Latest / That Mom / Building a More Peaceful Motherhood Through Small Daily Rituals
Transcript
- Maria Woods: Mm-hmm. Welcome back to That Mom. Today I'm talking to a holistic health expert, Dorinda. She has 38 years of experience. She talks about her own journey in motherhood and balancing career, and she empowers women to find joy and to feel their best. Dorinda was such a pleasure to talk to, and she has lots of insights to help mothers thrive. Welcome Durinda to That Mom. Amazing. Thank you for the invite. I'm very delighted to be here. Excellent. So I'll have you just introduce yourself briefly to the audience and then we can jump in because I'm so excited to hear what you have to say and have our audience learn from you today. ⁓ good. Good. So my name is Dorinda and I've been in the holistic health business for a very long time now. I think it's been about thirty-eight years in one form or another. And my desire in my business has always been to get to the root cause of things and and to really ratchet down to see how you get to the root cause because I feel like that's where you would make the most difference. But it's been a journey for me. And I have to say that even my prof I chose my profession as a way to build it around being a mom and a mother and being able to be ⁓ to be able to put my family first. And I've always had a heart for motherhood. It's really funny because I feel like I stumbled into motherhood as a young mother with zero experience about having children or babysitting or anything like that. And so I'm delighted to be here because I have such a heart for moms and they're all in such different places today. But I do feel like it's ⁓ it can be a very challenging time to raise children today. And I think that Moms are amazing and doing an amazing job. And anything I can do to encourage, I would ⁓ I'm all about you. That's really nice to hear. so glad that you're here. And I think I love that you have a holistic approach because you know, I've gotten to know a little bit about what you do, and it's not just one thing. You kind of try to think of all the different aspects that affect well being. ⁓ So I'd love to just hear a little bit about your philosophy and you know what what kind of people do you work with? What types of ⁓ challenges are they facing and kind of how do you think about the challenges maybe on like a big picture? Okay. I like that because it it it seems that I have a couple of branches of the work that I do. And over the years, when you've been in this business for as long as I have, you tend to learn different modalities because there's so many ⁓ You'll start working in one area. Like for instance, I started off working, I left corporate America and because I was ⁓ at that time didn't have the ability, I was a single mom, and didn't have the ability to really shift work hours. So I left corporate America and went into the wellness business as a way to have more flexibility. And I started off doing massage therapy and very quickly discovered another type of work called Jenshenjutsu, which is a type of energy work similar to acupressure and acupuncture. You're working on the energy systems in the body. And what I found is that when I could balance out those energy systems in the body, that my clients were experiencing a much higher level of wellness and well being and and even healing. Because our bodies are wired to heal themselves when we give it what it wants. And and then a natural lead off of that is I discovered holistic health coaching. ⁓ I realized also that I could do work with people and they would feel so much better and you know, like really their energy levels were up, their wellness was up, but if they didn't make the diet and the lifestyle changes, then it was very easy for them to fall back into the same ruts. And I'd heard a number ⁓ years and years ago that just astounded me. And I think it's probably the same if not higher, which was that like eighty-five percent of the leading causes of death were diet and lifestyle related. So I always knew that if I could help people work with their diet, work with their lifestyle, that it was going to improve the ability, you know, like their quality of life. And and when people feel better, to be quite honest, Maria, it's like there's so much more available. For relationships, for their children, for their work, for their friends. And so it creates a really beautiful ripple effect ⁓ in their world. And if we can make enough ripple effects, then we make a pretty big impact in the world. Yeah, I think you're right. And I think all roads I found of kind of working on yourself or me working on myself also lead back to nutrition and just diet and exercise taking care of your body because. It's hard to have a clear mind or to have clear priorities or to have your energy or your happiness where you want it if you're not taking care of, you know, some what I would call kind of health basics, but you just kind of get a new appreciation for those things. I think if you're doing any kind of work on yourself or you're trying to optimize your yourself or your life in any way. I absolutely agree. And ⁓ I would add on top of that though, the one thing that I find also with my clients is that from doing the Jin Shin Jitsu for years, and one of the things that we would look at in Jin Shin Jitsu is emotional, like what we would call attitudes, which are the big, you know, like worry, fear, anger, ⁓ sadness, and ⁓ perfectionism, trying putting too much effort into life. And and one of the things that I discovered in ⁓ doing all the work I did in Jin Shinjutsu is that those attitudes, we all have those as emotions. That's totally normal. But sometimes we get stuck in them. Like we get stuck in this long season of being like of grief or of anger. And so I found that food is really important. Exercise we're we're meant to move is very important. But also monitoring our well being emotionally and spiritually is such a key Yeah. Talk to me about these emotions or energies and kind of how you think about them. As you're we're reading them off personally, I I'm really upbeat in general. I try not to harbor in negative emotions, but you also brought up ⁓ perfectionism, which you know, now that I'm thinking about it and I'm put on the spot, I probably beat up myself a little bit trying to be a perfectionist or do things perfectly. And I would wager that maybe I'm not alone as a mom or a woman out there. A lot of us might be, you know, have those tendencies, but tell me a little bit about these main emotions or energies and how do they impact us and what can we maybe do better or understand more? I would love to. so for for one thing, It's I'm pausing here for just a moment because I want to say this in a way that people can really understand it. And that's that our emotions, we all have those emotions. They're normal. They're just a part of life. We've got ups and downs. We're gonna be sad. We're gonna be angry. We're gonna all of those happen. So but sometimes ⁓ and it we just can't shake an emotion. And then it becomes almost like a habit. And almost all of us can remember going into you know, like meeting up with somebody and they just seem gnarly or upset and you can say to ⁓ it's like, What are you angry about? And they'll say, I'm not angry, you know, but it's but it's like you can tell it's like it's become so much almost like the background of their emotions that they're sometimes we're not even aware of it. Yeah. And so in Jin Shinjutsu what we found and it's interesting because I started doing this like thirty eight years ago. And at that time it was kind of woo-woo. As a matter of fact, I remember my kids at the time were my I had I had four kids. My daughter was like, Mom, don't tell anybody what you do. Boys were like all over it. But but now there's a lot of research out there that links different emotions to different diseases. And in Jin Shinjutsu, what we would see is that like anger or really deep grief really affects liver gobbled. you know, that when fear and it and and again it's like we've just come through a season of, you know, intense fear all over the country, that like liver, ⁓ I'm sorry, kidney and ⁓ bladder issues. So there's different things that affect it. And that doesn't mean you're gonna get a disease there. It just means that there's a disharmony there. And sometimes just being aware of it. You know, and I love what you just said. So real, so authentic. It's like I might have some of that. And ⁓ you know, we were talking before and I and I have to tell you that one of the reasons I have such a heart for mothers nowadays is that like mothering can be hard. I mean, I was just talking to somebody yesterday. It's like parenting is hard, you know, it's hard work. It's also joyful work, it's also fun. There's lots of laughter, but but it can be hard work in that ⁓ on your own It's one thing. But now with social media and so many different things out there, if you're not mindful about it, you can very easily get into perfectionism mode because you're looking at what all of these other women are doing, able to do, whatever, and who knows their situation. And we can get into a comparison trap, which can drive us to be, you know, it's like I I know I can do this. If they can do it, I can do it. And there's a good side to that and a bad side to that. Yeah. And I think you said ⁓ to me previously, it's like comparing someone else's outsides to your insides. Is that right? Absolutely. ⁓ someone said that to me years ago. I try to always, when I hear something, wisdom, it just sort of resonates. Yeah, we all have that. You somebody says something, you go like, Wow. And that was something that someone said to me years ago that ⁓ We often have a tendency to compare our insides, what we're thinking, feeling, all of that, with what we perceive someone else's, but we're just looking at their outsides, you know. ⁓ and and yeah, and the story that I shared with you that I think would probably illustrate it is one of my sons was probably thirteen, fourteen years old. And he was kind of a different personality, not in a bad way, but he was just like a pretty straight, narrow kid and ⁓ we were talking one day and he was just like really distraught. He's like, Mom, I just I have all these roller coasters of emotions and I'm just all over the place. And ⁓ and I was like, Well honey, er you know, that's kinda normal for your age. Other people do. I mean everybody does, you know, like d you've got so many hormones going through your body. And he just looked at me and said, Well these guys don't. They're just like all all out, you know, da da da and and we had that conversation. I said, You can't I said they don't You don't know what life is like for them when they're not showing you that face. And I do think that we all need to be very gentle and graceful with ourselves, especially with all of that out there. You know, it would be it it's way too easy to compare. Even if you're not prone to. Yeah, for sure. ⁓ and so do you have any clients that you work with that ⁓ maybe they're women, maybe they're moms and they're looking to kind of feel happier or to feel more joy. Is that ever like a goal or something that you're working on or is that a byproduct of the other things that you're doing? That's always my goal when I work with people. I think that ⁓ I think there's a difference between being happy and being joyful. And that happiness, my understanding and what I was taught is that happiness really can be more circumstantial. We're happy that things are going well. But to be able to cultivate a sense of joy even when things aren't going well is super important. And that's a skill we can learn. Hm. Okay. And so how do you work with people to increase joy? Is that part of the energy work that you do? Is it part of the nutrition work that you do? It's it's the internal work. And so I'm I'm I'm thinking of ⁓ a client that I had that I was working with. And ⁓ with everything that's going on, like our internal conversations, the way we talk to ourselves all the time, has such an impact on on how we feel. And sometimes we get so focused on what's going on in the world and around us and all of what's wrong. And so I I often always will ⁓ really ask my clients to start doing a gratitude journal. But when I ask them to do that, it's not as a checklist. I have some real specific directions. ⁓ I love this. It's something I like to do. So I'm curious what your checklist looks like. Well the the checklist is really that there's a couple in and there's a reason why I do it the way I do because it's not just about writing out a checklist and writing things down from your head. I ask people to pause at the end of the day and write down Five things, more if they can, but at least five, that they can look at through the day that they truly made them feel grateful. That something that they saw, and it could be something very small, like a flower that was in full bloom that just wowed them, or the color of the leaves, you know, on the trees, or the way the leaves, you know, like moved in the breeze. It could be somebody's smile, it could be an embrace that you got from along a friend you haven't seen in a while. It could be good news, it could be anything, but something that really made them experience because excuse me, the goal is not just to write something down. The goal is to tap back into that sense of joy and wonder and beauty that you that you witnessed that day. And then I'll have them get up the next morning and read it again with the intention to really recreate that sense of of ⁓ gratefulness and gratitude in their hearts. And then I ask them to make a commitment to do that every night for twenty one days. Now people aren't gonna be able to do it probably every night, but if you make a g if if that's what you're aiming for, you're closer to hit it. And the reason I ask them to do that pause one moment for a drink. Is because what happens when someone makes a commitment to do that is you now put your subconscious mind to work for you. So now when you go through the day, you've told your subconscious mind, it's like I need five things tonight that I can really say that I'm grateful for, that I really, you know, like brought some joy to my heart, whatever. So now you're going through the day and like your mind will start. pointing things out to you. So this one client that I had do that was kind of a little bit horump and stuff, but she she was she was a good cookie. So she went along with me and she was just astounded at the difference it made in her day to day how happy she felt. You know, like the difference in going through the days that she was lighter, that she was happier, that life showed up very differently for her. I love that. That's great. ⁓ You're like training your brain to look for positive instead of maybe negative. Exactly. Because the negative will jump out at us all the time. We're always gonna we're wired for survival. So we're wired to be on the watch out for, you know, like what could be dangerous, what's wrong, what needs to be fixed. We're wired for that. Like we don't have to try to see those things. But ⁓ In the midst of that, it can be really easy to miss the really precious moments of life that ⁓ those things that really do bring us joy. Yeah, and I think ⁓ one thing I've noticed when doing gratitude journaling is that if I think of something like a relationship, a close relationship in my life, like ⁓ let's throw out my husband here, you know, he's really great, but there's certain things that might annoy me, right? Because we're married and I think that's how it goes. But you know, instead of harboring on like what wasn't perfect or how we didn't read my mind, if I instead focus on, let me think of some things that I'm grateful for for him. And I think you could do it for a friend, for your mother, for your difficult child, you know, whatever. And then I find the same thing that my brain is more trained to appreciate, or that I can take something that might be negative because I realize the Positive side of it, right? Like not everything is all bad or all good. Like maybe something's a little annoying, but understanding all the good things that come along with someone has kind of helped me train my brain to just be a little more tolerant, maybe, in my case. Well, and I think you train your brain to look at the good stuff. Cause you know, as you're saying that I'm laughing to myself. I had a client and it was ⁓ a woman who was really On the outs her husband. I mean, she she was just so upset with him. And I actually said that to her. It was like, I want you to do a gratitude journal with the things you're thankful for about him. And ⁓ She's like, I have nothing for you. Actually she didn't to her credit. But you know what happened is like it really turned it around from her for her. Like she just in quickly Because again, if if you understand that if you commit to it as like an exercise, part of part of the rhythm of your day in your life, you train your brain to start looking for what's right, what's good, what's lovely, what's pure, the good things, as opposed to what's wrong with them. Because when we get on that like the if they're doing something wrong and we don't like reverse that direction, they get it goes downward pretty quickly. We don't have to help that. Yeah. ⁓ and I know you're also a fan of routines, potentially a morning routine, which I love. but also you don't think you think like progress is better than perfection. It's not like if you don't have an hour and a half to spend to yourself in the morning doing everything perfectly, that you can't have a morning routine. So I'm excited to hear your perspective, especially because doing things imperfectly or quickly, I think can be so impactful for moms. So tell me kind of how you think about. routines or maybe morning routines. I will. And I will share with you, it came out of my own experience. I was a single mom for a while and I had three young children. But one of the things I loved getting some exercise in, I loved like there were certain things in the mornings. Like I love a quiet and prayer time in the morning. And ⁓ I just realized one day that if I didn't get it done before they got up, I probably wouldn't get it done. But sometimes like When you're a mom, you know that any morning you wait I mean, somebody could wake up at five o'clock when their normal wake up time is seven o'clock and then you're just you're on the clock, you know, there's not much you can do about it. And you're not getting paid overtime. Wow. No. It's just the way it just comes with the territory. Yeah. But ⁓ there was a couple of things. One one thing that I did learn was just to back up my clock a little bit and get up a little bit earlier. But even then there would be days when like I just didn't have the bandwidth. I would I had a exercise routine and back in the day we were doing like videos at home, you know, and I had like a forty five minute video or something. And I remember there being days when it's like I just didn't have the bandwidth to do it. But I knew that it would benefit me to do something. And so I made an agreement with myself to do like three minutes or five minutes of it. It didn't and and that was not and it could have been two minutes to be quite often. honest. Like I've had ⁓ I've had many clients where when we started they just weren't active. They weren't walking. They weren't moving. They weren't really doing anything. And so I would tell them it's like, okay, do this. I want you to go for a walk. What I want you to do is set your phone for like two minutes. Set a timer on your phone for two minutes. And then just walk for two minutes. When your timer goes off, turn around and go back home. You know, you've done a four minute walk. Now Four minutes is not a really great workout, but it's better than nothing. And then what happens is pretty soon they're gonna go like, ⁓ I can do a few more minutes. I can do a few more minutes. So so there there is that where you build on things that you can build up to it a little bit. But I think one of the things you may be referring to is when we were talking before, I mentioned that sometimes one of my favorite really quick workouts when you can't go do anything, is I I would tell people is like lay down on the floor and get up like five times. I think you will work every muscle in your body and it's taking you like maybe two minutes. But you you find different things to do, different shortcuts, so that it's not perfect. And sometimes you just do one rap, you know, or four minutes, whatever it takes, but you still rack up a win in your head. You're still getting something done. But you're giving yourself grace to acknowledge that maybe some days you really and truly don't have the bandwidth to go do a full workout. And it might not be in your best interest to do that. Might be in your best interest to do a little bit more sleep or whatever else. I mean, because that is if I can just say for moms, like I was at a birthday party for one of my daughters here in Texas recently, and somebody bought her. a gift and I'm not trying to poo-poo on anybody's gifts, but it was like it was like this weighted walking vest, you know? And I was like, that's something new. But in my mind, and I'm like, there's so many things to go do. And so it's it's not that there was anything about the walking best. And I I think that where I was really going with that is that there's always a new better something to go do. You know? And I think that it's important to be discerning about that. 'Cause if you try to keep up with all of it, it it will it'll be very disheartening. Yeah, and I think do what works for you. So like personally I think it's great to get outside in nature and walk and then you have fresh air and you have sunlight and it can change your mood. But I also have a walking pad in my office and if it's cold or it's raining or No one else is home, my husband's gone for work and I'm trying to get in five minutes. Well, maybe that's good enough or better than doing nothing, right? Like so you can have your ideal version of what you do. ⁓ and to your point about the vest sounds great. But if you're just trying to get on there and build a routine, you don't have to overcomplicate it. It doesn't have to be perfect. You just have to do something. Yeah. Yeah. And I love what you just said. It can be just good enough. One of my personal coaches ⁓ really set me free once when she talked about how and I think it was probably programs or something that I was launching at the time, but what she said could apply to anything, which is like sometimes it's okay to bring your B game. It doesn't always have to be the A game. ⁓ yeah, moms need to know that. ⁓ Not just for moms, but for all the kids. So one moment. Yeah, of course. so I do think that having a backup plan for those work outside, maybe having your A level exercise routine, your B level or even morning routine. Like my favorite morning routine, honestly, is I get up, I make my tea, I've got a whole little tea tray thing that I have going on. That's part of my like rhythm, part of my morning ritual, sort of. And I have a quiet time and I can be in there and like my ideal morning is probably really about an hour and a half. I have no children at home. I'm just gonna say that right up front. But ⁓ there's some mornings that that didn't happen, you know. So there's some mornings I need like a fast how do I like get myself to that good place? And I think that that's personal for everyone. I think you have to kind of figure it out. For me, that gratitude and and sometimes even just having like a couple of moments and ⁓ ⁓ I hope I can say this on here. But ⁓ one of the things when my kids were little, we learned that there was this thing called the sacred pee pee rule, which was if you're putting them to bed and anyone said they had to go to the bathroom, it it they knew you couldn't argue with them, you would just have to do it. And so I don't know how this'll transition, but what I tell people sometimes is like, listen, even if you need to go to the bathroom for a minute, call the sacred rule and just go because you can go for Few minutes and be undisturbed and just use that instead to just sort of get yourself grounded. Like if you have a certain vision or a saying, or I have a lot of verses that I love that will that will really just kind of get me centered and grounded really quickly, or a couple of memories that I can tap into that I go, Okay, I got this, I'm in a good place. Yeah, I like that, and I think When you set up like an A, B, and C version, and especially if your C version is five minutes or two minutes, then you can get it done. Maybe not first thing. Maybe you have to wait until you drop off the kids, or maybe you have to wait until your lunch break or a coffee break or whatever it is. But if you know, okay, I'm gonna do the five minute version today, either because I chose that it's too much, or I didn't make the choice, but all these things are coming at me, or kids are waking up early. I think then you're not you're not disappointed. You've never failed because you just understand that if you're aiming, you know, sometimes for thirty minutes and sometimes you get five. That's just that's how you're planning. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. ⁓ with my clients a lot of the times I'll encourage them to have a ⁓ like an emergency meal in the freezer. with some of my programs that are a little bit more structured, I'm like, just have plan out an emergency meal because we can do that nowadays because there are really healthy frozen options. And have it in the freezer for those days when like life just happens during the day and you get home and it's not, you know, that dinner that you were all excited about preparing isn't going to happen, but you can still have a really healthy alternative. Yeah. Yeah. And it's the same sort of a thing. I and ⁓ I think there's probably a lot of areas in our lives where we could apply that. I think too, like back to meals, like I have learned that there's some good subscription services that don't have seed oils, that don't have enriched flour, that are really clean ingredients. And I think you go through seasons as a mom if if farming that out, getting a a meal delivery service or some kind of kit, if that is gonna help you in this season or moment, or you just anticipate like you're traveling or you're taking on a big project or Your potty training or whatever it is, like call in a little extra help for yourself and plan on, plan on needing some emergency support, right? Or whatever you want to call it, because I think that's just realistic, especially if you're, you know, you're trying to eat healthier, you're trying to do something specific with your nutrition. Yeah. And I love what you just said about calling on some emergency support. And sometimes I think being able to call on support, period, is a big thing. I think that. when especially mothers have a community that they can lean into for a little bit of support in a season, either emotionally or physically or whatever, that that's really important also. Like we are meant to be in community. And ⁓ it can be easy to be like an island out there, ⁓ if life when life gets really busy. But having a community of like-minded people who really love you and accept you just where you are, that you can be real with and vulnerable with is really important for our mental well-being also. Yeah, I agree. It's it's really special and it's kind of what inspired me in part to do this podcast was to create that space. So if you're still looking for people in real life, and let's face it, making I think friends as an adult or as a mom, you know, particularly maybe you move to a town where you don't know people or, you know, yeah, it's not like you went to college with all your next door neighbors, right? So I think ⁓ it's even virtually or listening to a podcast or tuning in, you know, hopefully this conversation helps to validate some things that people are feeling and helps them to feel part of a community. you know, if that's what they're looking for. Cause it I agree it's so important to know. You're not alone and to ⁓ just hear voices that are similar to yours, ⁓ people going through things that are similar and having conversations that can apply to you that aren't like this perfect version of the morning routine or perfect version of everything you must do or or else that's a little more realistic for us to bite off and chew. Yeah, I agree. I agree. And I think that moms today are amazing. You're juggling so many more things. You know, my children are all grown. Like, you know, one of the things that I didn't say in my introductions, I have four grown children, nine grandchildren. Wow. Who range in age from eighteen to two. and that I watch my children navigate, you know, raising raising children in a culture with so much more noise than when I than when I was raising my children. ⁓ there were certain like even when I was raising my kids, you know, there as a mom, especially if you have more than one child, you have a lot of decisions to make. And now if you have more than one child, there's like even more decisions to make it seems and more things, you know, that you need to stay on top of. And so I just I have a heart for the moms. I love the moms. I think that you guys are doing such a great job. Because this is a very different culture to raise children in. Yeah. I think that's, you know, even that is so validating to hear. And and I love that you have heart. Yes. And I I know that you have heart for you say young moms, but I think moms that have little children, right? And ⁓ knowing that of course you're still a mom, but you you kind of graduated to a different a different league. So thank you for that. And I think, you know, my final question for you is ⁓ if a mom came to you as a client, as a coaching client, and was just feeling kind of overwhelmed, kind of tired, just wanting to do better in nutrition or exercise, but not really knowing where to start or feeling like they don't have time to commit to a whole program, like What are kind of the just the top things? Like where do you start with someone and where would you encourage someone to start with themselves? Hmm. That is a really good question. And I know it's not fair because everyone's so individual, right? So it's like, well, you know, what are the things that are probably affecting one person may not be the same exact that are affecting another person for sure? So True, but then there are some some basics. I mean, I think that where I tend to have people start is simplifying. You know, ⁓ I do think when it comes to eating and menus, when people want to make a difference, you know, like in their their diet and meals and stuff, the easiest thing to do is plan your meals ahead. Because if once you do that and then you shop from that list, You even if you have chicken on the menu for tonight and you don't feel like chicken, well you've got everything in there to make the casserole that you were gonna do tomorrow night, so it's easy to shift. But it makes it so much easier when you know that you have a plan. You don't have because decision fatigue is a real thing. And as a mom, decision fatigue is like ⁓ it's like just over the top right now because there's so many decisions to make. ⁓ so if When you can simplify and get some things going, then what'll happen is it it will take a lot of the pressure off. So creating a menu in actually doesn't take a really long time. It'll take you about 30 minutes to sit down and just write out the week's worth of menus, you know, and then it makes shopping easier and everything you can incorporate. The other thing I encourage people to do is to create some sort of a rhythm in the morning of taking care of themselves first, you know. even if it's like getting up five minutes earlier or ten minutes earlier, and just finding something that'll feed your soul, like whether it's ⁓ reading from a good book, a little bit of meditation, a little bit of prayer, all of those things really center us. And as a matter of fact, there was a study that I'd heard about years ago about how prayer and meditation really alchalizes our body. And for those of you who don't know anything about acid alkaline in the body, when our bodies are acidic, a lot of the bad things can grow like parasites and viruses and fungus. They thrive in an acidic environment, but they can't survive in an alkaline environment. So I remember hearing that and doing my own little experiments on it because I was a little skeptical. But ⁓ I would get up in the morning and test my pH and it would be really acidic. I would go do just a prayer and a quiet time, nothing else but that. Go back and retest and it'd be alkaline every time. Wow. When we get centered and peaceful, it affects everything in our body. So that's in terms of health and wellness and well-being, that's a really important step. And then once people learn to do that for themselves, they can then teach. Like as a mom, you can teach your children that value. And then you Come into the morning and the day with a little bit of a reservoir. The hardest thing is when you go into the you have to start a day and you're on empty. ⁓ that's pretty hard. So I tell people, you know, the easy things, it's like just make some easy choices with food. It doesn't have to be difficult. It can be just planning out your week because most people know what to eat. Most people do. It's just a matter of doing it. So if you give yourself the space and the grace to like plan that out. Having a little bit of time to just get yourself taken care of, that self nurturing. The only thing I would add to that is, you know, and especially because and we talked about it earlier, but just to like anchor it in there is to have a backup plan. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's really great to say like, okay, my ideal morning would be, but what's your non ideal morning? You know, and what do you have that you could ⁓ But we do create memories, like we do create these powerful memories that you know, if you remember like being with grandparents that were very loving, like you can automatically have this warm, fuzzy emotion come up. So we have to cultivate those so that when we only have those bee mornings, we can tap into ⁓ So yeah. I love that because I think ⁓ It applies in so many ways. Like the two things you would say is that, you know, someone who's feeling overwhelmed or a mom could take care of their nutrition by making a plan ⁓ and make and have that backup plan, have that freezer meal or the meal delivery service or whatever it is. and I think that's really actionable, especially because you could even outsource that. You could say, like the husband is in charge or your partner, or you could say, ⁓ yeah, I'm gonna kind of Order groceries on repeat and do the same meals every week or three days, and then maybe there's two days where you have more time and you'll plan more on those days. So I think making a plan is just step one, but there's so many ways to do it. and then your your morning routine and just taking a moment for yourself because you just asked someone to only get up five minutes early or carve out five minutes or take a five minute shorter shower. So I think that was doable. So I love what you're doing. ⁓ thank you so much. I do and and I I read there was I was looking over your website and stuff and ⁓ gosh, here we go. But one of the things that you said, a couple of them that I wrote down 'cause I wanted to remember was that you said, I believe happiness isn't found in grand gestures, but rather in the small sacred moments that shape our days. And I just have to say, absolutely, that and then if we really work on remembering those, ⁓ as victories. We celebrate those victories. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. And I think you mentioned, you know, your ideal morning is you have a tea routine ⁓ and maybe reading a book or or saying a prayer. But I found too that I experiment with different things to kind of find what I like. I really do enjoy gratitude. I enjoy taking some deep breaths and I enjoy getting some kind of physical exercise just makes a really big difference in my mood and my mental state. So I mean, I've experimented like taking deep breaths outside and doing my gratitude outside. Or is it better if I think of what I'm grateful for on the treadmill? You know, so I think it's fine to change things up or, you know, and just say, okay, what makes you happy might not make me happy. I don't I'm not a huge tea person, but if you love tea and making yourself tea in nice cup and you can build that into your everyday. I think that's kind of special. You know, it makes us all different. And you can, if a ⁓ a hot bath is your thing, you can you can fit that in sometime. You know, so being able to choose what it is we enjoy is I think that's what makes us all different. And I do like what you said about like experimenting a little bit too because there are some things that I love doing. Like I love getting outside and just put my feet on the ground. I love going out and looking at the stars, seeing the sun, feeling the sun on me. There's a lot of people out there talking about that kind of stuff. So I didn't purposely go into a whole lot of that today, but what you just brought up is very important that shake it up, you know. Like I I actually don't just go and sit for an hour and a half. Like I've got a yoga mat right there. So I'll do some yoga, I'll do some stretches, I'll go for a walk. But I do think finding whatever that routine is is very important. Yeah. ⁓ and finally, would you tell everyone where they can find you? So if someone wants to connect with you online, you also have a beautiful website and online presence or is interested in one of your programs or coaching, ⁓ where should they look for you? You can find me on my website, which is intentionalliving.me. ⁓ You can also reach out to me by email at dorinda at intentional living.me. ⁓ I am not on Facebook a whole lot. I do have a webpage there, but you can access that from the website. You can reach out to me anytime. All my contact information is on there. And I'm always happy to talk to people. Amazing. Well, thank you for your time. I I truly appreciate it. Okay. Thank you so much, Maria. Thank you for having me on here today. This is Maria, and you've been listening to That Mom. Thank you for being here. If this episode resonated, share it with a mom who needs it too. And if you're ready for more, your next episode is waiting, because every conversation here is meant to empower you to live better.