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SMNTY Classics: SMNTY Scares the Crap Out of You · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is any and Samantha. I'm welcome to stuff.
0:07
Speaker 1: I'd ever told your production of I Heart Radio. We'll
0:18
Speaker 1: just happens. I don't know, we're laughing at the very beginning.
0:25
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm just in a happy mood. We are officially
0:30
Speaker 1: for me anyway. I guess I know some people will
0:32
Speaker 1: get annoyed by this, but we're moving into like Halloween
0:35
Speaker 1: scary story times and Samantha and I we've already gotten started, yes,
0:41
Speaker 1: real hard. Yeah, and I have been very, very jumpy.
0:45
Speaker 1: I mean I'm always jumpy, but as of the last
0:47
Speaker 1: few days it's escalated. You're by yourself. It doesn't matter.
0:52
Speaker 1: Every time I like turn slightly, I'm like, oh, and
0:55
Speaker 1: it's just a couch that's always there. It's just the couch,
1:00
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. We've had a lot of conversations about our
1:04
Speaker 1: preferences around horror movies and things kind of in that realm.
1:09
Speaker 1: But I don't know if we've ever talked about are
1:12
Speaker 1: you like into the kind of adrenaline aspect of that, Like,
1:17
Speaker 1: do you like like skydiving or bungee jumping or things
1:21
Speaker 1: in that nature. Haunted houses are kind of not your thing. No,
1:26
Speaker 1: so haunted houses. I find it hilarious to watch other
1:30
Speaker 1: people being scared, but if because my initial reaction is
1:34
Speaker 1: to punch and kick, so I feel like I would
1:36
Speaker 1: get in trouble. Yeah, because the first time something pops
1:40
Speaker 1: out at me, You're gonna get a crotch kick and
1:43
Speaker 1: I'm gonna feel bad about it later, and or I'm
1:46
Speaker 1: just gonna lay on the floor. But when it comes
1:49
Speaker 1: to other things, I would like to say yes, but
1:53
Speaker 1: I've never gotten the opportunity. I swore I was gonna
1:55
Speaker 1: skydive one day, but I haven't yet. And I do
2:00
Speaker 1: like some good rollercoaster rides as long as they don't
2:02
Speaker 1: make me nauseous and sick. But I enjoy that to
2:05
Speaker 1: the screaming and the craziness of that. But so kind
2:10
Speaker 1: of would be my answer. I'm not an adrenaline junkie
2:15
Speaker 1: at all, but I would like to think that I
2:18
Speaker 1: would eventually like to do some of those things, but
2:22
Speaker 1: I haven't. Yeah, yeah, I mean they're definitely expensive and
2:27
Speaker 1: kind of scary. I do like I liked I've only
2:31
Speaker 1: skydived once, and I really liked that my bungee jumped.
2:36
Speaker 1: I've done a bunch of that kind of stuff and
2:38
Speaker 1: I really really enjoy it. I do get scared. I
2:40
Speaker 1: will say that, like, perhaps if I wasn't such a
2:43
Speaker 1: proud person, I might have backed out of bungee jumping.
2:47
Speaker 1: In particular, I was really scared of bungee me sounds
2:50
Speaker 1: a lot worse than Yeah. I imagined that too, Yeah,
2:55
Speaker 1: just because it's I kept thinking of the rope breaking
2:58
Speaker 1: and whether it was too and then I was like,
3:00
Speaker 1: you have to take the step off, whereas like skydiving,
3:04
Speaker 1: I did it tandem. So I was like, attached to
3:06
Speaker 1: this person and they're going to get out no matter what,
3:08
Speaker 1: so I might as well get on right. Yeah, I
3:13
Speaker 1: do really like it. A lot of people would describe
3:15
Speaker 1: me as somebody who really craves adrenaline and excitement, and
3:19
Speaker 1: I think that is a part of the reason I
3:21
Speaker 1: like horror movies. And I also think that might be
3:23
Speaker 1: why I like like strong emotions in general, because I
3:25
Speaker 1: kind have a similar reaction of just like getting your
3:27
Speaker 1: heart pumping and feeling this like emotion. I love roller coasters,
3:33
Speaker 1: but I do still get scared. I will say that
3:35
Speaker 1: I'm not without fear, which I think it's part of
3:39
Speaker 1: the whole thing. But we wanted to bring back this
3:42
Speaker 1: episode that we did about kind of all of this
3:46
Speaker 1: women in Fear and why some women like it and
3:49
Speaker 1: why some some don't. Um, so please enjoy. Hey, this
3:57
Speaker 1: is Annie. Hey, hey Samantha, and welcome to stuff on
3:59
Speaker 1: over to to your protection of I hear India's has
4:01
Speaker 1: to work. I have to switch it up. I do too.
4:14
Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like I'm the robotic voice when you
4:17
Speaker 1: call and trying. You're just trying to speak to a
4:20
Speaker 1: real person. I am a real person. You are a
4:22
Speaker 1: real person. Um. I have those moments I'm like, oh,
4:24
Speaker 1: people can forget that I'm actually here with Annie. So
4:27
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do a big introduction. You should get bigger
4:31
Speaker 1: and bigger. Eventually it'll be a whole performance, a whole stick.
4:38
Speaker 1: Today we are talking about fear. Yes, because it is.
4:46
Speaker 1: I probably don't have to say. It's one of my
4:47
Speaker 1: favorite times of a year, fall and specifically Halloween, and
4:51
Speaker 1: today is a beautiful fall day. I realized I needed
4:55
Speaker 1: a sweater, and at the one time it's finally happening,
4:58
Speaker 1: I don't have a sweater. Oh no, I know. I
5:01
Speaker 1: debated it for a long time, but I walked to
5:03
Speaker 1: work and I was like, you're Okay, you'll warm up.
5:05
Speaker 1: It's not that cool yet, but it's getting there, which
5:07
Speaker 1: is good because I have all my haunted houses I
5:09
Speaker 1: have to do, and I don't like doing them when
5:10
Speaker 1: it's hot outside. This is a very specific first world
5:14
Speaker 1: problem for me. Um, and I am trying to keep
5:17
Speaker 1: this relegated to a month ish all these episodes around
5:21
Speaker 1: fear and horror movies and stuff, but difficult anyway, trigger
5:25
Speaker 1: warning before we get into it, brief mentions of rape
5:28
Speaker 1: and sexual assault. And I did want to start by saying, um,
5:33
Speaker 1: because we're talking about gender differences in fear and how expressive,
5:37
Speaker 1: what scares us, how we feel it, and how it
5:38
Speaker 1: can be weaponized. Um. When you get the question like,
5:42
Speaker 1: do you have any quote silly fears, Samantha, Um, oh yeah,
5:47
Speaker 1: I do have silly fears. You already know a few
5:49
Speaker 1: of them, um, which include I have a weird thing
5:52
Speaker 1: about polka dots. I can't stand them, irregular shapes with
5:56
Speaker 1: thoughts and such. I don't know, like it makes my
5:58
Speaker 1: skin crawl when I look at it. It's a thing.
6:02
Speaker 1: I know someone else who has that. I felt validated
6:04
Speaker 1: and I forgot what it's called. And I know a
6:05
Speaker 1: listeners gonna let me know what it is. Um, because
6:08
Speaker 1: I was so validated that I told my mother about it.
6:11
Speaker 1: Because when I was in like fifth sixth grade, UM,
6:15
Speaker 1: my grandmother had bought me this really cute outfit. But
6:17
Speaker 1: I had dolts all over that and I would refuse
6:19
Speaker 1: to wear it. I kept telling my mom about how
6:21
Speaker 1: much I hated it. Of course I was made to
6:22
Speaker 1: wear it because my grandmother bought it for me. I
6:25
Speaker 1: have to make everybody happy. And in my little scrap book,
6:28
Speaker 1: she remembered that little quote about the clothing I wore
6:31
Speaker 1: and put it above her, above me in these little
6:33
Speaker 1: If you look at scrap books, you know all the
6:35
Speaker 1: things like that as a quote. And after I told
6:38
Speaker 1: my mom it's a real thing, I felt really validated.
6:42
Speaker 1: I just want to say that. And then, of course
6:44
Speaker 1: you know about the little statues or like wax figures
6:47
Speaker 1: type of thing, and it can be anything. If it's large.
6:50
Speaker 1: It scares the hell out of me because I'm sure
6:52
Speaker 1: at any moment they're gonna come to life and get me.
6:55
Speaker 1: And I don't know, maybe because I watched like the
6:56
Speaker 1: House of Wax in which they come to life and
6:59
Speaker 1: get them. Yeah, just a reminder like stuff like that, Nope, nope, nope, nope,
7:05
Speaker 1: which I told you told me that fear, and then
7:07
Speaker 1: I immediately forgotten. Had you write a hatted mansion? And
7:11
Speaker 1: then the Harry Potter right A Forbidden Journey? You laughed
7:14
Speaker 1: for so hard, so long, even a month after the fact,
7:17
Speaker 1: I think you were still you were still laughing. I
7:20
Speaker 1: feel bad, but it was so funny. You were shouting
7:23
Speaker 1: and everyone look. I get into the fight or flight,
7:27
Speaker 1: and I know I'm not fast enough, so I'm ready
7:29
Speaker 1: to fight. Just oh, I don't know, I don't know.
7:33
Speaker 1: That was a lot of that. It was funny. I
7:35
Speaker 1: feel like you have to have. The reason I asked
7:37
Speaker 1: this is because I feel like when someone asks you
7:40
Speaker 1: what are you afraid of, most of the time they're
7:42
Speaker 1: really asking is what is your fun and and socially
7:46
Speaker 1: acceptable answer that we can kind of laugh at or
7:49
Speaker 1: joke about, because if you think about it, um, if
7:53
Speaker 1: you think about the real fears that probably a lot
7:55
Speaker 1: of us have, um, you don't necessarily want to share
7:59
Speaker 1: those her voice host in your everyday conversation. So I
8:02
Speaker 1: feel like there's the two levels. There's the ones that
8:04
Speaker 1: are kind of funny, even if they're not funny to you,
8:08
Speaker 1: but as long as it's not like level of phobia.
8:10
Speaker 1: But it's just this thing I have that isn't quite
8:13
Speaker 1: what we would say normal fear. And then you have
8:15
Speaker 1: like your your real ones, the ones that keep you
8:18
Speaker 1: up at night, that are dark and you don't want
8:20
Speaker 1: to talk about, which is how a lot of horms have.
8:22
Speaker 1: We start as they talk about a fear, or something
8:24
Speaker 1: happens where that fear is revealed, and that's usually how
8:27
Speaker 1: they die. Look on her face is quite pained. I
8:31
Speaker 1: just want to say, why, why do we do this
8:34
Speaker 1: for ourselves? We're actually gonna be talking about that, um.
8:38
Speaker 1: And before we go into this, I did want to
8:40
Speaker 1: say it's always worth remembering equality and not being the same,
8:45
Speaker 1: because I feel like a lot of UM. A lot
8:47
Speaker 1: of times when we talk about biological differences or sex differences,
8:50
Speaker 1: people sometimes use that to reinforce stereotypes have been long
8:55
Speaker 1: used to keep a particular group down. So I that's
9:00
Speaker 1: something I have a real tension about, but set that
9:04
Speaker 1: at the top, okay, definition time. According to Miriam Webster's Dictionary,
9:09
Speaker 1: fear is quote an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by
9:13
Speaker 1: anticipation or awareness of danger. It is an evolutionary response
9:17
Speaker 1: to stress in order to protect ourselves from danger, to
9:21
Speaker 1: keep us alive basically, which is great sea lion or
9:26
Speaker 1: whatever it is, I'm gonna play dead. I don't know
9:30
Speaker 1: why I've given so much thought about what I'm gonna
9:32
Speaker 1: do if I ever encounter a lion, but I have
9:36
Speaker 1: I think about that with like bears. Well that was
9:39
Speaker 1: that too, so I mean it's not uncommon, so I
9:42
Speaker 1: would would just apply that to all the things, all
9:44
Speaker 1: the giant animals trying to get me. I have encountered
9:47
Speaker 1: a bear in the wild and I just kind of
9:50
Speaker 1: kept running and it was okay, right. Um. I think
9:54
Speaker 1: I told about the bore of the wild hog that
9:57
Speaker 1: we hard in the woods, and we were like run, yeah,
10:01
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, Well now you know how you'll react.
10:05
Speaker 1: Um Again, I think we've we've definitely brought this up
10:08
Speaker 1: before now that we don't necessarily have to fear being
10:11
Speaker 1: eaten by tigers on a regular basis in the wild anymore. Um,
10:14
Speaker 1: fear can be triggered in our modern lives by things
10:16
Speaker 1: called paper tigers. And this can be you know, answering
10:20
Speaker 1: emails or meetings or things that you fear that really
10:23
Speaker 1: don't pose a danger, like a life or death situation.
10:29
Speaker 1: Phobias take the fear response, magnify it, and pointed at
10:33
Speaker 1: something that generally presents no real danger. Over time, people
10:38
Speaker 1: with phobias begin to fear the fear associated with that phobia,
10:42
Speaker 1: and it exacerbates the whole situation gets worse and worse. Yeah,
10:45
Speaker 1: I guess my poka dot thing would be more of
10:47
Speaker 1: a phobia. Should I not wear polka dots when I'm
10:50
Speaker 1: around you? You're okay, I've gotten myself better that I
10:52
Speaker 1: don't focus on it, but like sometimes when I'm surprised
10:55
Speaker 1: by it and just look, yeah, surprise, polka dots. Surprise.
11:00
Speaker 1: Or there's that weird drink that has likes and such,
11:02
Speaker 1: and so you see like like like that, oh no,
11:07
Speaker 1: like this thing about it makes me kind of nuxious.
11:09
Speaker 1: So that's it. But people with anxiety disorders can experience
11:12
Speaker 1: something similar but less extreme, becoming afraid of the feary
11:16
Speaker 1: action that they may experience that social interactions and thus
11:19
Speaker 1: avoiding the social interaction altogether. And that's definitely something I
11:23
Speaker 1: deal with. I will avoid a situation if I think
11:25
Speaker 1: will be uncomfortable or really anxious. And so if I
11:28
Speaker 1: don't have a way to plan, like to know where
11:31
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to park, but nowhere to come in, no
11:34
Speaker 1: what is expected of me, I'm probably gonna say no.
11:37
Speaker 1: And I know you, I've asked you many times. So
11:41
Speaker 1: when you go to this, do you do this, this
11:43
Speaker 1: and this? And that is part of my preparation because
11:45
Speaker 1: if I don't know, and I've gotten much better about it,
11:48
Speaker 1: But when I was younger, I'll be like, no, I'm good.
11:50
Speaker 1: I'll just stay at home because I would have a
11:52
Speaker 1: panic attack almost right before that situation, so to avoid
11:56
Speaker 1: it all together, like hell, no, I'm good, I'm good.
11:59
Speaker 1: I have a lot of friends who are like that
12:01
Speaker 1: and I feel similar ways. But I'm also extremely um
12:07
Speaker 1: competitive with myself, and so I'll be like, you're going,
12:12
Speaker 1: and he's like, please, I am perfectly saying. Individual who
12:17
Speaker 1: talks to myself quite a lot, that's actually really good.
12:20
Speaker 1: You're talking it out. Yeah, I'm embarrassed when people over
12:23
Speaker 1: here it oh me too. I did that at a
12:25
Speaker 1: public restroom recently, where I was talking to myself about
12:28
Speaker 1: the way I looked and like, why did I do
12:30
Speaker 1: this to myself? And so walked in and I'm just like,
12:34
Speaker 1: it's very embarrassing, especially depending on what you were talking about.
12:39
Speaker 1: Oh boy. Um. And there are certain type of safe
12:43
Speaker 1: fears some people really dig, like horror movies, survival, horror
12:46
Speaker 1: video games, haunted houses. I feel like I'm totally describing
12:49
Speaker 1: myself around. Horror movies make billions of dollars a year.
12:53
Speaker 1: There are five thousand haunt houses that operate each year
12:56
Speaker 1: for the Halloween season in the US, So it's a
12:58
Speaker 1: big industry scaring people, right, scaring themselves. I will say,
13:01
Speaker 1: I really enjoy scaring other people. So I am that
13:05
Speaker 1: person that will unless someone tells me, like you, I
13:07
Speaker 1: tried not to do that to you because you're easily scared.
13:10
Speaker 1: Like I walk to you in a public space and
13:13
Speaker 1: you jump, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm just
13:15
Speaker 1: I'm just walking. But it is really fun to kind
13:19
Speaker 1: of like get somebody every now and again, just see
13:21
Speaker 1: the reaction people do that to me, and initially I
13:25
Speaker 1: get like what and then I laugh as well. But
13:28
Speaker 1: haunted houses, no, no, no, no no no no no
13:32
Speaker 1: no no no. Because I'm my card, You're not scheduling
13:36
Speaker 1: all of my Yeah, I absolutely no because I think
13:39
Speaker 1: you talked to me about it before. I was like, no,
13:41
Speaker 1: I don't need people to touch me and chase me,
13:42
Speaker 1: to look at me, come at me. I don't know.
13:44
Speaker 1: Thank you though, that's fair, that's totally fair. And I
13:48
Speaker 1: but I loved it and I won't Yes, but I
13:51
Speaker 1: love horror movies. But that's also a distance from me,
13:54
Speaker 1: and they're not coming necessarily at me. Right. Um, I
13:57
Speaker 1: find that I'm really good at If I can't sleep
14:00
Speaker 1: the night after a horror movie, I just tell myself,
14:03
Speaker 1: if you hadn't watched that horror movie, you would have
14:06
Speaker 1: slept fine. Like, this is a concern you created for yourself,
14:09
Speaker 1: and usually that's it. That's all I needed. Um. Some
14:13
Speaker 1: psychologists and researchers suggests that, um, this whole liking be
14:18
Speaker 1: scared or liking hot houses and horror movies is an
14:20
Speaker 1: evolutionary advantage. The theory goes that for the same reason
14:24
Speaker 1: we like knowing gossip on those around us and are
14:26
Speaker 1: fascinated with people who have survived under extraordinary circumstances, we
14:31
Speaker 1: like things like haunted houses or horror movies because we're
14:35
Speaker 1: like a partner of our brain thinks we're learning from
14:38
Speaker 1: others how to survive and get ahead. Um, Like, if
14:43
Speaker 1: I was in this situation with this ghost, don't do
14:46
Speaker 1: what that person did because she didn't survive things like that.
14:50
Speaker 1: Fear can also trigger the same chemical reactions as happiness
14:54
Speaker 1: does or excitement does in our brains. So being afraid
14:58
Speaker 1: under certain conditions and be fun for some people, the
15:02
Speaker 1: so called adrenaline junkies, for example, And I would call
15:05
Speaker 1: myself an adrenaline junkie. Light or maybe medium. I don't know.
15:10
Speaker 1: I do like skydiving and bungee jumping, but I'm not
15:12
Speaker 1: doing the more extremely right kind of also extremely clumsy.
15:19
Speaker 1: I think I've just had to accept not for you,
15:23
Speaker 1: me too. So some research indicates that fear may be
15:26
Speaker 1: related to the body's physical response to something like a
15:29
Speaker 1: fear of heights, but I have something to do with
15:31
Speaker 1: the dizzy noess of it all. Um or other fears
15:34
Speaker 1: are related to past trauma and perhaps even generational trauma,
15:38
Speaker 1: which I've definitely seen that as a thing. There's been
15:40
Speaker 1: a lot more science and research into that lately. Fear
15:45
Speaker 1: makes us do all kinds of things on a national level,
15:48
Speaker 1: like country wise restrict our borders, for instance, or enact
15:52
Speaker 1: policies that are unnecessary and perhaps detrimental. We even talked
15:58
Speaker 1: about this before, about how we were known to make
16:01
Speaker 1: policies based on perceived fears based on the type of
16:04
Speaker 1: media we consume and the representations that we see in
16:07
Speaker 1: that media. We're going to come back to that a
16:08
Speaker 1: little bit. This is one of the reasons that diverse
16:11
Speaker 1: portrayals in our media really matters, right. Chapman University recently
16:15
Speaker 1: conducted a survey on what exactly scares Americans, and what
16:19
Speaker 1: they found were things like walking home alone at night,
16:21
Speaker 1: being involved in a mess, shooting, identity theft, and internet
16:25
Speaker 1: safety or lack thereof, and the classic public speaking. And
16:29
Speaker 1: for me, oh my goodness, yes, So one of the
16:33
Speaker 1: things that you and I are having to do, what
16:34
Speaker 1: we're having to do is kid and panels talk to people.
16:38
Speaker 1: And I can do the one on one thing perfectly. Well, Um,
16:41
Speaker 1: when I get in front of someone, I kind of
16:44
Speaker 1: block it out and I forget what has happened. So
16:46
Speaker 1: essentially I black out on stage, like I have no
16:50
Speaker 1: idea what the hell I just said. I really hope
16:51
Speaker 1: it was cohesive. Though I've done that before too, I've
16:54
Speaker 1: only done it once, but after I had to give
16:57
Speaker 1: this presentation in college, an hour and a half long
17:02
Speaker 1: presentation in French on heart replacement in medical stuff. And
17:09
Speaker 1: I afterwards people were asking questions about it, and I said, I,
17:12
Speaker 1: I literally can't remember anything that's happened. Right. And then
17:16
Speaker 1: on top of that, today I just had to do
17:18
Speaker 1: a training about uh security of your software, internet security stuff,
17:24
Speaker 1: and and we talked about ransomware and now where and
17:27
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, oh, oh, and so now I'm
17:30
Speaker 1: super scared. O. No. Yeah, I've actually watched a lot
17:33
Speaker 1: of horror movies recently that have to do with cybersecurity,
17:36
Speaker 1: and you'd you might think, how in the world can
17:38
Speaker 1: that be a horror movie. It can be that I
17:40
Speaker 1: found them very disturbing. Um. And uh, the mass shooting
17:45
Speaker 1: thing um is something I've definitely experienced where any time
17:50
Speaker 1: I go to a big event or even just a
17:51
Speaker 1: movie theater, I think about it. You start looking at exits,
17:54
Speaker 1: the exits, and I sit really low on my seat. Um,
17:57
Speaker 1: which is really really sad. If we break down those
18:02
Speaker 1: fears that that survey by political party, people who identified
18:06
Speaker 1: as Democrats were more likely to report fears around man
18:09
Speaker 1: made disasters, pollution, and personal safety. Republicans, on the other hand,
18:14
Speaker 1: were more likely to give answers like immigrants government and
18:17
Speaker 1: quote today's US. Hello those liberals. I guess I'm not
18:25
Speaker 1: really a youth of today, but still I was told
18:29
Speaker 1: I was ruining the country, so you know, there's that congrats.
18:34
Speaker 1: I don't really know. Um. The survey also found a
18:37
Speaker 1: correlation between people who watch true crime and the number
18:40
Speaker 1: of fears that they held, So that makes perfect sense.
18:44
Speaker 1: I love true crime things though, like gay Land and Snap,
18:47
Speaker 1: but I think I go a bit deeper with trying
18:49
Speaker 1: to die sight whether the individuals are being represented fairly.
18:52
Speaker 1: So I'm a weirdo. So I come from that social
18:54
Speaker 1: social work, social justice perspective in that way of like,
18:58
Speaker 1: no wonder they're here? Are this is why? And this
19:00
Speaker 1: kind of makes sense. Not that anybody deserves to die,
19:03
Speaker 1: now that anybody should be in a gang. I'm just
19:05
Speaker 1: saying the aftermath of what happens, You're like, Oh, and
19:09
Speaker 1: also where they truly represented. I'm an odd one on
19:13
Speaker 1: that one, So it's more so like how can I
19:15
Speaker 1: fix them rights fairsting. I think that says a lot
19:20
Speaker 1: about you. A lot of fears have to do more
19:24
Speaker 1: with a lack of control, like you're far more likely
19:28
Speaker 1: to die in a car crash, but a car is
19:31
Speaker 1: a known thing in theory, like you know how to
19:33
Speaker 1: operate one, You've seen them all the time, um, and
19:35
Speaker 1: that is in your control, as opposed to an airplane
19:38
Speaker 1: where you get on it and sort of surrender right
19:42
Speaker 1: to the pilot and you don't really know how it works,
19:45
Speaker 1: there's nothing you can do about it. Fear consists of
19:50
Speaker 1: two responses, the biochemical and the emotional. The biochemical reaction
19:55
Speaker 1: is something that induces fear, are things like increased heart
19:58
Speaker 1: rate and sweating, high Drenn levels, blacking out, um, fight
20:03
Speaker 1: or flight. Everyone experiences pretty much the same biochemical responses,
20:08
Speaker 1: but the emotional response is a personal one, like adrenaline
20:12
Speaker 1: Junkies are people who avoid horror movies at all cost
20:15
Speaker 1: um and there are some interesting gender differences. So in
20:19
Speaker 1: the late nineteen eighties, researchers at Columbia University conducted a
20:23
Speaker 1: study looking into gender differences when it comes to fear.
20:26
Speaker 1: They gave the participants a writing prompt, a scary story
20:29
Speaker 1: about death. What they found was that in general, men
20:32
Speaker 1: wrote a story about their own death, while women wrote
20:34
Speaker 1: about the death of a loved one, a spouse, a child,
20:36
Speaker 1: or a family member. In the nine study found that
20:40
Speaker 1: of the seven four participants, women were almost twice as
20:43
Speaker 1: likely as men to meet the criteria for a phobia
20:45
Speaker 1: and almost four times as likely to meet the criteria
20:48
Speaker 1: for multiple phobias. Women were also twice as likely to
20:51
Speaker 1: have situational phobias like darkness and flying. Women are also
20:55
Speaker 1: more likely to develop anxiety disorders, and that's something that
20:58
Speaker 1: we've talked about before, and there has been a lot
21:01
Speaker 1: of research into why that is, and we're going to
21:03
Speaker 1: talk about some of that research. But first we're going
21:06
Speaker 1: to stop for a quick break for word from our sponsor,
21:21
Speaker 1: and we're back. Thank you sponsoring. Until our more modern history,
21:26
Speaker 1: being fearful and dependent was a part of feminine charm.
21:31
Speaker 1: It was a byproduct of women being kept in the
21:33
Speaker 1: dark when it came to the workings of society, of
21:36
Speaker 1: not being able to own anything, of being classified as
21:40
Speaker 1: property of men, and that came with the feeling of powerlessness,
21:44
Speaker 1: a state of constant worry that was acceptable and even
21:48
Speaker 1: expected of women. Right So boys are conditioned not to
21:52
Speaker 1: show fear, while girls are not. Women are conditioned to
21:55
Speaker 1: be more fearful than men. Recent research has found that
21:58
Speaker 1: men are better at concealing fear the women, and that
22:00
Speaker 1: they might be feeling in less of a cribal way
22:03
Speaker 1: than women. And I personally remember getting so frustrated hearing
22:09
Speaker 1: the different expectations all my brothers compared to me. Are
22:13
Speaker 1: just the constant question of is that safe? Shouldn't you
22:16
Speaker 1: take a man with you? Because of things like this,
22:19
Speaker 1: it makes sense to me that women in general hold
22:22
Speaker 1: more fears and anxieties. We were reminded of her vulnerability
22:26
Speaker 1: due to our gender. Every day we have to think
22:28
Speaker 1: about our safety and ways men don't. It's always in
22:32
Speaker 1: the back of our minds. We see it in the
22:34
Speaker 1: news and we hear it from our friends and family.
22:37
Speaker 1: Every woman has a story of something terrible happening to
22:41
Speaker 1: themselves or a woman that they know right. They even
22:44
Speaker 1: had a little hashtag for people to share stories of
22:47
Speaker 1: what it's like to run alone women it's like to
22:50
Speaker 1: run alone, or why they fear running alone or running
22:52
Speaker 1: at night, all of those different things, and unfortunately that
22:56
Speaker 1: is something that we are ingrained with as well as
22:58
Speaker 1: the fact that the incidents that happen once again show
23:01
Speaker 1: us that we're not protected, right, That's what it feels
23:03
Speaker 1: like anyway. There is, of course the famous quote, and
23:08
Speaker 1: this is paraphrasing. Men are afraid women will laugh at them.
23:10
Speaker 1: Women are afraid of being raped and killed. When asked
23:13
Speaker 1: what they are afraid of, women are more likely to
23:16
Speaker 1: have specifics. Men are more likely to say something like
23:19
Speaker 1: looking stupid if asked how someone protects ourselves or oneselves.
23:24
Speaker 1: Women have specifics. Men aren't sure what you mean. And
23:27
Speaker 1: this is generalizations from an informal study conducted by the
23:30
Speaker 1: PBS documentarians behind No Safe Place. One study found that
23:35
Speaker 1: women reported higher arresting fear levels than men, even when
23:38
Speaker 1: physiological science were not present. Another study found that we
23:42
Speaker 1: as a society tend to over report anxiety in women.
23:45
Speaker 1: Given the same level of emotional response between male and
23:48
Speaker 1: female participants, the female participants were more likely to rate
23:51
Speaker 1: themselves as more emotional. Outsiders rate them as more emotional
23:56
Speaker 1: as well, again the same response um. This calls back
24:01
Speaker 1: to our episode on women not being believed when they
24:03
Speaker 1: report symptoms of a heart attack, instead being told, you
24:06
Speaker 1: know you're stressed, to calm down right when confronted with
24:10
Speaker 1: something that triggers a fear response, Both men and women
24:13
Speaker 1: have similar reactions grease, heart rate, breathing, muscle tension, and
24:16
Speaker 1: blood pressure. In other words, yes, that that biochemical response
24:19
Speaker 1: we're talking about earlier, the fight or fight response. However,
24:22
Speaker 1: according to researchers out of U c l A, women
24:26
Speaker 1: have additional unique response called tend and befriends. I was
24:31
Speaker 1: gonna say, didn't They also add freeze, fight, fight, fight,
24:35
Speaker 1: flight and freeze as a part of the responses. Now, yeah,
24:38
Speaker 1: I think so, Yeah, which is could be the tend
24:41
Speaker 1: and be friend? Oh God, what do I do if
24:44
Speaker 1: I'm nice to you or we're gonna be Okay? Basically,
24:48
Speaker 1: tending be friend is a need to protect um, the woman,
24:52
Speaker 1: herself and any children she may have. Oxytocin and reprotective
24:56
Speaker 1: hormones play a role in it. Um. It makes women
24:59
Speaker 1: more likely to seek out others to help them. Men
25:02
Speaker 1: have a more marked fight our flight response. And this
25:07
Speaker 1: brings us to the media, because we did want to
25:10
Speaker 1: come back and talk about the role of media plays
25:12
Speaker 1: and all of this because fear betrayals and fearmongering, they
25:16
Speaker 1: have major consequences. Let's talk about the news because exaggerating
25:22
Speaker 1: the dangers we face in the news is something that
25:24
Speaker 1: psychologists have looked a lot into and warned against. This
25:27
Speaker 1: is frequently called if it bleeds, it leads, so you're
25:31
Speaker 1: more violent stories. If you paint them particularly grizzly, people
25:36
Speaker 1: are more likely to tune in again. Kind of going
25:39
Speaker 1: back to that thing we said earlier, where your brain
25:41
Speaker 1: is like if this happens to me, I can survive?
25:44
Speaker 1: Or how what should I avoid to not survive? First,
25:48
Speaker 1: the news, by nature is news. It's it's something that happened.
25:52
Speaker 1: And generally bad news and good news happen um and
25:56
Speaker 1: are reported on very differently UM. One example I've seen
25:59
Speaker 1: is like good news is on a longer time frame,
26:03
Speaker 1: so if life expectancy is going up, you might not
26:07
Speaker 1: see that until enough research has been done or until
26:10
Speaker 1: enough time has passed, whereas bad news is generally something
26:14
Speaker 1: has happened and it is bad right um. Thanks to
26:18
Speaker 1: something psychologists called the availability heuristic, people estimate how often
26:22
Speaker 1: something happens based on how readily we think we can
26:25
Speaker 1: think of something similar. So if we see more bad
26:28
Speaker 1: news than good news, will think more bad things happen
26:31
Speaker 1: as opposed to good things. Things like airplane crashes and
26:35
Speaker 1: stark attacks make the news when compared to more boring
26:39
Speaker 1: in quotes deaths, so we think they happen more than
26:42
Speaker 1: they do and we fear them more than perhaps we
26:45
Speaker 1: should write. And according to data, news in general has
26:49
Speaker 1: gotten more negative since the nineteen nineties all over the world.
26:52
Speaker 1: For people who consume a lot of news, this watched
26:54
Speaker 1: their worldview. The most well known example is an increased
26:57
Speaker 1: fee of crime, even the crime rights have still been dropping. Yeah,
27:01
Speaker 1: and I know this sounds like we're coming out against
27:05
Speaker 1: the news or not. I have somebody who I consume
27:07
Speaker 1: a lot of news, but I do think there's value
27:09
Speaker 1: in being, you know, taking a step back, right. I
27:12
Speaker 1: won't watch the news. I yeah, it's it's rough. The
27:15
Speaker 1: thing I like to do is go through some types
27:18
Speaker 1: of headlines to pick and choose so I can read
27:20
Speaker 1: it and then go on with it. Um. But I
27:24
Speaker 1: know several people who just have Fox News on repeat,
27:29
Speaker 1: and and my mother actually specifically said I have to
27:32
Speaker 1: stop watching Fox News. She said that to me at
27:35
Speaker 1: one point when we got into a really big argument,
27:37
Speaker 1: and I was like, huh, so you know that it
27:40
Speaker 1: is an acknowledgement and what you hear and just being
27:44
Speaker 1: consumed by that completely makes a whole different perspective happen
27:48
Speaker 1: or your world being very tainted by that perspective, yeah,
27:52
Speaker 1: not tainted, or at least influence influence Yeah. I read
27:56
Speaker 1: a piece recently on UM the rise of comedians kind
28:03
Speaker 1: of being where people get the news because it's an
28:07
Speaker 1: easier way to digest it. It's a less painful way.
28:11
Speaker 1: Um in the rise of like satirical news shows. Some
28:14
Speaker 1: journalists proposed that this whole increasing negativity of the news
28:19
Speaker 1: in part has led to President Trump, not the usual subjects,
28:24
Speaker 1: as you're probably thinking, but the more relentless blanket of
28:27
Speaker 1: cynicism that makes people watching the news feel that incremental
28:31
Speaker 1: systemic change is impossible, like if everything's bad, blow up
28:35
Speaker 1: the system right. Essentially, Trump weaponizes fear all the time,
28:41
Speaker 1: and his integration speech he repeated false claims about crime
28:44
Speaker 1: rates and actually used the phrase American carnage. Studies and
28:49
Speaker 1: surveys have found that this is incredibly effectively effective and
28:53
Speaker 1: not remember he would use specific examples of, um, someone
28:57
Speaker 1: who may be trying to get egal status, and we'll
29:01
Speaker 1: talk about any of the criminal records and specifically highlight
29:05
Speaker 1: that and then play that repeatedly, saying this is what's
29:07
Speaker 1: coming into our country. Even called them all rapists and
29:10
Speaker 1: drug dealers if I remember correctly, Um, so absolutely, and
29:13
Speaker 1: it works. I have I've had that excuse paraded back
29:17
Speaker 1: to me as to why immigration is so important. Um.
29:21
Speaker 1: But you can also be used to persuade us to
29:23
Speaker 1: give up certain rights or privacy, which is what I
29:26
Speaker 1: learned today as I was doing my little training that
29:28
Speaker 1: I was telling you about that one of the things
29:30
Speaker 1: that they do is tell you you're about to be
29:33
Speaker 1: arrested for something, or you're going to get negative for something.
29:36
Speaker 1: You better contact us immediately or you will be deemed
29:39
Speaker 1: And this is essentially ransom ransomware, ransomware, ransomware or malware.
29:43
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I've never clicked on those because I
29:46
Speaker 1: don't pay attention. In the earliest days of the Internet,
29:50
Speaker 1: I got a ransomware that turned out to be really
29:54
Speaker 1: hilarious because it didn't work. But I got a message,
30:00
Speaker 1: uh my MSN and it was like, you have twenty
30:06
Speaker 1: four hours to get me all of this stuff. I'm
30:09
Speaker 1: gonna tell et everything from your computer, and I just
30:11
Speaker 1: forgot about it. Not even that's even better, you just
30:16
Speaker 1: forgot I totally forgot Um, hopefully that didn't have consequences
30:21
Speaker 1: that I'm okay, you seem to be doing. Okay me
30:25
Speaker 1: mentioning it is going to trigger something from the whole desktop. Um,
30:31
Speaker 1: but yeah, kind of going off of that of fear
30:34
Speaker 1: being used to get us to give up certain rights
30:37
Speaker 1: September eleven. After September eleven, two thousand one, fear fed
30:42
Speaker 1: in part by the news media led to increased racism
30:45
Speaker 1: and profiling of Muslim Americans. The overrepresentation of black men
30:51
Speaker 1: as criminals and particularly violent criminals in our news um,
30:55
Speaker 1: and the more intimidating language use around those crimes as
30:58
Speaker 1: opposed to similar crimes committed by white men, contributes to
31:01
Speaker 1: a society that racializes crime. What people think a criminal
31:04
Speaker 1: quote looks like. As we've seen, this can be life,
31:08
Speaker 1: her death when it comes to police shootings of black people.
31:11
Speaker 1: And obviously the issue is bigger than that and involves
31:13
Speaker 1: a lot of other pieces, but this is a part
31:15
Speaker 1: of it, exactly. And I know there was a lot
31:17
Speaker 1: of conversation about the pictures that are posted um of
31:21
Speaker 1: victims versus uh, black victims versus white victims, or black
31:25
Speaker 1: perpetrators versus white propetorians, and in the way that makes
31:29
Speaker 1: them look as we know that. It definitely puts a
31:32
Speaker 1: specific stereotype and an assumption of why they died or
31:36
Speaker 1: how they died, which is unfortunate itself. So from four
31:42
Speaker 1: one study found that sixties six percent of the low
31:44
Speaker 1: amount of time allotted to the Latin XT folks involved
31:46
Speaker 1: stories of crimes or immigration. Yeah, so we're not talking
31:51
Speaker 1: about them often in the news issues around Latin X folks,
31:54
Speaker 1: but when we are sixty six percent at the time,
31:57
Speaker 1: it's a Grimer integration. One study from twelve found that
32:00
Speaker 1: after being exposed to as little as one minute of
32:03
Speaker 1: negative news about the Latino community, participants were much more
32:06
Speaker 1: likely trade members of that community as stupid, even given
32:10
Speaker 1: a general positive outlook on the community before watching the
32:13
Speaker 1: news club right. This again can lead to real life
32:17
Speaker 1: policies that are fear based, ineffective, and damaging, like zero
32:21
Speaker 1: tolerance at the border. And then black offenders are three
32:24
Speaker 1: point nine times likelier to receive the death penalty when
32:27
Speaker 1: compared to the offenders of other races who committed similar crimes,
32:31
Speaker 1: and in courtrooms, black defendants receive an average of nineteen
32:34
Speaker 1: point one percent longer sentence than white defendants who committed
32:38
Speaker 1: a comparable crime. Some researchers believe that a piece of
32:41
Speaker 1: this is the racialized fearmongering and our news media. And
32:44
Speaker 1: even just an example of um, what happened recently was
32:48
Speaker 1: the young black man who went to jail from missing
32:50
Speaker 1: joy duty for ten ten days. Yeah, and then we
32:54
Speaker 1: have Felicia Hoffman of a wealthy white woman went to jail.
32:57
Speaker 1: What twelve days for bribing and doing legal things to
33:01
Speaker 1: get her child into a privileged college. Is just kind
33:03
Speaker 1: of like what you have? You have one that is
33:05
Speaker 1: obviously doing something illegal to her advantage and one who
33:10
Speaker 1: did not understand and missed something, and therefore what Yeah.
33:17
Speaker 1: Negative stereotypes of the mentally ill interrnews and pop culture
33:20
Speaker 1: have also had negative outcomes on our view and treatment
33:23
Speaker 1: of mental illness. UM. Probably returned to that in future episode,
33:27
Speaker 1: because that's a big topic. UM. Several academic papers have
33:31
Speaker 1: been written about how the news media has historically helped
33:34
Speaker 1: conditioned women to be more fearful by capitalizing off of
33:38
Speaker 1: detailed stories about violence against women. The stories chosen are
33:42
Speaker 1: often that of a young, often white woman being raped
33:45
Speaker 1: by a stranger, leading to a misconception that this is
33:48
Speaker 1: how most rapes happen, and for many reasons that's dangerous.
33:53
Speaker 1: We touched on that in our Trauma series and our
33:56
Speaker 1: friend Justin also touched on that as why that can
33:59
Speaker 1: be seriously dangerous. Yeah, and it impacts people in court
34:03
Speaker 1: rooms because they think that's not what a rape looks like, right, Samantha,
34:07
Speaker 1: our lawyer friend was talking about that was the biggest
34:09
Speaker 1: problem that she faced was it wasn't bad enough to
34:13
Speaker 1: be believed. I read a whole history of rape reporting
34:18
Speaker 1: for this and it was fascinating, very sad, but fascinating.
34:21
Speaker 1: Prior to the nineteen seventies, only three cases of raper
34:24
Speaker 1: reported around women's anger in magazines, and they were viewed
34:29
Speaker 1: as unusual in quotes cases. Two of them dealt with
34:34
Speaker 1: Italian women who refused to marry their rapists and quote
34:37
Speaker 1: redeem their honor, even though the rapist of one of
34:40
Speaker 1: these women was quote so charming well, the rapist was
34:44
Speaker 1: charming well. Starting in the nineteen seventies, articles began to
34:48
Speaker 1: focus more on questions around the rapist motivations and the
34:51
Speaker 1: mother's faults, whether or not the rapist and victims name
34:54
Speaker 1: should be used. What she was weighing those type of
34:57
Speaker 1: things and how it is a societal problem. Yeah. Famous
35:01
Speaker 1: sensationalized cases rape have led to other EPE victims asking
35:04
Speaker 1: their lawyers to withdraw their case fearful of similar attention.
35:10
Speaker 1: I've also read reports on how we've become more okay
35:13
Speaker 1: talking about sexual assault when it comes to women, men
35:16
Speaker 1: taking away women's sexual agency. But we still can't talk
35:19
Speaker 1: about women having sex for pleasure. That's so many other
35:24
Speaker 1: things we could do episodes on. On On this episode, women
35:28
Speaker 1: are definitely generally portrayed as more fearful in our media.
35:31
Speaker 1: This is a more culturally acceptable and expected response from
35:35
Speaker 1: women and girls, like we were talking about earlier. I
35:37
Speaker 1: can personally think of so many trailers that have some
35:40
Speaker 1: shots many shots of women screaming are cowering? Don't they
35:45
Speaker 1: specifically seek out women who can scream? Yeah? We also
35:52
Speaker 1: frequently see a dismissal of women's fears as silly and
35:55
Speaker 1: horror movies. Male characters are more likely to confront the
35:58
Speaker 1: monster head on, while women are more likely to run
36:01
Speaker 1: and only fight when forced. Now, there has been some
36:04
Speaker 1: opinions that that shows the how masculinity won't save you
36:10
Speaker 1: and the usually die immediately. Yes, but still you're seeing
36:14
Speaker 1: male characters in a much stronger kind of like I'm
36:17
Speaker 1: going to go face this problem, and female characters kind
36:20
Speaker 1: of running away. And um, there has been an essay
36:26
Speaker 1: that we're going to talk about a second. The writer
36:29
Speaker 1: of the essay compared like the remakes, the seventies version
36:32
Speaker 1: and the remakes and you generally, the remakes have made
36:37
Speaker 1: the running away into more of a problem solving, like
36:40
Speaker 1: it's kind of a stronger thing than just fleeing screaming. Right, Um, yes,
36:45
Speaker 1: female characters do spend more time screaming and caring as
36:48
Speaker 1: compared to male characters. It's not just me that thought
36:50
Speaker 1: that I don't scream, I get scared, you get silent. Yeah,
36:55
Speaker 1: I'm kind of the same. I might shout and surprise
36:59
Speaker 1: the all know that's my screaming like an actual fear.
37:05
Speaker 1: I very really screaming. In fact, I have um as
37:08
Speaker 1: an actor, I have trouble streaming because it feels so like,
37:12
Speaker 1: I don't know, I get like disingenuous, yeah or something. Yeah.
37:16
Speaker 1: To me, it's not a real response because I'm going
37:18
Speaker 1: to be a freezing person that just as there's stairs
37:19
Speaker 1: that you're like, oh, what just happened? Yeah? So from
37:22
Speaker 1: Chad Brewers two thousand five paper which you're mentioning the
37:25
Speaker 1: stereotypic portrayal of women in slash of films then versus now.
37:30
Speaker 1: In the study of horror films and female stereotype behavior,
37:33
Speaker 1: Zillman and Weaver from n established that girls and female
37:36
Speaker 1: adolescents in horror films who are witnessed displaying fearfulness in
37:39
Speaker 1: protective need in the face of terror on the screen
37:42
Speaker 1: are more favorably evaluated by male and female peers and
37:45
Speaker 1: non peers than their counterparts who are witness display no distress.
37:50
Speaker 1: That me but no distress. The display of fear is
37:53
Speaker 1: merely one example of feminine stereotyped in that viewers expect
37:55
Speaker 1: the females will remain afraid and helpless. No no fear
38:02
Speaker 1: um has long been used as a marketing tactic to
38:05
Speaker 1: convince people, especially women. I would argue to buy stuff
38:09
Speaker 1: that they don't need, so sort of this whole thing
38:12
Speaker 1: of fostering fear and women and then saying you should
38:17
Speaker 1: buy this, You should buy the pink the pink pepper
38:20
Speaker 1: spray which someone has given me as a goody. It's
38:24
Speaker 1: so cute. Wait, didn't you have that in your movie. Yes, Yes,
38:27
Speaker 1: that was based on a real thing. Okay. Some studies
38:31
Speaker 1: have found that people make decisions on birth based on
38:35
Speaker 1: what they've learned from the media, which rarely depicts a normal,
38:37
Speaker 1: healthy birth. It's something that our society has made very
38:41
Speaker 1: mysterious that we've hidden from view unless highly dramatized for
38:45
Speaker 1: our entertainment. Increasingly that is changing with folks going online
38:49
Speaker 1: for more information, which comes with its own set of risk.
38:52
Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of us are familiar with those.
38:56
Speaker 1: Um so there's a lot going on with fear. Fear
39:01
Speaker 1: is a very complex thing to talk about and the
39:03
Speaker 1: impacts that have are also very complex. But we do
39:06
Speaker 1: have a little bit more for you and some solid
39:09
Speaker 1: little tips on fear management. But first we have one
39:12
Speaker 1: more quick break for a root from our sponsor and
39:27
Speaker 1: we're back. Thank you sponsor. So fear management. If you're
39:32
Speaker 1: looking to like go of some fears, experts recommend therapy
39:37
Speaker 1: if that's an option for you, or otherwise finding coping mechanisms.
39:41
Speaker 1: Perhaps if you find your fear is based on things
39:44
Speaker 1: you're seeing in the news, step away or find a
39:47
Speaker 1: different way to get that news. Gradual exposure is something
39:51
Speaker 1: else that's recommended. This is how I got over my
39:53
Speaker 1: fear of aliens and extraterrestrials. Um. This can be re
39:57
Speaker 1: traumatizing though, if not handled carefully and all cognizant of
40:00
Speaker 1: your mental health and learning to recognize emotions and where
40:03
Speaker 1: they're coming from. Like if you can pinpoint why am
40:06
Speaker 1: I so distressed right now? What is it? That's really
40:08
Speaker 1: helpful and that's a tool that you have to work on. UM.
40:12
Speaker 1: I know some places recommend under supervision doing the like exposure,
40:18
Speaker 1: massive exposure right away. I personally have my dubts about that.
40:21
Speaker 1: But if you've got a professional that you trust, do
40:24
Speaker 1: your research. Okay, it's a whole Criminal Minds episode, by
40:29
Speaker 1: the way, is it, Yeah, where the therapist does exposure therapy.
40:32
Speaker 1: But like a lot of yeah, yeah, well yeah yeah,
40:37
Speaker 1: be careful. Yeah to me, it's gradual is key. Maybe
40:42
Speaker 1: first start like just by talking about it, and then
40:45
Speaker 1: go from looking at a picture representation to playing with
40:48
Speaker 1: something related to it, things like that and so on.
40:52
Speaker 1: Always be critical of the media. I think that's a
40:55
Speaker 1: good one. And the news you consume, as we all
40:57
Speaker 1: were already talked about how it is, can be very biased.
41:01
Speaker 1: Make sure you should start thinking about and reasoning out
41:04
Speaker 1: what this means and what it may be saying to you. Yeah,
41:08
Speaker 1: just if you find something is making you afraid, ask
41:12
Speaker 1: why why? Then? Why what is the gender here? Um?
41:19
Speaker 1: I for one have notes that say be brave all
41:22
Speaker 1: around my apartment at my desk as a reminder, and
41:25
Speaker 1: they actually do help for some weird I don't know why.
41:29
Speaker 1: I look at them and I'm like, here we go.
41:32
Speaker 1: I have to take long, deep breaths for me sometimes
41:35
Speaker 1: when I'm in a really bad situation and their fear
41:37
Speaker 1: comes up or the anxiety comes up due to that fear. Yeah,
41:40
Speaker 1: I mean, and that's a good one. If you know
41:42
Speaker 1: what your physical responses are to fear, find ways to
41:46
Speaker 1: physically Fear is powerful and political and useful. It influences
41:51
Speaker 1: our lives on a global and national and personal way.
41:55
Speaker 1: Knowing more about it and how people use it to
41:56
Speaker 1: manipulate us and how it frames the way people view
41:59
Speaker 1: us is really really useful. Because while haunted houses and
42:02
Speaker 1: horror movies can be really fun for some, racism and
42:07
Speaker 1: sexism are not. Obviously, I would hope that would be obvious.
42:12
Speaker 1: I would hope so, but worth repeating, worth repeating, So
42:17
Speaker 1: I feel like there's I have so much more we
42:21
Speaker 1: could talk about. I mean, honestly, we could just take
42:23
Speaker 1: down at decipher through some of these things and do
42:26
Speaker 1: that individual small sentence as a bigger episode. Obviously we
42:30
Speaker 1: could and if those, if anything that we've touched on
42:33
Speaker 1: this episode really resonates with you listeners, right in and
42:35
Speaker 1: let us know, because we take your suggestions seriously. Yes, UM,
42:40
Speaker 1: And speaking of we did want to read some listener
42:43
Speaker 1: mail slash shout outs. Valerie wrote, I'd like to suggest
42:48
Speaker 1: a flash forward. This is a UM when we asked
42:50
Speaker 1: for podcast suggestions UM. In each episode, the podcaster rose
42:54
Speaker 1: Eve the I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly imagines a
42:57
Speaker 1: scenario from the future where some particular thing has happen,
43:00
Speaker 1: such as, for example, if all the honey bees were gone.
43:02
Speaker 1: Actors act out the scenario and then rose it does
43:05
Speaker 1: an in depth look at the science behind it. Highly recommended.
43:07
Speaker 1: Oh that sounds funny, that sounds awesome, fantastic idea. Yeah,
43:11
Speaker 1: I definitely want to check that out. Maggie wrote, I
43:14
Speaker 1: was catching up on Smenty today. I wanted to thank
43:16
Speaker 1: you both for the fantastic episode and women in podcasting. Oh,
43:18
Speaker 1: thank you. I have a movie podcast with my best friend.
43:21
Speaker 1: It's a hobby for us, definitely not a career, and
43:23
Speaker 1: it was so refreshing to hear two talented kickasts women
43:26
Speaker 1: in the industry open up about their experience and insecurities
43:28
Speaker 1: with it. I definitely related to hating the sound of
43:30
Speaker 1: your own voice. I had it all of our podcasts,
43:32
Speaker 1: so I've gotten used to it, but I still often
43:34
Speaker 1: catch myself editing out my arms and likes because of
43:37
Speaker 1: the fear that I'll sound too young, or stupid, or
43:39
Speaker 1: just not confident enough in my opinions and analysis. For
43:43
Speaker 1: the longest time, I was very shy about even telling
43:46
Speaker 1: people I had a podcast because I knew how critical
43:48
Speaker 1: people could be, especially of female voices, and I didn't
43:50
Speaker 1: feel like it was a real podcast since our listenership
43:53
Speaker 1: is fairly small and we record sitting on the floor
43:55
Speaker 1: of my closet because I will trade dignity for good
43:58
Speaker 1: acoustics any day. It didn't help that a friend of
44:01
Speaker 1: a friend wants asked me what what I thought gave
44:04
Speaker 1: me the right to have a podcast when it came
44:05
Speaker 1: up in casual conversation. I've gotten over that, partially from
44:09
Speaker 1: support of my close friends and family and partially thinks
44:12
Speaker 1: to great female podcasting role models, such as yourself. Oh,
44:15
Speaker 1: it's called I. I emailed her back and asked her
44:18
Speaker 1: about the podcast because we need to know. Yes, and
44:21
Speaker 1: it's called the Best Pictures Podcast, and we're watching and
44:25
Speaker 1: reviewing every Academy Award Best Picture. The episodes on It
44:28
Speaker 1: Happened One Night and An American in Paris are probably
44:31
Speaker 1: my favorite. So yeah, my friend is watching the A
44:33
Speaker 1: f I list of top movies. I think they may
44:36
Speaker 1: be done now, but I know that was something. So
44:38
Speaker 1: that's super cool because people want to know what is
44:41
Speaker 1: this because I'm not going to watch every single one
44:43
Speaker 1: of those movies. I have a friend who did that,
44:45
Speaker 1: and she's actually been on the show before. Hello Katie. Yeah,
44:49
Speaker 1: I don't think I seen maybe half, but yeah, I
44:52
Speaker 1: go check out that podcast and then we have another one.
44:56
Speaker 1: Jamie wrote, I just listen to your podcast about Lady Clowns,
44:58
Speaker 1: and it immediately had thinking about my colleague. I'm one
45:01
Speaker 1: of the Capital City Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in Sacramento, California.
45:05
Speaker 1: The Mother House in San Francisco starred in the seventies
45:08
Speaker 1: and has spread all over the world, even in Atlanta.
45:10
Speaker 1: We are five oh one C three that raises money,
45:13
Speaker 1: educates the public, and does amazing things for our local
45:15
Speaker 1: l g B, t q A plus communities. Most of
45:17
Speaker 1: us wear white face paint and colorful makeup, often resembling clowns.
45:21
Speaker 1: Are really pale drag queens. We also wear cornets and veils.
45:24
Speaker 1: Like the nuns, we pattern ourselves after we do the
45:28
Speaker 1: works of nuns in our communities, leading lives of service.
45:31
Speaker 1: But like the clowns in your episode, we spread joy
45:33
Speaker 1: and eliminate stigmatic guilt. Some of us referred to ourselves
45:36
Speaker 1: as sacred clowns. Some of us call ourselves drag nuns.
45:40
Speaker 1: We almost all have sister names. Mine is hav Akiki
45:43
Speaker 1: since I'm Jewish. Most of the other sisters are sis gender,
45:47
Speaker 1: gay men, women, non binary and transistors exist, but we
45:51
Speaker 1: are a minority and can often suffer the judgment other
45:54
Speaker 1: women in typically male dominated group's experience. It's much like
45:57
Speaker 1: with the clowns you spoke to and of, and much
46:00
Speaker 1: like what other pioneering women in our past have experienced.
46:04
Speaker 1: I myself am a podcaster Orange Lounge Radio at vog
46:07
Speaker 1: network dot com seventeen years writing cool. Those are listeners
46:12
Speaker 1: are doing cool stuff, some really cool stuff and from
46:14
Speaker 1: our Instagram accounts or a walk too said in regards
46:18
Speaker 1: to our updated episode, whenever I have to deal slash
46:21
Speaker 1: watch things that are emotionally hard, I get my favorite
46:23
Speaker 1: treat to go with it, so I have suddenly to
46:24
Speaker 1: look forward to and enjoy during it, which is actually
46:27
Speaker 1: really good advice. So I need someone to bring me
46:30
Speaker 1: alcohol and popcorn at all times for all the sad
46:33
Speaker 1: things way ease, but in a healthy manner um. And
46:37
Speaker 1: we did get a d M. Yeah, someone's litten to
46:39
Speaker 1: our d which I didn't know the things which I
46:41
Speaker 1: had to teach you right now. This is not the
46:44
Speaker 1: same context from hands in the Air emoji. I like that,
46:48
Speaker 1: Hieni and Samantha. This is a couple of podcasts late.
46:51
Speaker 1: But I'm wanting to write y'all about the herbal sleep
46:53
Speaker 1: remedy I've been using that quite literally puts me to
46:55
Speaker 1: sleep in under ten to fifteen minutes. Have you ever
46:58
Speaker 1: tried cava cava root? Did a No? I'll usually mix
47:01
Speaker 1: a teaspoon or a half teaspoon in with the evening
47:04
Speaker 1: tea or just a ginger lemon honey for you any
47:07
Speaker 1: because you said you don't let drink tea um and
47:10
Speaker 1: usually never finished the cup because the effects are so quick.
47:13
Speaker 1: So what's a tribe available at our blist shops and
47:16
Speaker 1: some help food store? So I hope this helps? Okay, right, Yeah,
47:20
Speaker 1: I would look into that one. I think it consumes.
47:23
Speaker 1: Like I said in that episode, trying to sleep consumes
47:25
Speaker 1: so much of my life. Another day, I was reminded
47:27
Speaker 1: of when I first moved into my old apartment, not
47:30
Speaker 1: the one I'm currently in. I was filming a movie
47:32
Speaker 1: that was about my character was confined to a hospital
47:36
Speaker 1: bed and she was being tortured by ghost. And I
47:38
Speaker 1: couldn't sleep in a bed for a long time because
47:43
Speaker 1: I was all day in bed being ghost. So my
47:47
Speaker 1: bed was just a mattress. I didn't even bother to
47:49
Speaker 1: put sheets on it. Well, I get sad, and I
47:53
Speaker 1: didn't sleep in my bed for a little while, But
47:55
Speaker 1: as a whole difference, I laugh at at your spness.
48:00
Speaker 1: It is okay me too. If you have a podcast
48:03
Speaker 1: recommendation or advice on how to sleep better, we would
48:07
Speaker 1: love to hear it. You can email us at Stuff
48:09
Speaker 1: Media Mom Stuff at iHeart media dot com. You can
48:12
Speaker 1: find us on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told You,
48:14
Speaker 1: are on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always
48:17
Speaker 1: to our super producer Andrew Howard Andrew, and thanks to
48:21
Speaker 1: you for listening. Thank you, Stuff I've Never Told You
48:24
Speaker 1: his protection of I Heart Radio's how Stuff First. For
48:26
Speaker 1: more podcast from my Heart Radio, visit the heart Radio app,
48:28
Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.