Latest / Divas That Care Network / Choose With Purpose

Transcript

Choose With Purpose · Divas That Care Network

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's Divas That Care Radio, stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is a global movement for women, by women, engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: To find out more about the movement, visit DivasThatCare.com after the show.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right now though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: A strong, positive sense of self-esteem is your first step to anything you wish to accomplish.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Too often, we attempt to leave our comfort zone.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: We have that chorus of inner critics inside our heads, the itty-bitty shitty committee, as I like to call mine, whispering self-sabotaging doubt and untrue trash talk in our ear.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Confidence in Bloom celebrates women who rise above and move beyond any self-doubt and old, outmoded limiting beliefs.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Women who have reconnected with who they truly are, that gorgeous, talented, fabulous gift to the world who deserve recognition and unconditional love.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: My hope is their insights inspire all of you to do the same.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know the most beautiful thing any woman can wear is confidence.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Here with the Divas That Care Network, I, Tina Spolartini, speak with women now secure in their own self-confidence so we can learn from their stories of how they found themselves and became the magnificent role models they are to us all now.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Today I'm chatting with Becky Plops.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Becky is all things empowerment, connection, and being a champion for women who lead their lives with purpose and intention to make a larger impact in their family, community, and the world.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: She is an international photographer, public speaker, and host of the Choose on Purpose podcast.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: She is here to be a catalyst for change through building your confidence in who you are and what you are here to create for generations to come.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome, Becky.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, Tina.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me on the show today.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank you for joining me.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: I know this is going to be a great conversation.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to start with being a photographer.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we all know what a photographer is, but what is your main interest in photography?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so everything that I'm about is confidence.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I love confidence.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: I love your intro.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: I've always just, ever since I've learned more about you and what you're all about, I'm like, yes, we are so connected.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: And my photography specifically is really about empowering women to love the skin that they're in.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I call it breakthrough boudoir photography.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, really it's, It's transitioning to really, I call it hype photography, which is to highlight your present experience because we're constantly building our confidence in who we are and the way that we see ourselves because we're always growing, right?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: We're always evolving and becoming another level of ourselves.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: And my photography is really to capture the essence of who you are and really support you in seeing that beauty right now versus 20 pounds from now or when you have someone or a purpose to give photos to.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's really about celebrating the woman that you are through a lens and seeing yourself in a new light.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: I absolutely love that.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Although I do think, you know, since we spoke last time, I have been, you know, imagining myself in front of a camera, you know, in like a boudoir setting.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll be honest, I don't feel confident.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: How do you walk women through that?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because, I mean, I can't be alone there, right?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: I can't be the only woman there.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: that stands in front of a camera, I mean, not that I have ever, but if I wanted to, how do you walk a woman into her confidence?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that this is what you've been kind of thinking about and where you want to go because with my photography experience, it isn't just having a woman come into the studio, take their photo, they're out the door.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: It is a full experience.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I personally have set up a process of doing mindset sessions one-on-one with my clients leading up to the photo shoot.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: So there's at least three mindset sessions where we're digging into where she's at in her life, what kinds of things that she's celebrating or having hard times about.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's really about the good, the hard, the ugly, and really those in-between moments that we're learning about ourselves that we kind of dig into so that, one, we're building trust with the person who is documenting everything the body, the person, the essence of that woman, right?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's a trust that happens so that you can relax into your confident self by, you know, being more authentically who you are, regardless if there's a camera on you or not.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I start by having those sessions with my clients to really break through the mindset of, you know, whatever is holding them back from being seeing themselves as that powerful, impactful woman that they are.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I would think that any woman who is even thinking about setting up an appointment with you to take a boudoir session, they already have a pretty high confidence level in themselves.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I would think that that coaching session would be not as difficult as I'm expecting.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you came to me and said, okay, Tina, I'm here to take a boudoir session with you, I'd be like, no, you're not, right?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: But if I'm coming to you and I'm saying, let's do this, right, I already have, you know, like a confidence that is, you know, set up for a session like that, right?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm sure there's women who, you know, they put on the fancy little bit of clothing and they're like, yeah, maybe I'm not so comfortable like this.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: So how do you, like, I mean, I would think, right, if I'm calling you and I'm saying let's do this, I'm already comfortable.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: Are there many women that sort of change their mind when they actually get into the room to do the session?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, no.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, no.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's never changing the mind.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Really, you know, what it is is everyone has the doubt of, you know, am I going to look good?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Am I going to...
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: like my expressions or those things.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I coach my clients through the day and help them.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Again, it's about them feeling confident in their body.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't do the same poses of every person.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's about that person's body, that person's comfort level, what they're wearing.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's all of it.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it's never convincing.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's really just helping them really settle into why are they saying yes to it?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not convincing them to say yes to themselves.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just opening it up for them to really have the ability to give themselves the opportunity to see themselves differently, more feminine, more powerful, more vulnerable even, right?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like you said, depending on the level that they want to be seen.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's a huge dynamic and I think it really is to each his own, you know, like what that looks like.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: And that's part of what I love about what I do is that I meet you where you're at.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: And if someone's not open to it, then, I mean, I'm not really having a conversation with them because, again, I'm not working to convince anyone that they need to do it.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's really a coming to themselves to say, okay, I'm just going to have enough courage to open up for myself to have an opportunity to see what's here for me.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe that when they have that inkling that it's possible for them, that then I get to hold space for them to grow into that confidence to get there, right?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: To be okay with even on the day, having the nervousness.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's absolutely normal.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: I've had my own photos taken, and I still had nerves on the day of as the person behind, like on the other side of the lens.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's just totally natural.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because you're exposing what isn't usually exposed, right?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I might feel good in my skin and tell it's just my skin being exposed, right?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's a...
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: level of vulnerability there that we don't know what we're going to feel like until we are there.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: I can put on the worst outfit and still feel like a million bucks, but as soon as you tell me, take the outfit off and tell me how you feel then, I'm going to be like, well, maybe not so, maybe a dollar.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like maybe a dollar.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe not that low.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because my thing is You know, if you're wearing something that you love, you're going to feel good in it, right?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: But if you don't have anything on, we're talking a different scenario here.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and, you know, what it is is that I help women really get to the mindset that it doesn't matter what you're wearing, that it is about that internal feeling versus the external feeling of what you see in the mirror and for what outfit you're wearing, it really is, you know, inside of you to say, I could wear anything and love myself, right?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: And love this body, honor this vessel, you know, that I am with, that is with me every single day, that gives me the ability to Go for a hike.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: I love hiking.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: I love the accomplishment, getting to the top.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things is I've taken my daughter, who's currently a tween, and she's kind of complaining on the way up about her body being tired and stuff.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: I work on the reframe of like, isn't it great how powerful our legs are to move us up this hill right now?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, isn't it amazing to feel our blood pumping through our veins and feel alive?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: And these are just examples of really how I help you to really see and hear the programs that we move through in our day that we don't even realize bring us down about our bodies.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: And it really is this elevate the way that we think about ourselves so that we can see ourselves in a new way.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't about the outfits.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: Women could wear whatever they want for photo shoots.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be lingerie or illusion of nude or any of that.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: It can be whatever they are comfortable in.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: But what I really work towards in the experience of my clients is really just that internal self-love to say, yeah, I will love this body where it's at today because we don't feel the same every single day about our bodies.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, isn't that the truth?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: Especially women, like we go through so many changes throughout our lives that you can't, right?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like if your body is hurting for no reason, I mean, how do you love that, right?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: How do you love something that just starts hurting you?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: or, you know, going through these changes.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just making myself some notes.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: I loved how you said it's about the internal self-love.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because, I mean, that's what this conversation is truly about, right?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: This is about how much do I really love myself, right?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to let the world know how much I love myself, but this is for me.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: Do you find that your clients that are taking these photos with you, they're doing it for themselves or they're doing it for others?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: Most likely their spouse or their partner.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I definitely have a mix, right?
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: But the...
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: The reasoning, right, for them to finally say yes or to move forward with it varies.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, their reasoning varies, and I am always the person to bring it back to themselves.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it is about connection to self.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: And when you have someone to gift them to for an anniversary or a birthday present, right, like a gift gift, okay great that is bonus and that's always the way that I talk to my clients even if you call me to say oh my husband has a birthday coming up and you know he's kind of hinted that this would be super fun you know for him and I just you know I thought okay what the heck I'll do it for him and I'm like that's great and it's always going to be about you first so even from the get go my conversation is always about the woman and loving herself and if In fact, their purpose for making the call is to give it as a gift.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: I always bring it back to themselves because if something happens to that relationship, they're still going to walk away with the value of how she loved herself by saying yes, no matter if it was intentionally for a gift for someone else.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's first and foremost for you to see yourself in a new way and And you take that beyond the day of the photo shoot, beyond having that physical product of, you know, seeing the images.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: It carries on with you.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: It is a boost of confidence that is built on.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I would think, and only really you can answer this, if a woman is doing it for the wrong reasons, you can see it.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean...
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't say wrong reasons, right?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: I would say that it's for, and I think that a lot of the times what I can see is that that's their quote unquote excuse to invest in themselves.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: We need a reason.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: sometimes to write, especially if it's a mom, right?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: If it's a mom who's like, I have kids to feed and, you know, we have all of these commitments to do.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like to take a day because it is a day.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's a full experience.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: So not only do we do mindset work leading up to the day of the photo shoot, the actual photo shoot day with me is an experience.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: You're basically clean for the day, okay?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: You get your hair and makeup done.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: We do the photo shoot.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: We have a a wardrobe consultation where you get to try on fun outfits that you would never go and buy for yourself just because you can.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's here.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's available.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like a dress-up opportunity to see what you want to lean into and just experience.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: And guess what?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to pick those photos if you don't love them.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: And then I have my clients go get pampered with a massage afterward to celebrate their courageous act of doing this for themselves and go and relax.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then they come back for a same-day reveal because...
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I hated waiting for my own photos from getting my pictures taken, and I never wanted anybody to feel that anxious like I even was.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: So it was really important for me to have that full experience to move from figuring out what you really want to feel and look like in the photos and document where you're at with your body and your self-love, and then moving you know, see it full circle all in the same day.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: That was a really important piece of the way that my studio is unique is that full day about you.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that sounds so wonderful.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm feeling, I actually feel a little empowered right now.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Just imagining, you know, being queen for a day, you know, like, you know, getting my hair done and someone's doing my makeup and, you know, and then you're, you know, talking to me like I'm like the most beautiful thing in the world, right?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: I can just imagine like how these women must feel so enlightened.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they just, you know, like their golden light is shining, I'm sure.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: Then they get to go for a massage and come back to you like, yeah, who wouldn't want that?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: That just sounds so like, I don't, it just makes me feel so in love with the idea.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: I would still not do it because I'm not sure I'm really that comfortable, but I do love the idea.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen, you know, some women are very open and they share their photos on Instagram.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I look at these pictures and I think, wow, like, They really are beautiful, right?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, every woman is beautiful, no matter what she really looks like.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Her eyes, like, they tell a story, right?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: The way she holds her body tells a story.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, as a photographer, you know that.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need to tell you that.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: But you must see so many personalities behind that lens and be able to, like, let that shine.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I...
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: I've only been really seeing this– the elevated confidence that you might think that these women, when you see the photos that they have, right, you think, oh, my gosh, they're so confident.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: Look at them flaunting what they got.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: And you can see the confidence on their face.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: I can speak for myself and my clients that it is still work through.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: Literally, I've only had one client come through my studio that I very vividly remember.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: This woman, confident to the core.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, she was, you know, ready for her photos.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: She was ready to just take her clothes off and confident, which is normal for me to, like, not, you know, it's okay.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's a body.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: This is what I do.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a level that my clients do build trust with me and comfort.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: And, like, this one was just very confident about her body, and it took me back.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, this is very different than what I'm used to, and that's okay.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: But there's definitely a different level for every woman, like how fast and comfortable they are with their own body or with being around someone that, you know.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: I help my clients get in these outfits.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's a reason that women don't wear lingerie every day.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: It is a team sport, okay?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of buttons and clasps.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: It is a team thing.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: There's a level of true vulnerability and trust that happens.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: It definitely runs the gamut of how comfortable my clients have been and speaking to the being willing to share them.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: In my studio, it's kept private unless my clients say that it's okay to share them.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: And You know, I blog and I now have added in helping my clients share their story.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: So my podcast is another level of helping women not only be seen, but now I've been incorporating, you know, giving my clients the ability to share more about their story and why they said yes to themselves to elevate their confidence, right, through this whole experience, which is a way that I'm helping women more women like what we're doing right now to just understand that it isn't about sexy pictures, right?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't about that.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: For me, I mean, there is definitely photographers that that's what they're doing.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: They're just helping you have sexy pictures.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's great for them.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's not what I do.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: I am about that empowerment, the breakthrough boudoir experience being about taking this more than just through photos.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: It is something to...
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: really build on the foundation of having women step into their power.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so when you do your coaching, because now, so the, I mean, the photography part of your business is kind of separate because if you're doing like the coaching part before, you have to go deep, right?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: You have to go to where the woman is working.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: willing to let that go, release whatever is holding her back in her everyday life.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: What kinds of things do you work through in your coaching?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I know you said mindset, but how do you walk women through a path of, you know, feeling confident and, you know, now feeling empowered?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so some of the times it's really about rediscovering themselves right it's sometimes they they're going through a transition so you know another aspect of reasoning that um clients have came to me is they're celebrating something there's a milestone for them in their life whether that's surviving cancer or you know graduating from college or some kind of a milestone right in their life becoming a new mom or whatever that might be for them.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: There's different ways of these transitions coming up in life that it's really about helping them rediscover what lights them up, what they're passionate about in their life, and what limiting beliefs might be coming up for them around being able to say yes to those things.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of the time I find that when we're holding ourselves back in one area, it's also affecting the other things.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: So it could be about a job.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: It could be about a relationship.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it really is a custom curated experience for each woman to have that breakthrough of her own.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: There really is no, it's this, right?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: I just love that.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm all about, you know, building women up and allowing them to be empowered and to love themselves for who they are right here, right now.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like you get to see this, like you get to see that, you know, that that aha moment when they get to realize like, wow, I am cool.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like I am awesome.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: I really can love who I am.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then you get to show that off through your camera.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is so, like you're blessed to be able to have that, the ability to do that.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: And the talent.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, they might not be feeling it exactly the way you're seeing it.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so with the camera, you can, you know, really allow them to embrace what that means to them.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: I am grateful and very honored when, I mean, especially the, I mean, just something that really set out to me is, you know, that's where the breakthrough part really came through, right?
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: This hasn't been this full experience before.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and adding in the podcast and all of these different, the mindset sessions, that wasn't always how this business has been ran.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this is a becoming of who I am.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I love at the beginning of your show how you highlight the fact that you're talking to women that are, you know, in their confident space.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: And, like, this is my confident space to say, I've been a photographer for over a decade.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: I've been hearing the way that women think about themselves and, for enough time to understand that we all have these doubts and that the most important thing that we as women can do is champion other women to just see themselves in a kinder way, more loving way.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: I have heard nasty breakdown kind of things from drop-dead gorgeous women.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: And again, it's just a body.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter what your body looks like if you're telling yourself really shitty things about yourself that aren't true.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's so true.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I believe that we're all here to be beautiful and beautiful.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's in the eyes of the beholder, right?
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like what you think is beautiful, I may not, right?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: We are all beautiful in our own way.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I agree with that 100%.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I just love that.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: I want to talk about your hype a little bit.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know a little bit more.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: Now, when we spoke earlier, you said you do retreats, but that hype is all about like what you do with the camera, right?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's all like it's about you and the relationship you have with your client.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's not necessarily just for your retreats.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yes,
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: so the hype is an acronym for highlight your present experience.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: So it really is a holistic approach to the way that I'm being myself as Becky, as also a photographer, also a slight videographer.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't call myself a videographer, but I do video clips, right, for retreats, and I capture testimonials.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it's really about drawing out and really highlighting the heart of The vision of, right, like an experience or a retreat.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: But then also that's what I do with my clients individually.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's really drawing out that essence for them.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it's kind of a dual purpose.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: It is about giving my energy to them.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: my client, whether that is for an event that they're putting on and they're putting their heart and soul into, then I get to capture that through my lens and their perspective and be their paparazzi, so to say.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: But then also, it is really what I do one-on-one with my clients through those private sessions, through the photography experience, through the podcast sessions.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: It is all of it, and it's about highlighting you know, those pieces of you that you might hide sometimes, right, because you hold yourself back.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm really there to be a champion and bring that forward to just say, like, let's draw that to the focus.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: Let's bring it to the light and say, you know, is this really it?
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: Is this the message that you want to send to yourself?
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: Is this the way that you want to talk to yourself?
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: Is this the way that you want to be seen, you know?
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: And if it's not, we work on that.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: And if it is, then we amplify it, right?
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so that hype is really, it's all-encompassing.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's a play on words, but it really is more depth than just like I'm someone that brings hype to you.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's about all of it.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: I love that because it's more, I mean, we all know that when we take those pictures, there's more to it than just words.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: a naked body, right?
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you are able to pull the whole story in, right?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure like your stories show like vulnerability and that whole, I don't want to be here feeling of a woman, but then it also shows the growth between, I don't want to be here and look at me now.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think– so I don't know about the I don't want to be here part, but I do know– I love before and after pictures.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like this is something that I really keyed into as an experienced photographer that is just so fun to like grab a quick, you know, snapshot before we get the day started.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: So before going to get our hair and makeup done– and I also wanted to say something just really quick about that, that– I definitely have clients that are like I don't need to get my hair and makeup done.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: I really want more of a raw photo shoot of just like their authentic beauty.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: And they don't get their hair and makeup done.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone doesn't opt to get false lashes and full hair and makeup done for this photo shoot.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's just an added bonus to being queen for the day, okay?
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: So there is definitely people that opt out of that.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, yeah, that's not necessarily what I envisioned for capturing who I am to put on a full face of makeup.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's not my everyday life.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: But really, those are the women that I work with that are like, I'm here to just see the love for myself and my body.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: I think that was important to just highlight.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: There is, again, a variety of the way women might think about if they wanted to do this for a while, that they've thought those things through.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't just, This is what we do, and you don't have a say.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: It really is a curated experience for each woman.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I would say, yeah, because they know what they want when they're coming to you.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's beautiful.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, a lot of times.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: At least they have an idea.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: I definitely have worked with women that don't really know.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_01: They don't have an idea.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: And building out a vision board like on Pinterest is one of the ways that we've built collaboration to really help them have this dream photo shoot experience that even if they haven't dreamt of it or thought of it or entertained the idea for a long time, that it gets them excited in a way that's authentically highlighting them versus just saying, this is what my website looks like.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: Take that photo of me.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: I want to see me like that.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that at all.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: But that's what I was going to say is the before and after that I was highlighting is that's really powerful to take a snapshot at the beginning of the day And then at the end, I always take a selfie with my clients.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: I love being a part of their journey.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm honored to be a part of that awareness in helping them feel powerful in who they are.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I always love being able to capture before and after of them so that they can just see, like, the confidence, the, like you said earlier, like that glow, that golden glow about them, like that's a real thing.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: And they leave with that feeling, which is to me the most important part.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think so too.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think so too, because at the end of the day, it's about them and it's about how they love themselves.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: And when they love them, it's not like, you know, You have to love yourself unconditionally, right?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because you can't, you know, I don't love myself because, you know, my feet don't work properly or because, you know, or whatever, you know, whatever ailments we might have.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: We have to love ourselves for everything that we are and have because we're with ourselves like 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: There is nobody else that we spend as much time with than ourselves.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: If we can't love us for who we are, how can we love others?
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: If we don't love ourselves unconditionally, we are going to be putting conditions on love that we have for others too.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's just the way it is.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's definitely a dynamic.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: Helping women really lean into that self-love and doing that through boosting confidence is like i could do that all day every day that's
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_03: the best oh i believe you you
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: know just being in the essence of you know really helping master confidence and that was you know this is something that um tina this is something that my friends and family had said to me my whole life becky you're so bold you're so confident how do i get more of that and i had you No idea, zero clue what they even meant by that for the longest time.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, I dove into personal development and personal growth and really just started peeling back my own layers of like, but why do they say that?
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: What do they see?
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't understand, you know, what I'm saying or doing so differently than the other women in my life.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it really was about the internal conversations that I would have with myself and And the difference in what I found out that some of these women were saying about themselves, right, it really is an internal game.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it is about the mindset because it all starts with our thoughts.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: So the way that we speak to ourselves is the foundational piece that I love helping my clients get to because even if they appear to be the most confident, what I know to be true is that that's not always the case.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't actually what plays in their head.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that the truth?
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you get to see all that and you get to pull that all out for them.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: I just love it.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything you could tell our listeners if they have ever thought about having a boudoir session done or...
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: Even just a couple, like a couple, I've seen couples do, like now it's a big thing to have engagement photos and that kind of thing.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything you could tell our listeners if they're thinking about it, how to get past themselves and just do it?
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: I think that the biggest thing that I would encourage anyone to consider is, you know, why?
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_01: why would you entertain the idea of investing in seeing yourself in this very unique way, right?
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, because in reality, you could schedule a headshot session, right, and see yourself and get a confidence boost to say, ooh, you know, maybe you released some weight and you want to just have a photo shoot, any kind of photo shoot, right?
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: But why would a breakthrough boudoir experience be something that you would want to pick up the phone or send an email to say, I really think that this is for me?
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: Think about why.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: The story that you're playing in your head of why you can't is the first thing that we would talk about.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: If someone said, well, I can't do that, then why?
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, why did you even entertain the idea of it in the first place if you're saying that you can't do it?
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: I work on the mindset right away because, again, it goes back to what we're thinking about the experience.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it could be that, oh, I don't know how to make a sexy face.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's easy enough.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: I work with my clients about...
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: helping you ease into it.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not about one specific expression, which I'm saying that as an example because I hear that a lot from women is, you know, I don't know how to give a sexy look.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I encourage you to look at my photos and say like, did those women look like they had a sexy expression?
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of it's laughter.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of it's, you know, peering out, not even looking at the camera.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's just a variety of ways that I capture my clients that isn't one set way again so encouraging you to think about why would this and how I think is also another piece is like how would it change your life right and the way that you look at yourself even if you found three photos in a whole day that you were like dang dang That body has got me through so much.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: That scar means something different to me.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's strength.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's power.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's beauty.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: What would that mean for you to even just have the perspective shift about the way that you give gratitude to your body?
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: That could be the encouragement that someone needs to say, I'm ready to do something about this and see what it has for me.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: Look at the why and look at how you see that it could support you.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, my God, I love this.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: I want to sit and go through a coaching session with you just to see how you're going to dig all that stuff out of me.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I would ever do the photo.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be honest.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: When it's not about the confidence, I just don't.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: Where would I put it?
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why would I?
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't see the, you know.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I love the whole idea, you know.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, I've seen a few on Instagram, and I know there's, you know, not everybody puts them on Instagram.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_01: But when I see them, I think, wow, like, she's just so beautiful, right?
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: And, I mean, let's face it, sexy and beautiful, that's not always a sexual thing, right?
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: As a woman, like I'm a straight woman, I have, you know, I'm interested in men only.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: But when I see these beautiful women, you know, and it's not their body, it's the look on their face and the love that they're showing through their face, right?
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I think, wow, like...
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: that's a transformation, right?
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, some of these women, especially if it's women that I know, I'm like, that is so not the one I know, you know, but when I see that face, I'm like, oh, that's just, it just fills my heart, right?
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: To see that they can feel so in love with themselves.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I guess that's what it comes down to, right?
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: Knowing how much they love themselves makes you want to love them even more.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is a healthy perspective to have.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: I know that I've definitely encountered other women that don't see it that way.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: They think it's tacky.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: They have a very negative output on what the boudoir industry produces.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_01: And again, that's why I can only speak to what I do with my clients and the way that I approach having a breakthrough boudoir experience.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_01: But I think that...
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_01: You're right.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: There's such a beauty.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I love, and of course, that's why we're connecting, Tina, is that you understand, right?
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's this deeper part of what I do and how I help women that isn't about the sexy picture.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: And the fact that you can find those glorious points of, wow, you know, she has this look on her face that's just like, oh, you can feel that empowerment and that love that she has for herself and the image.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'll speak for myself.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's exactly why I do what I do so that other people can see.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: And thank God for those women that are brave enough to put those photos out because that's exactly what it's done for you is just to get to see women being confident in themselves.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I also just wanted to highlight something that really shifted for myself when someone told me that we can't see in someone else what we don't also have within us.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: So When you look at a gorgeous photo of a woman and you think, wow, that look, you know, that's empowering, that's confident, good for her, that's there for you too.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_01: You possess that ability to really hone in on who you are and the essence of who you are because of what you see in someone else, it's within you as well.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's so true.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it also goes for the negative side, right?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, the women that think it's tacky or, you know, what's the word, unimportant or unnecessary, that's because they don't want to see themselves in that position, right?
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: They don't see that in themselves, right?
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: They don't see that self-love there for themselves.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of the first things I learned.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, some kind of limiting belief that is holding them back, which again, it's just everyone in their own time or, you know, in their own journey.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why it's not for everyone.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's really for when people are ready, especially in the work that I do and the depth that I go with my clients.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: Again, that's why I don't work to convince people of anything.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really here holding space for the women that are ready to be seen and to be heard and to be celebrated for the impact that they make in their world and seeing themselves in this way that really amplifies the way that, you know, they show up in the world because it ripples out from one area to the other, that their confidence level increases.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_01: It raises, I mean, it goes out to every area of your life because you take yourself everywhere you go.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right, yeah, like you're with yourself no matter what you're doing, right?
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_03: you can't get away from yourself.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so, yeah, we have to learn how to love ourselves so that we can be alone with ourselves, right?
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, absolutely.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much for joining me today, Becky.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: This was great.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me, Tina.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_01: I love this.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_01: I've had conversations about, you know, being a boudoir photographer and all of that.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I love, like, having you drill into the questions of, like, okay, but how?
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like, tell me more about that.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_01: This is great.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to definitely be listening back to this to say, like, you know, these are really the things.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: This is how I respond to people asking me questions about what I do.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: And in the past, you know, I would be defensive, like, it's okay, you don't get it.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_01: But I think that this is beautiful.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_01: Your platform is amazing for helping women just really peel back those layers of confidence on the different stories that are shared here.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm honored to be here today to share, and I appreciate you so much.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Becky.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_01: Confidence in Bloom is a celebration of self-love, a confirmation that even though you may not look like a screen star or a supermodel, they don't even look like that.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: You are an amazing, desirable, brilliant, gorgeous, talented woman.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: We offer unconditional love to our partners, our children, our extended family, even our pets.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's high time we got out of our own way and learned to unconditionally love ourselves.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: InfoBloom Styling and Coaching offers an online program combined with one-on-one coaching in confidence building, personal branding, and creating your signature fashion look.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: Chic definitely does come in every shape, so if you want something to believe in, start with yourself.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to be a guest here on Confidence in Bloom, contact me through Instagram at InfoBloomStyling, by email, Tina at InfoBloomStyling.com, or through the Divas That Care website.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_00: This show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_00: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on DivasThatCare.com where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.