Latest / We Didn't Plan for This Podcast / 16. We Didn't Plan for the Holi-Daze Either!

Transcript

16. We Didn't Plan for the Holi-Daze Either! · We Didn't Plan for This Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Mike check mic check one two one two can we talk just for a second about what the fuck it takes just to do this yes I had to go and are you recording hold on yeah you're recording okay yes I have to go and walk my elderly dog so I'm I told you Stefan oh my god Elijah is here and Elijah is my is Annie's dog right yeah yeah I know I know Elijah the six year old German shepherd who needs a job and whose old lady just disappeared and he doesn't know what's going on with the grandma you know and and then my daughter's gone whatever so he is he's a lot right now he's a hobby attention yeah and then we're busy and we're going back and forth and you know to Austin and he was up there for two nights last week anyway Stefan is like fuck this dog I'm out so what is what is but what is Elijah doing to Stefan that's making him feel that way breathing he's just existing just because he's breathing it's just me right the kids are gone they've all moved out they've left me yep I'm here Denny's gone he's in school he left me everybody left you so I'm dealing with these damn dogs and they're driving me crazy so this morning I leave I gotta get I gotta go I gotta go to work yeah I can't be playing these dog games I give everybody their pills which mind you is now I'm like hollowing out the inside of a little turkey stick to shove the pill inside to to sneak it to give it to them because I cannot for the rest of their lives I don't want to be shoving pills down their throat with my thumb.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah you know exactly like forcing it down like twice a day for the rest of their lives.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_03: That's not a good existence.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: No so what so my dumbass is in the kitchen at five o'clock in the morning hollowing out little holes of into these turkey sticks so I can find hide their pills in there just to give them to them.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway I get through all of this nonsense I get through all of the other nonsense I have to go through just to be able to get my life going for the for the day and I go and I walk the dogs I take them all the way to the big dog yard because it's going to be a nice day and they need to have some exercise I take them all three over there and Damon and Elijah are all excited about it and Stefan is like you bitch I am a heavy dog and I don't want to move and so he made me like coax him all the way around I get all the way over there I get there put them in the yard I walk all the way back I come in I get my shake get my stuff walk out the door and almost trip over him down the stairs because he's already back he knows how to get out of that dog yard and we've never figured out how because he's a shepherd and he always stays and then his newest trick though is to just slide out of the fence somehow we don't know how I think you need to put your camera under my sister's like RV or something.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah you need to put a camera out there and then and he's just on the damn front steps so I was like I don't have time for your bullshit today Stefan get the fuck back in the house let's go now you go and he's like hee hee he's like the little kid who played hooky and he jumps inside and he gets his little lovey and he goes and he jumps in his bed and he's like see a bitch yeah this is what I wanted in the first place.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like send those other bitches out because I'm now late to get out the door to get to work on you knowing no I got home today and I let the I leave the door open in the back so the dogs can go out right because sometimes they play this game with me where like I open the door and they're by the door they've been scratching at the door they want to go out I open the door and they just stand there and look at me and then I shut the door and I walk away and then they'll scratch at the door.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then a lot of times I'll just walk outside and so now and like wait for them to finally come to the door again scratch at the door and then open it and let them out but now I'm like fuck it I'm just gonna leave the door open I have to pee I'm doing my stuff fucking Emma gets in the pool runs back in the house she takes like five steps in and I look at her I go what the fuck are you doing?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: And she just goes shit and she like ran back outside.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like oh my God I'm gonna murder you unbelievable you know what's funny is as soon as I started it and press record 1111 was the time on there even though it wasn't 1111 but that's because it still says it's like a different day because I turn it off and on so it doesn't fry.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like an old lady do you know do you ever realize that that people I I don't know if it's true or not but like I remember my grandparents would say like you have to unplug all the little appliances after you use them because they're continuing to pull energy and it's gonna run up your electric bill.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like but the tea kettle's off and she's like yeah but if you leave it plugged in it's gonna take energy and it's gonna run up your electric bill yeah I'm pretty sure that's not how that works exactly but I do remember yes yeah but I I remember being taught that I remember being told that all the time welcome back to We Didn't Plan for this where today we're discussing the holiday season expectations family traditions added social commitments the time the effort the energy the money and whether it's socially acceptable to opt out of some of these things this year yes and to get us ready and in the holiday spirit we're gonna start off by playing a game fun this is keep it kill it or reinvent it awesome okay we're talking traditions okay I'm I'm ready so you're gonna either keep the tradition kill it or you have some another version of it.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay I'm in that you want to share with the class cool all right so up first matching Christmas pajamas is that something that you've ever done yes every year every year yep and you're keeping it I'm keeping it now here's the thing in the past I would spend months before Christmas searching online for the perfect Christmas pajamas but having two teenage girls a husband and me it was very difficult because the girls want like short shorts and t-shirts right and then Brian and I both want like pants and a t-shirt and the girls don't like the same style that we like or that Brian likes you know that was more traditional or whatever.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: So it was always this like trying to find the perfect pair and last year I think I did it like I found these like purple pajamas that had Christmas ornaments or Christmas decorations all over them and they were from old Navy and I bought Poppy some so he had some too I think he wore them for like opening I don't even know if he wore them for anything.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe he did but uh anyway it doesn't really matter because I'm not gonna buy him pajamas this year.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry Poppy but the girls and I are gonna get pajamas and I'm going to have them pick them out this year.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I guess long story short I'm in but I'm reinventing you're gonna keep it yeah but you're gonna reinvent it.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly but I'm not gonna reinvent it there you go I just don't want them to pick out fucking satin I hate sleeping in satin I feel like I'm just gonna slide right off the bed like I just want like cotton comfy PJs not hot pajamas either do you know what I mean?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah it's definitely not cold enough here for hot pajamas.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's no way well and that's where I'm like why is it that there's not like a good t-shirt or like short set like Old Navy does a good job.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: We're not sponsored by Old Navy but we would love to be sponsored by Old Navy.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: We would take that um but like there is not a brand out there that makes shorts and shirts for the holiday season in all the cool colors and patterns they're always like slightly askew.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: They're not exactly what you want and I'm very picky about my pajamas I want I know I'm very passionate of say we started with a real like a ringer I'm like absolutely not we have never done that and you're like oh my God this is totally a thing.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah totally a thing.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: I love it but actually I think I should give credit to where credit's due Thanksgiving when we first started going to Portofino as a family we would get matching girl pajamas from Walmart and we would get like something kind of Christmassy usually and then that kind of bled into me doing it at home with our family.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: And there's some years that I haven't found them and I just I'm like whatever we'll just get like a t-shirt from old navy and we'll get a pair of you know shorts or something.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: But last year I think I was really good.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: One year I did really good too it was like super soft pajamas and they were cute.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway I'm obsessed nice next yeah cooking an elaborate holiday meal our time has been split between families other than ours like other than just Denny and I and the kids our whole married life we um spend Thanksgiving day with my mom my mom my mom and dad um my brother and sister and my mom starts preparing Thanksgiving ten days ahead of time wow she bakes all of she makes four different kinds of bread slices it to dry it out to crumble it to make the cornbread stuffing.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god she makes all the pie crust she makes all the pies from scratch she make I mean she makes the the their feather beds the dinner rolls she raises the dough and makes on she's a trad wife um my she's an OG trad wife it's a it's a whole ordeal yeah it's like a production it's really it's a big deal um I bring one to two dishes um and usually I do they're like dishes that I have tweaked for nutritional value.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_03: So that's what I bring.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_03: So the place that we work has a whole library of recipes.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah and um there was a really fantastic article that had a bunch of holiday recipes a couple years ago and I tried them and fell in love.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_03: There's one um sweet potato recipe that is sweet potatoes and pecans.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god it's so good.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: I love anything with sweet potatoes in it.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah and I it's like maple syrup.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's really good.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah you would think it would be me I cook all the time I cook every day but like or each week but um I the holidays you get to eat when when Denny and I were active duty um we always hosted we had we had all the strays yeah we collected everyone that didn't have anywhere to go um and then it was a big deal that's how Denny and I learned how to fry turkey oh wow and it's yeah it's really delicious and peanut oil it's amazing.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm afraid of that because watch too many you don't need to do that no unsupervised.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: No I don't need to do anything in the kitchen unsupervised really right especially not with a vat of hot oil to explode your pool in your backyard.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly no definitely not all right so to the next one.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_03: What about sending holiday cards?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_03: I have not done that shit since my kids were little I gave up yeah I gave up a long time ago I tried I had like the I had all intentions of doing well with those I think I made it through the early aughts of 2000 you know what I mean like 2010 11 12 13 maybe oh I didn't even think it that long I know yeah no my kid I did it when my kids were really little um when we were still in the military and we were you know away you know we would send um we would have a photo done and we would send a card with a picture of the family and the kids you know with like this is what we did this year da da da da oh yeah we we didn't getting up I gave that up long time ago and it was just it was too much that was of course it back you know then though we're talking early 2000s yeah exactly so this is everything is handwritten yep there was no chat GPT to help you fill out your envelopes no like you had to write everything out you had to do everything or you had or you had like printed them like we used to get them from um like a website and we'd have you know you put your pictures in and it's got the stock background and it was like a post like a postcard I would always do the postcard ones and I would just write you know whatever happy holiday season love the Smith family and then I'd list each one of us and that was it.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: And there usually be a picture of the four of us and then a picture of like each kid or something on the back or the dogs or something cute.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I oh I remember one year having like so many to send out because we were also sending out stuff for Brian's work as well and I remember like trying to print the labels out from the computer onto the printer you know yeah with the little stickers.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well I mean nowadays it's like mail is just kind of not a thing anymore.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know I got a couple Yeah but it makes it more special when you get one though Dudley that's exactly what's going to be just like you were saying I enjoy everyone I get exactly so I think it's even more special when you get one now because all you get is junk mail and bills.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly and bills.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly that's it you're right there's nothing fun and so yeah especially if you have like extended family or people you know in other countries other states you know that you're trying to keep in contact with it is a cool thing.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_03: It is I just personally am not going to pick that back up no in my open nesting era.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: That's yeah that's not a thing.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: I did get a card from a friend of mine Heather um Shogun the other day randomly she sent me a card just to tell me that she was thinking about me and that she's been thinking and praying for me and the kids and for Brian and I just was like really touched by that.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like to me that's somebody that I used to live down the street from in Atlanta when the kids were babies you know and here it is they're 17 and 20 you know and and and that's kind of what I really appreciate about the friendships that Brian and I built over the years is that we have relationships with people that are so close to our heart but we may not be in the same town with them for years and years but we're still connected.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I do think you're right like sending holiday cards is great.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: But for me I don't I'm not I'm out kill it.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_03: We're done how about buying gifts for every extended family member okay so like no I'm not into that.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like did you did you do that before this year?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well we've done it yeah for the most part yes but not as much over the years as everybody's gotten older and money is drying up as the years have gone on.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah we don't we don't we don't well I've never done that um we make gifts I make things every year and those are the things that my family gets are the things that I've made over the year.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: Soaking vanilla beans in vodka all year so I could making my own vanilla extract from the Texas Hill Country and then bottling it and labeling it and giving it you know that's one of the things so I do it's something that you're gonna use I'm not giving any money to China and I enjoy the process of doing it.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna do it for myself anyway.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_03: So I might as well share the things that I enjoy with the people that I enjoy.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well I loved what you gave me a couple years ago you gave me a really cool glass jar and it had the salt scrub in it.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I still have it's empty why'd I say salt sugar scrub it's still in my shower it's empty so I need to refill you need to bring it back you need to bring it back so it's magically refilled yeah I need to make some for me too exactly so that's that's what I do that's my tradition um really I think the only people that we purchase gifts for outside of the home are each other and the kids yeah and um I have two nephews yeah and that's it you know other than that and even them I mean I do make stuff for them it's just not not sugar scrub.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah unfortunately this year is going to be what we call a hard candy Christmas right absolutely there is I am feeling that for sure yes absolutely all of a sudden we've got multiple households people spread out everywhere and inflation's a bitch so guess what guys yeah mom went without some of her income this year because guess what yeah it's cancer yeah fuck cancer yeah um hosting the entire family have you ever done that not for well I mean kind of for Christmas a few times but not the whole whole family like basically our big holiday is Thanksgiving so we all get together for Thanksgiving and then we separate and do our own things for Christmas and then the Smiths will go kind of back and forth they used to go back and forth between you know Brian and I and Brent and Cheryl but hosting the entire family that's why we go to Portofino we rent condos on the beach we're all together unfortunately I won't have my own condo this year because I have no money because my husband had no will and I am in pretty much a financial crisis for the time being and I am just trying not to drown.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I am staying in the condos with my family and I'm excited about that.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to be with them and like a the piece of Thanksgiving to me is in any holiday is just kind of coming together and having that time.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: But what I love is like all of us have little condos and then the Smiths have their house so we all get to make our own dishes and then bring them all together.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: So not one person is burdened with everything.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: And Cheryl does some really cool things she always has a craft for the kids to do on Thanksgiving or around that time.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like we have some really cool Thanksgiving traditions and yeah yeah that's cool.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah the next one is traveling during the holidays you do that for Thanksgiving all the time because you go to Florida.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_03: So we drive yeah and now instead of it being four of us I mean we do we're on the road the whole time but we're it's everybody's in central Texas that we see.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: So we're you know driving an hour to two hours depending on who's doing what at what house when yeah um like when we were in the military again we hosted and everyone who didn't have if somewhere to be on Christmas that wasn't working they were at our house eating they we had gifts we did a whole thing um but we we're at that weird point in life where we are um I it's better for me to go to my parents right yeah um but then I have to go get my kids too.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah I'm still on uh kind of both ends but yeah at least my kids are out of the house but they're still like within an hour or two of me and so they can always drive to where we're wherever we're gonna be um I don't know what the hell this year is gonna have for us because we're in this limbo situation.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_03: My you know Denny is in the EMS Academy in Austin and killing it absolutely killing it but that's gonna you know just change things a little bit through the next couple of months.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm not sure what we're what it looks what it's gonna look like.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: How about putting up a Christmas tree so I love a Christmas tree.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: I am not a big fan of a real tree anymore.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I we opted for a fake tree last year.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: We used to have a a bigger um like a dining room not a dining room what is it called like we used to have a living room in our house in Atlanta that had huge ceilings.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: So we bought this big huge fake ass tree and it was great.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was super hard to put together you needed like an engineering's license to do it but it was a great tree.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: But then we moved to Chicago and we didn't have these huge ceilings and I don't even know what happened to that tree.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: I think over the years like the lights just started to go out on it and we finally just got rid of it.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: But last year we got a fake one and I'm actually really grateful that I have a fake one this year because I if I had to go out and buy a real tree by myself I wouldn't do it.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't do it this year.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm glad I have a fake tree so I'll decorate it.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um how about holiday movies?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_03: Do you watch any holiday movies the same ones every year?
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes so we watch we always watch Christmas vacation that's one of our favorites that's our family favorite I will watch Die Hard I'm not a huge I'm not a big Huge fan of It's a Wonderful Life.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: I still like the Christmas story.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um what is the other one?
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, what's the one that um oh fuck?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: I love this one too, and I can't think of the name of it.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's the one with fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: Something about like love.
• 22:22
  unknown: Fuck.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: What is that one?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Love actually.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's it.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fuck.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_03: Love actually.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_03: I could have helped you, but it was entirely too fun watching you squirm.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, really?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: The one with everyone in it?
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking at it.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: Did I say that?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: The one with everyone in it?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's exactly what I was thinking.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: No, that's what I was thinking when I'm willing you to get love actually, bitch.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: Love and actually Hello.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes, yes.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: What about you?
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_03: Uh definitely love actually.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_03: I watch um all the stupid Hallmark lifetime Christmas movies.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_03: I I pretty much watch, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_03: I totally I just put them on while I'm baking, while I'm cooking, while I'm making presents, while I'm making essential oils, whatever I'm doing.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_03: If I'm making soap, or I'm making sugar scrub, or I'm, you know, wrapping gifts or I'm making labels or stirring pots and clipping wicks.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, you know, it's just a lot of things.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_03: I love to bustle.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_03: I bustle a lot in the holidays.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I make a lot of things and I get a lot done.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I it's just, it's there's something very nesty about it for me.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's sort of like a nesting period, the 12 days of Yule.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and actually just the whole time from Thanksgiving until um until the new year, really.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_03: Uh we run through it all.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_03: Run through it all.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: I used to like to bustle.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: I used to be a bustler.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not really feeling very bustling this year though.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I was just about to ask you when the holidays don't look like they used to.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: So like this is this is the part of the pod that's like, and we're gonna take it down a little bit.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this isn't part that we can kind of make jokes about.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, sometimes you don't want to opt out because you're overwhelmed by shopping or cooking, right?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm not feeling overwhelmed by that.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I just want to opt out because the holidays are a reminder to me that my life isn't look anything like it used to, right?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's with Brian being gone, it's gonna be my first holiday season without him.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know what anything's gonna look or feel like.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Thanksgiving is our big family holiday.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: We do t-shirts for our family uh Thanksgiving, and and I designed them for years and years, and this year um Campbell and Cheryl designed it, and it's perfect.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a tree, and it says the Smith family, and there is a little bird flying away from the tree.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: And Campbell made it a little cardinal, so it's not red on the because you know that's two different color inks, it's gonna cost a shit ton of money, so it's just white, a little white bird that's flying away from the tree, but um, you know, and I don't know what Christmas is gonna feel like.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: Just knowing that he's not gonna be here is really daunting.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm super anxious about how uh I'm gonna feel, how the girls are gonna feel, how we're gonna act around each other, how we're gonna be when absolutely nothing feels normal.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's it's not gonna feel like what you expected or what you normally expect it to feel like.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: You know that, but you don't know what it's gonna feel like.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just I'm honestly like really sad to think about the fact that like you know, he's he and I at Christmas Eve would, you know, we would always do our Christmas wrapping, you know.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: I would have to put all the shit together, and he would he would bring all the heavy boxes in and then I would put all the shit together and we would sit on the floor in his office, and I remember like one year like Campbell came downstairs and like tried to peek in, you know, and kids are little sneakers, but like now I'm just like thinking about like that boundary too, or that that bubble, or not bubble, like that somebody that you have next to you that is gonna be there and and celebrate with you.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: And and I'm also really upset and sad and anxious about the fact that like I'm not gonna be able to buy gifts for people this year.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, like I'm not gonna be able to to give the girls what they want, you know.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be able to do anything.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, not what you normally do for sure.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely not.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: And the other thing that really sucks, and it's not really holiday season, but it's just like fall, is it Mallory?
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's our senior year.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: So we are in her senior week this week.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so there's lots of activities every single day.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: And the the booster club puts it all on, not the booster club, it's called like the spirit club.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: They put it all on.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: The moms are incredible, and I'm just like a complete fucking shit show.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I have no idea what I'm doing.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many things.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: What time is this?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: What what money do you need?
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: What props do you need?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: What do I need to give you?
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just like overwhelming a lot.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm always struggling with like figuring out how to be a part of things without getting too involved in them where I'm not able to help, you know, like I can't financially.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you're not, yeah, exactly.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_03: You're not capable, not energetically, not financially, like not time-wise.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_03: Like, there's a lot of ways that you could, you just can't.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: So what what I did was I I'm very open with Mallory, and I'm like, where when you want me at something, I'll be there.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I need you to tell me what you need me to be at.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then I have a great uh connection with one of the moms who organizes everything.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: She's like a freaking superstar mom.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like she makes all of the other moms, like me, look like I should be having Department of Family Services called on my ass.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like she just always is so good, but she's super kind and she's super loving, and she's been nothing but respectful and loving to me and Mallory and the family.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: And she texted me and was like, hey, we need help decorating the studio and the locker rooms and all this stuff.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Great, I'll do that.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: I can do that, you know.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I went and I spent two and a half hours and we decorated, and I felt really good about helping out.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then we had last night was the senior sunset, and it's this great little thing that they put on at the school.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: Again, the spirit club puts it on, the moms all organize it, and we brought the kids out, and it's you go out on the football field, you lay out a blanket, and you have your chairs, and you sit with your kids and you watch the sunset, which is great.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: But when you're sitting on a blanket by yourself, yeah.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: And everybody else around you has family and husband and wife, or little kids running around, or you know, just a husband and wife.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I just I had to kind of like turn off my emotions a little bit and just kind of sit there in it and just be like, this is for Mallory and for you to have fun and to celebrate her as a senior, and she she walks out.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: She walks out.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: And all the parents stand up and the kids have to walk from like the building, pretty much from like I don't know, the end zone to the 50-yard line.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, like half the field, half the field, yeah, and they're all walking out, all the seniors and all the parents are on the football field on our blankets with our little chairs, and there's some you know, sappy ass song about like you know, your life and you're growing older and you're leaving us, and blah blah.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: And all the parents have their cameras out and we're all clapping for the whole time.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: These kids are just fucking walking.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's I I videoed it.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: I videoed it.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: It literally was like a minute and 10 or 15 seconds, something like that.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: And when Mallory came up, she goes, That was so embarrassing.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: Why did you guys do that?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I don't know.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I think that's just the way it happened because y'all were late.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, but that was fucking funny.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: That was fucking hilarious.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I gotta figure out a way to like speed it up so that you can watch it.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_03: Cause that's hilarious.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: But then like the sunset at first was not very nice, and then all of a sudden it got beautiful.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I just found myself being like, okay, like Brian's here, he's with us.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: He may not really be here, but yeah, he's here.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so, long story short, that was very long-winded of me.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: I apologize.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but that's what we're here for.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: But I think that that kind of was the first piece of senior year starting into the holiday season and kind of the fact that this is not gonna be a typical year.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_03: This is definitely going to be I don't think typical is something we should keep in our repertoire anymore.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fuck that word.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: A typical typical checked out, yeah, yeah.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Kill it, kill it, yeah.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: Go back, kill it.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's right.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: I I I just and I I really don't want to go in and I said this to the girls, because we're all anxious.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_01: We're all like, what is this gonna be like?
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: What if it triggers me?
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: What if somebody triggers me?
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: What if like I just start losing my mind and start crying, you know, like in the middle of dinner?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what's going to happen?
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and it's like, but we're with our family.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so as long as we're with our family, the one thing I I am going to commit to doing this year, which is going to be a very hard thing for me.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it's very silly to say this, but I'm going to do the best I can to not do this this year.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I have a tendency when I'm in the family and everyone's talking and the TV's going and there's conversations and we're all talking to each other and we're all a part of it.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: I put my phone up and I will play games on my phone, like puzzles and such.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not, it's nothing like word puzzles, it's more like actual jigsaw puzzles.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like that is for my anxiety in those situations because it's loud, it's noisy, and there's a lot going on.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so that kind of grounds me.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I, even though I probably should maybe wait till next year to try it, I want to try this year to not have that safety blanket or security blanket on my phone to always be playing a game.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: I want to just be more present in the moment and not be thinking about anything else.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great goal.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: Gonna try.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: Gonna try.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get out of the the sadness for a little bit.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's just this it's hard for me to this is a very um what's the word I'm looking for?
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: A juxtaposition a juxtaposition.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_01: I can't say that word, so I won't use that word.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Juxapposition.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but it's um it's hard for me.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I said this last time when we chatted last week, is that my therapist was like, Are you feeling resentful?
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I'm fucking resentful.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I fucking am.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: I have no money, I have no future right now, I don't know where I'm gonna be.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm fucking resentful, and I'm not that person, and that is that's the this weird balance of now like I'm gr I'm a grieving widow, you know, and I'm not just grieving the loss of my husband, I'm I'm grieving the loss of my stability, yeah, and the life that you guys had built together, but my person and I I don't like to be negative about things, but at this point it's like I can't help but but have these feelings and this grief and this pain and this sadness.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm trying to figure out ways uh to not spiral.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's hard.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_03: Um it is hard.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_03: It is hard, absolutely.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um especially when you don't feel stable and grounded.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, you feel like you're flailing about.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like we're the um inflatable little guys on the side of the road just like.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, yeah, the noodles.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: That is a totally here's another one.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you thought that was good.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_03: Here, take that one.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's crazy.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: Well, but you're so strong.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: But you're so strong.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck that.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck strong.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck that.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, well, I told you.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_03: I I don't like that.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_03: I yeah, just because I'm strong, that means all the shitty shit shouldn't happen to me.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_03: Fuck you.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, fuck you, man.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_03: You take your take your your shitty shit too.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want all the shitty shit for myself.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want the shitty shit anymore.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: I I just want to feel like I'm not gonna get my car repossessed tomorrow.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be foreclosed on, I'm not gonna, you know, have to live in a shoebox on the side of the road.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just I just want to feel a little bit more stable and I have to wait till February.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what I'm gonna try to do is not kill anybody by then.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so let's get into the end of our episode, our rapid fire.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: Our rapid fire.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_03: This is a special holiday edition.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so I'll say one, then you go to the next one.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll go back and forth.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_01: Ready?
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: Thanksgiving or Christmas?
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: Both.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: I can't pick one.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: Thanksgiving for me.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: I love Thanksgiving.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: Real tr oh no, that's yours.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_03: Real tree or artificial.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_03: You already answered this.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: I answered that.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: Real tree.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_03: But I am I mean no apphalls with that answer.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_03: Artificial.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_03: Plastic.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_03: Plastic.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's not a real tree.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_03: No, Yule is a Yule log, a Yule tree is pine, and we smell it and we save it, we cut it.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_03: We juniper ash or not.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: You can I can't fucking do that anymore, Norm.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I can buy a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: You can get me a stick.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_03: I will go out to my yard and cut you down one right now, and then I will bring it to your house, okay?
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_03: Not now.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_03: Put it right there on your table.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's fucking October.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, definitely not.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_03: And not now.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: Not now.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: And my Christmas tree goes up.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you get back.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the other question.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_03: Get back from Thanksgiving.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_01: When does your Christmas tree go up?
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's on here.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: Isn't that on here?
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, go to the next one.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: Holiday music before Thanksgiving acceptable.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely not.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: Or criminal.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: Criminal.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: Criminal.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: Let me enjoy the holiday that I'm in.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_03: Don't even get me that that irritates the shit out of me.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_03: And it's not just the music.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_03: I don't even want Christmas shit touching the Halloween shit in Home Depot.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_03: It drives me bad shit crazy.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's like food on a plate for people that don't like their mashed potatoes to touch their peas.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: Don't touch the peas and mashed potatoes.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: They're separate.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: So let the holidays exist separately.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: Let us enjoy them.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: Give us the time.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_03: All right, go next.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um, host the holiday or show up as a guest.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, host.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Man, you are terrible at this game.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so bad at this game today.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: Show up as a guest.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was looking at it.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_03: That's the exact opposite of the exact opposite.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_03: No, I was show up as a guest.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_03: I would say I used to be the one who hosted all the time, like I said, when we were in the military.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but now we show up because we split time um visiting all the old people.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_03: I know that's really what it is.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_03: Go over here and see these people, go over here and see these people, go over here and see these people.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, no, but it's good that all the people are close within a two-hour radius.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right, exactly.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: Best holiday food.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's a hard one.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: That is so hard.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: I mean sweet potato casserole.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, a good veggie and corn casserole.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, wait.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: How about we instead of saying best holiday food, let's go on the negative and say worst holiday food.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: If it's on the table, you don't like it.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: You won't eat it.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_01: I have two.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_03: If it's on the table.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_03: The first one.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_03: I won't like it.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um, that's that's not really a good question for me.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_03: Um, have you ever heard of pink salad?
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, absolutely not.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_03: I will not eat that.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_03: But no one in my family makes it, thank you.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_03: No, that's that's jello shit with fruit in it and cream, right?
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: Ambrosia.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so these are the ingredients.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because in the past, when we would do our Walmart run, I would be the one that would have I know the recipe and I never make it.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: Cheryl and my father-in-law, and maybe a few stragglers will try and have some, but it's always on the table, and I will never partake.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: It is sweet and condensed milk, cool whip, cherry pie filling, crushed pineapples, mandarin oranges, mini marshmallows.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_01: Period.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's pink salad.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: It is so gross.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: That is pink salad.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: And she puts it in a bowl, and then that bowl, and they'll eat it the next day.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I can't grated milk.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, it's ill.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_03: Cheryl's gonna be gross.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, no.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I can't.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: Cheryl, I love everything you make.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't like your pink salad.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, what was the other thing?
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_03: You said there were two.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: The other thing is gravy.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like gravy.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like, I don't like sloppy, melted.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like oil and vinegar on bread, like a like a sandwich, like a hoagie.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like I hate that texture of soft shit like that.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like milk.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_03: So I hate gravy.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_03: I like gravy on my turkey and on my stuffing.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's that's when we eat the turkey.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_03: But my mom makes the turkey gravy from the drippings of the turkey.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_03: Well, your mom's like the OG trad wife.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's usually one of the jobs that I get to help with when I get there is making the gravy cravy.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_03: It's one of the last things you do.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_03: And so I've got and she's like, okay, here, take the whisk.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_03: And so she's already beating it in the thing.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, okay, I'll just come over and then I do that for you know a few minutes while she finishes whatever else we're doing, and then we eat.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_03: It's nice.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_03: What's the next one?
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, ready?
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: What's worse?
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: Wrapping presents or untangling lights?
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_03: Untangling lights.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_03: I hate it.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_03: I get so mad.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_03: I cuss and scream and kick things and throw the lights at Denny.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah, I um am a master rapper.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_03: Iggy, weekie, what?
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_03: I just need you to know.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_03: I am a master rapper.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um and what's your rapping name?
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_03: And the rest of my family is not.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_03: Meaning that I rap with a theme every year.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_03: Recycled, yes, it's all recycled materials, recycled paper, and then I have like ribbons and bows and things that I've collected from thrift stores all year.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_03: So everybody gets like special packages.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_03: And then all of my gifts are wrapped in blankets or put in a pit, you know, like in a pillow sock or um, because none of the rest of my family can rap.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's really quite opposite in that direction.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: But Brian was the master rapper for sure.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: Was he really?
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_03: I really love, I love to do, I like to do dumb shit too.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_03: I'll save a bunch of boxes from Costco and then take like if it's, I don't know, like a necklace or something small.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you're one of those people.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_03: I wrap it in a box and then I put that box in another box, in another box, and another box, and another box, but I wrap each layer.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_03: So you have to unwrap each layer.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_03: My God.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_03: That's why I use recycled paper.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you should everything is recyclable brown paper.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't I don't know what Christmas is gonna look like this year.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's gonna be real.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_03: Who knows?
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_03: Who knows?
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, how long can leftovers legally remain in the refrigerator?
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um, okay, listen, that depends on what the fuck you be eating.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so what you'd be eating.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_03: Give us a that that pink shit, that's that can't even go in my fridge.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know how long that no, but let me tell you what, if your food doesn't have an expiration date, you shouldn't be fucking eating it.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_03: Because you have an expiration date.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, turkey, like cooked turkey, no more than like four or five days, man.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_03: That's it.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like you can't even that's bad things.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna go poo poo way too much real fast if you if you if you don't, if you play around with that, with poultry like that.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um what's the earliest acceptable time to put up your Christmas decorations?
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, yes.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_01: December 1st.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_03: I say Black Friday.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm not here Black Friday.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: So if I was here Black Friday, maybe.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_03: But I it used to be the only day that I had off of work before I would go back to work the next week.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_03: And so I would start then and be done with it by that Sunday, you know.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_03: Now how much but that was when I was decorating like a whole house outside and doing lights and doing trees and doing, you know, all kinds of crazy shit.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_03: We don't do all that anymore.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: If you could spend the holidays anywhere, where would you go?
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_03: Somewhere really cold with a lot of snow.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_03: I would want to go somewhere really cold with a lot of snow.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_03: Where I could have a fire.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: Iceland.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: Is Iceland the cold one?
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, let's go there.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, no.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_03: Greenland.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_03: Greenland.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_03: Greenland is the cold.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_03: Let's go.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_03: We could go to both.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_03: I was going to say, let's go find a gyro class to do there.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: That'd be fun.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_03: That'd be fun.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_03: I would go really close.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_03: What about you?
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: I would do the same.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_03: I would do the same.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_03: I go with you.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're going there together.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, perfect.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_03: What's the most ridiculous thing you've bought because it was Christmas?
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_03: I've got it.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my God.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_02: I know you do.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_02: I know you do because my ridiculous shit.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_02: Please tell me.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me all about it.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember when this was.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_01: We were living in Chicago at the time.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: And Mallory and Campbell were obsessed with inflatables in the front yard.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: They loved them.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: And Brian and I both were like, that's just no, we're not going to be that family.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: We really don't want to be.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we really didn't want to be able to do that.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, dude.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_02: We did the inflatables so many years with it.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's I love it for other people, but I was like, I don't really want to be messing up.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: Not for you.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_01: Not for me.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: I like the traditional retro big bulbs, like the primary colors.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, or I like white lights.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm I'm pretty traditional.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: I love going around and looking at the lights.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: That was my favorite thing to do with the girls between, you know, Christmas and New Year's is going out or Christmas Eve on the way back from church.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: We would go and drive around and see all the lights.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_01: But so the girls were like really wanting a fucking inflatable for the holiday.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I can't find one.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: I was working a lot at the time at the yoga studio.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_01: I was managing and I was teaching a shit ton of classes.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just that holiday season where everything was culminating on the same weekends.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: Everything was happening at the same time.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_01: And there was no time to do anything.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I went to the grocery store and I'm looking around.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I bet you they have an inflatable in here.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I look up and on top of the freezer is an inflatable dog dressed in like a holiday scarf or something.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it was big.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, that's it.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so I grabbed somebody in the store and I was like, and of course, it's literally three days before Christmas at this point.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's literally like oh no.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so you I'm in a grocery store at three days before Christmas.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_01: And this the girls were young.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: They were like in elementary school.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, grab the guy and I go, hey, where is the box for the inflatables?
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_01: I want I want to buy one of those dogs.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, Oh, we don't, we don't sell them here.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_01: I go, what?
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, he was actually the manager of the store.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes, no, no, no.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, he's like, that's that's just for decoration.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, okay.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, my kids have been begging me for an inflatable.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, will you sell me this inflatable?
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: And the guy's like, sure.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_01: $25.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, okay.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_01: Swear to God.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, it's my personal inflatable from when my kids were little.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I brought it into the store to put it up on the freezer section for other people to enjoy.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_01: My kids are in college now.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes, I would be happy to sell it to you.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't even think he sold it to me.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think he actually just got it.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: But he had to climb up on top of the freezer section.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: And the dog had been there three days before Christmas.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_01: So you know that bitch had been sitting up there since Thanksgiving.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_01: He was up there, covered in dust.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: This poor manager, three days before Christmas, in the middle of a grocery store, climbs up on the ladder, takes the dog down, deflates the dog, cleans the dog up, and gives it to me.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_01: I fucking mom of the year that year.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'll walk in the house and guess what your mama got you?
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking blow up.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my God.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_01: I was so proud of myself.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: So that was the most ridiculous thing that I bought because it was Christmas.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_03: That's awesome.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think I have a good story for that.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: What about um what's one thing that you want more of this holiday season?
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_03: I think just time with my kids, time with my family, time with Denny.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_03: That's gonna be my answer all the time.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_01: Just time with family.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe we don't have to like opt out of all of the things for the holiday season.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of think what I'm realizing is that maybe I don't actually want to opt out.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanna not have this anxiety or this pressure to make something that it's not gonna be or try to make something different.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to pretend everything is the same because it's definitely not.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't want to spend the next two months being anxious about the holidays and coming and then not enjoying them with my kids.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe we don't have to make everything magical.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we don't have to do everything we've always done.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we can just figure out what feels right this year, even if it is a little different.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so here's our challenge.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_03: Before you automatically say yes to every holiday obligation, ask yourself whether it's something you actually want to do or something you're just feeling obligated to do.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_03: Keep what matters, let go of what doesn't.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_03: And if all you manage this year is showing up with a store-bought pie and a questionable attitude, you're welcome at our table.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_01: Hell yeah.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_01: I can love people, miss people, appreciate traditions, and still decide that this year we may do things differently.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_01: So thanks for listening to We Didn't Plan for This.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because apparently we didn't plan for the holidays either.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: So if this was a fun episode that you enjoyed, please rate, review, subscribe, share this with a friend who may be going through some things during the holiday season who needs to smile, or maybe you can relate to what we're going through with changes in life that we didn't plan for.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_01: So you can send us your stories at we didn't plan for this at gmail.com.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_01: You can follow us on the gram at wdpft podcast.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't say the email right.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_03: No, you didn't.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's wdpftpodcast at gmail.com.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_03: Say it one more time for the people of the WDPFT podcast at gmail.com.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, guys.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: We will see you next week.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: Ow, I just hit my head.