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The Fifth Hour: How About Them Onions? · The Ben Maller Show

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  Speaker 1: Kubbooms.
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  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
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  Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
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  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
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  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
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  Speaker 1: Wow.
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  Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
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  Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
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  Speaker 1: In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with me, Ben
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  Speaker 1: Mahler and Danny g Radio, who is producing this podcast.
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  Speaker 1: We are with you again. The audio Sweatshop does not stop.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Just finished a few minutes ago, the Overnight Show. I
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  Speaker 1: took a brief, well deserved, well deserved time out and
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  Speaker 1: then right back in, right back into the fun. Here
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  Speaker 1: we are in the podcast studio, the remote podcast studio.
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  Speaker 1: A week from Black Friday. Oh yeah, very exciting. On
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  Speaker 1: this podcast we have the Malar Kitchen Diaries, Bias Babies,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: the phrase of the Week, and an added bonus, an
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: old friend returning. We'll explain what that is. Time permitting.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Time permitting on this podcast, but begin you and I
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  Speaker 1: together with the Malar Kitchen Diaries. There's something about the kitchen.
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  Speaker 1: It's in every home, the kitchen, but it's something that
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: feels like a there's something there that feels like a stage.
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  Speaker 1: Now I'm not talking about the Food Network something like that.
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  Speaker 1: More like a one man Shakespearean tragedy, at least when
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  Speaker 1: I'm involved starring yours truly, And yet again another example
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  Speaker 1: of me questioning some of the choices I've made in
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  Speaker 1: my life. I have learned often, and I share these
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  Speaker 1: stories with you when bodily things go wrong because of
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  Speaker 1: medical conditions or whatever. But when I get into the
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  Speaker 1: kitchen and I get my hands dirty, sometimes they are
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  Speaker 1: dirty with blood, blood blood blood. That is the malarculinary
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  Speaker 1: institute of learning. From a strict tuition policy, you are
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  Speaker 1: going to pay in pain, oh the agony. And I
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  Speaker 1: don't know whether you cook or not. I'm I don't know.
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  Speaker 1: I've heard from people that do. I've heard from people.
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  Speaker 1: I eat TV dinners, I eat frozen food. I got
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  Speaker 1: an air fryer. That's all I need. But there's that
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  Speaker 1: moment in every kitchen, right before you slice, sear, or
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  Speaker 1: flame something, where, at least for me, I hear the
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  Speaker 1: Anthony Bourdaine voice, the late Great Anthony Bourdain voice like
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  Speaker 1: a ghost haunting you. It's over your shoulder. And in
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  Speaker 1: the Anthony Bourdain voice, I hear the whisper good food
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  Speaker 1: is all about risk, and when it does come to
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  Speaker 1: the Malar Culinary Institute, the risk level is somewhere between
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  Speaker 1: Evil Knievel jumping the Grand Canyon and deciding I'm gonna
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  Speaker 1: make my password for all of my banking information and
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  Speaker 1: my life savings. I'm going to make my password password
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  Speaker 1: one two three ABC is what my password is going
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  Speaker 1: to be. Now, this is not cooking. This is full
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  Speaker 1: contact food preparation, and I'm going to prove that to
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  Speaker 1: you right here on this podcast. So we approach this
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  Speaker 1: with adrenaline, heartburn, medication, and the understanding that in any
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  Speaker 1: moment in the kitchen this could become an episode of Dateline.
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  Speaker 1: You don't want to be on an episode of Dateline. Now,
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  Speaker 1: all of this Michigas started out innocently enough in a
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  Speaker 1: land far far away, unless it actually happened just a
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  Speaker 1: couple of miles away. But this was a chance, a
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  Speaker 1: way to honor my dearly departed mother and her epic
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  Speaker 1: legacy that she left behind. Is the baker and the
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  Speaker 1: family food maker. And all that. Now. Originally, if you've
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: been following the podcast, you know that this was something
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: that started with cookies. And I'd like to thank the
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  Speaker 1: people that Crumble Cookies who have been price scouging for years.
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  Speaker 1: Over there. My god, it's just a little bit of
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  Speaker 1: dough and some chocolate chips. What are you doing? And
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  Speaker 1: they're great. I love Crumble cookies. They're outrageously priced, and
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  Speaker 1: so I made a knockof version. The wife had gotten
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  Speaker 1: me some Crumble cookies and I really liked them, and
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  Speaker 1: then she told you, She told me how much they cost,
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  Speaker 1: and she tried to high that from me, and then
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  Speaker 1: I found it and I said, oh my god. So
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  Speaker 1: I'll just make some ripoff versions of my favorite Crumble cookies.
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  Speaker 1: And so that was the baby step, if you will,
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  Speaker 1: into the domestic Benny Bliss domestic Bliss there. However, it
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  Speaker 1: did not stop there. Like any gateway drug, the chocolate
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  Speaker 1: chip cookie led to other cookies, and then that led
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: to the Mallard what I call the crack Cocaine menu
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: at the Malar Mansion, which I've talked about a lot.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: My favorite foods, the smash burger on the griddle, grilled onions, peppers,
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  Speaker 1: all that welded to the griddle like it's owed it's
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  Speaker 1: owed you money or something like that. The Philly cheese
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: steak that could end up solving world peace and causing
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: everyone to have heart disease at the same time. Double daily,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: double daily double. Then there's the Mallard Pizza, which briefly
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: was Eddie Restaurant. I hope that guy Johnny Oh's listening
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: in Grand app It's Michigan. We briefly had the Mallard pizza,
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  Speaker 1: which is garlic onion, bell pepper, generous helpings of garlic onion,
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  Speaker 1: bell pepper. It was the Mona Lisa of garlic, onion
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: and bell pepper. And then the crunchy gringo taco. May
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  Speaker 1: my friend Alex Long departed rest in peace. There the
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: crunchy gringo taco that would make any reasonable nutritionist openly weep.
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  Speaker 1: All right, And so in the last I'm not sure
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  Speaker 1: how long it's been been, about six months, maybe a year.
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  Speaker 1: Time flies. So entering the kitchen has been swarma that
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: came into the picture, that beautiful Mediterranean marble, the spinning
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: pillar of poultry perfection, chicken shwarma. Truth be told, it
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  Speaker 1: has become a Saturday night ritual in the Malor mansion. Well,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: what a life. I watched some college football, maybe a
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: crappy NBA game. I got that going on. The marinade
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  Speaker 1: that sleeps overnight. I talk overnight. This thing sleeps. So
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  Speaker 1: you get the chicken ready, you pound the chicken a
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  Speaker 1: little bit, you get everything ready, all the spices and
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  Speaker 1: all that stuff, and the marinade, and it just sits
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  Speaker 1: there in the fridge and sleeps like it's at a
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  Speaker 1: four star hotel. And that's it, and wake up and
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  Speaker 1: you're on your way. Sometimes I do it overnight, two
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  Speaker 1: or three hours in the oven. You rotate every thirty
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  Speaker 1: minutes or so, like it's auditioning for dancing with the stars.
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  Speaker 1: And finally, in order to get chicken shwarma. It's one
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  Speaker 1: thing to put the chicken on the spit, but you've
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  Speaker 1: got to slice it, you gotta shave it. You've got
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  Speaker 1: to present the shwarma the way that it deserves to
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  Speaker 1: be presented, like our brothers and sisters in the Middle East.
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  Speaker 1: So this is where you get your testosterone juices going.
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  Speaker 1: And that is also where the quantum leap took place.
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  Speaker 1: There was a metamorphosis in the malar kitchen, when Benny
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  Speaker 1: the Baker became Benny the butcher. You see the new
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  Speaker 1: chicken shwarma toy that I decided to get in a
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: moment of I don't know what I was thinking. I
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  Speaker 1: got this chicken schwarma restaurant style buzz saw. I don't
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  Speaker 1: know any other way to say it. And I bought
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  Speaker 1: it in a moment of culinary confidence that was unwarranted
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  Speaker 1: on the Amazon. I found it, wife bought it, got it,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm happy to report that I nearly turned my
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  Speaker 1: left thumb into a side dish. Would you like some
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  Speaker 1: thumb with your schwarma? No, I'm good. I could just
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  Speaker 1: take some rice, but we have a nice chunk of
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  Speaker 1: a thumb. Would you like that with some sauce? No,
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  Speaker 1: I don't want that with some sauce. So the blaze
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  Speaker 1: of the circular kitchen saw the shwarma as it was
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  Speaker 1: described on Amazon shwarma buzz saw. I said, easy to assemble,
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  Speaker 1: easy to clean, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
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  Speaker 1: So I pluged this thing in. I'd opened the box.
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  Speaker 1: I plugged this thing in. I put the blade. There
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  Speaker 1: was an extra blade. I put it in and as
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  Speaker 1: I was futzing around trying to figure out how exactly
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  Speaker 1: the Shwarma buzzsaw worked, somehow, some way, my left hand
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  Speaker 1: that got in the way, and it was I didn't
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  Speaker 1: even notice at the time. This thing was so fricking power.
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  Speaker 1: I didn't even notice. And then I looked on the
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  Speaker 1: inside but not the back of my knuckle. I don't
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  Speaker 1: know what the inside thing is. You know, whether you
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  Speaker 1: bend your thumb and the part where it bends forward,
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  Speaker 1: and it looked like a fighter jet had buzzed by
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  Speaker 1: the tower. It was fast, it was violent. My thumb
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  Speaker 1: felt a little off. And then I looked at it.
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  Speaker 1: I said, whoa, I had the precision of a neurosurgeon
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  Speaker 1: with some anger issues. It was. It was a gusher.
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  Speaker 1: And as this is going on, I'm putting my hand
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  Speaker 1: under the sink trying to wash whatever is there away.
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  Speaker 1: So the wife calls me. Now, normally, you know, you
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  Speaker 1: pick up I picked up. Crisis going on. She's like, hey,
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  Speaker 1: how's your new toy. How's your new toy? I said, Oh,
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  Speaker 1: it's great. The gadget's going very well. Here. It's a
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  Speaker 1: great little toy. There just just absolutely wonderful. And without
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  Speaker 1: missing a beat, I said that, and I said it's great.
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  Speaker 1: And I said, well, I just had one little thing,
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  Speaker 1: I said, little paper cut. And why did I say that?
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  Speaker 1: I said that because I know how my wife's brain
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  Speaker 1: is wired. If I had said, well, I think I
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  Speaker 1: might have just cut the half of my thumb off
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  Speaker 1: on my left hand. Oh my god, it would have
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  Speaker 1: been pan at the disco and all that stuff. And
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  Speaker 1: if I just say a paper cutses, Oh, you get
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  Speaker 1: paper cuts all the time, and you say that because
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: sometimes survival is about not telling the truth immediately. You
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  Speaker 1: just got to give the truth adventures, but you don't
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  Speaker 1: get right of it. So I hung up, and I
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  Speaker 1: immediately thought, man, do I need stitches like this? I
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  Speaker 1: probably should get some stitches. I should have signed a
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  Speaker 1: waiver before opening up this monstrosity, and at least now
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  Speaker 1: I was able to stop the bleeding. I put some
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  Speaker 1: a lot of pressure bandages, and I likely could have
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  Speaker 1: used maybe three or four stitches on my thumb, but
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  Speaker 1: that would have caused a whole other set of issues
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  Speaker 1: and all that stuff, and so I avoided that. I
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  Speaker 1: should have signed some kind of waiver before again opening
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  Speaker 1: this at least now, though I am the proud owner
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  Speaker 1: of what I call symmetrical scars, the daily double of scars,
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  Speaker 1: because I did. I'm not to tell the story on
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: the previous podcast, but about a week prior, I was
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  Speaker 1: the soux chef at the Malar Mansion. I was cutting
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  Speaker 1: onions at the Malor Mansion, chopping them up right, Chopping onions,
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  Speaker 1: something that I do a lot, and I don't tell
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  Speaker 1: anyone I eat a lot of onions. I don't like
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  Speaker 1: vegetables other than onion, bell, pepper, and garlic. And that's it.
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  Speaker 1: And so my right pointer finger, my right hand, was
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  Speaker 1: getting a workout. How dare you My right pointer finger
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  Speaker 1: nearly severed while chopping onions, nearly severed while chopping onions.
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  Speaker 1: And so this week the left thumb sliced from the
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  Speaker 1: Schwarma buzz saw. And now I'm one dice garlic clove
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  Speaker 1: away from joining the witness protection program. You know it's
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: going to be bad when your hands starts looking like
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  Speaker 1: they were coached by your hands. Both of them. They
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: were coached by Nathaniel Hackett. Remember Nathaniel Hackett, the numb
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: nuts who coached the Broncos. Yeah, so this Swarma Buzzsaw.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: I've got good news for Ferg Dog and Alf and
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: mister nice Guy and some of the other big fans.
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  Speaker 1: So this Shwarma Buzsaw will be coming to an Amazon
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  Speaker 1: return bin near you with an added bonus. An added bonus,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: you can get the malar hemoglobin as I left. I
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: think I washed it off, but there's some DNA I'm
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  Speaker 1: sure still on there. Now, what's next in the malar kitchen?
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: You asked, Well, I'm glad you asked. The plan is
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  Speaker 1: with Black Friday coming up next week, to buy a
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  Speaker 1: custom sharpened for war and ready for battle shwarma knife. Now. Sure,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I might lose the arm. I might lose the arm.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: It also might make the greatest fifth hour podcast of
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: my life. Because the reality is King with Ben Mahler.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: That would be me talking to the third person. Is
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: not for the fan of heart. There's no Michelin star.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: The only star I have is the star of a
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: band aid, a Johnson and Johnson band aid, the owner
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: of the Jets. Maybe a little barbecue sauce off the side.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: So there's that now. I promise you that this podcast
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: in about two or three months. Hank in Tokyo he's
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: jotting down notes right now, and he's like, how can
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: I weaponize this? How can I weaponize malor slicing his
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: thumb and almost cutting it off. And I'll wait four
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: months and I'll bring this up when Malou does a
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: monologue about the Chiefs, because I like the chiefs and
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: he's gonna rip the chiefs and I'm gonna go sit
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: by that and another Anthony Bourdain. I want to bookend
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: this with Anthony Bourdain, the great celebrity chef. He was
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: right as well. He said the way you make an
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: omelet reveals your character. Right, he said that what he
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: should have said is the way you slice swarma reveals
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: your morality. And that's it or mortality. I think I
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: said morality mortality. Oh boy, it's early, and yet every
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: every Saturday and this has been going on. I lace
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: up the apron. I'm like a prize fighter. It's Benny
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: the Mallard time Maller in the kitchen. It's three hours
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: of verbal boxing, because that's the deal. That's the deal
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: in the kitchen is the deal in sports radio. You
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: sharpen the blade, you take the risk, and you pray
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: that you still have your thumb Comeunday. Keep in mind
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: this food I make on Saturday, I make a lot
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: of chicken, a bunch of chicken, stack it up as
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: far as far as we go, and that's my food Monday,
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Tuesday and Wednesday, so three days of food. My wife
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: also eats that while she's at work. And then I'll
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: make some rice and don't tell anybody that I'm eating
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: somewhat healthy because I'll also have some cookies or something
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: I make, so it's not that healthy anyway. So the
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: plan is, you know, I'm gonna get that knife eventually
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: and some other stuff and I'll be good to go.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I'll get the marinade and all that. And
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: I'm sure that the knife wants my social Security number,
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: so I'll give it that. So there you go, turning
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  Speaker 1: the page.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Though.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: We had a viral exchange between a social media user
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: and the Grock AI chat bot that took place the
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: other day, and this has been going around. It took
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: over the micro blogging world by storm by storm. In
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: a now deleted post created by the AI Grock device,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: there was a comment comparing Lebron James and Elon Musk
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: now rolling Stone, which justin points out as a liberal
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: rag Justin and Cincinnati. So they had the story, this
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: thing's been bouncing around. I just happened to see it there.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Somebody sent me a link to it, and it was asked.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: The GROC was asked how Elon Musk stacks up against
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Lebron James, and Grock responded by acknowledging originally that Lebron
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: dominates in raw athleticism and basketball prowess and all this stuff,
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: and he's a genetic freak and blah blah blah the
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: chat bock chet bot and then made a claim which
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: has gone viral. That said, but Elon edges out in
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: holistic fitness sustaining eighty to one hour weeks across SpaceX
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Tesla neuralink demands relentless physical and mental grit that outlast
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: seasonal peaks lot there. So Elon has since broken into
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: commentary on this. He talked about it, He refuted the
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: rather insane to the membrane claims, the outlandish claims about this,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: and Elon then penned on the micro blogging site x
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: formerly known to Twitter, he said, earlier today, Grock was
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: unfortunately manipulated by adversarial prompting into saying absurdly positive things
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: about me. For the record, I am a fat retard,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: said Elon. Elon Musk. Okay. Groc has also made similar
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: responses with over the top praise for Elon Musk. In fact,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: there's some examples here that I read that he picked
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: Elon Musk over pay and manning for the nineteen ninety
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: eight NFL draft. Also claimed that the millionaire could fight
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: the former heavyweight chippieid of the world Iron Mike Tyson.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: So these AI conversations have since sparked conversation and rayak
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: shan across all social media platforms, going on and on
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: and on and on and on, and people are freaking out.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: There's always people freaking out. There was one dude who's
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: like at Cornell and he gave a statement saying, these tweets,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: while they're mostly amusing, r a reminder of a serious matter.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: There is no such thing as unbiased AI. Okay, an
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: unbiased AI tool. So the question with a number of people, again,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: this is the matrix, So take it for what it's worth.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Who knows if these people are actually freaking out or not.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: But for the purposes of this part of the Fifth
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Hour podcast, Let's just assume position that some people are
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: freaking out because an AI chatbot said Elon Musk. Well,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: they would take Elon Musk edging out over Lebron James
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: in a matchup. So there are people that are a
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: little annoyed BYuT this is this a big deal, a
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: little deal, or no deal? So after a minutes long
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Mallard deliberation, I have determined this is a harmless deal.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Of course, AI is not unbiased. I love that there
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: are people who are freaked out. Oh my god, I
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: can't believe the AI is not unbiased. What a nightmare.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, really, like, you live in the same
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: world I live in. You raised by a bunch of wolves,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: but not timberwolves because you'd be a loser. Humans are
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: not unbiased, every man, woman, and child. You get to
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: a certain age, including the Dali Lama and the late
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: great Mother Teresa. Bias is not some glitch in the system.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: It is absolutely baked into every one of us. I
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: am bias. You are biased, right, It's part of the
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: human condition. Every lens we look through every sound that
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: we hear. If you're blind, like Stevie Meatballs or incod
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: terror blind, Scott or any of the guys that are
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: in the blind Mob of we have the top blind
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: fighting squadron of any radio show. You think about the
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: heavy hitters that we've got mentioned some of them there, Stevie,
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Meatballs again, Blind Scott Inkad Terror, Emmett the Blind Seahawk fan,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: our buddy in Bakersfield, Andrew in Bakersfield part of that group.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: And so you look at all that, it's like they
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: could hear sounds and but they're biased, right their brihs
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: because of this. It's all based on your upbringing, your
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: situation in life, the way your parents taught you, culture education,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: even little accidents along the way, like the time that
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: I had an issue coming back from from dinner in
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: the car and uh, you know it just that helped
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: shape who I am. But think of it like this,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I like, think of it like a fingerprint. No two
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: are the same, but everyone has one, right they don't
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: know fingerprints are the same, but everyone's gone. Your world
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: view is unique, and it's still a print that shapes
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: how you grasp reality. What is reality? I don't know
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: what reality is? What is reality? And so you see
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: the game different. It's like it's like home field advantage
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: versus going on the road. Some people and athletes love.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Some guys love going on the road, shutting people up.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Other people like, no, I want to stay I want
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: to stay home. I want to have my bed, I
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: want to have everything like that, And they can handle
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: the whole environment. They have problems with the people cheering
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: against them, and they don't like the different stadiums and
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: the rituals and all that stuff and so, but that's
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: based on perception, and so you get a bunch of
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: information that that becomes who you are. It's like people
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: talk about cloning, and yeah, you could have the same
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: genetic makeup, you make a clone like Tom Brady's dog.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: The issue is that that'll never be the same because
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: what makes you you, as I learned from from Doctor Seuss,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: is that every place you've been and everything you've done,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: and every in my case, every monologue about the Cowboys
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: or the Dodgers or the usual suspects, it's all in
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: the catalog. And a recreation will not have that same
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: life experience. And there's a world where Elon Musk, for example,
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: use him as an example, there's a world where Elon
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Musk does not become the most powerful business mogul in
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: the world, worth trillions of dollars. That there's a world
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: where he ends up as a janitor and he ends
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: up in the Janitorial Olympics that we are going to
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: do the housekeeping Olympics that we talked about in last
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: week's episode of The Fifth Hour podcast. There's also a
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: world where Lebron James never ends up playing basketball and
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: doesn't play sports at all, and just ends up becoming
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: some kind of middle manager at a Applebee's in Akron, Ohio.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: And there's his life, and that's it. And so the
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: paradox is that even when people try to be objective,
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: they're still choosing what is important to them as relevant.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: That's the same that people have a media biased And
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: I love how certain people are we're not biased it,
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: you are. Everyone's biased right now. Some people just own
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: it and wear it and they're like, oh, yeah, we're biased. Yeah, absolutely,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: come on now, we're biased. And then other people are like,
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: oh we are fair, and no, you're all right. Meanwhile,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: time for the phrase of the week. The phrase of
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: the week. The phrase of the week this week, as
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: submitted by Scott in Florida formerly in California, but he
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: left the People's Republic of California for the Free State
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: of Florida. So Scott writes, and he says the phrase
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: social butterfly. I want to know about social butterfly. So
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: that is the phrase of the week's social butterfly. So
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: this originated ittle research on this. And you know, from
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: the metaphor of a butterfly flitting from flower to flower,
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: I guess that was a metaphor that was used popularly
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: back in the day. And this thing goes back. It
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: became popular social butterfly in the late nineteenth and early
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: twentieth centuries. It was a way to describe fashionable, outgoing individuals.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: You said, oh, that's a social butterfly. And just like
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: a butterfly moving very gracefully from bloom to bloom, a
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: social butterfly as someone who rather obviously just from one
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: conversation to a different part of the party and goes
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: to a different group of people and is bouncing around. Now,
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: the idiom began appearing in English around the late eighteen hundreds,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: so about the time Major League baseball became a thing.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: In the late eighteen hundreds and early nineteen hundreds, often
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: in society comes describing women who attended multiple balls, dinners
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: or charity events. Now, originally, originally this was a derogatory phrase.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't use it. It was derogatory.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: You can use it, you can use it's okay, I'm
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: going to be the pass on that. But originally it
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: suggested that someone was a shallow person, more concerned about
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: the perception the appearance than the depth of a connetch.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: And over time it softened into a more neutral, is
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: sometimes even positive descriptor of hey, oh, you're a verial
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: social butterfly. As an introvert, I am not a social butterfly,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: but today refers to someone who is charismatic and outgoing.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I do Benny Versus the Penny on YouTube. You should
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: watch the latest episode today at some point, make some
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: time help us out. Subscribe to the Benny vs. Penny channel. However,
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: on that show, I do it with Tom Looney, who's
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: a tremendous, tremendous extrovert, right tremendous, very charismatic and loves
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: parties and all that stuff. And no, no, I don't
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: go back to the Gilded Age in the early twentieth century,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: So I don't go back to that point, but I
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: would not be the one bouncing around parties and all that.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: And so for those that are into that, good for
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: you and all that shifted. By the mid twentieth century,
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: the phrase broadened beyond high society elites and has been
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: used for years to describe anyone who enjoys, mingling and
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: networking and is all about that life boss. So there
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: you go, and good luck. And if you're an extrovert,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: it's for you. Knock yourself out doubt time. As an
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: added bonus, we have an added bonus, added bonus. What
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: is the bonus? Well, Ryan and Shrewsbury Mass, who's been
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: up early. I don't know what Ryan's up to. He's
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: been getting up early to hear the last part of
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: the show, the live radio show. We thank him for
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: being part of the mattherl Or Militia and he's a regular.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: He said, I would like you to bring back Foody Fund.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: He heard the overnight show when I was ranting about
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Josh Allen and the bills and all this other nonsense,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: and he's like, hey, you got to bring back the
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: Foody Fund. So in honor of Ryan and Shrewsbury Mass
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: food he fun. Hooray for food.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: He fun.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: These are actual stories because everyone's got to eat now.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Jack in the Box is not everywhere. It's a regional
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: fast food chain. They have debuted a new Munch Better
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: Deal lineup featuring Gremlin's Midnight Meal. That's right, the Gremlins
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: which occasionally attack the remote studio of the Ben Malers Show,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: and I'm in the remote studio for the podcast. How
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: about that, as Mel Allen would say, So the meal,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: the latest meal, the new Munch Better Deals lineup featuring
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Gremlin's Midnight See. I would get this if it came
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: with the little Gremlin stuffed animal thing. The Gremlin's Midnight
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Meal for those that enjoy a lot of weed snack
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: after hours. Two Crispy Chicken strips, two Tacos, onion rings,
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: half Sea Fries, midnight Sauce, and a drink that will
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: cost you thirteen bucks. Thirteen bucks. It also includes Oh
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: here we go, a limited edition Gremlins air Freshener. Do
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: I need a Gremlins air freshener? I do not? I
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: do not. Also joining the lineup in the new Midnight
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: Snack Shake department a couple of different flavors they've got
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: different toppings as well. You got vanilla shake. It's blended
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: with M and M's milk, chocolate candies, Mini marshmallows, crunchy
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Graham cracker crumbs, and salty pretzel pieces. And that's available
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: from five forty nine to five ninety nine. And so
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: there's that. I guess this started in San Diego, where
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: Jack in the Box has they're headquarters. I believe they're
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: based in San Diego. So there is that. What else
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: do we have on Foody Fund? Little Caesars, which is
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: everywhere pizza pizza, They've debuted the new stuffed crunch crust pizza.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: What the f is that? What is that stuffed crunch crust?
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: All right, let's see what this thing is. It features
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: a large round pizza with toasted cheese stuffed crust brushed
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: with the brand signature buttery flavored garlic spread. There you go.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Does not does not seem bad? I this week was
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: where was I at? I was? I was at the
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: store and there was a pizza hut that was popping
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: and my grandfather, my mom's dad, loved pizza. I went
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: there a lot as a kid, Like that was a
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: treat to go to pizza and they served the pie
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: at the table and they gave you the It was
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: it was really cool. And I've not been to pizza.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I used to eat pizza breadsticks at Dodger Stadium because
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: that was my thing and it was relatively inexpensive and
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: it gave you a good amount of food and I
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: love that. And I used to bet people and they
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: would get me the breadsticks. Well, actually what happened there
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: was a woman I don't know if anybody knows who
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: she is anymore, Lisa Guerrero, who I think she's an
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: entertainment reporter now. But Lisa was in La TV. Personality
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: she did Monday night football did not go very well
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: for her. She was really cool to me. She was
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: a nice woman and we you know she was We're
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: going to like Channel two in LA and I was
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: on the Dodger Dodger beat, and so my move would
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: be to go get breadsticks, and she the pizza at
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Breadsticks and Lisa she only wanted like she'd always like,
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: kid me up, why can I get a bread stick?
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: And so I gave her one and it would piss
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: me up, but it was like the polite thing to do,
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: and I do it and then eventually she started every
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: once in a while buying me an order of breadsticks.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: But that was the last time. It probably goes back
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, five years or so, last time I
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: ate pizza. I think it's been about that long. But
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: it was. It was jop It was jumping and Little Caesars,
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: which happened to be and we're talking about Little Caesar
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: right now. Their debut. They debuted this new stuffed crunch
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: pizza thing acrust there. I was also at a different
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: store and there was a Little Caesars and that thing
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: was jumping too. So that's is that one of the
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: last really decent deals you can get is the pizza.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Little Caesars is really compared to everything else, light years
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: ahead in terms of affordability. Popeyes has launched the new
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Freddy faz Bear. I believe I'm probably butchering that crunch
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: menu featuring garlic palmersan chicken tenders, cheesy bites, and cupcake
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: cup that's right. They've teamed up with five Nights at
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: Freddy's two to bring you the fan a taste of
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: the franchise with this launch, and so you can get
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: that at Popeyes right now. Taco Bell debut's the Fan
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Style Menu, featuring the new California Crunch, Rap, Burrito Bliss,
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: and Catalina Craze. That sounds like a lot of stuff
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: that Devonte Adams of The Rams likes. Followed by over
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: forty thousand submissions by people that are fans of Taco Bell,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: they announced the debut of the new Fans Style Menu. Now,
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: this is only available through the app and at select restaurants,
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: at least according to this So there you go. Also,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Wingstop has debuted the new Fiery Lime flavor. Well isn't
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: that exciting? Yeah, there you go. And what else do
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: we have about? Well, here's some interesting fashion and food news.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: Venmo and Taco Bell have decided that belts should do
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: more than just hold up your pants and the world.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: You know, you don't want the world to see your underwear,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: They should also hold up your tacos. Yes, this this
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: is a move right out of the KFC department. KFC
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: does these things every once in a while where they're
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: gonna sell cologne that you can smell like fried chicken,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: that kind of thing, and it's just gag stuff. Taco
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Bell's like, hey, we want some of that action. Man,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: we want some of that action. So Taco belt is
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: a handcrafted belt made by an artisan who has built
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: a one of one piece in the past for people
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: like Kendrick Lamar Chabouzi and other people I've never heard
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: of who are apparently famous. But I'm getting old, so
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know who these people are anyway. A bunch
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: of celebrities, you know, a celebrity effort and all that stuff.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: And so this belt, which really looks about as ugly
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: as you could you could be, just really really ugly.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: They say it's a piece of art, and I guess
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: it is if you're Stevie Meatballs. It's a piece of art.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: For the rest of us, I don't know about that.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I don't know about that. They say, Hey, listen, it's
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: a play on the money belt, and instead of storing cash,
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: it guards something arguably just as important. The free Cantina
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Chicken taco wish you can snag on your future order
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: when you pay with Venmo in the Taco Bell app
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: This is through December thirty first through December thirty first,
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: So there's that and McDonald's. We'll get out on this.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: McDonald's is going full Grinch for the holiday season on
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: December Madness. We're not that far away from December here.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Thanksgivings coming up next week. December Madness is coming for
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: all of us. So Mickey De's deciding to embrace the story,
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: says the Chaos with a meal built for anyone who's
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: feeling a little grinchy, starting December second at select locations nationwide.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: We're not sure about our friends in Canada. We're not
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: sure about you guys in Canada, so check in on that.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: But the Grinch Meal a collab with Doctor Seuss Enterprises.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: I think I just mentioned Doctor Seuss earlier in this podcast. Anyway,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: Doctor Seuss Enterprises leans into the mischief instead of mistletoe.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: The star is the new Dill Pickle Grinch Salt Mickshaker fries.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: That is a mouthful. Let me say that again for
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: those of you in the back of the room. I
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: know Ferg Dog doesn't really care that much, but Alf's excited.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: The new Dill Pickle Grinch salt Micshaker fries a tangy,
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: briny seasoning you toss onto the fries yourself. It's the
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: first time that the US has gotten this. I guess
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: they've done it elsewhere. I'm good. I don't like I
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: could say I actually might try that if I ended up.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: It's just seasoning. It's just seasoning. I don't like the
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: texture of pickles. I don't like the I like the smell.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: I used to eat pretzel, pencil pretzel. I used to
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: eat little pieces of when when I was a kid.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: My mom, you gotta eat I just I didn't want it.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: I did not want any of the pickle. So we'll
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: put the pickle back in the jar. Remember when our
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: buddy Alf sentle giant box to me and Eddie because
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Eddie hates pickles more than I do, and he sent
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: us this big box of pickle chips and pickle snacks,
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: and we're good. All right, we'll get out on that.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to bed. Have a wonderful rest of
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: your Friday. Here, don't forget about Benny Versus the Penny.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: Bennie Versus the Penny season number one on YouTube after
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: a couple of years on NBC and then they whacked us.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: So we're back on YouTube. Check that out, first time ever.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: And it's week twelve, full episode up. We're off to
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: the one and oh start. We're undefeated. So far thanks
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: to the Houston Texans winning outright over the Buffalo Bills.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: I have a great We'll talk to you on Saturday.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: That'll be tomorrow, and then again on Sunday and later.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: Skater asta pasta, gotta murder, I gotta go