Latest / The Wild Woman Within: Recover from Burnout & Achieve True Work-Life Balance Through Feminine Energy / 19| The Work-Life Balance Mistake I Made Trying to Be a Good Mom

Transcript

19| The Work-Life Balance Mistake I Made Trying to Be a Good Mom · The Wild Woman Within: Recover from Burnout & Achieve True Work-Life Balance Through Feminine Energy

0:01
SPEAKER_00: Hello, welcome back to The Fitzen Project.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Rachel Fitzpatrick, and today I have a really fun story, a little bit of humility that goes along with it, and it's totally project management and yoga refined into one.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Like if project management was meeting yoga, they'd come together like the beautiful heart that they are.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: And today is no different.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: This story is no different.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: So this past month in August, since August 1st, I have been leading this 21 days for$21 with my yoga.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: So the fits in yoga, aside from the fits in project, but kind of all together because they're all fits in together, you know.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: So I have had 33 people sign up.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: And I think that was absolutely amazing.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: And what a special number.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: First off, 333 is just an amazing special number.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: 33 is amazing special number.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: And it also reminds me like when I was speaking with Jop and like her story and my story and how our age of 33 was like life changing.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: So I felt really inspired and really into this with the 21 days because it felt a little life-changing and significant because it's kind of like the launch of the Fitzen Project and like the launch of how I'm getting back into this online yoga community that I once dabbled in and had a little bit of fail in process and retention effort and then I ended up quitting my own job that I've created and canceled and backed out of the LLC that I created.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: And then with working in Kathy Heller's world, and of course I've mentioned her every single podcast because I don't think I'd be doing this if I didn't have her mentorship and her coaching.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: Now with my podcast, I am here and it's all kind of like relative as to how these little bitty moments are now showing up and how I've realized my own growth because I'm able to pause, like take a minute, take a break.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: And evaluate, see what happens, see how it showed up for me, why it showed up for me in XYZ and where to go from that moment.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: So bringing it back to the 21 days of the fits in yoga, we have been doing Monday through Friday at 630 a.m.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: Eastern Time live sessions, and they are up to 30 minutes every day for yoga online on Zoom, right?
3:12
SPEAKER_00: I've had a lot of people, a handful of people that join every morning for the live session.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: And then for the recorded, I get about a handful of people that watch the recording.
3:24
SPEAKER_00: So that's been super fun and fruitful and I've really enjoyed it.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: It's gotten me into my own practice even more, even in more depth.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: And I've noticed from like recording one to now where we're almost done with the 21 days as to like how I've even improved with my online practice.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: presence and being able to speak even better.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: Uh, it's just been a gift and I'm so, so grateful for the ones who wanted to take the step into this new journey with me and trust me in keeping in this whole realm.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: So thank you very much for joining.
4:12
SPEAKER_00: If you are one of the ones that are in it.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: And again, this is like worldwide.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: So anybody could have joined and And I post a lot of this on Instagram.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: Well, the Instagram is thefitzinproject.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: So if you are on Instagram and you want to see any more future offers, which I will announce at the end of this podcast, please go follow.
4:35
SPEAKER_00: And then also check out my standstore.com.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: FITZEN, F-I-T-Z-E-N, just like the FITZEN project, right?
4:43
SPEAKER_00: But it's just FITZEN because there's going to be yoga.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: There's going to be other stuff that we can do there too.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: It's all a project.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: So during this 21 days, I also meditate with my community on weekends at 630 in the morning on Saturday and Sundays.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: And it's been another one of those like improvement sessions for me.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: And not only how this has shown up for me and how I've been able to provide to everyone, but how it's just been opening, eye opening in like the true talent that I feel like I flows to and through me and how I've been able to open up to be a receiver and then open up to be a gifter of all of this.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: And it's just one of those things that I'm extremely grateful to be able to acknowledge as that comes to and through.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: And it's allowed this like creativity to just like, I don't know, ripple effect out into everyone that's in this community.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: And it's just been blissful, like the amount of comments and daily texts and messages that I receive from the friends in the community.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: It's just been a true uplifting scenario for all of us.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: So the other day, this is where the story comes into play is the other day, I'm in The 21 days and everyone knows like I have a four year old son.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: This is new to him too.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: And it's new to me like as a mom of a four year old, not that I've ever been a mom to a four year old before February 26.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: But Now that I've got one and we're in it, and I'm also trying to cultivate this new process, this new project, and cultivate this new business, in a sense, and then also keep the grounding job, career that I absolutely adore with the people that I get to work with, who I also adore as a project executive.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: It's been a little bit...
7:02
SPEAKER_00: Um, fun navigating the weebs and webs and all of this.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: It's not.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: challenging because I feel like a challenge would be like it's hard because it's not hard it's like a it's a gift and it's a way to always like smooth and refine right like it's not like it's a challenge because to me and and how challenge the word challenge comes up to me is more like I'm walking barefoot on rocks that's challenging it hurts it's uncomfortable but it's something I can do and it's something I don't really feel like doing ever.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: So that's how the word challenging, challenging shows up to me.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: Do I like a good challenge?
7:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: If I can see my way through to the other side, but it's maybe the competitive side in me is just like too old to give a shit.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: So That's probably why it's not like the word I want to choose.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, back to me.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: 21 days.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: I have a four-year-old.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm doing this and he is super into being recorded these days.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why.
8:30
SPEAKER_00: Probably because I am.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: And he's obsessed with me and I love it.
8:37
SPEAKER_00: And I also love to get annoyed by it.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: I'll be honest.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: So when I'm trying to do my thing and I'm trying to get into my life and how I want to show up in my life, it is one of those things where I like to do it by myself.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: And he is not understanding any of that.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, but why?
9:05
SPEAKER_00: Why can't you understand that mommy needs 30 minutes in the morning?
9:12
SPEAKER_00: How is this hard?
9:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, from a nearly 40-year-old person, that doesn't seem hard at all.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: 30 minutes, sure, go take your time.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: But when it's a 4-year-old, it's like, oh, my God, why is this happening to me?
9:28
SPEAKER_00: This is so long.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: This is never going to end.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: You're never going to be available.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: And his shoulders are slumped, and he's like, wah.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: so yeah if you know you know so i tried to explain with my community in the most um uncouth message and for those who got to see it bless it and for those who didn't i'm so thankful that you missed out on that opportunity because What happened was when I got into this 21 days, it was 6.30 in the morning.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: I had been already annoyed by the four-year-old.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: And I'm getting on just to...
10:13
SPEAKER_00: So I started a week before the 21 days just to get myself acclimated to getting up early because this is new for me.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying it all brand new.
10:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying out getting up at 5 a.m.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: 5.30, 6, see what time works, what's my sweet spot.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying settling him into his day and seeing what his sweet spot is so then I can pivot and adjust.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: And I'm also trying to work with my partner, my fiance's time, because he also has to get up at the ass crack of dawn and go to work.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: So all of this...
10:51
SPEAKER_00: in the time that I chose for my 21 day reset, you know, piling on the shoulders pretty heavily, pretty intensely, especially like the week leading up to starting.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: So I was not the best person to live with.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: And also I didn't even like living in my own brain because it was just like, I felt it.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: Like I felt a lot of stress.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: I felt the...
11:20
SPEAKER_00: desire to be perfect.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: I felt the need to have it all figured out.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: I felt the never ending project management pressure that I feel in my actual day job from leadership.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: Mind you, I'm my own leadership in most of my day job and I'm my own leadership in most of this fits in project.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: I do have leaders in my day job who I adore and love to, but they're not really pressuring me nearly, nearly as much as I'm pressuring myself to make sure all ducks are chirping and vibing and grooving together, right?
12:08
SPEAKER_00: You don't even have to be in a row.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: You just need to be together.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: Like I don't, I don't need somebody way out here.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: I just need us all to be on the same page.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, I'm, leading up to starting and I'm just like not the most like in it.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm not like present.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm not having fun.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: And my fiance is like, why are you even doing this if you're not having a good time?
12:31
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, man.
12:33
SPEAKER_00: Damn, you like called me out.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, ah, all right.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: Well, let's see if I can have a good time.
12:43
SPEAKER_00: But I'm When he told me that, I wasn't having a good time because I sent out this intro video.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: It was like I was walking through mud.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's what it sounded like.
13:01
SPEAKER_00: It sounded like I was the dullest, most uninterested, uninspired person in the planet.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: And that's basically...
13:14
SPEAKER_00: the vibe I was putting out.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: And it was like cringy.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: It was a cringe video.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: And I put it out, like I posted it in the 21-day email as like the first video for these people to join me on this whole entire thing.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: And part of it was, yeah, I've got a son.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: We're talking about boundaries.
13:41
SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, And I'm trying to tell him mommy needs time too.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: And he's just got to stay out of it.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, we can do it.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: You can do it type thing.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: And like, gross.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: Nobody wants to hear that.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: Nobody wants to be around people who are doing that.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: And definitely not investing their first part of the day with this kind of person.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: Like who wants to set their self up with this?
14:11
SPEAKER_00: And that's basically what my fiance was pointing out to me.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: Now, half of the people that are in it, or more than half, they know me and they know my personality.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: They know that I have this amazing child, right?
14:22
SPEAKER_00: They get it.
14:23
SPEAKER_00: They give me a lot of grace.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: But then there are people who don't know shit about shit about me and my life.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: And...
14:31
SPEAKER_00: They don't know the personality and the vibe that I am.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: And they're just like, probably looking at that and they're like, well, that was a waste of$21.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: I'll never see again.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not ever coming back to anything that you've got to offer.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: Cause that's how bad the taste this video was.
14:48
SPEAKER_00: It was just like, bleh, bleh, word vomit at 6 30 in the morning.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: And my feelings, ugh, strong, strong, strong negativities.
14:59
SPEAKER_00: coming at everyone through the mic in that one video.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: I saved it and it was not fun at all.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: I might play a little clip for you all at the end of this, just so you can see what I'm talking about, about how unhappy I was to be there in that moment.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, he was like, just change the password like right now.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: Don't let people watch it anymore.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like a glitch in the email.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: So that's exactly what I did.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: And I went immediately the very next morning and I dressed for success, dressed for the job that I want to have.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: Acted in the role and the magnet that I know that I am and that I want to be in.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: And I made a new video and I sent it out.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: And then like two people saw the new one because a lot of people don't open emails or videos.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: So there's that too, right?
16:06
SPEAKER_00: Like there's that.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: So I had more people see the bad one than the good one.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: However, you know, Lesson learned number one in this whole entire 21-day project plan.
16:19
SPEAKER_00: So got that out of the system.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: Drained it before I could fill it up.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: That's all.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: That's all I did.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: Drained the shitty energy before I could pretty get the good stuff.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: And there, here I am.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: So on another note, the other day I'm teaching a And it was really so cute because I'm teaching, my son gets up, he comes in and he's like, yeah, mommy, I want to do this with you.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: Everybody, this is my son, you know.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't introduce him because, you know, I already introduced him in life and in regular time.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, he started doing the yoga and he'd come in and out and in and out.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, warrior two, Theo, if you're going to stay, stay.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: If you're going to leave, leave.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: Warrior one, warrior two, reverse.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, like trying to like talk to him in the middle of calling out the poses.
17:15
SPEAKER_00: And usually I'm really...
17:20
SPEAKER_00: decent at telling a story in the middle of a yoga class, calling out poses.
17:28
SPEAKER_00: Like I, that's my niche, right?
17:32
SPEAKER_00: Like I can tell you a story about myself and these like little tiny episodes of what's going on in this little showroom of my life while you are doing yoga.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: And you, in your brain, in your body, you don't even realize you're doing yoga sometimes, as I'm calling it out, as you're listening to the story, or vice versa.
18:02
SPEAKER_00: Or you don't even realize you're hearing the story while you're doing yoga.
18:05
SPEAKER_00: Like it lands, it hits at different times, different people, different ways, never the same way at the same time.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: So That's one of the cool things that I love to throw into my yoga classes is a definite like story or two or three.
18:20
SPEAKER_00: And there's always something that sparks a memory of mine.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: And I never, never, never know what it's going to be.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: When I start the yoga class just says I never, never, never know how my podcasts are going to go as I start doing this.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: But that's just like me, man.
18:35
SPEAKER_00: That's how I'm going to flow.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: That's how I do my life in free flow.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: All right.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: I know I'm going to do a podcast episode.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: It's going to last maybe 30 minutes to an hour.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: I know I'm going to teach a yoga class that's either going to last up to 30 minutes or up to 45 or up to an hour or 90, whatever it is that I'm in the container for.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to tell the story as we go through the process and take you on this journey.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: And that's just how it is.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: That's how we flow.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: So my son's coming in and out and in and out.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: And he's like ruining my story time.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: And he's ruining my flow time.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, my God, I need you to just like stay or go.
19:17
SPEAKER_00: But if you stay, you got to listen to me.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: And if you go, just shut the damn door, you know, shut it behind you.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: So that didn't land with him.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: And what it did to me was like, give me this like anxious anxiety, like, oh, shit, I'm giving out a bad vibe again, just like day one, when I was trying to perk everybody up and get them excited and what to expect.
19:44
SPEAKER_00: And maybe that was like the miss that that video was really did serve the imperfect.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: And it really did serve the humanity side of my 630 in the morning.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: And I just actually in this exact moment, just realized that that wasn't even where I was going to take you.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: But how cool is that?
20:09
SPEAKER_00: It did serve the humble side.
20:12
SPEAKER_00: Cause I'll tell you what also happened the very next day, which sucked is then now like Theo's really into joining now.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: Cause he can now see himself on the computer and I don't, well, I know that he doesn't know.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: that there are people on the other side of the computer, right?
20:34
SPEAKER_00: That there's, this is going to be in the worldwide web, like for forever.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: He has zero intelligence about this because why would he?
20:47
SPEAKER_00: He's four.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: He doesn't even have a tablet.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: All he knows is there's a big ass TV in the living room and he likes to watch a lot.
20:55
SPEAKER_00: And he knows that mommy can take pictures and videos on her phone as can dad and as can yay and all and all the other people that he sees on their phone.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: So he's having a blast doing star pose and goddess pose.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: He's seeing himself and he's seeing mommy behind him and like the joy on his face.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: And I know about the joy on his face because my friend Kay, who is in our class, took screenshots of me and him doing yoga together.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: And it seriously turned my day back around to full circle and where I've landed now into this whole purpose podcast today.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: So what i what also had happened in that same class was he was like mommy he mentioned he has a mosquito bite on his penis he needed me to see that and i'm like oh my god don't don't no because my first instinct was we're on the world wide web I don't want you to show me anything about anything.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: I don't care if your penis is broken.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: Don't pull it out for the love of God.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: Do not.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: Don't.
22:17
SPEAKER_00: Don't.
22:17
SPEAKER_00: You can wait.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: It is not your turn.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: It's not this turn for this life event.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: I do not want you to do anything.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: Warrior two.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: Warrior one.
22:28
SPEAKER_00: Reverse, whatever the hell else.
22:31
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
22:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm missing a whole entire beat here.
22:33
SPEAKER_00: I know for a fact I did some stuff on the right side that did not hit on the left side because I'm over here worrying about this tiny little child pulling down.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: this pants and that's an immediate threat in my system.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: It's like fight or flight, girl, fight or flight.
22:51
SPEAKER_00: And immediately, like all I wanted to do was like quit.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: I swear to God, I just wanted to quit my own yoga class and be like, you know what, we're done for the day.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: I'll send you a new recording out and I'm going to go take care of this child.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, mom first, right?
23:08
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm a mom first and foremost.
23:11
SPEAKER_00: Everything else is on the back burner.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: in real, real honesty.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: But like, when I'm in that, and I was in that moment, that was not where I wanted to be.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: I did not want to be mom first.
23:24
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to be, this is the fits in project fits in yoga show.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: Let's do this together community.
23:31
SPEAKER_00: That's where I wanted to be.
23:33
SPEAKER_00: But Oh man, life was pulling me into being mom.
23:39
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, keep your pants up.
23:44
SPEAKER_00: So we get down and I told him, no, no, no, get out.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: You said that, get out.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, oh, and he leaves.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, all right, we can get back into this.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: No harm, no foul.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: Hopefully my audience right now doesn't think I'm the massive jerk of the jerk that I feel on the inside for shutting him down and telling him to leave because I didn't just mom first.
24:12
SPEAKER_00: I've ignored it and made him enter this boundary that we don't really have established, right?
24:20
SPEAKER_00: Because we're all new to it.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: We don't have this whole boundary identified thing.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: As much as I want it to be here, it's not here.
24:31
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm like, Theo, don't come in here until the first number on the clock says seven.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, I won't.
24:40
SPEAKER_00: Theo, don't come in here until the first number on the clock says seven.
24:43
SPEAKER_00: So he comes in here at what time?
24:45
SPEAKER_00: 633.
24:48
SPEAKER_00: Like you little pissant, what are you doing?
24:51
SPEAKER_00: Would you just listen for 30 minutes?
24:54
SPEAKER_00: Get the heck out of here.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: Play with the dinosaur.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, man, what a time to be alive.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: So then he comes back.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: And now I've got my friends in bridge pose.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: And we're holding bridge pose and coming back down and coming back up.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: And mind you, I'm literally like right behind me.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: I have the light on, the fits and project, all of the stuff.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: This is basically exactly how the studio was set up in this little room.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: And that with my new flower on the door, that is the door, right?
25:31
SPEAKER_00: Because it was just a white door and I was like, that's ugly.
25:33
SPEAKER_00: So I painted that last week.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: I think it's gorgeous.
25:37
SPEAKER_00: So it gets to stay.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: And...
25:40
SPEAKER_00: anyway he comes back inside and he is like yay star pose goddess and he got to the right end of that but then i'm down on the ground now and i'm like doing the bridge ups bridge down whatever and i look over at him and he's like mommy see and he's pulling his pants down in this moment and i'm like Oh my God.
26:09
SPEAKER_00: And I immediately get up and I jerk his little arm and I take him outside.
26:13
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, you've got to stay out of here.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: I will be done in just a minute.
26:17
SPEAKER_00: Please stop.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: Pull your pants up.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: Stay.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, that's how I talked to him.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, snap it, snap it, snap it, snap it, snap it.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, it's like a little chihuahua at this point in my body.
26:29
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, so I get back into the class and poor people, they're still in bridge pose.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: And I get down and I'm like, all right, let's let it go.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: Let it go, let it go, let it go.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: And that's mainly more for me.
26:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: And then we got into supportive fish pose and I put the block in between my shoulders, opened up my throat and I'm like, oh man, instant mom guilt.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: Instant guilt for not being available, for not identifying real boundaries or communicating, lack of communication.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: and to the most important stakeholder in my life.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my child, my number one fan for my entire thing.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: He thinks this room is the absolute coolest.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: He thinks yoga is so cool.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: And I just like hurt his feelings on a big ass level, like kicked him out of here.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: And he has no idea because, you know, how would he know to foresee any of what I'm doing and what I'm trying to accomplish, right?
27:45
SPEAKER_00: And it didn't hit me like that at all.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: It hit me and I was mad.
27:56
SPEAKER_00: Why can't you listen?
27:58
SPEAKER_00: What is going on?
28:00
SPEAKER_00: You know, like what is so...
28:04
SPEAKER_00: incorrect about your morning.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, I promised you we would snuggle.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: We snuggled.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: I told you when I was leaving the room, I'll be back in 30 minutes.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm across the hall.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: Don't come in there until the first number is seven.
28:19
SPEAKER_00: Where is this disconnect?
28:23
SPEAKER_00: And he's just like, I don't know.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what any of this means.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: And that was his response.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm literally talking to him exactly like I just said.
28:31
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't...
28:33
SPEAKER_00: baby talk with him or anything like that.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm talking to him like, Oh, what my friend, man, like, cause he's my friend.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: So he's also my child, but I'm also like his project manager.
28:43
SPEAKER_00: And I'm also, you know, mom and we've got to be nice, but we've also got to set rules and rules are here for safety.
28:53
SPEAKER_00: And it's unsafe for you to pull your pants down in the I rewatched the video before I posted it into the world and it's literally barely in his, his butt crack.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: You can barely see cause his shirt came down, but that was, that was it.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: You know, you could see a plumber's crack all day and see the same exact thing.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: So it's, that was it.
29:21
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, all right.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: But, and it's also password protected and private to my website and And only these people in the community can see it or have access to it.
29:35
SPEAKER_00: But it doesn't matter.
29:36
SPEAKER_00: You know, like that wasn't my fear.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: And I came straight out of fear like predator.
29:43
SPEAKER_00: Somebody's going to hurt you.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: Somebody's going to...
29:48
SPEAKER_00: One person, you know, will see and be the wrong person.
29:52
SPEAKER_00: And then everything in our life is gone, you know, as we know it.
29:57
SPEAKER_00: And it's not...
29:58
SPEAKER_00: in any way, shape, or form in that way, right?
30:02
SPEAKER_00: So that's what I was thinking immediately until I watched it and calmed down.
30:08
SPEAKER_00: And my friends who sent me videos and who are in the program and everything, they're like, I never saw it because it was so short of a beep.
30:18
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, ah.
30:19
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, yeah, overreacted, I would say.
30:27
SPEAKER_00: I definitely did.
30:28
SPEAKER_00: Almost missed an opportunity.
30:31
SPEAKER_00: Dang, man.
30:35
SPEAKER_00: Almost missed an opportunity to be with my son.
30:43
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
30:49
SPEAKER_00: And almost missed an opportunity to be the fits in project fits in yoga and And what is so cool about this realization is I talked this out.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, my friend Debra, she was on the podcast with me last week.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: She's in this program.
31:10
SPEAKER_00: And we talked through it.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: And she was like, he just loves being around you.
31:18
SPEAKER_00: And my friend Kay, she's like, he just loves being around you.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, it's just, that's what little boys do.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, yeah.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: And I was so embarrassed.
31:26
SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, of course he loves to be around me.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, like we have fun.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: We do yoga together normally, naturally.
31:37
SPEAKER_00: That is our thing.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: And now I'm doing it by myself and it's probably a slight to him or like he's being left out and like he's no longer invited to mommy's yoga parties.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: And that's probably he feels rejected and he doesn't know what that means because he's four.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: So I thought about it and I had all of this going on and I'm so, so, so grateful for the work and my mentorship.
32:26
SPEAKER_00: the work that I've been doing internally for all of this that I've been putting out and then like getting this chance to actually like connect with my friends talk it through connect with my mom and talk it through because I've talked it through with everybody Josh I mean poor guy here's I was just crying that day.
32:50
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I'm just like such a bad mom.
32:52
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, you're not a bad mom.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was, I just felt so much guilt for being so haste with Theo.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: It's just, just not how I do with him.
33:04
SPEAKER_00: I just don't, I don't like that.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: I don't like that side that comes out when I'm fearful.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: And that's just what it was.
33:13
SPEAKER_00: I was just scared.
33:15
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know what was being seen or anything like that.
33:20
SPEAKER_00: So I don't know.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: I was just concerned.
33:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
33:28
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, I was really happy to acknowledge that.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: And I met with him, Theo, again yesterday.
33:42
SPEAKER_00: Later that afternoon, because I thought about it all day long, and I asked him, I was like, would you like to be a yoga teacher with mommy?
33:52
SPEAKER_00: And maybe we can get kids and their mommies to do yoga together.
33:59
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, yeah, I want to do yoga with kids.
34:03
SPEAKER_00: I want to do yoga with kids.
34:05
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay.
34:08
SPEAKER_00: All right.
34:09
SPEAKER_00: Let's do yoga with kids.
34:12
SPEAKER_00: So we are going to put together in September, I'm going to do two Saturdays for$22 yoga with kids.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: It's going to be a mommy and me yoga and then I yoga.
34:35
SPEAKER_00: So what this is, is a, um, a way to provide the child with time specifically with mommy in this controlled community online environment and this is all for the child to feel comfortable and I feel like it's more like an anxious attachment situation where They could start out with mommy and do the things with mommy and it's breath and movement and then they'll be done.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: That's just how it's going to be.
35:16
SPEAKER_00: They end on their own and then we can get into real yoga moves with mommies and the kids can either come back or they can flux in and out, flux in and out.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: No stress.
35:34
SPEAKER_00: just movement with your littles.
35:38
SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't have to be mommies.
35:39
SPEAKER_00: It can be daddies and their kids.
35:43
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of this, I will let Theo help with leading the kids.
35:50
SPEAKER_00: And it's going to be two Saturdays in September.
35:53
SPEAKER_00: You can find it on my new stand store, fitzen f-i-t-z-e-n that i mentioned earlier and it'll be two saturdays for 22 and you'll be able to join virtually live which i hope that you do and it'll be at nine o'clock eastern and then if you want to watch the recording you can watch the recording so when you're in the live environment you'll get to see everybody who gets to join at the same time and it's kind of really fun to be able to have your cameras on together and the kids can see each other and they can like wave at each other and it's just a fun activity and something fun for the kids to be able to do so mommy and me then i yoga and that's going to be in September.
36:48
SPEAKER_00: So I invite you to check it out on the Stan store.
36:51
SPEAKER_00: The dates will be on the Stan store as well.
36:55
SPEAKER_00: I don't have my calendar exactly right in front of me, so I don't know the exact dates at the moment for this call out.
37:04
SPEAKER_00: However, it's more important that you visit the Stan store if you're interested so that you can see the offer and then you'll know exactly in your heart of hearts if this is the one that you want.
37:17
SPEAKER_00: And spend two Saturdays with me and Theo in September doing yoga together in our little room right here.
37:26
SPEAKER_00: So it'll be super duper cute.
37:28
SPEAKER_00: And I'm really, really excited to get this offer out.
37:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm excited to include him.
37:34
SPEAKER_00: And I'm excited that this is going to be an us thing.
37:41
SPEAKER_00: Like this is my and his thing.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: way it's what we do on saturday mornings we connect and do yoga together saturday mornings it'll be nine eastern so that's for sure so If you're interested, you can also send me an email at rachel at fitsinyoga.com.
38:04
SPEAKER_00: And that's also in the show notes.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: You can send a text message in the show notes as well.
38:09
SPEAKER_00: And you can become a subscriber to my email.
38:14
SPEAKER_00: And I would love, love, love nothing more.
38:17
SPEAKER_00: If you don't do anything, join the email subscription list.
38:24
SPEAKER_00: You might get two emails from me a week, but it's emails that announce my next podcast and how this resonates and it's more personalized.
38:35
SPEAKER_00: And it's also emails about like what's going on, journal prompts and things that can help you relate and grow in your own week and with intention, right?
38:48
SPEAKER_00: Like it's all intentionality.
38:51
SPEAKER_00: So I'm here to help with that.
38:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm offering one-on-one coaching and a clarity call.
38:58
SPEAKER_00: You can get in schedule on your own through the Stan store.
39:03
SPEAKER_00: So there's a lot going on and I'm here to give these offers.
39:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm here to throw it all out and let this flow to and through me.
39:19
SPEAKER_00: And that's it.
39:20
SPEAKER_00: Just to and through me.
39:22
SPEAKER_00: And Once I stopped that resistance with Theo and keeping him out and having this just be mine and allowing him to come in, it truly felt better.
39:39
SPEAKER_00: And it actually felt like this was the real calling that I've got from all of it.
39:45
SPEAKER_00: And if I had lessons learned, and the 21 days isn't over yet, but if I had the lessons learned, this would be the one.
39:54
SPEAKER_00: the biggest lesson that I learned was he too can join in our own container.
40:04
SPEAKER_00: We can create something together.
40:05
SPEAKER_00: And then another lesson that I learned from him this past week was I need to establish this boundary with him so that we don't end up in another scenario of that ever again and understanding what it means to be on the World Wide Web and what it means to be seen and available from people that you can't see.
40:38
SPEAKER_00: So we kind of talked into that.
40:41
SPEAKER_00: We kind of grounded into that a little bit.
40:44
SPEAKER_00: And he seemed to had understood because then the next day, After I had invited him on to my yoga show, we practiced at six in the morning together and he was in the video and he's like, hi, and it was just me and him.
41:01
SPEAKER_00: And he was like, hi, hi, mountain pose, goddess.
41:06
SPEAKER_00: And he would call out some poses and downward dog, ha ha ha.
41:11
SPEAKER_00: And then it was super cute.
41:12
SPEAKER_00: And I took him downstairs and Got him situated with his dinosaurs and he stayed there and he played.
41:21
SPEAKER_00: So we created our own morning routine out of this.
41:27
SPEAKER_00: And we also created our own offer out of our 21 days as well.
41:34
SPEAKER_00: And I really, again, genuinely appreciate the grace and the continued commitment through my community who was able to support me in that.
41:48
SPEAKER_00: And there were a lot of you that were super supportive.
41:52
SPEAKER_00: I mean, just showing up again the next day meant the world to me because I was like, oh my God, my career is over and I never even got it started.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: So just in all of that.
42:05
SPEAKER_00: Energy is super important and so are boundaries and clarity.
42:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
42:10
SPEAKER_00: So that's my project for the week.
42:15
SPEAKER_00: And next week, I am in.
42:18
SPEAKER_00: so excited I've got to announce this early so that you know to set your calendars to tune in the week after as well is I've got a special friend of mine Mike Tomes he's going to be on the podcast next week and we're going to dive into how he is in the business of himself and what that means he's a really good old friend of mine from Louisville.
42:43
SPEAKER_00: And he's a big socialite in Louisville.
42:46
SPEAKER_00: And he is as bright as he seems like he just is illuminating.
42:51
SPEAKER_00: So if you know, you know, if you know about Louisville, you know about him.
42:55
SPEAKER_00: I mean, he's hung out with people that are big stars in like big star industry, like Paris Hilton and Jamie Foxx and Jack Harlow, all like, Name drop, you know, whatever.
43:08
SPEAKER_00: Never thought that those names would ever appear on my podcast, but I'm excited, so excited to hear his story and share it with you next week.
43:17
SPEAKER_00: So there's a lot of things you can do.
43:19
SPEAKER_00: There's so many things that you can do.
43:21
SPEAKER_00: You can, first of all, give me a five-star review, you know, like on Apple Podcasts or YouTube or Spotify, you know, wherever it is that you're listening.
43:29
SPEAKER_00: There's one.
43:30
SPEAKER_00: You can join the September...
43:35
SPEAKER_00: um, invite with mommy and me and I yoga in the two weekends in September, you could sign up for the email subscription list.
43:44
SPEAKER_00: You can buy me a coffee.
43:46
SPEAKER_00: You can send me a text.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: There's just so many avenues, so many things you could do.
43:49
SPEAKER_00: So if you're really into it, do all of them.
43:52
SPEAKER_00: Otherwise I will see you next week when I interview the fabulous Mike.
43:59
SPEAKER_00: And until then, I hope you have the best week and I love you.
44:04
SPEAKER_00: Mean it.
44:05
SPEAKER_00: Bye.