Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / STOP Ignoring People Who NEED YOU! (S5) S44:E2 Sunday

Transcript

STOP Ignoring People Who NEED YOU! (S5) S44:E2 Sunday · Inspirations for Your Life

0:23
Well there, hello everyone, and welcome to the
0:25
ever-popular Inspirations for Your Life Show.
0:28
It is so great to be with you
0:29
today.
0:30
If this is your very first time joining
0:32
me, I'd like to take the opportunity to
0:34
say thank you, and of course I want
0:36
to say the words welcome, because you guys
0:38
are welcome here.
0:40
If you have been here one time, five
0:43
times, ten, a hundred, more, or maybe you
0:46
lost track of the count, I'd like to
0:47
say thank you and welcome, but I'd also
0:49
like to say the important words welcome back,
0:52
yes, welcome back.
0:53
So guys, if you're thirsty, if you're hungry,
0:55
if you feel free to grab something, I've
0:56
got an RO water here with fresh lemon,
1:01
and yeah, so feel free to get that
1:03
and come on back so we can kick
1:05
the show off.
1:06
Don't forget to check out BelieveMeAchieved.com, of
1:09
course, for more of my amazing, inspiring creations,
1:11
which you can do right after the show
1:12
is over, and that is on 24 hours
1:16
a day, but do watch the show first.
1:18
I think you're going to like today's show.
1:21
All right guys, without any further ado, let's
1:23
kick this show off.
1:24
So stop ignoring people who need you.
1:27
It's Series 5, Show 44, Episode 2.
1:31
It is Sunday.
1:32
Before we get into the show, I do
1:34
want to give a shout out to a
1:36
very special restaurant.
1:37
I've never been there before, but I was
1:39
there for the very first time just this
1:42
past week, and that is Fornos of Spain.
1:46
No, they're not in Spain.
1:47
They're actually in Newark, New Jersey, and I
1:52
got to tell you, I really had a
1:54
great experience there.
1:55
47 Furry Street, Newark, New Jersey, 973-589
1:59
-4767, fornos, F-O-R-N-O-S,
2:03
restaurant.com.
2:06
They're open pretty much Monday through Thursday, 1130
2:11
to 1030, Friday 12 to 11, and Saturday
2:14
12 to 11.
2:16
They're a nice restaurant.
2:18
They've got a private party room in the
2:21
back.
2:22
They've got free parking.
2:24
They've got an entrance to the front, but
2:25
they've also got an entrance to the back.
2:26
The reason I'm reaching out to them, the
2:28
food was really delicious there.
2:30
I was there for a private event, and
2:34
I got to tell you, the food was
2:35
really good.
2:36
The service was excellent.
2:38
At first, I thought it was just going
2:39
to be Spanish food.
2:39
They didn't serve Spanish rice, but it had
2:44
an American flair to it.
2:46
It was not all Spanish.
2:48
The food was very good, I have to
2:50
tell you that.
2:50
From what I ordered for dinner to dessert,
2:53
really, really good.
2:54
The reason I'm reaching out to them today
2:56
is I'd like them to check out jcacademy
2:59
.com and invite us to come to their
3:02
place to do a live broadcast of the
3:05
Inspirations of Your Life show.
3:06
Then, of course, I will do an author
3:07
talk.
3:10
I'll then do an author Q&A and
3:13
then an author signing, so definitely check that
3:16
out.
3:16
Again, they are located in Newark, New Jersey.
3:19
You can go in there without needing the
3:22
party room, but they just have a lot
3:24
of great stuff.
3:26
They have things like stuffed mushrooms, bacon slab
3:32
fornos, they have broiled Spanish sausage, they have
3:36
grilled octopus, they have bacon scallops, codfish filet,
3:41
shrimp fornos, clams, drunk mussels, spicy mussels, portobello
3:46
mushrooms, Spanish omelet tortilla, grilled squid, codfish tempura
3:52
with a garlic mayo, escargot, crab cakes, Spanish
3:57
meatballs, empanadas.
4:00
They have a chachouterie option as well.
4:03
Again, a nice little place.
4:07
Again, that was just the appetizers.
4:08
Just to show you what's on the menu
4:09
for lunch, they've got pescatore, which is shrimp
4:13
scallops, calamari, clams, mussels, fish tossed, and basil
4:19
marinara sauce over pasta.
4:22
Chicken fornos, scalloping of chicken breaded with sautéed
4:27
spinach and melted mozzarella.
4:30
Salmon fornos, grilled fresh Alaska salmon over spinach,
4:34
red onions, tomatoes, and balsamic dressing.
4:37
They've got salmon fornos, which is arborio rice,
4:44
shrimp, calamari, asparagus, spinach, and vegetables.
4:48
They've got pella veleciana, mussels, clams, calamari, shrimp,
4:55
scallops, chicken, orzo sauce, saffron rice.
4:59
They've got paella marinara, mussels, clams, calamari, shrimp,
5:04
scallops, saffron rice, paella del mar, shrimp, swordfish,
5:08
scallops, mussels, calamari, clams, saffron rice, a paella
5:12
diablo, shrimp, pork, chicken, orzo, jalapeno, chipotle, peppers,
5:18
saffron rice, paella rosalette, shrimp, clams, sea bass,
5:24
aioli, feos, saffron rice, pasta.
5:28
Actually, I mean, you can have rice or
5:29
pasta.
5:30
Paella di polo, chicken orzo, rosemary, saffron rice,
5:34
paella negra, shrimp, calamari, clams, mussels, crab meat,
5:39
calamari, rice.
5:42
You've got paella vegetarian, fresh vegetables, white beans,
5:46
mushrooms, artichokes, saffron rice, paella di gambas, shrimp,
5:50
prawn, red peppers, green peas, saffron rice.
5:55
They've also got paella fiego, saffron rice, octopus,
5:59
shrimp, calamari, mussels, clams, and sriracha.
6:04
Of course, they've got a whole bunch of
6:05
fish, whole bunch of meat, but I've given
6:06
you a lot.
6:07
Their menu is very extensive, and that's just
6:09
the lunch menu.
6:10
So definitely check them out.
6:12
All right, guys, let's get in the show.
6:13
So welcome, everyone, to the Ever Popular Inspirations
6:15
for Your Life show.
6:17
I'm John C.
6:18
Morley.
6:18
I am a serial entrepreneur.
6:20
I'm an engineer, marketing specialist, video producer, podcast
6:23
host, coach, a professional keynote speaker, a graduate
6:26
student at Montclair State University, a passionate lifelong
6:29
learner, and now so grateful to be a
6:31
published author.
6:32
So let me ask you something, everyone.
6:34
What if someone you see every day is
6:37
struggling, but you have absolutely no idea they
6:40
actually are?
6:41
What if they're smiling, working, and carrying on
6:44
with life while facing something incredibly difficult?
6:47
And what if one thought or conversation you
6:52
have could make their day just a little
6:54
bit easier?
6:55
That's what we're talking about today.
6:58
Welcome to the beginning of our powerful series.
7:01
This is actually day two.
7:03
Stop saying you care.
7:05
Start proving it.
7:06
Today is Sunday, and our theme is show
7:09
compassion, because compassion isn't simply something you feel.
7:14
It's something you demonstrate through attention, understanding, respect,
7:17
and meaningful action.
7:19
Let's explore 30 ways to become more compassionate
7:22
in everyday life.
7:24
Number one, recognize when someone around you may
7:27
be struggling silently.
7:28
People don't always announce their difficulties.
7:30
Pay attention without assuming you know what they're
7:33
experiencing.
7:34
Number two, stop assuming that everyone who looks
7:37
fine is doing fine.
7:39
A smile doesn't tell someone's entire story.
7:41
Approach others with consideration rather than quick judgments.
7:45
Number three, understand that compassion begins with paying
7:48
attention.
7:49
Before you can offer meaningful support, you must
7:53
be willing to notice the people around you.
7:56
That's important, guys.
7:58
Number four, recognize the difference between genuine concern
8:01
and just casual sympathy.
8:04
Feeling sorry for someone isn't the same as
8:07
listening, understanding, or even offering appropriate help.
8:10
Number five, stop overlooking people simply because their
8:14
struggles are unfamiliar to you.
8:16
You don't need identical experiences to treat someone
8:18
with dignity and care.
8:21
Number six, learn to listen without immediately offering
8:24
unwanted advice.
8:26
Sometimes people need to be heard before they're
8:29
ready to consider solutions.
8:32
Number seven, recognize when a small gesture can
8:36
make a meaningful difference.
8:37
A thoughtful message, a kind word, or even
8:41
a brief check-in may help someone feel
8:44
noticed.
8:46
Number eight, stop judging someone's circumstances before understanding
8:50
their story.
8:51
You rarely know every challenge another person is
8:55
facing at the moment.
8:56
Lead with curiosity and respect.
9:00
That's the key, guys.
9:01
Number nine, understand why dignity matters when offering
9:05
assistance.
9:06
Help should never become an excuse to embarrass,
9:09
control, or diminish someone else.
9:12
Number 10, guys, recognize the importance of noticing
9:15
people who feel excluded.
9:17
An invitation, introduction, or friendly conversation can help
9:21
create a more welcoming environment.
9:23
I think that's a key point, guys.
9:25
Number 11, stop assuming that helping someone always
9:29
requires money.
9:30
It doesn't.
9:31
Your time, attention, encouragement, and knowledge are important
9:37
and can be very valuable.
9:38
So number 12, learn to offer support without
9:42
making someone feel indebted.
9:45
Genuine kindness doesn't demand repayment or constant expressions
9:49
of gratitude.
9:51
Number 13, recognize when your own comfort is
9:54
preventing you from reaching out.
9:55
Sometimes we avoid difficult conversations because we're unsure
10:00
what to say.
10:01
A respectful question can be a good beginning,
10:05
okay?
10:06
Number 14, stop treating kindness as something reserved
10:10
for special occasions.
10:12
Compassion belongs in everyday conversations.
10:15
Decisions and interactions are very key.
10:20
15, understand that empathy does not require identical
10:24
experiences.
10:25
You can acknowledge someone's feelings without claiming to
10:31
know exactly what they're going through, just being
10:37
kind.
10:38
You know, being kind doesn't cost anything.
10:42
The question I have is why aren't more
10:44
people kind?
10:45
That's what I want to know.
10:47
16, recognize when someone needs encouragement.
10:51
Rather than criticism, consider whether your words will
10:54
help them move forward.
10:56
Or simply add unnecessary strain and pressures to
10:59
their life.
11:01
I think that's important for us to be
11:05
aware of.
11:07
17, stop allowing busy schedules to eliminate every
11:10
opportunity for compassion.
11:12
You may not have unlimited time, but even
11:15
a brief thoughtful interaction can matter.
11:17
Number 18, learn to ask thoughtful questions about
11:21
what someone actually needs.
11:23
Instead of assuming, try asking how you can
11:25
be helpful.
11:27
That's important, guys.
11:28
Number 19, recognize the value of respecting someone's
11:32
independence while helping offer support without taking over
11:37
decisions that belong to them.
11:40
Number 20, stop turning another person's hardship into
11:46
a story about yourself.
11:48
Keep the focus on their experience.
11:50
Instead of immediately redirecting the conversation, a lot
11:52
of people help others.
11:53
They're like, oh, well, you know, I went
11:55
through the same thing.
11:55
Don't put yourself into it.
11:57
You don't need to make yourself a limelight,
11:59
okay?
12:00
It's okay to share with them that you
12:02
went through it, but don't make it all
12:04
about you.
12:07
Number 21, guys, understand that compassion includes respecting
12:12
personal boundaries.
12:14
Someone may appreciate your concern while choosing not
12:18
to discuss private matters.
12:21
Perfectly okay.
12:22
Respect that choice.
12:24
Don't hold it against them or don't try
12:26
to belittle them or manipulate them to get
12:29
them to tell you more than what they
12:30
want to share.
12:32
That's not right.
12:34
Number 22, recognize when vulnerable people need additional
12:39
consideration.
12:40
Those facing difficult circumstances may need patience, accessibility,
12:45
and thoughtful communication.
12:47
Number 23, stop assuming that someone else will
12:50
always step forward.
12:52
If you notice a reasonable opportunity to help,
12:55
consider what action you can responsibly take.
12:59
That's important to know, guys.
13:01
Very, very important to know.
13:05
But again, this stuff does not happen overnight,
13:08
and I think that's a very important thing.
13:11
Number 24, learn to respond with patience.
13:14
When people communicate differently, not everyone expresses concerns
13:18
in the same way.
13:20
Give people room to explain themselves.
13:25
That's something that I think can take time
13:28
because people lots of time think it's about
13:31
one thing, but then really it's not.
13:33
See, it's not about you.
13:34
When you're helping others, it's not about you.
13:37
It's about them.
13:38
I think that's hard for a lot of
13:40
people to realize.
13:43
It is not about you.
13:46
It is about them.
13:50
So number 26, stop confusing public displays of
13:53
kindness with meaningful support.
13:55
Helping someone privately can be just as valuable
13:58
as any visible gesture.
14:02
People often think, well, you know, I've got
14:04
to let the world know that I'm doing
14:05
this.
14:06
Why?
14:08
Why does it have to be public?
14:10
Why can't it be private?
14:12
I mean, I think that's an important piece
14:14
that many people, like, they wrestle with.
14:18
Like, they got to be validated in front
14:21
of people.
14:21
Why?
14:22
Why does it have to happen, right?
14:24
Why?
14:26
I don't know.
14:28
Some people feel that's the only way.
14:30
Number 27, I want you to understand that
14:34
compassion requires both awareness and responsible action.
14:38
Notice a need is just the beginning.
14:43
Thoughtful follow-through gives you concern and that
14:47
meaning to carry forward.
14:49
It's not about doing something once and saying
14:52
goodbye.
14:53
It's about being a purposeful person, one that
14:57
cares about life, one that cares about what
14:59
is going on.
15:00
I think that's probably one of the most
15:02
important things that I can share with you.
15:04
But I know, depending on, you know, what
15:06
you're going on in your life, you're probably
15:07
saying to me, John, like, I don't understand
15:10
this.
15:11
And you don't have to have all the
15:13
answers on day one, guys.
15:14
You really don't.
15:17
But I think you just need to have
15:19
a genuine interest to want to help others.
15:23
And the thing is, you don't need to
15:26
be looking for what can I get back
15:28
in return?
15:31
What can I get back in return?
15:35
That's an important piece, guys.
15:38
Because like I said, it's not about you.
15:40
It's about the other person.
15:43
But if you make everything about you, then
15:46
you're really not helping that other person.
15:51
You're just trying to get a validation for
15:53
what you did.
15:53
Why do you even need to be thanked?
15:56
Number 28, identify just one person or a
16:01
group you may have been overlooking.
16:04
Consider who might appreciate encouragement, inclusion, or practical
16:09
assistance.
16:12
And again, I recommend doing this privately with
16:16
respect, care, and compassion.
16:18
Because when that happens, that's when you can
16:22
make big changes in your life.
16:25
When you have said, oh, you know, I've
16:27
got to make this a show.
16:29
I got to let everyone know what I'm
16:30
doing.
16:32
Why?
16:34
Because that's just how I am.
16:36
I mean, I need to get validation.
16:38
I need to get that pat on the
16:40
back.
16:44
I've met lots of different people.
16:46
I've met people that have egos, people that
16:48
have no egos.
16:50
I've met people that they appear to be
16:52
nice, but they're only being nice because of
16:55
the situation.
16:56
You can quickly tell that they're not about
17:01
you.
17:02
They're always about them.
17:03
So what's in it for them, I think,
17:05
is the most important thing that I can
17:08
tell you.
17:09
I'm just being honest with you.
17:12
Number 29, guys.
17:14
Choose one realistic way to demonstrate genuine consideration
17:17
today or tomorrow.
17:20
Make your action specific.
17:22
Make sure it's respectful and appropriate to the
17:25
situation.
17:26
When someone knows that it's coming from you
17:29
genuinely and there's no, let's say, catch or
17:34
string attached to it, they're going to be
17:37
more willing to accept it, right?
17:42
And a lot of people don't say, oh,
17:43
I'll be happy to do this for you
17:44
and do that for you.
17:45
But then they have their handout right away.
17:47
Not necessarily money, but they have their handout
17:49
like, well, what can you do to pay
17:51
me back?
17:52
Maybe it's time, right?
17:55
That's not the right way to approach people.
18:00
A lot of people do that.
18:03
They are known as, quote unquote, takers.
18:09
We need to give and take.
18:12
Not only take, guys.
18:14
That is a very important thing.
18:16
And sometimes people don't learn that lesson overnight.
18:18
They learn it through time.
18:21
They learn it because when they've done this
18:23
and it doesn't work, they're like, well, wait
18:25
a minute.
18:25
I think I need to change something, right?
18:32
That's important.
18:36
That's important, guys.
18:40
And hopefully it means something to you.
18:47
Hopefully that means something to where you're going,
18:50
right?
18:54
Maybe it's about something special.
18:57
Maybe it's about your own joy for life.
19:05
Maybe it's just about something you want to
19:09
do.
19:09
I'm gonna take an example here, okay?
19:13
And I'm not here to share that this
19:16
is a bad thing.
19:19
But I can tell you that there are
19:26
a lot of phony people, okay?
19:31
I'm gonna see if I can explain why
19:35
I mean this, okay?
19:38
Um, so one person I reached out to
19:42
a while back said to me, hey, this
19:46
is where we're going.
19:47
But then when I realized what happened, and
19:52
I realized that they had no interest, that
19:56
they were just trying to phony things up,
19:59
it changed my thoughts about that person, right?
20:09
And maybe you're saying to me, John, well,
20:10
maybe you're misinterpreting that.
20:13
I could be, okay?
20:16
I very well could be.
20:18
But if it's one way, then what happens,
20:26
right?
20:32
I've discovered a lot of people that say
20:37
they're gonna do one thing.
20:39
But then guess what?
20:42
They're really not.
20:45
They're really not.
20:50
And the thing is, most people don't
20:59
realize why others do that, right?
21:12
I think some people say they don't want
21:16
to be, let's say, praised.
21:20
But then other people say they don't wanna
21:22
be praised, but then they're still looking for
21:24
it, you know what I mean?
21:27
That's hard for a lot of people.
21:30
How can you genuinely demonstrate consideration for people?
21:34
How can you do it specifically with respect?
21:36
And number 30, guys, show compassion, because every
21:38
person deserves dignity and respect.
21:41
Kindness shouldn't depend on someone's popularity, status, or
21:45
ability to repay you when you ask somebody
21:49
to support you.
21:51
And they say, oh, yeah.
21:52
Then they say they're busy.
21:54
But then when they need something, they reach
21:56
out to you, and they expect you to
21:58
drop everything.
22:00
And then they get annoyed that you don't
22:01
wanna help.
22:04
Now, here's your Sunday challenge, everyone.
22:08
Identify one person who may need encouragement or
22:10
practical support in your life right now.
22:13
Reach out respectfully.
22:15
Ask how they're doing and what might be
22:19
helpful to them.
22:21
Listen carefully.
22:22
Then take one realistic action that demonstrates genuine
22:26
consideration.
22:27
Maybe you make a phone call.
22:30
Maybe you offer to help with a manageable
22:32
task.
22:34
Maybe you include someone who's been feeling a
22:37
little left out.
22:39
Whatever you choose, don't make it about the
22:44
recognition itself.
22:46
Make it about the selfless act of giving
22:51
and showing compassion.
22:53
That's something a lot of people miss.
22:55
And remember, helping someone doesn't mean you must
22:58
solve every problem right now, today.
23:01
Respect their independence.
23:04
Protect your boundaries.
23:05
And focus on what you can responsibly offer.
23:08
This is just the beginning of our weekly
23:11
journey, day two.
23:14
Today, we show compassion.
23:16
Tomorrow, Monday, we'll explore why kindness needs meaningful
23:19
action.
23:20
As the week continues, we'll examine fairness, respect,
23:25
resilience, leadership, and finally, living your values.
23:29
You see, guys, every lesson builds on the
23:32
one before it.
23:34
Because we become more aware of others.
23:38
We create opportunities to make thoughtful choices that
23:41
reflect what we believe in.
23:45
Now, I want to hear from all of
23:48
you.
23:49
What is one small act of kindness that
23:52
made a meaningful difference in your life?
23:56
You don't have to say who did it.
23:58
You can just say what they did.
24:02
You don't even have to be specific.
24:04
Maybe somebody gave you a card.
24:06
Maybe somebody brought you a cake.
24:08
Maybe somebody called on you, checked on you.
24:10
Maybe somebody invited you somewhere.
24:12
You don't have to be specific.
24:13
Share your experience in the comments.
24:17
Your story may help encourage someone else to
24:21
reach out.
24:25
And I think when we give and we're
24:29
compassionate and we help others, that's pretty powerful.
24:34
But if we're doing it looking for a
24:37
handout or looking for a pat on the
24:39
back, we've already got our place, right?
24:45
If today's message resonated with you, please like
24:49
the episode.
24:51
Please share it with someone who values compassion.
24:55
Remember to subscribe to Inspirations For Your Life
24:58
because, you see, every day I share a
25:02
little nugget of knowledge.
25:04
You can always go back to BelieveMeAchieved.com
25:07
24 hours a day, seven days a week.
25:10
Whether you're hiking, whether you're at the gym,
25:13
whether you're in the car, you can listen
25:15
to the show.
25:16
You don't have to watch it.
25:17
You can just listen to the audio.
25:20
Okay.
25:21
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John C.
25:25
Morley.
25:25
I'm a serial entrepreneur, an engineer, marketing specialist,
25:28
video producer, podcast host, professional keynote speaker, a
25:32
passionate lifelong learner, a graduate student at Montclair
25:35
State University, and so grateful now to be
25:38
a published author.
25:40
And I'm so grateful that you chose to
25:43
join me today.
25:44
Ladies and gentlemen, please remember this.
25:48
You don't have to change the entire world.
25:52
Nope.
25:53
To make a difference in someone's day.
25:57
I've said before, I don't need to affect
25:59
a million lives.
26:00
It's nice.
26:01
But if I just impacted one person's life
26:04
in this show, I will have made a
26:09
difference.
26:12
And that's what got me started on this
26:13
journey.
26:14
It'll be, basically, we'll be in our six
26:16
years.
26:17
So over five years ago, that's what got
26:19
me started on this journey.
26:20
I wanted to make a difference for people
26:23
every single day.
26:25
So remember, you don't have to change the
26:27
entire world to make a difference in someone's
26:29
day.
26:30
That's the most important thing.
26:33
What you do have to do is this.
26:36
By your choice only and no one else's,
26:39
you have to choose to simply recognize an
26:42
opportunity.
26:44
You can do that, right?
26:46
Recognize an opportunity right around you.
26:49
You don't have to go far.
26:50
Just recognize an opportunity around you.
26:54
Then, again, choose with your own free will
26:59
to respond thoughtfully and demonstrate genuine concern and
27:06
or compassion.
27:09
Stop saying you care.
27:13
So many people, I know whether they're religious
27:15
or not, and not to name anybody out,
27:18
they're phonies.
27:21
They say one thing, but then they actually
27:25
don't live up to the words that come
27:27
out of their mouth.
27:29
Do I want to call them two-faced?
27:31
No, I think I want to call them
27:33
misaligned with their preachings, right?
27:38
You simply have to recognize an opportunity, respond
27:40
thoughtfully, and demonstrate genuine concern.
27:43
Stop saying you care.
27:45
Start proving it now.
27:47
That's the real key.
27:50
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for
27:52
being here.
27:53
Please remember to stay driven, keep growing, and
27:56
ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to see you
27:57
on another episode real soon.
27:59
Now, this seems easy.
28:01
Take the choice and do it now.
28:03
Have a great one, everyone.
28:03
Be well.