Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #543 Holiday Highlight - Lenore Skenazy

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#543 Holiday Highlight - Lenore Skenazy · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
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  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Time poor parent who just once answers me now Gooday.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: This is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder of Happy Families
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  Speaker 2: dot com dot au and the Six Kids. Normally, I'm
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  Speaker 2: here with Kylie, my wife, missus Happy Families as my
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  Speaker 2: parenting podcast co host. But it's school holidays in Queens
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  Speaker 2: and I hope that you're having a great school holiday
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  Speaker 2: break with your kids. Kylie and I will be back
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  Speaker 2: from our holidays with a whole lot of new episodes
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  Speaker 2: of the Happy Families podcast starting again on July the eleventh,
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  Speaker 2: but for now, some highlights from recent Happy Families podcasts
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  Speaker 2: you might have heard of Free range parenting. Lena Scanazzi
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  Speaker 2: had a conversation with me about Free Range Kids on
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  Speaker 2: episode number two hundred and thirty seven of the Happy
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  Speaker 2: Families Podcast. Lenaw is the president of Let Grow. It's
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  Speaker 2: a nonprofit promoting childhood independence and resilience. He's the founder
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  Speaker 2: of Free Range Kids, and she made the news years
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  Speaker 2: ago after letting her nine year old catch the New
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  Speaker 2: York subway home alone. She ended up being dubbed America's
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  Speaker 2: Worst mom. Back in episode two hundred and thirty seven,
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  Speaker 2: I asked to how do we find that middle ground
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  Speaker 2: keeping our kids safe but still allowing them to have
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  Speaker 2: the independence that they need to grow.
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  Speaker 1: There's no way to be a parent without being worried,
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  Speaker 1: or at least I haven't figured that out yet. But
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  Speaker 1: what I think is different from our about our generation.
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  Speaker 1: I'm actually I'm older than news, so about your generation,
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  Speaker 1: and then our parents are grandparents or anybody before that,
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  Speaker 1: is that when my mom let me walk to school,
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  Speaker 1: and it was age five, and she didn't do it
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  Speaker 1: because she was a free range mom or a crazy person.
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  Speaker 1: She was doing it because everybody let their kids walk
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  Speaker 1: to school at age five in the suburb where I
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  Speaker 1: was growing up outside of Chicago. She was a nervous mom.
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  Speaker 1: You know, she was a regular mom. But back then,
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  Speaker 1: you let kids do that, and when you let the
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  Speaker 1: children go, you weren't sitting there going, oh my god,
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  Speaker 1: I hope she makes it. It's gonna be about a
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  Speaker 1: six minute walk, and she's only five, and she's so small,
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  Speaker 1: and the world is such a terrible place and if
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  Speaker 1: anything terable happened to her, I couldn't live with myself.
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  Speaker 1: Forget it. I'm gonna go get her and drive her myself.
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  Speaker 1: And that simply wasn't the catechism back then. You didn't
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  Speaker 1: have to go through what about you know? And then
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  Speaker 1: name you know? What about you know? Elizabeth Smart? What
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  Speaker 1: about you know? Maddie McCann. You weren't thinking that a
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  Speaker 1: normal mom, a normal good mom, should be thinking about
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  Speaker 1: the murder of their child every time the child was
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  Speaker 1: out of their sight, or the death on the bike
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  Speaker 1: on the walk. You know. So that is new, and
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  Speaker 1: it feels normal because we it is normal to worry.
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  Speaker 1: But I feel like these new extravagant worries are super
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  Speaker 1: imposed on us by a culture that I've seen up close,
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  Speaker 1: in part because of the question that was asked to me.
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  Speaker 1: You know, I let my son ride the subway. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: most interviewers at the very beginning, and I'd say the
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  Speaker 1: very beginning. For the first four years, I would say,
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  Speaker 1: we're saying, okay, you know, he had a good time,
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  Speaker 1: you're proud, he's elated, he feels grown up. Great, that's
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  Speaker 1: all great, But what if he hadn't come home? Framing
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  Speaker 1: it in the negative? I never had a good answer.
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  Speaker 1: How would I have felt? Funny? You should ask, I'd
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  Speaker 1: feel great because I don't have to feed another kid.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, there was like no normal answer that you
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  Speaker 1: could give to that question other than this is how
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  Speaker 1: i'd feel. And in a way, this is what they
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  Speaker 1: were trying to make me feel. They were trying to
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  Speaker 1: take a positive story and turn it back into the
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  Speaker 1: story that television loves, which is he never came home.
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  Speaker 1: So the fact that he did come home, Okay, let's
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  Speaker 1: ignore that and think about how terrible a mom she
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  Speaker 1: would have been if that had happened. And why wasn't
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  Speaker 1: she thinking that way? You're always supposed to be thinking
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  Speaker 1: in this extremely dark, dystopian way about your kid if
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  Speaker 1: they're beyond your sight, and that's what's new, and I
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  Speaker 1: feel like it's super imposed by questions like that. When
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  Speaker 1: an interview would say, well, how would you have felt,
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  Speaker 1: it's like, you know how it feel. I would feel
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  Speaker 1: lower than hell. Okay, but why are we talking about it? Why?
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  Speaker 1: You know, why can't we celebrate when a kid does
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  Speaker 1: something normal that I'd say, you know, most nine year
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  Speaker 1: olds could do if they felt like it.
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  Speaker 2: That is Lenor Skanazzi, the president of Let Grow and
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  Speaker 2: the founder of Free Range Kids, on episode two hundred,
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  Speaker 2: and thirty seven of the podcast. You might like to
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  Speaker 2: listen to the entire episode, you can go back and
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  Speaker 2: find it Episode two hundred and thirty seven on the
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  Speaker 2: Happy Families podcast. Your daughter just walked by, eyes glued
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  Speaker 2: to her phone, expression unreadable. You ask her to put
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  Speaker 2: it down, but she balks. You know it's not good
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  Speaker 2: for her, but you're not sure why or how to
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  Speaker 2: support better choices. In the webinar, pixel perfect I joined
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: with psychologists and teen tech expert Jocelyn Brewer to discuss
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  Speaker 2: how to set screen boundaries that work for you and
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  Speaker 2: your daughter. Check out pixel per now on the Happy
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  Speaker 2: Families webshop. Really appreciate you listening to the Happy Families podcast.
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  Speaker 2: If you ever find us talking about something that you
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  Speaker 2: would love to have some input on, you can email
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  Speaker 2: us podcasts at happy families dot com dot you. We
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  Speaker 2: especially love it when you send us voice memos. Open
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  Speaker 2: up your telephone, click on the voice Memos app and
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  Speaker 2: just tell us what's on your mind. Try to keep
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  Speaker 2: it to twenty or thirty seconds. The shorter it can be,
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  Speaker 2: the more likely it is that we can use it
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  Speaker 2: on the podcast. Podcasts at Happy Families dot com dot
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  Speaker 2: you send us your voice memos. We would love to
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  Speaker 2: have your voice as part of the Happy Families podcast,
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  Speaker 2: which is produced by Justin Ruhland from Bridge Media. Craig
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  Speaker 2: Bruce is our executive producer, and if you'd like more
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  Speaker 2: and fo about making your family happier, visit us at
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  Speaker 2: happy families dot com dot a you