Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - I'll Give You 10-to-1 on Aunt Muriel
Transcript
- 0:00ladies and gentlemen i'd like to welcome you to very fun friends
- 0:20don't mind that owl hooting in the background he's just excited about bonus improv
- 0:32joe can we get a suggestion for our improv please
- 0:40mm-hmm
- 0:43oh that was like the beginning of jaws
- 0:45mm-hmm
- 0:46yeah
- 0:48mm-hmm
- 0:49mm-hmm
- 0:50your suggestion is jaws
- 0:55no i'm kidding
- 0:56your suggestion is weddings
- 0:58weddings
- 1:00weddings
- 1:01either
- 1:04with d's or with t's take it how you will
- 1:06okay
- 1:07weddings
- 1:08I'm up
- 1:12I think weddings are
- 1:20exhausting
- 1:21yeah I have a rule and I sometimes break it
- 1:26it's like people I really like invite me but I usually I'm like I don't want to go to any
- 1:29yeah don't invite me
- 1:31but I'm sorry I'm like I'm sorry I didn't go to weddings and then someone who's like
- 1:36a really good friend is like i'd love you if you come to my wedding i'm like what am i gonna say
- 1:40no yeah i know i would have made you come to mine i would have loved to come thank you i appreciate
- 1:47it and i was i would have closed it out it was it was fun i think i closed it out actually
- 1:52i was having so much fun i i stayed till the very end it was fun it was a fun party
- 1:57what was your dance to um uh dancing cheek to cheek heaven i'm in heaven and my heart beats
- 2:10no not not Tony Bennett an older version um Anthony Bennett yeah senior living la vida loca
- 2:20oh that's sweet yeah what was your favorite part of your wedding
- 2:24um i don't know it was a it was a just like a fun party i don't know i was nice like i didn't
- 2:37i don't i don't know i guess dancing and having fun i think it's drinking i don't know i think
- 2:44it's nice that for like an event like that you get to guarantee that there's no one there that
- 2:50you don't want to see.
- 2:52You do, but they're inevitably...
- 2:54You could theoretically
- 2:56cut people out that you don't want to see.
- 3:00But then
- 3:00you're going to have a lot of headache on your
- 3:02hands. Oh, like family?
- 3:04You didn't invite me.
- 3:06I thought you were dead.
- 3:08Oh no I thought you were dead I went to a funeral I don know whose funeral that was I cried and cried Oh that interesting Yeah It worth it though Yeah When it yours you don It not It more annoying for your guests that don want to talk to that one guest that you had
- 3:23to invite.
- 3:24Yeah.
- 3:25How many people were there?
- 3:3080, maybe 100.
- 3:32I don't know.
- 3:33I don't remember.
- 3:33A lot of gifts, huh?
- 3:35I don't remember.
- 3:37Oh my God.
- 3:37The last wedding I went to, I forgot to bring a gift.
- 3:40it's okay you you have a year to give a gift so if you don't i mean not that you need to get one
- 3:45now i'm saying like over a year i think well yeah but i mean like that's that's that's a rule so
- 3:50like no one was like i'm sure no one was like francis didn't bring a gift what was that all
- 3:54about that's so not also like so many people send gifts like just directly from the registry to
- 4:01wherever they're going that it's like not showing up with a gift is not a big deal
- 4:05I wouldn't worry about it.
- 4:07I feel a lot better.
- 4:08Good.
- 4:08Yeah.
- 4:09So you just have to hope they didn't realize a year later that you didn't send them anything.
- 4:13Yeah.
- 4:13They got other things going on.
- 4:14Don't dwell on that.
- 4:15Yeah.
- 4:18And now, improv.
- 4:27Hey, so pretty, pretty fun wedding.
- 4:32Oh, hi.
- 4:33Hi.
- 4:33I'm the bride's uncle.
- 4:36Bride's uncle.
- 4:37Oh.
- 4:38Steven.
- 4:39Steven, I've heard so much about you.
- 4:41Yeah.
- 4:42Oh, really?
- 4:43That's weird.
- 4:44Yeah.
- 4:45Juliet, like, I haven't.
- 4:47I've seen her maybe once in my life.
- 4:51I really, I was, you know.
- 4:54Yeah.
- 4:55I'm family, but, you know, I don't really know Juliet that much.
- 4:58But anyway.
- 5:00Oh, that's what she told me.
- 5:01Oh, okay.
- 5:02Yeah.
- 5:02that tracks that tracks i uh i gotta i'm looking around this wedding i gotta wonder
- 5:07who do you think uh every wedding has that one person that the bride and the groom didn't really
- 5:17want there who do you think that is who do you think that is i'm i'm placing bets i'm placing
- 5:25bets oh i don't know i'm i'm really just here to have a good time and and oh yeah me too me too
- 5:33me too i'm here to have a good time maybe make a little money on my bets what yeah yeah i'm making
- 5:39some bets oh why if you want to get in on that action i don't know hey hey hey i don't know you
- 5:46can't you could you could take the man out of vegas but you can't take the vegas out of the man
- 5:51I'm not legally allowed in Vegas anymore.
- 5:53Oh, Uncle Steven.
- 5:55Yeah, yeah.
- 5:56Okay, yeah, I heard that too.
- 5:58Yeah.
- 5:59Anyway, so who do you think it is?
- 6:02Who do you think is the one that's like the embarrassment?
- 6:05The one that they don't want here?
- 6:07I really don't know.
- 6:09Hey, I'll give you 10 to 1 on Aunt Muriel.
- 6:13Okay, I'm not much of a gambler.
- 6:16And I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
- 6:18Oh, hey, hey.
- 6:19But I think it's you.
- 6:20What?
- 6:20No.
- 6:21Yep.
- 6:22If I had to bet, I would say it's you.
- 6:24What?
- 6:24No I not even on my list of potentials You are now because that who I betting Oh no no no All right I putting my name
- 6:36All right, you want to lose your money.
- 6:38Here's $10.
- 6:39You want to lose $10?
- 6:40Here's $10.
- 6:40Great, I will take your $10.
- 6:41Hey, I stuffed it in my bra.
- 6:43I knew I was going to have to use it.
- 6:45Hey, I will take it.
- 6:48I will take that sweaty $10.
- 6:50Good, okay.
- 6:52What's wrong with your boobs?
- 6:54Why are they sweating so much?
- 6:55Nothing's wrong with my boobs.
- 6:57They're humidifying as per normal.
- 6:59This $10 bill is soaking wet.
- 7:01Yeah, I've been dancing.
- 7:03All right, well, maybe I'm going to put you down as one of the old sweaty boobs.
- 7:08Well.
- 7:09Sorry, I didn't get your real name.
- 7:10Christine.
- 7:11Christine, okay.
- 7:13Well, all right, now you and I are both on the list, I guess.
- 7:16Yeah, well, I just feel compelled to tell you that I've seen them both a lot.
- 7:21We're very good friends.
- 7:23So there's a very low chance that it's me.
- 7:25Juliet and what's his face?
- 7:28Yeah.
- 7:29The guy with the big nose and the skin tag?
- 7:32Yeah.
- 7:33I'm calling him skin tag.
- 7:34Well, please don't.
- 7:36Yeah.
- 7:37He won't mind.
- 7:38I do it in a fun way.
- 7:39I do it in a way that's fun.
- 7:41That's why people like me.
- 7:43That's why people like me.
- 7:44Except people in Vegas, which I am not legally allowed back in.
- 7:47I know, that's tough.
- 7:48They actually invited you?
- 7:49You have like an invitation?
- 7:50Can I see it?
- 7:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 7:52Here you go.
- 7:54It's an actual invitation.
- 7:57Oh, that's...
- 7:58That's...
- 8:00That does not say Stephen on it, though.
- 8:03It says,
- 8:05my favorite uncle.
- 8:08Okay.
- 8:10Do they know you're here?
- 8:12I'm assuming it was me.
- 8:15Look.
- 8:15My gift?
- 8:16My brother...
- 8:18My brother, he doesn't know I do this.
- 8:22But I kind of live in my Pinto around the corner from his house.
- 8:30And I go through his mail just to see if there's anything in there that maybe he doesn't need but I could use.
- 8:39And then I saw this come in and it was addressed to my favorite uncle and I assumed that meant me and not Derek.
- 8:48Who would like Derek best?
- 8:51He's a dentist.
- 8:52he's been married to the same woman for 37 years how boring i've had six different lives
- 9:02oh yeah oh my god here here he comes here he comes right now oh skin tag don't say that
- 9:08skin tag hey stop it hey skin tag hey skin tag oh my god look what you made me do
- 9:14hey see it's fun right it's not fun nickname i'm so scary skin tech oh my god
- 9:20It's happening again, man.
- 9:24My boobs are sweating.
- 9:25Christine, just lean into it.
- 9:27I'm panicking.
- 9:29Hey.
- 9:29Mr. Skin Tag.
- 9:30Oh!
- 9:32Mr. and Mrs. Skin Tag now.
- 9:34Oh, my God.
- 9:36Am I red?
- 9:37Yeah, yeah.
- 9:38But also sweaty.
- 9:39People will assume it from the dancing so don worry about it Oh okay Look No you look What would you give me as a nickname if you had to What would I
- 9:50give you? Yeah, get over here.
- 9:53I'd give you
- 9:53Soaked Mammeries.
- 9:56Soaked Mammeries? Yeah.
- 9:57That's your nickname.
- 10:00What are you trying to say?
- 10:01Soaky Mams. Soaky Mams?
- 10:03Stop it. That you have so much boob sweat.
- 10:05You need to stop it right now.
- 10:07What? You know what they say about weddings, don't you?
- 10:10that they're a great place to make a little money on side bets.
- 10:14Yes, that's right.
- 10:18Oh my God, Steven.
- 10:20Oh my God, I didn't think this was going to happen.
- 10:22Oh my God.
- 10:24Oh, what is...
- 10:25We're not even at a Roy Rogers right now.
- 10:31Find my skin tags.
- 10:32You have skin tags?
- 10:33Everywhere.
- 10:34Christine I gotta tell you this is moving a little fast for me
- 10:40Oh really?
- 10:41Yeah
- 10:41I was just here to make a little money
- 10:45A few side bets
- 10:46You made it I gave you $10
- 10:47What's it gonna get me?
- 10:53Oh my god they're playing our song
- 10:54It's the Macarena
- 10:55We don't have a song
- 10:58Christine
- 10:58Christine
- 10:59I'm gonna unhook my bra just a little
- 11:03Wait, wait, hang on
- 11:05Oh my god
- 11:06Oh god, oh it's just like a
- 11:10Oh my god, it's like you were pregnant and your water broke
- 11:13There's just, you took your bra
- 11:15And there's water everywhere
- 11:16Maybe later I'll be pregnant for real
- 11:18Christine, this is a
- 11:21This is taking a weird turn
- 11:22It's a wedding
- 11:23Wait, hey, Julia, hey, Julia
- 11:26Hey, it's Uncle Stevie
- 11:28Get away from us
- 11:30Sorry about that
- 11:32I'm over 40 and single
- 11:34I just wanted to ask her about
- 11:37Who the black sheep at this wedding was
- 11:39Oh yeah we need to know
- 11:40Come here hold me
- 11:41Christine
- 11:41Hey the black sheep
- 11:43Juliet is it
- 11:46Oh I'm Christine
- 11:47I'm drunk
- 11:48Christine you sloppy bitch
- 11:51Why'd you call me over here
- 11:52Look at me and Steven
- 11:54Oh my god
- 11:56Your boob sweat is all over him
- 11:58You marked him as yours
- 11:59He wanted it
- 12:00Oh, Steve, you dirty dog.
- 12:02We need to settle a bet.
- 12:05Which one of us is the one that's not wanted here?
- 12:10Why are you going to get to just us?
- 12:13Okay.
- 12:14I wasn't going to reveal this, but clearly you guys have gotten serious,
- 12:18so I feel like I should tell you the truth.
- 12:20No.
- 12:21The person that we didn't ultimately want at this wedding
- 12:25is the love child that we know that you two are going to conceive tonight.
- 12:30You know what that means?
- 12:32We gotta go.
- 12:36No, Soaky Mams, no!
- 12:41Bye, Skintech.
- 12:43Scene.