Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Hope Floats

Transcript

Hope Floats · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

0:02
Speaker 1: This is Teddy Teapod. Hi, guys, welcome to this week's
0:12
Speaker 1: Teddy Teapod. I am so excited to be co hosting
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Speaker 1: with my friend Lourie Harder. She is incredible. She's number
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Speaker 1: one best selling author of a book called Tribe called
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Speaker 1: Bliss Amazing by It, and she has a podcast called
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Speaker 1: Earn You're Happy, and I was. I met her a
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Speaker 1: couple of years ago, and then I started following her
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Speaker 1: on social and I'm the kind of person that, like,
0:33
Speaker 1: I start following somebody on social and if they do
0:35
Speaker 1: something that bugs me, I like, I can't do it.
0:38
Speaker 1: But Laurie is that person where I just want more.
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Speaker 1: So I invited her to do a call with my
0:44
Speaker 1: all in coaches because we do these learning calls, and honestly,
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Speaker 1: every single one of us was blown away. You filled
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Speaker 1: our tank and I am so grateful to have you on.
0:54
Speaker 1: Oh my god, well, thank you so much. I feel
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Speaker 1: the exact same way when I was talking ak following you, um,
1:02
Speaker 1: and then I got to have you on my podcast,
1:04
Speaker 1: and it's just I think the coolest thing is number
1:07
Speaker 1: one podcasting and actually getting to know the people that
1:10
Speaker 1: you follow or that you know look up too better,
1:13
Speaker 1: and it's like an hour with somebody can be life
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Speaker 1: changing if you ask the right question. So I love
1:19
Speaker 1: being able to chat with you and have you on
1:20
Speaker 1: my podcast. That was totally amazing to get to know
1:23
Speaker 1: you better, and you are like you are so layered,
1:25
Speaker 1: like you. Thank you. I I think if people just
1:29
Speaker 1: which by the way, I think you're everybody's favorite on
1:31
Speaker 1: everything that you're on. But with that said, I think
1:35
Speaker 1: that when people really get to know you, it's not
1:37
Speaker 1: just like refreshing, but it is it's like a really
1:41
Speaker 1: amazing connection because you're so real. Thank you so much,
1:45
Speaker 1: and you know, while talking about real, let's get into
1:48
Speaker 1: my my crap, um, let's do it. Um. I really
1:53
Speaker 1: wanted to lean into hope and optimism this episode because this,
1:58
Speaker 1: you know, this past year or has been so many
2:01
Speaker 1: you know, punches to everybody, and so there's been so
2:04
Speaker 1: much negativity and then there's also been so many like
2:08
Speaker 1: changes and I know, even for myself when it comes
2:12
Speaker 1: to my my kids in my life, I know that
2:15
Speaker 1: I have gone through some struggles this year or we
2:17
Speaker 1: have you know, we had a dog passed away, my
2:20
Speaker 1: daughter amputated her finger. Now I have another daughter who's
2:23
Speaker 1: going to need neurosurgery, and I just feel like right
2:27
Speaker 1: as I'm about Like, I remember a couple of days
2:31
Speaker 1: before I was diagnosed, I said to my girlfriends we
2:34
Speaker 1: were on like one of these groups Zooms, and I said, Guys,
2:37
Speaker 1: I finally feel like the black cloud has been lifted.
2:41
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm appreciating the pen like I'm appreciating this
2:45
Speaker 1: hometime with my family because um, my daughter's finger is better,
2:49
Speaker 1: and like she's able to do the thing she wants
2:51
Speaker 1: to do, and I'm just finally feeling good. And then honestly,
2:54
Speaker 1: three days later it happened with Dove and I like
2:58
Speaker 1: just hit a wall and like I crumbled and I
3:01
Speaker 1: was like that for you know, over a week where
3:03
Speaker 1: I just was not able to see the positive side
3:06
Speaker 1: of anything, and you know, I was trying to kind
3:09
Speaker 1: of fake it for my family and for you know,
3:12
Speaker 1: just I've got to work. I've got to keep going
3:14
Speaker 1: one ft in front of the other. So you know,
3:16
Speaker 1: I think, and I know You've gone through a lot
3:18
Speaker 1: of things too, Laurie this year, and I feel like
3:20
Speaker 1: the more people I talked to, so many people are
3:24
Speaker 1: going through it. So it's just like hope, optimism, is
3:26
Speaker 1: so key right now. Oh my god, well, I I
3:31
Speaker 1: feel so much of that for you. And also, um,
3:34
Speaker 1: you know, so many of the people that I know
3:35
Speaker 1: are going through things as well. And my dog passed
3:38
Speaker 1: away in January, um of thirteen and a half years.
3:41
Speaker 1: So we lost our dog and we were like, Okay,
3:43
Speaker 1: this is already off to a great start. And then
3:47
Speaker 1: the pandemic happened, and then we had, you know a
3:51
Speaker 1: lot of the just the things that are happening in
3:53
Speaker 1: the world, and we had a lot of writing actually
3:54
Speaker 1: happening right on our block. Um, so that was something
3:58
Speaker 1: that felt very very close, which it feels close for
4:01
Speaker 1: everybody right now. And then my father in law passed away,
4:04
Speaker 1: who is one of my husband's best friends. It kind
4:06
Speaker 1: of just all happened at once, and you know, I
4:09
Speaker 1: think something to kind of summarize some of the things
4:12
Speaker 1: that have helped, and I know that we'll dive into that,
4:15
Speaker 1: but it was literally the day before my father in
4:18
Speaker 1: law passed and we were really in a place of
4:21
Speaker 1: uncertainty just with what we should do around canceling large
4:24
Speaker 1: events or replanning large events, what we should do with
4:27
Speaker 1: our business, what we should do just with the direction
4:30
Speaker 1: of our life and how we could also help with
4:32
Speaker 1: what was going on, what our role was, and what
4:35
Speaker 1: our part was. Like I think we were all feeling
4:37
Speaker 1: that just totally lost, totally stripped of, like the path
4:40
Speaker 1: that we thought that we were once on and the planning,
4:43
Speaker 1: in the scheduling. And the day before my father in
4:45
Speaker 1: law passed, I was on and walk with my husband Chris,
4:49
Speaker 1: and I said, you know, even though we feel this
4:51
Speaker 1: way and crazy and uncertain, today could actually be as
4:55
Speaker 1: good as it gets, Like this could be the top
4:58
Speaker 1: of maybe our life, and we need to be really appreciative.
5:01
Speaker 1: And we just had this moment of Wow, this could
5:04
Speaker 1: be as good as it gets. And then my father
5:06
Speaker 1: in law passed the next day and it was that
5:09
Speaker 1: moment of oh my god, we need to really realize
5:13
Speaker 1: that today, even though it's the craziest day, it could
5:16
Speaker 1: be as good as it gets today. Not saying that
5:18
Speaker 1: there's not hope, but realizing that hope and gratitude are intertwined.
5:23
Speaker 1: They go hand in hand, and it's really, you know,
5:26
Speaker 1: hope for me as an active contract with God. It's
5:28
Speaker 1: an active it's faith in action. It's what happens when
5:32
Speaker 1: you believe that there is something better and you can
5:36
Speaker 1: create it and that you have access to it. I
5:39
Speaker 1: think that's so huge And I got emotional just seeing
5:42
Speaker 1: your face talking about this because I just feel like
5:45
Speaker 1: right now we're all in that place where we want
5:48
Speaker 1: to wake up and feel like we have that hope
5:50
Speaker 1: every single day and we and when it's not there
5:53
Speaker 1: or with the gratitude is not there, then you start
5:55
Speaker 1: almost feeling guilty, and you know, we just get into
5:58
Speaker 1: these patterns. You know, there was one just to kind
6:01
Speaker 1: of start off the episode. There was one day where
6:04
Speaker 1: I was really feeling low and I I texted out
6:07
Speaker 1: to the to my all in girls and just said,
6:09
Speaker 1: can all of you guys tell me what hope means
6:11
Speaker 1: to you? And I just want to read through some
6:13
Speaker 1: of these because I feel like some of these are
6:15
Speaker 1: going to resonate with those of you know, those of
6:18
Speaker 1: you listening in one way or another. So hope to
6:21
Speaker 1: me means waking up and believing that you are all
6:24
Speaker 1: going to be okay, that God only gives us what
6:27
Speaker 1: we can handle, and that truly the best is yet
6:29
Speaker 1: to come. Hope for me is the universal promise that
6:33
Speaker 1: there's always something beautiful to look forward to. Hope for
6:36
Speaker 1: me is having positive state of mind that focuses on
6:39
Speaker 1: wanting to be better for myself and for others. Hope
6:43
Speaker 1: for me is always being optimistic, thinking of the best
6:46
Speaker 1: case versus the worst case scenario, and knowing if things
6:48
Speaker 1: are hard that they will always get better. Hope equates
6:52
Speaker 1: to grit and strength. For me, hope means accepting that
6:55
Speaker 1: perfection doesn't exist and that forward is the pace I need,
6:58
Speaker 1: not anything more. Even on those tough days, I know
7:01
Speaker 1: that I have the power to push through with the
7:03
Speaker 1: support of an amazing community. So as I say that
7:07
Speaker 1: about an amazing community, I wanted to kind of lean
7:09
Speaker 1: into you with this right now, when everything there's so
7:14
Speaker 1: much conflict happening in the world, how do you think
7:18
Speaker 1: we build collective hope? Is there such thing? You know?
7:24
Speaker 1: I have been sitting in this question for a while,
7:27
Speaker 1: and I want to say that when everything kind of crumbled,
7:30
Speaker 1: when my father in law passed and we went home
7:32
Speaker 1: to Wisconsin, UM and stayed in our famili's home like
7:35
Speaker 1: six people under one small roof, UM, I gave myself
7:40
Speaker 1: the grace first of all to like feel everything and
7:43
Speaker 1: to cancel things, and to lean on people and I
7:48
Speaker 1: think that that's important to know that you're probably not
7:51
Speaker 1: going to feel like you are going to be able
7:55
Speaker 1: to take massive action and create some sort of collective
7:58
Speaker 1: hope among you know, all the people your life right away.
8:01
Speaker 1: And I think as a leader, sometimes you can be like,
8:03
Speaker 1: oh my god, what do I do? Like I don't
8:04
Speaker 1: know if you felt that way, but when this all
8:06
Speaker 1: started happening, I all I did was put more pressure
8:10
Speaker 1: on myself to be like, what what do I need
8:12
Speaker 1: to be sharing? What do I need to be telling people?
8:14
Speaker 1: And I think everyone's a leader in their life right
8:16
Speaker 1: whether it's to their friends or their family, or they
8:18
Speaker 1: run a community, or their uh, you know, have a business,
8:21
Speaker 1: whatever that is. And I think it's really important for
8:23
Speaker 1: us to step back to really think about what you
8:27
Speaker 1: actually need for yourself. And I think that it always
8:31
Speaker 1: starts with self, right and any any sort of being
8:35
Speaker 1: able to heal help create something move forward. You always
8:40
Speaker 1: have to just stop and listen into what you need
8:44
Speaker 1: in order to understand and tap into what your purpose
8:48
Speaker 1: and all of it is. Because it's very easy to
8:51
Speaker 1: go into some mass consciousness right now and be like
8:54
Speaker 1: she's doing this, he's doing this, they're doing this, I
8:56
Speaker 1: should do that, and it may not be actually how
8:58
Speaker 1: you are supposed to how in your life, in your community.
9:03
Speaker 1: And so I had to take a big step back
9:05
Speaker 1: because I couldn't even hear my own voice anymore. I
9:07
Speaker 1: was like drown out. I couldn't I wasn't feeling connected
9:10
Speaker 1: to God. I was feeling very like just alone, like
9:14
Speaker 1: alone in all of it. And I thought, Okay, you're
9:16
Speaker 1: not doing the things that you need to do to
9:18
Speaker 1: actually take care of yourself and connect back in to
9:20
Speaker 1: see what your role actually is in this. And I
9:23
Speaker 1: started to just kind of get the download for me
9:26
Speaker 1: that my role is to make sure that I'm taking
9:29
Speaker 1: care of myself and my family and my community, and
9:33
Speaker 1: then seeing in what way I can actually take action
9:37
Speaker 1: among my life right now, because it's really easy to
9:41
Speaker 1: think that you want to be like doing these big things,
9:43
Speaker 1: and it's almost like you feel helpless if you're not
9:46
Speaker 1: actually doing the thing that you should be doing. It's
9:49
Speaker 1: like we hear about all these different people who end
9:51
Speaker 1: up in careers that it's not the right career, and
9:53
Speaker 1: they're like, why is my life not working. It's the
9:55
Speaker 1: same exact thing. We all have a role in a
9:58
Speaker 1: different way that we need to be playing. So we
10:00
Speaker 1: need to like let go what we think we should
10:02
Speaker 1: be doing and just listening for just a little bit
10:05
Speaker 1: and take action on that. And I think that's how
10:06
Speaker 1: we're going to create connection, is all by listening to
10:11
Speaker 1: what we feel we should be doing first and letting
10:13
Speaker 1: the answers come. I fully agree. And you know, when
10:16
Speaker 1: I was really in it with the anxiety, I am
10:20
Speaker 1: such a like a go getter type personality where I'm on,
10:22
Speaker 1: I'm doing it, I'm taking taking action, and my anxiety
10:27
Speaker 1: was just through the roof to the point where, like
10:29
Speaker 1: I love to run, I couldn't run. I was like
10:31
Speaker 1: walking in slow motion, just like okay, for it is
10:34
Speaker 1: a pace, for it is a pace you can do this.
10:36
Speaker 1: And I called my um. I have a girlfriend who's
10:39
Speaker 1: a therapist, Dr. Valerie Sedone, who actually has amazing breathing
10:42
Speaker 1: exercises and et cetera. But I called her and I said,
10:46
Speaker 1: val I have never been more tired in my life.
10:50
Speaker 1: I do not know what's happening. All I want to
10:53
Speaker 1: do is sleep, But it doesn't feel like a depression sleep.
10:56
Speaker 1: It's something else. And I'm beating myself up about it
11:00
Speaker 1: because I don't understand I'm going to bed at a
11:02
Speaker 1: regular time, and she goes teddy. What you don't realize
11:06
Speaker 1: is when your anxiety is really high, you are exhausting yourself.
11:11
Speaker 1: You don't realize that. She's like, if your anxiety is
11:13
Speaker 1: to the point where your hands are shaking and you're
11:16
Speaker 1: not clear headed, your court is all everything shot. So
11:19
Speaker 1: if you feel like you need to sleep, sleep, And
11:23
Speaker 1: like the fact that she was able to say that
11:25
Speaker 1: to me, and the fact that like I could look
11:27
Speaker 1: at my husband and say, listen, this is what's happened.
11:30
Speaker 1: Like I had an answer and then I like took
11:33
Speaker 1: it away, and like, honestly there were two days where
11:35
Speaker 1: like every moment that the kids were happy, I was like,
11:38
Speaker 1: all right, I'm you know what, I'm napping, I'm taking
11:40
Speaker 1: I need this. And then I started to feel it
11:44
Speaker 1: lift a little bit and then started feeling parts of
11:47
Speaker 1: myself come back. But I think it's you know, it's
11:50
Speaker 1: important to ask those questions to somebody who who knows
11:54
Speaker 1: and and be able to listen and take the advice
11:56
Speaker 1: from somebody who's a professional um. But also when you
12:01
Speaker 1: when you have to pull away, like I have a
12:03
Speaker 1: group chat with all my girlfriends and you know, we
12:06
Speaker 1: all just talk about whatever it may be from day
12:08
Speaker 1: to day, and I wasn't responding, so they just kept
12:10
Speaker 1: saying are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay?
12:12
Speaker 1: And finally I just said, hey, guys, I need to
12:15
Speaker 1: tap out the next couple of days. I love you all,
12:17
Speaker 1: and I'm not like spiraling out of control. I just
12:20
Speaker 1: I don't need this responsibility right now, and I don't
12:23
Speaker 1: want you guys to feel like you've done anything. I
12:25
Speaker 1: just need time for me. So I think just asking
12:30
Speaker 1: ourselves how am I really feeling and what do I need? God,
12:33
Speaker 1: I resonate with all of that so much, especially the
12:37
Speaker 1: like why am I so exhausted? Why am I so tired?
12:40
Speaker 1: And I think sometimes we can confuse worry for faith
12:45
Speaker 1: or worry for action, and right You're like, if I'm worrying,
12:50
Speaker 1: I feel better because it can be like an addiction.
12:53
Speaker 1: It's it's actually like that's that thing you know when
12:56
Speaker 1: you realize, like your battery on your phone continues to
12:59
Speaker 1: die and you're like, what's wrong with my phone? It's
13:00
Speaker 1: brand new, and your husband grabs it and he's like,
13:02
Speaker 1: you have twenty seven windows running in the background. Right, Oh,
13:06
Speaker 1: that's right. If I just close out of those like,
13:08
Speaker 1: maybe I can actually get back to self. And that's
13:11
Speaker 1: been huge for me. Like what am I thinking that
13:13
Speaker 1: I need to worry about right now that is actually
13:17
Speaker 1: draining me from from doing what I could be doing
13:21
Speaker 1: or feeling. And sometimes, you know, even this last last month,
13:24
Speaker 1: like I had to give myself permission and reframe that
13:27
Speaker 1: sometimes life is just about like being and like not
13:31
Speaker 1: thinking about anything and just walking in nature and not
13:34
Speaker 1: even thinking you need to create a purpose or worry
13:37
Speaker 1: about someone or be there for someone. Like I literally
13:40
Speaker 1: had to allow myself to cut ties exactly like you
13:43
Speaker 1: just did, and write a few friends and say, hey,
13:46
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do our masterminds now. And I
13:48
Speaker 1: didn't do my podcast for a whole month. I've done
13:50
Speaker 1: it religiously for four years straight. I was like, I
13:53
Speaker 1: I literally cannot do it right now. I need to
13:55
Speaker 1: cut off like responsibility to what I think I need
13:59
Speaker 1: to be right now and figure that adds that extra
14:02
Speaker 1: you know, Like I have the same thing even about
14:05
Speaker 1: like with the the show that I'm on, you know,
14:07
Speaker 1: like I have a requirement to tweet and do these things,
14:09
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this feels so crazy because this is
14:13
Speaker 1: not where my mindset is at all. So I mean,
14:16
Speaker 1: I think we're all just torn in so many directions,
14:19
Speaker 1: and I know we have to take a break in
14:20
Speaker 1: a second. But one other thing I do want to
14:22
Speaker 1: talk about is like with things consistently changing, so like
14:27
Speaker 1: people will get this surge of hope and they're like, Wow,
14:30
Speaker 1: things are opening, restaurants are opening, this is happening. Life
14:34
Speaker 1: seems like it's starting to go a little bit more
14:36
Speaker 1: back to normal. And then especially for us out here,
14:39
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, it's like, nope, really back in,
14:42
Speaker 1: We're closing this, we're doing that. You know. Uh, parks
14:46
Speaker 1: and and hikes were open. Now they're starting to like
14:48
Speaker 1: all those different things. So like, how do you start
14:51
Speaker 1: managing your expectations in the time of so many unknowns?
14:55
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, tell me when you figure it out. This
14:59
Speaker 1: is this really huge for me because um, you know,
15:02
Speaker 1: life may never it obviously isn't gonna be the same again,
15:06
Speaker 1: and we it may not be anything that we thought,
15:10
Speaker 1: but our beliefs are always going to be the thing
15:13
Speaker 1: that carry us through or give us hope. So what
15:15
Speaker 1: is your belief around what your future is going to
15:17
Speaker 1: look like. And for me, that means like instead of
15:20
Speaker 1: me thinking, wait, this is the future that I wanted,
15:23
Speaker 1: this is who I was going to be, this is
15:24
Speaker 1: what I was gonna do, instead of gripping onto that,
15:27
Speaker 1: I just I just read a Chinese proverb this morning
15:30
Speaker 1: on Instagram, So who knows what it is, but it
15:32
Speaker 1: said it said let go or be dragged. And to
15:36
Speaker 1: me that was so huge really thinking about what those
15:39
Speaker 1: things are that I thought I was gripping onto that
15:41
Speaker 1: could potentially change that. If I don't, if I'm not
15:44
Speaker 1: willing to be nimble and let go and shift, that
15:47
Speaker 1: it's just gonna drag me and it's not going to
15:49
Speaker 1: be a fun ride. So my belief around what the
15:53
Speaker 1: future is is that whatever I my expectation is, God
15:57
Speaker 1: has a better one. So to let go faster, not
16:00
Speaker 1: be dragged by my old expectation, but to know that
16:05
Speaker 1: if I let go and kind of free fall, it's
16:08
Speaker 1: like whatever is gonna happen is going to be better
16:11
Speaker 1: than what I was able to see. And I think
16:13
Speaker 1: that when we hold those beliefs of hey, I don't
16:16
Speaker 1: know best, that's what can always pull me through. Is
16:19
Speaker 1: like God, this is not what I expected. But if
16:22
Speaker 1: I've learned anything in my life, it's that on the
16:24
Speaker 1: other side of a long winter, where you see nothing,
16:27
Speaker 1: there's always something more beautiful than you could possibly imagine.
16:30
Speaker 1: Whether that's just the richness of who you're becoming or
16:33
Speaker 1: the richness of relationships deepening. Um. You know, there's been
16:37
Speaker 1: so many gifts with COVID, even though it's been one
16:39
Speaker 1: of the most challenging times of life. I really think
16:42
Speaker 1: that we're gonna look back at this time and and
16:45
Speaker 1: maybe view it as the year of the Gift or
16:47
Speaker 1: whatever that is, because there are things that we are recognizing, noticing,
16:51
Speaker 1: relationships that are deepening, things that are being stripped away
16:54
Speaker 1: from you that you thought you needed, that you just
16:57
Speaker 1: don't need. How brees that you're putting up the relationships
17:03
Speaker 1: you no longer need, I completely fill you. And we
17:08
Speaker 1: have another guest that's in the waiting room, so we
17:10
Speaker 1: gotta take a quick break. But her name Shari Healey,
17:14
Speaker 1: and she is a possibilitarian, which I need to ask
17:17
Speaker 1: her about that. So let's take a quick break and
17:19
Speaker 1: let's bring her on. Hey, Hey, hi, Sharie, how are
17:31
Speaker 1: you great? How are you women? Good to see you. Um, Sharie,
17:36
Speaker 1: You're on with myself and Lorie Harder is a dear
17:40
Speaker 1: friend of mine, and we're both just gonna be you know,
17:42
Speaker 1: coming at you hot. Okay, do it. First things first,
17:47
Speaker 1: can you explain to us what a possibilitarian is. Yes,
17:52
Speaker 1: someone who will literally stop at nothing to get you
17:54
Speaker 1: what you want. I believe that everything is possible, and
17:58
Speaker 1: we just maybe didn't and how in school or you know,
18:02
Speaker 1: there's fears or beliefs that stand in our way. My
18:05
Speaker 1: whole reason for being is I think we all have
18:07
Speaker 1: a gift to give that, if not shared, is lost
18:10
Speaker 1: to the world forever. And so I'm here to really
18:12
Speaker 1: help people just bring it. So. I have a question.
18:15
Speaker 1: Do you think that some people are born more optimistic,
18:21
Speaker 1: more positive, or that these are learned things that they've
18:25
Speaker 1: done throughout their life or is it a combination. That
18:27
Speaker 1: is the best question. I think we're all born little
18:31
Speaker 1: joy beings. I really think we come in here like
18:35
Speaker 1: optimistic and excited to be alive, and then we learn
18:40
Speaker 1: either to get with the program and settle down and
18:43
Speaker 1: realize that life is alred, you know, and we learn
18:46
Speaker 1: I think pessimism and negativity. And that's not to say
18:50
Speaker 1: it's wrong. I think we're literally here for the whole
18:53
Speaker 1: ride to experience all the lessons and all the all
18:57
Speaker 1: the things. You know, that's part of what the a
19:00
Speaker 1: ride is all about. It's the light and the dark,
19:02
Speaker 1: you know, and it's just a matter of do you
19:05
Speaker 1: learn along the way how to handle it or or
19:08
Speaker 1: how to choose joy and optimism. I think our health
19:13
Speaker 1: and our well being is deeply tied to positivity, and
19:16
Speaker 1: I think it's something that can be relearned, remembered. And
19:20
Speaker 1: how do you think that plays into goal setting? M M. Well,
19:24
Speaker 1: you know, there's this thing that I talked about a lot.
19:26
Speaker 1: It's a success cycle, this sort of you can either
19:29
Speaker 1: be kind of in a downward spiral or an upward one,
19:31
Speaker 1: you know, moving forward. And if you believe enough that
19:35
Speaker 1: you are worthy or that a goal is possible, then
19:40
Speaker 1: you're way more likely to actually get it. But there's
19:44
Speaker 1: a simple hack that if you don't believe it, because
19:46
Speaker 1: a lot of people have become negative or disbelieving because
19:51
Speaker 1: of life circumstances, you can just take action. You can
19:55
Speaker 1: just take simple steps, you know, in the direction of
19:59
Speaker 1: what you want, and that can't fail. It has to
20:03
Speaker 1: bring change and it has to bring results, which actually
20:06
Speaker 1: then further reinforces belief. So you can get kind of
20:09
Speaker 1: in that upward forward motion like you're creating a habit,
20:14
Speaker 1: which is you know, I always say when it comes
20:16
Speaker 1: to working out or anything, like, you don't love doing
20:18
Speaker 1: something at first, when it becomes the habit, then all
20:22
Speaker 1: of a sudden it's something you crave and you need
20:24
Speaker 1: and it's part of your life. And then all of
20:26
Speaker 1: a sudden you realize that thing I'm going to work
20:28
Speaker 1: out doesn't mean that I'm going to run ten miles
20:30
Speaker 1: every day. It means that I may go on a
20:32
Speaker 1: nature walk with my kids, or I may do a
20:34
Speaker 1: restored with yoga. But I'm gonna do something for me. Yeah,
20:39
Speaker 1: and you nailed it. I think it's pleasure is a
20:41
Speaker 1: greater motivator than pain. And so if you are you know,
20:46
Speaker 1: saying I want to be healthy, I want to be well,
20:48
Speaker 1: and one day you feel like running a marathon, that's great,
20:51
Speaker 1: But the next day just hiking is it? Or maybe
20:55
Speaker 1: it's hammock time. Man. I'm very serious about pleasure. And
20:59
Speaker 1: I think that the more we get that, you know,
21:02
Speaker 1: the more we become the people were here to be
21:05
Speaker 1: and become a real gift to others around us, you know,
21:09
Speaker 1: with the reinforcement that you just said, What do you
21:11
Speaker 1: think is important for people in their environment, like their
21:15
Speaker 1: day to day life, especially for those people who are
21:17
Speaker 1: not who maybe don't have the family and the friends,
21:20
Speaker 1: who feel like anything is possible. Yeah, well, given where
21:25
Speaker 1: we are right now in the world, I think this
21:27
Speaker 1: is more important than ever that in the day to day.
21:31
Speaker 1: It starts with your mindset, you know, it starts with
21:33
Speaker 1: just a simple shift up here that says, what are
21:37
Speaker 1: we in right now? You know what, what craziness is
21:41
Speaker 1: happening all around us? And if we can kind of
21:43
Speaker 1: make sense of what's going on in the world in
21:46
Speaker 1: a way that supports us, in a way that reassures us.
21:50
Speaker 1: I think it comes down to feeling safe. You know,
21:53
Speaker 1: if you feel safe in your skin and in your
21:55
Speaker 1: bones in some way, then so much more as possible.
22:00
Speaker 1: So they're just deciding what's going on in the world
22:04
Speaker 1: is really important, and we can talk more about that
22:06
Speaker 1: if you guys want to go there. But I actually
22:09
Speaker 1: have a girlfriend who I know listens to this podcast
22:12
Speaker 1: and she says that right now she has developed such
22:16
Speaker 1: a fear about leaving her home because of everything that's
22:20
Speaker 1: going on. But some things you need to leave your
22:22
Speaker 1: home for if you are you know, need to go
22:24
Speaker 1: to the doctor, you need to go to the store
22:26
Speaker 1: for your family, or any of those types of things.
22:28
Speaker 1: For people that are really in that huge state of fear,
22:31
Speaker 1: what do you recommend on getting out of that? Because
22:34
Speaker 1: you turn on the news and it can be debilitating,
22:38
Speaker 1: and I'd start right there, I would not turn on
22:40
Speaker 1: the news. I mean, listen, I'm not about not being informed.
22:44
Speaker 1: I'm really well informed, but I choose who my sources are,
22:49
Speaker 1: and I think there are a lot of really healthy,
22:52
Speaker 1: valid um, independent, not opinionated, you know, old school people
22:59
Speaker 1: reporting on what's actually happening. When you turn on the
23:02
Speaker 1: main news streams, you're gonna get people's opinions laced in there.
23:08
Speaker 1: You're gonna get agendas, you're gonna get layers of stuff
23:12
Speaker 1: that will actually bring on fear, because as we know,
23:15
Speaker 1: that's what sells. You know, you can go on the
23:18
Speaker 1: social media and go to the good news sources, which
23:21
Speaker 1: I think are really helpful because there's a whole lot
23:24
Speaker 1: of good happening right now in the world. To balance
23:26
Speaker 1: that out. If you feel like you have to go
23:28
Speaker 1: on the mainstream media too. But I have a teacher,
23:31
Speaker 1: my guru actually who UM wise woman who I would
23:37
Speaker 1: defer to, probably more in scenarios like this, who is
23:40
Speaker 1: insistent that we do not let fear be our guide
23:43
Speaker 1: because fear is the cheapest seat in the house. It's
23:46
Speaker 1: the lowest vibration. And so you know what I mean,
23:49
Speaker 1: if you're in a really low vibration and you're you know,
23:52
Speaker 1: muscling fear, then that's what you're going to bring into
23:57
Speaker 1: your life. That's what's gonna amplify. It's like what you
24:01
Speaker 1: focus on expands, where where focus goes, energy flows. They
24:05
Speaker 1: are all those ways of saying, like we really need
24:08
Speaker 1: to recommit to where we get our certainty from. I
24:12
Speaker 1: think that's also really important. Right now, your home alone,
24:15
Speaker 1: what is going to make you feel? It's a basic
24:17
Speaker 1: human needs certainty and we can program that, we can
24:21
Speaker 1: design that into our lives. So it can look like
24:25
Speaker 1: like what you were asking about, what do you do
24:27
Speaker 1: in your home? You know, spiritual practice. It could be
24:31
Speaker 1: um really getting deeply committed to your health and well being.
24:35
Speaker 1: It can be prioritizing joy and connection, like doubling down
24:40
Speaker 1: on the people that you connect with even though your home,
24:42
Speaker 1: because I think that's how we survive. I think that's
24:44
Speaker 1: how we're wired. And it's saying I am going to
24:48
Speaker 1: offset that fear with love love for self. I mean,
24:52
Speaker 1: now would be a really great time to practice how
24:54
Speaker 1: you're loving on yourself and who you're becoming in this life,
24:58
Speaker 1: so that you feel like you're in control, even though
25:02
Speaker 1: you know, we know we're not totally in control, but
25:04
Speaker 1: that we have some control in this and I think
25:09
Speaker 1: that's vital. And if you are in a place where
25:11
Speaker 1: you're having a really hard time loving yourself, Yeah, what
25:16
Speaker 1: are some tools that we can give our listeners that
25:18
Speaker 1: like tangible tools can go Okay, these are one, two,
25:21
Speaker 1: and three that I could do to really start loving
25:23
Speaker 1: myself and appreciating my value in those types of things. Yeah,
25:27
Speaker 1: I mean this is the highest practice. We just need
25:30
Speaker 1: to honor everyone that this is. Like some people will
25:33
Speaker 1: make it through this life and not nail this one.
25:35
Speaker 1: It's human school one. Oh. I think it's or maybe
25:39
Speaker 1: we should call it the advanced course, because falling in
25:41
Speaker 1: love with yourself is the ultimate and so I think
25:45
Speaker 1: to make it really practical and tangible, it starts with like,
25:50
Speaker 1: this is gonna sound not related, but it is. What's
25:52
Speaker 1: your metaphor for life? Okay, So, like, do you see
25:56
Speaker 1: yourself as my favor it is surfing. I am surfing
26:01
Speaker 1: the waves. I am here to have the time of
26:03
Speaker 1: my life. Nobody ever gets on the ocean for a
26:05
Speaker 1: bad time, right, So, so I think we all came
26:08
Speaker 1: here to like really rock out becoming who we're here
26:11
Speaker 1: to become. I am still trying to fully become me.
26:15
Speaker 1: I think that's why I do this work with people,
26:16
Speaker 1: because I want everybody to really not hold back, you know,
26:19
Speaker 1: like we all need to be fully dialed on. But
26:22
Speaker 1: if I see myself as a surfer, I am generally
26:26
Speaker 1: going to see that I'm out here in the world
26:29
Speaker 1: doing my best. I go out into the water. Sometimes
26:31
Speaker 1: the waves are going to be giant, like they are
26:33
Speaker 1: right now, and in sets that just never stopped coming,
26:37
Speaker 1: and sometimes I will be down in the rip at
26:40
Speaker 1: the bottom of the ocean floor, and sometimes there'll be
26:43
Speaker 1: no waves and I'll be bored, and I'll be out there,
26:45
Speaker 1: hopefully with my friends, you know. But if I look
26:48
Speaker 1: at life like that, then when a wave comes and
26:51
Speaker 1: I get knocked out, I'd do something silly, you know,
26:54
Speaker 1: or I I could say I failed. There is no
26:59
Speaker 1: failing if you're out there right. This is a simple
27:02
Speaker 1: way of seeing how you're showing up in the world
27:04
Speaker 1: and going at well back on the board next wave,
27:08
Speaker 1: you know. Or if there's a tussle out there with
27:12
Speaker 1: people all in the water, you know, you come back
27:15
Speaker 1: to wait. I'm here to become my best self. I'm
27:18
Speaker 1: just here to become Shari. You guys are there to
27:21
Speaker 1: become you, you know. And if we can soften with
27:24
Speaker 1: what that looks like, I think that's at the base
27:27
Speaker 1: of it. That's really like giving ourselves the self compassion. Also,
27:31
Speaker 1: Kristen Enough is the writer of the book Self Compassion.
27:34
Speaker 1: She's so brilliant. This is a really practical moment. She's
27:38
Speaker 1: She tells a story about how she's on a plane,
27:41
Speaker 1: like a cross continental super long flight with her son,
27:45
Speaker 1: who is having the world's most giant tantrum, you know,
27:49
Speaker 1: like of course right in the middle of the night
27:51
Speaker 1: when everyone's trying to sleep on the plane and he
27:53
Speaker 1: is freaking out in the aisles, fleaeling, throwing his body around,
27:58
Speaker 1: and that would be kind of like an what it
28:00
Speaker 1: feels like right now in the world. And she instead
28:04
Speaker 1: of you know, putting all of her attention on him
28:07
Speaker 1: and trying to calm him down and freaking out about
28:09
Speaker 1: what people are thinking about her, she does this miraculous
28:12
Speaker 1: thing where she puts about ten of her attention on him,
28:15
Speaker 1: puts her hand on his body and just allows for
28:18
Speaker 1: some energy and love to go through her to him,
28:21
Speaker 1: to calm him with her attention on herself, and starts
28:25
Speaker 1: talking to herself like she's her best friend, like, oh baby,
28:29
Speaker 1: you're doing such a good job. Look at you. You
28:31
Speaker 1: great mama, this is so hard, I love you. Just
28:36
Speaker 1: just drenches herself with exactly the way we would talk
28:39
Speaker 1: to each other, you know, And within minutes he calmed,
28:44
Speaker 1: I mean, I think you hit it. She both of
28:47
Speaker 1: you guys had the nail on the head. Is like,
28:49
Speaker 1: sometimes we talk to ourselves in a way we would
28:53
Speaker 1: never talk to anybody. Never I find myself some of myself,
28:59
Speaker 1: you know though, I'm like, what are you doing to yourself?
29:02
Speaker 1: And then it, you know, it turns into such a spiral,
29:05
Speaker 1: and I so I think that's so important is what
29:07
Speaker 1: are what are the things we continue repeating to ourselves?
29:12
Speaker 1: And you know, you think about that friend who just
29:14
Speaker 1: doesn't want to go outside. And I know there's all
29:17
Speaker 1: kinds of science and data that say getting out in nature,
29:20
Speaker 1: barefoot in the dirt is critical for your health right now,
29:24
Speaker 1: for your gut, for the microbiome, for for your immune system,
29:28
Speaker 1: for the vitamin D you know, all the reasons that
29:31
Speaker 1: we know in our bones, we knew what made us
29:33
Speaker 1: healthy before all of this. And so she just needs
29:37
Speaker 1: to really like sit there and do maybe a silent
29:40
Speaker 1: you know, eyes closed practice, just saying like I am love,
29:44
Speaker 1: I am love, I am love, like just drenching herself
29:48
Speaker 1: on that, because we all are actually at our route.
29:50
Speaker 1: We are love. We just you know, get out there
29:53
Speaker 1: and fight her flight and survival mode and we forget
29:56
Speaker 1: so she can remember that and then put her little
29:59
Speaker 1: mask on, you know, and go out and go where
30:01
Speaker 1: there's not going to be anyone else, if that's what
30:04
Speaker 1: feels safer. But get out there or like you know,
30:07
Speaker 1: Hacket in ways that she can get her groceries delivered
30:10
Speaker 1: and all the things. But be really kind to herself,
30:12
Speaker 1: because I think the gentler she can be about this
30:16
Speaker 1: moment in time, and knowing that, you know, if she
30:19
Speaker 1: could just say like I am held if there's some
30:22
Speaker 1: kind of knowing that the world is conspiring for us,
30:25
Speaker 1: that this moment is a great awakening, I think, and
30:29
Speaker 1: that we're going to come through this way better humans,
30:31
Speaker 1: all of us. It's just self soothing for her, it's
30:36
Speaker 1: going to be really important. Well, thank you so much
30:39
Speaker 1: for joining us. And self self soothing, good self talk,
30:43
Speaker 1: all of these things are so important, and I appreciate
30:46
Speaker 1: you for joining us today. I love it. It's so
30:49
Speaker 1: fun being with you. Where do people find you? Oh,
30:53
Speaker 1: instead the Luminaries, UM, because I think we're all just
30:57
Speaker 1: big shiny light people who need to get out there
30:59
Speaker 1: and light up this world. And Shari Healy dot com
31:02
Speaker 1: perfect much. All right, take care. So you guys, I'm
31:16
Speaker 1: so excited to have this next guest on Dr Topeka UM.
31:20
Speaker 1: And then you're joining myself and my friend Laurie Harder.
31:23
Speaker 1: Thank you Joinning Teddy teapod today. Hi, I'm so excited
31:27
Speaker 1: to be here because I honestly went through all like
31:32
Speaker 1: one I watched your UM, I read your Forbes article,
31:35
Speaker 1: and I immediately became obsessed with you. I was like,
31:39
Speaker 1: this is so incredible. So do you mind if we
31:41
Speaker 1: even just start there? Like the twelve ways to be optimistic? Sure, um, yeah,
31:50
Speaker 1: well actually I have um like a hundred ways to
31:53
Speaker 1: be optimistic. Um. I actually created the things are Looking
31:57
Speaker 1: at Optimism deck of cards and this has fifty two ways.
32:01
Speaker 1: Um there science based um or holistic based suggestions or
32:07
Speaker 1: prompts that actually inspire optimism and resiliency. And so when
32:11
Speaker 1: I was interviewed for Forbes, um, it was really difficult
32:15
Speaker 1: to pick just twelve. That's the hardest thing for me
32:18
Speaker 1: is picking like a short list. There's so many, and
32:21
Speaker 1: most of them are you know, coming from resources or
32:25
Speaker 1: tools that we actually all already possessed. We just uh
32:29
Speaker 1: don't really have the experience or time or um information
32:37
Speaker 1: to really start sharpening those tools. And that's what I'm
32:40
Speaker 1: really passionate about is helping people create their own tools
32:44
Speaker 1: that they can use um in their everyday life. Um.
32:48
Speaker 1: You know, that is a way of self mastery, so
32:51
Speaker 1: it doesn't require being dependent on anyone else. And something
32:55
Speaker 1: else that I I saw that you were talking about
32:58
Speaker 1: that I really loved is the evidence based manifestation. Can
33:04
Speaker 1: you explain that a little bit? Yeah, So for me,
33:07
Speaker 1: that really, um, my specialty is really blending together holistic
33:12
Speaker 1: practices with real evidence based science. I'm um definitely a
33:17
Speaker 1: bit of a brain nerd. And for me, the way
33:20
Speaker 1: that whole path went was I did not get into
33:24
Speaker 1: anything that I'm doing right now from a linear way
33:27
Speaker 1: at all. It was all over the place I actually started. UM.
33:32
Speaker 1: When I was in undergrad I worked for a punk label,
33:35
Speaker 1: which was really interesting and amazing. Um. And then I
33:39
Speaker 1: was actually an investment banker, and then I worked in
33:42
Speaker 1: the public health realm um. And then I found my
33:45
Speaker 1: way in a bit of a crisis and not sure
33:49
Speaker 1: really what I wanted to do, and UM, I took
33:52
Speaker 1: a trip to Japan actually by myself in my mid twenties,
33:57
Speaker 1: and I just booked a one way ticket and it
34:00
Speaker 1: was sort of my eat, pray, love, I guess at
34:02
Speaker 1: a super young age. I just literally called my parents
34:05
Speaker 1: and I was like, I quit my job and I
34:07
Speaker 1: bought a ticket to Japan. And they were like what.
34:10
Speaker 1: And I've never I'm not like a big risk taker.
34:13
Speaker 1: So this was very shocking too many people. But for
34:15
Speaker 1: some reason I at that time I felt like I
34:17
Speaker 1: really needed Japan. I don't know why, and so I
34:20
Speaker 1: went and I went for a couple of months and UM,
34:24
Speaker 1: The long story short is it gave me a lot
34:26
Speaker 1: of time to just figure out the things that I
34:30
Speaker 1: was passionate about and the things that I really wanted
34:33
Speaker 1: to do and things that I had been doing in
34:36
Speaker 1: my sort of previous really early on in careers. I
34:39
Speaker 1: graduated from undergrad pretty early, I I wanted to get
34:42
Speaker 1: out into the workforce, which is really ironic because I
34:45
Speaker 1: ended up going back to school for many many years
34:48
Speaker 1: after that. But basically, I you know, came back and
34:52
Speaker 1: I decided I wanted to pursue psychology, and UM, I
34:56
Speaker 1: knocked on every single door at U c l a
34:59
Speaker 1: s Neuropsychiatric Institute because I'm U c l A was
35:02
Speaker 1: my alma mater for undergrad too, and um, two people
35:06
Speaker 1: gave me a chance, and I fell in love with
35:08
Speaker 1: the field, and I applied for my master's program. I
35:12
Speaker 1: ended up completing that and then doing my doctorate in
35:14
Speaker 1: clinical health psychology. And really, like, I've always been someone
35:19
Speaker 1: that has had a really connected spiritual practice and UM,
35:27
Speaker 1: but I also was that same person that always needed
35:30
Speaker 1: to know why. I was the kid that was like,
35:32
Speaker 1: but why, but why? And so I think I used,
35:35
Speaker 1: um selfishly my grad school experience to really research some
35:41
Speaker 1: of the things I really believed in, but I didn't
35:43
Speaker 1: know why they worked, and I wanted to know why
35:45
Speaker 1: from like a research point of view, and so UM
35:48
Speaker 1: I really dug into making my graduate research and even
35:53
Speaker 1: my dissertation the whole thing on just almost like a
35:56
Speaker 1: self discovery path. And I think that's really one of
36:00
Speaker 1: the only ways to get through a dissertation. You need
36:02
Speaker 1: to really love and be super curious about what you're
36:05
Speaker 1: doing because it's so much time and so much effort.
36:08
Speaker 1: And so I ended up doing my dissertation UM during
36:10
Speaker 1: grad school on UM basically how to increase more positive
36:16
Speaker 1: future directed thinking. So that's optimism through various UH tools,
36:21
Speaker 1: and one of which I really studied was sensory based
36:23
Speaker 1: visual imagery, and so that's visualization. And this was like
36:27
Speaker 1: over a decade ago. UM. There wasn't much on it
36:30
Speaker 1: then like there is now, And the people that were
36:33
Speaker 1: more in the scientific community that I was running into
36:36
Speaker 1: were like, what you're doing seems a little too hippotie dippity.
36:40
Speaker 1: And then the people in the hippotie dippity community were like,
36:42
Speaker 1: you seem like you're a little too science, And so
36:44
Speaker 1: I felt like it took a really long time to
36:47
Speaker 1: blend the two and find my time and space and
36:50
Speaker 1: it's right now, which is pretty cool. I just stuck
36:53
Speaker 1: stuck to it because it's all I knew and all
36:55
Speaker 1: I wanted to do. But but within that search, I
36:58
Speaker 1: really started researching the brain more and I found that
37:02
Speaker 1: the brain, UM, we don't know everything about the brain,
37:05
Speaker 1: but we do know quite a bit, and we keep
37:07
Speaker 1: learning more. And what we know about the brain is
37:09
Speaker 1: it's anticipatory organ So the brain UM is future directed.
37:14
Speaker 1: And I mean this in terms of everything that our
37:17
Speaker 1: brain does. UM. You know, is in future tense, like
37:20
Speaker 1: what you see UM. Your brain tells you what you
37:23
Speaker 1: see faster than your eyes see it. And sometimes when
37:26
Speaker 1: you think about eating a specific type of food, your
37:30
Speaker 1: brain already releases enough insulin to break down that food
37:33
Speaker 1: even before you eat the food. So it's always creating
37:36
Speaker 1: these like future directed pathways that are really great because
37:39
Speaker 1: your brain's efficient UM. And so it was confusing to
37:43
Speaker 1: me that so many of the theoretical perspectives I was
37:46
Speaker 1: studying UM within the therapy world, we're past driven. And
37:50
Speaker 1: I was kind of like, I think a lot of
37:52
Speaker 1: people are getting to the idea of you know, being
37:55
Speaker 1: in the here and the now, but not a lot
37:57
Speaker 1: of people are sort of putting enough weight on how
38:00
Speaker 1: important your future directed thoughts are and everything that you
38:04
Speaker 1: think about in your future, whether it's two minutes from now,
38:08
Speaker 1: ten minutes from now, an hour for an hour, five
38:10
Speaker 1: years from now, that it affects how you feel, and
38:12
Speaker 1: that affects your emotions, which then affect your behavior. So
38:16
Speaker 1: I started getting really interested in this idea of what
38:19
Speaker 1: are people expecting and so UM right now we're sort
38:24
Speaker 1: of in and I'm in l A obviously, so I'm
38:26
Speaker 1: on the coast. I'm biased, but I feel like over
38:29
Speaker 1: the past couple of years, you can't really get like,
38:32
Speaker 1: you can't go by UM your day without hearing someone
38:36
Speaker 1: say the M word manifestation. It's sort of blown up
38:39
Speaker 1: and become this really popular UM process or idea, and
38:45
Speaker 1: a lot of it comes from the Law of Attraction
38:48
Speaker 1: and UM this book that was written by Abraham Hicks
38:53
Speaker 1: and anyway, that's a whole another story, but basically I
38:57
Speaker 1: think that for me, when I say evidence based me innifestation,
39:01
Speaker 1: I put less emphasis on what people want and I
39:05
Speaker 1: put a lot more emphasis on what people are expecting
39:08
Speaker 1: because the research really shows that you don't always get
39:12
Speaker 1: what you want, but you most always get what you expect.
39:15
Speaker 1: And so for me, the work with people is bridging
39:17
Speaker 1: that gap. Like, you could want something ten out of ten,
39:21
Speaker 1: but if you only expect it that it could happen
39:23
Speaker 1: two out of ten, it's most likely not happening. So
39:26
Speaker 1: it's really bridging that gap. Did you give an example
39:29
Speaker 1: for me? Yeah? Sure. So for example, let's say somebody
39:33
Speaker 1: really wants to be in a relationship, and you know,
39:37
Speaker 1: ten out of ten, ten they've made vision boards of
39:40
Speaker 1: who their future partner would look like, what they would
39:42
Speaker 1: be like, how it would feel to be with them,
39:45
Speaker 1: all of that, and if you ask them, yeah, to
39:47
Speaker 1: measure it, they're like, yes, I I want this so badly.
39:51
Speaker 1: It's what I want more than anything, is to manifest relationship.
39:55
Speaker 1: And then I forget to ask them, well, how likely
39:59
Speaker 1: do you think that is to happen on a scale
40:01
Speaker 1: of one to ten? Also, you know, do you think
40:03
Speaker 1: that this is going to happen for you and that
40:05
Speaker 1: it can happen? And if they're like, well, I want
40:08
Speaker 1: it ten out of ten, but I only believe that
40:10
Speaker 1: it would happen three out of ten, then we have
40:12
Speaker 1: some work to do. So basically, if our brain works
40:16
Speaker 1: again like that what I was talking about it being
40:18
Speaker 1: really efficient. Our brain really puts forth the energy because
40:22
Speaker 1: we don't have an unlimited quantity of energy um and
40:27
Speaker 1: an unlimited attentional capacity. It's limited, and so our brain
40:31
Speaker 1: puts forth energy into things and helps us problems solved
40:35
Speaker 1: into things that we actually expect could be true. Otherwise
40:38
Speaker 1: it's sort of a waste. It's kind of like you
40:40
Speaker 1: might really want to win the lottery, and if given
40:42
Speaker 1: the chance, you'd be like, of course I want to
40:44
Speaker 1: win the lottery, But you probably don't buy a lottery
40:46
Speaker 1: ticket every day because you don't expect to win, right,
40:49
Speaker 1: And it's that's just how our brain works. And so
40:52
Speaker 1: if you don't expect that a positive you know, relationship
40:55
Speaker 1: can come your way or you can make it happen,
40:58
Speaker 1: you probably aren't you know it in yourself. It's not magic.
41:01
Speaker 1: It's that you probably aren't putting yourself in situations where
41:05
Speaker 1: you might attract that or they may be available to you.
41:08
Speaker 1: Whereas if you believed it more and you thought, yeah,
41:11
Speaker 1: this I really deserve this, I believe this, it can
41:13
Speaker 1: happen for me and it will happen for me. You're
41:16
Speaker 1: probably that person that's more likely to start etching away
41:19
Speaker 1: at your goal, like you know, being social or saying
41:22
Speaker 1: yes to people that want to introduce you to people,
41:25
Speaker 1: or um, you know, being in a confident state where
41:30
Speaker 1: you are open to meet somebody. Does that make sense? Yes,
41:34
Speaker 1: And so if you're not like you could want it,
41:36
Speaker 1: but maybe you're you know, it's sort of that idea
41:38
Speaker 1: that people talk about self sabotage, but really it's like
41:41
Speaker 1: if you don't expect something to happen and you really
41:43
Speaker 1: really want it, and that bridge isn't gapped, then your
41:46
Speaker 1: brain isn't working for you to try to help you
41:48
Speaker 1: come up with solutions and problem solve your way into
41:52
Speaker 1: making that more of a reality. Do you think that
41:55
Speaker 1: a lot of people are aware that they are doing that,
42:00
Speaker 1: like that they're not actually expecting it, they're just wanting it. No,
42:05
Speaker 1: I don't I think that. Um, we've only recently got
42:09
Speaker 1: into this whole um sort of phase or I don't
42:13
Speaker 1: even know what to call it, but we've only recently
42:16
Speaker 1: kind of accepted this idea of kind of like self
42:20
Speaker 1: growth and working on ourselves and the popular topics are
42:24
Speaker 1: kind of you know, gratitude which is great, and manifesting
42:29
Speaker 1: or knowing what you want, and sort of vision boarding.
42:32
Speaker 1: Over the last like five or six years or maybe
42:34
Speaker 1: even ten, it's been like this popular thing for people
42:36
Speaker 1: to do, like vision board parties, and it's become more
42:39
Speaker 1: mainstream that mainstream even like people in offices talk about
42:43
Speaker 1: vision boarding, which is all amazing and all great, But
42:46
Speaker 1: I still think that this idea of the connection to
42:49
Speaker 1: the expectation UM, when I speak about it to crowds
42:53
Speaker 1: of you know, hundreds of people, it's like this aha
42:55
Speaker 1: moment where they hadn't really thought about that before and
42:58
Speaker 1: connected to the two together or even ask themselves that
43:01
Speaker 1: follow up question, um, you know, after really figuring out
43:05
Speaker 1: what they want, how much they actually expect it or
43:08
Speaker 1: what are they anticipating, and how do those two match
43:12
Speaker 1: or completely not match? And that's to me where I
43:15
Speaker 1: feel the real work has to be done is bridging that.
43:18
Speaker 1: So for example, if someone UM doesn't has has it
43:23
Speaker 1: holds the core belief that they don't really love themselves. UM,
43:27
Speaker 1: you know, there's work that has to be done before
43:31
Speaker 1: they can manifest all the things that can and will happen.
43:35
Speaker 1: If they do love themselves. But there's another whole caveat
43:38
Speaker 1: here where I don't believe that the effective way to
43:42
Speaker 1: that is are these blanket statement affirmations. So a way
43:46
Speaker 1: they get there is not and I'm gonna be very
43:49
Speaker 1: clear about that is not looking in front of the
43:51
Speaker 1: mirror and just saying ten times I love myself. Because
43:54
Speaker 1: your brain is much smarter than that. Um. You know,
43:57
Speaker 1: you have to believe it, and it has to be
43:59
Speaker 1: authentic and it has to be true otherwise your brain.
44:02
Speaker 1: Let's say that's your core belief, you don't love yourself
44:05
Speaker 1: and you don't deserve a good relationship, and you stand
44:08
Speaker 1: in front of a mirror and say the exact opposite.
44:10
Speaker 1: Your brain has thirty plus years on its side that
44:13
Speaker 1: has collected evidence to believe that to be untrue. And
44:16
Speaker 1: we'll just that's what your mind will do. It'll say, no,
44:19
Speaker 1: that's not true. You say that, you can start to
44:22
Speaker 1: do it, and then also, how do you teach that
44:24
Speaker 1: to your children? Yeah, so the way you can start
44:28
Speaker 1: to do it is there are plenty of statements or
44:31
Speaker 1: if you want to call them, affirmations, that you can
44:34
Speaker 1: say that you truly do believe that maybe aren't as
44:36
Speaker 1: weighty and big in general as that. So I'd rather
44:39
Speaker 1: help someone come up with a couple that they actually believe,
44:42
Speaker 1: like seven out of ten. So in that circumstance, I
44:45
Speaker 1: would ask them, you know, what's one thing that you
44:48
Speaker 1: do really enjoy about yourself or you do like about yourself?
44:51
Speaker 1: And maybe they can pick something, you know, small or big,
44:54
Speaker 1: but it's specific, and so maybe it's like I really
44:58
Speaker 1: like what a loyal friend I am, or or how
45:00
Speaker 1: I tell a story, or you know, I I'm really
45:04
Speaker 1: respectful or I'm really honest. And so then I'd have
45:07
Speaker 1: them measure that those statements and if they believe those
45:10
Speaker 1: to be seven out of tent, those are the statements.
45:12
Speaker 1: I want them to stay in front of the mirror,
45:14
Speaker 1: and you say them enough times and you believe them.
45:16
Speaker 1: You start then seeking out other pieces of evidence that
45:20
Speaker 1: go towards like you like yourself, and after a while
45:24
Speaker 1: you have enough evidence that you actually can say that
45:27
Speaker 1: it's just too fast. I love that. That's so smart.
45:30
Speaker 1: Like I just started thinking about mine. I'm like, Lorie,
45:33
Speaker 1: what's yours? Mine is? I Like, I'm a really committed person,
45:36
Speaker 1: I am very organized person, and I by says I
45:39
Speaker 1: I keep my word, but like loriie, what are yours?
45:42
Speaker 1: And then what are yours? Dr Pica? Um, you know
45:46
Speaker 1: what mine is. I like to create experiences for people.
45:49
Speaker 1: I'm fun. I like to make people laugh like I
45:52
Speaker 1: I like to make people laugh. Um. I like my energy. Yeah,
45:58
Speaker 1: I can feel it from zoom. That's amazing. Um. Yeah.
46:03
Speaker 1: So it's really more so about being specific, um instead
46:07
Speaker 1: of like general, and making it really custom and unique
46:10
Speaker 1: to you. And the more you're able, And that's really
46:13
Speaker 1: true for so many things. It's true for when you
46:15
Speaker 1: use visualization as a technique. Um, the more you can
46:18
Speaker 1: make something unique and true for you and that you
46:22
Speaker 1: actually believe, the more your brain is going to work
46:26
Speaker 1: for you, and you can help your brain work better
46:29
Speaker 1: for you, if that makes sense. And then how do
46:32
Speaker 1: you how do we dig into this and lean into
46:33
Speaker 1: it when it comes to our kids? You know, it's
46:36
Speaker 1: so interesting, but I feel like kids are a lot
46:39
Speaker 1: better at this than we are to even begin with.
46:42
Speaker 1: And before like even talking about the idea of optimism,
46:47
Speaker 1: I feel like I really need to define it because
46:50
Speaker 1: it's another thing that kind of I think gets a
46:52
Speaker 1: little misrepresented. Um. You know, I think when people think
46:57
Speaker 1: of optimism a lot of times, or an optimistic person,
47:00
Speaker 1: they kind of things come to mind. It's like the
47:02
Speaker 1: glass half full, rose colored glasses. Um. And then they
47:06
Speaker 1: start really applying them into sort of the world in
47:10
Speaker 1: which we live in today, and they start thinking like, oh,
47:13
Speaker 1: they think about people that are positive all the time
47:15
Speaker 1: three s five days out of the year. This like filtered,
47:19
Speaker 1: really overly positive life. Um. Kind of sounds like an instagram,
47:24
Speaker 1: but basically that's just not true. And and UM, a
47:29
Speaker 1: lot of times people when they think about that definition
47:32
Speaker 1: of optimism, they come back with, well, I I don't
47:35
Speaker 1: want to be an optimist because that's devoid of reality.
47:37
Speaker 1: And um, you know, and that's true if that's your
47:40
Speaker 1: definition of it. But the true definition of an optimist
47:44
Speaker 1: is someone that sees the roadblocks. They're very mindful of
47:47
Speaker 1: the the less than ideal situations and the things that
47:50
Speaker 1: don't go their way and the struggles. But the caveat
47:53
Speaker 1: is they see them as temporary and something that they
47:56
Speaker 1: have the ability to overcome. So you really can't talk
47:59
Speaker 1: about optimism without talking about resiliency. And you know, the
48:03
Speaker 1: way we build optimism is we build our resiliency muscle
48:06
Speaker 1: and we grow and we go grow through heart experiences,
48:10
Speaker 1: and you know, being optimistic is about being able. It's tough,
48:13
Speaker 1: but it's about being able to hold um an emotion
48:17
Speaker 1: of you know, not feeling so great about something and
48:20
Speaker 1: being disappointed or even fearful at the same time holding
48:25
Speaker 1: an emotion of hope or that things might get better
48:27
Speaker 1: or that things will not always be this way, and
48:30
Speaker 1: that Oh I've you know, I've been through struggles before
48:33
Speaker 1: and I've gotten through them, so I actually have the
48:35
Speaker 1: power I don't. I may not know how um or
48:37
Speaker 1: exactly when, but I know I can get through this.
48:42
Speaker 1: And kids are better at this than we are, is
48:45
Speaker 1: what I was going to say. Um, you know, there's
48:48
Speaker 1: so much I've learned that I have a three year
48:50
Speaker 1: old um right now, and through the pandemic experience, I
48:54
Speaker 1: was so worried about him, just like we just about
48:57
Speaker 1: started preschool before and now he can't go. He hasn't
49:00
Speaker 1: obviously seen other kids. Really we're being really extra careful,
49:04
Speaker 1: and I felt so badly for him, and just like
49:08
Speaker 1: our routines are all messed up. My husband and I
49:10
Speaker 1: are both working parents like so many people out there,
49:13
Speaker 1: and have a toddler and have no help and all
49:17
Speaker 1: of that, and it's you know, there's so many things
49:20
Speaker 1: that run through my mind of feeling badly for him,
49:23
Speaker 1: and whether it's you know, again the routine being shaken up,
49:26
Speaker 1: or not having enough socialization, or having to deal with
49:29
Speaker 1: really crabby, irritable parents because it's just too much. But
49:33
Speaker 1: I've just been so surprised and in awe of over
49:37
Speaker 1: and over this, like, wow, my child and so many
49:41
Speaker 1: kids and all kids. I've read about it in research,
49:44
Speaker 1: but I'm seeing it in real hand. They're really resilient
49:46
Speaker 1: and yeah, they they have and that just helps me
49:51
Speaker 1: realize that, you know, we have that in us. We
49:53
Speaker 1: all do. It's just a matter of how much life
49:55
Speaker 1: has gone by, how much evidence we've collected, how much perception,
50:01
Speaker 1: we've kind of an energy we've given to certain things
50:03
Speaker 1: that have happened and what we've made of them. Whereas
50:06
Speaker 1: kids kind of start at somewhat of a you know,
50:08
Speaker 1: blank slate, and so I think it's a good way
50:11
Speaker 1: to see where we were and where we can go
50:14
Speaker 1: back to um in terms of resiliency, and they don't
50:17
Speaker 1: really have UM the labels that we put on some
50:22
Speaker 1: of the emotions. So sometimes when a kid is stressed
50:24
Speaker 1: out or upset, they don't really have the emotions and
50:28
Speaker 1: the definitions that we put on them, like these are
50:32
Speaker 1: really bad things, like sometimes stress and anxiety, I mean
50:35
Speaker 1: obviously on a continuum, it depends how it's impacting you.
50:38
Speaker 1: But sometimes there's positive benefits in them, you know, And
50:42
Speaker 1: they can be signals to us that you know, something
50:45
Speaker 1: isn't right. We need to reach out for support, Maybe
50:48
Speaker 1: we need to take a breath, maybe we need to rest,
50:50
Speaker 1: And it's sort of like a signal like hunger is
50:53
Speaker 1: to tell you that you're hungry. And it's just this
50:55
Speaker 1: new way of learning how to re label um some
51:00
Speaker 1: of these emotions that come up that we've kind of
51:03
Speaker 1: been taught, especially now in our society to like push
51:06
Speaker 1: under the rug or the thing that I can't stand
51:09
Speaker 1: the most is good vibes, only it really like drives
51:13
Speaker 1: into this like this place that we're headed, which is
51:17
Speaker 1: toxic positivity. So as an optimism doctor, I just put
51:20
Speaker 1: it out there like being positive all the time is
51:25
Speaker 1: not human. It's not human. It's setting yourself up for failure,
51:32
Speaker 1: and it's actually not a good way to increase your
51:35
Speaker 1: optimism or joy or happiness at all, So just take
51:40
Speaker 1: that pressure off yourself right now. Well, and I'm saying
51:44
Speaker 1: so much right now is especially in homes where maybe
51:48
Speaker 1: one person you know, maybe the husband or the wife,
51:50
Speaker 1: whomever it may be, or your roommate, but one of
51:53
Speaker 1: you is doing really well and the other one is
51:56
Speaker 1: feeling stuck or down, and so it's they're kind of flatline,
52:00
Speaker 1: and there's all these divorces happening or friendships are ending.
52:03
Speaker 1: What do you recommend if you're having that struggle in
52:06
Speaker 1: the household right now? Yeah, So a couple of things.
52:10
Speaker 1: The first thing is I really like throughout this whole thing,
52:14
Speaker 1: if I could pick, it's really hard. Like I said before,
52:18
Speaker 1: I'm not good at picking like a few things. But
52:20
Speaker 1: if I could pick, like a couple of things in
52:22
Speaker 1: my top three for during this time of optimism tools,
52:27
Speaker 1: one of which would be self compassion and really being
52:32
Speaker 1: able to allow yourself to lean in to the emotion
52:35
Speaker 1: you're feeling, whether it's anxiety or depression, grief loss. Right now,
52:40
Speaker 1: a lot of people are underestimating what we're going through.
52:43
Speaker 1: And what we're going through is levels of trauma and
52:46
Speaker 1: grief and loss and and anxiety and the fear of
52:49
Speaker 1: uncertainty and so many things. Um So, first of all,
52:53
Speaker 1: being able to be self compassionate and lean in so
52:55
Speaker 1: that idea of not just trying to throw a positive
52:58
Speaker 1: right on top of it, leaning into it is the
53:00
Speaker 1: only way out of it. And that's the same for
53:03
Speaker 1: someone that you live with. So how you might deal
53:06
Speaker 1: with stress or anxiety or uncertainty during this time could
53:10
Speaker 1: be very different than how your partner is dealing with it.
53:12
Speaker 1: And you may have thought, you know how your partner
53:14
Speaker 1: deals with something, but none of us have been through
53:16
Speaker 1: this before. So part of it is allowing some space
53:19
Speaker 1: for your partner to experience and not falling into the
53:23
Speaker 1: trap of adding to this toxic positivity and saying something
53:27
Speaker 1: like why can't you just be positive? Or I don't
53:29
Speaker 1: want this negative energy in here. It's more just like
53:33
Speaker 1: what do you need right now for me? And do
53:35
Speaker 1: you want some comfort or do you need some space? Um,
53:38
Speaker 1: you know, I get it. This is really tough. I mean,
53:41
Speaker 1: my husband and I I think we have a pretty
53:44
Speaker 1: good relationship, but yeah, we have thought so much more
53:48
Speaker 1: during this time, and I think the saving grace is
53:52
Speaker 1: really open communication between us and this idea that I
53:56
Speaker 1: keep playing back in my head that I say to
53:58
Speaker 1: other people that sometimes it's hard to practice, but like
54:01
Speaker 1: he's going to have his emotions towards all of this
54:06
Speaker 1: just like I will. And they're not going to be
54:07
Speaker 1: at the exact same time and they're not going to
54:09
Speaker 1: look the same, so being able to allow them to
54:11
Speaker 1: lean into and and maybe just that you know, I
54:15
Speaker 1: always say when I work with couples, I think it's
54:17
Speaker 1: amazing to talk about how you guys love each other.
54:20
Speaker 1: And I find that really interesting because I'm hopeless romantic
54:23
Speaker 1: and I love to hear that. But from a clinical
54:26
Speaker 1: standpoint or from a professional standpoint, I'm more interested in
54:30
Speaker 1: how you guys fight, Like what is your fighting style?
54:33
Speaker 1: And I think that's worth a conversation between partners, especially
54:37
Speaker 1: right now when we're in such close quarters and our
54:39
Speaker 1: responsibilities are so much more and our places that we
54:43
Speaker 1: used to look towards help are so much less. Is
54:46
Speaker 1: really about, like, let's have a conversation about how we fight,
54:50
Speaker 1: and how when when you're upset, what do you need?
54:53
Speaker 1: Looks very different than when I'm upset what do I need?
54:56
Speaker 1: I might need a hug and to get it resolved
54:58
Speaker 1: right away, and you might need space and to take
55:00
Speaker 1: a moment and you know, you might need to scream
55:02
Speaker 1: into a pillow, and you know I might need to
55:05
Speaker 1: put on some music and just dance. I'm the type
55:08
Speaker 1: that needs to hug. I want to hug and to
55:10
Speaker 1: resolve it, and my husband needs space and then over it.
55:14
Speaker 1: But if I have space, I st write. And so
55:17
Speaker 1: if you didn't know that about each other and actually
55:20
Speaker 1: give each other the respect you know for each other's um,
55:24
Speaker 1: how you deal with it? Can you see how that
55:26
Speaker 1: could just go so awry and so many times over
55:29
Speaker 1: and over and it just you know, you give up.
55:32
Speaker 1: And so I think it's always worth a conversation. UM,
55:37
Speaker 1: I would say even more so, more so worth it
55:40
Speaker 1: than talking about like love styles is really talking about
55:43
Speaker 1: fighting styles and getting to like match on those. And
55:47
Speaker 1: it can be uncomfortable because it really, you know, it's
55:50
Speaker 1: a situation that is is not comfortable to start with,
55:53
Speaker 1: and then you have to start changing the way you
55:56
Speaker 1: behave you know, because you're trying to respect you know,
55:59
Speaker 1: the someone else's receiving it. But I think that it's
56:03
Speaker 1: super important to have those conversations, and like we have
56:07
Speaker 1: had to have those conversations in front of our son,
56:10
Speaker 1: and I've wondered about that, but I actually feel like,
56:12
Speaker 1: of course, not having like some crazy, drawn out brawl
56:16
Speaker 1: in front of your child, but I've found that like
56:18
Speaker 1: sometimes when you know, we have an argument and our
56:21
Speaker 1: son is with us all the time, now, really explaining
56:24
Speaker 1: to my son like what just happened and then also
56:27
Speaker 1: allowing my son to see how we worked through it
56:31
Speaker 1: and how we make up um is really important because again,
56:35
Speaker 1: like you know, I've worked with plenty of patients and
56:39
Speaker 1: clients that you know, came from family backgrounds where nothing
56:43
Speaker 1: like that was ever discussed at all, and emotions were
56:46
Speaker 1: sort of pushed under the rug, whether it was love
56:48
Speaker 1: emotions or even arguments. And the truth is we're going
56:52
Speaker 1: to argue people that are close and that love each
56:56
Speaker 1: other and especially are close physically as well. You're gonna
56:59
Speaker 1: not You're gonna disagree about things the same with like
57:02
Speaker 1: you're gonna have stress. Stress is a response, you know,
57:05
Speaker 1: to life, but it's how you perceive it and how
57:08
Speaker 1: you perceive your arguments and how you go through them
57:11
Speaker 1: that really matters. Don't don't get it twisted like it's
57:15
Speaker 1: not not gonna happen. Yeah, No, one's escaping this. No
57:19
Speaker 1: one's escaping that exactly. Oh, Like, I'm so bummed more
57:23
Speaker 1: out of time because this podcast is like giving me
57:28
Speaker 1: so much, Like it's it's filling my take. I'm feeling good.
57:32
Speaker 1: I'm I am so grateful that you guys could join me.
57:36
Speaker 1: Um you have the podcast as well, right, it's called
57:39
Speaker 1: Looking Up. Yeah, it's called Looking Up with Dr deepica
57:42
Speaker 1: Chopra perfect Um. So you guys have to do in
57:45
Speaker 1: and listen and then where do they follow you on Instagram?
57:48
Speaker 1: So you can follow me at Dr deepaka Chopra or
57:51
Speaker 1: at all Things are looking Up? And the podcast just
57:53
Speaker 1: launched two days ago. The first two episodes are out.
57:56
Speaker 1: One is with a Stanford health psychologists all about stress,
57:59
Speaker 1: and the other one is with one of my favorite
58:01
Speaker 1: NBA players, Meta World Peace. And the podcast is amazing
58:05
Speaker 1: because it is all about resiliency and I interview other
58:10
Speaker 1: experts in the field, so there's practical tools that I'm
58:13
Speaker 1: hoping to get out there, but also it's just real, honest,
58:16
Speaker 1: raw human storytelling. I love that so much and thank
58:21
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us. I truly appreciate it.
58:24
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. Like, uh LORI, how do
58:33
Speaker 1: you feel okay, I like my mind is blown. Thank
58:38
Speaker 1: you so much for having me on here. Let me
58:40
Speaker 1: just tell you, like that want versus expectation was like
58:44
Speaker 1: everything for me because I'm a huge visualizer and I
58:47
Speaker 1: truly feel like that's how I've manifested so many things
58:51
Speaker 1: in my life. And there's a lot of times where
58:53
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, how am I supposed to be feeling
58:55
Speaker 1: right now when I'm seeing this picture and that expectation
58:58
Speaker 1: just like, yes, I expect this in my life. The
59:00
Speaker 1: things that have happened is because I'm like, I expect
59:02
Speaker 1: this type of relationship now, I expect these type of friends,
59:05
Speaker 1: and it just like closed the whole gap for me.
59:08
Speaker 1: So you just changed my life by bringing her on
59:10
Speaker 1: and by having like amazing Well I never realized it
59:14
Speaker 1: until she actually said it. I'm like, any of the
59:16
Speaker 1: things that have actually come true in my life, I
59:20
Speaker 1: have expected them to come true. Yeah, not just things
59:24
Speaker 1: that I wanted, you know, Like, yes, there are moments
59:26
Speaker 1: where you want something Like in my mind, even like
59:29
Speaker 1: when I go to like what's happened with my kids?
59:31
Speaker 1: Like I will, I'll be praying and wanting and hoping. Um,
59:35
Speaker 1: but like there are things completely out of my control,
59:37
Speaker 1: and I know I can't expect them because they're completely
59:40
Speaker 1: out of the realm of things that I can't expect,
59:43
Speaker 1: So I don't even have that feeling. But the second
59:46
Speaker 1: she said that, I'm like, Wow, everything that I truly
59:50
Speaker 1: believe in happens. Wow. I literally got chills as you
59:54
Speaker 1: were saying that, because the sentence that downloaded was just
59:58
Speaker 1: hope is the expect paition that your life is always
1:00:01
Speaker 1: going to be better, that it's always getting better, and
1:00:04
Speaker 1: it's just wow. It's the expectation that there's more and
1:00:09
Speaker 1: that it's gonna be okay, and that it's going to
1:00:11
Speaker 1: be good. Um. Yeah, this was so this was so
1:00:15
Speaker 1: good for me. This is for me too, So I'm
1:00:20
Speaker 1: gonna have to bring you on again because that was
1:00:21
Speaker 1: really fun and I love being able to chat with you.
1:00:25
Speaker 1: And um to those of you guys who tuned in,
1:00:28
Speaker 1: I hope this was helpful to you as well, and
1:00:30
Speaker 1: please keep sending in your request on topics to talk about,
1:00:34
Speaker 1: because honestly, not only do I love doing this, but
1:00:37
Speaker 1: it's like therapy for me as well. So keep tuning in,
1:00:41
Speaker 1: keep asking questions, and if you want to find out
1:00:44
Speaker 1: more about Lorie Harder. Where do they find you? Um,
1:00:47
Speaker 1: you can go to at Lorie Harder on Instagram. Otherwise,
1:00:51
Speaker 1: right now I am working on a company called Drink
1:00:54
Speaker 1: Light Pink, so I'm pretty much hanging out over there
1:00:56
Speaker 1: on Instagram. Perfect. Thanks guys. First listening, subscribe to Teddy
1:01:01
Speaker 1: t Pot on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen
1:01:04
Speaker 1: to podcasts. M