Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Senseless Survey: The art of absurd questions

Transcript

Senseless Survey: The art of absurd questions · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

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  Speaker 1: Me up next. Here we go, Here we go. Here's
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on KFM Mornings,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: KFM Mornings. All right, friends, lovers, acquaintance situations. Yeah, what
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: are we talking about? It's time together for the senseless survey. Okay,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: how many questions will I ask this morning? Sherlin please twelve?
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  Speaker 1: Twelve questions, Sibbs ten questions, ten questions, Ramis eight questions
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  Speaker 1: eight and producer Brad fourteen. Oh love, it got to
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: hit sometimes. Okay. It's like a guy that takes a
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: guy that I know personally, he takes the lottery numbers.
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  Speaker 1: So every month, well every Friday he sees the numbers
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  Speaker 1: that come in, the ones that win, and then next
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  Speaker 1: week he takes those same numbers. What are the odds
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  Speaker 1: of that happen? Well, he says the odds. He says,
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  Speaker 1: one day it's gonna happen. Wow, one day it will happen,
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  Speaker 1: and he will be the guy. There will be the
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  Speaker 1: story that the same numbers week after week and he's
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  Speaker 1: going to be the guy. Yeah, he's been doing it
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  Speaker 1: for twenty years. Still hasn't happened. But one day is
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  Speaker 1: one day and then who's going to be laughing? All right? Okay,
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  Speaker 1: So no more takers on the WhatsApp telephone. This is
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  Speaker 1: where I call it. A random person ask some very
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  Speaker 1: serious questions that need answer. These are a lot of
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  Speaker 1: questions that that I think they asked them all at
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  Speaker 1: the G twenty this weekend, very pertinent. The G twenty,
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  Speaker 1: The B twenty. Yeah, the B twenty. I saw somebody
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  Speaker 1: doing a viral video thinking that the government had made
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  Speaker 1: a spelling mistake that I go, look government conomist spell
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  Speaker 1: G twenty. They've written B twenty all over the place.
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  Speaker 1: But B twenty is the business twenty. It's an actual thing.
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  Speaker 1: So these were questions that were tabled there, residents. They
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  Speaker 1: were table and they needed answers, and they said, listen,
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  Speaker 1: we don't have the answers. We've got to ask a
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  Speaker 1: Simo in Cape Town for the answers. So here are
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  Speaker 1: the answers to those questions. You're welcome to Hi. I'm
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: calling you from the senseless Bureau. Unfortunately, you didn't complete
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  Speaker 1: the census properly. You forgot to do page two. So
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  Speaker 1: I need to ask you a couple of questions would
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  Speaker 1: only take you about thirty seconds. Alright, What do little
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  Speaker 1: birds see when they are knocked unconscious? What do little
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  Speaker 1: birds see knocked unconscious? Yeah? Hey little birds? Is it
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  Speaker 1: possible to have have a civil war? A civil war? Yeah? Yes.
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  Speaker 1: Do the security guards at airports have to go through
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  Speaker 1: airport security when they get to work? I'm sure they do.
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  Speaker 1: Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Most probably did? Noah, keeper's bees and archives. Do hummingbirds
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: hum because they don't know the words? No? Hum because
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  Speaker 1: they're happy? Which would you rather have six apples or
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  Speaker 1: half a dozen apples? Why do British people never sound
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  Speaker 1: British when they sing? Ah? Let's see? Why do we
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  Speaker 1: only cure a pig once it's dead? So? Do you
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  Speaker 1: think at a funeral they should take the bouquet or
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: wreath off of the casket and throw it into the
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: crowd to see who's next? Put down? Yes, we have.
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  Speaker 1: All the grannies come to the play the golden golf.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: All the grannies come to the front place. Can you
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  Speaker 1: imagine if that was a tradition. Now, as far as
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  Speaker 1: put down questions go, this one is up there. Who's next?
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: It's got it? See you next? Year, Larry's. Some grannies
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  Speaker 1: want to go hey, yeah. Some some of them because
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  Speaker 1: their friends ye are yeah. I know some grannies that
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: wake up in the morning go oh gosh, I'm still
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: here another twenty four hours minimum. Have you seen the
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: grannies and grandpa's a's like the hundredth birthdays? They look
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: sick of it. The kids are The kids are so excited.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: What do you want for your next birthday? Not to
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  Speaker 1: be here? Like how many times when we've spoken to
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  Speaker 1: a hundred year old and I always you know, and
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  Speaker 1: I say it with love in my heart. I say,
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  Speaker 1: you know what, We're going to talk to you at
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  Speaker 1: this time next year. I'm not