Latest / The Priestess Temple Podcast / Ep 14: Healing the Sister Wound
Transcript
- Embodied By Jenna: Hi, Baddie. Welcome to another episode of Bad Bitch Embodiment Podcast. My name is Jenna. I'm your host and guide, helping you feel empowered and supported to break up with diet culture, fall in love with your body, and call in your dream relationship. Let's get started. Right, y'all, today we are going to take a deep dive on a topic that I know has negatively impacted so many women. And this topic is the sister wound. Yes, if you have ever gone through a traumatic breakup with a best friend, if you have ever been dropped by an entire friend group seemingly out of nowhere, or if you have ever felt a sense of jealousy or competition. Amongst the women in your life, then this episode is for you. Especially if you are a millennial like me who grew up in the 1990s and the early 2000s, where movies such as Mean Girls and Bring It On were so popular, depicting groups of women. Fighting against each other to gain notoriety and respect within the high school hierarchy and to be seen as the ultimate prize by all of the male and female counterparts in the school. This was such a common experience growing up. And as women, I think we all have trauma when it comes to the sister wound. And I want you to know that this is not your fault. Actually, these traumatic experiences that we've gone through are a result of the patriarchal conditioning that we have grown up with within our society. today in 2026, I see the tides turning drastically to move away from these patriarchal ideas to more of a matriarchal mindset where women come together and collaborate. Because y'all hear me out. When women come together for a common purpose, we are literally unstoppable. And as women, we To live within community. Our bodies crave that type of co-regulation with our sisters. And so, what I'm gonna do is I am going to tell you a story from my own personal life about the sister wound that is quite traumatic, but I think you'll be able to relate to it and also learn a lot from it. And then I'm going to teach you how to heal from the sister wound to come out on the other side with better relationships Because today I can tell you that my female friendships are some of the most safe, nourishing, and supportive relationships in my entire life. You deserve to have that kind of experience when it comes to relating to other women. And so at the end of this episode, my goal for you is to leave feeling confident on how you can form deeper connections with your fellow sisters as we move away from patriarchy and towards matriarchy. So without further ado, let's get started. When I was in high school, I was kind of the weird girl. I was a social outcast. I never truly fit in with any friend group, and I wasn't seen as being desirable by men, at least the men that I wanted to be with, anyways. And so I didn't have a boyfriend. I didn't go to prom. I had kind of felt a lot of shame and unworthiness when it came to my place as being chosen as a woman. And this followed me into college because I had so desperately desired to be in a committed partnership with a man. And when I moved into the dorm rooms in my sophomore year of college, there was this guy who lived down the hall from me that I really liked. We were both attracted to each other instantly and had grown a bond over about a year and a half And as we had gotten to know each other, it turned into more of a friends with benefits kind of thing. And eventually he had asked me to be his girlfriend. And I was elated, y'all. I felt so worthy and chosen in that moment to finally be in a committed partnership with a man that I really liked. And so after he had asked me out. I was so excited and I called my two roommates into the bathroom with me at a house party and I told them the news. we all rejoiced and they celebrated me and we had this really intimate moment. And after that moment, we left the bathroom and continued to party with my boyfriend and the rest of my friends throughout the night. The next morning, I got up to go to class because even though I was partying, I was still a straight A student. And so I always got up and went to lecture. And so after class, I came back to the house and I go to open my bedroom door And the sight that was in front of me as I opened the door was one of the most horrific things I have ever seen in my entire life. I saw my boyfriend naked in bed with my roommate who I had just told that he had asked me to be his girlfriend. Yeah, guys, so fucked up. Up my boyfriend and my roommate cheated on me less than 12 hours after he had asked me out, and I was crushed. I was in utter shock and disbelief and disgust. My stomach felt like it had just been punched by Mike Tyson in a boxing ring. And my Consciousness completely dissociated from my body. That moment did something to me so deep down in my soul. My body felt it, my mind felt it, and I just went into a complete freeze state. And in this freeze state, I sat there and I did nothing. The trauma of that experience was too much for me to digest. And so I didn't digest it. I just kept going on as normal. Like that moment didn't happen. I kept dating that guy. I kept living with that girl. And slowly over time, my body started to deteriorate. I fell chronically ill at the age of 23, having horrible digestive issues and all over full body muscle pain, like fibromyalgia type symptoms that made me feel like I was frozen in time. And as time went on, my health problems got worse, my body felt less and less safe, and I continued to keep these people around me. Over time, me and my roommates started to get really catty and really competitive with one another, always trying to one-up each other and blaming each other for different problems that didn't even have to do with the relationship. But I was just holding down a lot of feelings of resentment towards her. And she was holding down a lot of feelings of Jealousy towards me for being with that guy that she clearly wanted to be with. And so our friendship broke up. She ended up moving out. I continued to date that man for four years while I was trying so desperately to regain my health. Obviously, the relationship wasn't good for me, and I broke up with him. And as I was on my healing journey over the course of seven years to regain my digestion and my muscle function, I learned so much about these feelings of shame and unworthiness that resulted from my desire to be chosen due to my patriarchal conditioning. Hindsight is 2020, y'all. And looking back on the photos of me and that man in that relationship, it has become clear as day where the symptoms of my illness arose from. It all had to do with being in that relationship and having that traumatic experience of being cheated on. The reason I share this story with you is because I think that you might be able to relate in some type of way. And I want you to know that I'm not perfect. I truly believe that every experience that happens in our life doesn't happen to us, it happens for us. And through this journey of regaining my health, which now I have no health problems, my digestion and my muscle function are perfect. I have come to learn a lot of things about myself and my body and how to heal. Especially through adopting new ideologies about what it means to truly be a woman. And so I want to give you some tips about how to work through the sister wound so you can come out on the other side having better relationships. Let's do a little biology lesson here. First off, let's think about how reproduction works within the human species. Okay. Typically, during an ovulatory cycle, there is a single egg released. there are hundreds to thousands of sperm that are competing to fertilize that one egg. And if we look at these ideals that are depicted in the movies like Mean Girls and Bring It On, the patriarchy has gotten this natural order of selection all fucked up. Seriously, because the patriarchy has pinned women to fight and compete against each other for a man. And that just doesn't make any fucking sense. Seriously, there are hundreds and thousands of sperm competing for one egg. I want you to realize that because when you understand the inherent value that you hold as a woman, well, then there's absolutely no reason to compete or be jealous. In fact, men are competing for women's attention. And in order for you to Move through the sister wound, you have to start to realize your own inherent worth. I want you to put your own worth and your wants, your needs, your desires, and your priorities above all. Women are the natural born leaders. We have just been systematically stripped of our power. And when we are competing against one another, we are overriding the natural. Process that is seen within our biology. And so when you put yourself on a pedestal and increase your self-worth, you also have to realize that your body is paramount. It will tell you. Everything you need to know. When I opened that door and I saw them together in bed, I got the biggest punch in my stomach in my life. My body was telling me that it was unsafe. And I made the choice to not listen because I was desperate to be chosen by this man due to my patriarchal conditioning. And so my body started to break down. Digestive issues, muscle pain, these symptoms are all signs showing you that something is not right. And so you need to acknowledge when you start to feel that something is a little bit off. This is gonna be a little bit harsh, but you need to stop lying to yourself about a person's potential. And when people show you who they truly are the first time, you need to believe them because both of those people in my life had a history of cheating on their partners. Okay. So it wasn't the first time that they did it with me. No, I could see that that was their character. However, I chose to ignore it. Because I wanted to feel chosen. And so this is a huge reality check here because chances are if you have gone through a breakup with a friend or a friend group or if you have been cheated on, chances are there were many, many signs leading up to that grand event of the breakup. And so I'm in the camp of radical responsibility here. And truly I believe that we can learn from all of our mistakes. And so there's no harm or foul, but rather you have to stop projecting your desire onto other people and look at them for who they truly are by monitoring their actions over an extended period of time. This process is called vetting. And it can't be done quickly. It has to be done in a slow, controlled manner over several weeks and months. So don't rush into anything with a romantic partner or with friends. People's reputations are a reputation for a reason. And so don't think that, if someone did this to someone else, they're not gonna do it to you. I am a huge fan of being delusional, but we need to be delusional about the right things. And we need to objectively see people for who they are and not who we desire them to be. Another tip I want to give you is about handling jealousy and competition because the feelings of jealousy can give us some really interesting clues to help us decode our desires. Think in the past it has been really common to see women who are getting everything they want and living their best life and who are beautiful and highly desired by our male counterparts to look at them as a threat, to want to tear that woman down, That that woman's greatness is somehow showing that you are not good enough, this is the patriarchy talking loud and clear. And so I want you to hold the fuck up. When you are feeling jealous, what it truly, truly means is that you subconsciously believe that you cannot have the thing that you desire. That is being displayed to you through that other person. Let that digest for a second. This feeling is something that is so real and so valid. And so I don't want you to push feelings of jealousy or envy away, but rather I want you to feel them fully. And then I want you to get really fucking curious about yourself. Because hear me out. When I am talking about the sensations that come from your body giving you clues as to how to interact with the world, jealousy is your desire detector. And this is such a big reframe that has literally changed my motherfucking life. When you are triggered by someone else having something you desire. It means that that desire is coming closer to you, that you are being shown proof in your 3D reality by God that that thing that you want is a possibility. And so now I look at jealousy as my guiding post to help me determine what I truly want in my life. Bad bitch doesn't compete, she gets curious. And looks at other bad bitches as inspiration and guiding lights that illuminate the path towards her evolution. Because babe, the truth is you can have everything that you motherfucking desire. You just have to believe that those desires can be a reality for you. Like I said earlier, I love being delusional about the right things. And it is the delusional belief that you can have what you want that truly allows you to acquire those things. And so when you see a bad bitch, rejoice. Celebrate the fuck out of that woman. And I want you to observe her. I want you to observe how she moves through the world. What does she dress like? How does she talk? What beliefs does she implant in her own consciousness that allow her to embody these traits that you desire in your 3D reality? Study her and then embody those qualities in yourself. Because our relationships are all a mirror. And so if you have had issues with the sister wound in your past, chances are you subconsciously felt unworthy. And I want you to know that you have the ability to change your thoughts and your belief systems at any moment in time. Because the truth is we were all born worthy. We were all born good enough. It's just that our societal conditioning and our experience of trauma from our past teach us that this is not the case. But I am telling you, you are divine and you are worthy of every single thing that you motherfucking desire. And so Look at your jealousy as a roadmap and get curious about yourself. Because when you can use jealousy to decode your desire, that's when things get really juicy. It helps you take steps towards being a bad bitch in your 3D reality. And when you come to this realization, that is when the patriarchy crumbles. We're moving towards this society where these ideals no longer fit. They're no longer working. People are waking up. And so as women, it is our job to be the embodied leaders, to go after what we want and to lift each other up. And root each other on as we follow our dreams and achieve our goals, because each goal and dream that a woman around you achieves is proof that you are moving closer towards your own. As women, we are meant to be in community. Our nervous systems co regulate with one another and heal through feeling safe. And through feeling pleasure. And so when we can celebrate each other big for our accomplishments, no matter how small, we all win. We all lift each other up. We all grow and we all expand to claim the desires that we know are rightfully ours. And you have to realize that some people might fall out of your life when you adopt this mentality. And that is a okay. I don't have any type of relationship with my old roommate or my old boyfriend because I started to adopt different beliefs about myself. And today I have the most loving, nourishing, safe, and supportive friend group. of my life. And so I tell you this traumatic story from my past as a way to give you hope that there is a reality beyond the sister wound. as women, when we co-regulate by feeling these emotions of positivity, of gratitude, of celebration, then we all heal. And when our collective energy comes together for a common purpose, we are literally unstoppable. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Bad Bitch Embodiment Podcast. If you enjoyed our conversation, please share with members of your community and be sure to like, comment, and subscribe so we can keep having these amazing conversations every week. I will see you next Thursday. And until then, you are a bad bitch. Don't you ever forget it.