 1950s. It's not a realistic myth.
• 23:43
  story that existed at most times in history. When you go to the Middle East, nobody thinks that way. They all are living multi-generationally. They understand they need to help each other. There's a constant multi-generational partnering going on. It's only in the West and particularly in America when we had this strange cultural experience of massive economic expansion in the 50s and 60s.
• 24:08
  that now everyone expects to go on forever. And it's not happening for Gen Z. It's not happening for this next generation. You know, they're going to probably struggle more financially than their parents and I think for sure their grandparents. Right. And it's a terrible thing to say to them, you know, well, we did it because, you know, we're going to kind of
• 24:28
  not acknowledge the massive economic expansion that we enjoyed, um, the low inflation compared to what you guys are going to face. And, but we did it, you know, and then we, we use birth control and blah, blah, blah. And we're like, and you know, of course, um, our family has rejected that narrative completely. Like, I think that's, that's really almost an absurd idea. If you're going to take very seriously the mandate, have a large family, um, and, and, and,
• 24:56
  it's important to say that the command to multiply was given to us, not just our children. The command to multiply is to have grandchildren. And therefore I'm on the hook, part of my mission, my vision from the Lord. And it's, it's really not just a command, but it's really, you know, articulated as a blessing. God blessed them and said, be fruitful and multiply. So it's like, whatever I can do to help my kids multiply, we will do. And in terms of enabling people,
• 25:20
  You know, one of the great things about the fact that family size, even a family of five or more, it's still incredibly small and it allows you to really get to know the hearts of your kids and to know if you're enabling them to know whether or not you're, they're taking a lot of this stuff for granted. And to say since some kind of flat way, well, I'm never going to help my kids with a car payment or a down payment or childcare, because of course we know that makes spoiled brats. Really?
• 25:49
  You don't have to assume that. You can actually watch your child and say, are they becoming an entitled spoiled brat? And I think that one of the things that I've learned studying multigenerational families that have poured enormous resources into the future
• 26:08
  There are some that have been very spoiled and I think have really damaged their children, but they all have certain things in common. And one of them that I've noticed is they have given their children a ton of resources without any vision or with the implicit vision that this exists for your comfort. Like we suffered and we made millions. Now we want you to like, just enjoy. Well, yeah, that's going to hurt killed kids.
• 26:34
  We don't. We have a very high bar for our kids. I mean, having children early and often is not for the faint of heart. No entitled spoiled brat is going to want a father or mother, a large family. I mean, that's very difficult.
• 26:50
  And so I'm not that worried, honestly, about entitlement. If my kids start to sound entitled, then I will have a heart-to-heart, and I'll be like, what's going on here? And there's resources in the gospel to help you overcome those kinds of character flaws, and I think that I want to see you guys
• 27:08
  really sacrifice for the family the way we are. And we're all going to do this together and it's going to be, it's going to be amazing what we can build, but it's not going to be easy. So I think that's the way I would process that. I think that's a really important question to answer. Yeah, that's great. I mean, I agree with you, of course. But I think that, that I'm always hearing things like from the devil's advocate side of things and like, well, I know that people are
• 27:38
  helping, helping with a down payment or some, whatever those different examples are. But I will say I, what we're currently experiencing, we have two married children now, one grandchild and one on the way. And it is crazy to watch that.
• 27:58
  it unfold. Cause there's, you know, our kids are their own, our married children are their own entities now. And, um, to watch them make decisions and every once in a while they'll want to get advice or input, but they're making these decisions for their kids and their future families. And it's so, so far, there's been so much alignment that has been so enjoyable and it's like, I can kind of see how this could, um,
• 28:27
  happen. I don't know where the Lord's going to take it. I don't know all the different avenues and like the different ways it's going to forge and play itself out. But it's so exciting to just even have this potential laid out in front of us.
• 28:43
  But, you know, my peers are like people my age and who are starting down the grandmother path. People my age probably aren't starting down the grandmother path quite yet. But if they were, they are like, what are you talking about? If you talk about helping out with your grandkids, they're like, no, no, I am not going to be grandma daycare. And so that my daughter can go work her career. And that's not what we're talking about either. Yeah.
• 29:09
  Helping out in ways that propel their family forward. You know, a lot of it's like, I'm going to watch my grandson for 30 minutes so my daughter can take a nap because she's pregnant again. You know, that kind of thing.
• 29:21
  Yeah. They're doing the heavy lifting. I mean, at Gen 2, they're doing a huge work and they are definitely, it's worth us pouring our lives into Gen 2 and loving them and supporting them and resourcing them and helping them get over this difficulty and providing.
• 29:39
  And I think that that's just going to mean more thriving. Again, if the vision is aligned, it's really a vision problem. People think that it's primarily a character problem. And obviously, like I said, that those can happen, but that's why you have, you do have 18 years to train your kid's character. And now it's time to really support them and help them help maximize. Again, one of the things that's, that's a reality about this, this blessing and this, this mandate is that it's.
• 30:05
  It's not just given to one generation. Like we are on a team. We, we are trying to multiply. And so if, if by providing some childcare, being available, um, by ensuring that every, you know, son and son-in-law in our family can provide for their family and a single income, that they're building assets that as those, as they're getting older and as their kids are
• 30:30
  you know, as they're getting more and more children that the actual relationship between the amount of income they're making, amount of time they're spending is inverted. Like in other words, like I am absolutely committed to helping each of my sons and sons-in-law build assets so that they are making money in a way that frees up more time for their family and
• 30:53
  as they get older and as their assets appreciate. And these are just basic structures and visions and goals that we've been living into and coaching people in for years and they work. But oftentimes they're,
• 31:09
  really not well known by so many people in our culture who are pursuing identity based career paths that get more intense, more busy and make it less likely you'll have time for your family as it expands. So these are all strategic decisions we've made to try to fulfill this, this vision, this, this blessing, this set of family commands given in Genesis one and in Matthew 28. So yeah, that, that,
• 31:38
  We just want to give you guys kind of a snapshot of how we think. And I know it's quite different than, you know, the way most people think. We don't really understand why everyone in the church doesn't take these passages seriously. They're so helpful. They're so practical. They so clearly would transform whole cities and nations if we just simply followed the blueprint given to us in the Bible. So we want to encourage you guys to take it seriously. Any last thoughts there, April?
• 32:05
  Well, I just like to emphasize that this was a blessing. He said, he blessed them and said, be fruitful, multiply. So if you think about it, I think sometimes when I hear mandate, I think like, oh, it's something that I have to do, or God's going to be mad, or I'm doing something wrong. But for him to have blessed us and then said these things, he's like, I'm going to bless you with multigenerationalness. It's really exciting.
• 32:32
  Thank you guys for listening. And this is, like I said, this is just one small section from the introduction of my new book, The Ruling Household. So if you're interested, you can head over to Substack. You can look at my name on there, Jeremy Pryor, and you can read the whole book. I try to every week a new section of the book. And then April and I unpack them either here on the Family Teams podcast or over on the Jeremy Pryor podcast. So we'll see you guys there. Thanks, April.
• 32:58
  All right. You're welcome. See you later. Thank you for listening to the family teams podcast. If you're enjoying this content or have learned something new, please make sure to leave a rating and review and share with a friend to stay up to date with our events, new content and products. You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram at family teams.