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Why the Most Helpful Things Are the Hardest to Give (And What to Do About It) · The Healthy Church Staff Podcast

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, you know what might help your youth pastor right now?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, a three month to battle.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe letting him hand off half his responsibilities to somebody else for just a few weeks.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe actually delegating that admin work instead of just saying over and over that you will at some point.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know this would help.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: He knows this would help.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: But neither of you can figure out how to make it happen.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: So instead, you keep having the same conversation about burnout, and nothing ever actually changes.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: If this sounds familiar, you're in the right place because we're going to talk about that today, right here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Todd Rhodes, one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffing.com.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, before we get started, if you haven't already done so, head over to dot com and take our free 2026 Church Staff Health Assessment.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's absolutely free, and your 10 minutes will help us put together the most complete information on church staff anywhere in the country, and we're going to release our brand new report in January.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: So head over there to churchstaffassessment.com.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I was reading some research this week on pastoral burnout.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And one thing kind of kind of stood out to me.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: The research is really pretty clear on what relieves pastoral burnout most effectively.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if you can guess what it is.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Go ahead.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'll listen.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Nope, nope, it's not a day off.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's not a staff retreat or a mental health series.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Here are the top three things, okay?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sabbaticals is number one.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, role realignment, and number three is real delegation.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now all three of these sabbaticals, role realignment and real delegation, all of those have something in common.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Here it is.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: They're structurally difficult, they're organizationally expensive, and they're emotionally complicated.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, they're hard to give, even when you know how they'd work.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that we a lot of times just default to what's easier.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, take the morning off.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, take the rest of the day off, even though it's 4 30.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe a coffee meeting to encourage them, or we send them a nice text to try and encourage them.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then we wonder why the burnout and the stress doesn't fit or it doesn't lift.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: See, here's what's really happening.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: We don't avoid sabbaticals because we're heartless.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: We usually don't even do it because of budget.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: We avoid them because we can't figure out how to cover for the person when they're gone.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: We don't avoid the role realignment because we don't care.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: We avoid the role realignment because we don't have another hire in the budget.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't avoid the delegation of tasks because we're control freaks.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: We avoid task delegation because we've tried it before and it just didn't stick.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of admitting that we can't do the big thing, we try to offer the small things and call it some progress.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And your staff member smiles and says, thanks, but inside they're really thinking, we've tried this before, this probably won't help.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to talk to you today about your guilt because you're doing the best that you can with what you have.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I know that.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So what I want to talk about is what to do when you can't do the full thing.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't give a sabbatical yet, just say that.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: We can't do it right now.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't pretend the long weekend is the same thing.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Say, hey, I know what you really need is a sabbatical.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: We can't do that right now, but here's what we can do.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you're not doing the whole thing, you're still doing some small things, but that honesty in and of itself will help relieve some of that pressure.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you pretend small things are big solutions, your staff just feels gaslit.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And if your staff is already burned out, that gaslit feeling is not gonna help any, believe me.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: They start thinking they're the problem for not feeling better.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, start moving toward a high yield solution, even if it's slow.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't do a three-month sabbatical, maybe start planning a four-week one for next year.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't hire somebody to take half the role in some kind of a realignment, maybe realign 10% of it this quarter.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can probably do that without doing the full realignment.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't fully delegate, maybe pick one thing this month and hand it off to a real authority.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Progress is gonna beat paralysis when you're talking about staff that are overburdened and starting to burn out.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Progress beats paralysis.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your staff doesn't need perfection, but they do need some direction.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, number three, stop offering low-yield solutions as if they're fixes.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, can I be frank with you?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: A pizza party is not a burnout relief strategy.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, a staff meeting about self-care is not about structure, is not structural change.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: These things are not bad.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: They're just not sufficient.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And when we treat them like they are, like we pat ourselves on the back and said we did something, we accidentally communicate that your burnout isn't serious enough to warrant any kind of real change.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the message that we absolutely don't want to send, but it lands anyway.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what this looks like in real life, I think.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, sit down with the person that's really struggling, that burned out staff member, and say, hey, I've been thinking, I've been thinking about what might actually help you, not just what's easy for me or the church to offer, and then ask them something like this if I could give you one structural change in the next six months, what would make the biggest difference?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then just be quiet and listen.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Don't defend, don't problem solve.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Just listen.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then say, hey, I can't promise all of that right away, but here's what I can start working toward.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then, and this is the key, actually start working toward it.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Put it on your calendar, budget for it, bring into the elders.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And when your staff sees you moving in the direction of real relief, even if it's slow, it changes that emotional weight that they're carrying.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because hope isn't just about feeling better today.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Hope is believing that things can actually be different tomorrow.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, here's your bottom line for today.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: The most helpful things are hard to give, but that's a big but.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna do it.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: I know you want me to do it, but I'm not gonna do it.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: But partial movement is better than perfect paralysis.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, you can't fix everything overnight, but you can start.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that's exactly what your staff needs to keep going.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: All right, thanks for listening.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: If this helps, share it with another church leader who maybe needs to hear it.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Reach out to me with any questions or any ways that I can help you or your church or any of my colleagues here at Chemistry Staffing.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: We'd love to hear from you.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Podcast at chemistry staffing.com.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And before you leave, actually, you're gonna leave, when you leave, I'd love for you to head over to Church Staff Assessment.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Churchstaffassessment.com.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it takes about 10 minutes, absolutely free, but that's gonna help us and me personally as we put together our research report for 2027.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right, that's it for today.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Hope you have a great day.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: We'll be right back here tomorrow on the Healthy Church Death Podcast number.