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Angela Chee: How to Boldly Own Your Only · The Bold Lounge

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: My name is Leigh Burgess and I will be your host.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: If you're anything like me, you love hearing inspiring stories of people who have gone on bold journeys and made a positive impact in the world.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: This podcast is all about those kinds of stories.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Every week, we'll hear from someone who has taken a leap or embarked on an extraordinary journey.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: In addition to hearing their stories, we'll also learn about their bold growth mindset that they use to make things happen.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Whether they face challenges or doubts along the way, they persisted and ultimately achieved their goals.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: These impactful stories will leave you feeling motivated and inspired to pursue your own bold journey.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I believe everyone has a bold story waiting to be freed.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Tune in and get ready to be inspired.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Today I have Angela Chee.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Angela is a keynote speaker, media communication coach, podcast host and the author of the Power of the Only.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Own your Voice Thrive in Any Environment.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: A former TV news anchor and reporter with over 20 years of media experience, she's worked with top TV stations from Los Angeles to San Diego and hosted shows for networks from E Entertainment to HGTV and more.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: She helps her clients own their only and be you-amplified, clear, confident and connected on camera and off and step into your leadership.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Angela is a trusted speaker and an emcee for organizations like Microsoft, cisco, intel, jpmorgan, chase and more.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge, angela.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be here with you, so we're going to jump right in.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: We were talking a little bit in the green room about boldness and all the different ways that we could be bold, but when you think about your definition of bold, what does it look like?
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, I thought about that for a bit and I think there's different levels of bold in different parts of our life.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: But what I really truly believe bold means is not just taking the opportunities in front of you, but stepping up when others say there are none, or that hasn't been done before, or that's not how we do it, and I think it's really important.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: There's a distinction.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Right, we're bold when we get excited about certain things, but there is a level of boldness that happens when you grow up with, maybe, voices or you know, I grew up as an immigrant child where they go, no, we don't do that.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Right, when, when things are being told that you're not able to do that and still doing it anyway.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: That is a level of bold that I think is really important.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Almost like the you should do this, you shouldn't do that, you could do this, you couldn't do that.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Some of the naysaying that happens in our lives too, I think some of it might be expectation of what someone expects of us to do right Along with you know, someone just not believing and you're saying I'm doing it anyway or I'm going to try anyway.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Yes, and having you know it doesn't happen overnight, but having that that thought process of like you know what they say, it's not possible, but you have that inner knowing that you know what.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but I'm going to go for it anyway and I think that's a greatness of the bold part?
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: So is there a moment in your life or your career you know, in the sense of where you listen to the voice of your own self-belief and the inner engine, and went for it anyway, when someone said maybe not or not?
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, I was reflecting back.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: You know, like I said, there's different levels of boldness throughout your life.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: And this one pivotal moment early in my career, when I was a young rookie reporter in a small market I write about it in the book a little bit but in Bakersfield it was like market 100 something and I was trying to make it to the big leagues.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: And I remember them telling me you know, my agent says oh, there's no, you're interviewing for these mid-level markets.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: They're not ready for you yet, so just stay where you are.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, and I go.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: What about LA?
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: They go no, there's no openings.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: And so.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: But then my news director came to me and says you need to stay four years or nothing.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: And I nothing, wait, excuse me.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: And so I made the conscious choice to I'm not staying for four years.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: I believe, you know, the safe route would have been just to take what they gave me.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: I really had to believe in myself because at that point I wasn't making a lot of money.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: I didn't have any more money.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: I didn't have really any options.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Except I knew that I had worked.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: I had worked in Hollywood.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I had worked.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: I had been a lead anchor at that station for two years.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: I had worked in other small markets.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: I knew I had the assets and I knew I had the ability.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: So I was able to be bold.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: But it was scary because I didn't have money, I didn't have a job and literally a week before my contract was up I got a call from KCBS in Los Angeles and that was my big break and I made it to the big leagues within a week of almost being unemployed and I was betting on myself.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Anyway, I was able to get to the top market, even though my agent said there's no openings.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I worked so hard and I got myself in the door.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: But it could have turned out very differently and I still think I would have stepped up and been bold and been unemployed for a while.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're committed to yourself, right?
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it was a turning point for me and I think that was important.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: But that was really early on in my career and I remember being so scared.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure I was going to ask you that.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: So a great segue to my question is really around fear.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: So one of the things that I've been studying for my second book is really around what is our fear response?
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Because the first step of being bold, or one of our you know steps that you know that has risk, or a step or a choice that we're making in being bold, you know there's fear, that's there.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's fearlessness for me, and what I've read and researched it's not that.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: How did you move through what you know?
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: All the logical side of you is like, if you don't do this, then these are the things that could happen.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Because you know, you know, at the base of it, fear is there to keep us safe, right, but how did you move through it?
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Because sometimes that's the hardest thing for someone even to take a step.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Now I would say, on the continuum of bold, because it's, you know, from a quieter state of bold all the way up to louder.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Yours was louder, right, but inside there were those quieter moments of bold happening.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Yes, and that was a loud boldness.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: And I thought back to the quiet moments of boldness where you just raise your hand a little bit or you put your toe in the water or you just say yes to yourself.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be these big bold moments.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: That just kind of stuck out for me because it was a pivotal career moment.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: But bold happens in the everyday, in the very simple choices that we choose ourself right over something that other people say you were asking about fear.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: I think that fear is a natural response to doing something different, right when you show up.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: You know a simple way to look at fear is when you know I'm a communication coach, so I coach my clients.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: They say, well, I can't do that, or I have a fear of being on camera, I have a fear of speaking up, and that fear is there to guide you because it's the energy that allows you to generate.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: So that's the first thing I say.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: To overcome fear is that fear is a signal to you that your body is getting ready for something that you're not necessarily used to right, and so sometimes not in all fear cases, but in those cases where it's more of an internal fear it's like reframing it to that fear is actually helping you channel all your strength and your energy because you're getting ready for something big, versus it stopping you.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: That's your body's natural reaction to something.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: But then there's sometimes where you do need to listen to your fear, because maybe it's your gut telling you maybe you're going in the wrong direction.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: And that's why it's hard, because we all have to have discernment on when can we read?
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: The fear of this is a natural protector that I need to.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: It starts asking questions of us, right, Like, if you have fear, you ask the question is this real, what are the consequences, or is this imagined?
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Based on my past experiences and I think it's hard sometimes to distinguish, but that's why I don't want to dismiss people's fears, because sometimes people's fears are very valid and I think as we start to become more self-aware and do some of the inner work, or as we progress in our careers and gain a little more wisdom, we can start to discern between what is an actual fear that we need to start building protections around versus what is someone that voices have been planted within us.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: That actually is something we can overcome easily.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well said.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: And I think the other thing that goes along with that and you kind of touched on it was you know what is our gut telling us?
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: And I think a lot of the things that I've learned about bold decisions and bold decision making, because, as I've coached people and organizations over the last five years, the one thing that is challenging is that initial move, because I think every step that you take after that, you gain confidence, you gain agency in your life and you feel like I can figure it out.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: You know, you start really pumping up, I think, your belief in your ownership of the moves that you're making.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: But I think the other thing that we do sometimes is number one.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Like you said, don't push away the fear, Don't ignore it, Understand it, and you gave a great model of how to understand what that fear is or where it's coming from.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: But secondly, like, what is our gut telling us?
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: You know what is that?
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Because I think what I've also learned is a lot of the times we dismiss it or we don't listen to it, maybe with the justness that it should be listened to on certain times.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I think that's what's evolving.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: I think you know you wrote a beautiful book, a bold book and a lot of leadership books, business books.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: They just say okay, I did it, you can do it too.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Just do this, you know, just go do it.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: It doesn't work that way.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: It doesn't work that way and that's why you know for you, for you know you address, you know powerful women and people doing amazing things.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: But we have more nuance.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: We understand things and feel things at a deeper level.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: That sometimes you can't override those emotions Doesn't mean it needs to stop you, but we need to understand and I think that's the new level of leadership that people are starting to embrace a little bit more that it's not just push through everything.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: It's not just I'm fearless and I'm going to do it.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: It's like no, I have fear.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: What is valid about this fear?
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: What is real, what is not?
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: What can I actually do?
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Okay, that part's not.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: You know, that was my old baggage.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: I can let go of that.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: That's actually a real fear.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: We need to make accommodations for that.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: Like, if you're a business leader, like we actually need to figure out what is the contingency plan, what are the things that we need to do?
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: What are the things I need to put into place.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: I think it's fear is an amazing thing because it allows us to see what others don't see, and I think leaders that just go for it and don't think about the consequences.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you do need to do that and just be bold.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: But I think women especially have a stronger leadership value that we haven't seen before or valued as much before.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: That, I think, is really important.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's the other thing.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: I think being bold or even some of the things around the five principles of standing in your value and really being on purpose with your actions, I think sometimes I think when you're being bold, you are really thinking through things in a very pragmatic fashion, like it's not a myth of being bold is that it's very reckless, and I think when you're being bold, you are really thinking through things in a very pragmatic fashion, like it's not a myth of being bold is that it's very reckless, and I think being bold is actually one of the most thoughtful things that you do over time.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: So I think you're kind of hammering in on that as well.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: So, when you think about that moment, that professional moment that you had, how did that play out?
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Like you know, this happened.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Then this kind of the pieces started to flow for you in your career.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: What did that lead to?
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: By making that, bold move.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, you know what was interesting.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: It set a very important precedent because I had always done the right thing right Do this, do this, you know, in small markets and TV news.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: You know I was that typical type A girl in high school class president, got good grades, get into college, major in this, intern, do the things.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: And I actually talked myself out of television.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: In the early years I worked in Hollywood.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: I knew I wanted to be around TV, entertainment, media, majored in communications, but I was scared to go to a small market and really just do it.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: I was like I need to make some money.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: So I did kind of the small market thing on weekends in Palm Springs and then I finally made the bold move and moved to a smaller market, was an anchor reporter for a few years and I go okay, I have a lot of experience at least to move to the next market.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: So what happened after that is that I believed in myself because I had the experience.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: If that happened two or three years ago, I might not have been as bold because I hadn't had the full experience of knowing that I could do it.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: So that's like you first make the smaller bold move, I had the experience.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: But then after that I really did believe in myself.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: I believed in my work.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: I had backed it up, I had done it, and so when someone told me no, that's not possible, it made me ask why, like, why?
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: And I wasn't sure I was like am I being too bold for thinking that I can do this, that I could have the audacity to call up LA.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: When my agent said there was no opportunities and you can't that, I had the audacity to call myself, get myself an interview, get into the station and then actually get the job, like I had no idea.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: So that validated for me that I wasn't imagining it, that I was qualified right, and walking into my boss's office when he said, well, what are you going to do about the contract?
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Literally wanted me to stay for four years or no contract, like I would be out of a job.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: And so it literally became my biggest break, and you don't usually jump from market like 120, 30 to market number two.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: It was a huge jump and it was like everything I had worked for in my life and I don't know if you know my backstory.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: The reason it was so poignant is that when I was eight years old, I watched Connie Chung on television.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: That was the reason I went into TV news.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: She worked at KCBS Channel 2 in Los Angeles, eight years old, watching her.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Then I chickened out.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: I didn't go into news because I was scared, wanted to make money, and then I came back to it.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Then I almost was unemployed going.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Why did I waste all these four or five years Like it's worth nothing?
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go back home unemployed, live at home with my parents and start over.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: And then I got to the top market.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: It's the same station that I watched Connie Chung on.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's incredible, yeah.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: So that's what I'm saying.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: Those little moments mattered.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: But it gave me kind of that fuel and I think all of us can do that too.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: When you take those little jumps it doesn't have to be the big, bold one that I made you get validated, right, you get validated and that allows you that.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: I'm not imagining this.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: I can believe in what my worth is without the external validation and still try to do it anyway.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: And I think it's in those little moments where we do things where people say that's not possible, and then it works out, and then you back it up with more.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: You don't just do things without thinking that you can't, you know, but you back it up with the experience.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Or if you don't know, you get the experience, or you understand it more, and then you keep going and it gives us that little push.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: So I think from that point on I learned to trust myself more.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: It doesn't mean the challenges were over and there's much more in the TV arena, but that gave me a little bit of fuel to go.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: You know you need to trust yourself.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so when you think about your book, when you wrote the book, was the idea that you wanted others and it could be specifically women to really start doing these things sooner in their career, or what made you, you know, write this particular type of book at this time?
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, it started about six years ago.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: I was at a mastermind with other women, and onlys aren't just women, but in the corporate world, with the McKinsey Report and the Women in the Workforce, they used to call the only woman on the team or the only woman in the room.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: They called them onlys.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: But for me, an only has a broader definition.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's anyone that sees, hears and believes beyond right, that sees what others don't, and they're really the thought leaders and the innovators and the ones that are changing the status quo.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: But how it started was people kept asking me oh, what's your background, what's your story?
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: And I go.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: When I was the only Asian girl, when I was the only Asian reporter, when I was the only speaker, you know, as your women's speaker.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: There's a lot more fabulous women speakers now, but even like five, 10 years ago, there were not a lot of women on stages.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: I was always with a lot of men, right, and so I was the only one and I realized, well, but there's power in that, and we looked at each other and we're going.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she's like you're always the only one and I go.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: But there's power in that, because what would happen is, after I would speak, I would come up, a lot of people would come up to me.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: It's like I'm the only one.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: I can't do it.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Why can't I do it?
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: And so I just saw this dichotomy.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: There's these two schools of thought when you're the only one, it's a weakness, it's hard and I know it's hard, it's challenging, it's not fair.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: But then there's these other people that I would meet when they would embody these traits of yeah, I was able to push forward because of that or that taught me something or this.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: And I started to see this difference and I wanted to bridge the gap and I felt like that being the only was not a weakness, it was my greatest strength, even though it was hard.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: And I was like this is what I think, and I set up five principles.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like how did I do that?
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: And I thought back through my life these are the five things that I think allowed me to step into my power of the only.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: And then I spent the next four or five years interviewing onlys that I thought embodied that, from different industries men, women, people of color, people with disabilities.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: You know people that thought they were too young, people that disrupted industries and really thought what's the through line.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I feel this.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: But is there a pattern?
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: And so that is what the power of the only is about is like.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: But is there a pattern?
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and so that is what the power of the only is about is like how can we harness all the things within us, allow us to see, feel and do beyond, because I believe the onlys, the ones that think this way, are really what the future needs.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: And it's not going to be easy, but I wanted to create a framework and a toolbox and stories to help empower those that feel like they can't, but feel like they have something.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: You know that they're the only one and they want to do it.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: And I'm like your cheerleader in the back saying I can't solve all the world's problems, but you can, together, collectively.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: And this is all my research, all my heart and soul, and all the stories of all the people who did it before you, and I hope that it helps them.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Awesome.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: We're going to jump into the five principles and talk about those particularly and we're going to start with.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: So the five principles are own your opportunity.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Number two is power.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Number three is voice.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Own your communication and then own your future.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: So those are the five principles that we're going to jump into.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Can you give us an overview of those and how they connect and almost like click together at times like a cog and a watch?
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, Owning your opportunity is a lot like that definition of being bold.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: It's not just taking advantage of the opportunities that are presented to you, but showing up and believing in yourself when they say that hasn't been done before or you can't do that or that's not how it's done.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: It's owning those opportunities that you may not see because society maybe said you can't do that or that's not how it's done.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: It's owning those opportunities that you may not see because society maybe said you couldn't or that's not how it's traditionally done.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Owning your power is knowing that you already have it right, that you have the agency inside you to show up in that way.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Owning your voice is not just knowing that you have a voice, but also what are the voices that you have internally as well as externally, the way you speak to yourself, the labels within your inner voice.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Owning your communication I believe communication and connection, especially with the future in AI, is the number one skill that we need to all master and obviously as a communication coach, so that's literally my more tactical trainings of how do you connect with people, how do you show up, what do they want, how do you create that connection.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: It's my U Amplified Connection Formula, so it's kind of the.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: If you were just pull that principle four out, it would be a communication book.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: And then principle five is how do we own our future?
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Because I believe, when you own your voice, you own your power, you own your opportunity, you own your communication.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: It's exhausting, it's hard right.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: I've given you all the tools.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: You're like okay.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's a lot.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Right, that's pretty heavy.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot to take on, and it's only when you're trying to break barriers and do different things.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: It does require that of you.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: So, in order to own your future, we have to move from surviving to thriving, and that includes in our mindset, but also kind of excavating.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: Where are we at now?
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: You know what were the things in our past that we need to let go of and move into like seeing those and also what are the thriving tools to allow us to keep going, because we're all at different stages and levels.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: So, you know, I've I was talking to you about being on book tour and being a little tired.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: I go back to that thriving chapter because all of us need to regenerate, and so the thriving part is really, really important, because it's not just about protecting your energy, but also having the tools to recharge and also creating a vision of where you are in your life.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Now, right, because each of us are at different life stages, I cannot apply the same formula of owning your power, owning your voice.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: When I was in my 20s, I don't know that I'd be able to do that same process that I did when I was in my 20s, and I don't have to right, we've earned sort of a different roadmap, but a lot of us don't recalibrate that roadmap.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, us don't recalibrate that roadmap, yeah they don't take the time.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people that I work with it's just like I'm so busy and I don't have time and I can't do this and I'm like, ultimately, that's your choice, no-transcript, to have to take a few moments.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: You know whether it's an hour or two or a week, you know.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: You know sitting with things so that you really understand where that fear is coming from.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: But doing the things you're talking about when you talk about ownership, and that's the O of the bold framework.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: So I love this because it's just so.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: It's so well defined of like, what does it mean?
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: To own it?
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: You know, like for me it was a lot of.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: I never owned the good things or the positive or the things that went well.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I was just always owning like what didn't work, how do I fix it?
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: And that led to my burnout because I was just over focused on things that didn't work and skipped everything that did.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: But I think the way that you define it, it's layered and it's also, I think, connected to the next steps, the things you're going to do and, you know, moving you towards your goals.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: But, like you said, it takes work.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: It takes effort, yes, and I think it's so important to layer it because I think, like I said, traditional books are like this is a business book, this is a leadership book.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: How can you be a leader in a business if you don't have all the tools in your toolbox?
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: And so I could have kept it really simple and just did a communication book, because that's what people ask me for in my coaching and in my speaking.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: But the thriving aspect you can't do all those things if you don't have the toolbox to continue to go back to and see that it's okay.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: I think the younger mentality is like I'm going to get to the top and I'm going to push everything away and no fear and just do it.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: And now we realize it's not that straight of a line, and so all of us have to recalibrate.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: At different stages in our life, you know different pivotal moments.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: I'm in midlife right now, oh.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: At different stages in our life, you know different pivotal moments.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: I'm in midlife right now, oh, my goodness right.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Motherhood was a transition point for me where everything shifted.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: You know early career stage.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: So I think it was important for them to have a toolbox of thriving tools and a coaching.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: I do a lot of coaching exercise at the bottom, too, to create a new vision, not based on what we were taught or the patterns that we created, because I was very successful and I created a very successful pattern.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: But if I did my current life the same way, I did my young life and my news days, waking up at 3 am, working, working, working everything was a thing.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: There's no way I'm just laughing at that 3 am comment because I guess it was like two or three weeks ago, so writing next book, working on my dissertation, and I was like I'm just going to pull an all-nighter and I'm 53.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: So I haven't done an all-nighter in a while.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: I did them quite often or got up super early, certainly in my twenties, like probably a lot of people, but it was like I ended up going to bed at five, so I stayed up until five and you know, then I like paid for it the next day, not to say like I was totally, you know, incapable of doing anything.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: But it was just interesting when you say, like applying what you did before to where you are now like it, just it doesn't fit, it doesn't work.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: But here's the thing.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I have a confession to make.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: I did that, too because I had a book deadline yeah, so I don't recommend that to anyone.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: And I literally wrote in the book as I'm writing, these thriving tools, I am not using them Sometimes and I wrote a line in that because I felt very disconnected, because I literally pulled an all-nighter to make the deadlines and I was writing about thriving and I'm like, no, no, no, this is not on, this is not.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: Do not, do not learn from me.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: But this is honest because and I wrote, I go, but there's times where you may have to do things that maybe aren't in alignment to achieve something, but the difference is you know that you're doing it.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, get back in alignment.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: I made a conscious choice as a 50 plus year old, same as you, that like, oh, this ain't good for me at all and I have all these tools, but I have a mission and I was driven and I wasn't going to have my editor wait for me because I didn't finish the words in time, so she wouldn't have it for the weekend or whatever it was.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I made a conscious choice to destroy my body Just for a night.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just for a night, but I paid for it, but you know.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: And then, same thing, I think my kids came down for school and I was like, oh my goodness, I'm still up and I was in a zone, but I got it done and I went to bed, I recharged and then that next week it was like yoga, acupuncture, meditate, like I needed to regenerate.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: When you go astray, the difference is when you own who you are, you have the tools to get back on track and how to get back there.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: So, yes, I am with you in that all nighter club.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: That might be the author thing too.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know Authors.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: I think authors know exactly what we're talking about and other people so, but other people, you should not be pulling all-nighters.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Check yourself if you are, before you wreck yourself on that one.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: I love that reference.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: We start rapping.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: So when you think about the five principles, is there any one or another that you see more challenges happen in women than not?
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: I think standing in our value and our power sometimes is that's been challenging for me, especially just things that come up for me like imposter syndrome and people pleasing and perfectionism those are three things that I have going on that I know I have, that I have to be attuned to.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: So sometimes, especially when I first started out five years ago, like just standing in my value and who I was and what I was worth and my expertise, and you know it was a little nerve wracking but I did it.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: But I think when I think about these other ones, like that would have been harder for me.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: I think you know earlier and still every now and then I don't think like you get this and you get five gold stars and you're done.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: It's different levels and then you shoot for higher goals Exactly right, you know, and you shift who you are and what you imagine, and so we kind of need to up-level.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: Owning your power is one of them.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: About being able to take up space, right, I always say, like, are you able to take up space?
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: And that's so important from a communication standpoint.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I'll give you an example of rushing through your words when you talk too fast, da-da-da-da, because you're afraid to take up space, like even when my communication training, the number one thing you can do is to pause.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: It's more effective, like you know, that's how I just slowed down.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: I naturally talk really fast, so we're having a conversation, having fun, but you know, the consciously taking up space is also having the freedom to not say anything, right, and the power.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: But I think what I wanted to touch upon is the biggest thing, I think is voice, owning your voice, and what I meant by voice.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: I heard you talk about imposter syndrome.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: There's a chapter in owning your your Voice where it says don't is about labels Be careful of the labels that we put on ourselves.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: And so several years ago, I used to teach you know overcoming imposter syndrome.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: I don't believe in that word anymore, I don't use it anymore, and I think what happened is that there's a whole chapter on labels where I debunk executive presence, imposter syndrome, as well as code switching, because I think when we start, words matter and when we start to put labels on things that we naturally should experience, when you're doing something new, when you're doing something bold, sometimes you feel like you don't fit in, or maybe we just don't fit in because we really I think it's a high percentage.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Honestly, yeah, we just don't fit in.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, where I've been flying, like I have not felt like a part of the club a bunch of times, you know.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: You know, from that perspective, and I think sometimes when we're doing things that are bold and have risk, I think it does at times irritate other people because they're not actually doing those things that they wish they could.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: So it's not actually about them.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Or you know if people are naysayers or not really supportive or those types of things, because it does happen.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Like, I'm just real about that.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't see it.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: They don't see what you see, and that is the power of the only sometimes.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you have to be.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: I even have chapter in there.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's okay that you know there's still value in being in the room.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: Even if you don't think you fit the room right, there's still value.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: You change the room by being in the world and I do think people judge you because of that.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: You know, maybe you're doing it just to show vulnerability or to share or to be open, and there's certain situations to, of course, do that or to use the language around it that's helpful for you.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: But I think you know what happens is people do like make a judgment, or they're like, oh well, you're this.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Then if you're that, you know, it's almost like when someone says they're an introvert, they like, oh well, they can't speak in public and they don't, they can't be on stage, and those types of things.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I was like no, that's not even it, you know.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: So like I've started to stop saying that word, I just say like I power up in smaller groups.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, well, you know, and it's interesting, I of an introvert is, but I'm also a speaker and I went to all those conferences that we talked about and that's probably.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: I got drained.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: When I went to South by Southwest and conferences back to back, I was like, ok, I need to recharge.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: But imposter syndrome I want to touch upon that a little bit.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying that if people feel like an imposter, it's not real.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: I'm saying that the label that we create for ourselves perpetuates things that may not necessarily need to be spoken.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: And the interesting thing, it wasn't supposed to be imposter syndrome, it was imposter phenomenon.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: I'll just go into it a little bit.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Two researchers in academia interviewed a bunch of women in academia.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: I think gosh, it was in the 50s, it was an older report and it was called imposter phenomenon.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: It was actually a research study and women started bonding they go wait, you feel that way too.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: And it became a connection point and it started gaining traction of like imposter phenomenon.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: This sounds a lot cooler than syndrome.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, I don't know when it evolved.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: It made people feel closer, right Imposter phenomenon.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: And then what happened with social media?
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: And just you know, it kept generating and generating.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: It became a syndrome.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: It's not actually a syndrome, it's just a label that when you're in a group where you don't fit in or you feel like you don't measure up, you have a syndrome.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: And then it became kind of cool.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: People started putting it in their trainings and then there's websites about it and there's this and this and it became a whole thing.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: And what made me upset is that the younger generation we know we have it and we talk about it, and even men talk about it.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: I have it too.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: You know, you're not alone, but a lot of these young women, because they like the labels and all these videos about it.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: It perpetuated something that may not necessarily be there.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: It's like, oh, I'm always an imposter, I'm imposter.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: And it just starts to create this language in our head.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: And if you know anything about neuroscience, when you start to say you label so many things, then it starts to internalize it and then it actually comes more true and has a harder time overcoming it.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: You start working toward it, right yes, instead of just saying, yeah, I don't fit in.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Either I don't feel like I fit in all the time and there's a reason.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Sometimes if I don't fit in, maybe I don't have enough experience for this one area, then I need to go get it, or sometimes these are just my voices that say I don't fit in.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: I actually do fit in, but I'm creating these things.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: But I also did put another woman in there that loved imposter syndrome because it made her feel connected.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: To see other women and other people that say they have imposter syndrome made her feel better.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: So I don't want to discount those who actually say no, I like knowing that other people have it too, so I don't feel alone.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: I just wanted people to be aware of their language and the labels that they put on themselves so it doesn't hold them back from a subconscious and neuroscience view, when they just want to fit in, everyone's just using that word and it becomes so cool, but it's actually.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: There's a lot more at play than that.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, 100%.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: And again, I think, the less we label ourselves in the sense of just even how we speak to ourselves, which, you know, even in my book, it's one of the things we start with, as the activity is like, what do you say about yourself?
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Like when you say I am, like, what do you truly say and what should you be saying?
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: And is it, is it true what you're saying about yourself?
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: Because sometimes we speak so, so harshly to ourselves versus how we would speak to our friend or a family member.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: So I think, in that sense, really what imposter syndrome is doing is creating a connectedness between feelings that people have, and who doesn't want a connectedness of like, I'm not alone?
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: You know, at times, some of the times, we're being bold, like, you know, you don't fit in and it's just fine, you know, because you don't want to.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: I know and that's the power of the only is getting to that point of how do you earn your worth?
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Where did that voice come from?
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: And knowing that, yeah, I don't fit in right now it doesn't feel good, I'm trying something new and then, if you get validated, that's what's hard Sometimes.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: You're not going to get validated, then you need to try again.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: You don't want to do, you don't want to put yourself.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: I actually don't believe in too much failure.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: A lot of people say you fail to the top and I go.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you have.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: You have to have a few wins in between to build up that self-esteem right.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: And like I feel like constant failure have some wins.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: I agree with you on that Well, no, but I've just seen a lot of people talk about like how do I get strong?
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: I fail, and then I do it again, and I do it again.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: And I don't think everyone's nervous system is wired that way.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: It can do that.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: Some people can do that.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: They're like you know the bigger thing, and then you do the bigger thing.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like what you talked about how are you being bold?
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: I feel like maybe you take those small steps, get a few wins going.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Ah, I do trust myself, I can do that and then you keep going and that is helpful for your brain.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, speaking about the brain you write about in the book, people waiting to be ready, and that is something I think that happens as well, like they get held back to make their bold move or to take that step or to say yes to themselves, when everyone else might be saying, maybe what do you think is one of the things that we could do differently, or maybe a pattern that we could identify that we're, you know, potentially stopping ourselves because we think there's this sense of readiness that's almost like I have everything, every box, checked, which I really feel that's not possible.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: When you're making bold moves, everything's not checked or guaranteed.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I struggle with that too.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: One of the things I talk about there is there is there a thing that holds you back, or a sentence you say to yourself?
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: And the sentence I always say to myself that I struggle with is am I getting it right?
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: Am I getting it right?
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: And so I flipped it to like I trust myself, I got this right.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: So when my voice goes into, am I getting this right?
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: Because I'm the eldest daughter, I'm a type A personality I like to get everything right, check off all the boxes, and so, about being ready, is that I think you need to honor sometimes, and this is where discernment comes in.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: I write a whole chapter about discernment.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: The original thought is that, of course, you shouldn't say I'm not ready, you can wait too long.
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: Right, you can take too many courses, you can do too many trainings, you can practice too many times and then say I'm not ready, I'm not ready.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: Right, like if you've had a goal and you keep doing the things over and over and you actually are ready, but you keep holding your.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: That's when fear is not a real thing, right?
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: If you actually look at your, let's say, you're getting ready for to write a book or you're getting ready for a promotion.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: If you actually sat down and looked at yourself, are you ready?
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: And you actually are ready, but your mental thought is like I'm not ready, I need to do this one more thing, that one more thing.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: Is that one more thing going to actually change the outcome, or is that your fear holding you back?
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: That's how you can analyze.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: It's real.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: Sometimes, when you're not ready, it may be your body telling you it's not the right time and we also have to listen to that and that's where discernment comes in.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: That's why it's really hard to give blanket advice, of saying, if you're not ready, just push through it and break through your fear.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: Because what I've found in my midlife wisdom is that sometimes there's a reason I say I'm not ready, whereas when I was younger, I was not ready was because of fear and I had to get it perfect.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: I've overcome that perfection.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: The source of it's not from fear.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: The source of it now is do I have the capacity?
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: And why don't I have the capacity?
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Why am I taking longer on this?
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Why am I saying I'm not ready?
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: Which I think is interesting?
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: Because there was a period of time where I had the podcast.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: And they said, oh, do the book.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: And I said I'm not ready, not because I was scared, it didn't come from a place of fear.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: I actually didn't have the capacity because I actually had done the research and knew how much time and energy it would take and how much my soul wanted to do it in a way that served, not just get it out.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: And so I said I'm not ready yet.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: I remember I lined up some publishers like I'm not ready, and then they'd be like are you?
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: ready yet.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm not ready yet, but it wasn't coming from a place of fear.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: It was coming from like I don't think my life capacity right now, with engagements that I already have and two teenagers and my husband's travel and this and this.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: You know, and it wasn't excuses If you actually want to do something, you can make it happen.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: But I needed to listen to those things.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: So I just want people to say like, yes, don't keep saying you're not ready.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: Figure out what will get you ready Exactly.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: And if they're real, actual barriers, then listen to them and say what can I do to eliminate those barriers?
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: But if they're just coming from like you just want to make everything perfect, then it's probably time to step up.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah, it's time to just move, just take the smallest step you can take, even if you just go forward.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: In that sense, when you think about all the women that you've coached women and men that you've coached when it comes to communication and the principles, is there any particular blind spot that comes up that you see over and over again that you could help us be aware of in advance, along with reading the book?
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a reason I call it you amplified.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: I remember it was early on in my coaching, before I had created the framework.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: I was teaching my client.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: I said you need to be like you.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: And he's like no, I want to be like so-and-so.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: He's like well, you're so good at that.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: I want to be like you.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: And I go, no, you want to be like you amplified.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: Because we were doing some on-camera work and I was like you amplified.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: I'm like yes, that is what you need to be.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: And so what I want people to say is that times we search for models and mentors are good, right, role models, mentors, a framework of like.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: I want to do that Now.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: That's how we see what's possible is good.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: But I think a lot of times people say like, if I'm going, you know when I was younger, I'm going to be a corporate person and so I had my Jones New York suit on and my stockings and my heels.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be on camera.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: So I need to talk with a deep voice and be like a news anchor, you know, and I think people have gotten away from that a little bit more.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: I think the younger generation is very themselves.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: They're very comfortable on camera.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: But I think for a lot of people that I train, a lot of times will come they're like oh, I'm not ready for that because he's you know, my boss is so good, he's so bold, he's so extroverted.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: I need need to be like him and I'm like no, you can be an introvert and still be good on stage and command your team and do that.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: So I think the biggest level is that have the role model that you aspire to, but you don't have to follow the model or the framework and change your personality and your strong suits to fit it because you think that's what you're supposed to do.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: Right, so be you, but amplified and be able to change the dial of like pivoting, and that's the goal of my communication training is how do you embody who you are, what you stand for and how you want to show up into the world?
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: And then how do you amplify it?
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Whether you're speaking one-on-one, whether you're on camera, whether you're standing on a stage, we can change the dial, but the core of who you are once you're standing on a stage, we can change the dial, but the core of who you are, once you're aligned with who you are, does not change.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: And that's why a lot of communication work.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, we can do media training, we can do practice interviews, we can talk about that.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: But the true alignment of being you amplified is knowing who you are, what you stand for and how you want to show up, and then bringing the tools to it right, being able to pivot for whatever communication situation.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's doing it and also, I think, staying in alignment with that, I think, is really really important to me what you just described, which I think you did it so much better than someone just saying be authentic.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: I know, I think it's been too overused.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: Like we started at the beginning of this conversation with someone, a lot of books just say be this way or do this, or you know there's more to it than that right In that sense, and so I think what you just described is the formula for being authentic and what that looks like in you amplified.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: So I love that as a guide for folks this book.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's hard A book can be.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: I wanted to go deep because I feel like there's a lot of nuance and a lot of things that we talk about discernment that we're going to need in the future.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: That is different than what's out there.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: Nothing wrong.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: I've learned from so many mentors amazing content, amazing things but I think we're at a pivotal time where we're sick of the same old track, the talk track.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: Right, overcome imposter syndrome, be authentic, just show up and it's like okay, but how, how, how?
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: But this is happening and it's and it's honoring that.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: It is hard, it's honoring.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: There are things that are out of our control, but how do we do it anyway?
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: And how do we do it from our source of you know, people want to be seen for like that.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: This is hard, there are things that are out of your control, but you don't have to wait for the world to change to step into your greatness.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: And I wanted to go deeper into this book and not just have it be a you know, oh, be more confident, own your only.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: It's a little bit deeper than that and I hope people get a chance to really tap into that.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it totally resonates throughout the book, from you know, top to bottom, when you're thinking as we close out.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: If you were standing in a room of onlys right now, what would you say to them in the sense of like what they should do next, if they're feeling like they're just not ready for that next bold move or they're just unsure about themselves, kind of in that mode of like, should I, shouldn't I?
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: Something's got to be different.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: What would you say to that room of onlys?
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: You know right now, because we're at such a different time.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: If you asked me this maybe a couple of years ago, I'd be like, all right, let's do this, we're going to rally together and we're going to go for it.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: I actually think it's go inward right now for a little bit.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: I think you, we have to be really.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: I would, I would almost, if you're younger in your career, I would start in the beginning.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: I think for people like us that are kind of we've done it, are successful, I would skip to the end, in the thriving part.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: What are the things we need to do to protect our energy, to focus, to have extreme clarity and generate enough energy to do all the things in the beginning of the book, right?
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: So I almost feel like we have to, and that's what I did after my book tour.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: I was like how can I regenerate?
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: And I think you know you can read the book any direction you want, but yes, if you said, if I was in a room of onlys that are at that cusp of going for it, really get an alignment right.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: Who are you?
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: What do you stand for?
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: How do you want to show up in the world?
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: And that's the vision part, but also have our toolbox ready, because right now, gosh, you know you, you're bold, you've written the book.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: You know a lot of people are tired and some people have given up, and I don't want that to happen.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: I don't want people to burn out.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: I don't want them to give up.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: Only our voices still matter.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: Change will still happen.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: We can still break through the barriers.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: But if you've been an only and you've been showing up, you're a bit tired.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: And so I would say how can we recalibrate and then have clarity and focus on the things you do have control over?
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: Where is your zone that you want to focus on?
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: Because I get distracted too.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: I have this zone, and then I'm like I'm going to say this and I want to do this and I want to do that, and I'm like no, I want to do this and I want to do that.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, I want to do that, and those are important, but that's not my zone of genius.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: How can I elevate someone else where that is their zone of genius?
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: And so that's kind of why I wrote the book is because I want to change all the things and I want to help everyone, and I can't do that because I don't have the capacity right now, but I do have the capacity to honor who I am, to focus on the things I can really make a difference in and then support all those around me that are doing amazing things.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: So that's what I would say.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so if you're feeling tired, you're in good company right now when it comes to that.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: So I think, in the sense of why you are, I think there's a multitude of reasons.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: I think that it could be, but I think you know you started off with really talking about protecting and choosing who and what gets your energy so that you have that ability to renew and get back to thrive versus survive, and I think the other things you talked about are really the focus and clarity that you can have in your life when you do that and then then you can slow down to speed up moment Right, it feels like, oh, I should be doing this, I should be doing that.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: Listen to the inner voice of why should you?
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: You know, like there's no rule here, just reevaluate.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: So I think that's great advice.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: But I also have to tell you that it's like you know, I struggle with it too and I remind myself.
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm saying I read my own book, because you know, I honor that, that struggle inside you, where it's like no, no, and so right, it's important.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying that like, oh, I just recalibrate and I get back to normal.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: It's like, no, it's hard, it's hard but like true focus and protecting our brains and the information that we bring in and our energy is going to be the number one skill.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: I think moving forward is protecting our energy and our brain.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, all right.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being on the Bold Lounge.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: All the information about Angela, her book and her communication, coaching services and more are in the notes.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: I so appreciate you Absolutely.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: Through the continuum of bold stories vulnerability to taking a leap you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important story.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: By highlighting these stories, we hope to inspire others and share the journey of those with a bold mindset.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: We hope you've enjoyed this podcast and look forward to sharing the next bold journey with you.