Latest / The Table with Anthony ONeal / She Lost $46,000 to a Man—But This Move Made Her Rich

Transcript

She Lost $46,000 to a Man—But This Move Made Her Rich · The Table with Anthony ONeal

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I have, I'm going to get straight into it.
0:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
0:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I have some questions down.
0:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And a very first question I want to ask you is, how did your divorce shift your understanding of truth telling, breaking generational cycles, and learning to walk away?
0:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And why is breaking the cycle so important?
0:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And specifically from breaking the cycle, the financial cycle as well.
0:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
0:28
[SPEAKER_02]: So my divorce taught me a lot about myself and about my own wounds and past trauma.
0:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, I was dealing with a narcissist, a covert narcissist, and this was somebody who was wearing a mask.
0:43
[SPEAKER_02]: So he was living a double life behind my back.
0:47
[SPEAKER_02]: So when I found out all of that,
0:57
[SPEAKER_02]: When I looked back, it started with my own relationship with my father.
1:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And my father is a pastor, old school, Caribbean guy, and emotional unavailability is something that he sees a strength.
1:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So, growing up, we never had a real relationship, we never had a real connection, and he would still go to church and pretend to be this family man, pretend to be this great husband, this great father, and when it came to me getting married,
1:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I knew that I wanted somebody who was the opposite of that.
1:32
[SPEAKER_02]: So the man I married was super communicative.
1:35
[SPEAKER_02]: He showed love very openly.
1:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Nobody saw red flag.
1:41
[SPEAKER_02]: My family, my friends, nobody rates any concerns about him.
1:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Because he was so...
1:46
[SPEAKER_02]: He was everything that my father wasn't.
1:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And the reality is that there are a lot of people wearing masks.
1:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes you over-correct for what you didn't get in your childhood.
2:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And unknowingly you end up with somebody who
2:04
[SPEAKER_02]: is just like my father was emotionally avoidant.
2:08
[SPEAKER_02]: The man I married, he was avoiding himself.
2:10
[SPEAKER_02]: He was avoiding his own truth.
2:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And so even though he performed emotional availability, he wasn't really emotionally available.
2:18
[SPEAKER_02]: He was avoiding himself.
2:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And so...
2:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I had to take a step back and realize what I needed to heal within myself and a lot of therapists will tell you, you marry your unheil trauma.
2:32
[SPEAKER_02]: You think that you're correcting for what you didn't get as a child, but you're missing
2:40
[SPEAKER_02]: The depth and you're missing the connection because you're so focused on being with somebody who's going to be better for you than what you had in your childhood.
2:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And when it comes to walking away and breaking cycles, well first of all, when you're dealing with a narcissist you have to.
2:58
[SPEAKER_02]: you have to verbalize what happens, you have to speak to others about it because narcissism it really thrives in silence.
3:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's one of the reasons why I did take my situation to social media because I wanted to be transparent.
3:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a content creator and I shared my wedding, I shared my prep for the wedding, so many young women follow me and it was only right that I was transparent about what transpired in the marriage.
3:22
[SPEAKER_02]: and calling out narcissism for what it is and helping others to see it for what it is because the reality is again, this man he wore a mask that was so good.
3:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Nobody raised the red flag.
3:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Everybody was convinced that this man loved me so much.
3:37
[SPEAKER_02]: This man is the best man for me.
3:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Nobody raised a red flag.
3:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And so just being able to identify narcissism and helping others to
3:52
[SPEAKER_02]: when you speak truth, you actually free yourself from that cycle of silence, because I came to realize that I'm actually from a narcissistic family.
4:01
[SPEAKER_02]: My own father, the way he treats others in the family, his avoidance, that was mirrored back to me in the man that I married, avoiding himself.
4:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And financially, here's the thing, whatever you tolerate in your relationships, that is going to translate in your money, absolutely, and so a lot of women reached out to me after I posted my divorce series and they were talking about the fact that they're dealing with an abusive situation with a narcissist or an avoidant or whatever it might be and they can't leave because they don't have their own money.
4:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're trying to reach out to me to figure out how to make more money, how to get money, how so that they can pivot out of that situation.
4:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
4:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And
4:44
[SPEAKER_02]: This is why I do what I do when it comes to workshops and classes for women because you have to be able, you have to be financially independent so that you can leave any situation that's no longer serving you.
4:55
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6:14
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you are online known as the finance batty and your TikTok went extremely viral.
6:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:24
[SPEAKER_00]: When you started talking about the narcissist and your divorce, to provide education, because I think a lot of ladies use a term narcissist.
6:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you describe the difference between, you did this in one of your videos.
6:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so there's not, so here's the thing, you have narcissistic traits and you have narcissistic personality disorder.
6:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's the thing most people in order to be successful.
6:51
[SPEAKER_02]: We do have some narcissistic traits, but someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
6:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm not a psychiatrist.
6:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not a therapist or anything like that.
7:02
[SPEAKER_02]: They are going to pretend to be somebody that they're not.
7:09
[SPEAKER_02]: The person I was dealing with, that was a covert narcissist.
7:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So he is convinced that he's a good person.
7:17
[SPEAKER_02]: The mass that he wears to the world is this family man, this excellent husband, just the best man, hardworking, whatever.
7:26
[SPEAKER_02]: But in secret, they're living a double life.
7:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And a lot of what they do is they gaslight you, they're going to love bomb you.
7:35
[SPEAKER_02]: So anytime you raise any concerns, they're going to pretend like they made a change.
7:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So they're doing better.
7:42
[SPEAKER_02]: They're going to bring all these flowers.
7:44
[SPEAKER_02]: But they're not actually going to change.
7:46
[SPEAKER_02]: So there's a lot to it because I also found out that he tried to sabotage my career on Wall Street.
7:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I found out that he tried to sabotage
8:00
[SPEAKER_02]: my best friend and all lot pretending to be like the person was there for me.
8:04
[SPEAKER_02]: So the person I'm sleeping next to is trying to destroy me in secret.
8:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you remarried?
8:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
8:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, that actually started before we got married when he tried to destroy my career on Wall Street.
8:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't find that out until earlier this year.
8:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
8:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And he would pray with me.
8:22
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so crazy.
8:23
[SPEAKER_02]: He would pray with
8:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and they just can't face themselves.
8:32
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the biggest thing with narcissists.
8:34
[SPEAKER_02]: They can't face themselves.
8:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Even when you present the evidence to them, right?
8:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I had evidence of what he was doing behind my back.
8:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's incomplete denial.
8:43
[SPEAKER_02]: They can't face themselves.
8:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
8:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
8:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So here in a few days, yeah.
8:49
[SPEAKER_00]: One thing I love about your brand is you are helping ladies.
8:55
[SPEAKER_00]: and fashion and in finance by telling your story and living your life.
8:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
9:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And on December 30th of 2025, you're going to be having a finance workshop.
9:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Give us a little bit of an information about that, of why that's so important.
9:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course, so on December 30th at 7 p.m.
9:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm having a virtual finance workshop is actually a finance vision board party is called rich girl reset and it's really to help women step into 2026 really confident a lot of what I do in all my workshops is I give them sound financial principles.
9:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I worked on Wall Street for five years, and I learned a lot about personal finance during that time, so helping them understand, of course, budgeting, investing all of that.
9:41
[SPEAKER_02]: But at the same time, women, we are different from men, and our approach to money is different.
9:46
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I do try to encourage women to lean into their creativity and always lean into the areas of life where they can monetize outside of their nine to five or whatever it is.
9:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So, this rich girl reset is going to be really a wealth activation, is what it's going to be.
10:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And really helping them to make more money in 2020, so it's not just about budgeting and keeping yourself small, it's learning to make more money how to invest and actually grow your money.
10:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, I love it.
10:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
10:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
10:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I met you, was it three years ago?
10:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, 2023.
10:20
[SPEAKER_02]: 2023.
10:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
10:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
10:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Right when you was with your ex has been our dating.
10:28
[SPEAKER_02]: We were dating.
10:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
10:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just saw the happiness, I saw you glow about it.
10:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have a question here when I ask you, because I think it's important to kind of relate to, I think a lot of people watching this are only blessed because a lot of them have gone through divorce and they're still trying to recover.
10:51
[SPEAKER_00]: What did Copen look like for you earlier in life?
10:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Before you have the emotional tools you have today,
10:57
[SPEAKER_00]: How did you handle heartbreak or the disappointment?
11:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so when I was younger, and I can remember when I was like 20, 21 years old, I experienced what I now know is heartbreak.
11:12
[SPEAKER_02]: But at the time, I felt so much pain that I,
11:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I just knew I didn't want to feel it anymore.
11:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And that was actually the start of my Wall Street career because I poured myself into work and getting an internship and just focusing on my career because I was telling myself, you know what?
11:31
[SPEAKER_02]: My career can't disappoint me.
11:32
[SPEAKER_02]: My career can't hurt me.
11:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's where I shifted my energy on my focus.
11:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And also when you're so young, you don't even know yourself.
11:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So when you go through betrayal, when you go through
11:44
[SPEAKER_02]: anything in a relationship dynamic that's not positive.
11:49
[SPEAKER_02]: You tend to internalize what happens to you.
11:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I was so young.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know myself.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I thought it was me, truly.
11:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just didn't want to feel the pain.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I focused on work.
12:01
[SPEAKER_02]: But the reality is when you do that, you are avoiding the root of the issue and you're avoiding actually feeling the pain.
12:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you actually allow yourself to feel the pain and feel the betrayal, that's when you can actually get to the root of the issue.
12:15
[SPEAKER_02]: You're like, oh, okay.
12:16
[SPEAKER_02]: This is why I ended up dating this type of person and you get to the root of the issue.
12:21
[SPEAKER_02]: This time around going through my divorce earlier this year, I was 29 and just had a better sense of self and I think just having more confidence and just knowing my worth and knowing my value when I found out what was happening behind my back, I was like, oh, okay, this is not a reflection of me.
12:42
[SPEAKER_02]: It's disappointing.
12:43
[SPEAKER_02]: It's shocking because
12:45
[SPEAKER_02]: his mask was so good, but it's not a reflection of me because only a wounded person, only an unhealed man would do that to you.
12:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So more than anything I felt pity, I really did I felt pity for him, and I still do wish him healing and I wish him peace, but this time around it was okay.
13:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I see what it is.
13:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm able to step back.
13:09
[SPEAKER_02]: This is not about me and I was able to really get to the root of the
13:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
13:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So.
13:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I've gone viral and gotten negative feedback from them about to ask you and I've gotten some positive feedback and I've noticed the negative feedback comes mainly from, I would say the Christian community and or people who are just not educated with this.
13:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone as young as you are, I won't put your age out there.
13:46
[SPEAKER_02]: 30.
13:47
[SPEAKER_02]: It's fine.
13:48
[SPEAKER_00]: We felt like a full five respect that 30 years though you've been through the divorce earlier.
13:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
13:53
[SPEAKER_00]: In life, no kids.
13:56
[SPEAKER_00]: But you are financially successful.
13:58
[SPEAKER_00]: You were on Wall Street.
14:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
14:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and correct me from wrong from doing my research more because I met you at the cold and toilet robbers thing.
14:06
[SPEAKER_00]: It was going, he was killing me by them.
14:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Still are killing it now, I don't want to knock out what you're doing now, but you were financially in a good place to where you didn't need a man for finance.
14:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, never.
14:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And he said, never.
14:20
[SPEAKER_02]: That's wrong.
14:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Or still relax.
14:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Great.
14:24
[SPEAKER_00]: But following your journey when you were married, you shifted.
14:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
14:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Today, your single, you said it cost you $41,000 for your divorce, right?
14:47
[SPEAKER_02]: $46, yeah.
14:48
[SPEAKER_00]: $46, yeah.
14:50
[SPEAKER_00]: $46, yeah.
14:50
[SPEAKER_00]: $46,000 for your divorce, and you are getting back to where you were the pre-marriage, getting married again, you're 30.
15:01
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to get married again?
15:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Is he signing a good pre-not?
15:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
15:08
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
15:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
15:10
[SPEAKER_00]: What's your stance on that now coming on this side of the world?
15:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
15:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Why would you as a Christian woman, right?
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: You're very strong in your belief.
15:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
15:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Your Christian walk.
15:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, why are pretty not now?
15:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I didn't sign a pre-nup for my first marriage.
15:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Was an option or you didn't
15:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I was so, I think, here's the thing, I believe in love.
15:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a lover girl.
15:42
[SPEAKER_02]: That's just how I am.
15:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think you get so happy and you get so, you just think that this is gonna be a lifetime thing.
15:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
15:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And so,
15:54
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think the thing is, I believe this man's heart for me more than anything else.
15:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it wasn't about his looks.
15:59
[SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't about his money.
16:00
[SPEAKER_02]: He also worked on Wall Street.
16:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
16:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I believe his heart for me and I was like, well, why do we need a prenaut?
16:07
[SPEAKER_02]: But we both, we both were like, we don't need a prenaut.
16:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Like we both.
16:09
[SPEAKER_00]: He was another Christian too.
16:11
[SPEAKER_02]: He is.
16:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
16:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
16:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Another thing about narcissists, they're gonna go to church.
16:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
16:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, but yeah, I believe it's hard for me, and we, we talked about it, but we didn't really, we're like, ah, we don't need it.
16:30
[SPEAKER_02]: It is what it is.
16:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
16:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And thankfully, we were able to walk away from the marriage in a good position both of us, but absolutely, I would do it again, and I would absolutely get an infidelity clause.
16:45
[SPEAKER_02]: That is because I always say
16:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, I would also get a reputational protection clause, especially if you're a public figure that's something that people can start saying whatever, especially when you're dealing with a narcissist, okay.
17:01
[SPEAKER_02]: They'll start making up stories about you.
17:03
[SPEAKER_02]: That's important.
17:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, so Paul's for educational purpose.
17:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's go back to infidelity clause.
17:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
17:10
[SPEAKER_00]: What does that mean for someone who's never heard of that?
17:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
17:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So pretty much if he breaks the vase, he breaks bread, period.
17:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So if he's going to cheat on you.
17:20
[SPEAKER_02]: you can set it up however you want, but you should get compensated.
17:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I think you should, or at least you're not going to get any alimony depending on the situation that you have.
17:29
[SPEAKER_02]: If you cheat on somebody, if you step out on your marriage, you broke the contract.
17:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Certain things are no longer going to be happening.
17:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought I was going to get married at one point a time a few years ago to a young lady.
17:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And it didn't work out.
17:54
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
17:54
[SPEAKER_00]: It didn't work out because of me.
17:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll be honest, I own that part.
17:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Not because I ain't cheating.
17:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I like that crazy old.
18:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I wasn't moving with intentions at that time.
18:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And he said, if she was my client, and she came to me, I'm saying I'm about to marry Anthony O'Neill,
18:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Anthony O'Neill did not have the infidelity clause in there saying that if he cheats you get X amount of dollars for every single year you were married.
18:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I would tell her she is absolutely crazy to get married.
18:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, what he said, so the infidelity cause makes you as the man think three times is this worth messing up this.
18:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And if it's something that you fill as if you need to walk away from, you will start their process at least in a healthier way.
18:45
[SPEAKER_00]: May not be the right way.
18:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, yo, I don't get married, express that at this age.
18:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not getting married with divorce in mind.
18:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, and I knew better.
18:59
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a thing.
18:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I worked on Wall Street, I knew better.
19:01
[SPEAKER_02]: But I think a lot of the times as women, and this is why I do what I do on my channel, we lead with our hearts a lot.
19:09
[SPEAKER_02]: We are just so loving.
19:10
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not about what, for some of us at least, it's not about what somebody can do for me because I already have my own.
19:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I do my own.
19:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah.
19:17
[SPEAKER_02]: But...
19:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I just didn't think that that would happen to me, I just did not see it coming at all.
19:24
[SPEAKER_02]: That's thing.
19:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And so you have to prepare yourself, you have to be realistic because at the end of the day, we're human beings.
19:30
[SPEAKER_02]: people change and people wear masks and that's why I shared my story because so many people were just shocked they're like oh no but he's such a good guy like this is a great guy he went to Ivy League universities he worked on Wall Street he's like this clean image how could it be that he would have done that to you it happens it happens I mean it takes us it takes who so you'll have the infidelity clause you'll have the reputation clause and that simply means you cannot say
20:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
20:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
20:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Also a financial infidelity clause, which is important.
20:04
[SPEAKER_02]: So whatever you're doing with your finances, like, because people hide finances very well for sure.
20:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they hide whatever they're doing with their money very well.
20:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's something I would definitely get.
20:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, correct me from Rome, because I know you will.
20:19
[SPEAKER_04]: Uh-huh.
20:19
[SPEAKER_00]: That's more so lady's hiding money than his men, though.
20:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you say?
20:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Both.
20:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Evely?
20:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, both.
20:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Give me some time.
20:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I have never heard of a man hiding money.
20:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I've heard of lady's hiding money, because they're fearful what happens if after if it was to separate what they have in my life.
20:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I've never heard of men.
20:37
[SPEAKER_04]: Why do I need to?
20:38
[SPEAKER_00]: They do it.
20:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Brothers, we need to have a conversation because I cringe when I hear the word narcissists, but I know as a man, I have to admit there are men out there who are narcissists.
20:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and that's it.
20:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's the thing Anthony, I think the word is thrown out a lot.
21:01
[SPEAKER_02]: It is a truth.
21:03
[SPEAKER_02]: But, again, narcissistic traits versus narcissistic personality disorder.
21:08
[SPEAKER_01]: What happens to your family if something happened to you?
21:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna ask that again.
21:14
[SPEAKER_00]: What happens to your family when something happens to you?
21:18
[SPEAKER_00]: You see, life insurance feels scary, feels complicated, and even expensive.
21:23
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's the thing, it doesn't have to be anymore.
21:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of us are walking around with no life
21:34
[SPEAKER_00]: thinking, I'm young, I'm healthy, I got time, and I want to be honest with you, I'm so sorry, that's not a faith, that is pure foolishness.
21:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's what I love about my friends already, those.
21:47
[SPEAKER_00]: They've made getting term life insurance 100% simple.
21:51
[SPEAKER_00]: No medical exams, no waiting weeks for approval.
21:54
[SPEAKER_01]: You can get a quote online in literally 10 minutes like myself and get approved the exact same day.
22:00
[SPEAKER_01]: We're talking coverage from $100,000 up to $2 million with absolutely no blood work.
22:07
[SPEAKER_01]: way less than what you actually think.
22:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Term life insurance is pure protection at a fraction of the cost of whole life insurance.
22:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Look, I healthy 30-year-old can get a 500,000 policy for about 25,000 months.
22:21
[SPEAKER_01]: That's less than your Netflix and Spotify combined.
22:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, your family deserves to be protected.
22:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't leave them struggling in pay bills.
22:32
[SPEAKER_00]: and funeral costs because you kept putting this on.
22:36
[SPEAKER_00]: While you're in heaven, smiling, your family's out of your stress because of your poor decisions, let's stop playing games, with your family's future.
22:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Get your free quote today in 10 minutes by going to Anthonyonil.com for Sasha Yepelch, again.
22:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Go to Anthonyonil.com for Sasha Yepelch.
22:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And our promise you,
22:59
[SPEAKER_00]: You will feel way better and sleep better at night.
23:02
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's get back to today's show.
23:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we're gonna have this conversation because
23:10
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the reasons why I love talking about finances we had a love talking about is because I'm for the black family.
23:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And I believe that finances are important.
23:22
[SPEAKER_00]: But one thing I have learned, which I'm trying to figure out how to put this content, which is why I'm so happy that you hear my happiness conversation.
23:30
[SPEAKER_00]: But I understand that if men first, because I always start with the man, then I go to the woman, if men first, if we're not healed,
23:39
[SPEAKER_00]: if we're not getting therapy and if we're not surrounded by other men who can hold us accountable huge right then we're not going to it doesn't matter how much money we have yeah because the more money we actually have then more of the unhealthy side of us will be exposed
24:03
[SPEAKER_00]: My pastor, who's one of my closest friends, and he's called me on so much of my issues in BS.
24:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
24:11
[SPEAKER_00]: My mentors who are older, been married 40 years, 40 years, or like that.
24:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And you said something, and I want to talk about this.
24:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm.
24:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to talk about accountability.
24:24
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
24:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Because...
24:28
[SPEAKER_00]: You said something like, I don't know if you said it on a show or beforehand, but you was like saying something how it starts at home.
24:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It does.
24:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think I'm just different, right?
24:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think, me and you were talking about it.
24:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You said sometimes for men it starts with the mother.
24:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
24:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Mother is always going to affirm their sons or their children.
24:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It's typically, but for sure sons.
24:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
24:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I am backwards.
24:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have two, so I have a biological parents and then they married other, right?
25:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So my biological mother and my other mother, them joke was not in firm, me.
25:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, every time I will call them, like I'll call them two times in relationships.
25:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just knew my mom was going to have my dad.
25:16
[SPEAKER_00]: My mom said, I want them to say, what the hell are you doing?
25:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, no, son, that is unacceptable.
25:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And she said the name, we'll say the name of my ex-fiance, say,
25:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And she said, baby, let me, let me call you back.
25:29
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm gonna talk to Anthony first.
25:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And my mom really held me accountable.
25:35
[SPEAKER_00]: That's huge.
25:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And I never, like, the last person I'm gonna talk to by relationships.
25:42
[SPEAKER_00]: are my mothers because I know they're going to hold me accountable more than anyone else.
25:49
[SPEAKER_00]: But then it's like now God has really put me in a place to wear.
25:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone around me is going to hold me accountable.
25:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I have friends.
25:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I talk to a lot who live here.
26:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I won't say their names, but they just got engaged.
26:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And every time we talk, they always say, okay, Anthony, what did you do?
26:08
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
26:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Like what can you learn?
26:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you believe for a man's perspective?
26:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
26:17
[SPEAKER_00]: We could do better at holding ourselves accountable.
26:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
26:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I think accountability, that's the difference between a wounded little boy and a man.
26:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
26:26
[SPEAKER_00]: That's real.
26:26
[SPEAKER_02]: That's real.
26:27
[SPEAKER_02]: But I think the reality is...
26:30
[SPEAKER_04]: This is good.
26:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I think the reality is a lot of men see accountability as man bashing.
26:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, I can I can sense that because as soon as you hold them accountable, they see it as an attack But the reality is the most loving thing somebody can do for you is hold you accountable Facts absolutely and they need to understand that and you're you're able to acknowledge that Anthony Because and it ain't easy exactly and it took time to get there and it's still to this data Doesn't feel good right accountability doesn't feel good right I ain't gonna lie to nobody
27:04
[SPEAKER_00]: But I know that it will, one, it helps my business, you know, help my future relationship and I honestly wish that I had accountability, yeah, but the love of my life, I wouldn't have like, right because they were like, yo, you that do like you got this you got that you got this man you can get some better.
27:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and one of them was a pastor, well, who did not hold me accountable.
27:33
[SPEAKER_00]: He actually told me to leave her and that's why I left her.
27:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and so...
27:40
[SPEAKER_00]: accountability is hard for men.
27:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It is.
27:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm trying to be wise with my words if I don't want men to think that we are bashing them because we're not because here's what you did.
27:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, here's the thing.
27:52
[SPEAKER_02]: The most somebody who truly loves you Anthony three things.
27:55
[SPEAKER_02]: They're going to hold your accountable.
27:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
27:56
[SPEAKER_02]: They're going to encourage you to heal.
27:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
27:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're going to require honesty from you.
28:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I grew with that.
28:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is something in 2026.
28:03
[SPEAKER_00]: We were doing a man's group to where every month, men would get together.
28:07
[SPEAKER_00]: It will be solely round finances.
28:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I use finance to draw us in.
28:12
[SPEAKER_00]: So we talk about that.
28:13
[SPEAKER_00]: But within those groups, we had one.
28:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And inside of that group, Ed will tell you my video guy.
28:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And no woman was allowed.
28:25
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
28:25
[SPEAKER_00]: There's only one woman who
28:29
[SPEAKER_00]: and 50% of the conversation with my men and money, but then the other 50% is about yo, we gotta hold each other accountable.
28:36
[SPEAKER_00]: We do.
28:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Because our families are not gonna be better.
28:39
[SPEAKER_00]: If we don't have, what's the proper way to say it?
28:46
[SPEAKER_00]: If we don't have,
28:50
[SPEAKER_00]: control over our fresh.
28:52
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
28:54
[SPEAKER_00]: If we can't date one woman and be faithful in that relationship, if we can't be married, even within my organization, if you work with me, they son of call us and it'll be faithful and you're not faithful.
29:11
[SPEAKER_00]: They got a resign.
29:12
[SPEAKER_00]: They'll get a letter of recommendation from me because I know it doesn't impact their work, but I want to be around
29:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I love that.
29:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we do that.
29:22
[SPEAKER_00]: But then within those circles, I want to ask you this questions.
29:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be fair on both sides.
29:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
29:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Men we have those conversations about accountability.
29:31
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
29:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're pride for men.
29:34
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's a hard conversation.
29:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
29:36
[SPEAKER_00]: But inside of that conversation in the light, man.
29:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Accountability for me, okay, I get.
29:43
[SPEAKER_00]: But what about my wife?
29:44
[SPEAKER_00]: What about the ladies like accountability for them?
29:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Seems like it's even harder because their ladies tend to support their thinking rather than hold them accountable.
29:56
[SPEAKER_00]: What are some things ladies should be accountable for you think?
29:59
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's, I love that you asked that question.
30:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I think women largely have to be accountable for enabling low vibrational behavior and enabling dysfunction.
30:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Largely as women, men and women, we tend to confuse love with attachment.
30:20
[SPEAKER_02]: So we tend to get with the man and because we value being a wife or value being his girl or fiance, whatever it is.
30:30
[SPEAKER_02]: we see the bad behavior, we see little signs, but we stay around because we're like, you know what, it is what it is.
30:37
[SPEAKER_02]: But again, that's not love.
30:39
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not love.
30:39
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're not holding him accountable, if you're not helping him become the best version of himself.
30:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes that means walking away.
30:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's why I did talk about my divorce because I think the highest form of love, again, is accountability.
30:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes it's walking away, right?
30:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Because
30:57
[SPEAKER_02]: If you truly love yourself, if you truly love yourself, you're not going to tolerate disrespect, you're not going to tolerate cheating, you're not going to tolerate betrayal, but a lot of us as women, we don't love ourselves.
31:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So we let people walk all over us.
31:10
[SPEAKER_02]: We let them, we let them get away with all kinds of behavior, we don't stay anything, and we need to be accountable for that.
31:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And again, mothers,
31:18
[SPEAKER_02]: a lot of mothers it was different for you but a lot of mothers they don't hold their sons accountable if you ask anybody they had like a sister brother the sister had a different upbringing then the brother the brother could do anything and so it starts in childhood if you as a mother always enabled your son when he becomes 20 years old when he's out there in the world
31:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Where's the accountability?
31:41
[SPEAKER_04]: Yep.
31:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And the thing is, you're going to have a man like that attaching himself to women who always enable him and always prop up his ego.
31:51
[SPEAKER_00]: So look at his voice, mom.
31:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
31:53
[SPEAKER_00]: For sure.
31:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
31:54
[SPEAKER_02]: And his mom is destroying him at the end of the day.
31:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Because anybody who truly loves you wants to see you grow, they're not going to encourage the low vibrational behavior.
32:04
[SPEAKER_02]: They're not going to encourage you doing things that are beneath you.
32:07
[SPEAKER_02]: That's just not love.
32:08
[SPEAKER_00]: That's no, it's not.
32:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And I see that a lot of ladies.
32:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And how would you say, because you're, you're not a mother, but let's say a, a, a healthy man is dating a healthy woman, right, who's raising a son, but her love is enabling and he sees that.
32:32
[SPEAKER_00]: how should he bring up the conversation, or should he not even bring that up?
32:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Could you know, that could be a sensitive conversation with her because he could be trying to hold an accountable that can help his son in a long run because I have male friends who were sheltered, confirmed their entire life by their mothers.
32:53
[SPEAKER_00]: and get to a woman, and their relationship is not working, not so little because of them.
32:58
[SPEAKER_00]: It's because they were trained.
33:00
[SPEAKER_00]: That way, if my mom did all this, then my woman should do this too.
33:03
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
33:04
[SPEAKER_00]: So how should a man?
33:06
[SPEAKER_00]: have that conversation if he sees it or do you think he should not and leave it?
33:10
[SPEAKER_02]: He should absolutely have that conversation.
33:11
[SPEAKER_02]: He should have that conversation.
33:13
[SPEAKER_02]: We have to hold each other accountable, Anthony, because again, it's not just for men, it's for women, accountability is the highest form of love.
33:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm telling you, it's the highest form of love.
33:22
[SPEAKER_02]: If somebody doesn't hold you accountable, if they just affirm what you're doing, right, especially when it comes to a child.
33:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
33:29
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to hold it accountable.
33:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
33:31
[SPEAKER_02]: You can't just affirm your child.
33:32
[SPEAKER_02]: He has to learn, your child is learning from you.
33:35
[SPEAKER_02]: You have a duty to make sure that they're raised the right way.
33:39
[SPEAKER_02]: So we have to hold each other accountable.
33:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And we need to stop taking accountability.
33:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So personal.
33:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And if accountability triggers you, that tells me that you have some work to do.
33:50
[SPEAKER_02]: You have some healing to do.
33:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
33:52
[SPEAKER_02]: That's true.
33:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I want my people to hold me accountable because I know that's what makes me better.
33:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I want my friends to hold me accountable.
33:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
33:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I want my family to hold me accountable.
34:00
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what makes me better.
34:01
[SPEAKER_00]: None of that.
34:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
34:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks.
34:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I agree with that, man.
34:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I have good friends.
34:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I can say they're named Ronnie and Courtney.
34:10
[SPEAKER_00]: He's on my show every month and every time we go out to eat.
34:12
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
34:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Ronnie has this thing and she's like, all right, what is one thing you're working on?
34:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
34:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we tell each other what is one thing you need to work on.
34:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh.
34:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's not just a good feeling.
34:25
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, hey, hey, oh, we see you doing this.
34:28
[SPEAKER_00]: You got to stop.
34:29
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
34:29
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you need to you need to pivot this, you need to do this.
34:32
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, Ronnie, we see you doing this.
34:34
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, quarter, we see you doing this.
34:35
[SPEAKER_00]: We do that at least once a month.
34:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love that because it challenges me and it makes me better to hear the negative.
34:44
[SPEAKER_00]: But then also what I love is after the negative, you know, here's where you're killing it.
34:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
34:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Keep doing that.
34:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, teach us how you're doing that.
34:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's this accountability and then there's this love and we're helping each other growing.
34:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's what I love about it.
34:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is why I just love them too is we see the growth.
35:03
[SPEAKER_00]: We see the growth.
35:05
[SPEAKER_00]: and I love that.
35:07
[SPEAKER_00]: So as we end this show, two things.
35:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Number one, December 30th.
35:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And put me on this calendar.
35:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm out on this, not as calendar on this camera right here.
35:18
[SPEAKER_00]: December 30th.
35:20
[SPEAKER_00]: She has an amazing workshop.
35:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Rich Bill Reset.
35:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Rich Girl Reset.
35:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And I firmly do believe.
35:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been following her journey for like three years.
35:29
[SPEAKER_00]: She's killing the game.
35:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to encourage you to check it out, right?
35:34
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're going to put the link and started the show description.
35:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Read the watch on this on YouTube and on podcast.
35:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to go check it out.
35:42
[SPEAKER_00]: because she's going to really teach you finances from a woman perspective, and I can't do that.
35:46
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I can teach you how to get out of that and build wealth.
35:49
[SPEAKER_00]: But I can't teach you that from a woman's perspective.
35:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, brothers, I think this is a good Christmas gift to give on top of what you're giving.
35:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't just give this because then, you know, I want to create no issues at the house.
36:02
[SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, I think brothers, we could do better at selling into our significant others financial future.
36:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm selling into their business, selling into Sahano, go do this for you.
36:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I bought to take it, whatever the price was.
36:17
[SPEAKER_00]: But spend a couple of hours with the finance battery and become a finance battery.
36:22
[SPEAKER_00]: It's serious.
36:24
[SPEAKER_00]: With that being said, I'm curious, with your experience as a woman who's in a beauty world, who was in Wall Street, who was married now divorce.
36:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And this season of whatever the season is for you, what is two financial things you've learned that you think all ladies should know?
36:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, first of all.
36:49
[SPEAKER_02]: So so many women reached out to me on the back of my divorce series.
36:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Tell me that they were in similar situations.
36:56
[SPEAKER_02]: They were in abusive relationships, relationships with narcissists.
37:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And they just didn't have the money to leave.
37:03
[SPEAKER_02]: So there are some of them have kids, some don't, and it broke my heart because they essentially prompted me to create another financial workshop, and I do them every now and then to help them to get their finances in order so that they can pivot.
37:18
[SPEAKER_02]: It's important for you to be financially independent.
37:20
[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't matter if you are married to the richest man in the world, you need to have your own money.
37:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Because, again, people are human, circumstances change.
37:31
[SPEAKER_02]: You always want to be able to earn your own income.
37:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that empowers you as a woman as well.
37:38
[SPEAKER_02]: It really does.
37:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Apart from that, get a pre-nope.
37:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, get a pre-nup.
37:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
37:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Get the pre-nup.
37:45
[SPEAKER_02]: See on his pre-nup, go, hey, pre-nup.
37:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
37:50
[SPEAKER_02]: We're getting pre-nups.
37:51
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what we're doing, because we are protecting our financial futures.
37:55
[SPEAKER_02]: We're protecting ourselves financially.
37:57
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't want to be in a situation where everything's going wonderful.
38:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And suddenly, you realize this person was wearing a mask.
38:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Learn from my experience and protect yourself.
38:08
[SPEAKER_00]: What if this young lady only makes $50,000 a year?
38:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
38:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Get a pre-nup.
38:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, look at a pre-nope.
38:15
[SPEAKER_02]: You never know.
38:15
[SPEAKER_02]: You never know.
38:16
[SPEAKER_00]: So the pre-nope is not just about the money.
38:19
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
38:20
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just protection.
38:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's the thing.
38:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Marriage is a contract.
38:23
[SPEAKER_02]: You're entering into a contract.
38:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
38:25
[SPEAKER_02]: You've got to protect yourself.
38:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, right.
38:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I agree with you.
38:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, appreciate it.
38:30
[UNKNOWN]: God.
38:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just asking your perspective as a black woman who loves a Lord.
38:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm saying, because I mean, a lot of people are not really educated on the term.
38:38
[SPEAKER_02]: We can love the Lord.
38:39
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't have to be naive.
38:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I think their thing is, and we're aware of what time y'all started this, but it's a good question.
38:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
38:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I think a lot of people specifically in a Christian world, fill as if we are saying that this will come to an end, eventually.
38:53
[SPEAKER_02]: No, we're just acknowledging that we're human.
38:55
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what we're doing.
38:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think the more people learn from people like me who've been through situations like this and actually realize that look, this could happen to any of us.
39:05
[SPEAKER_02]: None of us are above this.
39:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm telling you, this person, the mask was impeccable.
39:10
[SPEAKER_02]: My mother loved this man, my family loved this man, my friends loved this man.
39:14
[SPEAKER_02]: They were convinced they were like, oh, nobody has loved you like this before, right?
39:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And to find out what I found out,
39:20
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, one thing I'm walking away from this interview and I think all men need to walk away from this interview is do the work and over the last I would say specifically three years.
39:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I've really been doing more work.
39:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been doing therapy for about I say about since I was, yeah, since my separation from my experience.
39:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's been about 11 years now.
39:49
[SPEAKER_00]: But I've really been doing more work from therapy, even to, I even do silent retreats now.
39:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, wow.
39:59
[SPEAKER_00]: To where we even go deeper.
40:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
40:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And we identify some of my narcissistic traits.
40:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
40:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And my therapist is teaching me how,
40:09
[SPEAKER_00]: It's healthy and how it can become unhealthy and how I need to acknowledge when they start becoming unhealthy and she said It's almost like fire.
40:18
[SPEAKER_00]: We need fire because we need heat.
40:21
[SPEAKER_00]: We need a cook
40:22
[SPEAKER_00]: but fire used in an unhealthy perspective can destroy your house.
40:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Apps can kill somebody.
40:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So she was like those traits, like what you said, they have helped you build a business, that helped you get out of debt.
40:34
[SPEAKER_00]: They've helped you get into a lot of doors and stay in those rooms because you've got to have that it factor in some of those traits help.
40:42
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
40:43
[SPEAKER_00]: My biggest concern for you, Anthony, is how do we identify those and bring those back when you're in relationships, business relationships, romantic relationships, even with family, because even with my team, she's like, you know, one of your traces, you could be very controlling.
41:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So even my team is like,
41:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what I want, so I'm going to control the narrative to get what I want, rather than trusting Ed with the camera.
41:08
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
41:09
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, Ed, I'm going to trust you because I may not get what Anthony on the old ones, but if Anthony is a A plus and Ed can give me a B plus A minus, get the B plus A minus.
41:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
41:19
[SPEAKER_00]: rather than trying to control the narrative and then Ed feels controlled.
41:23
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
41:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm learning that stuff.
41:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's one thing I really want all of us men to do.
41:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're going to have a link inside of the show where you can go get therapy.
41:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it starts really with having it on its conversation.
41:37
[SPEAKER_00]: with someone who you trust, some who you pay to be quiet, and to really tell some of your dark thoughts, secrets, unhealthy stuff, and work through those, because I don't care who you are, man or woman, we all have them.
41:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I just want to add in speaking about it.
41:55
[SPEAKER_02]: That's how you heal.
41:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So I love that you're encouraging them in to go to therapy and speak.
41:59
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to talk about your trauma.
42:00
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to talk about your pain.
42:02
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to talk about it with somebody else.
42:04
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to end up becoming this narcissistic person.
42:07
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to vocalize it.
42:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And so maybe you're not like me.
42:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe you don't go to the internet necessarily, but talk to somebody you have to.
42:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
42:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
42:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I was just 90% of the people don't be like her.
42:19
[SPEAKER_00]: because because here's what I can tell this, you've done the work internally.
42:23
[SPEAKER_04]: I have.
42:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So you can speak on it publicly.
42:25
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
42:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the problem with speaking on it publicly is, if you speak on it publicly, then you're allowing the public to give you thoughts back in comments.
42:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
42:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're not healed internally, you're going to just appreciate those projections.
42:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
42:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
42:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it was like, I know for a fact,
42:41
[SPEAKER_00]: people want to put comments on this about me, right?
42:44
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's like, I've done a work internally.
42:46
[SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
42:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So it doesn't faze me.
42:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Majority people have not done a work.
42:49
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
42:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And so what I don't want men to do is, I don't want any work by jumping.
42:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we ain't like ladies, ladies, they're going to do that.
42:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And what you are doing, I think it's needed.
43:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So what I told you when I take you, I was like, yo, what you're doing is needed.
43:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
43:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And I appreciate you for that, because you're killing the game.
43:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I appreciate you.
43:08
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, but,
43:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And thanks for giving light to my story.
43:11
[SPEAKER_02]: It's important, like as a male, like there's so many men who shy away from things like this because they're like, oh, she's male bashing.
43:17
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
43:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So that I told you that I said, it could come off as male bashing.
43:21
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think if you, if, as if you're in your ego, yeah, if you're in your ego.
43:25
[SPEAKER_00]: When I watched the TikTok stuff, and I saw that earlier, right?
43:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when I watched your Instagram, then when I had a conversation with you,
43:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't feel any kind of way.
43:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, the truth is the truth.
43:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
43:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And brothers, we got to do some work.
43:40
[SPEAKER_00]: But like I said, too, ladies got to do some work, too.
43:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I think human being.
43:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Every got to work.
43:45
[SPEAKER_00]: However, this is where the man do not like me.
43:49
[SPEAKER_00]: It starts with men.
43:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we set the tempo.
43:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we set the foundation of the union.
43:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And if I'm whole and healed and continuing to improve and evolve, I'm not saying that she's gonna be perfect.
44:05
[SPEAKER_00]: But a good woman is going to follow him.
44:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because we mirror back whatever you're projecting.
44:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what all of my mentors have told me.
44:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And what we'll close in is, and it was so fun.
44:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I went to one of my good friends, wedding, and the pastor.
44:20
[SPEAKER_00]: He got her divorce, got remarried, and the pastor told him, if I see
44:26
[SPEAKER_00]: The wife, he's an older pastor.
44:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is like words, not my words.
44:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, he said, if I see the wife out of line, I'm not questioning her.
44:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm looking at you.
44:36
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, because if she's out of line, that means you're out of line.
44:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because she's only mirroring what she was in front of her.
44:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
44:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And some of the guys hated that comment.
44:47
[SPEAKER_00]: But he looked at the pastor and said, yes, sir.
44:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I went to the reception, he said, yo, you hear what the ship's on?
44:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, yeah.
44:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Fisher's up is that because when you get married she's going to marry who you are absolutely and he said the reason why my last marriage in work It's because of me Because I she was just marrying me, so I'm the reason So now what I'm doing is I'm in a mirror every single day working on me because if I work on me There's union and our family will be better and I say y'all and I never get with drive home.
45:17
[SPEAKER_00]: It's about four-hour drive And I was in tears because I'm like I don't work on me right
45:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I work with me, and so maybe that we're gonna sell up.
45:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So listen, ladies, go check out her rich goal reset.
45:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Rich goal reset, that's December 30th, and that link will be inside the description.
45:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And then everybody's, but especially Black Man, go to anthonyo.com for slash therapy.
45:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And I wanna challenge you to get therapy at least start off with once a month.
45:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I go every other week.
45:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I will not miss it for nothing.
45:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Even if I don't have nothing mentally going on and 2020's five has been a great year for me, but every time I go, I leave.
46:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I leave like y'all.
46:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know that was there.
46:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to encourage men to do that because it starts with us.
46:09
[SPEAKER_00]: We are in the mirror.
46:09
[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
46:10
[SPEAKER_00]: So all the links are being side of the description.
46:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Yo.
46:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks.
46:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
46:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
46:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't a bad interview.
46:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
46:14
[SPEAKER_00]: It was nervous.
46:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:16
[SPEAKER_04]: I love it.
46:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:18
[SPEAKER_04]: I love it.
46:18
[SPEAKER_04]: I love it.
46:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
46:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
46:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I know you're audience, I know you're audience.
46:26
[SPEAKER_00]: My audience is a great audience, and the men are good, and we all just want to get better financially, but we also know marriage is important to the Black family.
46:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
46:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And if we are not on one accord, as a matter of how much money we have, honestly, when I want to accord, you spent 46,000 divorces expensive.
46:45
[SPEAKER_02]: It is very expensive and thank God I was able to get out of it keep going keep no debt Everything and that's not the case for majority of yeah, specifically ladies yeah getting out Actually meant to uh, that's meant to be in Japan.
46:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I like to get out But sometimes it is or so it is where it's yeah, we'll see you on our next show peace up