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Random Heathen Ramblings: S6, EP23 - The Ghosts Of Christian Conversion · Random Heathen Ramblings

0:01
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Random Heathen Ramblings
0:03
podcast where we discuss all sorts of things dramatic
0:07
Heathenry related. My name is Jesse and I'm your
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Visit our online store at the Olivet here.com and discover the
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beauty of Mountain Spirit. All right, everybody, how you
1:10
doing? Welcome back to this week's
1:13
episode of the podcast. Thank you for being here.
1:15
Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for listening or
1:17
watching wherever it is that you're catching this from.
1:20
Greatly appreciate that. I got a bit of a, kind of like a
1:26
episode lined up today that is going to be more along the lines
1:29
of touching on something that I've, I've talked about before.
1:35
I think I've even answered people's questions and stuff
1:38
before, but I got to thinking and, and, you know, gathering
1:43
thoughts and ideas the way I do for, for episodes.
1:46
And I think I thought to myself, I don't think I have necessarily
1:50
one episode dedicated as many episodes as we have in the
1:54
catalog of, of the podcast and on my channel over the years.
1:57
You know, I don't think there's really just one episode truly
2:01
kind of dedicated to this to to to to the experiences of one key
2:08
than having come from the background of Christianity.
2:12
So I wanted to kind of talk about some of my, my ghosts of,
2:18
of Christian conversion or, or, or some of the things that you
2:23
know, whether they're habits or beliefs, moral codes, you know,
2:31
etcetera. Things that when I first came
2:35
into Heathenry, right when I first discovered this path as,
2:38
as a spirituality, as a, as a way of connecting with the
2:42
divine and all this. What are some of the things that
2:45
I maybe had struggled with either holding on to carrying
2:50
over anything that might be similar that I've retained or
2:53
whatever. And I really, I wanted to do
2:55
that. I thought it would be a, a, a
2:57
cool thing to do this week, just to have a one episode kind of
3:02
dedicated to if I give or get a question from people about it, I
3:07
can, I can get my answer or answers, but then I can also
3:11
say, and then you can also listen to this episode, right?
3:14
Or you can maybe maybe you have people that you're talking to or
3:17
listening to and, you know, we can talk about, or, you know,
3:22
you can refer them to the, to the podcast to, to learn a
3:25
little bit about. So that's what this show's going
3:27
to be about this week. And I hope you're into that.
3:29
Hope you're interested in hearing just a little bit about
3:32
kind of the things that I experienced coming into Heathen
3:35
Reek as a, as, as, as somebody who was raised in Christianity
3:39
and the type of Christianity, you know, 'cause I'm sure that
3:43
everybody who has been something before they were heathen,
3:47
whether it's, you know, some of the sort of Pagan or in a lot of
3:51
cases, at least in the United States, they were Christian.
3:56
I'm sure there's going to be variants and, and differences
4:00
that we, we notice because every denomination of Christianity is
4:04
not the same, just like a lot of the regional differences of, of
4:08
Heathenry aren't exactly the same.
4:13
So before we get into that, just as a quick reminder, 2 things,
4:16
you know, all of my contact information, my website, my
4:21
social media, the the, the merchandise store, all of that
4:24
is LinkedIn. The in the show notes below or
4:27
down in the description. If you're watching this on
4:29
Patreon, that Linktree link will give you everything that you
4:33
need to, to learn more about me and find me on social media or
4:37
get in contact with me or pick up some merchandise with the
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podcast, you know, logo or the Midgard musings branded stuff.
4:47
Those are all the ways that you can help support.
4:51
And then in that link tree link as a secondary thing and, and,
4:55
and probably more important than anything right now, when you
4:58
click on that link, tree link, you'll see a GoFundMe
5:01
crowdfunding campaign at the very top of that page.
5:04
And it's for my mother-in-law and it's for us to help raise
5:09
money to help cover the cost of various things that the family
5:13
has needed to buy for my mother-in-law in her advancement
5:17
of age, you know, things to help with her ability to get around
5:21
be be safe. So we've gotten, you know, the
5:25
sit to stand chair. There's been a big ramp
5:27
installed, wheelchair accessible, you know, like a
5:30
wheelchair ramp. So that way she can get in and
5:32
out easier with a Walker and rather than having to navigate
5:36
steps. We're also still needing to get
5:40
a, a, a walk in shower, you know, which is going to be quite
5:46
a big chunk of, of, of money. And so basically, if you're able
5:50
to help in any sort of way, even if it's by just sharing the
5:53
GoFundMe link, the family could use the help.
5:56
Any little bit helps. But with everybody that listens
5:59
to this show or or catches this and all the people who I have on
6:02
my socials, I'm hoping that this reaches a lot of ears and we can
6:07
get some help. So check it out.
6:09
It's in the link tree link that's posted in the show notes.
6:13
And yeah, any help that you can offer is appreciated.
6:17
So let's get into the topic for today or for this week.
6:21
Oh, really quick. I do want to mention though,
6:23
before we get into the topic of this week, next week's episodes
6:27
of that episode that airs on July 10th of 2025.
6:33
I realize if you catch this later on and you're listening to
6:36
this later on, then you know that episode will have already
6:39
been published. But at the time of of filming
6:42
this episode, the the episode that airs on July 10th, 2025,
6:47
I've already made an announcement about this on my
6:51
social media platforms. I'm very excited for it and I
6:54
hope you are too. It is going to be an interview
6:57
that I do with Anatoly and Natasha from the Siberian Nordic
7:03
folk band Nitland. Been a fan of those individuals
7:10
and and what they do musically and and how they're.
7:13
You know, preserving their culture and and the the shamanic
7:17
approach to things of their culture is, is rich and and is
7:21
so manifest in in in in their song and in their music.
7:25
And so I'm very excited to have them on the show to talk about
7:28
things with, with regards. To them, but that episode is
7:30
going to be coming out on Thursday, July 10th.
7:34
So one thing to bear in mind is that if you are just listening
7:36
to this show and you've never thought about supporting the
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podcast by becoming a Carl tier patron on Patreon, which is only
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a $1.00 pledge by the way. If you haven't thought about it
7:47
before, now is your chance to think about it, because the
7:50
video version of this show will be on Patreon only, right?
7:55
It's it's it's it's it. I might be doing a a premiere
7:59
for it on YouTube where everybody can see it, but it's
8:02
not going to stay up there for long.
8:04
It's it's it. We might do like a a 24 hour
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watch period or or something. But if you want to have access
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to it hereafter, then then I would suggest that you think
8:15
about just donating that $1.00 towards the podcast.
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Again, it's just the $1.00 a month pledge and you get you
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access to the to the video versions of all the shows, this
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one included. So I know I'm super thrilled
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about it and I hope you all are too.
8:30
So that's another just reminder of things.
8:34
So anyway, now that we've got all of the housekeeping stuff
8:37
out the way, a little bit of a background of myself and, and
8:42
what brought me into Heathenry and then some of the, the ghosts
8:46
that I've had to wrestle with and, and whatnot over the years
8:50
of the conversion. You know, I mean, I say
8:54
conversion, but you know, the transition probably is, is is
8:57
better transition from Christianity into Heathenry.
9:03
So, as some of you may know, or if you've, you know, been
9:06
following anything that I've done for any length of time, you
9:08
know that I've that I come from a background of non
9:11
denominational Christianity. So non denominational meaning
9:14
there was, you know, we didn't call ourselves Baptists,
9:17
Protestant, Methodists, you know, Presbyterians,
9:22
Pentecostal, none of the denominations of, of
9:27
Christianity were, were anything that, that the, the group that I
9:31
was raised in and how I was raised as a, as a child and into
9:35
my young adult years went to my youth.
9:38
None of those things were the what we identified as or, or
9:41
classified as we were just followers of Christ.
9:43
You know what I mean? So much to the point that we
9:49
didn't call ourselves Christians because it was believed that,
9:55
well, that's a softened name for Christ.
9:57
Well, if you're going to be a follower of Christ, then you
10:01
should be a Christian, you know. So there was, there was this
10:05
change of, of English and, and the, and the words of, of the
10:10
English language and how it's how it's been spoken for.
10:14
Forever. This, this group of people
10:18
deduced that it should be something different than that.
10:23
I'm not arguing, you know, I mean necessarily the, the, the
10:26
sense, I guess, behind what they were trying to say is, you know,
10:29
say it like you mean it, you know, mean mean what you say.
10:31
And then if you're going to follow him then then his.
10:34
The name should be that Christian, not Christian,
10:40
Anywho. Again, it was non
10:42
denominational. I was raised in that from as
10:45
long as I could remember in as in my early, you know, toddler
10:49
years. I don't, I don't remember much.
10:51
I think I remember one year as a child where I wasn't, yeah, like
10:56
I wasn't going to church, you know, where there wasn't
10:59
anything like that that I was being raised in.
11:02
I always have a very early, early memory of, of believing in
11:07
God or whatever. Like there was no period of my
11:10
youth or my childhood that I could say that I was brought up
11:14
in a atheistic or an agnostic household.
11:17
That's definitely not the case. They would you know, my parents
11:20
were both believers in God and and and so when I was probably I
11:30
don't know exactly that was really really.
11:32
Small, you know, like. My sister may not have even been
11:36
born yet. So I could have been, you know,
11:39
three, maybe going on four years old, really little and, or maybe
11:44
even younger. And anyway, my parents, we were
11:48
still living on our house or at our house on Long Island in New
11:53
York. And my uncle had been visiting
11:57
with my, with my parents for the weekend or, or for some short
12:02
period of time because he was, he was living on the other side
12:06
of, of off the island up in the Hudson, lower Hudson Valley
12:09
area. People that aren't from New York
12:12
would say that it's upstate, but it's, it's not upstate upstate.
12:14
It would be further like into Syracuse and further up that
12:17
way. And we weren't nearly that far
12:18
up. We were maybe 2 1/2 hours, you
12:20
know, 150 some miles or, or whatever outside of the city in
12:26
the, in the lower foothills of the Catskill mountain range.
12:29
So, you know, the Hudson Valley area and that's where my uncle
12:32
was living at the time. And that's ultimately when my
12:34
parents moved us to that area off of the island later on in
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our youth. I was about 13 years old when we
12:42
when we moved off the island. But when I was that little, my
12:44
uncle was down visiting one time.
12:46
And you know, there was something on television that
12:50
they were my mom and him were watching.
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And it had something to do with a crime of like a kidnapping or
12:57
an abduction. Or, or something like that that
13:01
involved, you know, a child. And my uncle was asking my mom,
13:09
you know, oh man, that's, you know, and they were both,
13:11
there's this terrible, this terrible news, you know, to to
13:14
be made aware of. And he's like, you know, what do
13:17
you what happens if anything like that were to happen to you?
13:21
You know what happens if Jesse gets snatched up, And then you
13:23
know, what are you going to do? And my mom's like, well, I'm not
13:27
going to let that happen. You know, I'm going to, I'm
13:29
always going to make sure that I have my eye on him.
13:30
I'm not going to leave. I'm not going to turn my back
13:32
when we're in public. And every time that my mom would
13:37
give an answer to him about what if this happens, right?
13:41
He would have another answer to, to, to, to counter her response.
13:46
So, you know, she would say something along the lines like,
13:48
well, I'm not going to turn my back on him ever.
13:51
And he'd be be like, OK, well, what happens if, you know, you a
13:54
friend of yours comes up and gets your attention for just two
13:57
or three seconds and you turn your, your turn your head to
14:00
acknowledge your friend that's coming.
14:01
And you, and you get your eyes off of, of your son, you know,
14:04
and it's just a few seconds and then he's, he's snatched up
14:08
right out from under you. And she's like, well, I'm, I'm
14:11
just, I'm, I'm definitely not going to do that.
14:14
It's, you know, and so every time that he would say this, my
14:17
mom would get more and more frustrated with him because it
14:20
was like, I'm giving you an answer about why I'm not going
14:22
to let my son get abducted or kidnapped.
14:24
And you're not, you know, assuring me that my decisions
14:29
on, on how to prevent such a thing from happening.
14:33
You know, you're not giving me assurance that that by answers
14:35
are good enough. And you're coming up with all
14:37
these other answers as well. What if this, Well, what if
14:38
that, what if, what if, what if at to which point or at which
14:42
point my mom was like threw her hands up and just basically
14:45
like, well, I guess there's nothing that I can do, is there
14:47
'cause she was like everything that she could think of
14:50
logically to prevent such a thing from happening.
14:53
He was coming back with an answer as to, well, this could
14:56
happen. Possibly, you know, you, you
14:57
might not be there, you might not be here.
14:59
You're this, that or the other. And so sure, final thing was, I
15:02
guess there's nothing that I can do, is there?
15:04
And, and his responses. Well, there is something you can
15:06
do and you can put your faith in God and you can live the right
15:09
way and this and that. So at that point, you know, my
15:11
mom had been raised Catholic in, in Catholic school.
15:15
So did my dad. But but my mom's Catholicism, I
15:19
mean, it was Roman Catholic, very, very devout.
15:23
Her father was full blood Italian and that's what he
15:27
wanted them to be raised. As as as was was.
15:30
Catholic. So she went to Catholic school
15:32
and went to mass and the whole 9.
15:34
So, you know, she, she wasn't, I wouldn't say again, she wasn't
15:40
anti God or anything like that anti Christian.
15:42
It was just as she didn't have a set belief.
15:44
We weren't going to church at that point in our lives.
15:46
We weren't going to Mass, You know, I didn't have any
15:50
recollection or knowledge of anything like that happening
15:53
really. So at that point when my uncle
15:55
said what he said, he was kind of the, the, the catalyst behind
15:59
getting my mom and my dad interested into what he was into
16:02
at the time, the church that he had gotten involved with, which
16:06
was upstate. I say upstate, but in the,
16:08
again, off of the island in the lower Hudson Valley area, Orange
16:11
County, New York. So this is back in the 80s and
16:18
we started, you know, my mom and, and dad started visiting
16:23
mostly on weekends when, when dad wasn't working and mom
16:26
wasn't working because they were both working at the time and
16:29
raising us and, or well, me and then my sister came later on.
16:32
But you know, so at that, that stage of the game, you know, we
16:35
were coming up on the weekends somewhat frequently to, to visit
16:42
with my uncle and meet the people and go to church on
16:44
Sundays up there. And the church that my uncle had
16:49
been involved with was established in the 60s by this
16:54
by this gentleman. And it was his, he had since
16:59
passed, or I should say he had passed, I think it was in the in
17:03
the early 90s. So, you know, I was when we
17:06
started going around when or when we started coming around
17:09
like more, I would say legitimately like we were making
17:13
more of a regular appearance. This gentleman, the, the, the
17:15
founder of this place had had since passed and it and, and
17:19
the, the caretaking of the church had been passed on to
17:24
another senior leader or, or elder of the, of the, of that
17:28
community writing their own, you know, sermons, but using a lot
17:32
of the doctrine, a lot of the background, a lot of the, the
17:34
messages that, that this, the founder had originated and his
17:37
name was Wallace. So I'll just say, you know,
17:39
Wally Wallace had and he had, you know, he had decade's worth
17:44
of, of sermons that he had written.
17:45
So a lot of the, the, the, the belief of the, of the, of the
17:49
church that I was raised in was founded upon the doctrine of a
17:54
man that was taking what was in the King James Version of the
18:00
Bible, preaching from that and leading his flock.
18:06
And they believed that no other version of the Bible, no other
18:09
translation of the Bible was accurate or true, was that that
18:13
one version was the only right version.
18:18
Some of the things that we did not do in that group was, you
18:20
know, we did not, we did never, we never worked on Sundays.
18:24
We quote UN quote, kept the Sabbath day holy and Sabbath day
18:27
for some reason for the Christians is, is is a Sunday
18:32
instead of instead of the I think that the I think in
18:36
Judaism, the Sabbath starts on on on the nights, right?
18:40
So it's from night to night is a day.
18:43
The evening in the morning are the first days.
18:46
So you know, is is a day. So you know if your evening
18:49
starts. Sabbath starts on, on for the
18:52
Jews, I believe it's on a Saturday night at sundown and
18:54
then it ends on sunset that following day.
18:58
So anyway, we would never work on those Sabbath days, you know,
19:03
unless it was to work for the aid of somebody else.
19:06
So we would never earn wages, you know, on a, on a, on a
19:10
Sunday. We worked 6 days of the week and
19:13
then rested on that 7th day, the Sunday.
19:15
Go to church and have family time and social time and and
19:19
rest. We never took vacations.
19:21
I shouldn't say never, but I like the older we got like we
19:24
never did. You know very many family
19:27
vacations. I went to Disney World a couple
19:29
times with very young beach trips here or there.
19:34
But you know, we never, especially as I got older and as
19:39
as more was required of me as a young as a young boy growing
19:42
into into my youth and becoming a man, you know, a lot of the
19:45
things that were fun and special for the kids to do, I was not.
19:49
A part of anymore so I'd be I was trained and growing growing
19:52
up into becoming a a a a provider.
19:55
You know somebody who did the things as a as a biblical man
19:59
should do. I guess this was probably the
20:01
way the. Best way I could put it.
20:03
And so, you know, no working on Sundays, we would tie 10% of our
20:09
of our income to the church. You know, 10% of our wages would
20:15
go to the church. We didn't eat pork and a lot of
20:21
other things, you know, a lot of other, I guess, you know,
20:23
scriptural or biblical laws and things that, that were, that we,
20:29
you know, that that group believed were applicable to US.
20:34
Men didn't have long hair. None of the men had long hair.
20:37
Most of them, I don't even recall having even beards or
20:40
anything that they would, they would, they would not.
20:43
And I believe, funny enough, I believe that that was the reason
20:46
for that, for the men not to have long hair and, and beards
20:50
mainly. Was that the, there, there's
20:53
some sort of, I believe there was a, a law, an Old Testament
20:59
law for the, for the Israelites to, to never round the corners
21:04
of their heads or mar the corners of their beards or
21:07
something like that. And I guess they translated or,
21:09
or interpreted that to mean that, you know, don't, don't let
21:13
your hair grow and don't, you know, don't let it, don't let
21:17
your beard grow out. So, so keep your face clean
21:20
shaven and, and grow your hair out.
21:22
Now, again, you think about the, the, the reality of that and
21:27
probably what that meant from a biblical or from a, from a
21:30
scriptural point of view, from where the Israelites were there,
21:34
there was how their hygiene was and, and, and, and what the
21:38
image of the man was supposed to be.
21:40
I mean, men had beards, men's hair was long.
21:45
Like you're not a bad person and a bad person of belief or faith
21:51
of God to, to, to let your hair grow and have a beard.
21:55
So anyway, those are some of the crazy, some one of the crazy
21:57
things that I was raised to believe in.
22:02
And then that's just the on the minor end of things.
22:05
You know, there were there were other very radical points of
22:10
views that I didn't realize until much later on in my years
22:15
that I was like, this is not Christianity, this is not of
22:18
God. This is cult like, this is a
22:20
cult mentality. Because I saw what, what things
22:24
were happening to, to people, how their egos are being, you
22:29
know, that they were leading with their egos instead of
22:31
leading with spirit, you know, or letting their letting,
22:33
letting spirit guide them and letting the faith in their, in
22:38
their divine being, you know, kind of run the show.
22:42
They, they, they, they let it get to them.
22:44
And it was in, it was made manifest multiple times
22:48
throughout my youth. I didn't see it because I was,
22:51
you know, I was to, to, to challenge such a thing was, was
22:54
considered bad news. You know, you don't, you don't
22:57
challenge the men of God of the church.
22:59
You know, you don't challenge these people put in these
23:02
positions or you know, at least you know, once you if you knew
23:08
that they were ordained and they were, they were set in place by
23:11
God or whatever. Like you don't, you don't
23:14
challenge that so. Fast forward all through the
23:21
years, right? All of the all of the wild.
23:23
And crazy things that I experienced in my youth and was
23:26
raised to believe. I moved down to Tennessee when I
23:29
was around 21 or 22 years old. So this is about 20 years ago
23:38
going on 2020 years ago, roughly 20 years ago now because I moved
23:42
into, I moved to Tennessee. Like I started coming down here
23:46
the, the, the summer of O5 and then I officially moved
23:51
permanently in O6. So, you know, 1920 years anyway,
24:00
when I first moved down here, you know, I was, I did not leave
24:02
New York and then start into, into Heathenry.
24:05
I was trying to find my own path down here and then going to
24:10
churches that I'd never been to before in my life because I
24:13
thought that, well, I needed to keep up with my, you know,
24:17
Christian upbringing. You know, so I'd go to, I've,
24:21
I've gone, I've gone to, you know, Pentecostal services and
24:24
I've been to Catholic masses and I've been to Baptist services
24:28
and Methodist services and, you know, and, and I tried it all or
24:37
tried all those and stayed, you know, kind of involved in, in
24:41
one or more of them over certain periods of time.
24:43
But I never never took, you know, once I had come down here
24:46
and was like, this just isn't just doesn't feel.
24:49
Right. And I didn't know of anything.
24:51
Else, you know, so for years I was, you know, trying and things
24:57
out and then not feeling like it was really speaking to me and
25:00
then I, I finally just. Said the heck.
25:02
With it, I'm not going to believe in anything because what
25:04
is there you mean to believe in if it's not, you know,
25:07
Christianity, I was like, I'm not going to go, I'm not going
25:09
to go do the other side because at that time I didn't realize,
25:11
you know, like if you're not Christian and you must be, you
25:14
know, Satanist and I'm like, I'm not going to.
25:16
Go become a devil worshipper. But again, I know now that
25:21
that's not what Satanism is about, at least not certain
25:23
forms of it. So but I, you know, I was like,
25:26
I didn't know anything about that.
25:27
Didn't want to know anything about that.
25:29
So I just said. Nothing.
25:30
I'm just not going to pursue really anything as as a
25:34
religion. I might learn about some things
25:36
and then study and just become knowledgeable about some things,
25:39
but I'm not going to. What else is there?
25:42
You know what else could there possibly be?
25:46
And what's funny enough is that before all that happened, before
25:51
I was starting to have a, a crisis of faith in my life, I
25:56
had gotten a, a tattoo on my forearm, which you can kind of
25:59
see here. It's it's the mule near that's
26:02
on my forearm. You know, I've gotten that soon
26:06
after I moved to Tennessee, you know, so almost 20 years ago.
26:11
And I was still, at that point, I would say I was still
26:15
Christian, you know, I was a, a believe in God and, and I was
26:18
doing these, you know, getting these, these tattoos.
26:20
And I saw that. And the reason I got the tattoo,
26:22
the reason I got Muehlner wasn't because I believed in Thor or,
26:28
you know, the Norse gods or anything like that.
26:31
I got it because of MyHeritage of, of the German and Dutch
26:36
ancestry that I knew, I came from and I, I knew enough about
26:42
the hammer and, and, and that it was a symbol of Germanic
26:48
heritage, you know, like the Germanic peoples, the Norse and
26:51
Scandinavian people of, of pre Christian times and even
26:54
thereafter, it was a symbol of their, of their faith, of their
26:58
belief. And I thought, well, I liked
26:59
what the idea of the hammer represented.
27:01
You know, Thor's strong and he's powerful and I like, you know,
27:05
the idea of, you know, strength and, and being, you know, duty
27:09
bound and, and powerful and all that.
27:11
Like I like those morals or those concepts, right.
27:16
So that's why I got it, not having any idea about it's the
27:21
meaning behind it. So all the years ago by that I'm
27:26
not finding my home in Christianity and I land in a
27:29
place where I'm like, I don't want to believe or I don't know
27:30
what else to believe in. So I guess I'm not going to
27:32
believe in anything as far as a religion go.
27:37
Right around that time is when, you know, I guess it was 2011,
27:41
2012, sometime around there. And then, you know, you start
27:43
seeing The History Channel puts out Vikings and I'm like, huh,
27:49
what's this about? You know, and I've like, well,
27:50
I've heard about the Vikings and I thought, you know, Vikings are
27:52
the, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a Viking descent because
27:56
I've, I've got German blood and I, you know, I went to a Ren
27:58
fair once and somebody told me that, Oh, you know, if you're,
28:01
if you're any part. Germanic anything.
28:04
Then you've got Viking in you. Right, ridiculous notion to, to
28:09
say to somebody, but I believed it.
28:12
I thought, well, I must be, you know, this must be part of who I
28:15
am. So what are they talking about?
28:17
And I saw, oh, wow, you know, they're, they're talking about
28:18
gods and, and, and I see the hammer and, and the imagery and
28:23
all of it. And I go, wow, this is, there's
28:25
something to believe in here. Like there's, this is the faith
28:28
of a people, you know, and I, it spoke to me.
28:30
That's it. It definitely resonated with me
28:33
and I didn't know why at the time.
28:36
I just know that it did. And I go, huh, I'm going to
28:39
pursue that, you know. So then I start just, you know,
28:41
going online and I go, oh, wow, there's something called AUSA.
28:44
True. OK, I didn't know that
28:48
Heathenry. Was the the name of it per SE?
28:50
I heard the term heathen being used, but I didn't realize that
28:53
it was. It was a specific category of
28:57
Pagan I guess if you want to want to call it that, you know
28:59
the Germanic Pagan equivalent. Is is is heathen?
29:04
So didn't really know much about that.
29:06
I just know that the name, also true, had had something to do
29:09
with people that believed in the gods of of Northern Europe.
29:15
So I go, hmm, well, and then I saw why I got this hammer on me,
29:19
you know, and then I'm like, wow, that that's, that's
29:21
interesting. You know that all these years
29:23
before I believed in any of this and now I'm finding interesting
29:25
and it's calling to me and it's, you know.
29:28
So let me answer that. Let me let me tap into that and
29:31
let me see what I what I can find and.
29:34
You know, at the time I was, you know, nothing that I was getting
29:40
into was, was based upon historical accuracy or, or, or
29:45
the background of things from a historical point of view.
29:47
I was just like, oh cool, you know, we can, you know, we've
29:49
got 8 holidays of the year. You know, that popular Wicca,
29:54
true, you know, Wicca with a, with a Norse aesthetic or with a
29:59
Norse veneer over it. So, you know, I get into, you
30:03
know, thinking about Yule around to the winter solstice and I
30:06
think about Midsummer and I think about Ostara and I think
30:09
about, you know, all the other various things, you know, Sowin
30:13
even, you know, like I'm thinking of Sowin as it's like a
30:16
Norse thing. And you know, of course it's,
30:18
it's historically not Germanic. But when I, when I finally, when
30:25
I, when it finally kind of occurred to me that this is the
30:28
path that I wanted to pursue, I started taking it more
30:30
seriously. I wanted to learn as much as I
30:33
could about the history of the heritage of it all, history of
30:38
it all, and see where I fit into that.
30:41
You know, am I, am I just liking something because it looks cool
30:45
or it's aesthetically pleasing? Or is this feeling of being
30:50
called that I was describing earlier?
30:53
Is that feeling something that's coming from an actual source or
30:58
am I just imagining it? Am I just conjuring something up
31:02
because it makes me feel good? And am I going to get bored with
31:05
this? Am I going to have a crisis of
31:07
faith again? Like what?
31:08
So I took the time to figure these things out.
31:10
And as I'm figuring these things out, I'm still retaining the
31:15
beliefs of certain Christian mindsets of things.
31:18
You know, I'm still, I'm still. Holding on to those, you know,
31:23
Christian worldviews. So, you know, I'm thinking that
31:25
you'll is the same thing as Christmas and that, you know,
31:28
the gift giving and Santa's Odin and.
31:31
You know, the mistletoe and Loki and all of that.
31:33
I'm, I'm drawing equivalencies to, to, to things that even I
31:38
didn't believe in as, as a, as, as somebody who I was raised,
31:42
who's raised in, in the ways that I was raised.
31:44
Like we didn't celebrate Christmas, We didn't celebrate
31:46
Easter. We had our own feasts of, of
31:49
each, you know, celebration that we would have every, you know,
31:52
three times of the year. Interestingly enough, they were
31:55
three times of the year. They weren't, you know, eight
31:59
different holidays. But you know, so we, you know,
32:05
I'm, I'm still holding on to some of those things.
32:07
You know, I'm still holding on to when I, when I think of the
32:10
gods, I'm thinking of them in the same way as, you know, the
32:13
Christian God that I should be praying to them for strength or
32:17
for wisdom. Or for protection or for, you
32:20
know, this or that, or I should be doing things that please the
32:24
gods or that don't, you know, don't do things that displease
32:26
them or this or that, you know, So one of the biggest.
32:29
Ghosts that I had to confront or, or you know, the, the, the,
32:34
the baggage or whatever that I carried over into Heathenry is
32:39
realizing that the gods, the divine are holy powers of in
32:44
heathenry. They are not the same as what
32:49
the Christians believe is is their God.
32:52
You know, so the gods of our pantheons, the, the, the gods of
32:55
our folk, you know, they are not omnipotent, they are not
33:00
omniscient and they are not omnipresent.
33:05
They're not all powerful. They're not.
33:06
They're not in all places at all times, and they're not all
33:10
knowing. And I had to, I had to really
33:14
study the lore. I had to study the, the sagas,
33:17
the, the, the, the Etas. I had to, I had to study, I had
33:20
to get into this belief to understand that the stories are,
33:26
are rich with moments when the gods are fallible.
33:33
They are doing things, they are talking about doing things that
33:37
are not inherently good, you know, and then to therefore not
33:44
draw the equivalence between them and this all powerful, all
33:48
knowing and, and all present Christian God.
33:52
You know, that was one of the biggest things that I had to
33:58
unlearn. I had to kind of deprogram from
34:01
a bit, as it were. I had to do a lot of research
34:05
and studying and, and, and rewiring, you know, 'cause as
34:08
much as you study and learn something, if it's not, if it
34:10
doesn't become a belief, if it does something that you are
34:12
believing in, then it's just, it's just information.
34:15
It's just knowledge. You know, it's not, it's not
34:17
anything that you're going to sit there and adopt into a, a
34:20
lifestyle, into a worldview of things.
34:26
So that was one of the big ones. The other one of the other
34:28
things that I think was, you know, like I say, a ghost of, of
34:35
that Christian period of my life thing that lingered.
34:40
One of the things that lingered is the, is, is what sin is, You
34:44
know, because I was, you know, I grew up and, and believed, you
34:48
know, what sin is, is the, is sin is the transgression of the
34:50
law. If you know, you, you break
34:52
divine law, the, the law that you know God has, has
34:55
established, then you are therefore a Sinner.
34:59
You know, you are breaking the law.
35:01
Therefore you're a Sinner. And in order to receive, you
35:06
know, forgiveness and, and all this there there's, yes, you
35:10
know, there's, there's, there's grace through the blood of the
35:12
lamb and there's all these other things, but you have to repent.
35:14
You have to change. You have to do things that are
35:16
not what you've been doing because you know, you can't
35:20
just, you know, be sorry and then go back and do the same
35:24
thing that you said you were sorry for or the sin doesn't
35:27
ever get completely, you know, erased or wiped clean.
35:33
You're you're. Returning back to the muck,
35:35
you're returning back to the mire like a pig returning to the
35:37
filth. So the difference between that
35:41
and, and, and of course, you know, Heathenry is, is there's
35:43
no such concept, you know. So if I do something that I feel
35:48
is, is a transgression or sin against the gods, it's there's
35:52
no such thing that law in any Germanic heathen worldview.
35:57
But you know, what sin is, is, is is a breaking of law and law
36:01
is established tribally. It is established in any tribal
36:07
setting, you know, So the law, the Theu, the customs,
36:10
everything that it happens within a a tribal setting.
36:13
That is what dictates or determines lawfulness or
36:19
lawlessness. And, and those who upheld and
36:22
and preserved and kept the law, the law of their people, the law
36:26
of their tribe, the law of that, of that, of that chief or the
36:31
law of whatever. You know that, that, that group.
36:33
If if you were keeping that law, then you were lawful and
36:36
therefore you were good. You know, you were a good
36:39
person. You.
36:40
Were you were a person of with honor to uphold and to keep the
36:44
law. And if you weren't, if you broke
36:49
the law, then you and, and you transgressed or you, you know,
36:52
committed the sin of breaking that law, you were sinful.
36:56
You were full of sin. You were full of that reproach.
37:00
If it was in some, in some cases, because of the law that
37:04
you broke the law of your people, the law of the land that
37:06
you were part of and in that act, that is, that is the the
37:12
heathen concept of sin. It wasn't like and, and the, the
37:15
the divineness of that law was determined because it was it was
37:21
of of a social construct. You know, it wasn't because the
37:25
gods sat up in Asgard or where the hell ever and and laid down
37:29
laws for man to follow. No, it was the, the divineness
37:34
of the law, the sacredness of law was, was determined by what
37:37
was good for the people and how it was able to maintain a, a
37:42
well ordered society, well ordered community, well ordered,
37:48
you know, group. And so the concept of sin was
37:52
that I wasn't breaking divine law against divinity.
37:57
The divine law was breaking if if I was charged or or or told
38:01
to keep it by my people and therefore what I was doing was a
38:04
a sin against them and to sin against the gods that we served
38:10
and therefore the gods could could find perhaps you know.
38:13
A. A.
38:13
A. Reason to not allow the, you
38:17
know, their their favor or their blessing to be on the people
38:20
because that goes into another problem or did I say problem?
38:25
But you know, the ghost of Christianity that I had to
38:27
wrestle with was that. Our interaction with the divine,
38:32
you know, and, and how we interacted before with
38:34
Christianity was, you know, you pray to God, go to church, you
38:37
know, submit yourself to him. You know all these things.
38:44
That's not it with our with with Germanic Heathenry at all.
38:48
Our relationship with the divine, our relationship with
38:51
the sacred is reciprocal. Our relationships.
38:56
Are. Based around and upon the
38:59
gifting cycle. So what we do and how we act and
39:03
what you know, our our our gifts are what we blow the sacrifices,
39:06
the the offerings. You know these are things that
39:11
establish and maintain relationship with the holy and
39:16
in return they give their blessings to us.
39:21
It's not that we're sitting on a mount somewhere praying.
39:24
Oh, please, Odin, you know, make sure that I'm, you know,
39:28
victorious in this battle. Or please, Thor, let's please
39:33
let it rain so that my crops grow bountifully, so that I
39:36
don't starve this winter and have to eat my children, you
39:41
know, or whatever the case may be.
39:42
Whatever extreme thing it was. No, there was no blind.
39:45
Praying to the gods that the gods were approached with piety
39:48
and with respect. But it was.
39:53
A gift to the holy powers of blood of, of libations of, of
39:58
certain things. You know, whatever, whatever the
40:01
gift, it took a form of, you know, if it was at a, at a
40:05
historical, the heathen historically attested heathen
40:08
bloat. And of course, you know, animal
40:10
was sacrificed or maybe sometimes you know, even humans
40:14
in certain areas at one point in history, you know, human
40:17
sacrifices have been documented, but the the gift, the sacrifice
40:21
was something. In the hopes of exchanging it
40:25
for something else, for something in return.
40:28
So, you know, this wasn't just, we know there, there's there's
40:31
no savior in heathenry. There's no one figure of divine
40:38
status or otherwise who washed away the sins of our ancestors.
40:43
And now we don't have to do the bloat or do the sacrifice or
40:47
give the offerings anymore. Nope, none of that.
40:49
Our relationships with the gods now and today are the same as
40:54
they were in pre Christian times.
40:57
We still should be giving. Gifts we should.
41:00
Still be performing bloat in a certain way at certain times.
41:05
This is how our ancestors connected and and interacted
41:10
with the divine. So I had to, you know, again,
41:13
leave that baggage at the door and then realize that I'm not,
41:16
I'm not waking up on a, you know, on a Wednesday, giving a
41:21
special prayer to Odin when I wake up.
41:23
I mean, if that's what you want to do or if that makes you feel
41:25
good, I guess, you know, I'm not telling you, you shouldn't.
41:28
I'm just saying that that's not how we know that the as
41:32
documented anyway, as as how the, how people interacted with
41:36
the divine on a regular, on a, on a, on a basis as, as they had
41:39
it in their life. They were there.
41:41
Their interaction with the divine was done.
41:43
At certain periods of time and probably more frequent than what
41:46
we know of, you know, the, the, the, the bloats and when, when
41:50
they were done and how they were done.
41:52
That's just what was documented there.
41:53
You know, if if they're doing it three times a year for mentor,
41:56
midwinter, Victory, Bloat and winter nights, if they're doing
42:01
it for three times of the year, then they surely had to.
42:05
Be doing things more frequently. If they were that in tune with
42:08
the gods and and with divinity that they would do it at certain
42:11
periods of time, then they surely had to be doing other
42:14
things. On a more individual or private
42:17
level, but it wasn't without the giving of gifts in the process,
42:25
you know, or, or offerings in the process.
42:28
It wasn't just no blind prayer into the abyss of, of wherever
42:32
and then then hoping that the gods heard us or heard them.
42:41
So how I interacted with with divinity and and how I how I
42:45
understood who the gods. Are and how they interact with
42:51
us, that was a learning thing too.
42:53
That was something that I had to kind of let go of and go, well,
42:56
this is not the same thing. They're not.
42:57
They're not waiting for us to do good things to reward us, and
43:00
they're not waiting for us to do bad things to punish us.
43:04
The things that are good, that come to us are as a result of
43:07
our deeds, of of our works, of our actions, and the things that
43:12
come to us as a result of ill. Deeds or, or, or bad thing, you
43:18
know, bad things that come. It's, it's, it's not a
43:22
punishment or it's not a reward necessarily through those deeds.
43:29
And, and I had to learn, relearn that too, you know, like I
43:32
remember or unlearn certain things.
43:34
I remember, you know, being kind of raised and been brought up to
43:37
believe that if you had something kind of bad luck or,
43:41
or, or bad things befall you. And it could be something just
43:45
as simple as a sore throat or a headache.
43:53
As the other thing we ever we didn't, you know people that I
43:56
was raised in and grew up, you know, didn't believe in going to
43:58
doctors, medical doctors, you know, no, no synthetic drugs, no
44:02
lab created drugs. Everything had to be all natural
44:06
and and healing came from from what God created.
44:09
You know, nothing that was man made in the labs and stuff.
44:13
But the point of that, the point what I was trying to say was
44:16
that, yeah, what was the point of what I was trying to say?
44:26
The Oh yeah, if, if, if you had something bad happen.
44:32
So something as simple as a sore.
44:33
Throat or a headache. Sore throat could mean that you
44:38
know the Lord is punishing you because you spoke something that
44:41
you shouldn't have. Or if you got a headache, it's
44:44
because God's punishing you because you have bad thoughts.
44:48
You know, you did you hurt your leg?
44:52
Did you twist your did you twist your ankle?
44:53
Did you stub your toe well? Maybe you're on a path that you
44:57
shouldn't be walking. You know what I mean?
45:00
Did you cut your hand? You know, did you smash your
45:03
hand with a hammer? Did you hurt yourself on your
45:05
hands? Well, what are you laying your
45:06
hands to do? What kind of work are you doing?
45:09
It's it's it's. Not good enough work or you
45:11
know. Maybe you're, you're not
45:13
diligent enough, maybe your hands are hurt because you're
45:15
not working hard enough. Like all these things, like the
45:17
signs that you would have to look for for just basic things
45:20
happening to you. Well, there was a reason for it
45:24
and it was usually the reason was it's a punishment.
45:27
It's a lesson. You have to learn something
45:28
here. Don't do this, do that, blah,
45:30
blah, blah. And that's the other thing of,
45:35
of my Chris, the, the, the version that Christianity that I
45:37
was raising was that, you know, when I became heathen.
45:39
It's like, that's not how the gods operate either.
45:41
It's not even how our ancestors necessarily operate.
45:44
You know, not everything that happens is a sign.
45:46
Not every Raven is owed, not every, you know, not every cat
45:52
is Freya. You know what I mean?
45:54
Not every I'm I'm big in the Heron thing, but you know, not
45:57
every Heron is my ancestors coming or whatever.
45:59
It's it's not everything that happens is is is an automatic
46:04
omen. Or sign so sometimes things just
46:07
are what they are and they're like with with the whole like
46:09
illnesses or sicknesses. I mean these aren't don't read
46:13
so deep into it. Just because you got sick
46:15
doesn't mean that the gods are upset at you for something
46:20
that's so I had to relearn that or unlearn some of those things
46:24
that that gave me that world view in the 1st place.
46:27
And it all goes back to indoctrination, right?
46:30
All these things that I'm that I'm remembering and and and
46:34
talking about are as the result of and due to being
46:38
indoctrinated, being brought up in a way to believe it as truth
46:44
and some of these things. And this is just a small kind of
46:49
scratching on the surface, but, you know, some of these things
46:52
have taken years for me to, you know, get on, on wire myself
46:59
from, from really believing as, as, as, as true because I was
47:04
brought up in it for, you know, 20 some years almost close to.
47:09
Yeah, 'cause I mean, I again, I left New York when I was 21,
47:12
going on 22, but I still had those things that I was.
47:18
You know, I was living in a way or trying to at least live in a
47:20
way that that was reflecting upon my upbringing.
47:23
So I still had those world views, a part of my life.
47:26
Even after I stopped going to that church or, or living with
47:30
those people or following that particular path, I still had
47:33
that as what was informing my world view on things.
47:39
So you know, 20 plus years of indoctrination having.
47:44
Other people tell me, you know, and then what other people told
47:48
me was also, you know, you need to study, you need to learn, you
47:53
need to do it yourself. And so when I did and when I
47:55
started learning other things or I started kind of thinking.
47:57
For myself, that was, that was a no go.
48:00
You know, like they're like you, you know?
48:07
It was weird because out of one side of their mouth, I'm being
48:10
told, you know, Don't take my word for it.
48:15
You know, see it for yourself in the scriptures.
48:17
Read it for yourself from God's word.
48:19
You know, well then when I start reading God's word and I'm
48:22
finding holes in it and challenging it, I'm being told,
48:24
no, no, no, don't do that. You know, now you're not
48:29
believing. Now you're doubting.
48:32
Well, which is it? You want me to challenge you
48:34
want me to read it from the book and get my own thing out of or
48:36
do you not? Or do you want me to ask you?
48:38
And then you tell me what you think it is and then I got to
48:42
believe you. So you know this back and forth.
48:45
I so much of that is, is what kind of got me to the point of
48:51
getting away from it. And again, challenging it was,
49:00
was what kept me away. I couldn't have conversations
49:05
about it. I couldn't bring up anything of
49:07
my beliefs to anybody because they felt like, you know, I was
49:11
the enemy. I was obviously, you know, I'm
49:14
the heathen, I'm the Pagan, I'm the bad guy by default.
49:17
There's no, there's no room for discussion with with regards to
49:22
that. You know, all throughout the
49:25
Bible, you know, it's heathens are the bad guys, pagans are the
49:28
bad guys. And and that has been maintained
49:31
throughout history. So that ghost is not anything
49:34
that'll ever. Go away.
49:35
It's just one of those things that we have to know and realize
49:37
is, is what it is. And, and, and most bigger, you
49:46
know, sets or, or or groups of, of, of Christianity will will
49:56
abide by that. You know, they might not be
50:00
vehemently against you if you're Pagan, but they're not going to
50:03
necessarily if they're if there is an interest to warm up.
50:07
To you and and to be kind, it is with the purpose of wanting to
50:12
convert you. They are trying to save your
50:15
soul. You know, at least for the for
50:18
the most part, there are rare exceptions.
50:19
There are rare people that that have enough respect for an
50:24
individual's belief that if they go listen, I'm you know, I don't
50:27
jive with what you believe in. I'm not the I'm not going to
50:31
accept it as truth for me, but I'm also not going to, you know,
50:36
disrespect your. Position, you know, I'll, I'll
50:43
let you believe what you want to believe and I'm going to believe
50:45
what I'm going to believe and I'm not going to try to force
50:46
you to think differently. Those are rare exceptions that
50:49
that is, you know, there are people out there like that.
50:54
I'm fortunate enough to to know some of them.
50:56
You know, I know people that have been in my life for as long
51:00
as I can remember, you know, so 30 some years, almost 40 years,
51:06
I've, I've, I've had people in my life and, and they're
51:09
definitely not going to subscribe to heathen beliefs,
51:13
dramatic Pagan world views on things.
51:16
They're not, but they're not also not going to try and, and
51:23
change my mind. They're going to maintain their
51:26
belief and we're going to get along.
51:28
We've gotten along swimmingly Despite that.
51:32
We don't, we may talk about certain things and there might
51:36
be, you know, subjects that come up that, you know, we each have
51:40
our own opinions on, but we have those opinions.
51:42
We talk about them and that's it.
51:43
We don't, we're not sitting there trying to convince the
51:45
other one that my opinion's right, yours is wrong this side
51:48
of the other. So that's another big one of of
51:52
that I had to. That I was glad.
51:55
To address, you know, ghosts of, of Christian conversions, is,
51:59
is, is the, the need to feel that or feeling that need to try
52:04
and convert people or change people's minds about things.
52:07
Getting to a place in my life where I felt comfortable in my
52:12
conviction, strong in my convictions.
52:13
I'm, I'm, I'm not in a place of having a crisis of faith any
52:17
longer. You know, I'm fine with what I
52:19
believe in. And as it, as I grow, so does
52:22
it. And the thing that I believed
52:23
in, you know, 10 years ago when I first started on this heathen
52:26
path, that version is not what I believe anymore.
52:31
I believe and other things that are in line with that worldview,
52:35
but it's it's not, it's not what I started out as, you know, and
52:39
I'm sure that in the next, you know, however many years going
52:42
down the road, I'm not going to be in the same place that I am
52:45
now. At least I hope not.
52:46
I hope that my growth allows for me to leave what I need to leave
52:52
where that needs to be left and to grow with myself and to grow
52:55
with my beliefs in ways that are serving their purpose to allow
53:00
me to grow. Because if I stay stagnant, if I
53:02
stay still, this, you know, I'm not going to, there's no growth
53:07
in that. So I don't know, this wasn't
53:15
really intended to be an episode where I'm like, well, here are
53:18
the top 10 things that I had to unlearn or deprogram from and,
53:22
and, and whatnot. It was it was more I think of a
53:26
of a kind of a letting you in somewhat into my past and some
53:30
of the things that I encountered and maybe some of the things
53:34
that you hear from me today are remnants of things that you've
53:41
had to deal with yourself. Maybe there are things that
53:44
you're going through yourself now.
53:45
Maybe you're listening to this podcast and you're coming into,
53:50
you know, a non traditional, an alternative lifestyle of the
53:54
beliefs of things. You know, maybe you're maybe
53:57
you're listening to this, you know, at a friend's house or in
54:01
your car, because if you listen to something like a Pagan or
54:04
heathen podcast in your house or near your family, then you know,
54:07
you'll be disowned. So maybe you're having to do
54:09
listen and learn about these things in secret.
54:11
You know, so there's a there's a part of this podcast that I want
54:14
to have as a message to go out there to you that says, you
54:18
know, don't be afraid. Don't I know it's tough.
54:22
I know you're going to feel like you're the, the bad guy, you're
54:26
letting people down, that maybe you feel shame, but don't, don't
54:34
be ashamed for yourself. Don't be ashamed of yourself for
54:39
wanting to learn. You know, don't be ashamed of
54:42
yourself for, for seeking knowledge, for seeking wisdom,
54:46
for, for learning, OK, if you have to do so discreetly, you
54:52
know, because of a living situation or because of a family
54:54
situation, you know, be safe. And I and I wish you well and
55:01
I'm sorry that you have to go through that type of type of, of
55:04
approach, but don't let it stop you.
55:08
Don't let the situation stop you from becoming happy and and and
55:14
finding fulfillment fulfilling, finding purpose.
55:17
Finding peace, I think, is the real goal.
55:20
You know, I've been asked a lot recently.
55:27
Maybe not a lot, but I've been asked enough recently, you know?
55:31
Are you happy? And that's a.
55:35
That's a. For for for a three worded.
55:38
Question. You know, that's a very loaded
55:42
one. And I go, you know, most of the
55:45
time I think I'm, I'm in a place where I'm content.
55:49
I think emotionally, most of the time I'm satisfied with, you
55:54
know, my state of being. It's, but it's because I'm at
55:57
peace. And there's definitely plenty of
56:01
times where I'm not happy about the situation.
56:03
I'm upset about something or I'm sad or I'm, you know, maybe
56:06
stressed or, or worried or thinking or whatever.
56:09
I'm going through all the human emotions, you know, that that we
56:12
all have and that we all go through.
56:13
So nobody special there. But I'm not in the pursuit of
56:19
happiness. No, I'm, I'm in the pursuit of
56:23
peace because I can be at peace when I'm sad.
56:26
I can be at peace when I'm stressed.
56:31
I'm, I can be at peace when I'm angry.
56:33
I can be at peace when I'm happy.
56:35
You know what I mean? If I'm, if I'm having to be
56:38
honest with, with, with myself and with everybody is I want
56:42
peace. I don't want to be happy all the
56:45
time. I want to be at peace all the
56:46
time. So that way I can deal with
56:48
whatever it is I have to deal with in whatever and in whatever
56:52
situation brings an emotional response.
56:56
Something makes me happy, I'm going to be at peace to be happy
56:58
about it. And if something makes me sad
57:00
and then I'm going to be at peace to be sad about it.
57:03
It's OK to feel all those things and I need to, you know, that's
57:09
my answer is, you know, I'm not worried about trying to find
57:15
happiness all the time. I want, I want peace.
57:17
I want to be at peace with whatever.
57:20
So I guess is, is where why, why I mentioned that, you know, for
57:23
you, for anybody listening this or listening to this or watching
57:27
this, you know, is, is to, if you, if you're going through a
57:33
time of having to transition from anything, if that's where
57:43
your heart truly is, if that's where your peace truly is, is in
57:46
the transition of from one thing to another, if that's what
57:50
brings you peace, then do it. OK.
57:55
And there's, and it's a very complex process or can be a very
57:59
complex process for people transitioning from one thing to
58:02
another and, and one belief, one lifestyle 1, you know, whatever
58:07
the it's, there's a lot that goes into changing and shifting
58:12
from one thing into the other. A lot of times that can be done
58:16
as a reaction to something. It can be, we think we're, you
58:19
know, acting out of a response to something.
58:22
But really it's it's it's. A.
58:24
Reaction to some sort of trauma or reaction to some sort of
58:27
thing, you know, I'm going to become Pagan because it'll piss
58:30
my parents off. Learn something from that.
58:37
You know, don't don't necessarily stick with that
58:41
approach. I mean, if you're if you're
58:42
learning things, but. If you're for real.
58:44
Reason. If your purpose is to do
58:46
something to, to irritate somebody else, you're going to,
58:48
you're going to, it's going to perpetuate a lifestyle of
58:52
turmoil to varying degrees. So find your purpose, find your
58:58
peace, and then protect that, nurture that.
59:08
So yeah, I hope that that little bit of ramblings this week for
59:13
the last hour or so was helpful for you.
59:15
And if it was and you can comment anywhere on this, please
59:19
feel free to do so. I know some of the listening
59:21
platforms offer that as an option where you can comment and
59:23
engage with the content with myself.
59:27
So if you can and you want to leave a comment, please do so.
59:30
For those of you watching this on Patreon, you have the option
59:33
to do so as well. And this is a great way to help
59:36
support the show, ladies and gentlemen.
59:38
So if you're listening to this every week and you want to help
59:41
the show and our production of it, just that $1.00 pledge every
59:45
month helps tremendously. And with enough people doing it,
59:49
I'd really like to get to a point.
59:51
You know, I mentioned earlier that the GoFundMe is up for my
59:56
mother-in-law to get medical upgrades to her life to her
1:00:01
home. And, and I thought, man, you
1:00:03
know, how awesome would it be if I could take, you know, one
1:00:06
month's pledges, you know, from everybody that.
1:00:13
Quote UN quote follows or subscribes to what I do because
1:00:16
I got, you know, almost. 38,000 people on Facebook 1.2 almost
1:00:22
1.3000 on Instagram, almost 6 1/2 thousand on YouTube.
1:00:28
You know, that's 4546 thousand people potentially that this
1:00:33
could reach. And man, what if every one of
1:00:35
those people, I know they're not all real and they're not all
1:00:37
going to. Hear this?
1:00:37
So that's a ridiculous thing, you know, like what if, what if,
1:00:40
what if 1% of them? What if 1% of that or 2% of
1:00:45
that? What if, what if just a small
1:00:46
percentage of that 10s of thousands of people just pledged
1:00:51
that one month, One dollar $1.00 from 10,000 people, $1.00 from
1:00:57
5000 people, hell, one $1.00 from 100 people.
1:01:03
That's not a lot and it's it is a lot.
1:01:06
It's not a lot to you. If you think about the one
1:01:08
person with that $1.00, when you start adding it all up, that one
1:01:11
thing, it can create a ripple effect and it can, it can change
1:01:15
somebody's life and we can get this thing done.
1:01:17
So that's my, those are my parting words.
1:01:19
Those are my parting thoughts. If you, if you haven't thought
1:01:20
about supporting the show for the show's sake, maybe support
1:01:27
it for, for an elder, you know, support it for their sake.
1:01:30
Support it so that way they have the option to safely and
1:01:34
comfortably, you know, bathe themselves, clothe themselves,
1:01:38
maneuver in their home. Anyway, just a thought.
1:01:42
So thank you for so much. Thank you so much for your
1:01:45
support. I'll get it out right here
1:01:47
eventually. I appreciate you all being here
1:01:49
in whatever capacity that you can be listening or watching
1:01:52
means a great deal. If you like this podcast, please
1:01:56
engage in any way that you can to show that support by liking,
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commenting, sharing all those fun things.
1:02:04
So thank you so much for all the support.
1:02:08
Looking forward to our next episode with Nitland.
1:02:10
It's going to be great. Looking forward to that.
1:02:13
And until we talk to you, then each other, then or later on,
1:02:17
may the gods continue to notice you, and may your ancestors
1:02:21
smile upon you, and we'll see you in the next one.