Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Ep. 97 | The Third Place: Why Most Men Are Isolated (And How to Fix It)
Transcript
- Shaun: Hello and welcome back to the reset episode 97 with me Sean Tucker. How long are you going to wait until you start taking that committed level of action you need? This morning I woke up at... what was it? 1.30 in the morning. 1.30 in the morning. You might be thinking, why would you wake up at 1.30 in the morning by choice? Well, I had the train hard men's led by Jason Kalipa, which starts at 9 a.m. Pacific time, which means 2 a.m. Australian Eastern Standard Time. Yes, it is a commitment to show up. This is the third call. in 12 weeks that I've shown up live. For good reason. The more I'm able to be in that space with the other captains and the other leaders in the space, the more I'm able to give my team, men on Sunday mornings. Because those guys who show up, there's 50 odd people show up to the call every single week. The guys who show up, they inspire me. Yes, it might be 9am for them, but the thing is there's always epic stories to be told and there's always epic wins to be shared because this global level of impact is happening in 70 different clubs all around the world and I think it's pretty damn cool that a whole bunch of men get together in a car park, in a parking lot and train hard for 45 minutes followed by coffee afterwards. Where in the world do you get that? Have you ever heard or seen that before? I mean everything's kind of fallen apart. We don't have these kind of places to go to anymore and I think so many men especially are disconnected from their third place. And what I mean by that, I watched a video probably a couple of months ago now and it was describing the third place which is essentially you have your place of work. So you have your friends, have your colleagues, your work associates and things like that. That's the first place. The second place is your family home. So this is your, which is really number one. That's your first place. It's who you relate to at your home. So it's probably your spouse, your kids, et cetera, brothers, sisters, siblings, whatever. The third place is, it's usually community-based, but so many people, especially men, don't have a third place that they can go to because it's not attached to their work and it's not attached to their family. That's what a third place is. And oftentimes it's the pub. If they do have a place, oftentimes in Australia, it's probably the pub. There are of course better hobbies to do than that to just drink and sit and eat pub meals and don't get me wrong I enjoy a good pub meal and a beer as well but on a regular it's not my place to hang out. That's why these Train Hard Men's Clubs are I think the gold standard because fitness forges character. doing something hard together, everyone's going at their own pace and pushing themselves. Together, everyone finishes. And the reward is a coffee afterwards. We do that every single week, no matter if it's raining, sunshine, hailing, whatever, snowing even. I don't think we'll meet the snow here in Melbourne, but look, who knows, who knows? And the reason why I think that's really important is having that third place where you can go to, can really tell everyone what's on your mind. You can share stuff you wouldn't share with your family, your work colleagues. I used to be a gamer, right? And I think this is another place where people have their third space. in the gaming realms, those virtual realms. the thing is, you can build deep connection with those people, but nothing can replace in-person. And I used to host LAN parties. And if you don't know what a LAN party is, it's basically before the internet was fast, you had one or two things to do. One is put up with the lag time and play computer games online. The other one was attend a venue that's hosted a LAN party. So a LAN party is where people bring their computers. Laptops weren't even really around at that time. You got huge CRT monitors. Maybe some people could bring LCD screens and people bring their towers, their computer towers. They get together and basically plug it into a network switch. Because local network is so much faster. than obviously the internet that we had at the time. And there used to be competitions, Counter-Strike, Warcraft, Dota, Starcraft, all these different games, so FPS games, strategy games, even people would bring their consoles when consoles became a bit more popular as well. And it was just a really great, fun activity that probably happened once a month. I myself hosted I think three or four when I was 16 or 17 years old. And I loved it because I love putting on events and getting people together and sharing those spaces where often magic happens. People feel connected, people feel safe, people get to share what's really going on. And you get to shoot someone in the face. It's a lot of fun. Anyway, I haven't really hosted a LAN party for a very long time because internet is obviously caught up in speed and yeah, people can game online now and it's convenient, but it removes that need for social interaction because we are human beings. We do need social interaction. Even if it's over Zoom, it's still a great way to connect with people. And that was what I got this morning at two in the morning was connection with 50 other men across the globe who are showing up every single week doing these car park workouts with nothing more than really a couple of sandbags and some weights that they can easily carry from the car to the car park. And that's it. They're just training hard, finish the workout and go for a coffee and have a little chat. So I guess yeah that's my introductory offer to you. If you live in South Melbourne or South East Melbourne in the suburbs of Melbourne somewhere and you're looking for somewhere like that, your third place or third space, I would love to have you come along. Sunday morning 6am we start in Mulgrave at the Wellington Park or Wellington Reserve playground car park. and you're all welcome to come and join us. Doesn't cost you anything except showing up, which if you ask any of the other guys who come along, that's absolutely the hardest thing to do. Get past that and you can crush the day and crush the week. So yeah, if you found this episode helpful, love you to share it with just one person. Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to seeing you in tomorrow's episode.