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You’re Wired for Survival: Why That’s a Problem and How to Fix It · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:00
  Kelly Hatfield: Welcome to the missing secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,
• 0:04
  John Mitchell: Hey, and I'm John Mitchell, or at least the 2025 version.
• 0:10
  Unknown: Yeah, I don't know about that 2024 version.
• 0:15
  John Mitchell: John Mitchell this year. That's awesome. Well, So Kelly, I'm thinking this a topic today is the problem with being wired for survival and how to fix it. What do you think about that dud? Do you think being wired for survival is not a good thing?
• 0:34
  Kelly Hatfield: You know, it is in the respect that, you know, initially, when we were, you know, as we've evolved, it keeps us alive. Being wired, wired for survival, keeps us alive. But in today's day and age where, you know, we're not necessarily being chased by tigers, you know, it doesn't suit us to the degree that it once did. And so I'm really excited to dig deeper into this conversation, because I think it's important. I don't think enough people understand how our brain works and what a detriment that can be in many areas of our lives,
• 1:06
  John Mitchell: Right, right? Well, you know, I've come to believe that being wired for survival is the biggest problem we face today, because, you know, we've talked about this before, but I want to go a little deeper today in that, you know, here's the things that, here's the effect of being wired for survival. You know, first of all, 75% of your thoughts are fear based. You're reactive rather than proactive on your important agenda, and you're profoundly resistant to change. Those are the three that we talk about a lot, but there's other ones that that I think are worth really delving into. We're also very self focused and we're also lazy. That's an effect of being wired for survival. Kelly, anything else you can think of that relates to be wired for survival.
• 1:58
  Kelly Hatfield: You know, I just when I think wired for survival, and when you say that, I wonder if people are really understanding kind of what that means, you know. And so talked about that, that fear. And so how does that one of the things I'm curious as we kind of roll out having not you and I not talked about kind of where you're going with this in our conversation today. But how does that present itself in people's lives? Like, when we say you're wired for survival and, you know, you're wired to be fear based. And, like, how does that show up? You know, what are some examples of how that shows up in people's lives?
• 2:35
  John Mitchell: You know, that's a that's a great point. You know, the way that basically shows up relates to the other key thing that people need to know is that 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are unconscious. And so what that means when you're wired for survival, it means that if you do nothing to impact those unconscious daily actions, you're automatically steered to be fear, balanced and reacted. You see what I'm saying that if you're 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are unconscious, that you're meaning you don't have conscious control of them. They're controlled by your subconscious mind. And because you know the the speed the human species was created to survive and you like you alluded to earlier, you know, 50,000 years ago, when there was a threat around every corner, you know, you wanted to be fear based. You wanted to be reactives. You didn't want to change, you know, because change would would indicate that there could be risk. And so, you know, when God made the human species, he made it so that it would survive, and that was extremely valuable. But you know, now we're many, many years down the road, and being fear based or reactive is exactly the opposite of how you want to be if you want to be productive, creative and happy, and so you don't want yourself to be innately fear based and reactive. And you therefore you have to override it, because it's there with every human being, but through our methodology, you can overwrite. Is that you like that helps a little,
• 4:22
  Kelly Hatfield: I think so. But I think one layer deeper would be like, so what if I'm, if I'm fear based? What are some things that happen that, like my brain does, that demonstrates that fear? So? Is it the the where, oh, I don't want to try that new thing because, you know, it's uncomfortable and people might judge me for it, and like, where your brain starts to make up excuses to not do things. Like, how does fear show up that part of our so that's kind of what I'm getting at, is, what does that how does that translate? How do I see that in my life? Because I think about too, and again, I'm coming from a little bit of a different perspective. I. Having done this methodology for so long, but for somebody who's just listening to this and hearing for it the first time, they may think I'm operating from a fear, a place of fear, and we would argue that, yeah, you know you are. So what is the proof that they are? Well,
• 5:16
  John Mitchell: I think, I think you know when, when your eyes open each morning, your natural inclination is to be fear based and reactive. I mean, that's, you know, that's just how you are geared. And that will show up in that you open your eyes up, and it's a new day, and you think, Oh, I wonder what's going to hit me today. That's not good. You know, this happened yesterday, and that wasn't good, and how will that play out today? And you know, you're like, you're also reactive, instead of, you know, proactive. And I think that, you know, the other day, I just did an experiment before I read my visualization, which is the way you override it. But I'm like, I'm going to see how I feel as soon as my eyes open. And yes, I was, you know, fear banks. I was reactive. I was just feeling how how am I? You know, just little meditation before I really got going. I see that a lot of times, people, the first thing they do is get on their phone. Oh, my God. That only puts being fear based and reactive on steroids and so but don't you think in that?
• 6:35
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, totally. And I think for me, when I you know, if I've got fear that I'm it is worry. Is one of the ways that fear shows up for me, is by worrying, or, you know, you just made a point about kind of the past, your past experiences, you know, living from the past versus living from the present. If you're waking up and you're in a negative mindset, and you're looking, you're, you're get, putting all kinds of negative energy out, and you're like, that is a that's an indication that you're operating in a fear, you know, based kind of situation. But I think worry is, of me is a big one. I think, if not, if you are negative self talk, anything that's negative is because that's part of that fear based brain is having a negativity bias, you know. And so, you know, I just want to kind of give people an idea of what we mean when we say fear based, you know, is those are the kinds of things that might be going through your head, you know, negative self, top stopping you from moving forward and doing that thing that you want to do, challenges in, you know, hanging on to relationships and things, because you're worried about what's going to happen if you leave this relationship. And what is that like? All of these things are really great indicators that you are operating from a place of fear, right?
• 7:52
  John Mitchell: Yeah, that's a great point, you know, that worry. And, you know, I remember back when I was 50 and and, you know, figured out the secret, and had created my template, and was just getting going on this methodology, and, and, you know, I was trying to create financial security. I was trying to find my partner in life. And so I had a lot that, you know, was the potential for worry. Well, as soon as I started feeding the succinct or take lights to my life, to myself each day, you know, exactly the first I want to be, exactly what I wanted to accomplish and precisely how is going to achieve my clearly defined goals, all that went away. I, you know, I wasn't worried about anything. I was so focused on what I was trying to achieve, because I was feeding that myself at the start of every day that it was a whole new ballgame, not a bit of worry. And you know, that's the power of it. And I see how people live their lives in fear and with this negative inner voice. And I'm like, that is a terrible way to live. Why would you put up with that? You know, I think people put up with it because they don't know there's an alternative. Yes, absolutely. And this is the alternative. This this method, 12 minute day methodology,
• 9:16
  Kelly Hatfield: John, there was actually something you mentioned too right at the end of what you just mentioned was that you said lazy. Will you kind of expand on that just a little bit of what you meant right before we kind of went into this point, we went off on fear you mentioned lazy,
• 9:32
  John Mitchell: Right? Well, I think we're all lazy, you know, I, and I may mention this time or two, you know, I saw that recently, I got a little lazy because I didn't want to exercise six times a week. And I'm like, you know, my identity is being fit and trend and and healthy, and I'm not good enough with being lazy. You know? I'm sure I would there's days where I would rather. To not do it. But, you know, I and I'm naturally inclined because I'm worried for survival to be lazy, you know, and, and I'll give you that another example, you know, I mentioned that, that being wired for survival causes you'd be self focused. You know, we all have gone through the holidays. Then think about when you saw your friends and family members, and oftentimes they don't ask you at all how you're doing. And you know, I You're nodding your head, I experienced and you know, then used to bother me, doesn't bother me a bit, in part, because I realize that's the human condition. People are not very self aware, that they're only focused on themselves. And that's one of the beauties of this methodology, is I damn sure don't want to be that way. So I program myself in my visualization to be self aware, to be interested in other people and inquire about them and ask what their opinion is, instead of spelling off what my opinion is. And you know, you can condition yourself to be the way you want to be, but if you just sit back and do nothing because you're wired for survival, you're going to be very self focused, and you're and very unself aware. You agree with that, oh,
• 11:27
  Kelly Hatfield: 100% I also want to point out too, that because the majority, because we're all wired, you know, to be really self, you know, of self, right? That when you are not, when you are the person, and we talk all the time, communication is one of the things that I really work on. When you are are engaged in somebody in a conversation with somebody in a conversation, and you are asking them about them. That is really a superpower in today's day and age, because everybody is so self and so absorbed. So when you do engage in a conversation like that, where you're asking people about themselves, and it's it sets you apart from 99% of the people in the room. So if you're looking to kind of become that magnet and that person that people love to be around, that is one of the ways that you do it. And to your point, we're not wired that way. You have to use a methodology like this to overcome that hard wiring that you have to be self absorbed, you know, so that you can show up this way in conversations, right?
• 12:28
  John Mitchell: You know, I tell you something that I've come to realize there is a real flaw in the success of human achievement field and also in the sports psychology field, the sort of the other field that I'm in. But a fundamental flaw in the success industry is that it's really not making people more successful. And the reason is, by and large, the entire industry misses the point that 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are unconscious and and the effect of that is that people want to get more successful. You get other success. Business will say, Well, you know, you need to continually learn and create a system for learning. Or it may say you need to focus on what moves the needle, or you need to be highly organized. Well, those, those are just three examples of strategies that the industry puts out there, and there's hundreds of strategies, but they're missing a very fundamental thing. All that's doing is impacting people's intentions. Because if 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are unconscious. Then you know when you consciously tell somebody else you need to be more organized, or you need to to focus on what moves the needle with their conscious mind, they hear that and but that's only setting their intentions. It's not impacting the anxious of focusing on what moves the needle or being organized. And you know, this was, I got more enlightened about this because I have got to know a guy in the sports psychology business that I think it's fabulous. And he was saying the very same thing. He says, nobody is teaching how to influence the subconscious mind, which is the doing part. You know, it's all focused on just the conscious mind and just to you know, recap this for people. Here's how the human mind works. Conscious mind sets your intention and is influenced by logic. Subconscious Mind controls your daily thoughts and actions, and it's influenced only by repetition. And you know, we've given that example of losing weight 100 times. Conscious mind sets the intention to lose weight based on the logic of the health benefits. But the reason people are losing weight. Not because they don't have the intention. It's because they're not influencing their eating and their exercising the actions associated with it, because, again, those actions and thoughts, 95% of them were unconscious. And yet, I find this so interesting that the entire industry is, by and large, missing this point. And you know, it's that it goes to, well, maybe, maybe that premise that 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are not unconscious, and that's why the entire industry is missing no you can go and google it, as we said, and ask, what percentage might daily thoughts and actions your unconscious and in big dark letters, this is 95% and gives the harbor research behind this, and there's a ton of research behind it. And so that fact is undenial, absolutely undeniable, yet the whole industry, the success in human achievement field, by and large, ignores it. And that's why, at the end of the day, a lot of what the industry teaches is of no value, because all it's doing is impacting your intentions.
• 16:20
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, all interesting. Oh, it's super interesting. And it's so funny because too like using the example of weight loss. So not only does somebody have the intention to do it, but they know everything you need to do to do it. It's no secret of what happened. You know what I mean. So then if those two things are true, you know what I mean? Then the third, you know, being about that, I mean, it makes perfect sense. It closes the loop. And that's why, when I first learned this methodology, and it was specifically related to just business, but it's improved every area of my life, but that's where it kind of started. Was wanting it to improve my business, was that I felt such a relief, because understanding how the brain is designed and how it works, was like, Oh, okay. So back to that lazy comment that you made. Your brain has so much to do. The reason why 95% of what you do is at the unconscious level is because your brain is the command center for everything that you do, and so it wants to make things too as simple as possible. That's what's keeping you safe is all about too, you know? That's why, like, some of these hormones that we have kick in, like adrenaline, when all of a sudden you need to, you know, to act like Its job is to do all of these things. And so it doesn't like change. It wants to be on autopilot, right? And your autopilots made up of all of those past experiences. So if you've built a habit, so we all have habits. We all have routines they either service or they don't. So if you've got a, if you've built a habit up over the last few years since COVID, of hanging out and watching Netflix for four hours at night, you know that's part of now you're, you know, kind of hard wiring, and so it's hard like that's your default the couch calls you and stops you from maybe doing those things you know that are going to propel you and move you forward, or that are aligned with your identity. And so that's why having this methodology to override that. You know, our brains being wired for survival and comfort and safety, and you know that's great to keep you alive. It is not required necessarily in today's day and age, but it is not what's setting you up to be successful. It's the exact opposite of that. You're it's not what you're not wired for success, you're wired for survival,
• 18:43
  John Mitchell: Right? And, you know, I think that that that combination of being wired for survival coupled with the vast majority of your thoughts and actions being unconscious, totally fit together, and that because you're unconscious, you know, you're you're innately steered to be fear based and reactive, and unless you do something proactive to to override that, that's how you're going to be. You're you're going to be like the vast majority of people we interact with over the holidays, where they're so totally focused on themselves, they don't even know that they're totally focused on themselves. You know, they're just being there, yep, totally,
• 19:26
  Kelly Hatfield: It's just their world. We get to live in it, right?
• 19:29
  John Mitchell: That's what that is, exactly, right? And so, you know, it's just interesting, you know, maybe because I'm so damn old that, you know, had a lot of experience, not, I've thought about, you know, how how people operated, and basically, how unenlightened most people are, you know, and I'm not throwing them under the bus, because for 50 years, I was pretty damn unenlightened as well. And I'll give you an example of this. It is really pretty to. To me, I think, is that, you know, when I was in my when I turned 40, I'm like, I'm going to do my best. And I think I've mentioned this before that, you know, I understood that doing my best was like getting up at six in the morning. And so off I go. And I'm thinking, hey, I'm doing my best. You know, success is inevitable for me, because I'm pretty sharp guy, and it'll all be good. And then when I got to be 50, and I was no more successful at 50 than I was at 40, I'm like, huh, maybe doing my best doesn't really work well. Now I look at it and I go, yeah, if you have a unenlightened view of what doing your best is, and you're not grasping how the human mind works. Do you think that you're doing your best, but you're not even coming close? And you know, you said it really at the start, that that everything changed for you when you understood how the human mind works. And, you know, I saw that as I got into my 50s, and I started doing this methodology. I'm like, Oh, I see doing my best. Sure, it's getting up early effort, but it also comes down being highly organized and having a system then, and I'm focusing on what moves the needle and it being a conduit of learning. Where I'm, I'm growing every single week, and it's strategic relative to what I want to accomplish. And I'm, I'm also setting aside time, two times a week to think, you know, and I now, I look back on on that like No wonder. I was blessed to have success, I then had a really clear view of what doing my best was of the six components, and the most important of those components was understanding how the human mind works, because then I could take control of those unconscious daily actions make all those things happen automatically, whereas Before, I couldn't have done that. I might have known about it, but I couldn't have made it show up automatically, without thinking. And that was the game changer. And that's how I look at at my life. The yield like in my 50s, if I would have said, Okay, now that I know how the human mind works, and I know you know the various components, doing my best, if I just do my best, then I'll be successful. Well, yeah, that's right, you I would have been highly successful. And was because, you know, I was doing those things and but it's interesting how, you know, I look back in my 30s and 40s and like, how little you are, clueless,
• 22:40
  Kelly Hatfield: Totally. Well, most people aren't like, this is new. You know, this feels new like understanding this. We're now starting to see more and more, you know, influencers talk about how the brain works and but up until, you know, up just even a couple of years ago, it wasn't something that was mainstream by any stretch of the imagination. So, you know, for me, it was just such a relief, you know, because it was like, Okay, now I understand why I have the best of intentions, yeah, and we'll do it for a period of time consistently, and then revert back to the way that I was doing it before. And instead of beating myself up over that anymore, I don't have to, because I've got this methodology. But if I ever do fall off track, I understand very clearly why. And I'm like, Oh, I see what's happening here, you know, and then I fine tune things, and then, you know, am able to get things back on track. But I just remember what a relief it was.
• 23:35
  John Mitchell: Yeah, yeah. Well, it's cool, you know, I see one of the cool things about Betty Elbert is just getting wiser. And, you know, as I we were talking off offline a little bit, next Tuesday, my book launches, which is exciting because it launches on the same day that I'm on a podcast with 2 million viewers, entrepreneurs on fire. You know, we're going to grow our magic 36 probably very quickly. I hope so. I love the magic 36 because they found us before I even made any effort to do anything Exactly.
• 24:14
  Kelly Hatfield: We're just doing this for fun. We really are years
• 24:19
  John Mitchell: And years and years of stuff just for fun, exactly. So I guess, unless we answer, oh, I know one final thing I want to say, it's interesting about being wired for surviving. You know, there's actually a good thing about being wired for survival that we are all naturally inclined to help other people. That's one of the effects of being wired for survival. You know, you look at, you know, I come up with, like, six things of being wired for survival. Most. Your thoughts are fear based. You're reactive, you're it first to change. You're lazy, you're self focused. Well, the good one is you're inclined to help other people, because that's how God made us, and that helps with survival when you're naturally inclined to want to help people. So, you know, I came up with six items, and five of them are bad, and one of them's good. So there is hope. So the takeaway from this is you gotta override being wired for surviving, because it's a lousy way to live. So until next time, we'll see it.