Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep206. The Realest Episode Yet — Loss, Love, and Letting Go with Mike and Angie.

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Ep206. The Realest Episode Yet — Loss, Love, and Letting Go with Mike and Angie. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Do you ever wake up feeling like there's something missing in your life?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Do you ever feel the need to escape your business?
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Are you running your life or is your life running you?
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm Mike Kitko, and I'll help you design and create a life so authentic and aligned with who you really are that you'll get excited just to wake up.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I'll help you create real wealth, success and freedom from the inside out.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: This might be one of the status episodes that we're going to have, and it's also hopefully going to be the most impactful, and those two go hand in hand.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: My wife is here.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: There's Angie Kiko If you're on video, you can see her, and if you're on audio, you just heard her say hi.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: So we've been doing more and more of these because, first of all, we love doing these things together.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Angie adds a fit ton of value and people seem to enjoy them, they like them, they seem to enjoy hearing somebody besides me, and she just brings a different perspective.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: And you know, I don't know.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I think we're a great partner, but I think, so that's biased opinion this week.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, you want to talk about what happened?
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Nope.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I don't want to start.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I will start.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Nope, I will start.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: So we have animals and we are we're empty nesters.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Our daughters are at college and they basically, for all intents and purposes, live outside the house they live.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: One lives in Springfield, missouri, the other lives in Kirksville, missouri, and our older daughter graduated college this year.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: She graduated what?
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: In April, she graduated in May.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: She graduated in May.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: And our younger daughter attends Truman State in Kirksville, missouri.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: So we are officially human, empty nesters and we have slash had four animals and we've always been animal lovers, we've always had pets and we've always loved them.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, calling them animals just seems like that's such a disservice.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: We have furry family members.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Fur babies, furry family members, whatever you want to call them, but they're our babies and they've always been just such a big, big, valuable part of of our family and and we kind of built a life around our, our fur pets and and it's almost, it's almost disgusting sometimes because we talk like them and and we act like them and we like talk to each other through them.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: We talk as through them as them to each other.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Like, we'll make, we'll make silly jokes I know I'm getting hot already talking about this we'll make we'll be passive, aggressive to each other through the animals.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: We have a silly little voice for the animals and well, if you would have done this, then this, and we'll get passive, aggressive and then say, listen, like I didn't say, I didn't say it like he did, she did, like that was with me, that was the animal and it's just a funny way to connect and, you know, being empty nesters, we're trying not to be bored and we actually have some kind of a purpose and and have some fun in the world.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: But the point being is um, we've, we've had, we had two dogs and two cats.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Our dogs are Wesson and Finley.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: They're Cavalier King Charles Spaniels Very regal.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: And we had two cats, and our older cat's name was Nova.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Her actual name was Nova Neoma Kitko.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Her government name was Super Nova Neoma Kitko.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and our younger cat, and he wasn't't very much younger than nova, but his name is latte, latte alexander, and, uh, he's not quite as regal.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: He's.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: He's very flumpy and he's fall in love but he's very flumpy and nova was out.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Of all of them, nova was the healthiest and our Cavalier King Charles Spaniel dogs are both in heart failure.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Latte has already had surgery for stones in his bladder urinary tract and Nova had always gotten clean bills of help.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: We have insurance for our dogs and cats, so they get checkups and all that good stuff, but we take great care of them.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: So they get checkups and all that's good stuff, but we take great care of them.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: But on Sunday, sunday morning, I came down and Saturday night we were playing.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Saturday night I had a whole hour and a half play session with her.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: I was watching a documentary on Netflix and Mike was sitting out back and she and I had our routine at night, their routine at night and the routine in the morning kind of looked very similar that angie, well, in the morning, would have a cup of coffee and would have her, her stick and her tail, and nova would jump around and jump, walk through the walk through the tunnel and and nova just knew when, instantially, when it was, when it was playtime, and she would look at angie and just look directly and these two, nova and Nova and Angie, they were like bonded, like nobody's business.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I've never seen a bond between an animal and a human that powerful and it was like they were the same person in different forms.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: But we went to bed and everything was wonderful and I woke up Sunday morning, july 6th.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I came downstairs like I normally do, I grabbed my coffee and walked out on the back deck and me and the boys me and my boy dogs were out on the back deck and that was around 5.30 am and I usually feed the cats around 7 am and it's not unusual for me not to see the cats in the morning, you know, until it's feeding time.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: But I walked in the kitchen to feed them at 7 am and only Latte was near the door and that was very unusual because they're usually both by the door and they're swirling.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: But then I went and got the cat bowls but Nova is a little weirdo from time to time She'll just do things differently.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: So it wasn't like completely atypical, just wasn't typical Went and grabbed the cat bowls out of the closet and that was weird, that Nova wasn't coming then and I went over to the closet to fill up their bowls and I filled up both of them and I gave Latte his food and I was still looking around for Nova and I saw her laying down by her cat tree where I normally feed her.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: So I started to walk towards the cat tree and as I got close I got within three to five feet of Nova.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: She tried to push up on her front and I'm demonstrating on video.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: She tried to push up on her front paws but she was struggling and I reached down.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I immediately put the food down because I knew something was wrong and I went to pick her up and when I picked her up she let out a blood curdling scream and what I what I guess I realize now is that you know she, she had the and she was laying in her feces and urine.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: And we don't know how long.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: We're figured she was there a couple hours.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: But uh, when she saw me, the only thing I can picture is that when she.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: The only thing I can imagine is when, when, when I walked over to her and she started picking herself up, it was like she had a a new sense of hope and possibility because her dad was there.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Her dad was there Like finally somebody.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: She'd probably been laying there by herself, scared and in pain and alone for hours, and her dad was there and I went to pick her up and she screamed the most blood curdling scream.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: And I immediately went and I could tell when I picked her up, her back legs were just limp.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: It's almost like they got run over by a car.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: And I put my arm underneath of her belly and she was still screaming and meowing.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: And that's when I really smelled and and I felt the feces and the urine and and she was still peeing a little bit.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And that's when I yelled cause I could hear Angie starting to, starting to walk around upstairs.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I yelled Angie, something's wrong with Nova.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: And Angie came hauling ass downstairs.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: I told her that her back legs weren't working well and I think Angie knew immediately that Nova wasn't gonna be with us very long yep, no, I I am.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I knew that I've I've volunteered at cat rescues and shelters and stuff in the past and I I knew, when her back legs weren't working, that we were going to take her out of this house and she wasn't coming back yeah, and so we we got in the car and especially my smell that she had peed all over herself, even pooped she.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: So we got, got her in the car, took her to the vet and, uh, got her as comfortable in the car as possible and, angie I, I was holding her, because I didn't I already had her firmly, like comfortable, in my hand.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: I mean yeah, cause at that point, like I still had, I was still holding out hope that maybe she broke something.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: And if she broke something, that's different.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: But I I knew because I'd seen this before.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: You know, I've seen paralyzed cats.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: And I thought, and Angie, angie kind of gave up.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't know if she completely gave up hope, but on the way she said, she said, mike, you don't, I don't think you know what this means.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: This means when a cat's back legs aren't, aren't operative, that's not good.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: And I said, well, I'm holding out hope until the vet tells me that.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: And so I was holding her and we got there and angie was holding nova's ears because we were in the in a jeep with the roof off and and she had her head snuzzled in my arm and we're just, it was about I don't know a couple 20 minute drive to the vet.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: And we got there and they immediately took her back and they told us it wasn't good, like immediately, so it's not good.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: I said, hey, she's alive.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: And the woman and the nurse said well, if it's, if we're back, so we're concerned there's, we're concerned it's a blood clot and that's not good.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: And that's not good.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: And what they?
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: We got put in the room and we, the the vet came a few minutes later and said hey, look it's.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: She was in a heart failure during the middle of the night.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Her heart failed and the area that and this is kind of what we've learned since the area that pumps blood to her hind parts it failed and the blood was a blood clot blocking, but it was a blood clot blocking the flow to her back legs so that's why her legs, her back legs, were basically paralyzed.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: They were dead yes, and the vet said that she couldn't.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: She said I've pinched her, she can't.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: She couldn't feel anything, which is yeah, which makes me feel better that she could.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: So the the crying was she was scared, not in pain.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: And, uh, immediately, you know, I I guess I took control and the vet said we can do, and I said nope, we're done.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Angie was, angie had already set me up.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: She, she kind of told me that what it would be like to raise a dog, a cat, that was paralyzed and whatever.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: But the vet was like I recommend, I highly recommend, put her down.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: So we did, and within an hour and a half of me finding Nova, within an hour and a half we were back home with our baby girl.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: We're home at 830.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: And so let's talk a little bit about Nova and why we're saying this.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Nova was the uh, her faked cat.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Uh, she was beautiful, she was tender, she was kind, she was loving, she was so sweet, she was so soft.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: She was so well-behaved.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: She was so well-behaved.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: She never got into anything.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: She's not one of those cats that climb the walls or climb the tree, not like a grand kitten.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Never hurt anything from the moment we got her, when we we went to the uh, we went to the shelter and we picked her out.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: She's, she was just, she was just there and she just, you know, she, she wasn't super affectionate, she didn't initiate.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: She's a lot like Angie, where she doesn't initiate affection a lot, but she received affection when, when, when, you, uh, when, when, you know you asked her for it or invited it.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: But but she was just the perfect cat and we thought we were going to have her for another 15 years and she was the healthiest of all four of our animals.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: And we feel an intense, intense sense of loss.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Right now.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: There's part of our family that's gone, that we went to bed and woke up and our family was different.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: There was a hole in our family and we bond very deeply with our animals.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: So we're this week, and that was Sunday, and we're recording this Wednesday and that's a day before it.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: It it publishes tomorrow, it'll publish tonight, actually midnight tonight, so it's just a few hours, but it's been, it's been a really tonight actually midnight tonight, so it's just a few hours but it's been a really hard, tough, sad, grief-filled, sometimes angry week and we've cycled through a lot of emotions and we shared this story.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I've shared it multiple times on Facebook.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: If you're not connected to me on Facebook, go connect to my Facebook feed and you can do a lot of work on my Facebook feed.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: But I've also shared it, you know, in our mastermind and in our community call Everybody's heard about Nova this week.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Everybody's heard about Nova, because she deserves that.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we deserve.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: We deserve to share our journey with people and we share our journey with people that we love and and what we try to do.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: We're not just trying to get I.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: We don't want pity and sympathy.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: That's not what we're looking for.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: No, there's no pity and sympathy to be shared, but we do want to talk about our process of grief and how we're kind of working through it, and I think that's the whole point of this.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Over the last few weeks, we've been talking about over to hit.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Over the last few months, I've been talking about the, the emotional, uh, emotional management and how to uh, how to cycle through emotions and how to be okay, and it's it's not a coincidence or a mistake that, as I've gotten clearer and clearer on sharing some sense of how to become internally powerful and maintain some sense of of inner stability and of inner balance in a world that's the circumstances are constantly shifting and constantly changing.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: And, as I've talked about emotional mastery and not needing things outside of you to be, to look a certain way to be okay, okay inside.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: And last week I also shared the drill method and what we talked about on vacation when we were in in Cancun.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: We talked about on vacation, when we were in Cancun.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: We talked about our girls and their emotions were going up and down, and we did a really nice job of staying grounded and staying centered.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: And last week I shared the drill method which allows you to dive into your emotions and feel them and what to do with them.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: It gives you something to do with your emotions instead of just run from them or escape them or suppress them or repress them.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: It gives you something to do and action to take so that you can become the master of your emotions, instead of allowing your emotions to become the master of you.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: And not that this is easy, and not that you don't feel emotion.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: You feel it.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: You feel it intensely because the people that are doing this work are awake and aware.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: And when you're spiritually awake and aware, it doesn't mean you don't experience pain.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: It means the intensity of that pain is probably increased because you're not running from it, you're running into it.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: You're running into it, you're feeling it and you're not doing anything to make the feelings go away.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: You're just managing the emotion and allowing it to move through you, right?
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: So moving with it, not pushing it, not resisting it.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, allowing the grief is going to come up and maybe you can talk a little bit about your process.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: But you know the drill method had five parts and I shared this in last week's episode.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: The first step in the drill method and it's the acronym drill, right?
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: The first step in the drill method is dropping into your body.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Most people try to solve their problems in their head.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: This isn't a mental exercise.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: This is getting into your body.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: It's somatic work.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Soma is the Greek word for body, so it's getting into your body and feeling what's in your body.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: The second is recognizing what's in there, whether it's grief, anger, envy, jealousy, fear.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: I said grief, whatever, shame, guilt, whatever this emotion is, recognize what it is and allow it to amplify in your body.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Don't run from it.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Allow it to amplify the I is inquire within.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Why are you here?
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: What are you teaching me?
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: What are you telling me?
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Allowing it, inviting it to speak to you, and that's the first L Let it speak to you, let it tell you, let it talk to you, let it teach you.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: When you inquire deeply into your emotion, when you're feeling the power of your emotion and you inquire into it, your subconscious mind and your body will start to give you the answers and start to give you the root of why these things are there.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Maybe they're old experiences, or maybe it's unresolved grief from past relationships, but if you inquire and let it speak to you, it will.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: I promise you that.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: And the last L is to let it go, is to breathe into the emotion and to exhale the emotion and allow it to flow through your body.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Because that's all.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Emotion is Emotion is energy in motion and the emotion that you're feeling is the emotion that's trapped in your body, that's been stored.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like I shared this last week.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like the orange and the knife.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: When you stick a knife into an orange and maybe you twirl it around a little bit and you pull the knife out, the orange juice comes out of the orange.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: The knife didn't create the juice, the knife just revealed it.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Nova's death did not create the grief that we're feeling, it just revealed the grief that's already inside of us.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Now we can do a couple things.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: We can push it back down and deal with it the next time one of our animals dies or maybe even God forbid one of our children die, or maybe each other, and we can deal with even higher levels of grief, or we can deal with this grief right now, allow it to move through our body like it was always intended to, and deal with less grief now, less grief tomorrow and less grief in the future, because we're not releasing emotion that was caused by this event.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: We're releasing the emotion from prior events that we've stored up and collected and we've held on to it.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Now we get to release it.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: So you want to talk a little bit about your process and what you've been doing and how you've been experiencing the emotion.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: I mean you just walk through the whole process.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: You're sitting on the couch and you feel the emotion.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: What do you do?
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: I literally breathe into it.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: I and I.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: I feel all of my emotion in my, in my sacral, like that's just where all my emotion is my stomach area Right around your belly button.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's, that's where all of my emotion Well, a lot of it releases there, and you just just sitting with it and and breathing into it and just breathing it out, and each time a little bit more escapes, and then it comes back up and I do it again.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: That's the.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: That's the key is a little more comes back when you all you're doing is it's.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: It's almost like peeling layers of an onion.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: All right, just because you peel a layer off doesn't mean you're not going to find another layer.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: You're going to find another layer and when that one pops up, you're going to you're going to peel that one off too.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: And if you do this every time, you can do this with any emotion, any and all emotion, but you've got to feel it.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: You've got to drop into your body and you've got to feel it.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: You've got to recognize what's in there and you've got to feel it and inquire into that and doing it over and over again.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: It's.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: You know this happened Sunday morning and it's Wednesday afternoon right now and you know I've only had a few breakdowns today, whereas the first couple of days I was just a mess all day.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: And the memory.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Right now, the memory still triggered the emotion, which shows you that there's more emotion in there to be released right.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: But over time, with this work, what happens is you recall a memory from Nova and you recall what one of the things, one of the reasons that Angie and Nova were most bonded and I thought this was absolutely precious is Angie loves.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: We have a couple of plants up in the upstairs, in our entryway, and when it was plant watering time or plant inspection time, angie would say nose, hey, nova, come on, it's time to water the plants.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: And Nova would think, think, think, think, think and come up and they would stand in front of a plant and Angie, angie, would water the plant and if there was a, if there was a new leaf, she'd say look, nose, it's a new leaf.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: And, like Nova was so curious, she would like nose into the plant and see what Angie was talking about.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Or maybe there was a dying leaf and Angie would talk to her about the leaf and Nova would look at the leaf with her and then we'd say, okay, come on, come on, nose next plant.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: And Nova would blink, blink, blink, blink.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: And right now we think about that and it creates a sense of grief.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: But over time, if we let go, as we let go of the grief, instead of thinking about the memory and feeling the inner grief, we'll think about the memory.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: We'll get a smile on our face.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: We'll also get an inner smile too, that that memory, the emotion, will match a positive memory or will create more of a positive memory instead of a, instead of a negative, and it's just time, it's just allowing and understanding that it's part of the process and, and I mean we're all, gravity always wins and everybody's gonna die.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: Um, it's facts of life.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: But I remember her uh, one of the things also that really made our connection really cool was I remember at one time she was just staring at me and I said she wants cold water.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: She loved cold water in her fountain and mike would be like how do you know that?
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: And it's like she's telling me she wants cold water and I would go and I get her found and I went over, I filled up her her cold, cold water fountain and said no one knows cold water, and I would go and I get her fountain.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: I went over, I filled up her her cold, cold water fountain and said no, no, it's cold water and blink, blink, blink, blink, blink and start drinking.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: I told you she wanted cold water.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: And there were a bunch of these things and Angie's like the animal whisperer, right.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: So Angie's got very intuitive abilities with this to talk to animals and and is it?
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Is it woo, woo and weird?
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, but and and I used to, I used to like I don't know, I don't know, judge those and and make fun of them, but but they're freaking real and over time, as I've become more woo woo and surrendered, I'm like she's always had intuitive abilities to speak to animals and and to feel what they're trying to express and communicate with them through, just through intuition, right.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: But when we first got nova, she was home and and we had her for a few weeks, maybe a few months, and a year, we got her.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: Was it a year and she got in?
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: 2019 and she had been here for a while and she she was fine, she assimilated, started, I don't know, being a little more lethargic and just kind of laying around a lot more instead of being playful.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: And Andy said Nova's bored.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Nova told me she's bored.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Nova told me she needs a friend and I I thought that was not weird, but I was like is that true?
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: You just want another cat?
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, you just want another cat.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: That was my first response.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: But we went.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Angie was volunteering at a cat shelter and this amazing cat named Latte came in and Angie and Latte connected immediately and Latte went through the adoption process, got moved around a little bit, came back COVID happened.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: We all thought we lost him because yeah.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: And he came back to the shelter that Angie was in.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: And as soon as he came back to the shelter, she's like yep, you're my cat, you're coming home with me.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: And when we brought Latte home with Nova, both of them bonded and right now Latte is the one grieving.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: He's kind of walking around upstairs looking for her and he goes to her favorite corners and he goes to where she used to sit and he's looking for her.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: You can see it, he's confused.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: We're all a little confused.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and our girls with them being away, this happening while they were away.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: It was even hard for them too, because this is the first pet they've lost that they weren't here for.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: But they said it was going to take three to four months for Latte to assimilate.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: It took three days.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, he was like oh and he, when we got cats they'd never drink out of the cat's, or the cats would never drink out of the dog's water.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: And that wasn't true and you know, it's just every, every, there's myth, whatever, what's supposed to supposed to be was broken with both of them.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: It was just, it was just an easy.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Now our, our, our cat latte chases everybody else around a little bit for funsies, but and but he's trying to play and he wants to play with them, but they, you know, he just goes over max everybody.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: But, uh, everybody's a little confused and everybody's a little, you know, a little sad.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: It's just sad, but to be honest, it's good to feel a little bit of sadness.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: I haven't felt sadness in a while and, uh, I get to, I get to dive into, I feel like I get to dive into the grief and and grief is just like kind of love that's missing, a piece, some, some sense of love that I have for something or someone that's missing.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: But it's a missing piece that that I'm, I'm missing here.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: So I get to drill into that and find it and feel it and and develop and bridge that gap, I guess, and refine my love for nova instead of my grief for nova.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: So yeah, and I think just not not having to to be concerned with why did this happen?
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: Why did this happen to me?
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: You know, okay, understand, that literally we're every there's not a single person listening to this right now.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: That's not going to die, yep, or lose somebody.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: Lose somebody, yeah, or something, or whatever, sure, and and so many people get stuck in the why did my dad die?
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Why did my cat die?
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Why, why, why, why, why?
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: Instead of focus, because it was going to happen, it was regardless if it was july 6 2025 or july 6 2035, it was going to happen.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: And taking away that piece of why is I think that allows the actual processing of the emotions to happen, versus trying to control the why and how, and it's the control piece, right, so stepping back from the control and just dive totally into the.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: I like to think that it was already encoded in the, in the Nova's DNA, that on July 6, 2025, she was going to perish and her heart was set up to to stop working properly on that day.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: And there's and to me that's very freeing and if there's a belief that that feels free, I'm going to live up that belief.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: It just feels it feels more freeing, it feels more empowering, and Angie and I were having a conversation where Angie was talking about something to the effect of I wish her heart would have, you know, lasted a little longer or something, something to that effect, and I said the, the.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: The perspective that I have right now is Nova kind of knew that she had six and a half years with us.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: She was about seven years, a little over seven years old, when she died, but she knew she had six and a half years with us.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: And when we brought her home and she was in her house and she was being bathed in love and had toys everywhere, she's like, oh my God, I can't believe my heart is going to be healthy enough to experience this for six and a half years, Like there was so much love and so much joy in our house and so much kindness towards our animals, and we don't have a small house.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: We have a nice size house from our perspective and there's lots of places to explore.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: And she was an exploring cat man.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: She would just explore everywhere and she always in every room.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: It's like she had her little favorite place.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: So she we'd find her in different places all over the house and and uh, as we go from room to room, we're still looking for Yep, and her love for us was so big that over 90% of cats who suffered this type of embolism die immediately, like they don't even make it to the vet.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: But she laid there.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: She knew that I couldn't handle that, yeah.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: So she laid there and let us she's like I'm going to give my mommy and daddy one more more bye and her sisters we were able to get them on face 7, 15 in the morning, 23 and 20 year unusual.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: They knew when I was facetiming them at that time of day that something was urgent and they answered.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: So they got to see her one last time, so she got to hear and see her sisters and then mom and dad.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: We'll get ready to get ready to wrap this up, and I want to.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: One of the first books that I ever read in this spiritual journey that I've been on is a book by Byron Katie, and it's B?
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Y R O N Katie, k A T I E, and Byron Katie was a female author.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: The book is called Loving what Is, and it's about falling in love with anything that happens in your life.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: And when I I'm going to ask this from a Byron Katie perspective, I know what your body is going to say, I guess, should Nova have died?
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Why.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: Because she did.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Because she did.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: That's really hard to it's learning to say that, learning to talk through that.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: But my body's like, yeah, I don't want my cats back.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah but she should have died because she did.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: There's literally nothing we could have done to prevent it.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: Her, her heart gave out and she should have died because she did.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: And that's reality.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: And fighting with you, fight reality.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: Reality wins every single time and your resistance just causes you suffering instead of changes the outcome.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: The resistance that Angie just felt, saying that is what she gets to drill into.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: To let go of that resistance, because it's that resistance that's fighting against reality, creating the suffering yeah and that's what we can control.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: When we can control what we can control, which is what's happening in our body, when we influence what we influence in the world, that's when we're at our most powerful and when we stop controlling what we only influence.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: That's where.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: That's where, yeah, and then we get to drill into any resistance and let it go and become more and more free all the time.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: I think we'll wrap it up for here.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: I think you did a great job.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this, and I hated having to do an episode like this, but I think it's.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: It's cool to share our humanity and show that you know the work applies to us too, when we do the work and we don't just sit here.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: And you don't just sit here and yap about the work and not do it.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Because this is real.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I cried on the mastermind, I teared up on the mastermind.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: I've cried a couple times this week.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Emotion's real.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: You can pretend you don't have it, but all you're doing is fighting your humanity.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: I will bring you to a close.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Great job, baby.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Great job.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: I know it was hard for you.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: I know it's been a hard week for you.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Right, nova's looking down and she said she said to me the other day.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: She said I was sitting outside and I was kind of diving into a little bit of grief and she said I'm right here, daddy, I'm still here and I'm not in pain.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: Well, and then today I went.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: When I was saying bye to her the other day I said you're going to have to help mama through this from over there, so make sure you show me sign.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: But today I had to go and start our getting our cars registered both of our vehicles, registrations this month.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: That's down at the car shop and there was this magazine.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: Never before in my life have I seen anything like that.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: I looked over and I said, oh, nova came to say hi so so it's, there's a chevy, there's a vehicle called a chevy nova oh yeah, I guess you should and it, and it just happens that angie took the car in to get uh, to get the inspection or to get the emissions today, after she said okay, nova, show me a sign.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: Yep and it says 1962 to 79.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: Nova Chevy two parts, a big old Nova at the top of the catalog.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: Things like that are not coincidences and they're not mistakes.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: They're on time and they're on purpose.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Spirit lives on.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: And spirit is always trying to tell you it's got your back and and everybody's okay but still miss you nova definitely still miss nova.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: I just met all again.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: Guys, thanks for sharing this with us.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Um, this is the first since I started this podcast.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: This is the first catastrophic thing that's happened to our family.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: So it was good that we've had ups and downs, but it was good to get on here and just jam from.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Hey, things aren't always awesome, yeah, and the emotion's intense.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing some time, thanks for sharing some space, thanks for listening to our journey and story and it's just a pleasure to serve you guys.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: Hope the drill method, hope we tied it in in a way that really helps you understand how we can take pain and transmute it and when there's darkness in your body and grief is darkness in the body when there's darkness in the body, when we let it out, it's replaced by light, and that's how we change grief to joy and love.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: All right, until next time, no.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: And I was following us on socials.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: Keep up with things that we have going on.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: Mike's got a new book coming out August 19th.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: Inner World Outer World Kind of starts into this drill method stuff, but doesn't go that heavy into it, yeah, I finished up?
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I finished up.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: I finished inner world outer world before the drill method existed.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Right, and I was.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: I was trying to figure out a way to teach it and the drill method was was born and uh, inner world, outer world talks about shadow work and also talks about, um, uh, release work and some scars, and this emotional pain is trapped inside, been teaching this for a long time and she didn't have an effective way to teach it.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: I'm excited that we have one now.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: All right, guys, love you, appreciate you, guys, and we'll see you next week.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: If you enjoyed what you heard and you want to learn more, go to wwwinnerwealthglobalcom for more tools and resources.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: You.