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An Expanding Consciousness Recognises the Inherent Oneness and Mutuality of All Existence · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  When we identify with the ego personality, we view the world
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  as being separate and apart from ourselves, and we look at other
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  beings as either competition for resources or threats to our
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  existence. In most cases, we acquire
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  substance through effort and we try to hold on to it and add to
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  it to ensure our own survival and enjoyment of our lives.
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  From this standpoint, we therefore treat anything we give
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  away as a loss of substance and thereby an implicit threat to
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  our long term ability to survive and thrive.
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  When we see our existence from another viewpoint, however, we
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  can see that what we consider to be a normal viewpoint from our
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  ego consciousness is actually an illusion.
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  In fact, we are parts or elements within a larger unified
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  field of existence, and we coexist with all other beings
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  and do not actually survive independently.
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  We are not islands, but part of a vast continent.
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  The simple example illustrates this.
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  When we breathe, we obtain the oxygen we need to sustain
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  ourselves. This oxygen is generated by
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  plant life on the planet. The plant life gives voluntarily
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  its oxygen excretion to us. In return, we give back carbon
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  dioxide, which happens to be what the plant life needs to
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  survive. Thus we are symbiotic, not
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  separated. In this instance, there is a
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  mutual give and take that is occurring.
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  But when we look deeper, we can see that in fact, everything we
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  do in the world, everything we give, everything we receive, is
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  part of this virtuous cycle of mutual support, even if we do
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  not recognize it immediately. In the process of a specific
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  exchange of energy or substance, as we widen our consciousness,
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  we begin to recognize this natural process, like breathing,
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  that moves energy, substance, and support around freely.
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  At that point we find that giving what needs to be given at
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  a certain point in time is not a loss, but an affirmation of the
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  principle of oneness. And instead of suffering a
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  diminution, we help bring into view a greater harmony and
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  support structure that is based in that greater harmony.
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  A disciple asks, Why do human beings always want to have
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  something in exchange for what they give?
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  The mother notes quote. Because they are shut up in
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  themselves. They sense their limitation and
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  think that in order to grow, increase, and even survive, they
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  need to take things from outside, for they live in the
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  consciousness of their personal limitation.
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  So for them what they give makes a hole, and this hole must be
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  filled up by receiving something.
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  Naturally, this is a mistake. And the truth is that if instead
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  of being shut up in the narrow limits of their little person,
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  they could so widen their consciousness as to be able not
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  only to identify themselves with others in their narrow limits,
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  but to come out of these limits, pass beyond, spread out
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  everywhere, unite with the one consciousness, and become all
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  things, then at that moment the narrow limits will vanish.
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  But not before. And as long as one senses the
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  narrow limits, one wants to take, for one fears to lose 1
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  spends and wants to replenish. It is due to that, my child.
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  For if one were spread out in all things, if all the
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  vibrations which come and go express the need to merge into
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  everything, to widen oneself, grow not by remaining within
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  one's limits, but coming out of them, and finally to be
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  identified with everything, one would no longer have anything to
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  lose. For one would have everything.
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  Only one doesn't know this, and so as one doesn't know, one
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  can't do it. One tries to take, accumulate,
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  accumulate, accumulate, but that is impossible.
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  One can't accumulate. One must identify oneself.
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  And then the little bit one gives, one wants to get back,
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  one gives a good thought, one expects some recognition, one
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  gives a little affection. 1 expects it from others.
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  For one doesn't have the ability to become the good thought in
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  everything. 1 doesn't have the ability to be the affection, the
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  tender love in all things. One feels just like that, all
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  cut up and limited and fears to lose everything, fears to lose
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  what one has because one would be impoverished.
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  On the other hand, if one were able to identify oneself, one
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  would no longer need to pull. The more 1 spreads out, the more
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  one has. The more one gets identified,
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  the more one becomes. And then instead of taking, one
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  gives. And the more one gives, the more
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  one grows. But for this, one must be able
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  to come out of the limits of one's little ego.
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  One must be identified with the force, identified with the
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  vibration, instead of being identified with one's ego.
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  It is very difficult, but one can succeed.
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  End Quote Reference Srioro Bindo and the Mother Powers within,
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  Chapter 13, Power of Identification, pages 110 to
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  112.