Latest / HAVE FAITH LET IT BEGIN® / "Navigating Conversations with Care: Handling 'Rude' Comments" Part II

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"Navigating Conversations with Care: Handling 'Rude' Comments" Part II · HAVE FAITH LET IT BEGIN®

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  Music.
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  Have faith. Let it begin. Hello, this is Angel. And once again,
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  I want to thank everybody for tuning in.
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  This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Oh, yes, this is a day.
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  Folks, I want to talk to you today about something that I thought was pretty interesting.
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  You ever encounter somebody that you know has your best interest at heart,
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  but has a tendency to make comments that come across rude.
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  I guess you can say this is rude people part two.
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  In life, you're going to encounter people, family, friends, loved ones,
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  pardon me, who will say things because they think that they have your best interest at heart.
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  They say things because they believe that if they come out and say something
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  to you, you would automatically, just like that, change. Let me give you an example.
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  At times, I've run into people that have come up to me and said,
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  oh, well, you know, I noticed that you're looking a little bit fuller these days.
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  Just want to make sure you know, you know, you used to look really good,
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  but I mean, don't get me wrong, you still look good. Just, you know,
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  you added a couple pounds.
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  You know, most people that added a couple pounds, they look big,
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  but you're tacking on that weight not too bad.
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  Well, why don't you just come out and say that you think I look fat?
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  Why don't you just come out and say that you think i've gained weight And then
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  if you try to correct them, they take offense They'll say things like you're too sensitive.
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  You're too soft No It's not that you have to be careful and choose the right
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  words That you say to certain people you can't just assume that that person
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  is going to take that advice And feel as if oh, well, thank you. That's such a life.
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  That's a life lesson life altering words of wisdom.
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  It doesn't work that way. Yes, there are ways to say things to certain people,
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  but it's, remember, it's the expression.
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  It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
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  That expression wasn't made just because it sounded good. It's because it is what it is.
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  You have to learn to treat people with respect. In the Bible,
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  it says, you know, love your neighbor as you love yourself,
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  you have to learn that there are people that are sensitive, that there are people
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  out there that have, you know, feelings that can easily be hurt.
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  But there are some people out there that are battling diseases such as,
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  you know, weight complicated, you know, weight.
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  I can't even say the words. So I get emotional because I am a sensitive person
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  and I was trying to imply weight issues.
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  Complex that's the words I was thinking of and you know, you'll notice by the
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  way when I air these I don't edit,
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  Because when I'm talking, I just, I talk from the heart. So a lot of times,
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  you know, I'm not embarrassed for the way I speak.
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  Some people have come up to me and here's another thing. Somebody have come
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  up to me and said, you know, you should edit that out.
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  You know, when you're, you want to sound intelligent, you want to sound this
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  as, listen, that's not the point of my, of our show.
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  My, my show is designed to, I just come out with whatever is in my heart.
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  And, you know, I'm not trying to sound perfect. I'm not trying to sound intelligent.
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  I am just trying to be me. And that's who I am.
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  Henceforth, I'm taking off my seatbelt right now. So you're probably hearing
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  a lot of movement on the microphone.
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  And that's because I am at work. I get to work early each day.
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  And then I sit in the parking lot and I finish this show.
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  So getting back to what I said, you have to be careful with the way you say
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  certain things to certain people.
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  You have to remember that there are people out
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  there in this world that respect your
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  opinion some people look up to you and when
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  you say things like that you offend them you hurt them now don't get me wrong
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  if you feel that you're encountering someone that may be doing bodily harm to
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  themselves or can affect their job as well as yours now you're talking about
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  finding a time and a place to sit down with that person and saying,
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  listen, this is because I care about you.
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  I have to tell you something. And I'm telling you this because I don't want
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  to hurt your feelings, but I'm telling this because I love you and I respect you.
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  And I want you to know that this is how I feel.
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  And that works both ways. It works in one way where you express to somebody
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  that they've hurt your feelings and you would also explain to them that this
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  is something that I see that doesn't look good, doesn't seem right, doesn't sit well.
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  There are many people out there in this world that don't know how to express
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  how they feel and they do things and it comes off spiteful.
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  It comes off condescending.
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  It comes off rude.
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  I am one of those people that have been hurt and I have hurt others. Again, I am not perfect.
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  I used to tell a good friend of mine all the time, you got to do this,
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  you got to do that, you got to do this, you have to do that.
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  And I thought I was helping that person. I was wrong.
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  Because what I realized was I was hurting that person. And what I decided to do was listen.
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  And when I listened, I was able to talk to that person and treat them the way
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  they wanted to be treated, the way I wanted to be treated.
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  So all of us at one point in our lives have done it. but it's now time to,
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  as you're driving and as you're thinking about what I'm saying right now,
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  I want you to take a step back.
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  Think about all the conversations you've ever had with somebody and say to yourself,
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  have I ever hurt someone? Have I ever put them down?
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  And if you have, take the time to figure out how you want to reword it.
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  Sit down with that person and explain to them how you feel or how they made
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  you feel or even how they made.
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  I even told the gentleman, I didn't realize I was hurting you.
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  This is how this made me feel when I found out I was wrong. Have those conversations.
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  And I guarantee you, your relationships and your friendships will improve.
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  They will be in a better place.
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  And that's all I wanted to cover this morning. And this has nothing to do with
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  anything that has transpired in my life.
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  It's just something that came up to me because I had a memory.
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  And that's what happens. I get these flashbacks. My friend Brian will like the
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  fact that I actually said that right. Because I always say backflash.
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  These flashbacks that I get allow me the opportunity to speak about the shows that I air.
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  And this particular incident dealt with a person that constantly used to come in.
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  He would come into the office and he would say to me, that's a great outfit that you're wearing.
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  Too bad that the outfit doesn't fit you the way it should fit most people.
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  And I would hear that line in different ways over and over again.
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  Eventually, I had the guts to tell that person how I felt.
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  Now that person apologized and was
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  basically explaining to me at the time that he felt that the clothes I was wearing
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  were too big for my size but I took it the other way I was thinking he was saying
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  that I was wearing clothes that were that was wearing clothes that were too tight for my size.
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  So he was actually trying to pay me a compliment. In reality,
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  he didn't realize he was insulting me, at least through my eyes.
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  But that would have never changed if I didn't approach him. That would have
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  never changed if he didn't think before he spoke.
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  We're going to cover rude people a lot. And we're going to talk about different
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  scenarios and different situations.
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  Think about the people that you've encountered in life. Think about all the
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  things that you have done in your life and all the conversations that you've
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  had with other people and think about,
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  the last time you said something to a colleague friend loved one or maybe a
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  partner in a relationship we'll talk about this again have faith.
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  Music.