Latest / Marriage Life and More and Bible Study / The Growing Presence of Sexless Marriages Pt 3 (Marriage Reset Series) - 289

Transcript

The Growing Presence of Sexless Marriages Pt 3 (Marriage Reset Series) - 289 · Marriage Life and More and Bible Study

• 0:05
  Daniel Moore: If your intimacy has felt a little off-road, don't panic.
• 0:10
  Daniel Moore: Even Hosea had to deal with the relationship that went sideways, and God still turned the Valley of Acor, the Valley of Trouble, into a doorway of hope.
• 0:19
  Daniel Moore: That means there's hope for your bedroom too.
• 0:22
  Daniel Moore: Even if right now it feels like a storage closet for unfolded laundry, then a sanctuary of passion.
• 0:28
  Daniel Moore: Just remember, if God can restore vineyards, he can definitely help revive a marriage where the only thing multiplying lately is throw pillows.
• 0:37
  Daniel Moore: Restoring sexual intimacy isn't just about flipping a magic switch, it's about healing, reconnecting, laughing again, and remembering why you fell in love in the first place.
• 0:48
  Daniel Moore: Sometimes what needs restoring isn't just desire, it's affection, playfulness, trust, or the kind of flirtation that you used to be really good at before you both started falling asleep during Netflix previews.
• 1:02
  Daniel Moore: So today, we're talking about how God renews what's been broken, how you can reclaim your sacred spaces, and how rebuilding your sexual relationship is less about pressure and more about promise.
• 1:14
  Daniel Moore: We're going to explore scripture, healing, practical steps, and yes, how to bring back that spark without turning your relationship into a tour chart.
• 1:23
  Daniel Moore: Welcome to Marriage Life and More.
• 1:33
  Daniel Moore: This is a podcast about marriage, Bible, and book studies, and we interview people with inspiring stories.
• 1:38
  Daniel Moore: I'm Daniel Moore, your host, and over here next to me is my beautiful co-host, my wife Michelle.
• 1:43
  Michelle Moore: Hey, hey.
• 1:44
  Daniel Moore: Thank you guys for joining us this week.
• 1:45
  Daniel Moore: If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at marriagelifeandmore.com for our platforms.
• 1:50
  Daniel Moore: Our YouTube and Rumble links are there.
• 1:52
  Daniel Moore: We're also on the Christian Podcasting app Edifi.
• 1:54
  Daniel Moore: And we're also on your Google and Alexa Smart devices.
• 1:58
  Daniel Moore: You can also visit us on social, on Facebook, Instagram, and X at CTGapOnline.
• 2:03
  Daniel Moore: If you're a fan of our show, please subscribe.
• 2:06
  Daniel Moore: Feel free to leave a comment on our platforms, give us a thumbs up or a five-star review and Apple Podcast.
• 2:11
  Daniel Moore: And we'd be eternally grateful to you for doing that.
• 2:14
  Daniel Moore: Well, as we get started this week, we are in the middle of our episode right now on sexless marriages.
• 2:22
  Daniel Moore: And we've made it through two parts of that so far.
• 2:25
  Daniel Moore: And this week, what we're going to do is we've we've kind of talked about the problems and the things that can happen between couples that kind of leads up to this issue of having a sexless marriage and how that can make you feel like roommates in your relationship.
• 2:41
  Daniel Moore: So we've covered that over a couple of weeks here.
• 2:44
  Daniel Moore: So now we're going to talk about if you are in that situation, how do we resurrect that sex life?
• 2:51
  Daniel Moore: And we've got four points here that we're going to work through.
• 2:53
  Daniel Moore: And as we usually say, we're going to try our hardest to get through all four of these today.
• 2:58
  Daniel Moore: But there's a lot of information here.
• 2:59
  Daniel Moore: So I don't know if we'll actually uh finish it this week or we may have to come back next week and finish this.
• 3:04
  Daniel Moore: We just don't want to rush through any of it.
• 3:06
  Daniel Moore: There's a lot of good material and content here.
• 3:09
  Daniel Moore: So this week we're going to go ahead and get into part three of our episode on sexless marriage.
• 3:28
  Michelle Moore: Think of the high-end car, perfectly maintained on the outside and under the hood, but left unused for months or even years.
• 3:38
  Michelle Moore: What happens?
• 3:39
  Michelle Moore: It might not start.
• 3:40
  Michelle Moore: The engine could stall, fluids may leak, and parts begin to rust.
• 3:46
  Michelle Moore: Similarly, when intimacy in a marriage is left idle for too long, restarting it can become surprisingly complicated.
• 3:56
  Michelle Moore: The longer couples go without sexual intimacy, the more emotional and relational friction builds, and avoidance often becomes a default method of survival, rather than a temporary solution.
• 4:09
  Michelle Moore: Over time, avoiding sex turns into a hard-to-break habit that negatively impacts the relationship in deeper ways.
• 4:18
  Michelle Moore: If a car won't start, people know to call a mechanic.
• 4:22
  Michelle Moore: But in sexless marriages, couples often feel stuck, uncertain of how they begin a conversation about intimacy without triggering old arguments or emotional pain.
• 4:35
  Michelle Moore: Many have already tried and failed, turning discussions into hurtful confrontations.
• 4:42
  Michelle Moore: To protect themselves and their relationship from additional wounds, they settle into silence, enduring a muted connection rather than confronting the deeper issues.
• 4:53
  Michelle Moore: But it doesn't have to stay this way.
• 4:55
  Michelle Moore: Just like a car can return to full function with care and intentionality, a married couple can rebuild their sexual connection.
• 5:04
  Michelle Moore: There is hope, real lasting hope.
• 5:08
  Michelle Moore: We serve a God who values intimacy as both sacred and joyful.
• 5:14
  Michelle Moore: You don't have to live in a sexual status quo.
• 5:17
  Michelle Moore: Change is possible and healing is available.
• 5:21
  Michelle Moore: In fact, online searches reveal just how widespread this issue is.
• 5:27
  Michelle Moore: The most searched marriage complaint on Google is about sexless marriages.
• 5:32
  Michelle Moore: It's looked up over three times more than unhappy marriage and over eight times more than loveless marriage.
• 5:39
  Michelle Moore: That's a powerful insight into what many couples are struggling with within silence.
• 5:46
  Michelle Moore: And in response to this, there's a flood of online advice promising quick fixes from things like scheduling sex, sleeping naked, planning spicy date nights, trying out new positions, rotating who initiates, or talking about fantasies.
• 6:06
  Michelle Moore: While these ideas may temporarily increase physical activity, they rarely solve the emotional disconnect at the root.
• 6:15
  Michelle Moore: These tactics are like sprucing up a sinking ship, helpful perhaps, but ultimately insufficient if the heart of the relationship isn't being addressed.
• 6:26
  Michelle Moore: When couples are navigating sexual disconnection, one of the first things they hesitantly ask is, How often are we supposed to be having sex?
• 6:36
  Michelle Moore: They're not just after a number.
• 6:40
  Michelle Moore: They're wondering if their experience is normal or something's really wrong.
• 6:45
  Michelle Moore: It's such a common question.
• 6:47
  Michelle Moore: It returns over 40 million search results online.
• 6:52
  Michelle Moore: There was a Bible study where the leader tried to motivate the women to reinvest in their sex lives.
• 6:59
  Michelle Moore: Each woman received a jar with instructions to drop in a coin every time she and her husband had sex over the next two weeks, then bring the jar back.
• 7:09
  Michelle Moore: The room filled with laughter, discomfort, and awkward glances.
• 7:14
  Michelle Moore: Some high-fi, others pretend to laugh along, and a few sat in silence.
• 7:19
  Michelle Moore: Though the idea came from a good place, it felt tone deaf to a variety of challenges people were facing, from exhaustion and resentment to past trauma or health issues.
• 7:32
  Michelle Moore: Here's what the research does tell us the average married couple in America reports having sex about 1.2 times a week or roughly five times each month.
• 7:44
  Michelle Moore: And interestingly, a study that analyzed over 30,000 marriages found that couples who had sex once a week were the most satisfied overall.
• 7:55
  Michelle Moore: More frequent sex didn't significantly improve happiness, so don't feel pressured to aim for daily activity.
• 8:03
  Michelle Moore: The key takeaway if both partners feel genuinely content with the frequency and the quality of their intimacy, that's what counts as a healthy sex life for them.
• 8:15
  Michelle Moore: As one expert observed, the real question isn't how often you're having sex, it's how connected you feel when you do.
• 8:24
  Michelle Moore: They explained it this way each person's sex drive is different.
• 8:30
  Michelle Moore: Each couple's marriage is different, and their daily lives are different.
• 8:35
  Michelle Moore: Since there are so many factors at play, it's really hard to know what is normal.
• 8:41
  Michelle Moore: The better question to ask is, what is normal for you and your spouse?
• 8:47
  Michelle Moore: Or what would each of you like your normal to be?
• 8:52
  Michelle Moore: Ultimately, there isn't a one-size-fits-all answer to how often couples should be having sex.
• 9:00
  Michelle Moore: But a much more helpful question is, what would each of you want your normal to look like?
• 9:06
  Michelle Moore: That shifts the focus from comparison to connection and gives room for mutual understanding.
• 9:13
  Michelle Moore: With that in mind, let's explore how you can begin to restore intimacy in a sexless marriage.
• 9:21
  Daniel Moore: I want to jump in here just for a second.
• 9:22
  Daniel Moore: You just made a very good point there.
• 9:25
  Daniel Moore: We've talked a little bit about especially social media and being online and how that creates a comparison problem.
• 9:35
  Daniel Moore: Uh we get on TikTok or we get on uh Pinterest or a lot of these places and we see things that make us want that.
• 9:46
  Daniel Moore: And a lot of times when that is bombarded, embedded in our minds so often, and if it's something we can't do, we start feeling inferior.
• 9:54
  Daniel Moore: We can have that inferiority complex if we're not careful about, well, they get all of this and all of that.
• 10:00
  Daniel Moore: How come we can never have all of this and all of that?
• 10:03
  Daniel Moore: And we know, you know, there's people out there that'll go broke just trying to keep up with the Joneses, you know, just trying to have that comparison in there.
• 10:11
  Daniel Moore: And we know that that's not healthy.
• 10:13
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 10:14
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 10:14
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 10:14
  Daniel Moore: And so this is a very good point here because, you know, let's look at our our life, for instance, from the day that we got married till now, uh, our sex life has changed dramatically.
• 10:28
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 10:28
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, if we really wanted to look at it like we were can gonna compare ourselves to some other newlywed couple or whatever, there's no no way that's gonna compare.
• 10:39
  Michelle Moore: No.
• 10:40
  Daniel Moore: Because when you're a newlywed, especially if, you know, your your first marriage, if you waited till marriage before you had sex, there is such a high anticipation there.
• 10:51
  Daniel Moore: And you know, more often than not, at the beginning years of your marriage, uh, your sexual side is very high.
• 10:58
  Daniel Moore: There's just a lot you d you have it a lot.
• 11:01
  Daniel Moore: And it goes on like that for quite some time.
• 11:04
  Daniel Moore: Now, once the first child comes along, at that point, I think you do kind of start seeing a change in the cycles of of how that happens.
• 11:13
  Daniel Moore: And again, that's life circumstances.
• 11:16
  Daniel Moore: You know, things start changing, and and that now, some couples that doesn't happen.
• 11:20
  Daniel Moore: Some of them they they're able to just keep that flame burning.
• 11:24
  Daniel Moore: And so when you see all of these different aspects coming into this story, it's easy to want to get online like they're talking about here.
• 11:33
  Daniel Moore: It's easy to want to get online and do that search.
• 11:35
  Daniel Moore: Well, I don't feel like I'm having it enough.
• 11:37
  Daniel Moore: I'm on a Google search to see what everybody else is doing because I think it's being withheld from me too much, you know.
• 11:43
  Daniel Moore: Well, you're gonna get all kinds of answers on Google.
• 11:46
  Daniel Moore: And more often than not, Google's probably going to give you an exorbitant number out there that's not even reached by most normal couples, you know?
• 11:56
  Daniel Moore: And so it again, it's gonna put something out there that you're probably never gonna be able to compare with.
• 12:02
  Daniel Moore: And so that's why I think it's so important with this statement that you just made that our relationship, we shouldn't be basing our sex life on comparisons.
• 12:13
  Daniel Moore: We have to make sure that it's whatever's normal for you and I.
• 12:17
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 12:17
  Michelle Moore: That's good.
• 12:18
  Michelle Moore: Because there's no way with Well, with my health issues, there is no, I mean, it's not the same as what most normal couples in their early 50s or you know, whatever would go through.
• 12:30
  Michelle Moore: I mean, and I think that people have to remember each couple is different.
• 12:35
  Michelle Moore: I mean, I like that that you brought that up because that's really good.
• 12:38
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, it comes back to we talked a little bit about it last week, that it's whatever we are both happy with.
• 12:45
  Michelle Moore: That's right.
• 12:46
  Daniel Moore: So as long as I don't feel like I'm being shortchanged by you and you don't feel like that you're being shortchanged by me, we're both comfortable with where we're at within our sex life, our love continues to grow, we continue to grow closer in everything that we do, then that's that should be our normal.
• 13:04
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 13:04
  Daniel Moore: That should be where we're at, and everybody needs to approach that individually within your own marriage.
• 13:10
  Daniel Moore: Don't be Googling nothing because even comparing yourself to friends, you're gonna have friends that are gonna be way more energetic and have you know way more opportunity or whatever you want to call it.
• 13:22
  Daniel Moore: Um, they're probably gonna have a lot better sex life sometimes than you are at the same age.
• 13:27
  Michelle Moore: Vice versa.
• 13:28
  Daniel Moore: And vice versa.
• 13:28
  Daniel Moore: You know, you can't compare yourself to stuff like that.
• 13:32
  Daniel Moore: And we're living in a a culture of comparison.
• 13:36
  Michelle Moore: That's what I was gonna say.
• 13:37
  Michelle Moore: That's good.
• 13:37
  Daniel Moore: We really are, and that comparison goes way beyond um having shiplap in your living room or not.
• 13:44
  Daniel Moore: There's much more to it than that if you're not careful.
• 13:48
  Daniel Moore: You can compare yourself right into the bedroom.
• 13:50
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 13:50
  Daniel Moore: And and then you can fail there because you feel like you're not keeping up with cultural norms.
• 13:56
  Daniel Moore: And that creates resentment, that creates issues in your marriage, it can create lots of communication problems if you're not going to communicate through all of that, and it can push you right into a divorce if you're not careful.
• 14:08
  Daniel Moore: And so you have to be careful with how you handle this stuff with this comparison.
• 14:12
  Daniel Moore: So I just wanted to jump in real quick and and kind of mention that because I really like some of that stuff that you were sharing there.
• 14:18
  Daniel Moore: So go ahead and pick up there.
• 14:20
  Michelle Moore: One surprisingly relevant passage when it comes to rebuilding intimacy is the Old Testament story of Hosea.
• 14:28
  Michelle Moore: In the opening chapters, Hosea is instructed by God to marry a woman who is unfaithful, meant to symbolize Israel's betrayal of God through idolatry.
• 14:39
  Michelle Moore: There's clear frustration and pain in God's response.
• 14:42
  Michelle Moore: He doesn't want to immediately restore the relationship.
• 14:46
  Michelle Moore: He wants to pull away to discipline and withhold his love because of the deep betrayal.
• 14:52
  Michelle Moore: But then, midway through chapter two, there's a dramatic emotional shift.
• 14:58
  Michelle Moore: Instead of pulling farther away, God chooses to approach his wayward bride with gentleness and kindness.
• 15:05
  Michelle Moore: He shifts from judgment to restoration, from distance to pursue.
• 15:11
  Michelle Moore: He draws her back with affection, not anger.
• 15:14
  Michelle Moore: His plan to win her heart involves tenderness.
• 15:17
  Michelle Moore: In the same way, when your marriage experiences the pain of sexual disconnection, it's natural to feel rejected, angry, or embarrassed.
• 15:27
  Michelle Moore: You might even want to withdraw to protect yourself by punishing your spouse emotionally, but lasting healing won't come from that retaliation.
• 15:37
  Michelle Moore: It begins when one person chooses to respond with grace and compassion even when it's hard.
• 15:44
  Michelle Moore: And that type of compassion is only possible when your heart is soft and open, not guarded or closed off.
• 15:52
  Michelle Moore: Rebuilding intimacy means choosing vulnerability over bitterness and connection over control.
• 15:58
  Daniel Moore: And with the book of Hosea, we've actually brought that up a few times in our marriage mentorship.
• 16:04
  Daniel Moore: And this that book also is the foundation of why we say that the sex relationship with a couple is part of the covenant with God.
• 16:16
  Daniel Moore: Because if you look at that story in Hosea, when God instructed him to marry Gomer, she was a prostitute.
• 16:23
  Daniel Moore: And so while he was living with her and being married to her, she was selling herself for sex.
• 16:29
  Daniel Moore: And it's very interesting that God was using that analogy with Israel through Hosea the prophet to try to show Israel how they were breaking their intimacy bond with God.
• 16:42
  Daniel Moore: He was using sex in order to make that to show that.
• 16:48
  Daniel Moore: It's a part of what your marriage is.
• 17:03
  Daniel Moore: It's the consist can be a lot of the consistency of your marital relationship.
• 17:08
  Daniel Moore: And God created that to deepen that intimacy between two spouses, to make sure that that love that you have for each other is unbreakable.
• 17:18
  Daniel Moore: And that's what God was after with Israel.
• 17:21
  Daniel Moore: He wanted an intimate relationship with them that was unbreakable.
• 17:25
  Daniel Moore: And he was trying to show them through Hosea being married to Gomer, the prostitute, but regardless of what she did to him, Hosea still loved her.
• 17:34
  Daniel Moore: He still treated her as his wife.
• 17:37
  Daniel Moore: He still continued to come back to her every day.
• 17:40
  Daniel Moore: And God was using that as an example.
• 17:42
  Daniel Moore: That's how we need to relate in our relationship with our spouses as well.
• 17:47
  Daniel Moore: So as we get started here with some steps about how to resurrect your sex life, uh, the first one here is something that you actually just mentioned is to soften your heart.
• 17:59
  Daniel Moore: And we know you'll hear over and over and over again as if you listen to marriage podcasts or uh you listen to uh marriage counselors, different people talk about it, one of the biggest things that they always tell you is do not let your heart close.
• 18:14
  Daniel Moore: Because if you let your heart close off to your relationship and to your spouse, it's very difficult to get that back open again.
• 18:22
  Daniel Moore: And you can't restore nothing with a closed-off heart because nothing can get inside there to cause you to uh to re-examine what's going on in your life situation at that moment.
• 18:35
  Daniel Moore: And so rekindling your sexual intimacy begins with a tender open heart.
• 18:41
  Daniel Moore: If you're having problems with that, you need to ask your Heavenly Father to replace your closed and hardened heart with a heart of flesh toward your spouse.
• 18:50
  Daniel Moore: Since emotions are the voice of your heart, talk to God about your feelings.
• 18:54
  Daniel Moore: Think about your sexual relationship.
• 18:57
  Daniel Moore: Here's some here's some ways maybe that you felt in that.
• 19:00
  Daniel Moore: You felt rejected as you've initiated sex only to be refused.
• 19:04
  Daniel Moore: You've been manipulated or pressured to be intimate.
• 19:08
  Daniel Moore: Maybe you've been criticized for your performance.
• 19:11
  Daniel Moore: Maybe you feel unwanted or not pretty enough.
• 19:14
  Daniel Moore: Maybe you were compared to an ex-spouse, which is a very dangerous thing to do.
• 19:18
  Daniel Moore: Never do that.
• 19:20
  Daniel Moore: Maybe you are judged for being too tired or exhausted, or you're embarrassed about performance issues.
• 19:26
  Daniel Moore: That's something that can really happen later on in life.
• 19:30
  Daniel Moore: Um, as age takes over, and that can be a definite issue there.
• 19:34
  Daniel Moore: Maybe you feel ugly because you've gained weight and your spouse doesn't seem to be attracted to you anymore.
• 19:40
  Daniel Moore: Maybe you feel humiliated when asked to do something that you weren't comfortable doing.
• 19:45
  Daniel Moore: Maybe you felt unloved by your spouse's self interest.
• 19:48
  Daniel Moore: Maybe you feel guilty for how you've treated your spouse, or maybe you're ashamed for being unfaithful, or for introducing pornography into your marriage.
• 19:57
  Daniel Moore: You know, any of these, and there's many more.
• 19:59
  Daniel Moore: That you could probably add to that list, but any of those things can close off your heart.
• 20:04
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 20:05
  Daniel Moore: And they can cause you to not even want to try to work on your marriage because you just don't.
• 20:10
  Daniel Moore: It could be the embarrassment of bringing it up and not being able to communicate through it.
• 20:14
  Daniel Moore: Or it could just be an actual desire of just not wanting to do it, period.
• 20:18
  Daniel Moore: You're just done.
• 20:19
  Daniel Moore: And as so many people get to that point.
• 20:21
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 20:22
  Daniel Moore: So as you're thinking about why your heart is closed off, you know, maybe you're just thinking, maybe you're just thinking about it superficially.
• 20:31
  Daniel Moore: But sometimes those issues, they may go deeper than what you realize.
• 20:35
  Daniel Moore: So you need to take a moment to pray honestly, like David did in Psalm 139, 23.
• 20:40
  Daniel Moore: He said, Search me, God, and know my heart.
• 20:42
  Daniel Moore: Test me and know my thoughts.
• 20:44
  Daniel Moore: You know, there's something powerful that happens when we acknowledge what we're really feeling, whether if it's hurt, disappointment, fear, or anger.
• 20:52
  Daniel Moore: Naming those emotions, preferably out louder in writing, can bring a clarity that'll soften your heart.
• 20:58
  Daniel Moore: As your heart becomes more open, finish David's prayer.
• 21:01
  Daniel Moore: See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
• 21:06
  Daniel Moore: That's verse 24 of Psalm 139.
• 21:09
  Daniel Moore: Often difficulties with sexual intimacy stem from both sides, even if it's not always equal.
• 21:16
  Daniel Moore: Ask God to shine a light on your own role in the disconnect.
• 21:20
  Daniel Moore: While you can't change your spouse, you do have the ability to address your own attitudes and behaviors.
• 21:26
  Daniel Moore: And I like that.
• 21:28
  Michelle Moore: As can Ray say that's good.
• 21:29
  Michelle Moore: I like that one.
• 21:30
  Daniel Moore: That one applies in a lot of areas in your marriage.
• 21:33
  Daniel Moore: Um, we've we're real big on when you try to fix a marriage that's having problems, is you fix yourself first.
• 21:40
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 21:40
  Daniel Moore: That's just one of the big things that that we always talk through as we work with couples, and that's what you and I had to do.
• 21:47
  Daniel Moore: We had to work on ourselves and take our responsibilities for the things that we were doing.
• 21:51
  Daniel Moore: Yep.
• 21:52
  Daniel Moore: So maybe you've approached intimacy with control, selfishness, detachment, criticism, or even emotional distance.
• 21:58
  Daniel Moore: So ask yourself, what have I contributed to the dynamic?
• 22:02
  Daniel Moore: Then take the brave step of asking your spouse for forgiveness.
• 22:06
  Daniel Moore: At the same time, offer them grace and forgiveness for their part.
• 22:10
  Daniel Moore: Now, this doesn't mean you criticize them.
• 22:12
  Daniel Moore: Don't call them on the carpet and start pointing fingers.
• 22:15
  Daniel Moore: That's not what this is saying.
• 22:17
  Daniel Moore: Uh, what this is saying is to ask your spouse for forgiveness for what you've you're part of, whatever it may be, and then be forgiving towards your spouse for whatever they may be doing.
• 22:29
  Daniel Moore: That forgiveness that you show your spouse a lot of times is going to soften them as well.
• 22:33
  Daniel Moore: And there is a chain reaction there that can happen where the other spouse can then sometimes have their eyes open and see some things just because of the forgiveness that you show.
• 22:44
  Daniel Moore: Um it can just be a chain reaction to that.
• 22:47
  Daniel Moore: And so, but if you start pointing fingers and say, okay, now I've done my part, I've forgiven you, so now what are you gonna do?
• 22:54
  Daniel Moore: You know, well, what's gonna happen with that conversation?
• 22:56
  Daniel Moore: It's gonna go down the toilet.
• 22:58
  Daniel Moore: You're not gonna get anywhere.
• 22:59
  Daniel Moore: So that's not what it's saying here, but what you do want to do is make sure that you offer forgiveness from your own self to them.
• 23:06
  Daniel Moore: Ask God to give you a fresh vision to help you see your spouse and not through past pain, but through his truth.
• 23:13
  Daniel Moore: Again, another important thing.
• 23:15
  Daniel Moore: God show me my spouse through your eyes.
• 23:17
  Daniel Moore: God show me my spouse through your heart.
• 23:20
  Daniel Moore: The enemy is subtle and persistent.
• 23:22
  Daniel Moore: As a father of lies, he's always trying to plant distorted narratives in your mind, like my husband will always try to control me in bed, or my wife will never pursue me sexually.
• 23:33
  Daniel Moore: Those thoughts may feel real, but that doesn't make them true.
• 23:36
  Daniel Moore: So pray specifically for God to help you see your spouse through his eyes, redeemed, loved, and worthy of grace.
• 23:43
  Daniel Moore: And I think that that's a very good first step, because you really can't do anything else if your heart's been hardened.
• 23:51
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 23:52
  Daniel Moore: You really you really can't put anything else into play whenever that's taking place.
• 23:57
  Daniel Moore: And it also, I think, gives us an opportunity to be humble before God.
• 24:03
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 24:03
  Daniel Moore: Because if we can do that prayer like David did, and I know that's a very scary prayer, you'll hear a lot of people talk about that one.
• 24:10
  Daniel Moore: That's a very scary one to ask God to do, to search our heart, because the heart is the very core of who we are.
• 24:17
  Daniel Moore: And a lot of times that's the part we don't want exposed.
• 24:20
  Daniel Moore: You know, that's our secrets, that's the things that are hidden within side of us.
• 24:24
  Daniel Moore: And we know that if we ask God to search our heart and to test my test our thoughts and all of those things, that's gonna cause us to have to do something eventually.
• 24:35
  Daniel Moore: Because if God starts exposing that stuff, then we got to take the next step on how to fix that.
• 24:40
  Daniel Moore: And sometimes that's a dirty thing, trying to fix issues and problems, maybe having to go to somebody and ask for forgiveness that they didn't even know you had an issue.
• 24:49
  Daniel Moore: I mean, there's a lot of things that that can put you in a spot of having to be humble.
• 24:54
  Daniel Moore: And so it's hard to ask God to do that a lot of times.
• 24:59
  Daniel Moore: The second one is uncover the real issues to share that with you.
• 25:17
  Michelle Moore: Just as God demonstrated in his approach to his people, speaking with gentleness opens the door to genuine emotional and relational connection.
• 25:26
  Michelle Moore: When your heart is soft, you're in a better position to discuss deeper issues.
• 25:31
  Michelle Moore: Not out of frustration or blame, but from a place of compassion and curiosity.
• 25:37
  Michelle Moore: When sexual interest or responsiveness fades in a marriage, it's often not the core issue, but a symptom of something deeper.
• 25:46
  Michelle Moore: If you're in a relationship where sex is rare or non-existent, it's worth asking, what's really going on?
• 25:53
  Michelle Moore: If you find that you have little desire for intimacy, it's important to explore the internal and external factors contributing to that.
• 26:03
  Michelle Moore: If sex has always been absent in your relationship, consider what might have led to that from the beginning.
• 26:10
  Michelle Moore: What patterns, beliefs, or experiences have shaped your sexual dynamic?
• 26:15
  Michelle Moore: These questions matter because healing can't happen without first identifying the cause.
• 26:21
  Michelle Moore: I love that.
• 26:22
  Michelle Moore: Often when intimacy declines, we're tempted to jump to conclusions, assuming the lack of desire stems from something dramatic like a secret addiction, infidelity, emotional attachment to someone else, or even the loss of physical attraction.
• 26:38
  Michelle Moore: While those situations can be real, many couples struggle with sexual issues for more subtle reasons and complex reasons.
• 26:47
  Michelle Moore: To move forward, it's crucial to identify not just what's wrong, but why.
• 26:53
  Michelle Moore: The process begins with personal reflection.
• 26:56
  Michelle Moore: What's going on in your own heart, your mind, and body.
• 27:00
  Michelle Moore: Take this time to focus inward rather than trying to fix or analyze your spouse.
• 27:06
  Michelle Moore: That's their responsibility.
• 27:09
  Michelle Moore: The only person you can truly change is yourself, and that's the first step sets the stage for real restoration.
• 27:16
  Michelle Moore: Here are the most common reasons for sexual problems in a marriage.
• 27:21
  Michelle Moore: As I read through the list, focus on yourself.
• 27:24
  Michelle Moore: Don't make this about your spouse.
• 27:27
  Michelle Moore: That's his or her job.
• 27:28
  Michelle Moore: Health problems such as low thyroid, arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, or cancer, performance-related problems such as premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, painful intercourse, or a disability.
• 27:45
  Michelle Moore: Medication side effects.
• 27:48
  Michelle Moore: It could be antidepressants, birth control pills, over-the-counter and histamines, and anti-seizure drugs.
• 27:55
  Michelle Moore: It could be alcohol or drug use, temporary circumstance such as children, job loss, bereavement, technology, TV, laptops, cell phones, and a bedroom, which I would suggest that's not a good thing.
• 28:12
  Michelle Moore: Exhaustion for caring for young children, a child with special needs, or aging parents, or the fear of getting pregnant.
• 28:22
  Michelle Moore: Negative associations with sex.
• 28:26
  Michelle Moore: Sex is dirty or sinful, how you are treated by an ex-spouse or hormone changes, pregnancy, breastfeeding, menopause.
• 28:37
  Michelle Moore: It could be sex isn't enjoyable, painful, or uncomfortable intercourse, and never an orgasm.
• 28:45
  Michelle Moore: Mental health issues such as anxiety or depression.
• 28:49
  Michelle Moore: Excessive stress could be from financial work or child care, poor body image or low self-esteem, history of sexual abuse or past sexual trauma, age-related sexual indifference or decreased sexual activity.
• 29:06
  Michelle Moore: Older couples are much more likely to be sexually inactive.
• 29:10
  Michelle Moore: They are more likely to have health problems, low energy levels, or experience erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness, and have it decreased testosterone and estrogen, predictability or boredom in your sexual relationship, low libido, which means your sex drive, or seasons when one spouse is temporarily uninterested.
• 29:36
  Michelle Moore: So sexually acting out, infidelity, excessive masturbation, or the use of pornography.
• 29:43
  Michelle Moore: Several recent studies have revealed that an increase in erectile dysfunction in younger men may be related to pornography use.
• 29:51
  Michelle Moore: Relationship challenges such as unresolved conflict, resentment about the division of household chores, and childcare, neglect, lack of emotional connection, poor communication, trust issues, poor hygiene, not being attracted to your spouse, or withholding sex, sleeping in separate beds or rooms because of quirks such as snoring, nocturnal TV watching, restless sleep, thermostat wars, that would be so me.
• 30:21
  Michelle Moore: One of one is a bed or blanket hog, early morning work schedules.
• 30:26
  Michelle Moore: One study found that as many as 40% of couples will sleep in different beds or rooms at some point.
• 30:33
  Daniel Moore: So let's take a stop here for just a second.
• 30:36
  Daniel Moore: There's a lot there.
• 30:37
  Daniel Moore: But one thing that I've noticed about this list is it's a diverse a lot of stuff.
• 30:44
  Michelle Moore: So I'm not sure what got left out.
• 30:47
  Daniel Moore: I know.
• 30:47
  Daniel Moore: It's like, and I think that brings to that brings home what we've talked about a little bit throughout this episode already, is the fact that a lot of times when the sex stops in the marriage for whatever reason, uh our minds automatically want to just assume uh the the worst as far as how our spouse feels about us.
• 31:14
  Daniel Moore: You know, it seems like that's where our mind always wants to go.
• 31:18
  Daniel Moore: And again, like we talked earlier, if you don't communicate, you'll just sit there and stew on that.
• 31:23
  Daniel Moore: And then you'll start formulating all these opinions and all these mind games and all this stuff will happen based on how I feel that you feel about me, you know.
• 31:32
  Daniel Moore: But in all reality, all this other stuff could be happening.
• 31:36
  Daniel Moore: I mean, that big old huge list that you just read.
• 31:39
  Daniel Moore: There's anything out of that list that actually could be taking place and could be causing that.
• 31:44
  Daniel Moore: And a lot of that has nothing to do with the way you feel about me.
• 31:47
  Michelle Moore: Right, right.
• 31:48
  Daniel Moore: You know, a lot of that is just life in general, you know, stuff happening.
• 31:54
  Daniel Moore: And but again, we just can't stress enough on the communication side of things.
• 32:00
  Daniel Moore: Because if if one of these issues are actually what's causing that problem in your marriage, you're not going to fix it if you don't talk about it.
• 32:08
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 32:08
  Daniel Moore: And it might be something too, where if there is a medical condition for sure, that your other spouse may need to get involved to help get get you some help for that, you know, help get the doctor's appointment set up or what you know, you might need a little bit of encouragement to uh get that taken care of if it's a life situation, you know, wrong with your body or something, because a lot of that stuff can be corrected with medical care.
• 32:35
  Daniel Moore: And so it's it's no reason to just sit there and hide it and not want to talk about it.
• 32:41
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 32:42
  Daniel Moore: Because you're just creating a a bigger elephant in the room by doing that.
• 32:47
  Daniel Moore: And so, but I you know, as you were reading that list, it's like, man, there's so many things that can cause that, but yet we want to dumb it down to just the worst, you know, of what it might be.
• 33:00
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 33:00
  Daniel Moore: And we want to dwell on that when probably more often than not, that's not really probably the issue.
• 33:05
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, I would agree with that.
• 33:06
  Daniel Moore: There's other stuff involved.
• 33:07
  Daniel Moore: So uh go ahead and fin continue on there.
• 33:11
  Michelle Moore: We know this is a long list, but you're searching for deeper issues and accuracy is important.
• 33:17
  Michelle Moore: What's going on with you that has contributed to the avoidance of sexual intimacy?
• 33:23
  Michelle Moore: What about you?
• 33:24
  Michelle Moore: What factors might be affecting your own interests or engagement in physical activity?
• 33:30
  Michelle Moore: If you're dealing with a health condition, hormonal changes, or side effects from medication, it's important to schedule an appointment with your doctor.
• 33:40
  Michelle Moore: If you're facing deeper issues like addiction, emotional wounds, anxiety around pregnancy, low self-worth, or past sexual trauma, it's worth seeking support from a trusted Christian counselor or professional who can walk with you through healing.
• 33:58
  Michelle Moore: Um, just so that you guys know this, that um there is a website out there that's www.puelifeministries.org that can help you with that.
• 34:09
  Daniel Moore: Especially pornography.
• 34:10
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 34:10
  Daniel Moore: That's that's a big ministry that helps men and women.
• 34:14
  Daniel Moore: They have a women's most a lot of pornography ministries only focus on men.
• 34:19
  Daniel Moore: Uh but this one actually works with the women and the spouse of the one that has the addiction.
• 34:25
  Daniel Moore: They've got resources for them as well.
• 34:27
  Daniel Moore: It's a very good place to go.
• 34:29
  Michelle Moore: Somehow.
• 34:29
  Michelle Moore: So sometimes the issue might simply be fatigue or stress from a particular demanding season of life.
• 34:36
  Michelle Moore: If that's the case, be honest with your spouse.
• 34:39
  Michelle Moore: Again, communication.
• 34:41
  Michelle Moore: Um that's the case, be honest with your spouse about it so they don't misinterpret your distance as rejection.
• 34:50
  Michelle Moore: Again, communication.
• 34:51
  Daniel Moore: Yep.
• 34:52
  Michelle Moore: You might also consider making some changes to your physical environment.
• 34:56
  Michelle Moore: Removing devices like TVs, tablets, and phones from the bedroom can help refocus your space as a place of rest and connection.
• 35:05
  Michelle Moore: If you're currently sleeping apart due to snoring or conflicting schedules, consider starting the night together in bed to allow room for physical and emotional connection, even if you end up sleeping separately later.
• 35:19
  Michelle Moore: I really like that because I haven't really thought of that too much.
• 35:24
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, and it's it's gonna be kind of common.
• 35:26
  Daniel Moore: I like that there's people that we know that sleep in separate rooms.
• 35:30
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, but I like the fact that start off sleeping together.
• 35:33
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 35:34
  Michelle Moore: So that you can have that physical and emotional connection.
• 35:37
  Michelle Moore: I really like that a lot.
• 35:39
  Daniel Moore: It too easily can become an excuse not to do it.
• 35:41
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 35:42
  Daniel Moore: If you sleep in separate rooms, as soon as the lights go out, boom, you're both your separate directions, and you know, you never even give yourself opportunity.
• 35:51
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, that's good.
• 35:52
  Daniel Moore: Um for that.
• 35:52
  Daniel Moore: So yes, I agree.
• 35:53
  Michelle Moore: Rather than assuming why your spouse may seem distant, take the courageous step to ask them directly.
• 36:00
  Michelle Moore: But remember, this kind of conversation needs to be a safe place for the both of you.
• 36:06
  Michelle Moore: Discussions about sex are often loaded with strong emotions, so it's essential that both people feel heard and not judged.
• 36:16
  Michelle Moore: Avoid bringing up your sex life in moments of physical intimacy or right afterward.
• 36:21
  Michelle Moore: That can that can feel like an ambush and often leads to defensiveness.
• 36:28
  Michelle Moore: Instead, choose a calm, neutral time and let your spouse know your intention is connection and not accusation.
• 36:37
  Michelle Moore: You might say something like this I know talking about our physical intimacy hasn't been easy.
• 36:44
  Michelle Moore: In the past, maybe it felt like I was blaming or criticizing.
• 36:48
  Michelle Moore: And I want to say I'm sorry for that.
• 36:50
  Michelle Moore: I'm not looking to assign fault or argue over who's to blame.
• 36:56
  Michelle Moore: I really just want to understand what's going on beneath the surface.
• 37:00
  Michelle Moore: We've talked about how much or how little sex we're having, or ways to make things more exciting, but I think those are just service level concerns.
• 37:11
  Michelle Moore: I'd like to lovingly explore what's actually at the heart of it for both of us.
• 37:17
  Michelle Moore: I want to have this conversation in a safe, respectful way.
• 37:21
  Michelle Moore: Would you be open talking about that with me?
• 37:24
  Michelle Moore: That's so good.
• 37:25
  Michelle Moore: That's not an accusation or anything.
• 37:28
  Michelle Moore: That's coming to someone in love and, you know, taking the blame part of it and saying, I'm sorry, and just I I really like that.
• 37:36
  Michelle Moore: And I like how they discuss in a safe place.
• 37:40
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 37:40
  Michelle Moore: And you know, I'm not accusing you.
• 37:42
  Michelle Moore: Let's go deeper, you know, let's get to the root of the problem.
• 37:46
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, and it kind of brings it back to what we was talking about earlier, where if you offer forgiveness from your side, if you take the responsibility to fix yourself and you ask your spouse for forgiveness for anything that you might have been doing or whatever might be taking place that that your part in, you know, and taking place in all of this, and then offer that forgiveness back to them.
• 38:07
  Daniel Moore: That's why we were talking earlier that it's so crucial that you don't say, I forgive you, and then turn around and say, now it's your turn.
• 38:14
  Daniel Moore: That's just not the attitude that you should have with that.
• 38:17
  Daniel Moore: Um we do know that more often than not, it takes two to play.
• 38:21
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 38:22
  Daniel Moore: So a lot of times there's problems on both sides of the equation.
• 38:25
  Daniel Moore: It's not just one person that's creating the issue.
• 38:28
  Daniel Moore: That's good.
• 38:28
  Daniel Moore: And we do know that a lot of times it's for it's from both parties.
• 38:31
  Daniel Moore: Uh, sometimes, though, it might be more one party than the other.
• 38:35
  Daniel Moore: We, you know, there's an off balance there sometimes.
• 38:37
  Daniel Moore: Uh, but the the thing you don't want to do is criticize, and we've talked about that before, just in communication styles.
• 38:44
  Daniel Moore: Um, you have to stay away from from criticism, blaming, shaming.
• 38:49
  Daniel Moore: Don't point fingers.
• 38:50
  Daniel Moore: Watch the tone that you're talking when you carry on these conversations, because the way that you talk, the the tone of your voice can make somebody feel like they're being attacked, also.
• 39:03
  Michelle Moore: I would agree with that wholeheartedly.
• 39:05
  Daniel Moore: You have to make sure that you're careful, and just like you were reading here, Michelle, on that on a good example of how to talk through that.
• 39:13
  Daniel Moore: You'll notice there's a lot of grace in that questioning statement there that you read, and taking some of the blame on your own self, you know, and asking for forgiveness while you're talking about that.
• 39:27
  Daniel Moore: And I think it's very important too, just like they said, don't wait till you have sex and then bring it up.
• 39:32
  Daniel Moore: Oh, I agree.
• 39:33
  Daniel Moore: Oh, that's gonna kill the whole moment.
• 39:35
  Daniel Moore: I mean, the one time you, you know, if you if you're already struggling in that area and you're finally able to come together and actually make it happen again, and then all of a sudden, once you're done, you roll over and then start accusing each other and bringing up stuff and baggage and whatever, it that's gonna kill that whole thing.
• 39:54
  Daniel Moore: And you don't you need to just savor that moment, keep your mouth shut for the time being.
• 39:59
  Daniel Moore: And get to the next day or whatever and find the right moment, pray for the right moment to bring that back up and to talk about those issues.
• 40:08
  Daniel Moore: Um you definitely don't want to do it right right in the moment when all that's taking place.
• 40:13
  Daniel Moore: So so yeah, there's there's a lot of stuff there um as far as uh if you do need some more information on uh the addiction side of things with the pornography and the other stuff that that goes on.
• 40:27
  Daniel Moore: We do have uh some resources if you want to reach out to us that we can get to you to get some help with all of that.
• 40:34
  Daniel Moore: Uh Pure Life Ministries is one of the best ones that I like.
• 40:37
  Daniel Moore: There's actually a few others though that are very good that we can also get to you.
• 40:42
  Daniel Moore: Um it's very important to make sure that that does not take a foothold in your marriage.
• 40:48
  Daniel Moore: Um, pornography can destroy a marriage.
• 40:51
  Daniel Moore: It's a no-no, regardless if it's one spouse doing it or if both of you are okay with it.
• 40:56
  Daniel Moore: It's still a big no-no because it at some point is going to set levels that you cannot reach anymore.
• 41:04
  Daniel Moore: And you're gonna start having troubles with intimacy in your marriage because nothing's gonna ever satisfy.
• 41:09
  Daniel Moore: And that's just another worldly thing that Satan tries to throw at us.
• 41:13
  Daniel Moore: And those addictions, you know, they're only good for a season, and then you have to do more.
• 41:18
  Daniel Moore: Um that's just the way that cycle is.
• 41:20
  Daniel Moore: We know that the only fulfillment that we can ever get and continue to get more and more fulfillment is in Christ.
• 41:27
  Daniel Moore: Um, once we allow him to come into our life and we allow him to rule and reign in our life, and we know that we can never get enough of God.
• 41:35
  Daniel Moore: And that's not the case with addictions.
• 41:38
  Daniel Moore: Addictions are just a temporary band-aid for a problem that's going on in your life, and that needs to be corrected.
• 41:45
  Daniel Moore: But yeah, I think there was a lot of good stuff there.
• 42:03
  Daniel Moore: We're gonna go ahead and uh come back next week with the final two points of how to resurrect your sex life.
• 42:11
  Daniel Moore: Uh, this has been a very good episode.
• 42:14
  Daniel Moore: I hope that something that we've talked about has resonated and maybe initiated a spark in in you guys out there if you're having this problem to try to fix this and correct it.
• 42:24
  Daniel Moore: Uh I think the biggest thing though that can be brought to light from this is the fact that you've got to be a little bit more thinking outside the box.
• 42:32
  Daniel Moore: Uh, when all this stuff is taking place, there's a lot of problems that could be causing that.
• 42:38
  Daniel Moore: And not all those problems are a bad thing, they're just life, stuff happening in general, and you need to be able to talk through that.
• 42:45
  Daniel Moore: So, is there anything that you wanted to add to anything that we've talked about this week?
• 42:50
  Michelle Moore: No, it was good on any of this.
• 42:53
  Daniel Moore: Oh, whenever, you know, whenever we went through our stuff, do you feel like you closed your heart at some point?
• 42:59
  Michelle Moore: Oh, yeah.
• 43:00
  Daniel Moore: So, how hard was it for you to open your heart back up?
• 43:03
  Michelle Moore: It wasn't me, it was God.
• 43:05
  Daniel Moore: Okay.
• 43:05
  Daniel Moore: So that's what I want to know.
• 43:06
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, I wanted you to share because I know that we went through a time when we were just done with each other.
• 43:13
  Michelle Moore: I didn't like you, I hated you, I didn't want nothing to do with you.
• 43:17
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 43:17
  Michelle Moore: Nope.
• 43:18
  Daniel Moore: And there was nothing I could say.
• 43:20
  Daniel Moore: Nope.
• 43:20
  Daniel Moore: That it was like I was talking, bouncing off the walls.
• 43:23
  Michelle Moore: What you said to me was blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 43:26
  Daniel Moore: Charlie Brown's teacher.
• 43:28
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 43:28
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 43:28
  Michelle Moore: I they were just words.
• 43:31
  Michelle Moore: They were they were nothing.
• 43:32
  Michelle Moore: Even if you tried apologizing, it I mean, it honestly, it was all gone.
• 43:37
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 43:37
  Michelle Moore: But I had to get myself first healthy.
• 43:42
  Michelle Moore: And, you know, and that's when I went to God.
• 43:45
  Michelle Moore: I'm like, okay, one, change my heart, you know, and see the things that you see out of him that I need to see, and you know, but work on me.
• 43:55
  Daniel Moore: What do you feel like instigated you to actually allow God to work on you?
• 43:59
  Daniel Moore: What was that changing moment?
• 44:01
  Daniel Moore: Do you remember?
• 44:02
  Michelle Moore: I've asked myself that question multiple times.
• 44:06
  Michelle Moore: And I know deep down inside I loved you.
• 44:09
  Michelle Moore: You were my best friend, no matter how much you hurt me and how much I couldn't stand you.
• 44:14
  Michelle Moore: But I honestly think it was prayer, not just by you, but other people for our marriage that kept that that part open.
• 44:23
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 44:24
  Michelle Moore: I thought I'd closed everything off, but there had to be something that um I again, it was God that kept a small part of hope in my heart open.
• 44:33
  Michelle Moore: And I think once it was like, okay, we can we can figure this out.
• 44:38
  Michelle Moore: I think that's what it was.
• 44:40
  Michelle Moore: I mean, no matter what happened to me and what was done to me, and what I was thought was more done to me, and what I had done, I still loved you deep downside.
• 44:53
  Michelle Moore: I remembered what it was and why I married you in the first place.
• 44:57
  Michelle Moore: And I think that's really truly that, and people praying.
• 45:02
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 45:02
  Michelle Moore: I mean, it it comes back down to people praying on their hands.
• 45:05
  Michelle Moore: I mean, we had a lot of people praying for us.
• 45:08
  Daniel Moore: Well, I wanted to have you kind of elaborate on that a little bit because since we were talking about softening your heart, uh, I know it we can say whatever we want to on a podcast, but people can listening can still think, well, there's no way that I can ever get my heart open and soft again.
• 45:24
  Michelle Moore: It's hard for me sometimes to still wrap my own my mind around it.
• 45:27
  Michelle Moore: Because if if anybody I know I'm just speaking words, but if you guys would have known how much I could not stand him and how much I hated him, it would have been just easier to walk away and be like, I'm done.
• 45:40
  Michelle Moore: But there was something that I I do truly believe that God was.
• 45:45
  Michelle Moore: There was him praying and then other people praying, that there was a part of my heart open that I did not recognize until I finally was like, okay, we can work this out, you know.
• 45:56
  Michelle Moore: But it took a long time for that to happen because I feel like God had to heal me first.
• 46:01
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, he had to take care of me and my problems and my issues and my insecurities.
• 46:08
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 46:08
  Daniel Moore: So there's hope.
• 46:09
  Michelle Moore: Oh, absolutely.
• 46:10
  Daniel Moore: There's definitely hope.
• 46:11
  Daniel Moore: Don't give up.
• 46:12
  Michelle Moore: Yes.
• 46:13
  Daniel Moore: You guys, everybody gets married at the point of their marriage for some reason.
• 46:18
  Daniel Moore: For whatever reason, you felt like that was the love of your life, and uh they were the person that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.
• 46:25
  Daniel Moore: And so you you need to search some way within your own heart when you get to that point where you feel like you're getting closed off and it's all done.
• 46:32
  Daniel Moore: You have to figure out some way that you can get back to where you were at the beginning and revisit that first love and try to rebuild that back into your relationship.
• 46:43
  Daniel Moore: And Michelle and I are living proof that that can be overcome, that hard heart, and it can be open.
• 46:52
  Daniel Moore: So that's gonna be all for this week.
• 46:54
  Daniel Moore: We come back next week.
• 46:55
  Daniel Moore: We will talk about the final two steps of how to resurrect your sex life, and that'll be the final ep uh part, I guess, installment of this episode.
• 47:05
  Daniel Moore: We'll move on to the next one at the at that point.
• 47:09
  Daniel Moore: Uh, but I hope you guys have gotten something from this over the last few weeks here as we've covered this subject.
• 47:15
  Daniel Moore: Um, but we're gonna go for now.
• 47:16
  Daniel Moore: It's all for this week.
• 47:18
  Daniel Moore: We pray that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode.
• 47:21
  Daniel Moore: This is an extension of Connecting the Gap Ministries, and we pray that you have a blessed week.