Latest / Notable Nostalgia / 87. 90's Fan Fiction! Golden Girls: Sophia Bets the House

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87. 90's Fan Fiction! Golden Girls: Sophia Bets the House · Notable Nostalgia

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Dorothy, don't be sad. I can't give you all of that while in
0:04
Vegas. But if you want something that's stuff, just knock on Blanche's door
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any given night, Sophi. Y'all, if I wasn't so excited about Vegas,
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I would be quite upset with you. I'm Ali, I'm Andy,
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I'm Jeff, and I'm Ria, and this is Notable Nostalgia. Welcome everybody
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to a very special Thanksgiving episode of Notable Nostalgia. We have Ali, Jeff,
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and we are here today. How's everybody doing. I'm okay. So
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today I thought it'd be fun. I had so much fun writing that Munchie
0:47
script and that I wanted to do another one. So I thought it'd be
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fun if we did a Golden Girls episode that was Thanksgiving, Thief. That's
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a great idea, Andy, Thank you, thank you. So before we
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start, I'll give a little bit of info about Golden Girls. The Golden
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Girls was a show. It started nineteen eighty five. It ended in nineteen
1:03
ninety two, so we just barely get the cut off there. This episode
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takes place in nineteen ninety one. That we're about to read. That's what
1:11
I had in my head. They have won multiple awards Critical Acclaim through most
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of its run, and they won a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Comedy Series
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twice. It also won three Golden Globes for the Best Television Series Musical or
1:25
Comedy, and each of the four stars received an Emmy Award, making it
1:29
one of the only four sitcoms in the award's history to achieve this, which
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is cool. Wow. Yeah yeah, so different seasons than they nominated different
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actresses. I guess I've had a better season that year. You know that's
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interesting? Yeah, yeah, right, super weird, But no, I've
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I grew up watching Golden Girls. I always loved it. I always thought
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it was really funny. I like how they go back and forth. So
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when I wrote this, I didn't try to put an Andy spin on it.
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I'm straight up trying to write a Golden Girls episode. Okay, I
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love it. I'm excited. Yeah. Do you have a favorite Golden girlandy?
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Oh, probably Sophia. Okay, I just think Sophia is so witty.
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Yeah she is. She's She's my favorite, too, is she?
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Yeah? Okay? My heart always belonged to Rose when I was younger watching
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this, I just thought she was so great, But as I got older,
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I think I liked Dorothy. Dorothy. You never hear anybody say Blanche.
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I like Blanche. I love it. I like her. Is Blanche
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your favorite? Yeah? Oh weird? Shut my mouth before though, out
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of the four of us, who would be Rose, I would probably be
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Mario Lopez. Remember that episode human and then he remember, uh, he's
2:46
it's not called exported, what is it deported? He still gets deported at
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the end of the episode. It's like, oh, that's so sad.
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You wanted like a happy ending for him. Yeah, Lord, so good,
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and he's oh, he's like in his fifties now, I think.
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Yeah. Lenny Kravitz came out with a new video where he's like naked.
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You can't see his dingling or anything, but he's naked for most of it.
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Fucking Jesus, he's like sixty. Well he just got put on like
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the running for the Sexiest Man Alive. And then with everybody else there,
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I'm like, it has to be Lenny Craft, right, I mean it's
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see are you kidding me? Yeah? Like, I think it's great that
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they chose somebody that was attacked with acid, But who's the Kelsey brother,
3:28
that's not dating Taylor Swift Jason. Jason, he goes, I'm not even
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the sexiest man in my family. That's a pretty good response. Yeah,
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he was great. Jeff. I think we've had the conversation on the podcast
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which Golden Girl, which we which we are? Okay, so remind me
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so, Jeff, you're definitely Blanche. Yeah, and then it don't look
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so heavy and yeah. And then Andy is Rose because Andy's really sweet and
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kind Yeah, not a bit like us. And then Ria is convinced that
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I'm more Sophia than Dorothy. Yes, so Rias are Dorothy because I yeah,
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and I can see that the two of you, because the two of
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them go back and forth a lot, and you two go back and forth
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a lot too. Yeah. So I like it. I like it.
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We're like the Golden Girls. Yeah, Golden Girls. Oh my god,
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when we get old, we sha't live together. Let's do it? Yeah,
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boom, it would be fun. Actually I have a shirt. It's
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the Dungeons and Dragon shirt, but it's the Golden Girls and it says Dungeons
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and cheesecake. Oh, these women were young when they were on this show.
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Recative to win like ros or when she died. Yeah, and they
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were young, Like, I think, what's her Blanche was like in her
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fifties. I think she was like fifty seven or fifty five or something,
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and j Lo is like like fifty three. I think, do you think
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Jayla's gonna look just like Blanche? Two years? Probably? Ja. I
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would watch j Lo and Lenny Kravitz fuck Mario Lipez. Yeah, but if
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I just left and then you come back eighteen minutes, it's like and then
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that's when killer Oh my god. It is interesting though, how like younger
5:19
people are casting older roles. Like John Mahoney, who plays Fraser's dad,
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was like literally only like four years older than Fraser. I think, yeah,
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he wasn't much older. Yeah, I think it's great that the show
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like Can is still I still watch as a comfort food. I still watch
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it, and still it still was ahead of its time too on some of
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the stuff that they talked about, but it's still funny. Yeah. Like
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I just watched one episode where Rose thought she got HIV and so they went
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and then the doctor or somebody goes, you don't have to give your real
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name, was like okay, and then she gives Oh my God, it's
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so fucking good. It's a great sitcom. Joe. Yeah, yeah,
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for sure. Yeah, that whole episode is actually surprisingly funny for the subject
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matter because it was done in like ninety one or ninety nine, you know
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what I mean. So but yeah, that's a great episode, good writing.
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But that same writer went on to write for you know, Fraser,
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Cheers, I think Cheers beforehand, Modern Family. There's a few shows that
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that writer went on to write for and produce and stuff, so nice Wing
6:30
Wings was one of them. So yeah, Christopher Lloyd m Yeah, we've
6:34
talked about him, and actually we were talking about him last week's episode because
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his wife just passed away. I'm not laughing because of that. She did
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the voice for Harley Quinn and so I explained the whole thing all right.
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Back to back episodes both kind of related. Yes, yeah, sorry,
6:58
I forgot because we recorded Fraser BEFO for some of the other episodes that came
7:00
out, and yeah, time Travel. Yeah, I was editing it and
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it was so weird because I finished editing it two days ago and my friends
7:09
brought up Liam Neeson pissing himself all the time, and as I'm editing it,
7:14
Jeff Goss like, what the fuck? Yeah, he just peace himself
7:23
and he's you're that bad ass. You can just be yourself and not even
7:27
worry about it. It's like that you might be cool, but are you.
7:30
Liam Neeson just pissed himself cool. You can uh, you can keep
7:33
this Internet. I don't I don't know if it means anything. But when
7:38
I introduced so we intro we we recorded Fraser before we did the two Halloween
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episodes, and on those two Halloween episodes, I introduced Donald Trump or Jeff.
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And it's so funny because right before I started those segments, Jeff,
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there's so much stuff in the in the Fraser episode, Jeff, that is
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trump worthy. No, that's not good. Yeah, quite a bit.
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It's just like up until the moment, just Jeff, just yeah, it's
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a fun episode. I hope everybody liked it. It hasn't come out yet,
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but by the time they listen, yes, that was a good episode.
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Last week. There is thanks for all the positive reviews. Yeah you.
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On tonight's episode, Ali will be playing Dorothy and salesperson too. Rilla
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will be playing Sophia and Casino. Jeff will be playing Blanche and the spokesperson.
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At the end, myself and he will be playing Rose and salesperson won
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the biggest camp would be thank you. Just remember this show was recorded in
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front of him live studio Island Conterrier, daytime, Miami. The house is
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covered with full time decorations and your turkeys on the wall, leaves hanging typical
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Thanksgiving decorations. You see Rose with a group of girl Scouts in the kitchen
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wearing headdresses and pilgripats while drawing. Dorothy and Sofia cooking while the football game
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is playing on a portable TV near the sink. Oh, come on,
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he missed that block by a mile. Okay, kids, good job.
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Those are all great drawings of turkeys. See using your own hands helps draw
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the turkeys. Except Tina, Honey, what does your turkey? Why does
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your turkey only have one feather on top? Good job, Tina, Here
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you go, sweetie. Sofia walks over and gives Tina a dollar. Sophia,
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I still don't get it. Why would the turkey only have one feather?
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Because Rose, I want you to go, mah what, Dorothy.
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I wasn't gonna say anything bad. All I was gonna say is Rose,
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will you please go pluck yourself? Rose looks confused. Come on, kids,
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your parents are here. All the kids get up to leave. Ma,
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you shouldn't be so hard on Rose. Let's just say she's missing a
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few feathers in that head dress of hers. Dorothy, it was a joke,
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and don't worry. Being hot on Rose is almost impossible. She never
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gets my jokes. I bet I would have a better conversation with an actual
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Rose. Rose re enters the kitchen, Sophia, I was thinking about what
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you said. You know, go pluck yourself. Yeah, how did you
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know? I won the plucking competition back in Saint Olaf. Here we go,
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Ma, you brought this on yourself. When I was younger, my
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uncle Alexander used to wait, just Alexander. I thought his name would have
10:43
been something weird like Secarius Kirklaveowner. No, no, you must be thinking
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to my other uncle Clifford. Now he was the one with a weird name.
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Dorothy rolls her eyes. Well, anyway, Uncle Alexander had too many
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orders for turkeys one year, and he thought of a genius idea. Yea,
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this is gonna be good. A good idea in her family was to
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remember to keep breathing. What was that, Dorothy, Oh nothing, honey,
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keep going as I was saying, Uncle Alexander took too many orders for
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Thanksgiving like he normally did, and he needed help processing all the turkeys.
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So he reached out to the kids and said, whoever can pluck the most
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turkeys in three hours, win's the prize of Colkin Plocinar. And they were
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get and they will get to wear the the Colchin Plocinar badge. That was
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actually the first year that he let animals join. Rose six with a satisfied
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look of nostalga on her face. Silence. Oh are you done? Rose?
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I spaced out when you started talking about calculus. Oh ma, be
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nice. That's a very lovely story, Rose, Good job on your Calcutta
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badge. Dear blanch Rock's in the kitchen. Excited girls, You not believe
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what I wanted today at work? Oh yeah, you said your work was
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having a raffle drawing today. I take you won something good. Oh you
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bet you shook. I had top prize. Oh wow, that's exciting.
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I figured you would be better to share a gift with than my three best
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friends in the entire world. Ooh, nice to you. Wait, what
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is it? I thought you never asked? A round trip to Las Vegas
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with all my friends. Wow, that's so cool, But there is one
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edy bed issue. It's next week. But Rose, that's Thanksgiving. I
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know, shook, but you have to Have you ever been to Las Vegas?
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No, a place like that had never had too much appeal to me.
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Games of Chance, I don't know. Something about that just feels too
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much like a gamble to me. Rose. You don't have to gamble while
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you're there. There are lots of things to do, god to eat,
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watch a magic show, lund around the pool. Ma, I'm surprised you
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want to go. Thanksgiving is one of your favorite holidays. Yeah, kitty
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Cat, you're right, But how often does an opport you need to like
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this come up? Well, you're right, Ma, I'm in. This
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could be fun. I'm going to miss our Thanksgiving dinner mashed potatoes, corn,
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and my favorite part, the stuff turkey. Dorothy, don't be sad.
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I can't give you all of that while in Vegas. But if you
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want something that's stuff, just knock on Blanche's door any given night. Sophia,
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if I wasn't so up sad about Vegas. I would be quite upset
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with you. Oh Blanche, you know I'm joking. You're taking me to
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Vegas. I couldn't say a mean word about you. Then I haven't said
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a thousand times before. Well, it's settled, we're going to Vegas.
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Well I'm gonna go pack. Everyone gets up to pack except for Rose.
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Everyone you know. I think I've decided I'm gonna go too. Sophia stops
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in her tracks. Ugh, fine, I'll still go. Bart has a
13:58
job. Shud catch it all News Simpsons. Then Brendan and Brandon's friends are
14:09
throwing them a surprise party. And you'll never guess why. We're going back
14:13
to Minneapolis. Minneapolis. Brandon's getting a present he'll never forget. I want
14:18
goodbye to the moment we both remember. But before their last goodbye, there's
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a secret that has to come out and All New nine O two one oh
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Thursday, Interior Casino, Vegas. All four women are standing with their luggage
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and line at the concierge desk. Blanch is getting distracted by all the good
14:41
looking men walking by. Oh, girls, I think I might get into
14:46
some trouble here. There are some good looking fells around. Oh Blanche,
14:50
keep it in your pants. We don't even have a room yet, Dorothy,
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you think that would stop her? Hi, we're checking in and for
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the Devereux. How do you spell that? Blanchewalks in front of Dorothy to
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talk to the casino worker. D E V E R e U X and
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the X was sound, sweetheart. Sophia opens her mouth like she is about
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to say something smarty, shut it. Ma ah, Yes here you are.
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Looks like we've got you in room two three three. Oh that's a
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nice room. Queen size bed, color TV, bath and shower and a
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mini fridge. Thanks, sweetie. Blanche grabs the keys and starts walking off
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with her luggage. Blanche, aren't you forgetting something? Oh? You're right
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here you go. Blanch walks up and tips the worker. No, what
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about our rooms? Your rooms? Well, sweety, I don't know.
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Did you make a reservation? No? I thought our rooms were included.
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I work at a small art gallery, not for Donald Trump. Well where
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are we supposed to stay, Blanche? I'm sure they have more rooms.
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Unfortunately, we only have sweets left. The big boxing event is the weekend.
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Fine, I'll take a suite, okay with taxes and one day booking.
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You're looking at seven hundred and thirty nine dollars and forty six cents.
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Oh, I meant just for the weekend. Oh for the weekend. Okay,
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that will be twenty two, eighteen and thirty eight. Blanche, I'm
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staying with you. Same me too. We just have ree d you the
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whole thing. You're right, okay, okay. What if a handsome millionaire
16:37
wants to take me away to his island? Well, if you're on an
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island, that leaves more room for us. Oh fine, we'll probably won't
16:47
be in the room much anyway. As they start walking, Sofia noticed as
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a sign that says free room for two nights. Ask me how with a
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well dressed man standing in front of it. Look, girls, our problem
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is solved. Blanche starts strutting towards the gentleman. Dorothy grabs Blanche's arm.
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Ah, you have a room. Let me speak to this fine gentleman.
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Dorothy struts up, twirling her purse strap. Hello, sir, I see
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your sign, and I'm curious how would one get this free room? Dorothy
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starts batting her eyes. What's wrong, Dorothy, got something in your eye?
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Shut its Rose that's me. It's easy. All you have to do
17:27
is sign up here. Wait, how do we know this is on the
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up and up? Oh? Feel free to ask the concierge. I'm here
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all the time we were actually working for the hotel. Sofia glances at the
17:40
casino worker. The casino worker nods and approval. Dorothy goes to start signing
17:44
up, signing up, all while trying to look cute for the gentleman.
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Sofia grabs Dorothy's arm. Hold on, kitty Kat, So, people just
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sign this paper and get a free room. Okay, I can tell you're
17:56
smarter than the average tourist. There is a meeting or two you have to
17:59
go to, but they aren't long and most people actually have a lot of
18:02
fun in them. What kind of meeting? By a simple meeting, we
18:06
look to show people all their options on vacation in Las Vegas. Because if
18:10
I overheard you, you guys don't have room for tonight, right, yeah,
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yeah, yeah, come to the meeting tomorrow at eleven am, and
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we'll show you how that will never happen again. Kind of inside Vegas stuff.
18:23
You wink, sad at Sofia, Inside Vegas, I have more relatives
18:27
buried inside Vegas than you know. Okay, Dorothy, let's sign up.
18:33
Dorothy starts to sign up, seeing phase to black. I've just had the
18:37
greatest experience. I called nine hundred three seven zero zero zero zero zero and
18:41
talk to advise psychic advisor for only three ninety nine a minute, and she
18:45
knew everything about me. I told you the psychic friends could help find collitions
18:48
to your problems in questions, whether money, career, love, or relationships.
18:52
She even told me about my boyfriend, and sure enough it was true.
18:57
Call nine hundred and three seven zero zero zero zero deal and speak directly
19:02
to why authentic psychic sem astrologist don't hesitate? Come now, have you heard
19:07
there's a delicious addition to McDonald's menu, New McLean Deluxe. Of course you
19:11
did, It's written all over your face. But did you know McLean Deluxe
19:15
has all the great taste of a big, juicy burger, but with a
19:18
lot less fat. It's made with a ninety one percent of fat free beef
19:22
petty, which might lead one to ask, with a taste this terrific?
19:26
Who needs fat? Well? Sorry rhetorical question. New McLean Deluxe After billions
19:33
and billions. Another verse at McDonald's today, Interior Hallway, Vegas Hotel.
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Okay, can we make this quick. I don't know why I decided to
19:42
go with you. I have a room. I thought ahead, thought ahead,
19:48
thought ahead. You know what, Blanche? If this turns out to
19:51
be an elaborate scheme just so an axe murderer can kill us, it'll be
19:53
my final goal to make sure he thinks of your head first. I was
20:00
kidding Rose. If he wanted to kill us, he would have done it
20:02
last night. Come on. Dorothy pulls Rose by the arm and they enter
20:07
the room. Interior Hotel, Room daytime. MA, I can't believe you.
20:19
What Dorothy, don't what me? You just bought Sorry, don't what
20:26
me? You just bought a timeshare, Dorothy, Dorothy, Dorothy, you
20:29
don't get a d You don't pay for a time share. It ends up
20:32
paying you. It ends up paying you, It ends up paying you.
20:36
Ma, you can't afford this. Listen. All they need is five hundred
20:40
dollars down and the rest in a month. Where are you gonna get five
20:42
hundred dollars? Ma, Dorothy, don't worry. I already gave him a
20:47
check. Well, that buys you a little time. But wait, MA,
20:52
you don't have a checking account. We canceled it after you ordered you
20:55
that bun mass to three thousand. Sothia starts to walk towards the bathroom.
21:00
Dorothy hurries over and blocks the bathroom door. MA, what are you doing,
21:06
Dorothy? I'm eighty one years old. You better watch out when I
21:08
need to peep. My bladder is about as reliable as an engagement with Julia
21:12
Roberts nineteen ninety one. Remember yeah, Ma, okay, okay, Dorothy,
21:21
I got the check from your purse. Oh my gosh, MA,
21:23
how could you listen? Dorothy? I normally don't do things like this,
21:27
but I have a really good feeling about this. Look, we have a
21:30
suite for two weeks out of the year, so if we run it out
21:33
for one week for the price of two weeks, it pays for itself and
21:37
we get a free week in Vegas? Are you listening to yourself? That
21:41
doesn't make any sense. Why would someone pay double for the room? No,
21:45
see, it's like this. Look. Since the company started, the
21:48
average room in Vegas has almost doubled. How long have they been a company?
21:52
MA, I don't know. Dorothy grabs a brochure from Sofia. Oh
21:56
good, they started in nineteen sixty one. Plan will work out when you're
22:00
one hundred and eleven. The door opens and walks, or the door opens
22:04
and walks in. Whoa, the door opens and walks in Rose and Blanche
22:11
and in walks in walks Rosen Blane. Oh there were go go. The
22:15
door opens and in walks Rosen Blanche. Okay, there we go, Wow,
22:21
Blanche. I can't believe anyone would ever fall for those. Right when
22:25
I walked in, I could tell it was a scam. You can always
22:27
tell brunch was good, though, How could you tell, Rose? Because
22:30
I went back for seconds. I almost never do that. No, Rose,
22:36
how could you tell it was a scam? Oh? We have a
22:37
saying back and saying, oh off, we're into an idiot? What's that
22:41
mean? Don't be an idiot? You see, Ma? Even Rose knows
22:48
better better than what go ahead, Ma tell them. Sophia glarees at Dorothy.
22:53
Oh yeah, need to go to the restroom. Sophia shuts the bathroom
22:59
door. Now that I think about it, I guess I could use the
23:02
restroom too. No Rose, Ma went and signed up for a time share
23:07
when my back was turned. Ough, it's when my back was turned.
23:10
I was talking to the handsome mister Phillips, you know, the supervisor working
23:14
there. Oh yeah, you two were talking a lot. And the worst
23:17
part is she used my money. She was duped by those fast talking salespeople.
23:22
I have to think of a way to get ma, I mean,
23:23
my money back. But how oh that all makes sense? What? What
23:30
makes sense? Now? I know why he was talking to you all night
23:33
instead of me. He was distracting you so they could sell timeshare. Sophia.
23:41
For a second, I thought I had lost it. Dorothy stairs blankly
23:45
at Dorothy stairs blankly at Blanche as Blanche is smiling oblivious. Thanks Blanche.
23:56
So what you're saying is like, I'm a reverse prostitute. I have to
24:00
pay someone to talk to me. Dorothy is about to start choking Blanche.
24:07
Sophia comes out of the bathroom right then. Okay, Pussycat, I had
24:10
some time to think it over. I don't think this was my best idea,
24:14
you think, ma, Come on, I got an idea when Blanche
24:17
was calling me a reverse prostitute. Wait now, I'm really confused between the
24:21
two of you. You're the prostitute. You haven't had a date in months.
24:27
At this rate, you would need to pay someone to sleep with you.
24:30
Dorothy stares angrily. Oh now I get the reverse prostitute. If you
24:40
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We're business so you can get to be one of those big rich companies that
25:00
everybody resents. This is a Fox News update. President Bush has warmly welcomed
25:18
at the White House. Doctors say his heartbeat is back to normal. Good
25:25
mister Bush will be monitored for a few days, but doctors say medicine should
25:29
do the trick. It's hope the President will be back up to full speed
25:32
within a week. This has been a Fox News update. Interior Office day.
25:48
All four of the women walk up to the counter. Excuse me,
25:52
sir, I would like to talk to you. Yes, ma'am, I
25:56
would like my money back. Please. You confuse my mother and took advantage
26:00
of her. Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. I would like
26:03
to help any way I can can I get a name, Sophia Petrillo.
26:07
I'll be right back. Thank you. Rosen blanchewalk in the office. You
26:12
won't believe it, you two, Yeah, I can't believe it. What
26:17
is it? Guess who we just saw signing autographs? I don't know,
26:21
Bot Simpson, of course, not silly, but close. Do you think
26:26
they're related? Salesperson comes back. Excuse me, ma'am. I found the
26:30
paperwork, and unfortunately your mom signed a contract. Not only did she sign
26:36
a contract, but she wrote on the memo line on the check haha,
26:38
suckers, Ma, Sorry, pussy cat. I thought I outsmarted them,
26:44
but I think I was just in awe of the suite and all the benefits.
26:47
Did you know their spokesperson is going to be here this weekend as a
26:49
member weeket to meet him? Who mauh? Just then a lot of poparazzi
26:55
sounds happened when the door opens and a tall, attractive black man enters the
26:59
room, but you only see the back of him. He is well dressed
27:02
in white, gold shirt, black slacks, brown gloves, and the hat.
27:04
Let me give you a hint. Dorothy the Year's nineteen seventy three,
27:08
a young running back is about to break the single greatest record in NFL history,
27:12
and I have tickets to the record breaking game. You know what happens?
27:18
No, Ma, what Your uncle Leo dies from a heart attack.
27:22
Me and your father have to miss the game. Oh my gosh, I
27:26
am such a big fan, Sir, me too. I just loved you
27:30
naked. I think you mean naked gun bln Just then OJ Simpson turns around
27:41
and takes off his glasses. Oh sorry, my mistake. What are you
27:45
doing? Sorry, Rose, I just had to stick out my neck for
27:48
this man of stature. Sophia walks over to OJ. Mister Simpson, Mister
28:00
Simpson, I am your biggest fan. I watched all your games, all
28:03
except one. I think you are the best. Over two thousand yards in
28:07
a single season, over fourteen thousand yards altogether. Won the MVP. You
28:11
just killed it. Do you get those sticking your neck out? No?
28:15
I get it, I get it all right. You're up, Jeffrey OJA.
28:19
Oh my god, yay, Wow, you are a football fan.
28:26
If you have something to sign, I'd be happy to do it. Rich,
28:30
attractive, a movie star holds some kind of sports records, and it's
28:34
nice to women now I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I
28:41
think it's destiny. We were meant to be together. Uh No, I
28:45
didn't think I would be running into you. Okay, how about this,
28:52
since you say you're such a big fan. Where did I go to college?
28:55
Please give me something hard? University of Southern California. Wow, I'm
29:00
very impressed, Missus Petrillo, Sofia Petrillo. Well, Missus Petrollo. I
29:07
don't have a lot on me, but how about this. OJ Simpson takes
29:11
off his gloves and gives them to Sofia. Wow, I love it.
29:14
Thanks Juice. Hey, Dorothy, look, Sofia walks back over to Dorothy.
29:19
Hey, Ma, that's pretty cool. Hopefully you can sell them for
29:22
five hundred dollars to pay me back. While you were talking to your boyfriend
29:26
over there, this young man told me. While you are talking to your
29:32
boyfriend over there, the young man told me, we can cancel right now,
29:36
but we lose the money you put down already. Oh, I have
29:38
an idea. Sophia walks over to Oj. He is talking to Rosen Blanche.
29:42
Mister Simpson, Yes, Sophio, we're in a little hot water with
29:48
this company. I signed up for a time share when I didn't exactly have
29:52
all the funds, and well I was wondering, can I have five hundred
29:56
dollars? So great? Ma, mister Simpson, Hi, I'm Dorothy's a
30:03
burnak and that's my mother. I think what she was trying to say is
30:07
you are the spokesperson for this company, right, and you appear to leave
30:11
love your fans. Is there anything you can do to help us out with
30:15
our little problem? Maybe even talk to this young man over here, see
30:18
if there's any way we can get a refund. Well, Sophia is looking
30:23
up to the sky praying, okay, consider it done. How can I
30:27
say no to her? Oh? Thank you, mister Simpson. Thank you.
30:32
You have a heart of gold. The sales guy comes over with the
30:37
The sales guy comes over with the check and hands it back Dorothy then rips
30:41
it in half. Thank you, mister Simpson. Yeah, I'm until the
30:47
next few days and don't really know anyone. I am going to order catering
30:52
for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Would you love the lady's care to join? Yeah?
30:56
Sure, okay, only one rule though, I get to do the carving.
31:03
Yeah, fair enough, Okay, sounds good. I am in Sweet
31:11
sixty nine. Nice come over around ten am so we can watch the parade
31:18
and the game. I normally eat pretty early. I'll have all the food
31:22
you can imagine, and all you need to do is bring yourself. But
31:27
I'm so sorry. I need to go now. I have a meeting about
31:30
fifteen minutes and I need to get ready for Oh, I can't believe it.
31:34
Thanksgiving dinner with the celebrity. I bet it's gonna be so good.
31:40
Everybody starts walking out of the room. I'm dang it. What's the matter.
31:44
Mah, these gloves don't fit. We have to refit them. Okay,
32:07
thank you for me in my friend. Did you guys get the Jeffrey
32:13
Dahmer joking A free Dahmer joke? No, I don't think I do.
32:16
Room two thirty three, motherfuckers, that's his room. Yeah, that's my
32:22
God. That was awesome. Yeah yeah, oj was so nostalgic. Nostalgic.
32:28
Yah. Yeah, it's such a thing to me that could have happened
32:31
before, like all the ojish, you know. Yeah, but god,
32:35
the fucking gloves and carving. I love that, Like, oh, you
32:39
know, football, because right when nineteen seventy three. The running. I
32:43
can tell that you're like, oh, yeah, I know where this is
32:45
going. Oh that was well done, yes, well done, incredible,
32:51
amazing, Like the dialogue was perfect, the jokes were all like so spot
32:55
on. I thought Ria did a really nice job, Sophia, Yeah,
33:00
yeah, Ali did a great job. Dorothy and Andy did did the sweetness
33:07
of Rose. And then I thought I thought my performance was Mammy worthy for
33:17
sure, for sure? Yeah, well done. Yeah, I want to
33:24
do a script. Now I've done a script. Yeah, I can help
33:28
you write it. That would be fun. What show should I do?
33:31
Duh uh yeah, yeah, so good. Okay, it's Brandon, So
33:44
I would be more fan fiction. But I really feel like you captured the
33:47
like the heart of the show and the characters and the back and forth and
33:52
some of the verbiage that they use was like so spot on. Yeah,
33:55
I was trying the kitty cat and and everything. So it's so well done,
34:04
Like Bravo, man, that was great, Oh thank you. Yeah,
34:07
and I can like picture in my head and then with the sounds and
34:09
everything, there's gonna be like laugh tracks and music. I think it would
34:12
be pretty good. All the tropes are there too, like the kids doing
34:15
like the native American you know, standard Thanksgiving crap, and then like a
34:20
random Vegas trip that somebody wins for no reason. You know. It was
34:22
like such a perfect like sitcom trope. And then in the early nineties and
34:28
eighties, anytime anybody ever talked about someone rich, it always Donald Trump,
34:31
you know what I mean, Like, yeah, god damn well, uh
34:38
I do you have a new segment? What's a podcast? In a podcast?
34:50
Sam and sushi wasn't introduced in Japan until next ninety five, when the
34:53
Region Businessman convinced Japanese business man the Atlantic salmon was safe to eat. Raw
35:00
blue eminem didn't exist until nineteen ninety five. See, we were all fucking
35:07
good facks in a podcast? Andy, what's a cold fat podcast? And
35:15
a podcast? Here? Andy, what's a cool bag? What so good?
35:39
This is it? It's gonna be one little fact, It's gonna be
35:47
fine. Well, just whatever year. It was just a fun fact back
35:51
found that's the best segment. Thanks Andy, that was crazy. Thanks for
35:55
that fact though maybe that could be I don't know, we got something rolling,
36:05
but that's funny, all right, right, Well that was it?
36:13
Ok, Yeah, that was it. Everybody. Thanks for listening before we
36:16
go, though, does anybody have anything to promote Ali? How about we
36:22
start with you? No me, I just have things going on, So
36:27
follow me on any social platform at Ali Jay is gay. Instagram is the
36:30
best way to keep up with everything I'm doing. Just a f y I
36:37
riyah, No, I don't. I guess I have nothing going on in
36:45
my life. If you want to look at pictures of my dog, Gus
36:50
Gus, you can follow him on Instagram at Gus Gus Underscore of the Dog.
36:54
You just pictures of Gus uh future draft. If you're listening, I
36:59
know we discussed you getting into rock painting. I want to paint rocks because
37:02
I think and then I just I don't know if we talked about this before,
37:06
but where do you get rocks at? We did? I think we
37:10
did it on the Frasier episode. You said you're gonna take them from apartments.
37:19
Yeah, so in parks and stuff like that. So, like,
37:21
if you haven't started painting rocks yet, like you need to go and paint
37:24
rocks. And if you're listening, just start sending rocks to Jeff in the
37:32
infinite Are you prepared for your Christmas gift, which is just going to be
37:36
a painted rock. Here you go, but there's just throw So by time
37:46
this comes out, for sure there'll be one episode, a new episode of
37:50
the Averagers. I got all the audio recordings. Woo good drop by you
37:57
welcome, Thank you, Thanks for listening. Make sure you tune in,
38:00
Make sure you leave us a review. If you don't, Jeff will kill
38:05
you. Yeah, well, I well I know how I would. But
38:07
they're a rock. I'm just kidding. But until next time, I've I
38:13
am. Until next time, I'm Andy. I'm Ali Devereaux. Oh you're
38:20
not, Hey, Manny's not gonna do it. Someone's got it. Well,
38:22
I thought you're getting Ali Bornet sign off. Ma, I'm Ria picture
38:29
let I'm Jeff. Notable nostalgias of production of Big Door Prize Media. You
38:37
can find us links to our social pages and other podcasts on the network at
38:40
Bigdoor Prize dot com slash podcasts. This podcast is produced by me Ali and
38:46
edited by both myself and Andy. Our logo was created by Aaron Adhack of
38:51
uglyhawk dot com. If you can share with a friend or leave us review
38:54
so more folks can find us. Thanks for listening, Big Doom, Big
39:04
dum Bingo Urprize Media h