Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Jon Stewart _ The News Team Cover The Fallout From the 2024 Election
Transcript
- 0:04Speaker 1: Donald Trump and Kamala Harris have both been making their
- 0:06Speaker 1: closing arguments. For Kamala, it's a message of unity, hope,
- 0:11Speaker 1: and check out who my friends are.
- 0:13Speaker 2: A megawatt all-star lineup on the trail. You can see
- 0:16Speaker 2: some of the scenes right there.
- 0:17Speaker 3: On your screen.
- 0:17Speaker 4: Performances from musicians like Mumford & Sons and Gracie Abrams.
- 0:23Speaker 2: She has Glorilla out here. She has Cardi B, who
- 0:26Speaker 2: wasn't even going to vote four months ago.
- 0:28Speaker 5: Making a surprise appearance on Saturday Night Live, playing the
- 0:31Speaker 5: mirror image of actress Maya Rudolph's version of her. She
- 0:34Speaker 5: is leaning on some big names like Katy Perry, Oprah,
- 0:37Speaker 5: Lady Gaga, Ricky Martin, The Roots, and others to help
- 0:40Speaker 5: get her across the finish line.
- 0:42Speaker 1: Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Ricky Martin. If you stole their
- 0:45Speaker 1: album on LimeWire, they're probably endorsing Kamala Harris. She's coming
- 0:50Speaker 1: for every last SoulCycle vote. Now, while Kamala's ending the
- 0:54Speaker 1: campaign on a note of joy and celebrity hype, Donald
- 0:57Speaker 1: Trump's closing argument is that he's pissed at basically everyone.
- 1:02Speaker 6: Do you want to see me knock the hell out
- 1:04Speaker 6: of people backstage?
- 1:05Speaker 7: You're going to get a bunch of.
- 1:08Speaker 6: Crooks and horrible people. She's a dumb person. Guys like
- 1:12Speaker 6: Adam Shifty-Shift, he'll probably be a senator. Can you believe it?
- 1:15Speaker 6: Watermelon head. What an ugly guy, both inside and out.
- 1:19Speaker 6: It's a very demonic character. And I have this piece
- 1:23Speaker 6: of glass here. And to get me, somebody would have
- 1:28Speaker 6: to shoot through the fake news. And I don't mind
- 1:34Speaker 6: that so much.
- 1:37Speaker 1: He's just casually joking about reporters getting shot.
- 1:44Speaker 2: You know, I guess you'd be grouchy.
- 1:45Speaker 1: Too, if you had to do all your campaign events
- 1:48Speaker 1: encased in glass like a stick of deodorant at Walgreens.
- 1:53Speaker 1: But Trump wasn't just giving off dark vibes. He was
- 1:56Speaker 1: also giving off a weird sexual energy.
- 2:00Speaker 6: I came in today, I said, and you know, this
- 2:03Speaker 6: is after four of these things I've been in, in
- 2:06Speaker 6: all fairness.
- 2:07Speaker 8: I mean, I'm a human being, right?
- 2:11Speaker 6: I come in, and here's the problem.
- 2:13Speaker 7: I said, oh man, it's too low.
- 2:15Speaker 8: I said, it's too low.
- 2:29Speaker 6: Way too low.
- 2:32Speaker 3: Way too low. What are we doing here, people?
- 2:39Speaker 1: I hate to say it, but can we please go
- 2:43Speaker 1: back to the handjob routine, please? I mean, you know
- 2:50Speaker 1: a campaign has gone off the rails when you go
- 2:52Speaker 1: to watch C-SPAN and it asks if you're over 18.
- 2:58Speaker 1: But blowing a mic stand isn't even the weirdest part
- 3:01Speaker 1: of his closing message.
- 3:02Speaker 3: The weirdest part is.
- 3:04Speaker 1: That with just a few days to go, he's now
- 3:06Speaker 1: telling us, oh, by the way, RFK Jr. is going
- 3:09Speaker 1: to do all the president stuff.
- 3:11Speaker 6: And I told the great guy, RFK Jr., I said, Bobby.
- 3:18Speaker 6: You work on women's health. You work on health. You
- 3:21Speaker 6: work on what we eat. You work on pesticides. You
- 3:24Speaker 6: work on everything. The one thing you have to let
- 3:27Speaker 6: me do, Bobby, I got to work the liquid gold.
- 3:31Speaker 6: You're not going to touch that.
- 3:34Speaker 2: You're not going to touch that, no.
- 3:37Speaker 1: Let me work the liquid gold, Bobby.
- 3:38Speaker 2: Let me work it, let me work it.
- 3:40Speaker 1: Okay, okay, let me get this straight. So you're going
- 3:42Speaker 1: to give RFK Jr. women's health, regular health, food, pesticides,
- 3:48Speaker 1: and quote, everything. And in return, you're just going to
- 3:53Speaker 1: suck all the oil out of the ground?
- 3:55Speaker 7: What?
- 3:56Speaker 1: This is a lot of new shit to drop on
- 3:59Speaker 1: us the day before Election Day. You spent two years
- 4:03Speaker 1: talking about tariffs, and now you're like, oh, by the way,
- 4:06Speaker 1: the guy with brain worms is in charge of everybody's health.
- 4:09Speaker 1: You need me, I'll be in Texas working the drills.
- 4:11Speaker 1: You know, you might be thinking, Trump is just talking
- 4:15Speaker 1: out of his ass. But RFK Jr. doesn't think so,
- 4:19Speaker 1: because unlike getting rid of a bear corpse... He's put
- 4:23Speaker 1: a lot of thought into this.
- 4:25Speaker 4: Over the weekend, Kennedy tweeted that the Trump administration would, quote,
- 4:28Speaker 4: advise all U.S. water systems to remove fluoride from public
- 4:31Speaker 4: water on day one. The CDC recommends fluoride in water
- 4:34Speaker 4: as a cost-effective way to improve oral health.
- 4:37Speaker 9: Trump telling NBC News the fluoride removal idea, quote, sounds
- 4:41Speaker 9: okay to me.
- 4:43Speaker 3: Does this sound okay?
- 4:44Speaker 1: Again, this is two days before the election. We haven't
- 4:48Speaker 1: talked about this at all in the last 700 days,
- 4:52Speaker 1: but suddenly the thing that's been normal in this country
- 4:55Speaker 1: for 80 years, it's.
- 4:56Speaker 2: Like, we're going to get rid of that on day one.
- 4:58Speaker 3: I mean, where did this come from?
- 5:00Speaker 1: Even the people who wrote Project 2025 were like, fluoride,
- 5:03Speaker 1: did we put that in here? This whole campaign, I've
- 5:08Speaker 1: been prepping for the worst case scenario, but not the
- 5:11Speaker 1: weirdest case scenario. Now I've got to worry about soft teeth.
- 5:14Speaker 1: You know how many Trump rallies I've been to?
- 5:17Speaker 3: Do you know how many?
- 5:18Speaker 1: Do you know how many? Not once did I ever
- 5:21Speaker 1: hear him say, people's teeth are too hard, we're going
- 5:23Speaker 1: to fix that.
- 5:24Speaker 10: Never!
- 5:25Speaker 3: Here's what we know.
- 5:27Speaker 10: Is that we don't really know anything and that we're
- 5:29Speaker 10: going to come out of this election and we're going
- 5:30Speaker 10: to make all kinds of pronouncements about what this country
- 5:32Speaker 10: is and what this world is. And the truth is,
- 5:35Speaker 10: we're not really going to know shit. And we're going
- 5:38Speaker 10: to make it seem like this is the finality of
- 5:41Speaker 10: our civilization and this and that. We're all going to
- 5:43Speaker 10: have to wake up tomorrow morning and work like hell
- 5:46Speaker 10: to move the world to the place that we prefer
- 5:49Speaker 10: it to be. And I just want to point out,
- 5:50Speaker 10: just as a matter of perspective, that the lessons that
- 5:54Speaker 10: our pundits... take away from these results, that they will
- 5:58Speaker 10: pronounce with certainty, will be wrong. And we have to
- 6:03Speaker 10: remember that. In 2008, when Barack Obama won.
- 6:10Speaker 10: There's no question that this is the beginning, the first
- 6:14Speaker 10: election of the future, really. And I think we are
- 6:16Speaker 10: moving towards a post-racial America. Yeah, that lasted a day.
- 6:23Speaker 10: And then, of course, in 2012, Obama won again. And
- 6:28Speaker 10: the lesson was.
- 6:29Speaker 11: The GOP needs to send a powerful signal to Hispanic
- 6:33Speaker 11: voters that the party respects them.
- 6:37Speaker 10: That was the lesson they learned after that victory.
- 6:42Speaker 3: And they were certain of it.
- 6:43Speaker 10: And send a powerful signal to the Hispanic community, the
- 6:47Speaker 10: GOP did.
- 6:48Speaker 6: When Mexico sends its people, they're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime,
- 6:53Speaker 6: they're rapists.
- 6:55Speaker 3: Which apparently was the winning message.
- 6:58Speaker 10: And that taught Democrats in 2016 what?
- 7:02Speaker 12: Maybe what the Democrats will be looking for is somebody
- 7:04Speaker 12: with some inside experience, but who's a generation younger.
- 7:07Speaker 7: It's obviously going to be younger. It's going to be
- 7:09Speaker 7: from a new generation.
- 7:11Speaker 10: Need I say it?
- 7:13Speaker 11: With great honor and humility, I accept this nomination.
- 7:18Speaker 10: And that turned out to be a winning message again,
- 7:22Speaker 10: which led to an insurrection.
- 7:24Speaker 3: And the lesson from that was.
- 7:27Speaker 10: When Donald Trump leaves office on Wednesday morning, he will
- 7:29Speaker 10: leave Washington a pariah.
- 7:31Speaker 13: Donald Trump will never be allowed to set foot in
- 7:35Speaker 13: the Capitol again.
- 7:37Speaker 2: Never.
- 7:39Speaker 7: Ever.
- 7:41Speaker 3: My point is this. But this isn't the end.
- 7:48Speaker 10: I promise you, this is not the end. And we
- 7:53Speaker 10: have to regroup and we have to continue to fight and.
- 7:59Speaker 3: Continue to work day in.
- 8:02Speaker 10: And day out to create the better society for our children,
- 8:07Speaker 10: for this world, for this country. that we know is possible.
- 8:13Speaker 9: It's possible.
- 8:14Speaker 12: Yesterday was election day. We were all hoping it would
- 8:18Speaker 12: make history, and boy, did it ever.
- 8:20Speaker 8: Mr.
- 8:21Speaker 7: Trump made history last night.
- 8:22Speaker 14: He will be the first convicted felon to be president
- 8:25Speaker 14: of the United States.
- 8:38Speaker 2: Yeah, it's official.
- 8:39Speaker 12: America's elected its first criminal president before electing its first
- 8:44Speaker 12: female president.
- 8:46Speaker 2: What a day for proud felonists. What the actual f
- 8:51Speaker 2: * * *, America?
- 8:54Speaker 12: We have had two qualified, accomplished women nominated for president,
- 8:58Speaker 12: and both times they lost to the worst man in
- 9:01Speaker 12: the whole country. At this point, it's starting to feel
- 9:13Speaker 12: like we're going to get every other first before we
- 9:16Speaker 12: get a first woman president. First Amish president. First Wahlberg president. Hey,
- 9:22Speaker 12: there's no rule that says a dog can't be president.
- 9:25Speaker 12: As long as it's a boy dog. But instead of
- 9:29Speaker 12: breaking the glass ceiling, last night America decided to get
- 9:32Speaker 12: back with her dirtbag ex. And I had no idea
- 9:36Speaker 12: how much she missed him.
- 9:38Speaker 1: Overnight, a stunning victory for Donald Trump.
- 9:40Speaker 3: Blowing through the so-called blue wall of Midwest states.
- 9:43Speaker 13: In county after county across the country and proving on
- 9:46Speaker 13: his margin of victory in past races.
- 9:48Speaker 4: Suburban areas, rural areas, even big cities and bluer parts
- 9:52Speaker 4: of the map all tipped in his direction.
- 9:54Speaker 10: It is a sweeping and stunning victory unlike any in
- 9:57Speaker 10: our history. It will be studied and debated for generations.
- 10:02Speaker 3: Aww.
- 10:04Speaker 2: We're going to last generations?
- 10:06Speaker 12: That is the optimism I was looking for.
- 10:12Speaker 2: Thanks, George Slopidopoulos. That's your legal name now.
- 10:17Speaker 12: But that's right, Trump is on track to win every
- 10:19Speaker 12: single swing state and the popular vote. Just like the
- 10:23Speaker 12: relationship between Trump and Eric, this one wasn't close at all.
- 10:26Speaker 2: Oh my God. I have four more years of Eric jokes.
- 10:32Speaker 7: F * * * me.
- 10:44Speaker 12: But just think about what happened here. America voted this
- 10:47Speaker 12: guy out in 2020. And what has he done since then?
- 10:50Speaker 12: He tried to overthrow the government. He was convicted of
- 10:53Speaker 12: 34 felonies. He spent an entire campaign promising vengeance against
- 10:58Speaker 12: his enemies. And if you're wondering who, after all of that,
- 11:01Speaker 12: would want to back him up, well, buckle up.
- 11:04Speaker 2: It's a long list.
- 11:05Speaker 9: The former president winning with a coalition driven by white voters, men,
- 11:09Speaker 9: and first-time voters.
- 11:10Speaker 2: Young men in union households. Those older voters.
- 11:13Speaker 14: Voters age 45 to 64.
- 11:15Speaker 2: Those younger than the age of 30.
- 11:17Speaker 4: Black men, Latino men, suburban women, Arab Americans, and white men.
- 11:23Speaker 2: So, all of America.
- 11:25Speaker 8: All of America.
- 11:27Speaker 2: You just listed all of America.
- 11:30Speaker 12: Seems the only group she can't blame for Trump's victory
- 11:32Speaker 12: are black women and people in comas. Oh, and puppies.
- 11:38Speaker 12: Or puppies in comas. God damn it, I just made
- 11:40Speaker 12: myself more sad. So it's undeniable that Trump gained with
- 11:45Speaker 12: practically every demographic.
- 11:47Speaker 2: It's mind-boggling. But thankfully, cable news is.
- 11:50Speaker 12: On 24 hours a day, so pundits can incessantly play
- 11:53Speaker 12: the blame game.
- 11:55Speaker 2: How did this happen?
- 11:56Speaker 3: I think Democrats went way too far to the left.
- 12:00Speaker 2: Got it.
- 12:00Speaker 12: Okay, Kamala was too far left. Didn't embrace centrists.
- 12:05Speaker 4: It is perhaps the strategy so forcefully embracing Republicans like
- 12:10Speaker 4: the Liz Cheney's.
- 12:12Speaker 2: Okay, sorry.
- 12:13Speaker 12: I see she embraced centrists too much.
- 12:19Speaker 2: What else?
- 12:20Speaker 3: She wouldn't really stand and back the Israelis.
- 12:24Speaker 2: Uh-huh. She wasn't pro-Israel enough, all right?
- 12:28Speaker 9: The base of the party, it cares about Gaza, and they,
- 12:31Speaker 9: by not bringing a Palestinian on stage to the DNC,
- 12:33Speaker 9: these are not the value, the base values of the
- 12:36Speaker 9: Democratic Party.
- 12:37Speaker 12: Or pro-Palestinian enough.
- 12:40Speaker 2: Okay, was that it?
- 12:42Speaker 8: I think that Kamala Harris had this albatross around her neck,
- 12:46Speaker 8: and it was Joe Biden. She couldn't distance herself from
- 12:50Speaker 8: Biden and couldn't think of anything that she would have
- 12:52Speaker 8: done differently.
- 12:54Speaker 6: Right, right, right, right.
- 12:55Speaker 2: I see it now.
- 12:56Speaker 12: Kamala didn't distance herself enough from Joe Biden.
- 12:59Speaker 2: And let me guess.
- 13:00Speaker 13: It is probably not the best idea that Democrats orchestrated
- 13:04Speaker 13: a very public stab fest, a proverbial stabbing in the
- 13:07Speaker 13: front of the sitting president of the United States of
- 13:10Speaker 13: America and then didn't use him in his hometown of Scranton, Pennsylvania.
- 13:15Speaker 7: Okay.
- 13:15Speaker 14: Mm-hmm.
- 13:16Speaker 12: So she betrayed Joe Biden, but was also too close
- 13:19Speaker 12: to Joe Biden.
- 13:20Speaker 2: Uh-huh. This is all making sense. If I just put
- 13:23Speaker 2: all the pieces together.
- 13:24Speaker 5: Who the f * * * knows?
- 13:27Speaker 14: Who knows? Yes!
- 13:41Speaker 12: Look, as productive as this feels right now, I'm not
- 13:46Speaker 12: really interested in gaming out how exactly this happened. This
- 13:50Speaker 12: defeat was so resounding that you could literally say anything,
- 13:53Speaker 12: and it wouldn't be plausible.
- 13:55Speaker 2: She should have picked Mudeng for her VP. She should
- 13:58Speaker 2: have gone on the Hop to a Girl's podcast. Maybe
- 14:01Speaker 2: she visited Wisconsin too much. Sure, that makes sense. Why not? Honestly,
- 14:06Speaker 2: I don't really care why she lost. I care why
- 14:10Speaker 2: he won.
- 14:11Speaker 12: We have spent so much time diagnosing Donald Trump and
- 14:24Speaker 12: what his actions say about him.
- 14:26Speaker 2: He's a dictator. He's a fascist.
- 14:28Speaker 12: He's a malignant narcissist whose blood type is fryer oil.
- 14:34Speaker 2: But it's pretty clear.
- 14:35Speaker 12: That America is the one that needs the diagnosis because
- 14:39Speaker 12: whatever's wrong with him, we f * * *.
- 14:41Speaker 2: I love it.
- 14:43Speaker 12: In this moment, Donald Trump is holding up a mirror
- 14:46Speaker 12: to the American people, and it might be time to
- 14:48Speaker 12: take a good hard look.
- 14:52Speaker 7: It's a new day in America! Can you feel the delights?
- 14:58Speaker 7: All that sunshine and roses or whatever makes people happy?
- 15:02Speaker 13: No?
- 15:05Speaker 7: Okay, well, maybe you're not looking hot enough.
- 15:08Speaker 13: We're going to begin, though, with the start of the
- 15:10Speaker 13: something that makes this country so great when it happens.
- 15:13Speaker 10: We're talking about the promise of a peaceful transfer of power.
- 15:24Speaker 7: Whoa! Peaceful transfer of power.
- 15:29Speaker 3: Let's hear it for the bare minimum of a democracy.
- 15:34Speaker 7: The first step of this was Kamala Harris calling Donald
- 15:37Speaker 7: Trump to promise that she wouldn't do what he tried
- 15:39Speaker 7: to do.
- 15:40Speaker 12: The vice president called President-elect Trump to congratulate him.
- 15:44Speaker 4: According to a senior Harris aide, the vice president discussed
- 15:47Speaker 4: the importance of a peaceful transfer of power.
- 15:50Speaker 7: Yes, Kamala called Trump, considered the race, and told him
- 15:53Speaker 7: there should be a peaceful transfer of power. And you know,
- 15:56Speaker 7: as soon as Trump hung up the phone, he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
- 16:00Speaker 7: that's great, f * * * pussies.
- 16:02Speaker 3: So, I guess.
- 16:04Speaker 7: American democracy still works as long as the guy who
- 16:07Speaker 7: likes overthrowing the government wins the election because then he
- 16:12Speaker 7: won't overthrow the government. So, with the transfer happening, we're
- 16:17Speaker 7: going to be talking about Trump again every day for
- 16:19Speaker 7: another four years, I guess. And I, for one, did
- 16:24Speaker 7: not think that when I came out of the jungles
- 16:27Speaker 7: of Malaysia to do comedy that.
- 16:30Speaker 3: I would be making jokes about Donald Trump every.
- 16:33Speaker 7: Day for 13 years straight.
- 16:38Speaker 3: 13 years. I don't talk about anybody as much.
- 16:40Speaker 7: I don't talk about my mom as much as I
- 16:42Speaker 7: talk about this guy. I don't talk about my wife
- 16:44Speaker 7: as much as I talk about this guy. My wife
- 16:46Speaker 7: thinks I'm having an emotional affair with him. I'm going
- 16:49Speaker 7: to be talking about this guy on my f *
- 16:50Speaker 7: * * ing.
- 16:51Speaker 3: Deathbed, okay?
- 16:51Speaker 7: Which I assume will be in three years when he
- 16:54Speaker 7: somehow brings back the bubonic plague.
- 16:56Speaker 3: And you might be sitting at home saying, well, Ronnie.
- 17:00Speaker 7: Why don't you just shut the f * * *
- 17:01Speaker 7: up about Trump?
- 17:03Speaker 3: Well, for the same reason CNN doesn't shut the f
- 17:05Speaker 3: * * * up about him. Money! Lots and lots
- 17:09Speaker 3: of money!
- 17:10Speaker 7: So let's get these dollars right now and get back
- 17:12Speaker 7: to Donald Trump.
- 17:13Speaker 3: And you know what?
- 17:14Speaker 7: Attitude is everything. I'm going to be optimistic. If Donald
- 17:18Speaker 7: Trump can get some good people around him this time,
- 17:21Speaker 7: maybe he'll do good for the country. I mean, who
- 17:24Speaker 7: is he getting to help him with the transition?
- 17:26Speaker 9: I'm going to be heavily involved on the transition process.
- 17:32Speaker 3: Great.
- 17:35Speaker 7: It's take your dumb ass to work day. And what
- 17:39Speaker 7: qualifications would Don Jr.
- 17:42Speaker 3: Be looking for?
- 17:44Speaker 9: I want to make sure now that we know who
- 17:46Speaker 9: the real players are, the people who will actually deliver
- 17:49Speaker 9: on the president's message, the people who don't think that
- 17:52Speaker 9: they know better than the duly elected president of the
- 17:55Speaker 9: United States.
- 17:57Speaker 7: Yeah, no more smart people. Only people who look at
- 18:02Speaker 7: my idiot dad and go, what a genius. And where
- 18:07Speaker 7: is Trump going to find people who will do whatever
- 18:09Speaker 7: he says? I mean, didn't they all die when they
- 18:11Speaker 7: injected themselves with bleach? So let's see who these people are.
- 18:16Speaker 14: 75 days from now, Trump returns to the White House,
- 18:18Speaker 14: and right now there is an intense focus on who
- 18:21Speaker 14: he will surround himself with. Florida Senator Marco Rubio, possibly
- 18:25Speaker 14: former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, maybe Secretary of Defense,
- 18:29Speaker 14: former Acting Homeland Security Secretary Chad Wolf, perhaps reappointed.
- 18:34Speaker 3: Okay, okay. You know what?
- 18:36Speaker 7: Actually, not as bad as I expected. Marco Rubio, Mike Pompeo,
- 18:40Speaker 7: they're basically professional political administrators, right?
- 18:44Speaker 3: At least they're wearing suits and ties. It could be worse.
- 18:49Speaker 14: And then there's some, shall we say, more unusual names.
- 18:53Speaker 14: Steve Bannon, conspiracy nut Laura Loomer, Robert F.
- 18:57Speaker 2: Kennedy Jr.
- 18:58Speaker 3: and Elon Musk. Okay, yeah, it's worse.
- 19:00Speaker 7: Uh, This cabinet looks like the division of the X-Men
- 19:05Speaker 7: for the mutants who had too much mutation. They're like, hey,
- 19:09Speaker 7: what's your mutant power?
- 19:11Speaker 11: I just talk like this.
- 19:15Speaker 7: People trust me with their health.
- 19:17Speaker 8: Ugh.
- 19:19Speaker 7: Ugh. Okay, so this is the A-team, and other names
- 19:24Speaker 7: floated for his cabinet include Hannibal Lecter, the Menendez brothers,
- 19:29Speaker 7: the polio virus, and for Secretary of Transportation, a cyber
- 19:34Speaker 7: truck with a Hitler mustache.
- 19:37Speaker 3: Now, Don Jr. isn't the only one thinking about the transition.
- 19:40Speaker 7: So is the guy who has spent the last two
- 19:42Speaker 7: years trying to transition Trump into a prison cell.
- 19:46Speaker 1: Tonight, special counsel Jack Smith is now signaling he'll wind
- 19:49Speaker 1: down his two federal cases against President-elect Trump.
- 19:53Speaker 12: The January 6th criminal case and the classified documents case
- 19:56Speaker 12: are effectively over.
- 19:58Speaker 2: DOJ guidelines are clear.
- 19:59Speaker 6: You cannot prosecute a sitting president.
- 20:02Speaker 7: Great.
- 20:03Speaker 3: Trump gets off with no punishment.
- 20:05Speaker 7: It's just as the famous quote says, the arc of
- 20:09Speaker 7: the moral universe is long, but it bends towards, sorry, we're.
- 20:13Speaker 3: Out of time.
- 20:14Speaker 7: He's president now. Apparently, you can just get away with
- 20:17Speaker 7: your crimes if you win the presidency. And that sound
- 20:20Speaker 7: you just heard is Diddy forming an exploratory committee for 2028.
- 20:25Speaker 7: I mean, he doesn't even need any policies. He just
- 20:29Speaker 7: hands out behind other people's policies going, uh-huh, yeah, yeah.
- 20:35Speaker 7: So not only does he get off on January 6th,
- 20:37Speaker 7: Trump also gets off on stolen documents. In fact, not
- 20:41Speaker 7: only are they not going to prosecute him, they have
- 20:43Speaker 7: to put the documents back where they found them, scattered
- 20:45Speaker 7: around his toilet in Mahalaga.
- 20:48Speaker 3: Trump gets to be president.
- 20:49Speaker 7: He doesn't have to go to prison, which means he
- 20:51Speaker 7: doesn't have to sneak in a tanning bed up his rectum.
- 20:54Speaker 7: And probably the best part for him is having the
- 20:57Speaker 7: guy who kicked him out of the White House welcome
- 20:59Speaker 7: him back.
- 21:00Speaker 11: Yesterday, I spoke with President-elect Trump to congratulate him on
- 21:04Speaker 11: his victory. And I assured him that I'd direct my
- 21:08Speaker 11: entire administration to work with his team to ensure a
- 21:12Speaker 11: peaceful and orderly transition.
- 21:15Speaker 3: Oh, my God, we get it, okay?
- 21:17Speaker 7: You f * * * ing people love transferring power peacefully.
- 21:21Speaker 3: It's on and on about it.
- 21:23Speaker 7: Hey, maybe if Democrats tried an insurrection once in a while,
- 21:26Speaker 7: they could actually start winning something.
- 21:28Speaker 3: Because, hey, apparently.
- 21:34Speaker 7: There's no punishment for it anyway. It's just a free shot.
- 21:37Speaker 7: I mean, if it works, you stay in office. And
- 21:40Speaker 7: if it doesn't, no harm, no foul. But, of course,
- 21:43Speaker 7: Joe Biden couldn't call it quits without reminding people that
- 21:46Speaker 7: his administration was about more than just you paying $ 50
- 21:48Speaker 7: for eggs.
- 21:50Speaker 11: Much of the work we've done is already being felt
- 21:53Speaker 11: by the American people. The vast majority of it will
- 21:55Speaker 11: not be felt over the next 10 years. We have
- 21:59Speaker 11: legislation we passed. It's just only now just really kicking in.
- 22:06Speaker 10: Cool.
- 22:08Speaker 7: All his good decisions are kicking in just in time
- 22:10Speaker 7: for Donald Trump to take credit for them. Perfect execution
- 22:13Speaker 7: as usual, Democrats.