Latest / Autoras de palabra con Rosa / La escritora Sylvia de Béjar: "La madurez no trae consigo la pérdida de la sexualidad, sino la de la fertilidad"

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La escritora Sylvia de Béjar: "La madurez no trae consigo la pérdida de la sexualidad, sino la de la fertilidad" · Autoras de palabra con Rosa

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  Overcoming forty- five and walking the fifty hopelessly, crossing the dreaded threshold,
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  following I have not turned back just to advance the inevitable passage of time and
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  not to recognize oneself either in the mirror or in which you always thought you
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  were to face change. Your change is your silvia bejar in word authors with
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  welcome pink. Thank you very much, thanks to you heard like this and
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  I also add maturity brings with it, losses and sums, decreases our energy,
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  beauty or physical agility, mental skill, visibility, fertility and even sexuality.
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  If we hear everything, this is an exact horror and it' s
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  a lie. It' s a lie, this is the first thing you
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  mean. That' s why we start over there like. Please, please,
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  please, I don' t want to get there, but we'
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  re gonna get there hopefully we' ll get the bad stuff, it would
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  be accurate to me. Then you do what you have to do is not
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  believe everything that tells you and at the entrance, because it is true that
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  there are benefits that are not the same. But it also depends a lot
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  on what we do. It also depends a lot on, for example,
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  the physical subject, because that you eat well, that you exercise, that
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  is key, and we don' t often give it the importance it has,
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  that you don' t drink so much that this country is an alcoholic
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  country. So we owe a lot and we have it very normalized and it
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  doesn' t suit us. I mean, there are a number of things
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  that we have to take into account. But there is one thing that is
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  self- fulfilling prophecy. When you believe something, it usually happens because,
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  well, it' s like it' s just for leavelessness or because it
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  ' s what it' s about, so you don' t do anything
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  to prevent it from happening then and you don' t lose sexuality, even
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  though you lose fertility. That' s right, but I don' t
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  want to give anything and you want me to tell you, you lose the
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  situation. It won' t depend on what you do about it, that
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  is, if you' ve never been interested, hear how lucky yours has
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  an excuse to say it doesn' t touch anymore. But if you have
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  been interested and see that there is some difficulty, which is logical, because
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  you are fulfilling years and if you pass the pausia, there are changes in
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  your body that need a time to adapt and be yours again, because all
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  that will influence you. But to do many things is that not only remains.
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  We also add and suddenly we can prioritize what is that, maybe we
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  couldn' t do it that way. That' s totally true. The
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  problem is that we realize, that is, that we realize that the discourse
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  is periorative and that it must be stopped. I mean, it' s
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  good. If you want them to stay good. I' d rather it
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  stopped. But you don' t have it because you believe or follow that
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  path you have. I don' t know a brain not able to tell
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  you this to see I believe it, I don' t believe it and
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  it proves to me that it is so, that I can do to live
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  a life that seems interesting to me and that I like it I hear the
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  rest, whether they like it or not, what I carry is a problem.
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  What I want to be is that it tells you in me and live
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  in my authenticity, not in what you expect from me. Hormones aren'
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  t to blame for everything, because it looks like a broken sack. Everything
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  gets in there. Yeah, it' s the most comfortable thing and it
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  ' s what and we tend to simplify and it' s all very stereotyped.
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  Normally, when you have hormonal changes, it is coinciding with a time
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  of life that sooner or later in that part, at that vital moment,
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  is going to be a moment of questioning. It is inevitable when one approaches
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  fifty or exceeds it in that place that can be very large and there are
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  people that even happens to him later. You question yourself, you wonder.
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  This is exactly what I wanted. I don' t know. I'
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  ve failed myself many times, you think, many women think. I'
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  ve failed myself. I am angry with the world because it has treated me
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  badly forgives everything. It has to be nuanced and then, when that moment
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  comes, you can do two things. It' s hard to become a
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  very anxious or very irritable woman, or say well, I' m going
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  to catch and do something about it, which would be the ideal thing,
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  because victimism is of no use to you, the pissed off serves you if
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  it gives you energy to do something, if you' re angry, and
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  that anger has super tetiza, but if it doesn' t suit you,
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  then the one that starts you is to put in place, whatever the vice
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  tools are, tools that help you rethink things and refocus on something that suits
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  you exactly, and that' s possible. Another important thing is to put
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  limits when you can' t anymore, but of course, the limits you
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  put now in this situation where you seem to be unable to do more,
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  you should have put them at best before. No, but, well,
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  you' re always in time to say it' s worth it all the
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  way here Well, it' s just that of course what you' ve
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  already done. There' s no turning back. We don' t waste
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  time. He learns the lesson and there' s the choice, which is
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  the next idea. I' ll say no, or I' ll do
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  it another way. Then from there, I think you have to say well,
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  because up to here this I will no longer accept it. How I
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  can change it, how I can improve it. Evidently, the people around
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  you when you start putting limits on them. Some understand, understand, accept
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  and improve, but it' s not that easy. Normally, it'
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  s hard for them to repeat patience or stand up to you. So there
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  you have to decide and decide sometimes it' s making very drastic decisions,
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  but it' s either you or them. And I think that at certain
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  ages we could make sacrifices for a good son or daughter, for our children,
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  for example, because we have brought them into this world. But there
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  is a moment that even they must be limited. I' m not your
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  babysitter for your kids, or you don' t understand, don' t
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  come and get me the clothes that give you washing. You haven' t
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  left home, wash it yourself, well and at home you wash this kind
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  of thing and it costs us a lot, but you have to do it,
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  I believe, when we don' t want to face that which causes
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  us certain evils, we throw at points and it' s true dean solithic,
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  antidepressants, to buy, to eat impulsively. We have a disconcert there
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  that we want to satisfy that anxiety that the anesthetists produce us, the acts
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  of before. Yeah, well, I think there' s one thing there.
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  First, you have to realize no when you' re taking medication and
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  you see that you don' t get better or that when you release them
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  after a month you' re there again there' s something in there that
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  ' s not working for you and there' s signs, there' s
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  signs of your discontent. When something bothers you, you have to ask yourself
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  what' s behind it and let go of the anesthetizers that I don'
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  t think the most typical now are the nets, the shopping, the drinking
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  these things. You have to realize that before you drop the problem is you
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  ' re going in there. If you realize saying hey, I can stop
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  doing this for five minutes. Why am I resorting to getting into a network
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  so I don' t think, ask you a series of questions to try
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  and stop it. It' s hard for us because we' ve gotten
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  used to it. We have enormous intolerance to be frustrated, because we have
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  to endure frustration for a little while. If we make it next time,
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  another little bit. And there' s a time when you can start seeing
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  him with a perspective and say now I' m up to this. I
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  have to do something else. I have to think about what I don'
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  t want to think, because I' m right under my husband' s
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  nose. My job or this friend is making me uncomfortable and I should end
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  up with those very big things, that is, those above all are the
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  first things we should try to think about how I' m going to solve
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  it and the little ones, which are the little things that come to you
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  on duty day and take away time to do what you really want. For
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  example, not all of this, ask yourself how you are men not to
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  mouflate that exact answer. Not how you' re doing so well, really
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  that' s what you do How about ah, everything' s looking great
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  and then you say' cause I' m counting. I don' t
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  know you turn around and change your face exactly. So, if we did
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  that exercise, then the next one would be, because I' m not
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  well and then, maybe we' re going to solve and what we can
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  ' t feed, because we have to accept it. But once you'
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  re conscious, this happens to me, you don' t know anything about
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  it, and I' m trying to spend as little time as possible thinking
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  about it. Because when I don' t think about it, and this
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  is very important, when you don' t think about one thing, that
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  thing doesn' t bother you. No. So, if I can'
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  t fix it, I try not to think about it. I just can
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  ' t fix it. The truth is it is, but if I can
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  ' t fix it, what I' m saying is spinning around. Yes,
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  I try to accept it and try to find other things that will help
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  me cope with that better then, little by little. It' s like
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  you' re taking away what' s left over, what' s bothering
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  you, what' s weighing you, and you' re starting to have
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  more bone, more room for the good, for you, and that'
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  s not it, but you have to do it. You have to make
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  it come to that age, also, for example, in working situations,
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  in the suddenly, like you say, well, I already have what aspirations
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  I have. I don' t mean with this age come the next generation
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  that' s going to push me, whether I want to or not.
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  My training time has ended in my work too, but another way of seeing
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  it that I' m in is no. Now is the time to train
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  me on things that, maybe they' ll bring me a lot more than
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  I think I love. It' s that better way, if you can
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  afford it. That' s it, and maybe reinvent you in some way.
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  That is not to say, obviously, in the area of employment,
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  because it is complicated because, unfortunately, certain ages are very difficult to recycle,
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  but not because it is not worth it, but because society is imposing
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  a model, although I think they are beginning to realize it, because it
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  makes it very difficult for us. No, yes, but what you'
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  re talking about is what you can do and what affects you is the time
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  to rescue things that maybe you let yourself rediscover things you forgot. I don
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  ' t know. There are many things, there are many doors that open.
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  You have to close down, the ones you have left over, the
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  ones that weigh you down and the ones that don' t rent you can,
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  and there' s a lot more than you imagine I don' t
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  have time. Give me your timing of the day, what you' ve
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  done along, how much time you' ve spent on this, this,
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  and you realize it and it comes out an hour or two that I'
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  m sure and at least an isa one, because I' m going to
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  dedicate myself to reading if that' s what I like, I' m
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  going to dedicate myself to dancing if that' s what I want, how
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  much mindfulness helps us. I think a lot people think of mindfuind is meditating
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  It' s not that it' s not meditating it' s being present,
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  it' s realizing, it' s realizing every moment that you'
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  re not going to always do it well, but being very focused then and
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  that what happens, accepting what we' ve been talking about, not septating
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  what you can' t change and being very present in what you' re
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  doing. Why. Because, then, if life really makes sense, if
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  I' m here talking to you and thinking about something else, actually,
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  what' s going on, I' m not even here, I'
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  m not there, I' m not anywhere. Then I think mindfulness helps
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  you focus and focus on what matters. So how it changes when you focus
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  on what matters, which is an everyday training that at the moment is a
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  constant doing, the moment you stop doing that trying to focus, you are
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  no longer present. I mean, it' s like never. It'
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  s not that I learn manners and forget it, because integrated ones are not
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  a constant. People are not a constant. Yes, passion is to focus
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  on what matters, to really know what matters exactly. We have to first
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  start there, well, and that' s a constant search, because what
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  you care about today is important to you, today it' s going to
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  never change all the way, never all perfect that you accept it and you
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  continue not and above all you also focus on the good, because that'
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  s another exercise that we need to do, which is if the famous lists
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  of gratitude is that it looks like a fool and you don' t hear
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  it because you think so much about what you don' t have, what
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  it' s like and you don' t realize everything you have you like
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  it is wonderful, because you take it for granted. No. I was
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  talking to my shoes another day and I got ox feet. I couldn'
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  t fit in and the shoemaker tells me it' s my Zorry says but
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  you have feet. And I say Joly is reminding me of something I usually
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  say and I' m forgetting now because I want our popes taking the truth.
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  But it' s just this. I have feet. I can walk
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  in a vétis chair, because your breath. I' m here and I
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  ' m in. I' m here that there are others who are no
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  longer here and one day I won' t be exactly there. That'
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  s the posture to face the climaterium without fear, because we' re afraid
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  of something we don' t know, because I think it' s a
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  custom, which is one thing that' s the exact rierative discourse, and
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  besides, it comes from generation to generation, or you' re going to
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  go into a phase where it' s going to be all horrible. Horrible.
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  Perhaps the first symptomatology, the first symptomia in hot flashes or those disassemblements
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  with the rule, insomnia. Insomnia sometimes also excites states. Sometimes you have
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  to not just see yes or you don' t know what' s wrong
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  with you, which would be more your own. Let' s say she
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  ' s a teenager. Well, it' s just another kind of thing
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  that happens to them, that you' re not mature already, and it
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  seems like you can' t go back to that adolescence. But you'
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  re a record. But I don' t mean that emotional discontrol. Okay,
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  good, but you have to agree to understand. But the problem is,
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  you have the people around you. If they don' t get it,
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  they see you as an unbearable madman when it happens to you, man,
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  because it happens, I talk to everybody where it has to happen to
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  you every day. But if it happens to you, I think the first
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  thing you have to do is be nice to yourself and understand that it'
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  s a moment in your life and I' ll listen to you momentarily and
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  if you have to apologize, because you really have a chicken, because you
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  apologize, but I do think I explain to you with your people, your
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  children or your partner or who' s around to say, I' m
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  happening. This is why there are times when there are things that cost me
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  a lot because I am not sleeping and I get more nervous and then the
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  respect of others, because of course they mock something that is practically inevitable.
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  It' s not inevitable that what I mean happens to you is practically uninhabitable,
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  the subject of emotional swing. It' s inevitable that your hormones will
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  be gloomy. It' s inevitable that this will affect you somehow. It
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  would be very good if people understood or another thing that happens to you or
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  that you realize is that you have some small gap in your memory. Well,
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  this is age, too. If it' s worth it when your
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  body gets used to the change that' s happened, it usually gets better.
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  We' re not gonna be everything. No, that' s the
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  tone of demented firing at the cein. I don' t know what you
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  don' t touch. It' s clear that not in basic things,
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  so I explain to them, that is, when someone really tells you.
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  I' ve told you this three times and you don' t remember the
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  same. You have to start worrying or when you say yes instead of table,
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  no, but many times you don' t. One is worth it,
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  but it' s normal. Besides, it' s more normal.
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  I would say now because there are so many things going on at the same
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  time, there is so much noise in our life that you can' t
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  remember everything okay is that not bad is what it is, one of them
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  I' m going to say problems, or one of the things also that
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  happens to you, not like it' s vaginal dryness, the pain of
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  sex fixing the whole pardon, fixing everything fixable, of course everything, but
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  it' s a situation also like you' re on alert, not like
• 15:52
  it looks like it' s going to happen to you, that' s
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  not the case to see what I think it was eighty percent of women have
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  some genitor difficulties, but difficulty that you can work long before it starts,
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  when you start, you can work even long after you already have it.
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  That problem you can do something about because there are solutions to mana pera blanket.
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  It' s just that there' s a lot of them, and
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  it' s not like we don' t know them. I mean,
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  you can exercise every day or every other day. You can get moisturizers,
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  you can use britants for sex, and if you have a real problem,
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  you can go to a living peel aphisie, help a geneticologist, give you
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  a treatment. But there are things you can do about it. In fact,
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  I explain them in the seo. Yeah, I mean, you can
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  do such simple things and change your life, but you have to do them.
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  We have to know that this entry exists. I think it' s
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  the most myth of the exact myths, yes, yes, and I'
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  m livid by these terious ones that people don' t talk about that if
• 16:52
  you have a partner find you up. There are many who don' t
• 16:55
  want so much sex, there are many who have address problems. There are
• 16:56
  many who have problems and there is not much talk about this. And if
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  a woman has a man next to her who doesn' t have the gear
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  she has, she' s usually very respectful for not hurting her, you
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  hear jokes about the lack of male directions, on the other hand, about
• 17:12
  a woman' s lack of light. I hear that' s all,
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  there' s a lack of respect for this issue. We are ladies in
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  this respect, but ladies and gentlemen, we are very worthy. We hurt
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  uselessly no, or it' s good to have one that does, but
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  in general not. Then of course this is not talked about. Instead,
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  it' s always the fault and it' s the woman. She doesn
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  ' t have rido olean. Please, if you have had a normal relief,
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  it is a matter of time that you recover when your body is adjusted
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  again, when your life is more orderly, because when you are in a
• 17:44
  time of physical movement, biological, emotional crisis, because logically there are things
• 17:48
  that happen in the background it is worth and it is true that many women
• 17:53
  tell that they have less sensations than when they touch or touch them, they
• 17:59
  have less sensations that they have difficulty reaching trait. Question of time and question
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  of accepting and being and doing a series of exercises that will help you connect
• 18:06
  with your body. But I assure you, you feel no less. There
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  is a time when you get over it and you can get better with exercises
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  that we should have known since we were twenty, because also a girl twenty
• 18:18
  makes them better. We' re talking about an age when you' ve
• 18:22
  already gone through menopause, not in the movie, that is, when you
• 18:26
  ' re getting ready. There are many women who say wow and livid is
• 18:30
  fluctuating when the least, when you are left and the post there are also
• 18:34
  women, that is, it is not that each one will touch him,
• 18:37
  it is that each one lives differently and not all we have hot flashes and
• 18:41
  not all we have stay and not all you have had. And it looks
• 18:42
  like we all have to go through all that. And there are people who
• 18:45
  have and then there is another one that if you have a very serious problem,
• 18:48
  there are solutions. But, for example, well hormone treatments there is
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  or monophobia and there are out of every hundred women who could have a hormone
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  treatment and need it and that their history to the doctor allows it, which
• 19:03
  is very important, which seems to give it to you anyway, you don
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  ' t look at and history only takes five. There are ninety- five
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  women out of a hundred who could benefit from something so they don' t
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  use it and are working with hot flashes that have them martyred without being able
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  to sleep. You can imagine doing this job and all of a sudden,
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  I mean, if I figure it out, okay ask me the question and
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  suddenly your brain isn' t working exactly. Then of course, these things
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  have a solution. But since we don' t know it or we'
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  re afraid or we don' t go to the doctor or you understand,
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  we have to do the miracle work allurdes and so neither does the emotional terapia
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  man. Of course, you see, if these things work, a woman
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  who' s emotionally okay is very much shown that any symptom of enamonopausia is
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  doing better. It' s not the same as an aunt who has intense
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  hot flashes and is emotionally dusted than an aunt who has intense hot flashes and
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  knows and tells herself. This is going to pass me prayer. I breathe
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  such already the difference is what it is. The difference is how you focus
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  it exactly across the shadow of the fifties. We said at the beginning of
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  caressing the sixties already to finish, what awaits us a lot of life and
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  as good as you believe it. Supposedly, I was going to depend on
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  you This is what it is to work for you in the sense of looking
• 20:36
  for you, not just running physical, taking care of such food, but
• 20:41
  looking for new illusions, having many friends, having projects, doing things.
• 20:44
  If you don' t have one for yourself, do it for another.
• 20:45
  Be willing to look for life, don' t close your door. I
• 20:51
  say life is while you' re at it. Of course, that'
• 20:55
  s it, because your change is never better, said of everyone in the
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  world, of women. I include myself in it, in my pleasure,
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  always be classy.