Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Get Everything You Want: How the Military Trained Skye P. Marshall for Success

Transcript

Get Everything You Want: How the Military Trained Skye P. Marshall for Success · QUESTION EVERYTHING

0:03
Speaker 1: No one has all the answers, but when we ask
0:05
Speaker 1: the right questions, we get a little closer, closer to truths,
0:11
Speaker 1: closer to each other, even closer to ourselves. I'm journalist
0:16
Speaker 1: Danielle Robe and each week, my guests and I'd come
0:19
Speaker 1: together to challenge the status quo and our own ways
0:22
Speaker 1: of thinking by daring to ask what if, why not?
0:28
Speaker 1: And who says?
0:30
Speaker 2: So?
0:30
Speaker 1: Come curious, dig deep, and join the conversation. It's time
0:36
Speaker 1: to question everything. Hello, I hope you're having an amazing week.
0:44
Speaker 1: I just got back from New York and it was
0:47
Speaker 1: such beautiful weather and I was sitting outside at dinner
0:49
Speaker 1: one night, and I love how in New York the
0:52
Speaker 1: same thing happens in Chicago, but not often in LA.
0:55
Speaker 1: In New York, strangers talk to each other. And so
0:57
Speaker 1: I was sitting outside at dinner and there was a
1:00
Speaker 1: couple sitting next to me, and the guy said, what
1:04
Speaker 1: brings you here? And I was saying, you know, a
1:05
Speaker 1: little bit of work, some meetings, a little bit of fun,
1:09
Speaker 1: and he was like, oh, I just come to New
1:11
Speaker 1: York to walk and his wife or his girlfriend laughed,
1:15
Speaker 1: and I thought that is so brilliant. Everybody just comes
1:18
Speaker 1: to New York to walk. I walk so many miles.
1:21
Speaker 1: I have to go look, I need one of those
1:22
Speaker 1: R rings or something or a whoop. But I guess
1:25
Speaker 1: I could check my phone. I want to see how
1:27
Speaker 1: many miles I walked to New York. It is so
1:29
Speaker 1: fun and so wherever you are today, I hope you
1:33
Speaker 1: have time at some point this week to just go
1:36
Speaker 1: for a walk. It felt so good. Anyways, today's episode
1:41
Speaker 1: is deeply inspiring. And I don't say that as sort
1:46
Speaker 1: of a turn of phrase. I was listening to our
1:49
Speaker 1: guest in complete awe. What do you do when you
1:55
Speaker 1: want something that feels out of reach? A lot of
1:58
Speaker 1: us freeze big, and then we get stuck at the
2:01
Speaker 1: starting line. We just don't know where to begin, or
2:04
Speaker 1: we're waiting for permission, or we question whether it's possible
2:08
Speaker 1: or if it could really be ours, even realistically right.
2:11
Speaker 1: But what if we didn't wait? What if we mapped
2:13
Speaker 1: the vision, built the plan, studied the players, and worked
2:17
Speaker 1: the room until it was ours. That's exactly what sky
2:20
Speaker 1: P Marshall did.
2:22
Speaker 2: I had a resume, I wasn't in the Union, I
2:24
Speaker 2: didn't have an agent. What I did have is manifestation.
2:30
Speaker 2: And in Manifestation, there's the starter kit was the secret.
2:35
Speaker 1: Sky is an actress you might know from CBS's Matt
2:38
Speaker 1: Locke and good Sam or the new indie psychological thriller
2:42
Speaker 1: daa State, but her story didn't start in Hollywood. She's
2:46
Speaker 1: a US Air Force veteran, a former marketing exec, a
2:49
Speaker 1: woman who once worked in operating rooms, and now she
2:53
Speaker 1: plays surgeons on screen. And what's most inspiring is she believes,
2:58
Speaker 1: truly believes that nothing is out of reach. And in
3:02
Speaker 1: this episode she walks us through exactly how she made
3:04
Speaker 1: the impossible happen, from background gigs and catering gigs to
3:09
Speaker 1: lead roles. Here's what I love about her story. She
3:12
Speaker 1: has tangible examples. She didn't just manifest, she executed with
3:17
Speaker 1: the precision and discipline she learned in the military.
3:21
Speaker 2: Don't take it till you make it, just survived until
3:23
Speaker 2: you drive.
3:24
Speaker 1: The question we're circling today is what does it mean
3:27
Speaker 1: to thrive on your own terms? And what does it
3:29
Speaker 1: take to get there? The thread running through this whole
3:32
Speaker 1: interview is the pursuit of a life that is both
3:35
Speaker 1: self authored and deeply purposeful and directed, not dictated by
3:40
Speaker 1: timelines or status or external validation. And I want you
3:44
Speaker 1: to listen for one of my favorite parts of the episode.
3:46
Speaker 1: It's when Sky talks about fear. She said it's biological
3:50
Speaker 1: and while she was in the military, she learned how
3:52
Speaker 1: to channel it and use it. Oh.
3:55
Speaker 2: I ate that part up.
3:56
Speaker 1: I think you will too. So if you're sitting on
3:58
Speaker 1: a dream but you don't know where to start, whether
4:01
Speaker 1: it's small, medium, or large, use this episode as a
4:04
Speaker 1: roadmap and inspiration. Because Sky didn't just chase the dream,
4:09
Speaker 1: she engineered it. It's time to question everything with Sky.
4:13
Speaker 2: P Marshall.
4:19
Speaker 1: Sky, you are a Chicago girl. Are you living in
4:23
Speaker 1: LA now?
4:24
Speaker 2: I'm currently in Brooklyn, New York.
4:26
Speaker 1: Okay, So what's the most Chicago thing about you? And
4:29
Speaker 1: the most New York thing about you?
4:31
Speaker 2: I think the most Chicago thing about me is I
4:33
Speaker 2: still say pop and do you want to go to
4:35
Speaker 2: the show instead of the movies? And I still go
4:39
Speaker 2: really hard for like good house music, and I still
4:44
Speaker 2: love couple dancing and no one does couple dances anymore.
4:48
Speaker 2: But in Chicago, I grew up where people were like
4:50
Speaker 2: stepping and like that was a part of our culture there.
4:55
Speaker 2: And then I got to La and New York and
4:57
Speaker 2: all these other cities, and I'm like, wait, so nobody
5:00
Speaker 2: as a girl and does a two step.
5:02
Speaker 1: You gotta teach him.
5:03
Speaker 2: I know I do. And I love teaching people how
5:05
Speaker 2: to step because as soon as they see me step,
5:07
Speaker 2: suddenly it's like the Avengers. Every Chicago person in the
5:10
Speaker 2: room suddenly emerges and meets me on the dance floor.
5:14
Speaker 2: And so that's always pretty nice.
5:16
Speaker 1: That's amazing. So we were talking about how you are
5:19
Speaker 1: on your eighth or ninth life. I'm curious when you
5:23
Speaker 1: were a little girl in Chicago, if you thought about
5:28
Speaker 1: doing all of these different things, or if you thought
5:32
Speaker 1: about the air Force only, Like, what did you think
5:34
Speaker 1: about late at night when you were in your room
5:37
Speaker 1: staring up at the ceiling.
5:38
Speaker 2: Luke Perry honestly same. You know. I was a nineties kid,
5:42
Speaker 2: so I was obsessed with not a tono. But anyway,
5:45
Speaker 2: I've sidetracked it. But I did have a very vivid imagination.
5:48
Speaker 2: And I've always loved being a performing artist. That was
5:53
Speaker 2: always a part of my life, but it was never
5:55
Speaker 2: considered to be a profession. That was a hobby. It
5:58
Speaker 2: was therapeutic for me. Mom had me into tutu at
6:01
Speaker 2: the age of five, and I was a part of
6:03
Speaker 2: a lot of hip hop dance troops in Chicago where
6:05
Speaker 2: we would battle other dance troops and footwork all across
6:09
Speaker 2: the city. And so that was something that not just
6:13
Speaker 2: allowed me to connect with the community, but it also
6:17
Speaker 2: taught me discipline, taught me formation, taught me how to
6:21
Speaker 2: be an athlete. I was being an athlete without even
6:25
Speaker 2: knowing it, and so when I became an adult, I
6:28
Speaker 2: just always remained pretty fit because I grew up athletic
6:31
Speaker 2: through dance performance in Chicago, which was huge in the nineties,
6:36
Speaker 2: and so I had to then figure out, Okay, what
6:40
Speaker 2: am I going to do with my life as a
6:41
Speaker 2: career because they put all that unnecessary pressure on teenagers
6:45
Speaker 2: in high school to just know what you're supposed to
6:47
Speaker 2: do for the rest of your life and then immediately
6:49
Speaker 2: throw you in debt once you go to college and
6:52
Speaker 2: force you to just pick a major. I felt this
6:54
Speaker 2: uncertainty about what I wanted to do and who I
6:58
Speaker 2: wanted to be as an adult when I was sixteen
7:00
Speaker 2: seventeen years old, because I graduated high school at seventeen,
7:03
Speaker 2: and so one thing I definitely knew I didn't want
7:07
Speaker 2: to be as a twenty something year old with thousands
7:11
Speaker 2: of dollars of debt from college because I remember hearing
7:14
Speaker 2: my parents like, really go through the complexity of having
7:18
Speaker 2: to balance life, family and loan, and I remember thinking
7:22
Speaker 2: that Sally May was some chick down the street that
7:26
Speaker 2: was mean, aggressive and kept trying to come for your money.
7:29
Speaker 2: I thought she was an actual human being that my
7:31
Speaker 2: family knew and just did not mess with. And I
7:33
Speaker 2: was like, let me tell you about any May. I
7:35
Speaker 2: want nothing to do with that chick. And so early
7:39
Speaker 2: on I decided that debt was something I didn't want
7:42
Speaker 2: hanging over me. And that is what motivated me to
7:46
Speaker 2: go to the military, is because I knew that I
7:49
Speaker 2: had a goal to have a college degree, because again
7:52
Speaker 2: I didn't think that acting or performing arts was a profession.
7:56
Speaker 2: But in order to get that college degree, I had
7:58
Speaker 2: to get Uncle Sam to be my sugar day and
8:00
Speaker 2: pay for it. And that's exactly what I do.
8:03
Speaker 1: That's a really smart outlook, especially for a young person
8:06
Speaker 1: to have. People don't think like that most often these days.
8:10
Speaker 1: You know you mentioned the word discipline. I think that's
8:12
Speaker 1: the word that comes up for most people when they
8:14
Speaker 1: think about the Air Force, And then I think about
8:17
Speaker 1: acting and it is a discipline in itself, but it's
8:21
Speaker 1: actually so much more free flowing, and a lot of
8:24
Speaker 1: times creativity can come to you at unexpected moments. I
8:28
Speaker 1: think a lot of people could say that your life
8:30
Speaker 1: in the Air Force or the military and your life
8:32
Speaker 1: as an actor could be worlds apart. But I have
8:36
Speaker 1: this feeling that you bring a lot of discipline to
8:39
Speaker 1: your acting career. Has it shown up in expected or
8:43
Speaker 1: unexpected ways?
8:44
Speaker 2: Oh? Yes, you know, as actors, there's a lot of
8:47
Speaker 2: people that have made it to where I've managed to
8:50
Speaker 2: arrive as like a lead on a TV series or
8:54
Speaker 2: a studio film, and they're always asked like, so, where
8:57
Speaker 2: did you train? And I believe my formal training was
9:01
Speaker 2: in the US Air Force, because a large part of
9:05
Speaker 2: being a successful actor is allowing to process your fear
9:11
Speaker 2: going into the auditions. The auditions are the hardest part,
9:14
Speaker 2: and that's where we really can self sabotage, and we
9:17
Speaker 2: can really cripple our choices because we want to get
9:21
Speaker 2: it right and we want to nail it, and we
9:23
Speaker 2: want to guess what they want. And during that mental processing,
9:27
Speaker 2: we're sitting in the waiting room amongst other actors, and
9:31
Speaker 2: then we feel this fear kick in, and we were
9:35
Speaker 2: never really properly trained. I feel as young adults on
9:39
Speaker 2: how to move through the fear. When people say I'm fearless,
9:43
Speaker 2: I feel terrible for them, because fear is given to
9:47
Speaker 2: us to get us to our highest potential as a
9:52
Speaker 2: human being. It's why we are capable to either fight
9:56
Speaker 2: a saber tooth tiger or run as humanly fast as possible.
10:00
Speaker 2: That's what fear was given to us as a gift,
10:04
Speaker 2: is to transform into this like avenger version of us.
10:09
Speaker 2: Our brain was not upgraded from the first human being,
10:13
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? That process is the same.
10:16
Speaker 2: And so what the military taught mean was how to
10:22
Speaker 2: use fhear, how to know that when you feel that shake,
10:26
Speaker 2: when you feel that trember, when your stomach your bowels drop.
10:30
Speaker 2: That's why a lot of people have to go to
10:31
Speaker 2: the bathroom before a big speech or a big talk,
10:34
Speaker 2: or like they meet someone and they're like they feel butterflies,
10:37
Speaker 2: like they don't even know what to associate that feeling,
10:39
Speaker 2: and the gut is but what's happening is a chemical
10:43
Speaker 2: reaction takes place when our brain identifies something to be
10:47
Speaker 2: danger or a threat. In that chemical reaction in our body,
10:52
Speaker 2: our bowels do literally shut down. Why because the gut
10:57
Speaker 2: uses most of our energy, right we don't have to say,
11:00
Speaker 2: think about breaking down foods or moving like one to
11:04
Speaker 2: the waste, the other to the nutrients here and there,
11:06
Speaker 2: and so it shuts that down. That energy goes to
11:09
Speaker 2: every major muscle in our body, so that again we
11:12
Speaker 2: can fight a tiger or run as humanly fast as
11:15
Speaker 2: possible as why you can see moms lift cars off
11:17
Speaker 2: of their children. And so I personally believe the one
11:23
Speaker 2: percent allows us to think that this means I'm not ready,
11:29
Speaker 2: I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna mess up, I'm nervous, But
11:33
Speaker 2: really you're just being activated. And in the military they
11:37
Speaker 2: teach you that like, oh here we go, like imagining
11:41
Speaker 2: yourself transforming into your highest potential. And that's why when
11:47
Speaker 2: we sense danger or threat, we're not taught with our
11:50
Speaker 2: m sixteens to run the opposite direction. We are programmed
11:53
Speaker 2: and the most sophisticated way to go exactly towards what
11:56
Speaker 2: we're scared of. And when I decided at twenty eight
12:00
Speaker 2: to pursue acting, that was the thing I saw most
12:03
Speaker 2: common amongst artists, this fear that was just like paralyzing them.
12:09
Speaker 2: I'm like, we're not doing open heart surgery here, like
12:11
Speaker 2: no one's going to war, but the fear is the same.
12:15
Speaker 2: And so I would try and help my friends with
12:18
Speaker 2: the training that I received from the military. But that's
12:20
Speaker 2: the hardest part is that fear during auditions, fear during
12:24
Speaker 2: wanting to be chosen.
12:26
Speaker 1: So what do you say to yourself in those moments?
12:29
Speaker 2: Honestly, when I feel it, when I feel my palm sweating,
12:33
Speaker 2: when I feel that like I'm gonna throw out, you
12:35
Speaker 2: feel it physically first, and then if you really pay
12:37
Speaker 2: attention to your senses, I can literally hear the girl
12:40
Speaker 2: in the audition room's choices. Your senses literally, if you
12:44
Speaker 2: pay attention, they actually do get heightened. If you really
12:48
Speaker 2: pay attention to your senses while you're in that state
12:51
Speaker 2: of fear, you'll realize you actually are at your highest potential.
12:56
Speaker 2: And so that's when I sit there and I'm just like, oh,
13:00
Speaker 2: oh shit, Like I actually get excited, right because if
13:04
Speaker 2: it was easy, everybody be doing it. It's on the
13:07
Speaker 2: other side of that fear. Then what I do is
13:10
Speaker 2: with that fear because you can't hide it because I
13:13
Speaker 2: can't run and I can't kill, so my body is
13:16
Speaker 2: still physically like. I bring those stakes to the character
13:21
Speaker 2: because if they chose that audition scene specifically, that means
13:25
Speaker 2: that they want to see the stakes involved in this character.
13:29
Speaker 2: Whatever they're fighting for. We're always fighting for something, and
13:31
Speaker 2: so I use it. But when you're like I'm fearless,
13:35
Speaker 2: I am centered, then good luck.
13:37
Speaker 1: I'm sure other people have said this, but Will Smith
13:40
Speaker 1: is the person that comes to my mind.
13:42
Speaker 2: The only thing he fears is s fear himself.
13:44
Speaker 1: And the best things in life are on the other
13:46
Speaker 1: side of fear. And I know that to be true
13:50
Speaker 1: in my life, but I actually haven't quite understood why
13:52
Speaker 1: until you just said that. It's because you are at
13:55
Speaker 1: your highest potential.
13:57
Speaker 2: You really are, and that's why. Will Smith has also said,
14:00
Speaker 2: if we're both on a treadmill, either I'm gonna win
14:03
Speaker 2: or I'm going to die, but I'm not getting off.
14:06
Speaker 2: And on YouTube, I remember when I first started acting.
14:08
Speaker 2: I would go to YouTube and I'm ad type in
14:11
Speaker 2: Will's wisdom and I would watch that five minute clip
14:15
Speaker 2: of multiple interviews of Will Smith, and it really helped
14:20
Speaker 2: me just stay grounded in the unrealistic expectations that I had,
14:26
Speaker 2: because what's the point of being realistic.
14:28
Speaker 1: There's one Kid's Choice Awards speech he has and he
14:31
Speaker 1: says every answer is in a book, like there's nothing
14:35
Speaker 1: that you've gone through that somebody else hasn't gone through.
14:38
Speaker 1: And then he talks about the treadmill. He's like that feeling.
14:42
Speaker 2: It's the energy, right, it's just exerting that energy. But
14:46
Speaker 2: he's not gonna get off. Either you're gonna get off
14:48
Speaker 2: or I'm gonna die, right because you are at your
14:51
Speaker 2: highest potential. And you know, he's so great at also
14:57
Speaker 2: helping me understand that you don't set out to be
15:00
Speaker 2: build this big wall, right like I'm gonna build biggest,
15:02
Speaker 2: baddest wall. You lay one brick as perfectly as you
15:06
Speaker 2: can possibly lay a brick every day, and eventually you
15:09
Speaker 2: have a wall. And so that's why they say it
15:11
Speaker 2: takes ten years to be an overnight success. And that's
15:14
Speaker 2: pretty much what my story is.
15:16
Speaker 1: I was just going to ask you that, So can
15:18
Speaker 1: you take me from twenty eight when you decided to
15:22
Speaker 1: be an actor to the moment where you got your
15:25
Speaker 1: first yes? What happened in between?
15:28
Speaker 2: Yeah. When I decided to pursue, I was working in
15:31
Speaker 2: the corporate industry at a pharmaceutical marketing firm, where I
15:35
Speaker 2: realized a cubicle was hell on earth.
15:39
Speaker 1: I've known you for about eight minutes, and that is
15:41
Speaker 1: so not you, that is not me right, it.
15:43
Speaker 2: Was so sterile you can only imagine. And I convinced
15:47
Speaker 2: my boss to lay me off so that I can
15:50
Speaker 2: get unemployment for two years. And so once I finally
15:54
Speaker 2: convinced him, I had two years to build a foundation
15:59
Speaker 2: in an n the street that I knew no one.
16:02
Speaker 2: I had no resume, I wasn't in the union, I
16:04
Speaker 2: didn't have an agent. What I did have is this
16:09
Speaker 2: new found deep interest in the buzzword at the time manifestation,
16:17
Speaker 2: and in the manifestation, there's a starter kit was the secret.
16:21
Speaker 2: That's when it first came out. Remember it was all
16:24
Speaker 2: the rape. They were all on Oprah, they were everywhere.
16:27
Speaker 2: I took it very serious. So that's what I came
16:29
Speaker 2: out with, this belief system that there was a new
16:32
Speaker 2: way to generate what I wanted, and two years of unemployment,
16:37
Speaker 2: and so the first thing I needed to do is learn.
16:43
Speaker 2: I became a background actor and I ended up being
16:47
Speaker 2: a background actor for almost seven years into my mid thirties.
16:51
Speaker 2: Then I was also a cater waiter because I knew
16:55
Speaker 2: that I couldn't get into these big, fancy studio parties,
16:59
Speaker 2: but if I tray passed, I could. I didn't care
17:02
Speaker 2: that I had a college degree, came from the military,
17:05
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. Another thing that helped was pushing my
17:09
Speaker 2: ego to the side. I think that's challenging too for
17:12
Speaker 2: a lot of like I'm not going to cater or
17:15
Speaker 2: like I'm not doing background. Yeah, okay, then you're missing
17:19
Speaker 2: out an opportunity because it's not going to just be
17:21
Speaker 2: handed to you. You got to put yourself in the
17:24
Speaker 2: trenches and you got to get some dirt under your
17:25
Speaker 2: nails sometimes. And thank god I did that background work.
17:29
Speaker 2: I did background work at Paramount Studios where I'm currently
17:31
Speaker 2: filming that lock. I did background all over the place.
17:35
Speaker 2: I made so many great connections and relationships with people
17:38
Speaker 2: because I was taught at a very early age and
17:40
Speaker 2: it's not about what you're doing specifically, it's about who
17:45
Speaker 2: you're being while you're doing it. And so I could
17:48
Speaker 2: have gone in there and I could have just been like, oh,
17:49
Speaker 2: I'm just a background actor. Oh, I'm just an extra.
17:53
Speaker 2: But instead I went in there and I was like,
17:54
Speaker 2: oh no, this is a paid internship and I'm here
17:57
Speaker 2: to learn. And I showed up that way and they
18:00
Speaker 2: knew it. I was like, excuse me, what is banana
18:02
Speaker 2: around the camera?
18:03
Speaker 1: Mean?
18:03
Speaker 2: I was asking so many questions because all I knew
18:06
Speaker 2: was stage. I didn't know anything about television. I didn't
18:09
Speaker 2: know what Martini shot was.
18:11
Speaker 1: You were going to grad school?
18:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm getting paid to learn. So why would
18:16
Speaker 2: I not be excited to be there? Right? Why would
18:18
Speaker 2: I not grab the call sheet that the creative team
18:22
Speaker 2: is getting in research who the writer of the next
18:25
Speaker 2: episode is going to be? So that could properly introduce myself, right,
18:28
Speaker 2: Like I was showed up like a paid intern rather
18:31
Speaker 2: than just sitting and holding on my phone because I
18:33
Speaker 2: was just doing background where that wasn't who I was.
18:36
Speaker 1: So how do you come to the table in that
18:39
Speaker 1: way so vibrantly and not come off too eager?
18:44
Speaker 2: I did a lot of research, So, for instance, I
18:46
Speaker 2: had these index cards where like on the front of
18:49
Speaker 2: the index card, I would have faces of people who
18:53
Speaker 2: I wanted to work with. I didn't know what they
18:55
Speaker 2: looked like. Like, I didn't know what Ron Howard looked like.
18:58
Speaker 2: These casting directors. I was a corporate New York woman, like,
19:01
Speaker 2: I didn't know who these casting directors were. I didn't
19:04
Speaker 2: know who their assistance. I didn't know. And lord forbid,
19:07
Speaker 2: I'm carrying an event or I'm doing background work and
19:10
Speaker 2: they show up and I have no idea. So I
19:12
Speaker 2: would sit there and quiz myself. And what I would
19:15
Speaker 2: do is on the back, it would have like where
19:18
Speaker 2: they're from, credits that they were known for. And to
19:22
Speaker 2: give you an example, Anthony Hemingway, who I absolutely adore,
19:26
Speaker 2: who's an incredible executive producer and director. I was the
19:30
Speaker 2: extra on CSI New York and he came in to
19:32
Speaker 2: direct and I knew he was coming because I already
19:34
Speaker 2: checked and so over by the crafty table where the
19:37
Speaker 2: snacks were, I'm kind of next to him and they
19:40
Speaker 2: had some pizza there and I was like, I don't
19:42
Speaker 2: know about this pizza. It ain't Joe's. He was like,
19:45
Speaker 2: what you know about Joe's. I was like, what do
19:46
Speaker 2: you know about Joe's? I already knew he was from
19:48
Speaker 2: New York, right, So it's about being clever but not
19:52
Speaker 2: being an opportunistic and there is a difference, and I
19:56
Speaker 2: don't ask for things. If I do ask, it's like,
20:00
Speaker 2: so I've done this and this and I've hit a wall.
20:03
Speaker 2: What would you recommend I do next? If I do
20:05
Speaker 2: reach out to someone of my contacts, half the time
20:08
Speaker 2: they're like, you know what, don't worry about it. I
20:09
Speaker 2: know someone and then they offer or they're like, Okay,
20:13
Speaker 2: I see you've done your work. Here's another step. And
20:17
Speaker 2: just to share, these are all things that I learned
20:21
Speaker 2: while working marketing in New York City on how to
20:24
Speaker 2: connect with your client, how to connect with people who
20:27
Speaker 2: you want to work with without being opportunistic because they
20:29
Speaker 2: can smell that a mile away. Until today, I do
20:32
Speaker 2: not have an agent. Even Matt Locke came through somebody
20:35
Speaker 2: I knew, and the credit I had before that came
20:38
Speaker 2: through somebody I knew, and the credit before that came
20:40
Speaker 2: through somebody I knew. And it's been a lot of
20:43
Speaker 2: majority amazing women passing the baton to another woman. But
20:47
Speaker 2: it's because of not what I was doing when I
20:49
Speaker 2: was working with them, but who I was being. And
20:52
Speaker 2: so my very first credit was like an indie film
20:55
Speaker 2: horror movie in Joshua Tree and I went in and
20:59
Speaker 2: on auditioned and that was my first time on to
21:02
Speaker 2: set a movie set, and that was in twenty ten,
21:07
Speaker 2: and from there on, they kind of connect with each other.
21:11
Speaker 1: A lot of actors I've interviewed give themselves a timeline
21:14
Speaker 1: and they say, Okay, if I don't make it in
21:17
Speaker 1: ten years, I'm gonna try something else. It doesn't seem
21:22
Speaker 1: like you gave yourself that. And you're telling me you're
21:24
Speaker 1: in your mid thirties cater waitering. That's tough. I know
21:28
Speaker 1: that you are tough, but that is a really tough
21:31
Speaker 1: thing day to day when you're living it. What makes
21:33
Speaker 1: you say I'm gonna still do this?
21:36
Speaker 2: I think it is tough. If you give yourself a timeline,
21:40
Speaker 2: where are you going? You're an actor? Where are you going?
21:43
Speaker 2: Are you gonna go to college? No? How many actors
21:45
Speaker 2: are like, I'm giving you three more? Yearears? Six years
21:47
Speaker 2: later they asked, still there, where are you going? You're
21:49
Speaker 2: not going anywhere? Right, So now you're just putting all
21:51
Speaker 2: this unnecessary pressure on yourself. So every side job feels
21:54
Speaker 2: like absolute hell because you're not even seeing the intention
21:57
Speaker 2: as to why you chose that job in the first place, right,
21:59
Speaker 2: Like if I chose hatering, it's because I need to
22:01
Speaker 2: get behind the pearly gates of Warner brother Studios in Paramount,
22:04
Speaker 2: and you know ari Emanuel's house and seand Rihime's backyard.
22:09
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, Like, it's intentional. Why I
22:11
Speaker 2: would choose that. It's intentional why I would choose background work,
22:14
Speaker 2: Right Because I get to be in proximity of video
22:18
Speaker 2: village where a bunch of writers and producers and directors are.
22:21
Speaker 2: And I'm not stupid. I know that I can have
22:24
Speaker 2: chemistry with a fire hydrant. So you know, the side
22:27
Speaker 2: jobs never became a hassle or a bore or unnecessary.
22:32
Speaker 2: It was all a part of the process. Because I
22:34
Speaker 2: would tell people all the time, I plan on doing
22:37
Speaker 2: this until I'm sicily Tyson's age, So what's the rush.
22:39
Speaker 2: I plan on doing this until I'm Betty White's age,
22:41
Speaker 2: So what's the rush. I used to say that to
22:42
Speaker 2: people all the time. I'm done. I did what I
22:46
Speaker 2: thought I was supposed to do. I was in the military,
22:49
Speaker 2: I did corporate New York, and I worked in the
22:51
Speaker 2: hospital for six years. Three of those years I was
22:53
Speaker 2: an O Rtech and then I turned around and played
22:55
Speaker 2: an actual surgical resident on a CBS medical drama with
23:00
Speaker 2: that information was able to come in hand, right, But
23:03
Speaker 2: I'm like, where am I going? I'm not going anywhere.
23:05
Speaker 2: So as long as I can survive, have great friends
23:08
Speaker 2: around me, take good care of myself, pay my bills,
23:13
Speaker 2: and consistently grow that tree of community within the industry.
23:18
Speaker 2: What's the rush to get to what? And that's where
23:21
Speaker 2: I think people are really seeking for the celebrity and
23:24
Speaker 2: not so much the full bodied experience of being a
23:29
Speaker 2: working actor and getting some real dirt under your nails.
23:33
Speaker 1: Where did all this come from? Sky my mom?
23:36
Speaker 2: I am a copy and paste of my mother, except
23:39
Speaker 2: she just didn't have the opportunities that I have. You know,
23:44
Speaker 2: she was born in nineteen forty four, so she saw
23:47
Speaker 2: a colored fountain before there was no social media. I mean, hell,
23:52
Speaker 2: when I started pursuing the industry, it wasn't really until
23:57
Speaker 2: the Oscar so White hashtag happened that suddenly people were like, Oh,
24:02
Speaker 2: what happened to all that diversity that was on television
24:06
Speaker 2: in the nineties? Where did that go? Like in the
24:08
Speaker 2: eighties and nineties, the Fresh Prince of bel Air Martin,
24:11
Speaker 2: you know two to seven and family matters like where
24:15
Speaker 2: did that go? It just all disappeared. And so I
24:18
Speaker 2: think until Instagram was a platform where people can come
24:22
Speaker 2: together and fighte for something that I believe gave me
24:27
Speaker 2: an opportunity because I was like, oh, I came here
24:32
Speaker 2: right in time, and then it just kept growing and growing.
24:35
Speaker 2: And now that door I don't believe will ever close
24:38
Speaker 2: again for all people of color in the entertainment industry,
24:41
Speaker 2: because they see the numbers and they see what we
24:44
Speaker 2: are capable of delivering when we all have a seat
24:47
Speaker 2: at the table. But my mother had the dream but
24:50
Speaker 2: didn't have the execution. I grew up and she would
24:53
Speaker 2: put red towels on the floor and never missed an Emmy's,
24:57
Speaker 2: never missed an Oscar's, never missed a golden glow. And
25:00
Speaker 2: that was our red carpet. Was these red howels that
25:03
Speaker 2: she would put out and we would get dressed up.
25:05
Speaker 2: It was always the star of the community. Even though
25:08
Speaker 2: she didn't have any money. She would never go out.
25:11
Speaker 2: She would to go to the mailbox without her lipstick on.
25:13
Speaker 2: She is just a glamor girl. Is she alive?
25:16
Speaker 1: Is she able to see all that you've done.
25:18
Speaker 2: She has dementia and I'm her caregiver. So Matt Locke,
25:22
Speaker 2: this new show that I'm working on gave me the
25:24
Speaker 2: ability to buy her a house so she doesn't have
25:27
Speaker 2: to go to a memory care home. And so that
25:29
Speaker 2: came just in time to where I was able to
25:31
Speaker 2: buy in a house and pay for caregivers. And so
25:35
Speaker 2: now she has her forever home. And my duty as
25:37
Speaker 2: a daughter is complete because my mission was always to
25:41
Speaker 2: get my mother a house, and so this industry being
25:45
Speaker 2: redirected to it at twenty eight allowed me to do
25:49
Speaker 2: that literally just in the nick of time. And so
25:52
Speaker 2: she knows that things that are going great for me,
25:57
Speaker 2: but she's not really connecting with the actual accolades that
26:02
Speaker 2: I have. But the most important thing was when I
26:06
Speaker 2: had that one line on that one show, she'd get
26:10
Speaker 2: the whole building together to come and screen it. She
26:13
Speaker 2: was always my biggest cheerleader, so whether I had no
26:18
Speaker 2: lines as an extra, but she spotted me or me
26:21
Speaker 2: with Kathy Bays and CBS, she was always over the
26:27
Speaker 2: moon excited for me and knew that I was going
26:30
Speaker 2: to make it. But it does sting a lot that
26:34
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, man, I arrived and she's not connecting.
26:39
Speaker 1: You want her to enjoy it with you.
26:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really do deeply, and I have to manage
26:46
Speaker 2: my expectations every time something happens. But yeah, it's heartbreaking.
26:52
Speaker 2: Grief is very heartbreaking, and dementia is the longest goodbye.
26:56
Speaker 1: It's also takes a lot out of you to be
26:58
Speaker 1: a caretaker, even if it's an opportunity too.
27:02
Speaker 2: It definitely is a beautiful opportunity, but yes, it is
27:05
Speaker 2: very consuming. And yeah, you have to watch somebody who
27:10
Speaker 2: you love and who raised you have to now be
27:14
Speaker 2: raised by you. And it's daring. But I'm at that
27:18
Speaker 2: stage now where a lot of things that she says
27:21
Speaker 2: and does is just absolutely hysterical to me and I
27:23
Speaker 2: just laugh and I have dollar up and she has
27:26
Speaker 2: an eightieth birthday this month, and so that's a huge
27:29
Speaker 2: milestone that I'm really excited about.
27:31
Speaker 1: Congratulations to you for being able to buy her a house.
27:35
Speaker 1: That's pretty remarkable.
27:37
Speaker 2: Thank you. Now I finally I can get myself one.
27:39
Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm really.
27:40
Speaker 1: Thrilled you will that's coming.
27:42
Speaker 2: No, I definitely what we got to season two.
27:44
Speaker 1: I have the think an agent is coming too, But hey,
27:47
Speaker 1: you know what.
27:48
Speaker 2: I'm not even worried because the train hasn't stopped.
27:50
Speaker 1: I'm wondering years down the line, what do you hope
27:54
Speaker 1: people remember about the stories you chose to tell and
27:57
Speaker 1: who you are as a storyteller and a performer.
28:00
Speaker 2: Wow, that's a great question. As a performer, the roles
28:04
Speaker 2: that I choose, I definitely want to move the culture forward.
28:09
Speaker 2: I definitely want to move the needle, and so a
28:11
Speaker 2: lot of the larger projects that I do, you know,
28:14
Speaker 2: like Mattlock, or like good SAYD playing a surgeon, you know,
28:18
Speaker 2: or a film that I recently also did where I
28:20
Speaker 2: played a teacher, or even in daf State being a
28:23
Speaker 2: business successful homeowner wife that's still a huge success, right Like,
28:27
Speaker 2: I always want to take those roles where you know
28:30
Speaker 2: it's moving the culture forward and that young people of color,
28:35
Speaker 2: but especially girls, can see that all of our rage
28:41
Speaker 2: is valid. Being a romantic is valid. Because I play
28:45
Speaker 2: so many different characters that I'm not typecast knock on
28:50
Speaker 2: wood yet that overall in my career with my different performances,
28:55
Speaker 2: I just really want to inspire young people of all
29:01
Speaker 2: colors truly to use your imagination, and that is not
29:06
Speaker 2: all the time needed just to perform. Use your imagination
29:11
Speaker 2: and relationships, Use your imagination at work, whatever that job
29:15
Speaker 2: may be. But like, don't get rid of your inner child.
29:20
Speaker 2: Allow that inner child to lead. And that's what I
29:23
Speaker 2: learned when I was working corporate New York. I literally
29:27
Speaker 2: was sitting at my cubicle daydreaming and I saw this
29:31
Speaker 2: like twelve year old version of me sitting on my desk,
29:35
Speaker 2: kicking my file cabinet with her heels, just looking at
29:38
Speaker 2: me and discuss and just kind of like, this is
29:41
Speaker 2: not what you promised me. And I remember daydreaming that,
29:45
Speaker 2: and I was just kind of like, no, it is not.
29:48
Speaker 2: This adult shit is boring. Let's go have fun your turn,
29:53
Speaker 2: and I let the inner child just lead. And if
29:57
Speaker 2: it wasn't for that inner child's imagination, I would not
30:01
Speaker 2: be able to perform upfront of camera. I would not
30:05
Speaker 2: have been able to start at twenty eight with no
30:07
Speaker 2: formal training, no agent, no union, no resume, and be
30:13
Speaker 2: able to be working on films like Daft State and
30:16
Speaker 2: working on TV shows like Matt Lock Withcathy Bates without
30:19
Speaker 2: an agent. If it wasn't for my imagination and my
30:22
Speaker 2: belief in that and my belief in myself. But in
30:25
Speaker 2: order to believe in yourself and tap into an imagination,
30:29
Speaker 2: you really have to be unrealistic in the most beautiful way.
30:34
Speaker 2: So build a vision board. Put it on the wall,
30:37
Speaker 2: because when you put it on the wall, you are
30:39
Speaker 2: now accountable for it, and you have to actually see it.
30:42
Speaker 2: Don't just know it and just journal it. Look at it,
30:45
Speaker 2: be able to actually see it. If it looks ugly.
30:47
Speaker 2: Put the pictures in picture frames. I don't care. Do
30:49
Speaker 2: whatever you got to do, but put it on the wall.
30:52
Speaker 2: Because you know how they say your connection to creating
30:55
Speaker 2: is like what they call a frequency. A frequency is
30:58
Speaker 2: what you frequently see, so you have to keep seeing it.
31:01
Speaker 2: When you keep seeing it, that's what's creating this constant desire.
31:06
Speaker 2: And then once you do that, you will be confronted
31:09
Speaker 2: with like your deserving feelings, right, like do I deserve it?
31:13
Speaker 2: That's the yummie part you have to work through. And
31:16
Speaker 2: the only way to work through that is don't be
31:18
Speaker 2: sad about starting from the bottom. I did. Survive until
31:22
Speaker 2: you thrive. Don't fake it till you make it. Just
31:24
Speaker 2: survive until you thrive. And I just came up.
31:27
Speaker 1: With that sky. If I didn't know better. I would say,
31:29
Speaker 1: you were a preacher's kid, you really have a word.
31:33
Speaker 2: You know what it is. I genuinely feel like if
31:36
Speaker 2: I wasn't an actor, I probably would have been a
31:39
Speaker 2: therapist or like a life coach, because it's not something
31:43
Speaker 2: that I can ever prepare. I cannot prepare for interviews.
31:48
Speaker 2: I literally have to just trust that the connection will
31:53
Speaker 2: happen if I'm with a great interviewer such as yourself,
31:56
Speaker 2: and I just have to trust that whoever registers with
31:59
Speaker 2: it'll with. But in the process of trusting, I end
32:03
Speaker 2: up having like a lot of fun and learning from
32:06
Speaker 2: things that are also coming out of my mouth. So
32:08
Speaker 2: it's funny that you say a preacher because that is
32:10
Speaker 2: what happens with them, and they call it the anointed,
32:14
Speaker 2: and I don't know. I sometimes believe it could be
32:17
Speaker 2: a gift that things will just kind of fall out
32:20
Speaker 2: of my mouth. I hope it helps people, and I
32:24
Speaker 2: even take from it myself. That's the riddle to life
32:27
Speaker 2: is learn from each other. But then don't just romanticize
32:31
Speaker 2: about the dream and then dread the execution, romanticize about
32:35
Speaker 2: all of it. Enjoy the execution, and actors that are
32:39
Speaker 2: given themselves these tight timelines. With that type timeline, I
32:44
Speaker 2: believe you can accomplish it, absolutely, but you better not
32:48
Speaker 2: dread one second of that execution towards that timeline. Don't
32:53
Speaker 2: you dare otherwise? What's the point?
32:56
Speaker 1: I feel lucky. Part of my job is to learn,
32:58
Speaker 1: so I get to learn from a lot of wonderful people.
33:00
Speaker 1: But it's rare that I walk away feeling inspired. You
33:04
Speaker 1: are one of one. I'm so glad I got to
33:06
Speaker 1: meet you, and I'm so grateful for your time.
33:13
Speaker 2: Okay, you know what.
33:14
Speaker 1: Time it is. Today's a good day. To have a
33:17
Speaker 1: good day. I'll see you next week.