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ABA CEO Moms · ABA Business Leaders

• speaker-0: I went back to work way too soon. I didn't know how to make this work. I had no idea. My first session back to work with a kiddo in home in the floor, it was a new client. He was 18 months old. I couldn't do the session. I cried. I was like, ⁓ my gosh, this is someone's baby. Family was in a really challenging spot with some pretty challenging behaviors that was really impacting their lives, right? It was her first baby. It was a little boy and she had so many dreams for her child and life was looking very different for her. I came home and I told Stephen, I'm never going to another session again. speaker-1: Welcome to ABA Business Leaders brought to you by 3PiSquared, where we discuss topics on how to create and grow an ethical and sustainable ABA practice. speaker-0: Whether you're starting, scaling, or thinking about selling your business, we're here to share insights, stories, and strategies to help you on the journey. speaker-1: We owned a successful ABA practice for over 10 years. speaker-0: And now we help other ABA business owners do the same without all the chaos. speaker-1: Stick around, you're in the right place. speaker-0: Hello everyone. Welcome to ABA Business Leaders podcast brought to you by 3Pi Squared. As you can see if you're watching, it's just me today. No Stephen. ⁓ It's just kind of a gal group today. So with us, we have a panel of moms who are also CEOs of their companies. so if you haven't heard, we started a support group this year. It's completely free. ⁓ please come on over. I think that's a great opportunity for you to meet with other BCBAs who are owners. But within that support group, we have a thread that's called CEO Moms. And I think out of all of our interactions on our support group, that's like the most active one because there's just a need for us to have that community and the village, right? So it takes a village and it really is true, right? So I think it's so important for us to lean on each other as owners, but even more importantly as mothers and ⁓ caregivers. Without any further ado, I want to introduce our panelists. So today with us we have Corinne, Tiffany, Jess, and Amaryllis. And we're so excited that you all joined us today. Today's just going to be one of those episodes where we just hop right in and we just have a conversation. those of you listening, hopefully ⁓ you can relate. If you're not a mom, who's a CEO, who's the owner of your company, ⁓ you know, I urge you to stick around. And because I think that if you aren't a mom, maybe one day you aspire to be one or maybe your partner is one or, you know, maybe it just couldn't give you a perspective of what it's like if you're working with someone who is a mom and a CEO because it's a little different world for us. And maybe you can just take this as a learning opportunity to peek in and see a little bit of what it's like. All right. So let's start with, ⁓ actually, Happy Mother's Day to those of you who are mothers because as this is airing, right, I believe right before Mother's Day. or maybe right after. It's going to be airing near Mother's Day and we're going to be celebrating mothers this week. We're going to have our next podcast is actually going to be a panel of ⁓ moms who have kids on the spectrum who are in ABA services and we're going to really be chatting to that with them about their experience. So I'm really excited about that as well. Okay, so let's maybe just go around and we can just start with Corinne and then move to Tiffany and then Amaryllis and then Jess and just kind of introduce yourself and maybe how long you've been in business and if you, you know, you're maybe you're at the ages of your children and kind of where you are in your motherhood journey. speaker-2: Okay, cool. So yes, I'm Corinne. I have two beautiful children. One is three and a half and one is 13 months old. And that has been a wild ride. And I'm still figuring out what being mom looks like as well as CEO because I opened up my actual business in LLC in November of 2025. So I'm brand new. to being a mall man, a business owner. And that's definitely been quite an adjustment. I'm still figuring it out. I've got a wonderful husband who picks up the gaps and helps figure out how to keep our little family running smoothly so that I can try to keep my business running smoothly. My business is actually primarily focused with adults because when I had my first about nine months in, I got to a point where I was like, can't keep pouring into kids all day and then come home and also have a kid to pour into. ⁓ And so I made a switch at that time to working with adults and haven't looked back. So it's a really wonderful balance for me personally to work with the adults and teens because it's very different than pediatric little early intervention kind of setting. ⁓ speaker-3: I'm Tiffany Remy and I'm CEO of Kinpethic. I'm headed on the part of momhood where I'm starting to see some light. My son will be eight this summer, so I'm out of the thick of it and we're gaining some independence. But I actually also had him right before starting the organization. So we have been around since end of 2019. We started right before those fun ⁓ COVID times. So that was interesting to have an infant and a new business and be experiencing that. ⁓ We are located in New Hampshire and we serve kids as early as 18 months all the way through 18 years. So we've been around a little bit. We're still figuring things out. ⁓ But I would say we're... We're at a place now where we're even. And I feel like I'm finally in a good spot with both moming and CEOing. speaker-4: Hi, everyone. name is Amaryllis Morales, and I am the clinical director at AMA Behavioral Consulting, located out of Brandon, Florida. I am a mom of one, and we are in the thick of the toddler stage. It is a fun time over here. So I am learning a lot, a lot through her. ⁓ I do work with the little one, so it's been very bittersweet to see her. her ⁓ develop all of these skills. All I'm in the thick of working with those little ones around the same ages, ⁓ some a little bit older. So it's been very, very bittersweet to do both at the same time. My company is turned eight in January. So we've been around for a little bit. We are very, very small practice only to BCBA with the goal of expanding slowly. ⁓ But yeah, it's been it's been very bittersweet to speaker-3: Peace. speaker-4: to combine those two passions of doing what I love and raising a feisty little toddler. So I'm so excited to be here. speaker-1: Well, I'm Jess Markin. ⁓ I am the owner of New View Autism. We are located in central Iowa. I won't say where because we're, I don't know, nobody probably knows. we, work with kids ⁓ more that early intervention, ⁓ very naturalistic style, ABA with kids. And I have a daughter who is 11. So we are hitting the preteen stage, which is, can't, I don't know if it's better or worse than the problem. Really funny. I'll say that. I mean, it's always there's always something funny happening. So being CEO and all of that, I opened up New View in June of 2023, but I was the clinic director for the clinic starting in January of 2020. We just changed ownership. The owners were out of state. And so really I've kind of been in that. CEO position for about six and a half years now, which is crazy to think, but made that switch into actually owning and able to make my own decisions, which has been really cool in 2023. And so now that my kiddo is 11, it's been a lot easier to be able to focus. Like you guys were talking about Tiffany with your eight year old getting a little more independent. That's been nice. But kind of as we were growing up, was definitely, it was a struggle to balance. both of those roles. So I'm excited to talk through things with everybody today and here, where you guys are at too. speaker-0: So, well, thank you all so much for sharing your experiences. ⁓ For those of you who are listening, who have been around for any amount of time, may already know my story. If not, I'm just going to briefly share it. we started, we decided to start our own ABA company and just jumped right in. And then about a year into it, Steven decided, okay, It's time we built the savings that we needed, right? And we really were insurance ⁓ mandates had kicked in and we were starting to learn the whole like insurance and the billing and all the parts of that, right? And so we're like, okay, it's time. Let's for Stephen to officially quit his engineering job with paid vacation, paternity leave, really good insurance. And we're gonna like fly with this thing full time. One week later, found out that our son was on the way. And we were like, what did we do, right? Not only like financially, ⁓ but just, okay, we have this business baby. And then ⁓ also, you know, I have ADHD and I had found like a really good balance of like the right medication to help me. as I navigated all of this newness of being a business owner. And of course, the second that I got that positive pregnancy test, I was like, well, I stopped taking my medication right away, right? Because that's the one thing, get your medication, medical advice from your physician, of course. But you know, that was one thing for me. was like instantly, okay, I have to be really concerned about what I put in my body and what I, you I'm growing this human and you know, maybe my OCD tendencies kind of kicked in a little bit more as well. And so like my narrow spicy brain was doing its own thing while like pregnancy was doing its thing while we were building this company that we had no idea what we were doing and we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. It was probably a good thing. And So yeah, so now that sweet little bundle of joy is ⁓ 11. I'm there with you, Jess. It's quite an interesting, you know, I don't think any phase gets any easier, it just gets different, right? There are differences. ⁓ And so I actually had to reevaluate my time just recently. ⁓ and to make myself available every afternoon from three to five because I realized that things were falling apart and I wasn't able to be the mom that I needed to be. And ⁓ I was getting frustrated because I thought, ⁓ well, we're like, I started to see the light. Things are, he's more independent, right? Like I can like do more multitasking and get work done at the same time that, you know, that he's home taking care of himself. And we had to take, we had to put a pause on that and kind of take a step back and Steven and I look and see, okay, how are we going to share these afternoons? Cause we need to kind of like zoom back in. But I think that's part of what, as we started the support group and you know, as we started to get more conversations through the CEO mom's group, you know, these are the things that are constantly adjusting and changing, right? There's no, okay, let me figure it out. Figure out what this mom thing is. Figure out what the CEO, like this owner thing is. ⁓ And we'll run with both are so they're not like they're not a straight line of growth, right? Like they're all over the place and they're unpredictable and it's messy, right? And so us as being in the position where we're trying to handle both, right? ⁓ We have to also take care of ourselves, right? And we have to figure out what that even means, right? Who's got time? So ⁓ yeah, it can be a struggle. ⁓ And there also positives to it, right? ⁓ We get to have more of a, we get to be somewhat more control of our own schedule, right? We can make some of those decisions. ⁓ And as our company grows, hopefully ⁓ we can also see some independence there as we train our teams, right? And we can step back in certain ways and determine how we wanna show up and what we want it to look like to some extent, right? So what, for me, there have definitely been a lot of surprises along the way, think. And that's just what it is. Those surprises are the ones that kind of throw you for a loop, because it's the things that you think you're prepared for, and you're like, oh, I've got this. Or, oh, I think this is going to be an issue, so I'm going to really prepare for this. And then it's not really an issue. Maybe it's not an issue because you're prepared, but then there are other things that just kind of pop up, and they're like, wow, this wasn't on my radar. I didn't even know this was a thing. What in the world? So let's talk about those surprises. ⁓ a surprise, good and bad, right? Like the positive and the negative. What things have surprised you the most being in this business owner journey and parallel to the mom journey? speaker-3: I think aside from, you know, one of the non-work related surprises was how much I would come to value sleep and silence. You know, I used to love going to concerts and, you know, all of the things. And then I was like, oh my gosh, I have 10 seconds of silence. Someone's not calling me. Someone's not next to me. I'll talk to them. So that means that something that was just unique when you become a parent because all of a sudden you have this little, you know, bundle of energy and joy that needs you all the time. And I think that happens with, you know, running a company, too, right? You are the go-to person and somebody needs you all of the time. So it was surprising to think, from the moment that I will, I'm not asleep, you know, the moment that I'm up all night, you know, feeding or changing or trying to bounce back to bed. And then now I'm also on. the second that I go to work and I'm on that entire time, you know, it's on in a different way from, when I was on being a BCBA or when I was on being a behavior technician, because when you're in those roles, you can almost, you know, get really focused on what am I teaching? What am I working on in this exact moment? I'm here with my kid, I'm focused, I'm here with a parent and I'm really focused. But now you've got phone buzzing because something's going wrong with, you child care or at the same time you're in a meeting trying to, you know, figure out or put out a fire that's happening. So I was a little bit surprised at the amount of things I would need to be attending to at once. Positively though, I was really also, I guess, surprised that, you know, having a different lens to look through in terms of motherhood really changed the way that I lead. ⁓ So being able to sit down and say, do I want my son to show up in the world? How do I want myself to show up in the world? I spent a lot of time thinking about my own values and how my behavior relates to those values. And then I was able to look through that lens at Kinpathic and say, ⁓ these are Kinpathic values. And how do I want... know, our agency values to be reflected in the world. So that was a really nice surprise in that focusing so much on my own values and motherhood, I was able to do that for the business as well. speaker-2: For me, I'd say something that came up with my son, you know, because like I said, we opened as a company in November. ⁓ You know, we're still, I'm still baby CEO kind of thing. But ⁓ my son, and I think I've shared a little bit about this in the CEO mom's chat when we were celebrating wins, or maybe it was one of the win Wednesdays or something like that. But ⁓ my son, ⁓ ended up having some delays and he's still ⁓ diagnosed with dysphagia, which is difficulty swallowing. And so we've been in the thick of it for the past almost nine months now of therapies, feeding therapies, ECI, things like that. And on one hand, professional knowledge has allowed me to advocate for him in a way that if I wasn't in this field and didn't know early intervention is key and all those things that ⁓ I wouldn't have advocated perhaps as strongly for him. But it's also really given me a new perspective and like a new empathy for what families are going through. And it's really driven the mission that we've set forth with ⁓ Empower Adults Consulting, which is now actually Amaryllis Behavioral Health. That's a name change that we literally rolled out this week. to better align with the fact that we aren't gonna be just working with adults. We're gonna add in some teen services. But when I was developing my mission statement, I was really looking at like, what are the gaps in traditional ABA and how can I support families in our community that for whatever reason, know, moms, dads working can't figure out a way to get to a traditional clinic or in-home service with traditional schedules. because that was something that as I'm trying to fit in therapy with my kids and how do I get this all figured out and stuff that I realized like, wow, it was so eye-opening to think about. Maybe there's lots of families that they go to an ABA clinic and because of the, you have to have this many hours out of the recommended hours or our hours are 8.30 to 5.30 and that's it, that's the cutoff, right? I wanted to build something different because of my own lived experience with my son. So that was kind of a ⁓ blessing and a curse. know, like do I wish that I didn't have to go through that? Obviously, but it's really been a guiding light for how I'm developing my company and our mission statement and where we're trying to focus our services. speaker-1: I think for me, like one of the biggest struggles ⁓ has been all the like emotional regulation that I have to do for everybody. Like, so my daughter was diagnosed with autism, ADHD and dyslexia a few years ago. And then I was recently diagnosed like about a year after her. I feel like that's like the story these days, right? Is like your kid gets diagnosed and then you're like, that hits a little too close to home. And so that was part, so. trying to like relearn some of these things about myself while also, you know, helping my child like through these things. And ⁓ she's very intelligent. She's always questioning and always like trying to understand the why. And so I've got to like pull all of that out. And then the staff, right? We get a lot of young staff who are coming in and so they have their own things going on that they have at home and really trying to be more of that understanding, like empathetic leader and not just saying, well, that's your personal problem. It doesn't affect here because it does, right? I mean, it bleeds over. Everything bleeds over. You can't just draw a line or draw a wall and say, ⁓ everything stays out there. Nothing ever comes in with you here. ⁓ But yeah, trying to emotionally regulate between myself and then my kid and then all the staff at work, that I think was something that I definitely did not expect. ⁓ to be having to do all the time. But I think as far as a good surprise, it's been really cool to see ⁓ how my family's super involved with our company. And so it's been really neat to see how the support... While I'm supporting staff, staff are also supporting us too. And so it's a really cool team dynamic that I didn't necessarily expect that either. ⁓ Sometimes you get into leadership and you're like, ⁓ man, I have to make all the decisions and who do I turn to, right? Who's there? I mean, I'm not sitting there venting about all my stresses to them, but it's still nice that they'll ask and, ⁓ hey, how are you doing? And things look off, is there something I can take off of your plate? It's just nice to have that ⁓ part of it too. speaker-4: And something surprising for me has been a of my expectations for myself as a mother and reality. So when ⁓ we got pregnant, ⁓ we were one of the couples that we didn't even know if we wanted kids. So when we made that decision to ⁓ start a family, I had these expectations for myself that it was the baby's coming, I'm gonna go straight back to work. speaker-2: in the time. speaker-4: This I was planning everything out to a T and she made her debut three weeks early, throwing me completely off of my track. So being the planner that I am, that's how I started motherhood. was, my gosh, we were that night. My husband was at my water broke. My husband was in the car, putting the car seat in in the middle of the night. So that's how we started our journey as parents. And it's been one of the speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-3: We speaker-4: I say that was surprising because as the planner that I am, thought I had everything planned out. I thought I had everything figured out and her coming early, completely changing up my plan has been one of the things that I still, I feel like I'm still navigating. I feel like I'm still learning every day. Once she was here, then it turned into. I thought I was just gonna bounce back and go back to work. that's what, like, that was the plan, right? And then it turned into, I actually wanna stay home with her more. And I was not prepared for that. ⁓ I thought I was just going to, we do have family that also supports us and that is one of our biggest blessings. So I thought, you my mom is gonna take care of her. I'm just gonna go back to work. Then you have like the challenges of like. time and what does that look like? for me, one of the biggest surprises was that tug of I have my first baby, my business that I absolutely love and adore. And now I have this tiny human who has completely changed my, I said I was not going to cry and here I am. Just changed my outlook on life and what's important and our values as a family. So I wasn't prepared for that tug. And I don't think that as a business owner, nobody really prepares you for that to say, hey, your plan may completely change in a matter of seconds. So that has been one of the most surprising things for me, just my expectations for myself and my plans for myself and just adapting to the constant changes. Cause even on a daily basis, I'm like, all right, yeah, let's go to work. And then on Sundays I'm like. I'm going to play hooky. want to go to the park with my baby. ⁓ So it's a very interesting tug of the most important things in your life and adapting to those changes that nobody talks about. And it's really interesting also to be in this role. Not a lot of people get the CEO and mother ⁓ title. ⁓ It is very different. felt like I don't fit in anywhere. ⁓ No one really knows what this because I'm a working mom, I'm working 24 seven and then I'm also a mom 24 seven. So you don't, you don't really get a break. So it's a very interesting category to be in. Now the positives of this is ⁓ someone here mentioned that, that empathy that grows with now I am a mother and I understand my parents a lot, lot more. talk about sleep more, we talk about eating more, doing those check-ins with our families to make sure that they're. okay and that we're there to support them, whatever that looks like for them, whether it's a schedule change, whether it's you just need somebody to listen for a couple of minutes until we can regroup and then get back on track. So it's definitely changed how I view myself as leader as well. And just making sure that we we're leading with our values and just making sure that we're the best providers for our family. speaker-0: Yes, thank you all of you for sharing. it's also that's why I'm so excited about this conversation because I think that those listening will really relate to at least one if not all of the experiences here. ⁓ know, when ⁓ yeah, I mean, my good friend and I she's not an ABA but she is a real estate. ⁓ agent and ⁓ has a really, really thriving business. she's her mother was an entrepreneur. Her mother owned a Hallmark store. ⁓ And so her mom used to say that her store was her twins, right? And then like, my friend, like her only child, but still was her child, right? So she had three kids, the twins, which was the store. and then her kid. And so my friend Katie has, over the years, she shared with me those stories about her mom. And so that kind of gave her a little bit of expectation, coming into being a mom and an entrepreneur. And ⁓ one of the biggest things she learned from her mom and helping her mom with the store over the years was to pivot, right? ⁓ But that was like a newer thing for me, pivoting, right? Because I'm such a planner. ⁓ And then, you know, I... your typical like ADHD kind of scattered kid who throughout my life was like, ⁓ if you just try harder, right? If you just work at this more. And so I thought, okay, so I've got to plan all the things. I just have to like really work hard to make sure I have everything planned perfectly and lined up just the way it's supposed to be. And then everything will like, everything will work out. ⁓ But no, it doesn't work that way. So if anything else, if anything that I've learned in this entire ⁓ journey has been like, how to be more flexible and how to pivot and how to not take it personally as like my work, how not to measure my worth by those things. Yeah, it's quite a journey. Motherhood itself, all alone is quite a journey. And I do think that being owners of ABA, being in the ABA field come with its own specific set of, I don't wanna call them challenges, just circumstances maybe, right? Because, you know, there's that, ⁓ We do this for a living. We help other people with their children for a living. But what about our own kids? Does that hold us to like, do we feel like it holds us to a different standard for our own kids? Or even as Corinne said that, you know, she realized that she couldn't be there for littles all day long and then come home to littles. You know, I had a similar experience. I went back to work way too soon. We were doing payroll when Willis was two days old. And we were like, we had all of our paperwork lined up and we were like, and you know, I just didn't know. I didn't know how to make this work. I had no idea. We were working out of our business pretty much like the first nine, working out of our home the first nine months of his life with people coming in and out. And he was a super early talker. And I joke that is because he was like surrounded by BCBAs this whole entire first year, right? Like he had no choice but to be a talker. But he also had speech issues. had like some swelling, had some feeding. We had like a whole nursing journey that just was just another level of heart on top of that. And, ⁓ you know, so I was also sitting in a speech therapist office in the waiting room as a parent. And I get a little tiny taste of what that would look like. And then my first session, my first session back ⁓ to work ⁓ with a kiddo in home, in the floor, it was a new client. He was 18 months old. And I cried. I couldn't do the session. I cried. I was like, oh my gosh, this is someone's baby. And he was, you know, he was, he was, the family was in a really challenging spot with some pretty challenging behaviors that was really impacting their lives, right? And, you know, it was her first baby. It was a little boy and she wanted so much, had so many dreams for her child, right? As we all do. And life was looking very, very different for her. I came home and I told Stephen, was like, I'm never going to another session again. I like, I'm done. I was like, I'll sit behind a desk for the rest of this whole journey. I don't, I want to continue this journey. I'm even more passionate about making sure my staff is going to show up in the ways for these families, but I can't do it. Well, and I did go back, but I did take some time. I backed away a little bit from that and I did pour into my staff a bit. ⁓ And then I did go back to working with some of my prior clients that I had some of my older kids that I had worked with prior to you going out on maternity leave for like the whole like what two weeks I went out on maternity leave because that's another thing do we even get maternity leave when we're like owners, right? So yeah, so it does give us ⁓ such a such a perspective ⁓ an understanding of ⁓ of others and the families that we work with however, I think too, I don't maybe this is just my own experience But I feel at the same time, it can be very lonely. And we can feel really alone and feel like no one else feels the way that we're feeling right now and no one else understands. Those of you who know me know that I don't believe there's such a thing as balance, right? I go into whole kinds of like, you know, like squirrel mode when I start talking about this. ⁓ But there are still, there's so many things that we have to do and there's so many things on our plate and there are so many things that... we feel like we're the only ones that can do, right? And it makes it really hard for us to do life sometimes, right? ⁓ And I think it's really big in society right now. Maybe it's just social media, but like the talk of like mental load, right? And if there's specific challenges with that that you guys have ⁓ as a mom and an owner and anything that maybe you have found that even if it's just in this season and it's a small help in this moment, that maybe someone else could, you know, they could help someone else if there's anything you want to share. speaker-1: Okay, I'm gonna jump on this one super quick. This is what like, I know, when you were talking a little bit, was like, starting my brain was starting to go this direction of like, when you, I don't know, maybe this is me like growing up, but like, I would always think of like CEOs or owners of businesses as they have all together, right? Like they have everything together at work. They always show up to their meetings on time. They always have everything ready right away. Their kids are like, so well behaved and there's always this fabulous dinner on the table and your house is clean and just like people have all together all the time, right? And luckily, so before I got into ABA, I was a preschool teacher and then I did in-home daycare for a while. And I had a mom that she was a lawyer. And so I always had this just like, gosh, she's just, you know, she comes in and she's dressed so cute and her kids are always dressed so cute and you know, she's got it together. And then there was one day she came in and said, I'm really sorry. but ⁓ they're still in their pajamas and they had cold pizza for breakfast. So if you've got anything a little healthier maybe, you know, and it just was kind of like an eye-opener of like, ⁓ it's okay. Like people perceive you, right? As, ⁓ that you're in this position and they have this thought. And so then that comes onto you and you're like, now I have to have all of that together. And there've been other conversations like throughout like recent times of. of other people that, friends of ours who are in higher leadership positions. And we just laugh about all the silly things that we have to do and how we walk into meetings sometimes and we're stumped, right? Like, oops, I forgot my notes or I have no idea, like would they answer that question? And so just being genuine and saying like, I don't know, I can look that up for you, right? Like, but I don't have to know all the answers. I think it's been a really good like fact check to just myself that. it's okay to not have it all together all the time. And I think that was the biggest thing for me was to give myself like permission to let some things go. And that it doesn't always have to be perfect because I too am like, it has to be like my way is the best way. Of course it is. why, like why wouldn't you want to do it my way? Right? Like it's efficient. It's, you know, not messy. don't know, whatever, like all these things. But then I sit there and I'm like, I only have so much in my bucket, right? Like I've got a bucket and every little thing is to drop out, a drop out. And by the end of the day, if I don't let somebody help me, I'm not gonna have anything left in my bucket to give to anybody else. And then I'm not an effective leader, an effective mom, an effective wife, like all those things at the end of the day, giving myself permission to say, it's okay, it's all right, other people can do it. And it's all right if it's not exactly how you would have done it as long as we get the same goal, right? mess is picked up and you're fed and it may not always be the most healthy thing, but you got something in you and things are running well. speaker-3: You're spot on just with the kind of letting go part. I think that's been one of biggest challenges for me. it's going to be a challenge for the rest of my life probably because, know, some of you were talking about the need to have everything organized and in a box and ready to go. And before I had my assignment, that was me. I was like down to the minute and it still trickles in here. have people to spot check my weather and I don't put lunch into my calendar. But that's the hard piece, like giving up the control to say, if something fails. It's going to be time. Right? the end of the day, that kind of like flexibility to be like, okay, this didn't go the way that I had planned it to go. And whether that's, you know, the fact that I have 16 different apps to check to my school and that newsletter, right? What I'm registering for lunch, the pick up time if it changed and who needs to be there to pick up and you know, the... thing I need to buy and then the next kid event that's happening. Those things are coming in via technology in all sorts of ways these days. And I'm trying to focus on all those while I've also got my Google Calendar to the tee for the company. And then I've got 16 other calendars that I'm also supposed to be monitoring. Things are going to fall apart sometimes. And like you said, you just have to be like, that's okay. It's all right to not have it all together and kind of look... back, I think that at the end of the day or the end of the week or whenever you really remember to even do it, because sometimes I don't, one thing that's been really helpful for me is reflecting on the successes of the day, right? Like, what are those little bright spots that I felt like I was a good mom, right? You know, I try to do that with my son at night. I'm like, ⁓ buddy, like, let's think about like, what is some part that you thought was really, like awesome about your day to day, whether it was just something super small, like, ⁓ you know, like, I remembered my water bottle. You know, cause sometimes those are the big things, especially for kids. It's like, ⁓ I have this super cool stuffy. Like my kids really into Pokemon right now. So sometimes he's just like, mom, I really love Pikachu. That's my, that's my bright spot. And I'm like, that's great. Like, it's so awesome to find that tiny thing that makes you so incredibly happy. And when you get in the thick of planning and scheduling and making sure that we did the laundry and that we didn't forget about bath night and you forget, it's so easy to lose sight of those things, you know, and that happens cyclically. find myself in those spots where I'm like, ⁓ my God, I'm so in the in everything that I can't even I don't know what day it is. I can't remember the last time that I was like, ⁓ wow, I really enjoyed that activity, like fully enjoyed something ⁓ without being distracted by like my to do list. And so you have to be really intentional about it ⁓ in order to keep that kind of positivity and that like lightness to things when you're trying to navigate. keeping track of 400 things every day. And you have not only your own child relying on you, but the families that you serve are relying on you, the staff that you hire are relying on you. And so I think those components together can feel very heavy sometimes. And April, you mentioned feeling like you're alone, like on an island out there somewhere. I always hear that phrase that when you're solo at the top, you're just there by yourself, right? It's like you're at the top of this mountain. ⁓ So having that community and like the one that you guys have established, think is really, really helpful. speaker-2: So a couple of things based on what Jess and Tiffany have said. ⁓ I think I was really blessed when I was an employee in a pediatric ABA clinic to have kind of a front row seat to the CEO and COO of the company being moms and I joined that company when they were, their kids were like two and three months old and was a part of that company up until the kids were seven. So like I got to kind of see the mom journey there as like a front row seat. ⁓ So like I kind of got to see them grow as business owners and as moms and kind of seeing like some of the challenges that they ran into, ⁓ know, kind of gave me like an idea that like in my own journey, like it's okay to like you guys said, not have the answer or to ⁓ have to kind of prioritize, like, I got to be mom right now, or I got to be CEO right now. And, and that then has given me permission to try and start telling myself, I don't have to have set working hours. Like I can, I can be CEO from eight to 10 and mom from 10 to 12 and then back to CEO for 10, you know, 12 to whatever, and then do bedtime and then go back to like, I don't, I don't have to work eight to five every day, right? Like it can be a flexible schedule and ⁓ And within that, then maybe there are times where I'm in mom mode and an employee calls and I have to really like say and teach my employees, is it an emergency? Like, is it time sensitive? Do I need to talk to you right now? Because if it is, I'll temporarily pause mom mode and go into CEO mode, right? But if it's not an emergency, then I'm going to stay in mom mode because that's what my family needs right now in this exact moment. Right? Like if I'm at a daycare event or, you know, like, you know, it's bedtime or something like that. But if it's an emergency mode and I can, because I can't always switch out of mom mode because of my husband's work schedule, he's a firefighter, so he's gone one out of every three days. So sometimes I literally can't be in CEO mode because it's bedtime and I'm the only one putting the kids to bed. Right? So like, there's been a lot of an adjustment in these last four or five months of like, giving myself permission to not be always on for the company because sometimes it's just literally, I can't. ⁓ And I explain that to the employees and I'm fortunate that all of my employees are also moms right now. So they understand it. They've been either ⁓ been in the trenches with me or their kids are older, but they still remember it. ⁓ And so there's a lot of empathy and shared grace for all of us. Kind of, think it was Amaryllis that was saying that, like of understanding like when your employees are going through something too and like having that ⁓ ability to like help them too, ⁓ you know, helping them deal with it because yeah, we can't, no, and Jess I think mentioned this too, like we can't always just like put everything out at the door and say like, life doesn't exist when I walk through the clinic because that's just not reality. Like we're gonna carry that with us. And so how do we help each other deal with the mom piece of life that sometimes we can't put to the side? speaker-4: My thoughts are very, very similar to what you all have experienced. I think for me, especially with the mental load, has been accepting help and asking for help when I'm actually really drowning. ⁓ I come from a Hispanic background where the female typically makes all of the meals, keeps the house clean, takes care of the kids. And I'm kind of breaking the mold. ⁓ in that I'm attempting to do all of those things and also run a business at the same time. So ⁓ it's been very eye-opening for me to put some of those stereotypes to the side and those kind of like cultural expectations ⁓ and just ask for help whenever I need it, whether it's we hired somebody to clean our house and that's unheard of in my family. So really looking at like what are, ⁓ those things that need to take a pause and I don't need to do myself help. Very similar to what you all have been experiencing as well and just accepting that help. I will say I have two resources that I want to share. I'm a big book girl and learning from other people's experiences. One of the books I'm reading right now is called Drop the Ball. And it's one of the biggest concepts is if somebody can do it at 80%, cannot delegate it. ⁓ And that can go across both business and mom life. And if somebody is able to step in and do this for me at 80%, can I let it go? And then also being the perfectionist that I am, that is very, very hard. But work in progress, we're working on it. And then the other one that I really, really loved is called How to Keep the House While Drowning. And that book is written by a mom who also has ADHD. ⁓ And she talks about her experience with trying to keep up with all of the things and kind of the mental rules that we create for ourselves. So one of the examples that I really loved in her book was you can't run the dishwasher until it's full. And she's like, well, why not? Who came up with this rule? So it really pushes back on some of those rules. ⁓ that we create for ourselves that like, why were they even rules to begin with? So those two books have been really, really great for me and accepting help on asking for help. A month before ⁓ my baby girl came to the world, I actually hired a credentialing and billing company. And I think that the timing could have been more perfect because I was doing all of those things myself and I would have failed terribly if it weren't for. ⁓ for them helping me out in that area, ⁓ as well as my family stepping in to support. One of my favorite memories of my brother was postpartum. He went into my kitchen and cleaned my kitchen. It sounds very small, but the magnitude of that action, I'm gonna have a beautiful picture of my brother in my kitchen, ⁓ spotless kitchen, by the way, good job. ⁓ It's one of those, the little things that accepting that help and knowing like I'm not alone and I don't have to do this alone. ⁓ It's really hard, but it's also to feel that love and that support is one of the most beautiful things that I have experienced in my motherhood journey. ⁓ yeah, accepting help is one of the biggest things I think with the mental load and assigning those things out when you have people that are willing to jump in and help you out. speaker-3: would say that asking for help is such a huge step. And even this many years in, my team has recently started encouraging me to stop participating in some meetings because they've got it. I have also a wonderful team. All of our administrators, minus one, are also moms. ⁓ you know and they're in a really good place to say like we've got this like you can step back you know where's your focus ⁓ a book i like to recommend is called the one thing ⁓ i think it's by gary keller and and it really helps me to say you know what is the the one thing that should take priority today. And although I love contributing to these meetings, love knowing, you know, as a CEO, you feel like you need to know what's going on in every single department, in every single role, in every single family, in every kid. And I think my co-owner, Sylvia, and I, one of the biggest shifts that we had to make was, ⁓ my gosh, we don't know every staff's face any longer. We don't know, you know, every kid's situation. We don't know every family personally. And having to move. away from that and be that involved in everything and know everything. It's another, I think, struggle to relinquish some of that control and then be able to say, actually, we've got a much larger agency now. I think we're heading towards 60 staff over here, which was not our plan in the beginning. We wanted to be teeny-tiny. ⁓ But being able to ask for help. gives us back the time to really focus in on those things that are a priority or are those things that are going to drive us forward or make sure that we're available mentally, emotionally, physically so that we can keep doing the work that we're doing. Because it's cliche, but they always say you can't help others till you help yourself. I feel like we even, I think, April, you mentioned like, what does that even mean? How do we help ourselves? How do we take care of ourselves? I think we forget as BCBAs to even use the tools that we recommend for other families. We're like, I'm so great at developing this parent training. I'm so great at coaching this person. I'm so great at mentoring this mentee. And then I myself am a mess over here. So another big thing that's been helpful in that regard is acceptance and commitment therapy. That's something in the last decade that people have been talking a lot more about. And that really was helpful when I felt like I don't know which direction I'm going in. going back to those things about figuring out your values, are you aligned with your values, are your actions aligned with your values, ⁓ those things have been really helpful as well. speaker-2: trying to make a shift in my schedule ⁓ at work of ⁓ prioritizing one setting or one kind of role each day ⁓ because so far it's just been kind of like I just put meetings wherever and I just see clients wherever because I'm still in both clinician and business owner role right now and because we work with ⁓ here in Texas, the Medicaid waivers for the adults. We have two agencies we work with. I'm getting ready to sign another contract with another agency and we have a day program that we contract with, but this is all like consultation, maybe, you know, 30 minutes to an hour a week with each client kind of thing. So it was kind of like, well, I'm just going to see clients with each agency whenever blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? So, and then my schedule was like, right? And I'm trying to bounce. back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And I also have ADHD and that just isn't working. ⁓ So now I'm trying to say like, okay, Mondays are more for ⁓ invoicing and working on the business. And then Tuesdays are with this agency and then Wednesdays and Fridays are with this agency. And then Thursdays are with this day program, right? And like it's given me structure. And now I'm also giving myself permission to be a little flexible. Like, cause if I have this plan, right? And then I'm rigid. It's still not gonna work because things are gonna come up, right? But in general, it's a rough plan. ⁓ And I can't remember the name of the guy who wrote the book and has ⁓ the planner system. It's the full functional planner, I think is what it's called. But he talks about having your ideal week. And so you set out what you would love your ideal week to look like. And then same thing, right? Things come up, you can't always stick to your ideal week, but it gives you that template to kind of go off of and my former boss at that company that I worked for is actually the one who introduced me to it. And I used it as a BCA and a clinical director and then, know, time has shifted and I'm in a different role. And so I wasn't using it anymore. And as I was starting to feel just the overwhelm and the chaos and I was like, I just, what? Right. And then I was like, I gotta go back to this, right? Like we, this, I know this works. And so that's. something that is kind of like the priority of the day, you know, what's my overall priority of the day. Okay. It's this agency and the clients at this agency or it's in-home ABA at this point in time kind of thing. So ⁓ that's similar to what Tiffany was saying is, is something that I'm implementing and going back to and I'm finding it has really taken some of the mental load off because I already know the baseline of my week. speaker-1: Yeah, I was going to say something kind of similar along that of something I'm... This is like a recent change because I'm the same way. I'm just like, ⁓ when are you available? I'll make it work for you. I want to be so accommodating. But then at same time that I'm like, okay, but now I'm not getting this insurance call done. And now I'm not getting back to this potential staff member and things were dropping. And so something like recently that I'm... trying to implement more consistently is to look at my to-do list and pick one or two big projects. These are just my one or two big projects for today. Not looking at the list and saying, ⁓ my gosh, I have all these big projects, I have to get these done first before I can get to the little ones. Because then you're sitting there all day and then you don't get through all the big projects and then you feel bad that you didn't get through all the projects. But if you can divide it out, then you still have that mental load to say, okay, I've got, these were my big targets for today and I've got some time. I've got some wiggle room that if I do have to pause and go, you know, help with the situation, then I can go do that and come back. But I know that it's okay because I'll have time later in the week to get to those other big projects. I don't have to do them all right now. And I think that's been a big shift because for the longest time it felt like you just putting out fires, you know, you didn't ever like, I didn't ever take the time to sit down and say, all right, I need. an hour, you know, a couple of times a week where nobody talks to me and I'm just going to sit here and, and take the time to look at my schedule and to plan those things out instead of just responding to everybody else's crisis. You know, it just not effective, you know, when you're, when you're doing that and you burn yourself out. So. speaker-2: I think it's speaker-0: Absolutely. speaker-3: about mindset though too, right? Cause I used to, I mean, we all talk about Sunday's Garries, right? You're like, Sunday, you're like, what do I have to do on Monday morning? Do I have the lunch prepped and do I have this going? And did I get to that email and did I finish the treatment plan? And I, for the last year, really have been trying to change the way that I view that. And instead that's when I do my planning and like Sunday success, right? Like I'm setting myself up for success by doing what you guys are doing with your schedule, saying like, this is what's going to happen on Monday. This is what's going to happen on Tuesday. And then like you said, Corinne, for working with the flexibility, like if it didn't go the way I planned, I now have the skills to navigate that. looking at it that way every Sunday, instead of saying like, ⁓ my God, here's this laundry list of things that I know I'm not going to get to, I'm not going to get to at all, or I'm going to feel like I am upset when I didn't finish that one big project or something moved me from it. Instead, I'm like, hey, these are the things I'd love to see happen during the week, and I'm going to feel really great when they do. ⁓ And just having that little shift in perspective, if you can set that up regularly, I find that when the things don't go to plan, I'm like, I set this up in the way that I wanted to see it. I gave myself some wiggle room, but also then, you know, knowing like these are things I can't budge, right? Like my kid's karate class, he's got a test this week, I'm going to be there. I'm going to show up, I'm going to be there, I'm going to be present for that. So nothing else gets blocked in that time. Everyone has access to my calendar and it says I am not available. ⁓ That makes me even if those other things, you know, don't work out. That is the piece that I can hold on to to say like, I showed up for that. I did that. And now that's carrying me through the remainder of the week. speaker-0: Yes, I mean, everything that you guys are saying like resonates so much. And I just love that it's all coming together in the way that it is in this conversation, because, you know, I ⁓ a lot of these things that I've tried myself and I feel like I've, you know, taking different ⁓ strategies to learn, like reading books, listening podcasts, listening to other moms, you know, trying to figure things out myself, trying to apply the science, you know, I'm also really big into acts and like trying to apply that to myself. But you sometimes, like you said, Tiffany, sometimes it's not, it's about what can I, what can I get done now to help me next week, right? What can I put into place or what can I put on my plate or what can I take off my plate to help set me up for success for the next week? I do, I believe in weekly planning for sure. ⁓ But I do think it's important to understand what kind of time you have to work with. That's been something that I've recently reconnected with and I took a little time log. really truly believe in taking a week or two weeks to take your own little time log. It doesn't have to be perfect just to kind of see where am I spending my time. ⁓ And I realized that the reason I was chronically behind and overwhelmed, I had gotten myself back into that spot again, was because I had the mentality that I had a 40 hour work week, but I don't. I really have about right now in my season of life, I have 20, maybe 25 hours a week that I can dedicate to full on focused time and that includes meetings, right? And so that was eye opening. Once I recognized, oh, because right now I'm in like sandwich generation. I'm helping to take care of my in-laws. I'm often going to doctor's appointments that take a full day out of my life. And do I want to be there for that? Absolutely. And then I'm a little bit different right now because my company is with, we're doing three pi squared and we have our podcast and we have a million projects going on. And ⁓ that does allow for some more flexibility than if we were seeing, like when we were clinic based, right? When we were seeing clients. And however, know, Steven, my husband, my partner, he has the availability to have closer to a 40 hour work week, right? He's kind of the, he's the lead of the company. He's the, you know, and it's a decision that we made together of, okay, who takes what, who takes, you know, so it is kind of, you know, how we've decided is my role to do the afternoons with, you know, with our child. However, I did say, hey, I need one afternoon. Can you give me one afternoon that I could like have a work day? So I could, cause what happened with me is like by the time I can sit down to get to do work or whatever, I would get in the zone and then it's time to turn it off and turn into mom mode, right? And I was really finding that challenging. So together we worked on that. And so like Tuesdays is my day, right? And he greets our child off the bus. He does homework time. He's a great dad. He is an involved dad. It's just that I had taken that role. And so it was hard to ask for help because I felt like, and I even told him, said, I feel like I'm not a good enough mom. Like, what? What? Why do we do that? And so now on Tuesdays, there's a very, there's understanding in our world that Willis comes up and he gives me a hug and tells me about his day for like five minutes and then he leaves. And like, I'm in my office and we pretend like I'm not at home. So that's just one little thing that happened that's helping. in this season, but I love, love Corinne how you're talking about, you know, flexibility and, also like having that routine and that flow of, okay, maybe Tuesday's our meeting day, maybe Wednesday's our invoicing day, maybe Thursday's the day that we just get to hang out at the clinic and observe some sessions and pair with our staff and, you know, whatever, whatever that looks like. But I do think that I'm curious, from so many good things that you guys said. just really, I really wanna sit with these things too. And I hope that our listeners, maybe even as you listen to this podcast, listen to it and then go back and like listen to it and little excerpts and maybe choose one thing that one of us has found helpful for us say, that may be one thing that I wanna take away and try next week. Don't try them all. Don't try to change it all at once. Don't be like, ⁓ they all seem like they've got it together. They all seem like they've got great ideas. I'm going to do all of it. Yeah, no, no. You will end up in bed under the covers. speaker-2: was Jess that said that, you know, hearing the lawyer say, my kids are in pajamas and had cold pizza for breakfast today was kind of a like shift in an eye-opener. And I promise, I don't know about the rest of you, but having it all put together is the very opposite definition of our life right now. It's just organized chaos. speaker-0: And I had this, you know, I think there's this, how do I want to say this? I do think there's this sense of learning ourselves, right? And that's a process within its own, right? Just for humans, as we grow and we learn and we change and we hit new seasons of life, we have to learn to adjust and change and grow and even figure out who we are. And as moms, sometimes those first, you know, 10 years of life, maybe even more, maybe forever, I don't know, I'm only 11 years in, ⁓ we lose ourselves and when we start to get some independence and our kids are able to do more things and we're finding ourselves with a little bit more extra time, I don't know if that's the right way of saying it, but then we're like, who am I and what do I even like? What would I do if I had one hour with nothing on my plate? And same as we grow our businesses, right? We're always gonna be part of it, but as we should, as owners not have our hand in everything, like Tiffany was saying, I mean, you don't have to attend every meeting, right? Figure out your dashboard of what are the key metrics that you wanna hear, that you want them to report back to you, and then you check in on it, and then when things, you kinda have like a measurement for yourself of, when this starts to happen, yes, I can hop in before things fall apart, I can like start asking questions, I can still be part of it. but you don't have to do everything. But as that shift happens too, I think sometimes we find ourselves in that season of life where we're like, well, I don't know what to do with myself. So like right now, for instance, like Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday from three to five, I'm mom mode. Yes, flexibility of course, like Corinne said. 10 to 2.30, I'm a work mode. But even through that, have like days that I have myself available for meetings. And then I have focus blocks where I'm like teaching myself, that whole thing. All of you are already there, but I am not teaching myself to focus on one thing and one thing only during a certain amount of time and doing it well and getting through that. It's been a process. In some days, it works great. And I'm like, look at me, why haven't I done this? Why haven't I been doing this every day of my life? This is easy. All I have to do is set my timer, put my sticky note, do my thing. And okay, I conquered life. I know what I'm doing. And then the next day, I'm an hour and a half into my two-hour focus block and I'm still scrolling. speaker-3: is my email, right? If I leave that tab open, and I'm supposed to be focused on something else, ⁓ I have to, I have to go in and specifically close that tab out and be like, I am not going to check my work email during this hour. Otherwise, I'm ping ponging back and forth between the two. And then I'm like, wait, what did I even start this block working on? ⁓ Pulled into something else. speaker-0: A lot of times when we're in these things, right? But it's also like, okay, but my staff needs me or my kid needs me or but like the fires, right? What about like for us? Like, do any of you have any very specific, like I'm like, I got my three to five is for my child. You're like, I've got karate, right? Is anyone blocking time where they are saying, don't bother me for no reason? speaker-1: I wouldn't say that I necessarily block it, where I say I'm not available. But I try one day a week, just because I need a recharge day. Yes. Where I don't talk to people. I don't want to see anybody. mean, my family, of course, my husband, my child, my dog, whatever, right? I can't avoid them. But there are some days, my husband's like, do you just want to go to a hotel and just not look at anybody or clean it? Yes. OK, it's yet to happen. But it's a nice idea. I don't know. I just take a day. Usually those are Saturdays and it works out great because my kid also needs a recharge day and so we'll both say like We need a day where we don't have to it doesn't matter what time we get up It doesn't matter if we brush our hair. It doesn't matter if we change out of our sweats like we can just Do whatever we want whether that's watching TV or playing video games or doing crafts, whatever but not feeling that like urge to have to check my email or have to ⁓ you know, answer a phone call. mean, there'll be days where my sister texts me and I'm like, I'll get to them when I get to them, you know, it doesn't feel like that pressure. So not necessarily like intentionally like blocking it out and really, I mean, I don't communicate that the best. Maybe that would probably be better to you, but I think just having some time to like tell yourself I'm not feeling the rush to get back to everything. So I've gotten there. It's not always, it doesn't always happen. I mean, but trying as much as I can, cause I know I can't keep my own head. you know, above water if I don't take some time to recharge. So. speaker-4: Mine is a combined answer. I'm going to go a little bit back to what you were mentioning about your weekly and daily task. Whereas for me, when I was trying to create a schedule while being at home with my daughter, it became the tug of being a present mom and being a present CEO. those who... You could try to make it work, but it is extremely, extremely difficult. So... ⁓ As a family, we made the decision to enroll her in daycare, which comes with its own set of mom guilt and all of the emotions that come with that. ⁓ But what I had to tell myself was I'm a better mom because she is currently at a place where she's being cared for and all of the attention and she's getting those experiences and I'm able to focus on the things that I need to focus on. So something that And I've shared this in the group and it's been really, really exciting is that I kind of have a work block where it's, let's say, nine to three, nine to 430. I kind of try to schedule it that way. But Fridays are my protected days where I work a half day and everyone on my team knows I am not available. And I go and spend the rest of the day with my girl and we go on adventures. And that's something that I kind of look forward to every week. And it's been... ⁓ It's really hard to set up those types of schedules because something is always happening, but ⁓ I really do try my best to protect that time together so that ⁓ I know that I'm doing everything to make that happen and we can create some really awesome memories instead of me trying to divide myself into 500 different roles all at the same time. I haven't gotten to the place where I have that uninterrupted me time. ⁓ I do try to schedule a weekly aerial yoga, which is really fun. did work with an ACT therapist who told me one time, she's like, you know, don't have to just completely sit still and meditate for this to be effective. And I was like, what? don't have to stay still. I didn't know that. So aerial yoga has been really, really great for me as the adrenaline junkie that I am. So that's been really fun. So I do try to schedule that in. ⁓ at least on a bi-weekly basis is my goal, but that's as close to a schedule for myself for like that recharge that I've kind of found that works or that's a work in progress because it's not consistent, but that's as close as I get. speaker-1: to that. speaker-2: For me, ⁓ it's been a journey because my ⁓ husband's schedule rotates, right? So it's a three week rotation and it's set in stone. So I could go three years out and know when he's working, right? ⁓ So it's predictable, but it rotates. And so I can't say, ⁓ it's Tuesdays or ⁓ it's whatever day because one out of every three weeks he's gonna be working that day. Right. ⁓ So what we settled in on was the day before, so the day he comes off shift, we do what my daughter affectionately calls big bedtime, which is bedtime with mom and dad. And so she gets mom and dad at bedtime on those days. And then obviously when he's on shift, bedtime is just me. And then the day before he goes back to work, daddy does bedtime and mom has free time. What I'm trying to do is go into our home gym and work out because that's literally the only time I can find to do it right now. ⁓ But sometimes I just literally sit in the garage. speaker-3: That's just it. No phone, no... speaker-2: I'm just like, peace and quiet. But that's what we've settled on. as the business is growing, sometimes it's just not possible because today would be my time, but I'm making a day trip up to Oklahoma to do a parent training intensive ⁓ and then coming back home. And so I'll get home at like nine o'clock tonight. So it's just not gonna happen, but there's that flexibility, right? But that's the... goal is that every three days or so I have a half an hour to 45 minutes where there's nobody bothering me. The kids are either in bed or being put to bed by my husband. ⁓ I don't even take the dog in the garage with me, like literally just, it's just me in the garage. I can work out, I can just sit and be. We have a TV in the garage, I could technically just turn the TV on and watch, but a lot of times I'm just either listening to music. and sitting or listening to music and trying to do some kind of movement, whether it's lifting weights or stretching or just something. And that's what we've settled on. And that's like the fifth iteration, guys. So if you come up with a plan, right? And you're like, okay, we're gonna do this. And then you find it's just really not working. Like it's okay to abandon the plan and try something different. And then abandon the plan and try something different until you find what is actually truly gonna work. Cause we tried mornings. tried, I mean, like we've tried it all. This is what's working for us and our family right now. And I really appreciate having even just that like 30 minutes of peace and quiet where sometimes I don't even bring my phone in the garage. I take my watch off. Like it's literally like just me. speaker-3: I think ⁓ I am so lucky to have my mom nearby. She has been part of my son's life since he was born. They have such a wonderful relationship. so she's also the person that knows when I need a break or when I need some space. ⁓ So again, I'm just so lucky to have that extra bit of time. But I think I have a little bit of a unique perspective because my son travels between homes. ⁓ You know, I'm getting him to his dad, I'm getting him to my place. So those little blocks of free time shifted as the season of our lives have changed. And I used to have somebody in the house with me to be like, oh, I'll take care of that so you can go meditate or you can do this. There's no longer anyone else in the house physically. So when I wake up in the morning, you know, it's okay, what's this time? What's this got to do? What do we do in there? You know, how are we getting here? So I think that I did this just this past year and in the fall, I was like, I need to schedule these blocks of time where I am going to a physical gym where someone can't engage with me. So I have met that in my schedule since September, you know, and it's at these weird blocks of the morning, right? It's like the trainer's like, ⁓ I can only be available, you know, like, eight, ⁓ five. And I'm like, that's like prime. start of the daytime. I want to be at work at eight, you know, so that I can get out at two to get my kid in the pickup line because I have to sit in the pickup line for 45 minutes if I want to get him. ⁓ So but I haven't budged on that. You know, occasionally I'll have to cancel due to some actual meeting that needs to be held. But having that space where I know that I like I have to be there. It's not I tried working out at home. That didn't work. I'd be like, ⁓ my phone rang in the middle of yoga. OK, let me go take care of that. So I really do think it's about figuring out those supports that you need in place to get you into a consistent routine or a consistent pattern in accessing that downtime. You I think you mentioned sitting in your garage grin. Sometimes I literally just go into a space where it's dark and it's quiet and I'm like, ⁓ okay, I'm re-regulated. Like I can breathe, like there's no noise. ⁓ And those protected blocks that I think, like you said, April, like having them, my tendency is to want to fill them with something. Thank you. So does anybody have any time where they just do nothing? ⁓ That's the hard piece for me is the doing nothing part. speaker-2: will often come into his voiceover booth, which is where I'm at right now, and just sit. ⁓ He might scroll on the computer, but sometimes he just sits because it's soundproofed. So he can't hear anything that's going on in the house, right? And so sometimes that's where he'll come and just do his own de-stress, silent time. ⁓ So yeah, you gotta find wherever your space is, whether it's in the house or out of the house kind of thing. speaker-0: Yeah, our old house had a walk-in closet in our primary bedroom with a door and it was dark. And there were many times where I just found myself in the closet. I actually put a pillow in a cozy blanket and a stuffed animal for myself back in the corner of that closet. was like, you know what? I was working with a life coach at the time and I felt so much shame for that. And she was like, girl, go buy a new blanket. Go buy like a stuffed animal, get a weighted blanket, get like cool water cup or whatever, make that like, bling it out, make that your place, right? And so I did. And so we moved our current house. I didn't have that and I missed it. But now I have my office. However, I would, it's, so I have a cozy chair in the corner of my office. So I've now like, that's the space. It's not dark, but it's still, the good news is I've pretty much trained my family that if the door's closed to my office, like pretend I'm not home unless the house is burning down. But then I was going to my office and like that's my place for work. So then I wasn't really like checking out I wasn't getting the time. So now I've like kind of conditioned myself to like my cozy chair That's my place when I'm sitting in that chair, you know Like that's where I can like relax and I don't have to check email and you know all the things so yeah So if if there's one thing that I would suggest the listeners do this week, you know, maybe maybe explore where quiet spot might be for you, if that's how you recharge. Not everyone recharges with a quiet spot, ⁓ but yeah, a little, make a little cozy corner for yourself. We do that stuff for our kids and our clients and you know, we help our families find that for, you know, for their learners that we're working with. Do it for yourself, find yourself a little cozy corner. ⁓ That might be kind of fun to try out. speaker-3: or speaker-0: Or aerial yoga, 100%. And that's it. can look whatever. There's no wrong answer. And like Corinne said, try and try and try and try again until you find it. Because those of you who are listening to the podcast and not watching, we were all aggressively shaking our heads. Yes, yes, yes. I don't want anyone to listen to this and think that we all have it figured out and it's easy because it's not and we don't. ⁓ You know, and what's working for us right now might not work for us tomorrow and that's okay too. It always amazes me when I take some time for myself, whatever that looks like for that season, and then I come back, re-enter life and think, wow, I feel like a new woman. I wonder why, you know? I'm surprised every time, right? And this week I'm like, I feel so depleted, I'm so tired. And I'm like, ⁓ I've been going probably almost three weeks straight without taking. even a day, like complete, because we just had life, life happens, right? So I'm like, okay, Sunday afternoon, let's see what I can do to make Sunday afternoon a couple of hours be about, be what I need so that I can go into next week and not feel as depleted. But yeah, so none of us have it together. None of us have a secret magic button. I wish we did. If any one of you listening does have some kind of magic button or secret that works like 90 % of the time, gosh, 50 % of the time, I'd take that. Let us know. Call into the podcast hotline leave us your story leave us all your tricks and your magic spells and we will we will definitely Use those and share those ⁓ But guys, thank you all so much for your time and for for showing up and for being vulnerable and sharing your stories today I want to give you each a chance if you have like a takeaway that you want to share with the listeners I want to give you a chance. I say takeaway. It doesn't have to be some big, bold bra. It doesn't have to be fancy. It could be any little thing that you would share with a friend ⁓ that you just might want to leave the listeners with a little advice or ⁓ encouragement ⁓ as we end today. speaker-1: I think just like what you said about we don't all have it together. Like you might look at us and think that, but we don't. And just giving yourself, like I said earlier, like giving yourself that permission to take the time to not have it all together, to make the mistake. I mean, what's the worst that's gonna happen, right? Like being okay with that, that, you know, something, there might be a hiccup here and there, but it's all right. The ball keeps rolling and you've got another chance to try. So just keep at it. speaker-3: I would say, especially if you are in a leadership role or a CEO of an organization, you're modeling for the staff around you, right? You're modeling for your employees, how they approach being a mom and navigating work at the same time. And if they see you, you know... speaker-2: you speaker-3: come in every day and being there for 50, 60 hours a week and canceling kids appointments and not taking yourself to the doctors, they're going to feel like that's the expectation for them. So I think it's our role to model how we want to be for them and how we want them to feel ⁓ when they're employed by us as well. I think bottom line is be kind to yourself. As everyone else is saying, it is OK. It's not going to... kill it for three weeks. You're gonna be amazing. You're gonna go to the gym. You're gonna have lunches packed and write, you know, little love notes in the lunchbox. And then you're not. And that's okay. ⁓ And then four weeks later, you might have a really good week and then not a good week. ⁓ But that is how we're all living. ⁓ Find those support groups. Join April and Steve on Discord. Because it is really, really nice to be able to get together with a group of other moms who are experiencing the same thing that we're all experiencing. And sometimes even just to say like, I did no laundry this week and everyone to be like, speaker-2: to speaker-3: Totally cool. That's really great. speaker-2: ⁓ I think my little tidbit is just kind of in line with the other ladies here, is to give yourself grace, right? We're not perfect moms, we're not gonna be perfect CEOs, there's gonna be mistakes that happen in both mom life and in CEO life. ⁓ There's gonna be days ⁓ where you just are like, why, why, why? Right? ⁓ Have your moment and then, you know. take your me time and then get back on the horse and keep going. ⁓ It's gonna just one foot in front of the other kind of thing some days, but you're still moving forward. speaker-4: want to end with what I've continued to learn the hard way and that is asking for help when you need it. Trusting that who you're asking for help is going to give it their all. Sometimes even better than you originally planned. So I'm really trusting those support systems, trusting those family members, those friends. I'm so, so grateful for my village that has backed me up into these. ⁓ these past couple of years and ⁓ my incredible team that has also backed me up and helped support this new journey that I'm on as a mom. So trust those who are willing to help and accept the help. That's okay. You don't have to do it all yourself. I'm talking to myself always as well. It's okay to not do it all yourself and ask for help. speaker-0: Yes, absolutely. Well, thank you so much for being here today. It means a lot to me too. I love being able to provide a space for this conversation to happen. ⁓ And for those of you who are listening and you're wondering about that support group, the link will be in the show notes. It's completely free. No strings attached. than you just have to use that. We use Discord because that was the platform that we could provide to keep things free. So go there and go to the link and you'll just sit, you'll fill out like a little registration form. And then our amazing coordinator, Melanie, will get you all set up. And if you have any questions, you'll have her to connect with to help you in any way to get that set up. then like I already mentioned, the podcast hotline, if you want to call and share your story, we would love to hear it. The number is also in the show notes. All right, everyone, thank you so much for joining us today and we will see you again next week. Thanks for joining us on ABA Business Leaders. speaker-2: We provide mentorship, courses, handbooks, billing support, credentialing, HIPAA support, web design, and more. Everything you need to build an ethical and sustainable ABA practice. speaker-0: You can find all of our resources at 3pi2.com speaker-2: Don't forget to subscribe and share this podcast with other ABA business owners. speaker-0: We'll see you next time and remember you don't have to build your practice alone.